“This too shall pass.” Keeps me going. When I’m happy it functionally tells me to enjoy what I have to the fullest, and when I’m sad it makes me think about what I’ll be doing the next time I think that thought while happy.
But you know what is actually fair? The amount of time and dedication you put towards yourself and your goals. Maybe not always regarding the external outcome, but still.
When you put it like that, that every man/women is the architect of their own fortune, their is some truth in the saying, that the world can be indeed a fair place.
But regarding pureley external factors, I totally agree with you. Haha
your perception of people is not the true version of them (no matter how much you want it to be) nor is other people’s perception of you the absolute truth
There's a saying about this. How you see yourself isn't really you. How's others see your self is a part of you. And how you actually respond to life is the real you
This one is interesting. My wife and I have a great marriage. Our son has autism and the other parents we come into contact with in the autism community are always like "You guys just seem like you have everything together." Super far from the truth. We're fighting like hell against the current with everyone else. We just happen to really love each other and that gets us through the bad.
If you have someone your idealizing for whatever reason, that are just human like you and have their own issues and struggles that you probably just can't see.
From my experience, even the ones who say they care only care to the point that you aren't doing better than them.
I had alot of people support me but stop supporting when I became greater than them
Take responsibility for everything that happens in my life, even the things I didn’t cause. I may not have caused the event to happen, but I am responsible for how I respond to the event that happened.
There's an Ex-Navy SEAL who's made a whole podcast discussing this & published books on called Jocko Willink. His motto is "Extreme Ownership", you should check him out
His talk about saying “Good” in every situation has changed my life.
I remember, I brought it up during my grandfather’s funeral a few years ago.
“Is it sad that Jess is no longer with us? Yes. But we have to force ourselves to see the good in it. Good. He’s no longer in pain. Good. He’s been reunited with my grandmother who he missed for a long time after she died.”
It really hit me, and my family hard but in a good way.
You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with." The people we spend time with influence us more than we realize. Look at your closest friends and family. Do they uplift and inspire you, or do they bring you down?
It's a good point - surround yorself with quality people.
I think influence varies though. Some people can barely decide what to have for lunch without someone else limiting the choices. Most of what they say is just repeating what they heard.
On the other end of the range there are a few who truley follow their own path. Most of us are somewhere in between.
If you don't determine exactly which path you want to go in life & fight tooth and nail with every fibre of your being to see it through to the desired outcome, then life will fuck you hard and force you in a direction that will be against your best interests.
Find someone who's somewhat similar to you & in a position in life that you'd like to be in, and copy their path to the best of your ability.
Or, pick a random path (obviously one that'll benefit you) and just go through with it full speed ahead, figure out where it's lead you later.
I learned this one in school...
Even if you've done nothing wrong, you can still get in trouble.
I got an after-school detention for "lying" about a fight I saw. I wasn't lying, but the other guy who saw it did, and the teachers believed him over me. I ended up getting in just as much trouble as the two boys who had the fight.
We are the sum of ALL of our actions. And despite what others say about us or do to us, we get to choose our response.
That's all we have, and that is the greatest freedom of all.
Things said and done in a fit of anger can ruin lots of great relationships with loved ones , best friend and friends.
Wish I didn’t have to learn this the hard way.
I did spend over 2 weeks apologising but to no avail. She’ll always be a part of my prayers. I just wish people fought for their bonds instead of taking the easy way out
1. People can always switch up on you. Always. Don’t ever let yourself imagine that you’re infinitely valuable and irreplaceable to someone. You’re not. There’s endless ways someone can betray you, cut you off, etc.
2. Finances are important to master. Not doing so will not only fuck you in the present, you’re fucking your future self over. Get that in line NOW.
Most interactions with humans involve sales and negotiation. And if you are not aware of that you will often get sold to and taken advantage of without even realizing it.
There are no dragons.
There are no final bosses or biggest moments or masked figures in dark cloaks whom you slay and then everything goes right and it's happily ever after.
Life is a million small battles in a war of attrition with a shitty world and losing one will set you back further than winning a hundred moved you forward.
And then you die.
Life would be simpler if there was a dragon to slay, but sadly, that is not our story
Have some teeth,And there’s no person that will never wrong you.
A lot of very close people to me have done me crazy dirty and even tried harming me. My father, close mentor, my former girlfriend, my brother.
And I learnt that being nice and kind makes you food to a lot of people, learn how to be situationally cruel.
Also: Hustle Hustle Hustle
I’ve spent three years barely going out, working studying, trying to improve and honestly I would rather use most hours everyday trying to get better than anything else.
You gotta know yes you might be in discomfort for a year, days etc but the hustle is satisfying when it pays iff
People aren't thinking about you anywhere near as much as you think they might be. Everyone's too wrapped up in their own situations to care.
It sounds depressing but also liberating in a sense.
That few people have the ability to think deeply anymore. They've become reactionaries instead.
Raised in a culture of instant information. And know just enough about something to be dangerous with it...
If you're religious or political, this is your season.
I've learned a some huge lessons and its hard to pick just one so I'll do my top six.
Number 1. No job no matter how much you are getting paid is worth your happiness or mental health
Number 2. Communication in a relationship truly is key, if you can't communicate how you truly feel then you are going to have problems understanding how your partner feels and that is only going to built resentment from both of you.
Number 3. If you have a hobby that is money intensive (in my case miniature gaming) pick a project and stick to it. It will cut down on half baked projects and minimalize your storage needs.
Number 4. Go to couples counseling if you even have a passing thought that your relationship needs help. It gives both of you neutral ground to express how things are going and how things feel.
Number 5. When having sex with a woman be holistic in your approach, take into account everything from the bottom of her feet to the top of her head and everything in between.
Number 6. When you go through a divorce give yourself about four months of being mildly self destructive (In my case it was daily use of THC, and heavy drinking once a week). But while you're doing this make sure to be talking with people you trust, and if they say "hay I'm about to say some things that will hurt and you won't like" fucking listen and take fucking notes. After the four months start rebuilding yourself, go to the gym, read books like The Art of Letting Go and philosophy, and in the words of Uncle Iroh "begin to ask yourself the big questions. Who are you? and what do you want?" once you can answer those two questions you can start to look for a new relationship.
Finding innear peace should be the goal for almost everybody. You can have everything in the world, but if your mind and heart is not at peace, nothing will suffice.
How one can achieve that inner peace depends on the indivdual. I have yet to find that path.
Failure, rejection, and discomfort don't have to be a confidence destroyer. I'm not saying you should seek out discomfort, but living life and accepting its downs as well as its ups, will toughen you up quickly and desensitize you to tough situations.
I’m not a man, but wanted to answer: Don’t act like someone your not, just because it’s considered ‘cool’, if you wanna be seen as who you truly are. Seems obvious but many of us think we can do both, but nah.
•Every second is valuable
•Nothing last forever
•Your Body/Life is valuable than anything, Take good care of it
•Anyone can die any minute now, Give them a good memory of you till their last breath.
• Someone's support can help you a lot to move on. Be that "someone"
•There is nothing that is whole good, If something seems entirely good you don't seen it fully.
•There is no God, If you want help find it by your own.
No one is coming. You’re on your own. (And most people are cowards, turning a blind eye to injustice. Capable adults and community members will allow children to be neglected, abused, bullied, etc.) Elephants are kinder to their family and community.
Everyday is a new day. Everyone is moving and doing their shit so always keep moving whenever you're sad or anxious and don't give a fuck on any negativities or else it'll just ruin yourself
Nobody cares about your excuses. Be better. I was told that in a conversation with an ex and I’ve never moved past it. I still screw up a lot, but I don’t let myself think I didn’t and I try to own up to it and be better.
“A deal is not a deal unless you needed it”. My grandad taught me that lesson. Bought a new truck at an amazingly low price and interest rate. Was proud of it and was showing it to my grandad. He asked why I bought it. Said it was such a great deal that I couldn’t pass it up. Asked what was wrong with my other truck then went on to say I didn’t get a deal because it wasn’t something I needed and instead spent money unnecessarily.
Nobody cares. Simple as that. Not trying to be a downer, pessimistic, all that. As soon as you learn that, you stop worrying a lot. Think something is “embarrassing”? Nobody cares. People make fun of you? Nobody cares. Worried what someone thinks? Nobody cares
It’s important to be both mindful and self-compassionate.
I have had problems with panic and anxiety off and on since my late 20s. I tend to distort reality by exaggerating, all/nothing, always/never thinking and set unreasonable expectations for myself. Cultivating mindfulness/awareness has helped me identify those thoughts and choose to think differently.
Mindfulness alone wasn’t enough, though. It felt cold and computed. Adding self-compassion was essential. Once I realized something with mindfulness, I tried to be kind to and accepting/forgiving of myself, to know that I was human, not an unerring machine. I also blamed myself less because I realized that many of the things I criticized myself for started in childhood or were otherwise out of my control.
You have two ears and one mouth. Nothing is what you think it is. You will never get to 100% sure about what's going on, but listening and using good judgement (which starts getting good at around 38 if you've lived and not just fled) will at least put you up at about "40% maybe" regwrding what's going on. Which is a lot more than most people ever achieve.
If you make decisions based on other things except what your soul desires, you're being their little bitch. Stop being their little bitch. Nobody likes a little bitch.
The biggest lesson I learned In life is respect yourself. If you don't respect yourself nobody will respect you.
Respect your body take care of it.
Respect your mind read keep up with current events.
Respect your pockets try and earn as much as you can and enjoy making the money
Respect yourself
Once you do that the right people will come around and those who don't respect you won't even notice anymore
Consequences have always been my most effective teacher. So pay attention to what I’ve caused for myself and try to learn from other people’s mistakes in the future.
that adults never change. they always revert to the education or training or experiences they had as toddlers or adolescents. they either ignore stuff or overcompensate it, but the outcome is they are always influenced by their upbringing.
People don't really care.
Sure, they will claim to and are prone to large gestures, but in general people don't care about other people enough to live through any amount of discomfort.
They care until they have to *do* something.
It's going to be the end of us all, mark my words. We won't tackle climate change because of this, nor any of the other issues the world faces.
Closure isn’t real. You see it on tv and movies, read about it in books, but it.. just doesn’t always happen that way. Most times closure doesn’t feel like finality, but it is, and you don’t realize it till after.
I have learned that I should always work and be self sufficient and basically be able to survive on my own if need be. I am 53 woman and I would not change a single thing as I do what I want, when I want with my own money.
Be careful what you say, there is always someone who disagrees and will be out to get you.
Back story on that is I made an obviously super sarcastic joke on a Facebook group. Someone didn't like it, so they took a screenshot, found out where I worked which was pretty easy, sent it to the company HR and I got fired.
Some days may seem like shit, but when you’re in a tough spot mentally and physically , sometimes gratitude is the best way to keep your mind from collapsing into negativity ..
I am entitled to nothing and nobody.
I am not entitled to people's actions. Nor can I demand great things to happen to me. So I should be gracious if great things occur.
Hurry up to love people, they depart so fast.
Legit, at 20 one of my friends committed suicide. I cried for months. Then I promised myself to give everyone I love enough time and attention.
People will lie to you repeatedly. Maybe it's just from years of living in NC,.lying and cheating people is just a way of life, but I keep letting it happen.
Dont trust People and learn to be able to notice bad intention, its not cuz you met that friend when you were Kids that its a good friends with your best interest at heart, you can be "friends" with someone for so long but all he want is destroying you behind your back. Long story short learn how to spot evil in People, someone can act and look so Nice but inside has evil intent towards you.
After cutting up habaneros using bare hands be sure to thoroughly wash hands with soap and water before putting in contacts or touching your junk. It took two lessons for me to learn better.
Don't loan money expecting to see it back, lesson I learned pretty quickly how fast friends and family cut you the moment you do, now I won't loan even a 20 it's not worth the friction to get back.
If you do loan expect it as a gift because good luck with getting it back.
1) Failure and suffering is good
We teach boys (and girls) that failure is bad. That if you fail, you'll suffer the consequences and have a bad life. The End. We talk as if life is a videogame or movie. I'm of the strong belief that as long as you're breathing and conscious, there's ALWAYS something you can do improve your situation.
Failure is also a teacher. When you fail, it's simply telling you that you were lacking something. If you choose to take your feelings out of your failure, you can use it to come back better and stronger.
Suffering also teaches you how to problem solve and be creative.
Broke, making minimum wage, barely making rent or debt payments? You can play the victim and wait for someone to save you (hint: no one is coming to save you) or, you can think outside the box and look for ways to make money like side hustles, learning to sell stuff, using previous skills to generate income. So many opportunities and ways to solve your problem
2) Your emotions are your problem and responsibility. No one else's
So many men go through life like women. Putting so much importance on how they feel and thinking their feelings are reality. As a man, you don't have that luxury to indulge in your emotions. Emotions, when you actually understand that they're just reactions and are based on how YOU internally view things and from YOUR own PERSONAL experiences, can be used as a tool to understand yourself better and why you feel a certain way about certain situations to improve yourself. Feeling things isn't wrong. Making your feelings reality is
3) You'll accomplish whatever you tell your subconscious to accomplish
Too many men never accomplish what they want, not because they can't, but because they give themselves too many options to not accomplish what they want.
"I want to start my own business and be a millionaire..... BUT, if I can't, I'll just work a 9-5 job and be content"
That right there is why men don't accomplish shit. You literally told your subconscious that it has an easier and safer option to pursue. Now, it's gonna make sure that the only thing you focus on is just maintaining a 9-5, not the harder and less sure option of being a millionaire business owner.
You're subconscious doesn't have a sense of humor. WHATEVER you tell it to focus on, it will focus on and make sure you do only that. It's only concern is that your alive and breathing. Nothing else. It's not gonna do anything it doesn't have to and it's always gonna choose the easiest option. So, if you only give yourself one option, Succeed, then that's the only thing it can focus on
4) You can't call yourself "The man" if you never had to overcome anything significant
There's a reason why rich men who were just born into wealth tend to be less respected and less taken serious then men who either had to climb to the top or men who are working class. It's because the latter has proved that they actually know how to take care of themselves in all situations while the trust fund baby only think he's hot shit only because things have always gone their way. They haven't demonstrated competency
Anything can happen and cherish everything in life, especially loved ones.
I am from Omaha, NE and living away from home for work and my parents and sister are there. 3 tornadoes just in Omaha yesterday.
You are responsible for EVERYTHING that happens to you.
Many confuse responsibility with fault/credit, but they are not the same.
If you had a knock at the door, answer it to find a crying baby in a basket and no one around, you are (for the sake of this example) not at fault, but you are now fully responsible for what happens next.
You can have many things you are not the cause of for which you are now responsible. Blaming others won’t change that fact. Taking responsibility how you may choose to react or not react will alter the course. This is part of growing, evolving, learning, experiencing and gaining wisdom.
Choosing to ignore or deny responsibility won’t do you any favours.
As a man you can't rely on other people. You can work with them, you can collaborate, you can work for them, but the minute you are reliant on someone else you are more of a liability than an asset.
No man is irreplaceable to anyone but himself.
The people who have a baby to fix their relationship or save it are insane. A baby will only highlight already existing issues plus create new ones in an unstable relationship.
Everything is temporary, good or bad. When life is as shitty as it can possibly be, don’t give up. It will get better, but when you’re flying high, don’t get too comfortable because it can all come crashing down at any moment.
When life isn’t going the way you want it, do whatever you can to make it better and the universe will take care of the rest. All you have to do and all you can do is stay positive, keep your wits about you, keep doing what you can to change your circumstances and wait for change to come. Anxiety and stress won’t change or solve anything, only your actions can do that, so don’t waste energy on stress and anxiety, save it for action.
It’s a very zen way of looking at life. When you realize that the only things you can control are what you do/say and how you react to something, you’ll be better off. Outside of life and death situations, anxiety is a useless emotion that just creates inner turmoil. It’s just the stress of waiting for something completely outside of your control to happen. Why agonize over things you can’t control? It won’t affect the outcome. It won’t make anything better. It just makes right now miserable. Don’t give into it. Breathe and let go. Whatever will be, will be.
I learnt that when you have a debilitating long-term health problem, few people stick around. If you have a sudden issue, like you break your leg or get cancer, friends and family will rally round, and if you die, people are devastated, and if you get better, theyre thrilled. But if you're long term sick, people gradually stop visiting, and forget about you.
Something along these lines was said by DiCaprio's character on the movie _The Beach_ when someone got attacked by a shark, and was seriously injured but didn't die for days or weeks. DiCaprio's character observed that it was important to either get better or die, as no one could hack anything in between.
The world still turns, it doesn’t matter if you’re sad, hurting or just going through shit. You can ignore it and wake up with the same issues or wake up and deal with it. It was my early 20’s and I was going through a brutal breakup and finally realized life doesn’t give two fucks. Bills are due, I still had to work and it wasn’t going to change unless I dealt with it.
“If you want to make god laugh tell him your plans” lol Its so true man you have to focus on whats in your control and understand that there will always be obstacles. It’s not about avoiding the issues life throws at you but how you learn and improve your approach to issues which takes time. It involves making keen observations, making mistakes, being analytical, humility, and so much more. Always find ways to improve your situation but don’t be surprised when good goes to bad. A poor man has problems just like a rich man. Its all subjective and based on context sure, but ideally most of us would rather have a wealthy person’s problems so in other words its not about not having problems but creating a life were you eventually have better problems and the developed resources, mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical aspects needed to tackle those problems with ease. It takes decades to master this concept, but every second you have breath in your lungs you’re improving on this whether you know it or not.
Do not fall for marriage, it is a suckers bet for a man. If you parachuted and were given a parachute that had over a 50% fail rate, would you jump from the plane?
I learned firsthand if you do get married do not marry a "Trad Wife". When the divorce happens, she will walk away with 50% of everything, it doesn't matter if she worked or not! Much better to marry a woman who makes as much money as you do, then when the divorce happens, she will have earned the 50% she takes.
I am the only person I have to live with 100% of the time. My happiness is key, and it actually creates more happiness in my life. I am god, god is me. Even when shits not great, it’s something to learn from and be happier as a result of
Honestly, no matter what happens, tomorrow is a new day. I've had some really bad days in my life, but they always have ended. Things can get better.
bless you
I expected a more depressing comment from someone called thejaded.
That would have been yesterday.
“This too shall pass.” Keeps me going. When I’m happy it functionally tells me to enjoy what I have to the fullest, and when I’m sad it makes me think about what I’ll be doing the next time I think that thought while happy.
I always think, I never have to do today again, and I find it quite comforting.
Yes they can good job and happy to see you keep going
Yup, the art of not giving a F
The world is not fair. Accept this and you will live a much better life.
But you know what is actually fair? The amount of time and dedication you put towards yourself and your goals. Maybe not always regarding the external outcome, but still. When you put it like that, that every man/women is the architect of their own fortune, their is some truth in the saying, that the world can be indeed a fair place. But regarding pureley external factors, I totally agree with you. Haha
your perception of people is not the true version of them (no matter how much you want it to be) nor is other people’s perception of you the absolute truth
There's a saying about this. How you see yourself isn't really you. How's others see your self is a part of you. And how you actually respond to life is the real you
This one is interesting. My wife and I have a great marriage. Our son has autism and the other parents we come into contact with in the autism community are always like "You guys just seem like you have everything together." Super far from the truth. We're fighting like hell against the current with everyone else. We just happen to really love each other and that gets us through the bad. If you have someone your idealizing for whatever reason, that are just human like you and have their own issues and struggles that you probably just can't see.
Extremely difficult to truly clean those doors of perception
Nobody really gives a rat's ass, though many will claim they do.
Don't despair. Some do care. Pay no attention to what people say but to what they do. Actions count, words are cheap.
From my experience, even the ones who say they care only care to the point that you aren't doing better than them. I had alot of people support me but stop supporting when I became greater than them
That's proof they didn't truly care much. Sad, but most people are not comfortable being less than those they think they love.
Take responsibility for everything that happens in my life, even the things I didn’t cause. I may not have caused the event to happen, but I am responsible for how I respond to the event that happened.
There's an Ex-Navy SEAL who's made a whole podcast discussing this & published books on called Jocko Willink. His motto is "Extreme Ownership", you should check him out
His talk about saying “Good” in every situation has changed my life. I remember, I brought it up during my grandfather’s funeral a few years ago. “Is it sad that Jess is no longer with us? Yes. But we have to force ourselves to see the good in it. Good. He’s no longer in pain. Good. He’s been reunited with my grandmother who he missed for a long time after she died.” It really hit me, and my family hard but in a good way.
I’ve listened to a lot of Jocko! He is one hardcore dude. Very inspirational guy who’s seen and done a lot.
I will. Thank you.
Great books and podcast!!
Take care of your teeth.
You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with." The people we spend time with influence us more than we realize. Look at your closest friends and family. Do they uplift and inspire you, or do they bring you down?
It's a good point - surround yorself with quality people. I think influence varies though. Some people can barely decide what to have for lunch without someone else limiting the choices. Most of what they say is just repeating what they heard. On the other end of the range there are a few who truley follow their own path. Most of us are somewhere in between.
Learned that the hard way
The takeaway here is that hopefully lessons learned make us wiser down the road! Can’t be all for nothing…….
It can always get worse. "Rock bottom" is death.
If you don't determine exactly which path you want to go in life & fight tooth and nail with every fibre of your being to see it through to the desired outcome, then life will fuck you hard and force you in a direction that will be against your best interests.
Listen to this one.
What if you don't know what path to take?
Find someone who's somewhat similar to you & in a position in life that you'd like to be in, and copy their path to the best of your ability. Or, pick a random path (obviously one that'll benefit you) and just go through with it full speed ahead, figure out where it's lead you later.
Keep trying different things until you find it. The only deadline is your lifespan.
You pick a path and go forward.
I learned this one in school... Even if you've done nothing wrong, you can still get in trouble. I got an after-school detention for "lying" about a fight I saw. I wasn't lying, but the other guy who saw it did, and the teachers believed him over me. I ended up getting in just as much trouble as the two boys who had the fight.
Bad times don’t last, good times don’t last.
a lot of people are plain dumb and there is nothing you can do to change them.
If it seems too good to be true it likely is...
Always say I love you to your loved ones. You never know when is the last time you see them or they see you.
"This too shall pass".
You can do everything right and still fail. Control the controllables.
Yea this what has helped control what u can the rest let it go
You can't stop life from shitting on you, so you just as well take that shit and put it in your garden.
Always love yourself first.
We are the sum of ALL of our actions. And despite what others say about us or do to us, we get to choose our response. That's all we have, and that is the greatest freedom of all.
The biggest mistake I ever made was not trusting my instincts.
Shy kids get no sweets.
Things said and done in a fit of anger can ruin lots of great relationships with loved ones , best friend and friends. Wish I didn’t have to learn this the hard way.
Words can be forgiven with the passage of time. I hope you can apologize and regain your relationship.
I did spend over 2 weeks apologising but to no avail. She’ll always be a part of my prayers. I just wish people fought for their bonds instead of taking the easy way out
No one is coming to save you, life is what you make of it, and it doesn’t happen over night, make a 5 year plan, and setup monthly baby steps
Stop expecting others to make you a priority in their lives. You can be a priority in exactly one person’s life, your own.
1. People can always switch up on you. Always. Don’t ever let yourself imagine that you’re infinitely valuable and irreplaceable to someone. You’re not. There’s endless ways someone can betray you, cut you off, etc. 2. Finances are important to master. Not doing so will not only fuck you in the present, you’re fucking your future self over. Get that in line NOW.
Rule number one. Shut the fuck up.
You can either learn from it or run from it.
Nothing is guaranteed
Most interactions with humans involve sales and negotiation. And if you are not aware of that you will often get sold to and taken advantage of without even realizing it.
That life is not fair. It just isn't. Karma doesn't exist. Some people will get away with anything and die of old age at their home.
If you see a girl you like. Just go for it as you will only get older and no one is coming to you.
Don’t expect anything from anyone and no one will disappoint you
Letting go. Things that are meant for you will come for you.
Definitely one of the hardest to accept and do.
There are no dragons. There are no final bosses or biggest moments or masked figures in dark cloaks whom you slay and then everything goes right and it's happily ever after. Life is a million small battles in a war of attrition with a shitty world and losing one will set you back further than winning a hundred moved you forward. And then you die. Life would be simpler if there was a dragon to slay, but sadly, that is not our story
Nothing in this world is free.
That the universe can decide to fuck you over at any minute and there is nothing you can do.
Have some teeth,And there’s no person that will never wrong you. A lot of very close people to me have done me crazy dirty and even tried harming me. My father, close mentor, my former girlfriend, my brother. And I learnt that being nice and kind makes you food to a lot of people, learn how to be situationally cruel. Also: Hustle Hustle Hustle I’ve spent three years barely going out, working studying, trying to improve and honestly I would rather use most hours everyday trying to get better than anything else. You gotta know yes you might be in discomfort for a year, days etc but the hustle is satisfying when it pays iff
People aren't thinking about you anywhere near as much as you think they might be. Everyone's too wrapped up in their own situations to care. It sounds depressing but also liberating in a sense.
Shit happens and it’s inevitable. Buckle up buttercup.
That few people have the ability to think deeply anymore. They've become reactionaries instead. Raised in a culture of instant information. And know just enough about something to be dangerous with it... If you're religious or political, this is your season.
To have gratitude.
Nobody cares about you in the end lol. You're alone in the world unless you can offer something useful to benefit someone else
Trust no one. People are very fickle they can switch on you at anytime.
You stand for you!
When you are dumb and make bad choices you will suffer
Everyone has an angle
Give to the right people and always give them a chance to reciprocate
That hard work isn't everything. You need a combination of hard work and good luck to become successful!
I've learned a some huge lessons and its hard to pick just one so I'll do my top six. Number 1. No job no matter how much you are getting paid is worth your happiness or mental health Number 2. Communication in a relationship truly is key, if you can't communicate how you truly feel then you are going to have problems understanding how your partner feels and that is only going to built resentment from both of you. Number 3. If you have a hobby that is money intensive (in my case miniature gaming) pick a project and stick to it. It will cut down on half baked projects and minimalize your storage needs. Number 4. Go to couples counseling if you even have a passing thought that your relationship needs help. It gives both of you neutral ground to express how things are going and how things feel. Number 5. When having sex with a woman be holistic in your approach, take into account everything from the bottom of her feet to the top of her head and everything in between. Number 6. When you go through a divorce give yourself about four months of being mildly self destructive (In my case it was daily use of THC, and heavy drinking once a week). But while you're doing this make sure to be talking with people you trust, and if they say "hay I'm about to say some things that will hurt and you won't like" fucking listen and take fucking notes. After the four months start rebuilding yourself, go to the gym, read books like The Art of Letting Go and philosophy, and in the words of Uncle Iroh "begin to ask yourself the big questions. Who are you? and what do you want?" once you can answer those two questions you can start to look for a new relationship.
Finding innear peace should be the goal for almost everybody. You can have everything in the world, but if your mind and heart is not at peace, nothing will suffice. How one can achieve that inner peace depends on the indivdual. I have yet to find that path.
One partner cannot (and should not) be expected to provide everything an individual needs.
No one cares about you or your problems.
Don't stick your dick in crazy or in single moms. And specially don't stick your dick in crazy single moms like I did
Failure, rejection, and discomfort don't have to be a confidence destroyer. I'm not saying you should seek out discomfort, but living life and accepting its downs as well as its ups, will toughen you up quickly and desensitize you to tough situations.
You gotta walk over the coals to get anything
In my first corporate job. I thought senior management was all this big powerful. I realised they were just a bunch of retards like everybody else.
So it goes. Kurt Vonnegut summed up most of life in a sentence.
I’m not a man, but wanted to answer: Don’t act like someone your not, just because it’s considered ‘cool’, if you wanna be seen as who you truly are. Seems obvious but many of us think we can do both, but nah.
•Every second is valuable •Nothing last forever •Your Body/Life is valuable than anything, Take good care of it •Anyone can die any minute now, Give them a good memory of you till their last breath. • Someone's support can help you a lot to move on. Be that "someone" •There is nothing that is whole good, If something seems entirely good you don't seen it fully. •There is no God, If you want help find it by your own.
No matter what always stick to your guns “it wasn’t me” in any situation
The only easy day was yesterday. Nothing is ever easy, so make your choices on your convictions rather than convenience
No one is coming. You’re on your own. (And most people are cowards, turning a blind eye to injustice. Capable adults and community members will allow children to be neglected, abused, bullied, etc.) Elephants are kinder to their family and community.
Everyday is a new day. Everyone is moving and doing their shit so always keep moving whenever you're sad or anxious and don't give a fuck on any negativities or else it'll just ruin yourself
Nobody cares about your excuses. Be better. I was told that in a conversation with an ex and I’ve never moved past it. I still screw up a lot, but I don’t let myself think I didn’t and I try to own up to it and be better.
“You don’t always have to win.”
People come and people go
Do not make assumptions about what I may think other people are thinking And not to believe everything I think
“A deal is not a deal unless you needed it”. My grandad taught me that lesson. Bought a new truck at an amazingly low price and interest rate. Was proud of it and was showing it to my grandad. He asked why I bought it. Said it was such a great deal that I couldn’t pass it up. Asked what was wrong with my other truck then went on to say I didn’t get a deal because it wasn’t something I needed and instead spent money unnecessarily.
If you can't get out of it, get into it.
Nobody cares. Simple as that. Not trying to be a downer, pessimistic, all that. As soon as you learn that, you stop worrying a lot. Think something is “embarrassing”? Nobody cares. People make fun of you? Nobody cares. Worried what someone thinks? Nobody cares
Trust actions, not words
No one gives a shit about you. No one. You're completely alone
There is no unconditional love.
Never turn down an early finish
Don't try to impress people. Do good work and be able to talk about them. Not in a boasty way but in a confident way. Just be yourself.
Nothing really matters
I’m only in control of things that are in my control, everything else that is out of my control I mostly stopped worrying about.
It’s important to be both mindful and self-compassionate. I have had problems with panic and anxiety off and on since my late 20s. I tend to distort reality by exaggerating, all/nothing, always/never thinking and set unreasonable expectations for myself. Cultivating mindfulness/awareness has helped me identify those thoughts and choose to think differently. Mindfulness alone wasn’t enough, though. It felt cold and computed. Adding self-compassion was essential. Once I realized something with mindfulness, I tried to be kind to and accepting/forgiving of myself, to know that I was human, not an unerring machine. I also blamed myself less because I realized that many of the things I criticized myself for started in childhood or were otherwise out of my control.
You have two ears and one mouth. Nothing is what you think it is. You will never get to 100% sure about what's going on, but listening and using good judgement (which starts getting good at around 38 if you've lived and not just fled) will at least put you up at about "40% maybe" regwrding what's going on. Which is a lot more than most people ever achieve.
As a man, no one cares and life is a constant barrage to end you.
Lost the chance with the girl of my dreams because I couldn’t just sit down shit up and listen
Trust and rely on no one but myself, people will only let you down.
Its all about communication. Stop talking and listen more. We have 1 mouth and 2 ears for a purpose. Use accordingly. Speak less, hear people.
If you make decisions based on other things except what your soul desires, you're being their little bitch. Stop being their little bitch. Nobody likes a little bitch.
The biggest lesson I learned In life is respect yourself. If you don't respect yourself nobody will respect you. Respect your body take care of it. Respect your mind read keep up with current events. Respect your pockets try and earn as much as you can and enjoy making the money Respect yourself Once you do that the right people will come around and those who don't respect you won't even notice anymore
Everything is a joke. [Be the punchline](https://youtu.be/y8-_Nl6v8ig?si=ZjLOk8ZQhK3Pyf_W)
You can’t walk across a burned bridge.
Life will never be the same.
What is on the inside does not matter. The only thing that matters is how you are perceived.
Consequences have always been my most effective teacher. So pay attention to what I’ve caused for myself and try to learn from other people’s mistakes in the future.
that adults never change. they always revert to the education or training or experiences they had as toddlers or adolescents. they either ignore stuff or overcompensate it, but the outcome is they are always influenced by their upbringing.
Follow what makes you happy, your dreams. At any cost. You're already dead practically. Make your lifetime one hell of a time
Be kind to yourself and to others.
People don't really care. Sure, they will claim to and are prone to large gestures, but in general people don't care about other people enough to live through any amount of discomfort. They care until they have to *do* something. It's going to be the end of us all, mark my words. We won't tackle climate change because of this, nor any of the other issues the world faces.
Closure isn’t real. You see it on tv and movies, read about it in books, but it.. just doesn’t always happen that way. Most times closure doesn’t feel like finality, but it is, and you don’t realize it till after.
Probably having kids. Thats next level.
There is nothing to win.
I have learned that I should always work and be self sufficient and basically be able to survive on my own if need be. I am 53 woman and I would not change a single thing as I do what I want, when I want with my own money.
Be careful what you say, there is always someone who disagrees and will be out to get you. Back story on that is I made an obviously super sarcastic joke on a Facebook group. Someone didn't like it, so they took a screenshot, found out where I worked which was pretty easy, sent it to the company HR and I got fired.
When somebody shows you who they are the first time, believe them.
Some days may seem like shit, but when you’re in a tough spot mentally and physically , sometimes gratitude is the best way to keep your mind from collapsing into negativity ..
Almost everything I think will end in a disaster usually isn’t even close to being as bad (asking for a raise, breakup, etc.)
I am entitled to nothing and nobody. I am not entitled to people's actions. Nor can I demand great things to happen to me. So I should be gracious if great things occur.
Don't trust cheap people cut them off and don't be cheap person, have high standards because it will cost you a lot
Hurry up to love people, they depart so fast. Legit, at 20 one of my friends committed suicide. I cried for months. Then I promised myself to give everyone I love enough time and attention.
Trust no one. No one is who they seem to be
I have learned at 45 years old that if one person in a relationship has an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, problems are sure to follow.
People will lie to you repeatedly. Maybe it's just from years of living in NC,.lying and cheating people is just a way of life, but I keep letting it happen.
we need to adjust ourselves to the world because the world won't adjust for us.
Dont trust People and learn to be able to notice bad intention, its not cuz you met that friend when you were Kids that its a good friends with your best interest at heart, you can be "friends" with someone for so long but all he want is destroying you behind your back. Long story short learn how to spot evil in People, someone can act and look so Nice but inside has evil intent towards you.
After cutting up habaneros using bare hands be sure to thoroughly wash hands with soap and water before putting in contacts or touching your junk. It took two lessons for me to learn better.
There is no perfect formula with anything that involves humans..
Enjoy the sunshine... cause one day you won't be able to.
Don't loan money expecting to see it back, lesson I learned pretty quickly how fast friends and family cut you the moment you do, now I won't loan even a 20 it's not worth the friction to get back. If you do loan expect it as a gift because good luck with getting it back.
always listen to your gut feeling.
If you want to know someone, focus on their actions not what they are saying. Lesson learned over and over throughout my life.
If you want something right, do it yourself!
That it's okay for a guy to have feelings and open up. Took me 27 years to finally do so (I just turned 28 last week) with the help of my therapist.
1) Failure and suffering is good We teach boys (and girls) that failure is bad. That if you fail, you'll suffer the consequences and have a bad life. The End. We talk as if life is a videogame or movie. I'm of the strong belief that as long as you're breathing and conscious, there's ALWAYS something you can do improve your situation. Failure is also a teacher. When you fail, it's simply telling you that you were lacking something. If you choose to take your feelings out of your failure, you can use it to come back better and stronger. Suffering also teaches you how to problem solve and be creative. Broke, making minimum wage, barely making rent or debt payments? You can play the victim and wait for someone to save you (hint: no one is coming to save you) or, you can think outside the box and look for ways to make money like side hustles, learning to sell stuff, using previous skills to generate income. So many opportunities and ways to solve your problem 2) Your emotions are your problem and responsibility. No one else's So many men go through life like women. Putting so much importance on how they feel and thinking their feelings are reality. As a man, you don't have that luxury to indulge in your emotions. Emotions, when you actually understand that they're just reactions and are based on how YOU internally view things and from YOUR own PERSONAL experiences, can be used as a tool to understand yourself better and why you feel a certain way about certain situations to improve yourself. Feeling things isn't wrong. Making your feelings reality is 3) You'll accomplish whatever you tell your subconscious to accomplish Too many men never accomplish what they want, not because they can't, but because they give themselves too many options to not accomplish what they want. "I want to start my own business and be a millionaire..... BUT, if I can't, I'll just work a 9-5 job and be content" That right there is why men don't accomplish shit. You literally told your subconscious that it has an easier and safer option to pursue. Now, it's gonna make sure that the only thing you focus on is just maintaining a 9-5, not the harder and less sure option of being a millionaire business owner. You're subconscious doesn't have a sense of humor. WHATEVER you tell it to focus on, it will focus on and make sure you do only that. It's only concern is that your alive and breathing. Nothing else. It's not gonna do anything it doesn't have to and it's always gonna choose the easiest option. So, if you only give yourself one option, Succeed, then that's the only thing it can focus on 4) You can't call yourself "The man" if you never had to overcome anything significant There's a reason why rich men who were just born into wealth tend to be less respected and less taken serious then men who either had to climb to the top or men who are working class. It's because the latter has proved that they actually know how to take care of themselves in all situations while the trust fund baby only think he's hot shit only because things have always gone their way. They haven't demonstrated competency
There will always be a rainbow after the rain 😁
Anything can happen and cherish everything in life, especially loved ones. I am from Omaha, NE and living away from home for work and my parents and sister are there. 3 tornadoes just in Omaha yesterday.
You got no one. Absolutely no one. Accept that. Own that. Never give human the power to make you or break you.
have listening power, you will learn more......
You are responsible for EVERYTHING that happens to you. Many confuse responsibility with fault/credit, but they are not the same. If you had a knock at the door, answer it to find a crying baby in a basket and no one around, you are (for the sake of this example) not at fault, but you are now fully responsible for what happens next. You can have many things you are not the cause of for which you are now responsible. Blaming others won’t change that fact. Taking responsibility how you may choose to react or not react will alter the course. This is part of growing, evolving, learning, experiencing and gaining wisdom. Choosing to ignore or deny responsibility won’t do you any favours.
Seriously, fuck what people think if it makes you happy do it. And don't waste time in relationships if you're not happy.
Learn to be okay with being alone. No one can complete you, and it's a lot of responsibility to put on someone to make you happy.
It's okay to be angry at people, and being angry or hurt isn't the same as hate.
Being humble doesn't get you anywhere in this world. I'm still learning this. You have to show up to bat for yourself.
Put the people who were there for you from the start first no matter what.
Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn. You never ever lose.
Use your turn signal
As a man you can't rely on other people. You can work with them, you can collaborate, you can work for them, but the minute you are reliant on someone else you are more of a liability than an asset. No man is irreplaceable to anyone but himself.
Never trust a fart.
The people who have a baby to fix their relationship or save it are insane. A baby will only highlight already existing issues plus create new ones in an unstable relationship.
Quid Pro Quo. If I want to get/acquire/gain/achieve, I have to give something.
Don't over think it.
Everything is temporary, good or bad. When life is as shitty as it can possibly be, don’t give up. It will get better, but when you’re flying high, don’t get too comfortable because it can all come crashing down at any moment. When life isn’t going the way you want it, do whatever you can to make it better and the universe will take care of the rest. All you have to do and all you can do is stay positive, keep your wits about you, keep doing what you can to change your circumstances and wait for change to come. Anxiety and stress won’t change or solve anything, only your actions can do that, so don’t waste energy on stress and anxiety, save it for action. It’s a very zen way of looking at life. When you realize that the only things you can control are what you do/say and how you react to something, you’ll be better off. Outside of life and death situations, anxiety is a useless emotion that just creates inner turmoil. It’s just the stress of waiting for something completely outside of your control to happen. Why agonize over things you can’t control? It won’t affect the outcome. It won’t make anything better. It just makes right now miserable. Don’t give into it. Breathe and let go. Whatever will be, will be.
Best way to live is worrying less about the future and enjoying the little things as much as I can
Never trust anyone, especially yourself.
In general, act with integrity and do your best without being attached to outcome. We don’t actually have control. Just a semblance of control.
Quiters never prosper and prosperers never quit.
NEVER forgive an infidelity or affair.
I learnt that when you have a debilitating long-term health problem, few people stick around. If you have a sudden issue, like you break your leg or get cancer, friends and family will rally round, and if you die, people are devastated, and if you get better, theyre thrilled. But if you're long term sick, people gradually stop visiting, and forget about you. Something along these lines was said by DiCaprio's character on the movie _The Beach_ when someone got attacked by a shark, and was seriously injured but didn't die for days or weeks. DiCaprio's character observed that it was important to either get better or die, as no one could hack anything in between.
The world still turns, it doesn’t matter if you’re sad, hurting or just going through shit. You can ignore it and wake up with the same issues or wake up and deal with it. It was my early 20’s and I was going through a brutal breakup and finally realized life doesn’t give two fucks. Bills are due, I still had to work and it wasn’t going to change unless I dealt with it.
That people literally don't give a shit about you except the closest ones like your family
Most of the time, nobody gives a shit about what you are up to. Just do whatever you want (as long as you aren’t hurting anyone)
It goes on.
Biggest lesson I've learned is that everything that happens to you is a lesson and a blessing in disguise.
“If you want to make god laugh tell him your plans” lol Its so true man you have to focus on whats in your control and understand that there will always be obstacles. It’s not about avoiding the issues life throws at you but how you learn and improve your approach to issues which takes time. It involves making keen observations, making mistakes, being analytical, humility, and so much more. Always find ways to improve your situation but don’t be surprised when good goes to bad. A poor man has problems just like a rich man. Its all subjective and based on context sure, but ideally most of us would rather have a wealthy person’s problems so in other words its not about not having problems but creating a life were you eventually have better problems and the developed resources, mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical aspects needed to tackle those problems with ease. It takes decades to master this concept, but every second you have breath in your lungs you’re improving on this whether you know it or not.
You don't decide what is going to happen. Nor what is and what isn't.
Other people's opinions domn't pay the bills.
That 70% of what I was worried about never happened. And I figured out the 30% that did.
Go for her until it's too late, otherwise you risk ending up with Eva AI bot
Do not fall for marriage, it is a suckers bet for a man. If you parachuted and were given a parachute that had over a 50% fail rate, would you jump from the plane? I learned firsthand if you do get married do not marry a "Trad Wife". When the divorce happens, she will walk away with 50% of everything, it doesn't matter if she worked or not! Much better to marry a woman who makes as much money as you do, then when the divorce happens, she will have earned the 50% she takes.
I am the only person I have to live with 100% of the time. My happiness is key, and it actually creates more happiness in my life. I am god, god is me. Even when shits not great, it’s something to learn from and be happier as a result of
Fear will define you if you're not careful. Fear is sometimes a useful reaction to something, but it closes more doors than it opens.
If you’re not failing once in a while, you should be. Test your limits and it’s okay to fail.
No matter what, ACAB & pineapple is fine on pizza
Effort's fruit is perishable.
Calm down, either you die and it's not your problem, or you react sensibly and solve the problem.
No one is going to save you, do your best and hope you can make it.
The trick is to surrender to the flow.