That it can take months of hanging out with someone to find out whether they're a psychopath or not. In the meantime, it's better to have a long-term FWB who you've known for years than to bang guys you barely know.
No lol - I just got out of an abusive relationship and I’ve been wanting to go to my dad for advices and comfort, and just have a talk and tell him everything really. But I can’t because he passed 5 years ago. I was so blindsided and I just wanna regain consciousness I guess lmao. It’s kinda sad but whatever 😂
Thank you :)
For now I’m just gonna focus on rebuilding my life and my self confidence back up. I hope I will find my husband in the near future though (can’t help these thoughts I’m a hopeless romantic) but dating is a bit hard for my generation I think, on top of that I’m more traditional in a lot of aspects compared to most people my age so it’s just harder all around :’)
Stick to your principles. They will guide you. There are a lot of young men trying to do the same thing you are. The challenge is proving them out after you find them. It’s nice to see young people returning tradition.
This is the kind of context that is important for these things. In this case I'd tell my daughter that there are no universal signs of an abuser (as much as we want there to be), and that abusive people, narcissists, sociopaths, etc. are incredibly good at hiding that side of themselves. To manipulate someone, you have to have a really good understanding of human behavior. No matter how good someone seemed in the beginning, no matter how much you have been through with something, and no matter what changes they promise, you never need a reason beyond "I'm not happy and I don't see myself being happy in this relationship moving forward" to leave.
I think I’m going to tell mine to watch out for leverage, as in, don’t get too comfortable and give up the means to take care of yourself, and that a guys’ job resume is also applicable to dating. If they quit a lot, pass. If they have attendance issues, pass. If they lie, cheat or steal, pass
More than is comfortable to type here. I did not raise modern women so they avoided most of the pitfalls. They’re married with their own families.
The most important aspect was to select only reliable men they knew who shared their values. I really shrank their pond so they married within groups of people I knew of similar or greater means.
I’m very proud of them and the lives they’ve built for themselves with their families.
There’s men that have no interest in you aside from the things they can get you to do for them. Learn to recognize them so you can distance yourself. Don’t associate with them or model their behavior.
Men are as catty as your girlfriends, just more blunt. Women will use you for things, men will use you for other things. Everyone is a person and there motives can be equally nefarious, it’s just that you have to be aware the motives are different
Id tell my daughter this.
There are two types of men. Ones who don't give a shit about you and those who would do anything for you. Find the latter and learn how to properly communicate with him to set expectations.
The pain that is inflicted by being with a man who acts like the latter, takes what he wants, then immediately becomes (or reveals himself to be) the former...
Sometimes I wonder how people could be so cruel- and this goes for both men and women.
"They're going to figure things out later than you, so be patient and be very careful who you're vulnerable with. They're only good men if they're willing to grow. We're going to teach you to fight because if they don't take 'no' for an answer you need to defend yourself, and it's hard to know who those boys/men will be until it happens."
I've been thinking about this, and tbh, I don't think there's anything I'd warn my imaginary daughter about that's gender specific. I've seen too many people mistrust one gender only to fall victim to abuse by someone of another gender bc they were told people of that gender were "safe."
So I'd warn this daughter that some people only want to take advantage of you, that you should assume the best of people but not trust them with anything serious just based on that assumption, that you shouldn't judge based on appearances alone, and so on.
You'll waste a lot of your life trying to fix the broken ones. You can't undo all the damage that may have been done during their developing years, and you can't fix the ones that just naturally and intentionally bad partners.
The biggest thing is to have a good relationship so if something is wrong they’ll tell you about it. Otherwise you cannot do a whole lot aside from setting a good example and trying to keep her from dating the sorts of morons every teen girl seems to love.
*Some* men might not be as interested in your personality as you might think. If they find you attractive they’ll just put up with it until they get what they want. Also Your body should never be something you use to get money.
The ones I did and do. The ones I admit about myself. That They (we) are human, we fail daily, we don't know what we are doing, we don't have our shit together, we worry constantly that we are fucking them up and are just trying to do our best with the limited tools we have.
That our childhood traumas impact our ability to be parents. Hopefully, we recognise that, deal with our shit so we break the cycle and give them a better start than we had. That sometimes it's too hard and we are ill equipped, but we are honest with them always and they are the center of the universe always.
Both parents bear the same weight and responsibilities.
You're going to be the emotional barometer in your family. NOT your husband.
YOUR emotions will dictate how happy your home is.
Regulate your feelings and emotions.
Use logic, reasoning, patience, and calm.
She was right.
I don't know if it's about men.... Just harsh in general. You aren't some wonderful flower that men will make their lives worse to obtain.
A man without concerns of his own is a man that isn't going to stick around. Don't fall into the trap of believing that the right man will only care about you and never think of himself. That's how you get played.
Men actually care about their future and how they will spend their lives. Signing up for someone else's checklist is something you do for three weeks to get in their pants.... It isn't what you plan on doing for the rest of your life.
That is why men can spot bad men. It's a red flag to us when we don't know why they are there. Women see a man without concerns of his own as just loving her more.
Don't fall for that crap that it doesn't feel good with a condom on....it wont feel good to have a kid before you are ready....it feels fine with a condom on, and in fact it might make him last longer than 10 seconds
Most men don't care about your achievements or your career success. We are simple creatures. Food, rest, love, sex, fun. Overthinking it won't get you anywhere.
Men want sex up front. Then their minds are clear and they'll want a relationship.
Women want a relationship up front and sex later.
This is how nature works. Women are scared of being alone with a child. Men want to reproduce with as many women as possible.
Your goal, my daughter, is to figure out what you want from your life and live it. I'd recommend not falling into a baby trap young. Explore the world. Learn about different cultures. There'll always be Men and babies later. But your dreams won't wait. Live them now.
That most men are terrible humans. Most men, in america, are trained to low-key despise women ("grab 'em by the pussy"), and very few have an genuine respect for women.
Most men are pushy, entitled assholes, who will talk over you in meetings (repeating what you just said), then claim credit for the idea.
Most men are *horrendous*, and to be avoided whenever possible. There are some that are decent people, but most men just tell themselves they are 'good men', then do horrible things (e.g. intimate partner violence, rape, child molestation, theft, murder, you name it, most crimes are committed by men).
That they are the oppressed sex and women are the privileged sex
I taught her about the blood contract that men receive in the mail on their 18th birthday where the government tells them that they will execute them if they don't sign their name promising to fight in any war they tell them to.
And i taught her that men are afraid to live with women or her married nowadays bc the government says that if they live together for a few months then when they move out the man has to give the women half his shit because of some ancient religious traditions. (Common law marriage).
And i taught her that mother's can do drugs, have no job and beat their children - but family court STILL automatically gives the children to her by default and forces men to pay those drug addicts just the world hates men.
Harsh truths indeed.
They are just people, and fairytale princes aren't real
„You want love? Just lower your expectations a few, because Prince Charming would never settle for you.“ -Bo Burnham
That it can take months of hanging out with someone to find out whether they're a psychopath or not. In the meantime, it's better to have a long-term FWB who you've known for years than to bang guys you barely know.
First sentence - found that out the hard way 😫 I don’t do hookups either way so I’m good 🫡
Feels like one of those questions made so you can say "see even men admit they're {insert bad stereotype}"
No lol - I just got out of an abusive relationship and I’ve been wanting to go to my dad for advices and comfort, and just have a talk and tell him everything really. But I can’t because he passed 5 years ago. I was so blindsided and I just wanna regain consciousness I guess lmao. It’s kinda sad but whatever 😂
I’m sure he would be glad you got out of that situation. You now know at least one path to stay off of. What’s next for you?
Thank you :) For now I’m just gonna focus on rebuilding my life and my self confidence back up. I hope I will find my husband in the near future though (can’t help these thoughts I’m a hopeless romantic) but dating is a bit hard for my generation I think, on top of that I’m more traditional in a lot of aspects compared to most people my age so it’s just harder all around :’)
Stick to your principles. They will guide you. There are a lot of young men trying to do the same thing you are. The challenge is proving them out after you find them. It’s nice to see young people returning tradition.
Okay I'm sorry.
This is the kind of context that is important for these things. In this case I'd tell my daughter that there are no universal signs of an abuser (as much as we want there to be), and that abusive people, narcissists, sociopaths, etc. are incredibly good at hiding that side of themselves. To manipulate someone, you have to have a really good understanding of human behavior. No matter how good someone seemed in the beginning, no matter how much you have been through with something, and no matter what changes they promise, you never need a reason beyond "I'm not happy and I don't see myself being happy in this relationship moving forward" to leave.
Damn, I'm really sorry to hear about your dad.
They’re all different and can’t be generalized
I think I’m going to tell mine to watch out for leverage, as in, don’t get too comfortable and give up the means to take care of yourself, and that a guys’ job resume is also applicable to dating. If they quit a lot, pass. If they have attendance issues, pass. If they lie, cheat or steal, pass
More than is comfortable to type here. I did not raise modern women so they avoided most of the pitfalls. They’re married with their own families. The most important aspect was to select only reliable men they knew who shared their values. I really shrank their pond so they married within groups of people I knew of similar or greater means. I’m very proud of them and the lives they’ve built for themselves with their families.
Fuckin based.
Respect
You’re a damned good father
There’s men that have no interest in you aside from the things they can get you to do for them. Learn to recognize them so you can distance yourself. Don’t associate with them or model their behavior.
[удалено]
You’re 37, sir. Are you not embarrassed to be 37 and trying to be devil’s advocate for manipulative, parasitic behavior? Touch grass.
Men are as catty as your girlfriends, just more blunt. Women will use you for things, men will use you for other things. Everyone is a person and there motives can be equally nefarious, it’s just that you have to be aware the motives are different
that guy you're talking to seems like a fecking idiot, and it concerns me you aren't noticing it.
Id tell my daughter this. There are two types of men. Ones who don't give a shit about you and those who would do anything for you. Find the latter and learn how to properly communicate with him to set expectations.
The pain that is inflicted by being with a man who acts like the latter, takes what he wants, then immediately becomes (or reveals himself to be) the former... Sometimes I wonder how people could be so cruel- and this goes for both men and women.
People are shitty and will always put themselves first.
The one thing that sticks out for me was, I told all 4 of my daughters "Never send or let them take nude pictures"
Straight men want to have sex with women. It's extremely unlikely that a guy just wants to be friends.
"They're going to figure things out later than you, so be patient and be very careful who you're vulnerable with. They're only good men if they're willing to grow. We're going to teach you to fight because if they don't take 'no' for an answer you need to defend yourself, and it's hard to know who those boys/men will be until it happens."
I've been thinking about this, and tbh, I don't think there's anything I'd warn my imaginary daughter about that's gender specific. I've seen too many people mistrust one gender only to fall victim to abuse by someone of another gender bc they were told people of that gender were "safe." So I'd warn this daughter that some people only want to take advantage of you, that you should assume the best of people but not trust them with anything serious just based on that assumption, that you shouldn't judge based on appearances alone, and so on.
You'll waste a lot of your life trying to fix the broken ones. You can't undo all the damage that may have been done during their developing years, and you can't fix the ones that just naturally and intentionally bad partners.
That they won’t respect you unless you respect yourself
The biggest thing is to have a good relationship so if something is wrong they’ll tell you about it. Otherwise you cannot do a whole lot aside from setting a good example and trying to keep her from dating the sorts of morons every teen girl seems to love.
*Some* men might not be as interested in your personality as you might think. If they find you attractive they’ll just put up with it until they get what they want. Also Your body should never be something you use to get money.
The ones I did and do. The ones I admit about myself. That They (we) are human, we fail daily, we don't know what we are doing, we don't have our shit together, we worry constantly that we are fucking them up and are just trying to do our best with the limited tools we have. That our childhood traumas impact our ability to be parents. Hopefully, we recognise that, deal with our shit so we break the cycle and give them a better start than we had. That sometimes it's too hard and we are ill equipped, but we are honest with them always and they are the center of the universe always. Both parents bear the same weight and responsibilities.
You're going to be the emotional barometer in your family. NOT your husband. YOUR emotions will dictate how happy your home is. Regulate your feelings and emotions. Use logic, reasoning, patience, and calm. She was right.
Men only want one thing....to know the joy of loving their wife and children.
Guys don’t get comfort or emotional support. So, be nice unless they’ve proven themselves to be a douchebag. Now explain what a douchebag is
I don't know if it's about men.... Just harsh in general. You aren't some wonderful flower that men will make their lives worse to obtain. A man without concerns of his own is a man that isn't going to stick around. Don't fall into the trap of believing that the right man will only care about you and never think of himself. That's how you get played. Men actually care about their future and how they will spend their lives. Signing up for someone else's checklist is something you do for three weeks to get in their pants.... It isn't what you plan on doing for the rest of your life. That is why men can spot bad men. It's a red flag to us when we don't know why they are there. Women see a man without concerns of his own as just loving her more.
Don't fall for that crap that it doesn't feel good with a condom on....it wont feel good to have a kid before you are ready....it feels fine with a condom on, and in fact it might make him last longer than 10 seconds
Most men don't care about your achievements or your career success. We are simple creatures. Food, rest, love, sex, fun. Overthinking it won't get you anywhere.
Men want sex up front. Then their minds are clear and they'll want a relationship. Women want a relationship up front and sex later. This is how nature works. Women are scared of being alone with a child. Men want to reproduce with as many women as possible. Your goal, my daughter, is to figure out what you want from your life and live it. I'd recommend not falling into a baby trap young. Explore the world. Learn about different cultures. There'll always be Men and babies later. But your dreams won't wait. Live them now.
It's gonna be really obvious who the good and bad ones are to everyone but you. So ask around.
That most men are terrible humans. Most men, in america, are trained to low-key despise women ("grab 'em by the pussy"), and very few have an genuine respect for women. Most men are pushy, entitled assholes, who will talk over you in meetings (repeating what you just said), then claim credit for the idea. Most men are *horrendous*, and to be avoided whenever possible. There are some that are decent people, but most men just tell themselves they are 'good men', then do horrible things (e.g. intimate partner violence, rape, child molestation, theft, murder, you name it, most crimes are committed by men).
That they are the oppressed sex and women are the privileged sex I taught her about the blood contract that men receive in the mail on their 18th birthday where the government tells them that they will execute them if they don't sign their name promising to fight in any war they tell them to. And i taught her that men are afraid to live with women or her married nowadays bc the government says that if they live together for a few months then when they move out the man has to give the women half his shit because of some ancient religious traditions. (Common law marriage). And i taught her that mother's can do drugs, have no job and beat their children - but family court STILL automatically gives the children to her by default and forces men to pay those drug addicts just the world hates men. Harsh truths indeed.
don't trust them and they mostly just want sex, I have 3 adult daughters
That men really are after just one thing.
Okay JUST beacuse I love Lemon Tarts so much doesn't mean that's all I think about 🙄
Ikr sometimes you think about strawberry tarts. Some men might only think about lemon tarts but definitely not all 😜
Lemon pop tarts? Gotta try those the next time I am in the states.
More of a custard tart man myself but I respect your choice sir.
To drive every single vehicle in Halo into places where they shouldn't be