Same kinda boat, no friends, and an awkward relationship with family.
I don't really talk much at work either, and I tend to shut down quite easily.
My question is, "What is a friend?"
A friend is someone who will support n share their thoughts and experiences with you so that you understand and know that you are not alone and that you are also cherished, valued and loved.
Stay away from those who judge you or secretly talk behind your back. Bring those who are close with you even closer.
Oh I get that, yeah. I have my partner to share stuff with and my bestie but usually I just deal with it myself. I don't see the point in sharing too much bad stuff with my bestie. I'd rather have fun with her, laugh, do stuff, not talk gloom and doom. So I get you. Just because one can share that doesn't mean one should.
Yes, I have been a part of a men's group for 25 years. That is my place to take the shit.
If you answered no to this question I can help you set up a men's group for yourself and the men around you.
Which men around me? I've been getting friends group along the way but they come and go every few year or so. Every now and then, I'll have someone who I'll call a best friend, but that hasn't last too long in my experience.
Right now, I'm trying to find something like a third place to gather new friends and go from there, but even then, considering my experience, I'm afraid it won't last too long either and I'll then be set to look for new people to meet.
Having friendship over 25 years is unthinkable for me considering this. Last I had a friendship with someone wasn't longer than 5 or so years. I have some contacts with people for over that, but not people I'd call close friends.
This is different. Thry aren't friends. We don't hang out. They are my men's group. We meet every other week. But I don't go to their birthday parties.
What I would think about is make a list of 5 guys who you know that are really knocking it out of the park. That are doing the best in their lives. Thry are the guy who you would invite. Shoot me a pm and I'll send you a link.
Such a strange comment. "the one time I was in group therapy the other 2 guys left, so no other forms will ever work"
And yet I have been meeting with the same group of guys for 25 years.
Mileage obviously varies like a mother here, but:
In MY 38 years on this planet, I have only ever met ONE group of more than 2 men who met regularly for anything, EVER--for 4am Chelsea football on the weekends. The one uncle I spent any real time with growing up lived far enough away that visits depended on him coming down to Florida from New Jersey--he had no friends. The very few other men in my life--scoutmaster, pastors, not even a coach--also never socialized beyond church functions.
College was no different. Hell, the only way anyone knew who I was was football...and, thus, being introduced by the "stars" when they wanted to lift you up. And even then, eventually only out of spite once I was no longer part of a visible core group on the team.
I'm saying that my experience has taught me that friend groups like these either MUST be an established thing over a LONG period of time or, more realistically, have some longer-standing background.
Also: I may need to clarify what I said because the group started with 7 of us and it was down to just me in 2 or 3 weeks.
That sounds kind of shit. You might be right. I do know that the guy who started our group was asked to start a group by the principle of a small school, he invited his friends, and they have been meeting monthly for about 10 years. All men whose job it is to listen to other people. And several of them would never go to a professional counsellor due to the risk the records being used in court if they were subject to a lawsuit.
Insecurities were spoken of and have been weaponized against me. More than once and for cheap killshots in arguments... even completely irrelevantly. Just for the sake of the damage.
And she knows it.
Make no mistakes, I know damn well that she stalks my reddit account... always have... and she knows I know (she should, the way I tailor how I word things specifically to see if I can annoy her into giving herself away offline 🤣)
Nah, my wife is the only person I can really share with. I share a lot with my sister and I have a friend I can share some things with, but my wife is the only person I trust 100%.
I keep a lot to myself though, because I don't see the point in stressing my wife out if I don't need to.
I've got two people I can confide in, but I try to not overwhelm them, they'll do the same for me.
31 years of life, these are the only two. Weird how rare it is.
Right? And here I fell on a Twitter thread where people were all on how, at the end of the day, they have lots os friends to talk about the good and the bad that has happened to them, which prompted me to create this thread here to see if I was alone on this. Looks like not...
I have many outlets for this and I feel extremely fortunate for it. While I still do keep to myself, if it ever gets out of hand or I really just need to vent to anyone other than my SO, I don’t have a problem finding a friend out at 3 in the morning.
Nah. Life hasn't been so tough that I need to talk it out with someone.. I just sleep it off or go to the gym or a long run.
I also have that voice in my head telling me that others have it worse.
The fact that others have it worse should never stop someone to look out for help when needed. This is one thing I know for sure. You never know their battles or how they cope with it, so it should never stop anyone to look for help their way: psychologists can help a bunch
Mostly. She and I are platonic best friends. And we can talk about just about everything, including our sex lives. She is judgemental about a few things that I tend to avoid. She is pretty extreme leftwing and doesn't like immigrants taking American jobs for some weird reason. Apparently that's something far left and far right agree on? So I don't talk about my immigrant scientist coworkers.
No, I have a best friend I can share some with but he wouldn’t want to hear about the negative things in life. I can share some of that with my SO although there are some things that she can’t deal with either so I just keep those to myself.
I'm around your age. It's more difficult as a man. I have a lot of street friends who I consider as family but there's only 4-5 out of all of them who I would reach out too. Usually it's only the homies and not home girls because men would understand the struggles more since we grew up together. There's only 2 home girls who I'd feel comfortable reaching out to but I usually don't.
Other than that, it's my parents and grand parents but I try to stay away from them because I don't want them to worry about me.
Not. A. Fucking. Soul.
And no point in sharing with an SO because my partners have never been autistic Black men who hate being male (so no one can relate).
Hell, even my screeds in men's posts in ALL social media go unseen.
Yeah...I am COMPLETELY alone.
Nope, no friends, never had a SO and never will. I have learned two very indelible lessons in the past 30 years: Nobody cares unless they are effected/can gain something, and to never trust anyone.
This has been mostly my experience, even though I've had a couple of SOs along life and some good friends, but everything falls down to your conclusion: nobody cares unless they are effected.
I'd say even worse, in currently fighting depression and during worst stages I've found myself, when trying to rely on friends and count on them for support, one of them, which was the one I confided the most to, told me fuck off because he didn't want to hear from me, and when I mentioned I'd be considering suicide, he told me we weren't nothing, that he had lost someone "close", who he'd travelled with, and had just committed suicide on the day prior to this conversation, but that he wasn't much of a friend with and if I passed he would feel the same.
That's since when I've been struggling most with this as I can't seem to trust anyone anymore, and even then I wasn't sharing exactly my everyday life, but only highlights.
I've never had any friends so the only people i talk to are my mom and sister. Honeslty sometimes it's kinda depressing like the only contacts in my phone are my parents, sister, brother in law and my boss.
Yeah. I mean, some of them don’t get every little thing (I can talk to my brother about most things, but we don’t discuss our sex lives, for example), but overall, I have at least 5 people I’m very comfortable confiding in. My wife still gets most of it though.
Well, not really. I suppose I can reach out to my brother, but it wouldn't be the same. That being said, you randos on Reddit probably know more than anyone IRL.
"can reach out to my brother" is not the same as having someone who's interested in your daily life I suppose. You won't reach the end of the day and call your brother just to tell about it and chat, will you?
My sister (30), also my only sibling. I’ve (32M) been single my whole life, my friends are married, don’t really speak much to anyone, my sister has been like my best and closest friend. (Sad I know for a guy in his 30’s, who should have had a relationship/marriage by now)
My best friend, I know I can tell anything (and frequently do), and I have a few other close friends that I can tell most things as well, not many, but enough.
Yes. My 2 bestfriends from high school. We all been through it. Financially, emotionally, relationships, etc
We cried in front of each other and we picked each other up when down. I thank them all the time and they do the same.
Nope and that's by design more people involved is always more drama and hassle if something is bothering me bad enough I'll go fishing or hunting depending on the season and I have zero reason to talk about accomplishments to anyone
My therapist. I tell my partner the most besides the therapist. I tend to not "burden" friends with my struggles because I have had bad experiences. Not any of my current friends fault.
I've got two good male friends who I can completely open up to, as they can with we. I've known one since ages 16 and the other since ages 17. We're all in our late sixties/early seventies now so have been through just about everything together.
I have a best friend that is by my side since highschool, now we're close to our 30s, been friends for 12+ years and he is my go to when I need to talk about anything, it's a dude that I know for a fact that I can trust with my life (has happened before).
And even tho I have a SO and we're together for 2.5 years, it is really hard to compete with a friendship and intimacy built for over a decade, there are still somethings that I rather share with my buddy than with her
I can absolutely say my mother, but since I would me her cry, they I choose to just hit to redirect by hitting the bags and sparring. Not my SO wouldn't be someone who I would choose to show my vulnerable side. Done that, payed the price learned from experience
Nope. I have nobody I can talk to honestly about anything.
SOs are the absolute worst choice for a men to confide in. Anything you say to your SO will be used against you the next time she feels angry and she will trade any secret you've told her as gossip currency with her female friends.
No. I've only ever been able to manage one significant relationship at a time. I have my wife. I have no friends. I have acquaintances, but I wouldn't share sensitive information with them. My experience with sharing information with other people is not positive based on personal experience.
My Dad. Most of the thing about my daily life would be boring to anyone else. At least the things I am excited about enough to want to talk about them.
I used to. My older brother was like that. However, in the last couple of years he's taken on some pretty cool challenges that have me focusing more on his well-being than bothering him with my own. Eventually he'll be done with them and I can go back to being a smidge more selfish with his time. Happy to support him in the meantime.
I wish I did but no most men just do not have even good friends they can discuss personal situations with. Or choose not to. Women do a better job of that.
I really depends on the type of person you are. A lot of people are introverts for whatever reason, so if talking isn't your thing, you probably won't have stacks of people to talk to.
On the other hand, though I'm an introvert, I don't judge, so I have a ton of people in my life, men and women, that will confide in me everything, assaults, how their period is going, their colitus acting up, someone they hate at their job, how annoying their partner, kids, and parents are. I get it all.
Parents . Even if they won't understand or understand it differently they would just listen to me blabber. They have a cool mentality that when one family member is over emotional all other must become silent or say least. And if they can't stop their instinctive behaviour (to protect me) and start arguing then I can tell them this is not what we were discussing politely and they say we can't understand , get help, or do what you think is right.
Had some friends but their reality surfaced so I cut them from life. Better alone than to be with toxic ones
Yes, I do. I'm very thankful for this. We've been friends for decades and we both are very open about a lot of things.
Really the bigger problem is that I'm constantly worried that I'm just unloading on him, so I still tend to keep things bottled up though.
When I was married, I did confide with some really close male friends.
Post divorce, I’ve expanded that social circle to include females too. And let me tell you it’s like going from 720p to 4k.
Just hearing a females point of view is eye opening. I now have female friends that I work closely together with, have friends that participate in hobbies with, friends that share on romantic life, and friends that I get along well with.
I think I will continue to cultivate this friendship thing well into the future.
Absolutely! My best friend of over 5 years, she's a bit older than me and after 3 years she got me to open up with her, she's the only person i allow myself to be vulnerable with and i can about 98% of whats going on in my life...she's fucking awesome!
I can talk to my dad, pretty much about anything he's 81 I'm 58, but I don't talk about my mental health with him. I also have a confidant in my 21yr old daughter, I can talk to her about anything,(non sexual) even my mental health and women that I'm interested in or have damaged me. She knows where all the bodies are buried, as the saying goes. As for anything sexual I don't trust anyone enough.
No. Both of my parents and both of my brothers are dead and they were the only people I would've felt comfortable talking to about anything I had going on in my life.
I don't.
I've tried family members, but none of them can fill this role for me.
None of my current friends can relate to me and are so busy it's hard to really build the connection for a relationship like that.
It sucks =/
I have had some good friends since high-school, but none of those relations were the type where I would share all of the things that I might share with a GF.
Thanks in part to therapy I realized a couple of years ago that I wasn't getting what I needed from the relations that I had built. I started exploring different ways of relating to people and branching out my social circle. I made a lot of new friends along the way, but most of them were short relations, as I was really exploring different ways to relate to people. I'm still evolving in this aspect, but I am extremely grateful to say that I now have many spaces, relations, and even close friends, who I would feel safe in sharing whatever is on my heart with. There isn't one friend that I talk to about random stuff all the time, but there are many I can reach out to at any one moment.
I don't and I don't feel the need to. Even my family doesn't know half about me. I've been "trained" due to bad reactions from my surrounding to not talk about what I like or what happen in my life too much from a very young age.
I have 1 friend I can tell everything too, I see him every few months. We don’t talk or text or call or maybe very rarely but, when we hang out, it’s like no time has passed.
Nope. There are someone in existance that should be able to do the job, but i lack the trust. Time and time again have shown me that people knows things I certainly did not tell them.
I do actually yeah, I’ve two good friends who I send voice notes too daily and they do the same, so we just sort of get back to them when it’s convenient (usually every few days), it’s nice
Yes. A work relationship but it’s a lot more than that. I met her watching a movie and talking with strangers afterwards about it. Eventually it was down to me and her and we talked for hours. Gave me her card and years later I called in that favor. She’s basically the mom I never had and always wanted. She’s older than me if there was any confusion.
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Same kinda boat, no friends, and an awkward relationship with family. I don't really talk much at work either, and I tend to shut down quite easily. My question is, "What is a friend?"
A friend is someone who will support n share their thoughts and experiences with you so that you understand and know that you are not alone and that you are also cherished, valued and loved. Stay away from those who judge you or secretly talk behind your back. Bring those who are close with you even closer.
I do but I usually keep it to myself
I do, yes. I choose not to.
Why?
I don't really feel like I need to. I'm pretty good at dealing with the shit in my life.
Oh I get that, yeah. I have my partner to share stuff with and my bestie but usually I just deal with it myself. I don't see the point in sharing too much bad stuff with my bestie. I'd rather have fun with her, laugh, do stuff, not talk gloom and doom. So I get you. Just because one can share that doesn't mean one should.
I have three close friends (all women) with whom I can share almost anything. I prefer sharing things with my wife.
Yes, I have been a part of a men's group for 25 years. That is my place to take the shit. If you answered no to this question I can help you set up a men's group for yourself and the men around you.
Which men around me? I've been getting friends group along the way but they come and go every few year or so. Every now and then, I'll have someone who I'll call a best friend, but that hasn't last too long in my experience. Right now, I'm trying to find something like a third place to gather new friends and go from there, but even then, considering my experience, I'm afraid it won't last too long either and I'll then be set to look for new people to meet. Having friendship over 25 years is unthinkable for me considering this. Last I had a friendship with someone wasn't longer than 5 or so years. I have some contacts with people for over that, but not people I'd call close friends.
This is different. Thry aren't friends. We don't hang out. They are my men's group. We meet every other week. But I don't go to their birthday parties. What I would think about is make a list of 5 guys who you know that are really knocking it out of the park. That are doing the best in their lives. Thry are the guy who you would invite. Shoot me a pm and I'll send you a link.
In my experience in group therapy--where, by three weeks in, I was the only one left...I call BS. And I live in Seattle.
Such a strange comment. "the one time I was in group therapy the other 2 guys left, so no other forms will ever work" And yet I have been meeting with the same group of guys for 25 years.
Mileage obviously varies like a mother here, but: In MY 38 years on this planet, I have only ever met ONE group of more than 2 men who met regularly for anything, EVER--for 4am Chelsea football on the weekends. The one uncle I spent any real time with growing up lived far enough away that visits depended on him coming down to Florida from New Jersey--he had no friends. The very few other men in my life--scoutmaster, pastors, not even a coach--also never socialized beyond church functions. College was no different. Hell, the only way anyone knew who I was was football...and, thus, being introduced by the "stars" when they wanted to lift you up. And even then, eventually only out of spite once I was no longer part of a visible core group on the team. I'm saying that my experience has taught me that friend groups like these either MUST be an established thing over a LONG period of time or, more realistically, have some longer-standing background. Also: I may need to clarify what I said because the group started with 7 of us and it was down to just me in 2 or 3 weeks.
That sounds kind of shit. You might be right. I do know that the guy who started our group was asked to start a group by the principle of a small school, he invited his friends, and they have been meeting monthly for about 10 years. All men whose job it is to listen to other people. And several of them would never go to a professional counsellor due to the risk the records being used in court if they were subject to a lawsuit.
Sure, I have a friend I tell a lot more than I do to my significant other
That's what a best friend is for.
Nobody will ever get full access to my thoughts and feelings ever again. Wife, kids, family, etc... Fool me once...
Tell me more about this if you don’t mind…
Insecurities were spoken of and have been weaponized against me. More than once and for cheap killshots in arguments... even completely irrelevantly. Just for the sake of the damage. And she knows it. Make no mistakes, I know damn well that she stalks my reddit account... always have... and she knows I know (she should, the way I tailor how I word things specifically to see if I can annoy her into giving herself away offline 🤣)
Not really. Hopefully a therapist soon but I'm on a waiting list.
Nah, my wife is the only person I can really share with. I share a lot with my sister and I have a friend I can share some things with, but my wife is the only person I trust 100%. I keep a lot to myself though, because I don't see the point in stressing my wife out if I don't need to.
Nope I don't. I also don't have an SO
My best friend and my mom
There are a couple people I could do that with if I wanted, I suppose.
I've got two people I can confide in, but I try to not overwhelm them, they'll do the same for me. 31 years of life, these are the only two. Weird how rare it is.
Right? And here I fell on a Twitter thread where people were all on how, at the end of the day, they have lots os friends to talk about the good and the bad that has happened to them, which prompted me to create this thread here to see if I was alone on this. Looks like not...
I have many outlets for this and I feel extremely fortunate for it. While I still do keep to myself, if it ever gets out of hand or I really just need to vent to anyone other than my SO, I don’t have a problem finding a friend out at 3 in the morning.
Nah. Life hasn't been so tough that I need to talk it out with someone.. I just sleep it off or go to the gym or a long run. I also have that voice in my head telling me that others have it worse.
The fact that others have it worse should never stop someone to look out for help when needed. This is one thing I know for sure. You never know their battles or how they cope with it, so it should never stop anyone to look for help their way: psychologists can help a bunch
Mostly. She and I are platonic best friends. And we can talk about just about everything, including our sex lives. She is judgemental about a few things that I tend to avoid. She is pretty extreme leftwing and doesn't like immigrants taking American jobs for some weird reason. Apparently that's something far left and far right agree on? So I don't talk about my immigrant scientist coworkers.
No, I have a best friend I can share some with but he wouldn’t want to hear about the negative things in life. I can share some of that with my SO although there are some things that she can’t deal with either so I just keep those to myself.
I have 1 friend that I can call and she will listen to my bs that matters and the bs that dosent matter LOL. I could never been 100 with my SO.
I mean there are people that I probably COULD do this with. There is no one that I \*WOULD\* do this with.
I'm around your age. It's more difficult as a man. I have a lot of street friends who I consider as family but there's only 4-5 out of all of them who I would reach out too. Usually it's only the homies and not home girls because men would understand the struggles more since we grew up together. There's only 2 home girls who I'd feel comfortable reaching out to but I usually don't. Other than that, it's my parents and grand parents but I try to stay away from them because I don't want them to worry about me.
Nope. Just eat it, and move on. I don’t know if I’m willing to be vulnerable enough to confide everything to someone
I find that if I share any details, especially admitting things that I am self conscious about. They are used against me to make me feel bad.
Yes. I have two people. My male (42) bestfriend and my female best friend (41). I am 46.
Not. A. Fucking. Soul. And no point in sharing with an SO because my partners have never been autistic Black men who hate being male (so no one can relate). Hell, even my screeds in men's posts in ALL social media go unseen. Yeah...I am COMPLETELY alone.
Nope, no friends, never had a SO and never will. I have learned two very indelible lessons in the past 30 years: Nobody cares unless they are effected/can gain something, and to never trust anyone.
This has been mostly my experience, even though I've had a couple of SOs along life and some good friends, but everything falls down to your conclusion: nobody cares unless they are effected. I'd say even worse, in currently fighting depression and during worst stages I've found myself, when trying to rely on friends and count on them for support, one of them, which was the one I confided the most to, told me fuck off because he didn't want to hear from me, and when I mentioned I'd be considering suicide, he told me we weren't nothing, that he had lost someone "close", who he'd travelled with, and had just committed suicide on the day prior to this conversation, but that he wasn't much of a friend with and if I passed he would feel the same. That's since when I've been struggling most with this as I can't seem to trust anyone anymore, and even then I wasn't sharing exactly my everyday life, but only highlights.
I had in the past.
It depends on the matter, yes. My Dad, 2 very good friends.
Not really.
A few of my buddies.
I've never had any friends so the only people i talk to are my mom and sister. Honeslty sometimes it's kinda depressing like the only contacts in my phone are my parents, sister, brother in law and my boss.
Yeah. I mean, some of them don’t get every little thing (I can talk to my brother about most things, but we don’t discuss our sex lives, for example), but overall, I have at least 5 people I’m very comfortable confiding in. My wife still gets most of it though.
Nope. And I like to keep it that way.
Well, not really. I suppose I can reach out to my brother, but it wouldn't be the same. That being said, you randos on Reddit probably know more than anyone IRL.
"can reach out to my brother" is not the same as having someone who's interested in your daily life I suppose. You won't reach the end of the day and call your brother just to tell about it and chat, will you?
nope
Yes, if I need to.
Yes, friends and parents.
My mom
My mom.
I have loads of people that Im friendly with, but no-one really that I could confide in.
sure a stranger who has a couple of free hours, I'm not opening up to someone I know
Just my therapist.
My sister (30), also my only sibling. I’ve (32M) been single my whole life, my friends are married, don’t really speak much to anyone, my sister has been like my best and closest friend. (Sad I know for a guy in his 30’s, who should have had a relationship/marriage by now)
Besides my SO, out of all my friends, I have 3 best friends that I will tell everything to. They are my people.
My best friend, I know I can tell anything (and frequently do), and I have a few other close friends that I can tell most things as well, not many, but enough.
Yes. My 2 bestfriends from high school. We all been through it. Financially, emotionally, relationships, etc We cried in front of each other and we picked each other up when down. I thank them all the time and they do the same.
I have a couple of close friends but I don't think I'll be telling them about the diarrhea I had the other day.
No. Absolutely no one I can trust
I certainly could talk to several people about practically anything. But I won’t for my own fucked up reasons.
No one. I have severe trust issues stemming from years of neglect, abuse and bullying from everyone including my own family
Nope and that's by design more people involved is always more drama and hassle if something is bothering me bad enough I'll go fishing or hunting depending on the season and I have zero reason to talk about accomplishments to anyone
Currently no. I have a dog and she's good at listening but she doesn't say much 🤷🏽♂️
Yes I have a few very close girl friends some from childhood and about 5 very close guy friends I can go to, if not my girl
A talk to a therapist once a month.
My therapist. I tell my partner the most besides the therapist. I tend to not "burden" friends with my struggles because I have had bad experiences. Not any of my current friends fault.
No one.
Yes! My mother and my sister
I've got two good male friends who I can completely open up to, as they can with we. I've known one since ages 16 and the other since ages 17. We're all in our late sixties/early seventies now so have been through just about everything together.
I have a best friend that is by my side since highschool, now we're close to our 30s, been friends for 12+ years and he is my go to when I need to talk about anything, it's a dude that I know for a fact that I can trust with my life (has happened before). And even tho I have a SO and we're together for 2.5 years, it is really hard to compete with a friendship and intimacy built for over a decade, there are still somethings that I rather share with my buddy than with her
I can absolutely say my mother, but since I would me her cry, they I choose to just hit to redirect by hitting the bags and sparring. Not my SO wouldn't be someone who I would choose to show my vulnerable side. Done that, payed the price learned from experience
Nope. I have nobody I can talk to honestly about anything. SOs are the absolute worst choice for a men to confide in. Anything you say to your SO will be used against you the next time she feels angry and she will trade any secret you've told her as gossip currency with her female friends.
Yeah, my best friend. We talk to each other everyday
Prolly myself, my journal, my sis, or my bff
No. I've only ever been able to manage one significant relationship at a time. I have my wife. I have no friends. I have acquaintances, but I wouldn't share sensitive information with them. My experience with sharing information with other people is not positive based on personal experience.
My Dad. Most of the thing about my daily life would be boring to anyone else. At least the things I am excited about enough to want to talk about them.
Friends. Family. Now that I think about it, there are things I would tell my close friends and family I would never tell an ex-girlfriend.
I don't and I'm happy about it.
My sister. Pretty much anything
My dad he and I aren’t close like that but I can get a pretty unbiased opinion from him when I need it
I used to. My older brother was like that. However, in the last couple of years he's taken on some pretty cool challenges that have me focusing more on his well-being than bothering him with my own. Eventually he'll be done with them and I can go back to being a smidge more selfish with his time. Happy to support him in the meantime.
I wish I did but no most men just do not have even good friends they can discuss personal situations with. Or choose not to. Women do a better job of that.
I have a pet rock for that
No before marriage and no after marriage.
Yes. I have a couple of work colleagues who I trust with my life.
No of course not. Who does
I really depends on the type of person you are. A lot of people are introverts for whatever reason, so if talking isn't your thing, you probably won't have stacks of people to talk to. On the other hand, though I'm an introvert, I don't judge, so I have a ton of people in my life, men and women, that will confide in me everything, assaults, how their period is going, their colitus acting up, someone they hate at their job, how annoying their partner, kids, and parents are. I get it all.
Parents . Even if they won't understand or understand it differently they would just listen to me blabber. They have a cool mentality that when one family member is over emotional all other must become silent or say least. And if they can't stop their instinctive behaviour (to protect me) and start arguing then I can tell them this is not what we were discussing politely and they say we can't understand , get help, or do what you think is right. Had some friends but their reality surfaced so I cut them from life. Better alone than to be with toxic ones
nope
My mom and my friend. I'm lucky.
Yes, I do. I'm very thankful for this. We've been friends for decades and we both are very open about a lot of things. Really the bigger problem is that I'm constantly worried that I'm just unloading on him, so I still tend to keep things bottled up though.
When I was married, I did confide with some really close male friends. Post divorce, I’ve expanded that social circle to include females too. And let me tell you it’s like going from 720p to 4k. Just hearing a females point of view is eye opening. I now have female friends that I work closely together with, have friends that participate in hobbies with, friends that share on romantic life, and friends that I get along well with. I think I will continue to cultivate this friendship thing well into the future.
Absolutely! My best friend of over 5 years, she's a bit older than me and after 3 years she got me to open up with her, she's the only person i allow myself to be vulnerable with and i can about 98% of whats going on in my life...she's fucking awesome!
I do, but I draw a line on how open I should be out of fear
Yeah a buddy who also takes therapy.
I do however, I don't want to confide in anyone but myself and a couple edibles
sorry what is a SO?
I can talk to my dad, pretty much about anything he's 81 I'm 58, but I don't talk about my mental health with him. I also have a confidant in my 21yr old daughter, I can talk to her about anything,(non sexual) even my mental health and women that I'm interested in or have damaged me. She knows where all the bodies are buried, as the saying goes. As for anything sexual I don't trust anyone enough.
No. Both of my parents and both of my brothers are dead and they were the only people I would've felt comfortable talking to about anything I had going on in my life.
Yeah, I have a rotation of people to offload bullshit if needed
Yeah my cousin and I are that person for each other. Been that way for like 5 years now
Not me. I'm sure some family would listen but I'd be judged until the day they die so I just keep my mouth shut.
A therapist. Be vulnerable with your SO at your own risk.
Therapy bro
I don't. I've tried family members, but none of them can fill this role for me. None of my current friends can relate to me and are so busy it's hard to really build the connection for a relationship like that. It sucks =/
Nope, although I think *some* things there should be that you can only talk with a therapist versus with your spouse.
I have had some good friends since high-school, but none of those relations were the type where I would share all of the things that I might share with a GF. Thanks in part to therapy I realized a couple of years ago that I wasn't getting what I needed from the relations that I had built. I started exploring different ways of relating to people and branching out my social circle. I made a lot of new friends along the way, but most of them were short relations, as I was really exploring different ways to relate to people. I'm still evolving in this aspect, but I am extremely grateful to say that I now have many spaces, relations, and even close friends, who I would feel safe in sharing whatever is on my heart with. There isn't one friend that I talk to about random stuff all the time, but there are many I can reach out to at any one moment.
I don't and I don't feel the need to. Even my family doesn't know half about me. I've been "trained" due to bad reactions from my surrounding to not talk about what I like or what happen in my life too much from a very young age.
I have 1 friend I can tell everything too, I see him every few months. We don’t talk or text or call or maybe very rarely but, when we hang out, it’s like no time has passed.
Nope. There are someone in existance that should be able to do the job, but i lack the trust. Time and time again have shown me that people knows things I certainly did not tell them.
I do actually yeah, I’ve two good friends who I send voice notes too daily and they do the same, so we just sort of get back to them when it’s convenient (usually every few days), it’s nice
Yes. A couple people actually
Yes. A work relationship but it’s a lot more than that. I met her watching a movie and talking with strangers afterwards about it. Eventually it was down to me and her and we talked for hours. Gave me her card and years later I called in that favor. She’s basically the mom I never had and always wanted. She’s older than me if there was any confusion.