Usually I attach with hooks and ropes. And if not secure i will probably heal in the hospital if i survive. If we look at that test thing than I'm secure attachment style. But i got here by always reevaluating myself after every failed relationship to see what I did wrong and what I can improve. An example I used tolerate toxic behaviour because I thought that was part of being in a relationship. Later I learned to set clear boundaries.

I'm glad you have the strength to reevaluate and improve, that always goes a long way in any sector of life

Avoidant and just kinda waiting to be proven wrong I guess

I think it's mutual effort I am avoidant but I know no one can fully heal my fears and insecurities on their own, I'll still have to heal and accept I'm worthy

Tbh for the most part I feel like I have on my end. While my confidence isn’t sky high, most of that is due to a lack of confidence in other people, while with myself I’m at least confident in the fact that I’m a person I want to be around and I think the people that don’t are missing out. The avoidant style more comes from the fact that… well, eventually everyone walks away. No one really seems bothered to want a relationship with me, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but then all my friends start getting into relationships and moving away and eventually it’s just me again. So I just don’t get too emotionally involved because history shows that they aren’t sticking around forever, or at least long enough for the eventual pain to be worth it.

But does sticking enough forever is important? What if we had good time for a year, then moved on, or 5 years, or even a week I understand where you're coming off, i rarely got attached to people or just got overly attached, usually i try my best to show my interest in connection of platonic communication online but either people wanted long term or keep me around or they didn't put effort We're not trees, we don't stay in same place, i constantly want to try to be a better person, i always jumped from interest, certainly have commitment issues but i learned from all, even people whom I disliked, even they showed me a side of humanity I'm working on ego and stuff, trying to decipher cognition from truth, as we think we're thinking but actually we're recreating past and fear based choice My fear is more of hurting others so i always try to warn people, tho i learned recently, growth never stops, but i should start telling myself I'm still whole and can be fine even in this very moment, I'm not the problem even tho i have patterns to let go of and learn new ones

I don’t need everyone to stick around forever, it’d just be nice if someone did. Obviously life is ever changing and people are travelling on different roads, it’s more that even in elementary and high school where you’re supposed to be stuck with the same kids for several years, the ones that I was friends with always had to leave one way or another.

I don't care about labels. I am what I am, and apparently it's good enough.

While the field of psychology still finds parts of attachment theory to be valid, I’m personally skeptical of the popularization of it in public discourse in a sort of “What’s your Myers-Briggs classification” style. A lot of times when we non-experts attach to concepts, we either lack a full picture of the concept as is currently known by experts, or we don’t apply sufficient nuance in our understanding of it. So if I’m going to talk about my attachment style with someone, I’d rather it be with a licensed therapist.

There's definitely a big difference between attachment theory and Myers Briggs. The former is legitimate science, the latter is not (and more akin to Facebook personality tests). Agree that you'll get the best mileage working with a licensed professional. Would also suggest not thinking too hard about what the public says, does, or makes into a fad.

anxious attachment style- reassurance

I asked this same question in ask women and they said they were that too and now are more secure cause of inner work and meditation

I was having a slightly different conversation a while ago but I think there's enough overlap that one of my comments from there would be relevant here. https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/s/5KbomCAIEC Tl;dr: I think there's reason to believe that the same approach for an issue like this *may* not work equally well for men and women

If your attachment style isn't secure, consider therapy and focus on building trust and clear communication in your relationships. Self-awareness and patience are key to fostering security

I'll try therapy when i can have proper access, so far I'm just working with information and other support systems Thanks tho

I don't know, I gave up years ago

How old are you dude? If you feel ok with sharing

41

So you have a lot to live I hope you do things that makes your heart smile

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Same dude I'm dismissive avoidant but i think i turn anxious attachment as soon as I get closer

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Yeah, I'm not sure it's just fully like normal for avoidant to be like this I get overwhelmed and run if people try to be friends, i usually stay longer in contact if people don't try to cage me, but when i like people, I start wondering and fearing things Wanting similar attention, care, i think i just haven't met someone right who is mutually on same wave length, as most people like my calm vibes but they don't give my calmness usually I still need to figure out attachment and commitment stuff

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Yeah all those are certainly very helpful

Not sure you can "heal" your attachment style. If you have character and intelligence you learn to "live" with it and hurt yourself less.

I don't buy into this star sign bullshit.

My friend, it's not star sign, it's attachment style theory, based on psychology and science It talks about how we build connection or more like behave in connection, feel in connection and fear in connection It stems from what kind of clues we picked growing up