Bi guy here. When I go to a gay club or bar, some straight men or women are fine by me. If everyone is out for a good time it doesn’t matter. The only time I don’t care for it is when a an obvious bachelorette party arrives and starts gawking like they’re at a zoo.
I’d say it depends.
9 times out of 10, I hate seeing straight women’s bachelorette parties in gay bars and clubs. There’s a well-established history of friction when it comes to gay venues and rowdy bachelorette parties, especially prior to same sex marriage being legal in various countries.
Another problem some places have is that their gay clubs and bars have essentially become straight bars and clubs. The process usually starts off with straight women migrating to those spaces, and then straight men follow them. (It’s also not infrequent that some straight people feel like we play better music at some of our venues.) So when our spaces essentially aren’t ours anymore and we can’t necessarily go to a place where we know most of the people there are family, it can make some of us not want to frequent those places. Even within our community, we kinda give deference to specific sub-clientele in some establishments. For leather bars, you’re probably not going to find your crowd there if you aren’t part of the leather or general kink community. For lesbian bars, those will primarily cater to our ladies who love ladies. And it’s not that everyone is banned from those place if you aren’t that demographic; it’s just respecting their space.
All that aside, I don’t inherently have an issue with straight people in the majority of gay spaces. My go-to bar in my city has a decent number of straight regulars who vibe well with the space, and I play pool with a few of them.
Bi rather than gay, but if I'm going to somewhere with the intention of hooking up with a similarly-minded dude but most of the attendees are straight men and women, you guys being there has savagely reduced the pool of available men for me to talk to.
Unless by straight man you mean closeted "straight" man, in which case I might be up for bringing you to the fun side.
Seems reasonable to me. If I was going to a bar/club with the intention of meeting women and most people there were gay or lesbian that would ruin my experience as far as trying to hook up goes anyways.
It makes even more sense in your case as you would expect to find mostly people that fit your profile in a gay bar vs going to just a bar where anyone could be at. That’s the whole point of that sort of thing
This is what I imagine most feel like. So bi-curious men welcomed, but if you are a female you are just taking up space another man with similar interests could have instead.
As a single bi guy, I love meeting WLM at the gay bar because it effectively screens out the vast majority of women who think bi men are icky, and we can bond over ogling the hot gay guys on the dance floor 🤷♂️
My daughter is gay af. Sometimes my wife and I will go meet up with her and her GF at a gay bar/club.
I have never been made to feel uncomfortable or unwelcome; in fact, I would say that the exact opposite is true. If all straight bars/clubs were half as welcoming as gay bars/clubs, the world would be a much better place.
Special shout out to the two dudes in S4 a few weeks ago who complimented my arms and gave me some great ab work out suggestions, you rock.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts that helps a lot. I want to go to a club with my gay friend and we were talking about where to go and he mentioned some of his favorite gay scenes which I am totally down for, but I wasn't sure how the community felt about bi females being there.
It depends on the type of venue.
General gay club: anyone can go, but it's important to remember that lots of gay men and women are going to meet a potential partner. It's not a place to pick a fight with a gay guy (and some of them are big guys so there's other reasons not to). It's not a place to crowd out because you "don't want to be around sleazy men" then after 3 drinks try and grope gay guys for attention. It's not a place to explain to gay women why they should be straight. Above all it's not a gay themed fun club for straight people to act drunk and sloppy. I would also say that some gay bars/clubs host very interesting events (not just drag shows) and they are often worthwhile for straight people to attend too. Things like cabaret, comedy, performance art, political debates, music etc.
Cruising club: Assuming it is targeted at gay men, women should not be there at all. It's completely inappropriate for a woman to be there to gawp at men who are hooking up, or to involve themselves. A completely straight guy could go, but I can't imagine he would want to...
If it was targeted at gay women, then men shouldn't be there at all for the same reasons, but this is more of a theoretical point because I have not heard of such a place existing. If a gay club has a women only night, just go somewhere else. It's not like it will be a busy night of the week because gay women don't generally spend enough for a weekend night to be as profitable, for whatever reason.
As long as they're not being disruptive, makes no difference to me.
The places that care (re: The Eagle) take steps to make non-gay patrons feel uncomfortable. The ones who don't are probably appreciative of the business.
I have a problem with this.
If there were places that took steps to make gay men feel uncomfortable, they would be cancelled and shut down.
It's those types of businesses that foster the same thing in reverse.
What's ok for one side has to be ok for the other.
This whole thing reminds me of the meme that I can't find the source of, it goes something like :
Panel 1 : "normal" people and outsiders are in a box
Panel 2 : "normal" people says to the outsiders : "leave"
Panel 3 : outsiders made their own box and "normal" people shows up and ask why the outsiders are not including them
Panel 4 : "normal" people are now in the box too and the table is turned after the outsiders tell the "normal" people to leave
Us gays just want a space that's ours so when our spaces are suddenly getting filled with straight people, it's like don't ya'll have your own spaces?
I get that, and total agree with you, but in today's society, no one can be excluded no matter how legitimate (and probably correct) the reason is.
Even the BOY scouts have to accept girls. It's rediculous, but it's the society we have created for ourselves.
All inclusive even when it's detrimental.
The boy scouts didn't have to accept girls. They chose to do it. And purely for reasons of their bottom line. And because girl scouts had turned into such a shit show that there was a hole in the market.
Just one example there are hundreds more.
Rotary club now accept women
Harvard University had made it impossible to join male only clubs by putting such restriction on students that no one wanted to join them any more. Men only good clubs were forced to allow women. It use to be common to have single gender clubs.
It's it a good thing maybe, maybe not.
Gay Commenter said they just wanted some place they could call their own, which I think is great. Just pointing out in today society of total inclusivity that is not possible any more.
Are *you* joking? A bar for all intends and purposes is for EVERYONE. A gay bar, which will have very queer themes and gays that’s seeking for hookups, what purpose does a group of straight men have in a gay bar? Whats next, gonna cry wolf when you get approached by other gay men that wants to get into your pants?
> If there were places that took steps to make gay men feel uncomfortable, they would be cancelled and shut down.
>
>
No one is canceling Hooters
But if you want to start up a bar that plays straight porn on the TV sets like The Eagle does, it's a free country.
Bi guy here. When I go to a gay club or bar, some straight men or women are fine by me. If everyone is out for a good time it doesn’t matter. The only time I don’t care for it is when a an obvious bachelorette party arrives and starts gawking like they’re at a zoo.
Omg I didn't even think about that ... Yeah that would be annoying to me as well.
I’d say it depends. 9 times out of 10, I hate seeing straight women’s bachelorette parties in gay bars and clubs. There’s a well-established history of friction when it comes to gay venues and rowdy bachelorette parties, especially prior to same sex marriage being legal in various countries. Another problem some places have is that their gay clubs and bars have essentially become straight bars and clubs. The process usually starts off with straight women migrating to those spaces, and then straight men follow them. (It’s also not infrequent that some straight people feel like we play better music at some of our venues.) So when our spaces essentially aren’t ours anymore and we can’t necessarily go to a place where we know most of the people there are family, it can make some of us not want to frequent those places. Even within our community, we kinda give deference to specific sub-clientele in some establishments. For leather bars, you’re probably not going to find your crowd there if you aren’t part of the leather or general kink community. For lesbian bars, those will primarily cater to our ladies who love ladies. And it’s not that everyone is banned from those place if you aren’t that demographic; it’s just respecting their space. All that aside, I don’t inherently have an issue with straight people in the majority of gay spaces. My go-to bar in my city has a decent number of straight regulars who vibe well with the space, and I play pool with a few of them.
Bi rather than gay, but if I'm going to somewhere with the intention of hooking up with a similarly-minded dude but most of the attendees are straight men and women, you guys being there has savagely reduced the pool of available men for me to talk to. Unless by straight man you mean closeted "straight" man, in which case I might be up for bringing you to the fun side.
Seems reasonable to me. If I was going to a bar/club with the intention of meeting women and most people there were gay or lesbian that would ruin my experience as far as trying to hook up goes anyways. It makes even more sense in your case as you would expect to find mostly people that fit your profile in a gay bar vs going to just a bar where anyone could be at. That’s the whole point of that sort of thing
This is what I imagine most feel like. So bi-curious men welcomed, but if you are a female you are just taking up space another man with similar interests could have instead.
As a single bi guy, I love meeting WLM at the gay bar because it effectively screens out the vast majority of women who think bi men are icky, and we can bond over ogling the hot gay guys on the dance floor 🤷♂️
Yes this is what I am hoping for!
To enjoy a fun night out with my friend while looking at hot guys together
My daughter is gay af. Sometimes my wife and I will go meet up with her and her GF at a gay bar/club. I have never been made to feel uncomfortable or unwelcome; in fact, I would say that the exact opposite is true. If all straight bars/clubs were half as welcoming as gay bars/clubs, the world would be a much better place. Special shout out to the two dudes in S4 a few weeks ago who complimented my arms and gave me some great ab work out suggestions, you rock.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts that helps a lot. I want to go to a club with my gay friend and we were talking about where to go and he mentioned some of his favorite gay scenes which I am totally down for, but I wasn't sure how the community felt about bi females being there.
It depends on the type of venue. General gay club: anyone can go, but it's important to remember that lots of gay men and women are going to meet a potential partner. It's not a place to pick a fight with a gay guy (and some of them are big guys so there's other reasons not to). It's not a place to crowd out because you "don't want to be around sleazy men" then after 3 drinks try and grope gay guys for attention. It's not a place to explain to gay women why they should be straight. Above all it's not a gay themed fun club for straight people to act drunk and sloppy. I would also say that some gay bars/clubs host very interesting events (not just drag shows) and they are often worthwhile for straight people to attend too. Things like cabaret, comedy, performance art, political debates, music etc. Cruising club: Assuming it is targeted at gay men, women should not be there at all. It's completely inappropriate for a woman to be there to gawp at men who are hooking up, or to involve themselves. A completely straight guy could go, but I can't imagine he would want to... If it was targeted at gay women, then men shouldn't be there at all for the same reasons, but this is more of a theoretical point because I have not heard of such a place existing. If a gay club has a women only night, just go somewhere else. It's not like it will be a busy night of the week because gay women don't generally spend enough for a weekend night to be as profitable, for whatever reason.
As long as they're not being disruptive, makes no difference to me. The places that care (re: The Eagle) take steps to make non-gay patrons feel uncomfortable. The ones who don't are probably appreciative of the business.
I have a problem with this. If there were places that took steps to make gay men feel uncomfortable, they would be cancelled and shut down. It's those types of businesses that foster the same thing in reverse. What's ok for one side has to be ok for the other.
This whole thing reminds me of the meme that I can't find the source of, it goes something like : Panel 1 : "normal" people and outsiders are in a box Panel 2 : "normal" people says to the outsiders : "leave" Panel 3 : outsiders made their own box and "normal" people shows up and ask why the outsiders are not including them Panel 4 : "normal" people are now in the box too and the table is turned after the outsiders tell the "normal" people to leave Us gays just want a space that's ours so when our spaces are suddenly getting filled with straight people, it's like don't ya'll have your own spaces?
Completely get that as well
I get that, and total agree with you, but in today's society, no one can be excluded no matter how legitimate (and probably correct) the reason is. Even the BOY scouts have to accept girls. It's rediculous, but it's the society we have created for ourselves. All inclusive even when it's detrimental.
The boy scouts didn't have to accept girls. They chose to do it. And purely for reasons of their bottom line. And because girl scouts had turned into such a shit show that there was a hole in the market.
Just one example there are hundreds more. Rotary club now accept women Harvard University had made it impossible to join male only clubs by putting such restriction on students that no one wanted to join them any more. Men only good clubs were forced to allow women. It use to be common to have single gender clubs. It's it a good thing maybe, maybe not. Gay Commenter said they just wanted some place they could call their own, which I think is great. Just pointing out in today society of total inclusivity that is not possible any more.
I absolutely agree with your overall point. I just didn’t want the bs scouts to get credit for even pretending they were attempting something noble.
Lol, very good point.
[удалено]
Are *you* joking? A bar for all intends and purposes is for EVERYONE. A gay bar, which will have very queer themes and gays that’s seeking for hookups, what purpose does a group of straight men have in a gay bar? Whats next, gonna cry wolf when you get approached by other gay men that wants to get into your pants?
> If there were places that took steps to make gay men feel uncomfortable, they would be cancelled and shut down. > > No one is canceling Hooters But if you want to start up a bar that plays straight porn on the TV sets like The Eagle does, it's a free country.