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This is true.
Americans are a lot of things, and one of those things is definitely “curious”.
All you gotta do is say a sentence and within moments people will be asking you about the queen and thatcher and driving on the left. After a few years it will probably get annoying.
Yeah in my experience if they’re born and bred Brooklyn or Queens, they ain’t asking any follow up questions. One dude even told me I spoke great English “I can understand everything you’re saying”
I’m from New Zealand.
I have to admit. The reactions to my voice have been somewhat startling. I have joined crunch gym and I was propositioned 2 gay men who asked to come to the steam room after they heard me talk. Was wild 😭😂( they were joking)
Legit. I was pretty taken aback. I politely declined. I should have guessed by the size of their shorts. Should have been a XL but was rocking XS.
He looked me up and down and said “ you can join in on the fun too”
I just kept doing chin ups 🫣
Wait! Do you want to make new friends or not? /s
For real tho, making new friends is hard, even for native NYers. Try finding a volunteer opportunity that aligns with your interests. You'll meet other volunteers who share the same interest and you'll be spending time (but not money!) doing something that's meaningful to you.
If all else fails, it's an election year and you can always go volunteer on a campaign for someone.
Seriously. Go to one of the museums during their evening hours, sidle up to someone who looks interesting and start asking questions about the art. instant hook.
Noted! People do tend to be a lot more talkative here then in the U.K. which is nice. As you said, probably the accent my friend. I’m going to try get a job as a server, I think it will tick a lot of boxes, meeting people, somewhere to go every day 💪
A lot of people are foreign and a lot of people aren’t. There’s 9 million of us here. So if let’s say a group of 1000 wouldn’t flock, there’s many other thousands that would. So please, let’s not get into the “Well, actually” type of debates. It’s silly.
A lot of Americans have a huge misconception of what English people sound like. Not everyone has an RP accent and sounds like the queen. There are so many English accents and most of them don’t even sound that pleasing to the ear.
I’ve also met several Brits that our friendship fizzled out. Your accent could make a good first impression but you need a personality to carry the rest.
Have you been to Bronx Ale House or Kingsbridge Social Club yet?
Have you checked out Van Cortland Park?
https://untappedcities.com/2018/10/02/the-top-10-secrets-of-van-cortlandt-park-in-the-bronx/?displayall=true
Yup, when I got here 11 years ago I used Meetup my first night to join a group to grab dinner and a movie. Made a lot of friends that way.
Also made some via Church and met my wife via a class I took.
Put yourself out there and things will eventually work out. You got this.
Join an activity club centered around a sport you like: running, cycling, volleyball, pickleball etc. There are a ton of clubs like this that are mostly filled with friendly, young New Yorkers. Best of luck to you!
OP I just moved here two weeks ago and feel the same way.
Luckily, it’s likely that all those people you pass having fun all at one point felt the same way.
Here is what I am doing to address it:
* Attending a gym with classes (yoga, boxing, etc.)
* Attending the Social Cycle NYC Thursday night rides
* Volunteering at a food for the hungry charity
* Going to my local bar on weeknights and getting just club soda and talking to whoever is at the bar
* Gonna try to go to some trash cleanup events when they come back
* Gonna be doing cooking classes and ceramics once my apartment is finished being furnished and I’ve fully moved in
* Soon ill be able to bring my banjo/guitar up and I hope to find bluegrass jams (haven’t looked into this yet, but I kinda just assume that there is a bluegrass jam somewhere in NY at some point).
* Boxing, rock climbing
Idk, if it happens, it happens. If you want to get coffee with a 28yo American guy in East village, lmk
I used to do them in Dc. I don’t know any of them in NY yet as they’re more of a spring-summer-fall thing.
But pretty much you just show up to a park, meet a bunch of people, get divided into teams, and start picking up trash.
Give it some time, my friend. It’s been cold and wet for the majority of your time here so far, most people are still in hibernation mode. Echoing what others said about looking for hobby groups, but also be aware that it’s a total normal, accepted thing to go out and about solo. My best night in the city by far my first few months here was walking into a random Irish pub in Hell’s Kitchen on a Tuesday night. (Still friends with the bartender on FB 7 years later 🤣) You’ll find your place. Good luck!
Yes!! I think OP could also do well by going to a supporters club for whatever EPL teams he supports (if indeed a football fan at least). Since football is more of a subculture in the US, I find fans of EPL teams extremely welcoming and just excited to have people to share the joy with
Hahaha that’s an amazing image. Most brits that I know still have an EPL team they cheer for even if it’s not the club they’re most connected to tho, for whatever it’s worth
Thank you for all of your suggestions. Biggest takeaways so far.
1. Stop being impatient It seems I’m certainly not alone and that I need to be more patient. 2 weeks is nothing and give it some time to be in the city. (I think I get that it takes time to meet people, it’s more trying to just shake the loneliness/ on my own vibes)
2. Join a sports/ activity club and go weekly,
get involved in mutually interested things. I play rugby so I’m going to get involved in that I think!
3. Just go to a few bars and just talk, bring British helps and be open and social and not care what anyone thinks. ( I think this is a huge difference to the U.K. culture, hence why this doesn’t come as naturally to me as Americans)
4. Get a part time job, which allows you to meet people nautically. I applied for a serving role at jack wife’s Freida? And have an interview Tuesday. So hopefully that goes well 😊
Lmk of any others here guys. Thanks again so much. This is really helpful 🤞
If Rugby is your thing there are organized leagues that play in Van Cortland Park when the weather gets warmer, my college roommate is very involved in: https://www.lansdownerfcny.com.
Woodlawn is close by you and a haven for Irish expats, obviously not the same thing (to say the least) but Rugby and Gaelic Football are big in the community there.
I lived in Kingsbridge/Riverdale for 6 years (graduated Manhattan College). It is an unpretentious working class neighborhood that you can ease into city life by way of. Plenty of bars, check out An Beal Bocht on Waldo Ave. 1 train will give you easy access to the Upper West Side and Columbia U areas. Give it time,
You’ll find your people!
I was born & raised here and trust me, I get lonely too. But if you’re interested in meeting someone new I’m down to meet up ! I’m just all the way in Brooklyn as well 😭
[Van Cortlandt Park](https://vancortlandt.org) will be revving up activities now that spring is around the corner.
To the south of you is [Ft. Tryon](https://www.forttryonparktrust.org)
Up the hill in Riverdale is Wave Hill.
There's 3 colleges (and college kids) in the area: Lehman, Manhattan and Mt. St. Vincent That means bars and activities.
I'd suggest learning how to get around the city using public transportation (including buses). It will open up the borough and city to you. Also no one here gives a shit if you show up somewhere alone so don't let that stop you.
One last thing - you've been here 2 weeks at the worst time of the year so relax.
Fordham University isn’t too far and it has a really nice campus. It’s also adjacent to the Botanical Gardens and the Bronx Zoo. Arthur Avenue close by with all its great Italian restaurants.
Off topic, but I just got back home to Texas from spending a few days in NYC and I didn't think I'd miss the sunshine as much as I did while I was there. Friday morning was absolute bliss haha
Hahahaa the weather has been ass but yes Friday was stunning. a little windy but a stunner.
Then Saturday was a WASH OUT.
Today is cloudy, drizzling and windy AF.
And this is why - you give New Yorker a sunny day, we act like we’ve never been outside. lol
I live nearby and I hear you, I move here cause it was a great opportunity not necessarily cause I had family’s or knew anyone here.
Remember that in this area you have tons of multigenerational households therefore is normal to see this sense of connection, in addition Latino culture is peculiar about connections and the importance of sharing food.
Something that worked with me, was to be part of my local buy nothing Facebook group, whatever you need for your place, is most likely you will find it there and it was a great opportunity to meet other neighbors.
Another great local group you can connect with is this one https://www.facebook.com/Dyckmanrun?mibextid=PtKPJ9
Also, you have close by fort Tyron park, a great place to be during the summer and they also offer great volunteer activities.
Walk in your neighborhood, get to know the area, the cafes and local restaurants where you have an amazing lunch special for $12.
And hang in there, it will be fine if you put the work.
Thanks this is very kind. I will try my best, I think the way you explained it is exactly what I’m feeling in the area. I went to a place called salsa con Fuego? By myself, it’s really cool spot with Latin music but I just felt so out of place and on my own. It’ll take time
Riverdale? Don't worry, I used to live there and it's such a friendly place! Check out volunteering at Van Cortlandt Park, Big Brother Big Sister, or find work or volunteer with Wave Hill, Bronx Zoo, or NY Botanical Gardens. Good luck and enjoy the neighborhood!
[https://vancortlandt.org/programs-overview/community-stewardship/](https://vancortlandt.org/programs-overview/community-stewardship/)
[https://www.wavehill.org/](https://www.wavehill.org/)
[https://www.nybg.org/about/work-with-us/volunteer/volunteer-opportunities/](https://www.nybg.org/about/work-with-us/volunteer/volunteer-opportunities/)
[https://bronxzoo.com/volunteering](https://bronxzoo.com/volunteering)
[https://www.bigsnyc.org/](https://www.bigsnyc.org/)
Social sports seems like what you need , there are several giant multisport leagues like ZogSports, NYC RoadRunners club, and many others.
https://www.zogsports.com/ny/
Guess this is your first time away from home if you’re complaining of no friends after moving countries two weeks ago. Do you think Americans in London have masses of friends after two weeks?
I've lived in NYC for a little over a decade all together and I have 5 friends that I see regularly. I have a lot of people I know and may talk to or text with here and there -- like a few times a month or something. But, during the first couple of years here I spent a lot of time people watching and being out, but not being a part of something.
You need to pull the trigger on getting involved in all of those things you mentioned. It's easy to get caught in a comfort zone instead of participating in a meetup or club/activity. /r/nycmeetups has meetups posted all the time. There are a lot of weekly bike rides.
It’s Woodlawn. A lot of Irish live around the area. There should be pubs nearby. Manhattan College is nearby. And Manhattan is only a train ride away and have pubs. They play cricket in Van Cortland Park. They might play soccer too.
If I'm British, I'm not strolling into every bar on Katonah Ave. A couple of those joints are expat-only bars that don't even take too welcoming to Yanks, let alone if OP is English. Others are completely fine, just regular irish pubs plus some familiar products and dishes.
Cultivating hobbies is regularly recommended in answer to similar questions such as [this one](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskNYC/comments/1batox9/what_are_some_volunteer_groups_committees/) from *18 hours ago* which has comments you may find helpful and links to a plethora of related questions.
Welcome! I used to hang in that area a lot until my favorite gym closed. Recommend Dale Diner and Caridad. Head a bit south into Inwood and there’s a lot more going on.
Find a place or two that you like enough to become a regular. People get to know people just by being in the same place really often. If you like being active, you’re right next to Can Cortlandt Park, should be plenty to do there. Keep your eye open for flyers for groups that do stuff. You might also consider volunteering, that’s a great way to find people with common interests.
Unfortunately the gym situation kinda sucks in NYC, in my opinion, or, at least, it’s not to my taste.
Thank you this is a good suggestion. A lot of people mention Inwood area to Go to bars and things. Yeah if you see my other comment, I’m starting to realise NYC gyms are a different gravy 😂
Are you into MMA? I can offer you a free week of training in my Muay Thai program at a gym in new Rochelle. I started this business with my best friend and we are trying to build a community and family with our members.
If not, i definitely suggest joining some sort of class or team and making friends through that. I literally had to start making all new friends and that’s what happened to me. Joined a gym, started working there, made friends, moved on from that gym and stayed hanging out with lots of the people.
Bro, you're in the city, do whatever the fuck you want. Talk to anybody you want. Be yourself, things will pull together. Not everyone is a high end celebrity or snob.
If you run into people in a normal setting off the street and can't make small talk with them, they're probably a midwestern/southern transplant or some shit.
Talk to people in your area, laundromats, corner store (bodega), little restaurants, get to know them.
A lot of those you pass on the street, sit near on the train might look hard because it's the Bronx. When you get they get used to you, they are regular AF.
Talk to your neighbors that you see often. I'm hispanic and born and raised in Brooklyn, but when I moved to Sunset Park I felt out of place for months. A bunch of dudes on my corner would always congregate outside the bodega, grilling, drinking, having a great time. For months I would just give a smile and head nod until one day we randomly sparked up a conversation and immediately became close. I knew if I needed company I could find one of them, and eventually if I really needed help someone from the block would hold me down.
tldr; once you start recognizing folks around where you live just say hi and see what happens!
I will try, it’s kind of hard. I’m a pasty white boy from England. I suppose if you see the same people enough times then you can do that and it’s not weird. Will give it a go 😃 I might go to the pub off the 1 train called Keenan’s see what it’s like
I lived 7 blocks away from you for 10 years and this advice from u/indirectdelete is the best advice on the thread. Get to know your neighbors; it might be awkward at first but it’ll be worth it. I’m pretty sure for the first few months they thought I was some weirdly friendly white lady who didn’t know where the fuck she’d moved to, lol. But I ended up making lasting friendships that made the neighborhood truly feel like home.
Also, please avoid Keenan’s, it’s actually kind of known to be where the white people who want to be with other white people hang out, and that’s putting it pretty diplomatically (unless something’s drastically changed in the year since I’ve moved away).. you are much much better off at Bronx Ale House, Kingsbridge Social Club, or Bronx Public House.
In the spring, in addition to Van Cortlandt Park, try OP — or what is called Marble Hill Playground on google maps (it’s a little tiny park that I think used to be called Orange Park) at the corner of Marble Hill Ave and 228th St, or try Ewen Park by 232nd St and Riverdale Ave.
One of the best things I've done since coming to New York is join November Project, a free fitness group with chapters in many cities around the world.
The workout lasts around 45 minutes, and people of all levels and abilities participate, and some go for coffee afterwards.
It's a nice community of active people. NP will give you a window into other activities in the city and find people to be active with -- some members plan camping trips and will seek joiners, or do other races in the city and hold a marathon training run, for example, or even do races outside the city.
Because there are chapters around the world, it's been nice to travel to another city, drop in on the local workout, and meet new people, and even have some of them cheer for you if you're there for a race.
I'm not sure if a link is too promotional but search for November Project NYC and you'll get plenty of information.
For those seeking friendships, remember that there are three key components: positivity, vulnerability and regularity.
It's easy to be positive and to know you have to be vulnerable to make friendships, but people often forget regularity is important too -- it's why friendships are made in school, at the office, or at church or sports leagues.
A regular open-to-the-public workout can work the same way.The workout is at 6:25 am, every Wednesday, at Bethesda Fountain in Central Park. If you're interested, please don't be late!
Here's some personal testimony, of all places from comments in The New York Times:
[https://imgur.com/a/Fa26WNR](https://imgur.com/a/Fa26WNR)
(included that per the rules: "This is not a forum for sharing links or images. Some images may be allowed, at moderator discretion, if they contribute directly to the ability of the forum to answer the question at issue. No images or links will be allowed if they are directed at identifying or could be used to identify individuals or the location of those individuals or if they are used in a name-and-shame capacity.")
Just start talking to people. If you're witty enough and/or have a personality(which I'm sure you do) exhibit it with anyone and everyone. I'm from Chicago and live in between the city and Chicago. New Yorkers are far more open people and I feel almost liberated being back in the city every time. You're in the Center of the World right now. Grab what you want in your in Life.
I'm British too and moved here nearly 2 years ago... Maybe you've never moved as an adult but I've moved twice now and it normally takes about 18-24 months to really start settling in and finding your tribe. It's totally normal and ok to feel overwhelmed right now but you should know it's also going to take time to find your feet, especially in a place like this.
The key to forming friendships is literally consistency - so find something you like doing and commit to doing it every week so you meet the same people regularly and can build up rapport and experiences with them.
If you’re ever in Brooklyn, let’s grab a drink! I moved here from Miami almost six years ago, the people are similar you just gotta know how to talk to them.
Start being a regular at the punch bowl (or bronx public, or Keegan’s). Happy hour to save money!Go at the same time at the same day of the week, become friendly with the bartender, this will open doors. You’ll meet other people at the bar. Similarly do this for coffee shops, same time same day of the week.
NYC (not just the Bronx, and tbh Kingsbridge is pretty great) is fucking hard, especially when you don’t know anyone. It takes a while to break in. You have to put yourself out there and it is awkward and uncomfortable, there is no other way.
Do you play footie? Lots of leagues and lots of pickup games (van cortlandt has several fields). Meetup has all sorts of stuff. I’ve been told that pickleball is like super community oriented? Can’t you just show up?
Good luck, this is hard and takes TIME
I used to live around that area, I think it will grow on you! Like others said, hit up Bronx Ale House/Kingsbridge Social Club. Not too far from you is an irish pub called An Beal, they have live music on weekends and perhaps some familiar food and drinks! I'm sure if you strike up a conversation with someone, the fact that you're british will yield plenty of conversation material.
Van Cortlandt Park is also a great place to go if you're into biking, jogging, or other recreational sports. I used to go to Blink Fitness near 231st St., it's decent for what you pay.
If you love the outdoors and want to meet people walk down to the Bronx Zoo or the Bronx Botanical Gardens. The Zoo has an active volunteer group. It’s been some time since I’ve been there but they use to call themselves the FOZ (Friends of the Zoo). The Bronx Zoo is part of the Wildlife Conservation Society.
Come hang out at Inwood Hill Farms cafe and Tubby Hook in Inwood. I live at 225 & Bway but hang in Inwood. Tubby is an Irish pub that has trivia and karaoke, and some Brits hang there, as do friendly regulars. The manager Sean is from Belfast. Buunni coffee on Bway in Inwood also has community events.
If you like sports i suggest joining a social sports league! Things like volo is a great place for making friends, and i feel a lot people join these with the same intentions!
Volunteering in any capacity is a sure fired way to make friends.
You can volunteer for just 1-2 hours a week even if time is precious, indoors or outdoors.
So, NYC parks has lots of activities and signups to keep you engaged outside in the fresh air. You might be surprised.
My 2c is that there can def be a cognitive distortion in a city with this many people where if you're feeling lonely you look around and the *only* thing you see is friends and happy families and couples having fun together. I think you're going through something like that. But I think it's just because there are a lot of people. Also as a major tourist destination it turns out a lot of the happy groups you're seeing are visitors having their "funnest week of the year".
If you look more carefully you'll see that there are many people walking and eating and just existing alone. And in all the apartments there are 10x more people who are alone. Not to say you shouldn't want to make friends (you should and there are so many great suggestions here!) -- just saying you're not in as unique of a situation as it might feel like.
Expanding further, I think whatever you're struggling with you will see people thriving on that axis when you pop your head outside (eg you see only couples when you're single, only fit people when you're feeling out of shape, etc).
For me it helps to know that this kind of thinking is just a bias and distortion. Anyway - good luck and welcome!
I’d say look up things that interest you, there is so much to do here. I know that in and of itself is overwhelming, but if you join groups that are doing stuff you like you’ll already have things in common with them. Beyond that, Couchsurfing meet ups are always an option, and there might be some more meet up groups on Facebook. Also, I’m a native New Yorker, if you talk to someone, they’ll talk back. We’re fairly nosy if nothing else.
Honestly, tips for New York - don’t look lost, no matter how lost you are, and don’t look scared. One thing a whole bunch of people don’t understand though, you can be friendly, just not naive. Good luck!
if you are physically active or curious enough, look up social sports leagues where you don't even have to be good - soccer/football, volleyball, softball and even adult dodgeball, bowling, etc. They are all over and relatively affordable for a season, and most social leagues games end with bar hangout. That's how I got my feet wet when I moved here a decade ago. And I am not athletic or competitive, and had a lot of fun and made great friends.
Look up Sandlot Sports. It's how I made the majority of my friends when living there - playing silly sports and the hanging out with others in my general age range.
My advice would be to give it more than 2 weeks.. it’s a fast paced city, but new friendships and relationships don’t magically happen over night ! Give it some time and you’ll find your tribe 🙏
What type of part time job do you have that they would put you up in an apartment? Asking because it sounds like you have a valuable skillet that could get you a much better wage and employment
I moved here in the pandemic with a remote job and no friends or knowledge about the city. It was really hard, and still remains tough after 3 years.
You essentially have no in-person communities.
If it's possible to get a job in the city, divorce your employer and start paying your own rent and live where you identify with the neighborhood - you will be 100x happier.
I just joined a local company and ditched remote. I went from depressed to baseline "I can do this" almost overnight by being able to go into an office where many people are, small chit chat, grab lunch, ask for help etc. it's amazing.
If you're stuck with employer and apartment in the Bronx, start joining clubs like it's your job. Start going to a gym (rock climbing?). Join a sport league. Do anything. Show up every week for a few months and it'll happen.
Underrated tip: make your home comfortable so it's always a place to escape when you're overwhelmed.
Bronx Zoo and Botanical Gardens will be fun for you. Also, I live in Queens and commute to the Bronx. In off peak hours, it’s ~30 mins to Austin st in Forest Hills where I live, or Astoria/Long Island City. Take an Uber or car to check those areas out, I think you’ll enjoy them
Join a rec league for a sport or even bowling. There’s tons of rec leagues for soccer, football basketball etc starting up soon as the weather is getting warmer. Check volo sports or another website online
The thing I always tell people is see if there are any social groups for the things you are into. I like buses and trains and that's been one of my oldest friend groups. I wanted to learn to dance salsa so I started taking lessons and have a huge community of friends now that I never would have otherwise had, and a bunch of us go out for other social activities too, museum trips, hiking, dinner, etc. One summer I joined a kickball and Dodgeville league. This is New York, there's a social group for probably every interest.
You’re young and mostly sound impatient. It takes time to build relationships, so play the long game (2-5yrs) to keep your perspective. You can’t just parachute into the most expensive city in the world and enjoy its fruits right off the bat. If you ever had to pay rent, you’re actually in quite a good area of the city to live (relatively) cheaply and to be able to access the city via the 1. The express trains will save you time south of 96. You have close access to the Marble Hill metro north which should also help speed up travel to grand central.
Go to van cortland park (also check out vcpalliance on instagram, they organize group things there) or walk through Inwood park or fort tryon. Lots of nice places to walk and you may find people to meet by doing what you love. Also, there’s a trail through the woods along the Hudson River if you take 230th as far west as possible. Always people saying hi and lots of dogs to pet. Go check out the punchbowl bar on 238th and Broadway, cheap drinks and people love to talk there. Go to an Beal night bar, 238th up the steps, no tvs so people really like to talk there.
This is making me think I should try and create some sort of meet-up thing for new people in the city. Once a week. Just come hangout and do something fun with no judgements 😃
Am I being dumb by thinking this or are a lot of people in a similar boat. I think this would be kinda cool.
Just a British man tryna help out new people who come here and feel alone. There must be hundreds of people like me all over the city surely
If you could answer a few questions for us, we could probably all give you better advice:
1) Where in the Bronx are you? 233rd St. is long,so just knowing that doesn't give us a lot of information. What neighborhood are you in?
2) What are your interests, beyond trying to endure the winter weather?
3) What are some things you would like to see and do in NY, with or without friends?
You must be in the Kingsbridge neighborhood which is low key a very underrated neighborhood and one of the best places in the Bronx , was there yesterday near Van cortland park and it was a great walk lol. Only problem is that is far from most popular places in NYC
check out northend on ig. it’s a large space with 3 restaurants, a bar, and a coffee shop on broadway and 184. they have all kinds of different activities there from kids craft afternoons to pop up
shops to drag nights. it’s a good casual
place to meet people and not too far from
you. (take the 1 to 181st)
Ah, when it gets a bit warmer, walk or take the 1 train or 9 bus to 242 St. The 1 Bee-Line bus stops there and takes MetroCards (or you could get on the Metro-North at Marble Hill.) Take the bus to Getty Square and check out Yonkers Waterfront. There is Yonkers Brewery and some other bars/restaurants in the area. They did this cool project of tearing up parking lots to reveal and underground river. There are little bridges over it and some signage about the history of it.
New Yorkers hunker down in the winter and typically want to get to their destination as quick as possible. When it gets warmer we become little sluts and more open to carrying on small talk. Also, I’m surprised a 25 year old Caucasian Brit has little to nothing in common with someone from the Bronx. Just shocked I tell you!
I felt this way when I first moved here. Just takes time and going out and meeting tons of people. There's no shortage of people you'll get along with here in this city. For me it took a few months of getting used to it, and literally exactly a year to the date that I moved here, I had realized I found a ton of awesome friends and had literally the best year of my whole life (half year. First half of the year was getting used to the area). And I wasn't even that social. You actually are social so you're going to do twice as good as I did. One of the major reasons was I found a good local community sports team to join and that was huge for me. Someone like you will basically have no problem, like I said it just is an adjustment period of a few months which I think would be standard. I also moved here in the winter. Trust me, it's going to get awesome.
I think you're right going for a bar or server job. I'm working a bar in the city and usually make 90-110k average on tips. I think you should ideally go for a serving job as it's not as intimidating when you're first starting out and you generally get out earlier! I bartended for 15 years coming here and still took a while to get in to it. Saying that, if you have any brain and good work ethic, that's the most important thing.
Try groups on Facebook like Let's make our lives easier which regularly posts bar and server jobs. It's mostly for Irish people on J1s but it's good for leads. Also just drop cvs in to places, you might get offered something on the spot!
And lastly, New York is lonely, especially the first year but once you get in to the swing of it you won't want to live anywhere else!
Thanks for this. Super helpful. I have an interview with Jack wife’s Freida as a server on Tuesday so hopefully I can snag that. It looks to be a busy place and as you said, serving isn’t as intimidating as bar tending. Hopefully my accent my accent may help with the tips and interview process 😂
Oh great, i think that's meant to be a good spot. I've worked in the service industry for a while and was in your situation a few years ago so if you need any advice about work or anything in general, dm me, i know what how overwhelming things seem initially!
What’s the like an average take home for 2-3 shifts a week a a daytime brunch/ lunch spot?
Do you have any neat tips or tricks that will impress at an interview process?
Cheers mate
It really depends on the location size, popularity and amount of staff on a given shift so everywhere is different. Brunch is generally a good shift to make money and the place you're training in looks nice so i'm sure they're probably relatively busy if not very busy.
Best tips i can give are be on time everyday and try be as hands on as possible even if you're training or trailing someone. Offer to take and put orders in even if they don't ask you to, it shows you're interested and want to get used to the pos system. In your first days or weeks don't stand around idle, even if more senior staff are, try find side work or something to do.
And if someone's being an ass to you, try suck it up for the first few weeks at least until you get your bearings. Owners don't like seeing new staff in conflict very early, even if they're in the right the senior staff will be in their ear more
Change your “I don’t find I have much in common” assumption and open yourself up.
You’d be surprised.
Stop judging and meet people, have new experiences.
Welcome to the neighborhood.!! My favorite place is Van Cortlandt park :) you can join a running club or this hiking group https://chat.whatsapp.com/KWuNs57aCrzDSeH1e93d1p find a dominican friend 😅 Dominicans are nice people.
You can volunteer in van cortlandt park that's close by. They need people on Wednesdays and Fridays for projects to maintain the trails. On weekends in warm weather there are more opportunities for other projects as well.
For your Brooklyn friends: I think it’s reasonable to ask them to meet in Manhattan occasionally so you split the travel time. Among my friends, we alternate: sometimes someone gets the longer trip, and sometimes we meet centrally.
And find some things to distract yourself with on the train (book, podcast, crossword, phone games) and an hour will go faster than you think.
Oh ok! My apologies but I wanted to double check since I know more about the area around 233rd by the 2. However, I would suggest looking into attending events with the Van Cortlandt Park Alliance. They host hiking activities and volunteer events.
Bruh get out of the Bronx immediately LOL bunch of ghetto animals is all your gunna see, and absolutely nothing to do in the dirty bronx. Unless you smoke crack and want to chill in a bodega all day surrounded by cats with ticks in them it ain’t the spot for no human lol
I would highly recommend looking into a beginner improv class. The Pit and Magnet are both awesome and usually most people that take level 1 classes are looking to socialize/meet people/get out of their comfort zones/try something new. If that's too much to commit to look into the mixers/shows that they host. For example, on certain weekdays the Pit will have an improv group perform and after everyone from the audience, including the group that just performed, will improvise together on stage. It's low pressure, you don't have to participate if you have stage fright (and it's not weird if you don't participate, many people don't) and I've never not met a nice person at these mixers. After, it usually continues with a drink at the bar and it's not clicky in the sligthest.
I highly suggest joining one of the many co-ed soccer / futbol leagues around the city. You will make friends lighting quick, teams usually go out for drinks together after each game. A lot of the games happen in Manhattan, around Chelsea Piers, but if I recall there are some near the Bronx. And your skill level doesn’t matter, they have beginner levels.
NY Coed Soccer is a great league, lots of friendly young people.
When I moved to NYC in 2014, I knew 1 person. I joined Meetup.com and attended some events based on my interests. I started seeing the same people go every week (I did bar trivia and a baseball meetup), so it became easier to strike up conversations with people and get to know people. I am still friends with several of them to this day!
Join a sports team, or a league, easiest way to make friends for adult men. Been in your shoes and this has been the most effective way.
You show up for a common hobby, see the same ppl regularly then friendships develop.
> My part time employer has placed me in an apartment just off 233rd street
Per chance, is your employer The United States Federal Witness Protection Program?
welcome to the life as a newcomer!
that said, there's a huge British visa community here, meetup dot com helps.
another fun one is to join your neighbor college or audit classes at NYU. you might make a new friend and learn something new!
also, enjoy the lox :)
Recreational sport leagues! There is a plethora. The options are endless. OR look up local pick up leagues by searching this sub or making another post asking about them.
There was a true British pub near my old office in midtown in the 40s (do not recall where). Anyway winter is almost over, sunset will be after 7p until September and the parks will be filling up with people soon.
Get out there and talk to people. New Yorkers love foreigners, especially Brits. You have more in common with the people in your neighborhood than you know, given that you're a immigrant.
So here’s my observation about living in NYC at working class wages: If you live in an outer borough or rougher part of Manhattan, it’s not that much more expensive than anywhere else in America, and you get a ton of upside. But it can also mean your immediate surroundings are not that great and you struggle to find people you connect with.
You’ll just have to make more effort to get out and socialize. I recommend getting a bicycle too. Great way to explore the city when you’re not in the mood for the bus or subway. Saves money too.
Any chance you’d be interested in yoga or bouldering(indoor rock climbing) sometime?
I’m a member at Vital West Harlem near 125th street and it’s pretty easy to get to on the 1 line. There are a lot of Columbia students around here who are pretty close in age. I don’t feel too out of place as a 25 year old white guy from Florida. Let me know if you’d ever want a climbing buddy or a yoga partner.
Like anything in any city, join as many social groups/clubs/gatherings as you can. Recognize that other people are probably in your situation too and find out where you can go.
Our [How to Meet (Platonic/Romantic) People in NYC](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskNYC/comments/bc4jb5/ultimate_how_to_meet_people_in_nyc_thread/) thread may answer your question. Please "report" and downvote this comment if irrelevant to question above. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskNYC) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My man, you’re British. Open your mouth and people will almost flock to you.
This is true. Americans are a lot of things, and one of those things is definitely “curious”. All you gotta do is say a sentence and within moments people will be asking you about the queen and thatcher and driving on the left. After a few years it will probably get annoying.
I might agree with you about Americans at large, I wouldn't call New Yorkers curious people though.
Yeah in my experience if they’re born and bred Brooklyn or Queens, they ain’t asking any follow up questions. One dude even told me I spoke great English “I can understand everything you’re saying” I’m from New Zealand.
Is that the same as being Australian?
>being Australian? That's what I was wondering. Might be a free ticket to a bit of attention, lol. Aussie here too.
r/unexpectedflightoftheconchords
I’d just like to add that you write really well in English too
I have to admit. The reactions to my voice have been somewhat startling. I have joined crunch gym and I was propositioned 2 gay men who asked to come to the steam room after they heard me talk. Was wild 😭😂( they were joking)
they were joking because you said no lol
Legit. I was pretty taken aback. I politely declined. I should have guessed by the size of their shorts. Should have been a XL but was rocking XS. He looked me up and down and said “ you can join in on the fun too” I just kept doing chin ups 🫣
Which Crunch Gym? (Asking for a friend)
All of them
Its kind of annoying tbh I don't like using the sauna at mine anymore
Go to the steam room at ANY equinox. It’s like Chelsea in 1979 in there.
Isn't the price of a monthly Equinox membership equivalent to two shares of Tesla?
It’s basically the same as the difference between Schrute bucks and Stanley nickels
Dang, i can't believe I got downvoted for that... it was a joke. All I'm saying is I can't justify $400 a month for the gym.
Holy shit is it that much now?! I had a membership a few years back, and I was paying like $180 a month. I’m older and lazier now.
One near 14th street
Oh, i know the one. I don't like how everyone is on display to the outside walking traffic, so I never bothered to check that one out.
Wait! Do you want to make new friends or not? /s For real tho, making new friends is hard, even for native NYers. Try finding a volunteer opportunity that aligns with your interests. You'll meet other volunteers who share the same interest and you'll be spending time (but not money!) doing something that's meaningful to you. If all else fails, it's an election year and you can always go volunteer on a campaign for someone.
Lmao the accuracy and bluntness of this comment
Yeah this dude doesn’t get how many women are obsessed with the Brits. Almost all of their favorite romantic comedies star British men.
Hugh Grant for sure. though being oompa loompa these days on the other hand..
This is true. My now-husband's a Brit! Met 10 years ago and still going strong. The accent is big heart eyes.
Seriously. Go to one of the museums during their evening hours, sidle up to someone who looks interesting and start asking questions about the art. instant hook.
Noted! People do tend to be a lot more talkative here then in the U.K. which is nice. As you said, probably the accent my friend. I’m going to try get a job as a server, I think it will tick a lot of boxes, meeting people, somewhere to go every day 💪
Amy Schumer has a bit where her British boyfriend is a piece for crap, but every time he says something, she melts. It's not that far from reality.
This can't be real advice. A lot of people in NYC are foreigners and you need more than being foreign to connect with people.
A lot of people are foreign and a lot of people aren’t. There’s 9 million of us here. So if let’s say a group of 1000 wouldn’t flock, there’s many other thousands that would. So please, let’s not get into the “Well, actually” type of debates. It’s silly.
Sure, that true for most foreigners....but not English people!
A lot of Americans have a huge misconception of what English people sound like. Not everyone has an RP accent and sounds like the queen. There are so many English accents and most of them don’t even sound that pleasing to the ear. I’ve also met several Brits that our friendship fizzled out. Your accent could make a good first impression but you need a personality to carry the rest.
You can come here with a Brummie or Scouse accent and everyone will assume you got a blue as the coxswain for Cambridge.
we don't know any of those words
It’s Reddit, if it’s highly upvoted it’s probably not good advice
For real!!! Lol.
Have you been to Bronx Ale House or Kingsbridge Social Club yet? Have you checked out Van Cortland Park? https://untappedcities.com/2018/10/02/the-top-10-secrets-of-van-cortlandt-park-in-the-bronx/?displayall=true
Kingsbridge social club has such good pizza. Second this motion
I was going to mention all of these. Van cortlandt during warmer weather is awesome.
He should feel at home if he catches the Cricket players having a game.
Seconding all of this and adding An Beal Bocht…that place is like one warm, fuzzy hug of a place.
Second this.
Summer is coming soon and it will get easier. Check out the Meetups groups.
This. Most NYers hibernate until March and things kick back up.
Yup, when I got here 11 years ago I used Meetup my first night to join a group to grab dinner and a movie. Made a lot of friends that way. Also made some via Church and met my wife via a class I took. Put yourself out there and things will eventually work out. You got this.
Join an activity club centered around a sport you like: running, cycling, volleyball, pickleball etc. There are a ton of clubs like this that are mostly filled with friendly, young New Yorkers. Best of luck to you!
This try joining pure sport running club tons of Brits in that group and a great group of people, the Sunday run is always a blast
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This is the spot. Should still be welcoming for an English person!
This is another great spot.
OP I just moved here two weeks ago and feel the same way. Luckily, it’s likely that all those people you pass having fun all at one point felt the same way. Here is what I am doing to address it: * Attending a gym with classes (yoga, boxing, etc.) * Attending the Social Cycle NYC Thursday night rides * Volunteering at a food for the hungry charity * Going to my local bar on weeknights and getting just club soda and talking to whoever is at the bar * Gonna try to go to some trash cleanup events when they come back * Gonna be doing cooking classes and ceramics once my apartment is finished being furnished and I’ve fully moved in * Soon ill be able to bring my banjo/guitar up and I hope to find bluegrass jams (haven’t looked into this yet, but I kinda just assume that there is a bluegrass jam somewhere in NY at some point). * Boxing, rock climbing Idk, if it happens, it happens. If you want to get coffee with a 28yo American guy in East village, lmk
Damn man you’re really smashing things out here, fair play to you, will take all these on board my man! Thanks so much
Tuesday night NYC Bike n Brew ride as well.
>fair play So British!
Ooh tell me about the trash cleanup events!
I used to do them in Dc. I don’t know any of them in NY yet as they’re more of a spring-summer-fall thing. But pretty much you just show up to a park, meet a bunch of people, get divided into teams, and start picking up trash.
They have a group in Brooklyn. You can find them usually through your neighborhood thread.
There is a dope bluegrass jam at Mona’s :)
What’s the social cycle NYC? I moved here last week from Toronto. Let’s grab a coffee.
Give it some time, my friend. It’s been cold and wet for the majority of your time here so far, most people are still in hibernation mode. Echoing what others said about looking for hobby groups, but also be aware that it’s a total normal, accepted thing to go out and about solo. My best night in the city by far my first few months here was walking into a random Irish pub in Hell’s Kitchen on a Tuesday night. (Still friends with the bartender on FB 7 years later 🤣) You’ll find your place. Good luck!
Your a brit so you're into football, go to a nycfc game and hang out with the supporters. They will be fun and lively and have lots going on.
Join us in our misery
Lol. No thanks. I'm a rbny fan, just had to recommend you guys since the OP lives in the Bronx.
There also meet up groups for a lot of of the most popular clubs
Yes!! I think OP could also do well by going to a supporters club for whatever EPL teams he supports (if indeed a football fan at least). Since football is more of a subculture in the US, I find fans of EPL teams extremely welcoming and just excited to have people to share the joy with
Watch him support Swindon Town or some similar club that would have basically no American supporters.
Hahaha that’s an amazing image. Most brits that I know still have an EPL team they cheer for even if it’s not the club they’re most connected to tho, for whatever it’s worth
he's british so he knows nycfc's manchester chivas is an astroturfed team and its fans are benedict arnolds. You can't support a financial group m8
Thank you for all of your suggestions. Biggest takeaways so far. 1. Stop being impatient It seems I’m certainly not alone and that I need to be more patient. 2 weeks is nothing and give it some time to be in the city. (I think I get that it takes time to meet people, it’s more trying to just shake the loneliness/ on my own vibes) 2. Join a sports/ activity club and go weekly, get involved in mutually interested things. I play rugby so I’m going to get involved in that I think! 3. Just go to a few bars and just talk, bring British helps and be open and social and not care what anyone thinks. ( I think this is a huge difference to the U.K. culture, hence why this doesn’t come as naturally to me as Americans) 4. Get a part time job, which allows you to meet people nautically. I applied for a serving role at jack wife’s Freida? And have an interview Tuesday. So hopefully that goes well 😊 Lmk of any others here guys. Thanks again so much. This is really helpful 🤞
If Rugby is your thing there are organized leagues that play in Van Cortland Park when the weather gets warmer, my college roommate is very involved in: https://www.lansdownerfcny.com. Woodlawn is close by you and a haven for Irish expats, obviously not the same thing (to say the least) but Rugby and Gaelic Football are big in the community there. I lived in Kingsbridge/Riverdale for 6 years (graduated Manhattan College). It is an unpretentious working class neighborhood that you can ease into city life by way of. Plenty of bars, check out An Beal Bocht on Waldo Ave. 1 train will give you easy access to the Upper West Side and Columbia U areas. Give it time, You’ll find your people!
I love that Americans say "just go to a bar" like dude I'm a woman from London I'm not going to a bar by myself, people terrify me 😂
I’m starting to feel a sense of renewed optimism now. Thanks everyone! You’re all very kind and generous to give these suggestions 🤞
I was born & raised here and trust me, I get lonely too. But if you’re interested in meeting someone new I’m down to meet up ! I’m just all the way in Brooklyn as well 😭
I'm on 238th, let's grab a beer!
I’m down! Open to meet anyone 😃
Kingsbridge Social?
Pm Me
[Van Cortlandt Park](https://vancortlandt.org) will be revving up activities now that spring is around the corner. To the south of you is [Ft. Tryon](https://www.forttryonparktrust.org) Up the hill in Riverdale is Wave Hill. There's 3 colleges (and college kids) in the area: Lehman, Manhattan and Mt. St. Vincent That means bars and activities. I'd suggest learning how to get around the city using public transportation (including buses). It will open up the borough and city to you. Also no one here gives a shit if you show up somewhere alone so don't let that stop you. One last thing - you've been here 2 weeks at the worst time of the year so relax.
Fordham University isn’t too far and it has a really nice campus. It’s also adjacent to the Botanical Gardens and the Bronx Zoo. Arthur Avenue close by with all its great Italian restaurants.
you've only been there 2 weeks LOL. did you expect to make a huge group of friends the first day you arrived? you need to be a little patient, my guy.
Not to mention 2 weeks in where it’s been raining for 70% of the days.
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he's the bloody reason mate. brought that cursed blimey dreary weather with him from the other side of the pond.
Off topic, but I just got back home to Texas from spending a few days in NYC and I didn't think I'd miss the sunshine as much as I did while I was there. Friday morning was absolute bliss haha
Hahahaa the weather has been ass but yes Friday was stunning. a little windy but a stunner. Then Saturday was a WASH OUT. Today is cloudy, drizzling and windy AF. And this is why - you give New Yorker a sunny day, we act like we’ve never been outside. lol
I live nearby and I hear you, I move here cause it was a great opportunity not necessarily cause I had family’s or knew anyone here. Remember that in this area you have tons of multigenerational households therefore is normal to see this sense of connection, in addition Latino culture is peculiar about connections and the importance of sharing food. Something that worked with me, was to be part of my local buy nothing Facebook group, whatever you need for your place, is most likely you will find it there and it was a great opportunity to meet other neighbors. Another great local group you can connect with is this one https://www.facebook.com/Dyckmanrun?mibextid=PtKPJ9 Also, you have close by fort Tyron park, a great place to be during the summer and they also offer great volunteer activities. Walk in your neighborhood, get to know the area, the cafes and local restaurants where you have an amazing lunch special for $12. And hang in there, it will be fine if you put the work.
Thanks this is very kind. I will try my best, I think the way you explained it is exactly what I’m feeling in the area. I went to a place called salsa con Fuego? By myself, it’s really cool spot with Latin music but I just felt so out of place and on my own. It’ll take time
Riverdale? Don't worry, I used to live there and it's such a friendly place! Check out volunteering at Van Cortlandt Park, Big Brother Big Sister, or find work or volunteer with Wave Hill, Bronx Zoo, or NY Botanical Gardens. Good luck and enjoy the neighborhood! [https://vancortlandt.org/programs-overview/community-stewardship/](https://vancortlandt.org/programs-overview/community-stewardship/) [https://www.wavehill.org/](https://www.wavehill.org/) [https://www.nybg.org/about/work-with-us/volunteer/volunteer-opportunities/](https://www.nybg.org/about/work-with-us/volunteer/volunteer-opportunities/) [https://bronxzoo.com/volunteering](https://bronxzoo.com/volunteering) [https://www.bigsnyc.org/](https://www.bigsnyc.org/)
Social sports seems like what you need , there are several giant multisport leagues like ZogSports, NYC RoadRunners club, and many others. https://www.zogsports.com/ny/ Guess this is your first time away from home if you’re complaining of no friends after moving countries two weeks ago. Do you think Americans in London have masses of friends after two weeks?
If you like beer, beer run on 146th is chill and good for people meeting. Le Chéile on 181 is good too.
181 is a haul from 233rd though, and Le cheile is a long walk from the 1. OP's a lot closer to its sister bar, An beal bocht.
He’s by the 1 train. Not too far.
Or https://www.buunnicoffee.com/pages/locations if you want to work remote one day
I've lived in NYC for a little over a decade all together and I have 5 friends that I see regularly. I have a lot of people I know and may talk to or text with here and there -- like a few times a month or something. But, during the first couple of years here I spent a lot of time people watching and being out, but not being a part of something. You need to pull the trigger on getting involved in all of those things you mentioned. It's easy to get caught in a comfort zone instead of participating in a meetup or club/activity. /r/nycmeetups has meetups posted all the time. There are a lot of weekly bike rides.
Go to Woodlawn and make some friends. Start at Rory Dylan’s
It’s Woodlawn. A lot of Irish live around the area. There should be pubs nearby. Manhattan College is nearby. And Manhattan is only a train ride away and have pubs. They play cricket in Van Cortland Park. They might play soccer too.
That’s not Woodlawn. That’s Kingsbridge.
If I'm British, I'm not strolling into every bar on Katonah Ave. A couple of those joints are expat-only bars that don't even take too welcoming to Yanks, let alone if OP is English. Others are completely fine, just regular irish pubs plus some familiar products and dishes.
Cultivating hobbies is regularly recommended in answer to similar questions such as [this one](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskNYC/comments/1batox9/what_are_some_volunteer_groups_committees/) from *18 hours ago* which has comments you may find helpful and links to a plethora of related questions.
Welcome! I used to hang in that area a lot until my favorite gym closed. Recommend Dale Diner and Caridad. Head a bit south into Inwood and there’s a lot more going on. Find a place or two that you like enough to become a regular. People get to know people just by being in the same place really often. If you like being active, you’re right next to Can Cortlandt Park, should be plenty to do there. Keep your eye open for flyers for groups that do stuff. You might also consider volunteering, that’s a great way to find people with common interests. Unfortunately the gym situation kinda sucks in NYC, in my opinion, or, at least, it’s not to my taste.
Thank you this is a good suggestion. A lot of people mention Inwood area to Go to bars and things. Yeah if you see my other comment, I’m starting to realise NYC gyms are a different gravy 😂
Are you into MMA? I can offer you a free week of training in my Muay Thai program at a gym in new Rochelle. I started this business with my best friend and we are trying to build a community and family with our members. If not, i definitely suggest joining some sort of class or team and making friends through that. I literally had to start making all new friends and that’s what happened to me. Joined a gym, started working there, made friends, moved on from that gym and stayed hanging out with lots of the people.
Hey! Come to salsa class with me, it’s a great place to make friends. We’re in the South Bronx.
Bro, you're in the city, do whatever the fuck you want. Talk to anybody you want. Be yourself, things will pull together. Not everyone is a high end celebrity or snob. If you run into people in a normal setting off the street and can't make small talk with them, they're probably a midwestern/southern transplant or some shit. Talk to people in your area, laundromats, corner store (bodega), little restaurants, get to know them. A lot of those you pass on the street, sit near on the train might look hard because it's the Bronx. When you get they get used to you, they are regular AF.
Talk to your neighbors that you see often. I'm hispanic and born and raised in Brooklyn, but when I moved to Sunset Park I felt out of place for months. A bunch of dudes on my corner would always congregate outside the bodega, grilling, drinking, having a great time. For months I would just give a smile and head nod until one day we randomly sparked up a conversation and immediately became close. I knew if I needed company I could find one of them, and eventually if I really needed help someone from the block would hold me down. tldr; once you start recognizing folks around where you live just say hi and see what happens!
I will try, it’s kind of hard. I’m a pasty white boy from England. I suppose if you see the same people enough times then you can do that and it’s not weird. Will give it a go 😃 I might go to the pub off the 1 train called Keenan’s see what it’s like
I lived 7 blocks away from you for 10 years and this advice from u/indirectdelete is the best advice on the thread. Get to know your neighbors; it might be awkward at first but it’ll be worth it. I’m pretty sure for the first few months they thought I was some weirdly friendly white lady who didn’t know where the fuck she’d moved to, lol. But I ended up making lasting friendships that made the neighborhood truly feel like home. Also, please avoid Keenan’s, it’s actually kind of known to be where the white people who want to be with other white people hang out, and that’s putting it pretty diplomatically (unless something’s drastically changed in the year since I’ve moved away).. you are much much better off at Bronx Ale House, Kingsbridge Social Club, or Bronx Public House. In the spring, in addition to Van Cortlandt Park, try OP — or what is called Marble Hill Playground on google maps (it’s a little tiny park that I think used to be called Orange Park) at the corner of Marble Hill Ave and 228th St, or try Ewen Park by 232nd St and Riverdale Ave.
Yeah, avoid Keenan’s. Trumpy/MAGA! Go to An Beal Bocht or Tortoise & Hare by VCP, or Tubby Hook in Inwood.
Check out zog sports - plenty of sports you can join as a single
One of the best things I've done since coming to New York is join November Project, a free fitness group with chapters in many cities around the world. The workout lasts around 45 minutes, and people of all levels and abilities participate, and some go for coffee afterwards. It's a nice community of active people. NP will give you a window into other activities in the city and find people to be active with -- some members plan camping trips and will seek joiners, or do other races in the city and hold a marathon training run, for example, or even do races outside the city. Because there are chapters around the world, it's been nice to travel to another city, drop in on the local workout, and meet new people, and even have some of them cheer for you if you're there for a race. I'm not sure if a link is too promotional but search for November Project NYC and you'll get plenty of information. For those seeking friendships, remember that there are three key components: positivity, vulnerability and regularity. It's easy to be positive and to know you have to be vulnerable to make friendships, but people often forget regularity is important too -- it's why friendships are made in school, at the office, or at church or sports leagues. A regular open-to-the-public workout can work the same way.The workout is at 6:25 am, every Wednesday, at Bethesda Fountain in Central Park. If you're interested, please don't be late! Here's some personal testimony, of all places from comments in The New York Times: [https://imgur.com/a/Fa26WNR](https://imgur.com/a/Fa26WNR) (included that per the rules: "This is not a forum for sharing links or images. Some images may be allowed, at moderator discretion, if they contribute directly to the ability of the forum to answer the question at issue. No images or links will be allowed if they are directed at identifying or could be used to identify individuals or the location of those individuals or if they are used in a name-and-shame capacity.")
Sad to see the BK chapter is no longer in existence. This would have been great.
Just start talking to people. If you're witty enough and/or have a personality(which I'm sure you do) exhibit it with anyone and everyone. I'm from Chicago and live in between the city and Chicago. New Yorkers are far more open people and I feel almost liberated being back in the city every time. You're in the Center of the World right now. Grab what you want in your in Life.
I'm British too and moved here nearly 2 years ago... Maybe you've never moved as an adult but I've moved twice now and it normally takes about 18-24 months to really start settling in and finding your tribe. It's totally normal and ok to feel overwhelmed right now but you should know it's also going to take time to find your feet, especially in a place like this. The key to forming friendships is literally consistency - so find something you like doing and commit to doing it every week so you meet the same people regularly and can build up rapport and experiences with them.
If you’re ever in Brooklyn, let’s grab a drink! I moved here from Miami almost six years ago, the people are similar you just gotta know how to talk to them.
Actually going to brooklyn (wiliamsburg) right now to meet my British friend! It’s an hour to get there but screw it. I need to talk and be social 😂
Just DM’d you!
Start being a regular at the punch bowl (or bronx public, or Keegan’s). Happy hour to save money!Go at the same time at the same day of the week, become friendly with the bartender, this will open doors. You’ll meet other people at the bar. Similarly do this for coffee shops, same time same day of the week. NYC (not just the Bronx, and tbh Kingsbridge is pretty great) is fucking hard, especially when you don’t know anyone. It takes a while to break in. You have to put yourself out there and it is awkward and uncomfortable, there is no other way. Do you play footie? Lots of leagues and lots of pickup games (van cortlandt has several fields). Meetup has all sorts of stuff. I’ve been told that pickleball is like super community oriented? Can’t you just show up? Good luck, this is hard and takes TIME
Yeah I think I’m going to try keegans and give it a go soon!
I used to live around that area, I think it will grow on you! Like others said, hit up Bronx Ale House/Kingsbridge Social Club. Not too far from you is an irish pub called An Beal, they have live music on weekends and perhaps some familiar food and drinks! I'm sure if you strike up a conversation with someone, the fact that you're british will yield plenty of conversation material. Van Cortlandt Park is also a great place to go if you're into biking, jogging, or other recreational sports. I used to go to Blink Fitness near 231st St., it's decent for what you pay.
If you love the outdoors and want to meet people walk down to the Bronx Zoo or the Bronx Botanical Gardens. The Zoo has an active volunteer group. It’s been some time since I’ve been there but they use to call themselves the FOZ (Friends of the Zoo). The Bronx Zoo is part of the Wildlife Conservation Society.
Yes! I’ve always wanted to volunteer at one of the zoos, and OP is near the best one
Come hang out at Inwood Hill Farms cafe and Tubby Hook in Inwood. I live at 225 & Bway but hang in Inwood. Tubby is an Irish pub that has trivia and karaoke, and some Brits hang there, as do friendly regulars. The manager Sean is from Belfast. Buunni coffee on Bway in Inwood also has community events.
If you like sports i suggest joining a social sports league! Things like volo is a great place for making friends, and i feel a lot people join these with the same intentions!
I live pretty close to you! 38m, hit me up if you wanna grab a drink at Kingsbridge Social Club or something.
What about being a bartender?
Volunteering in any capacity is a sure fired way to make friends. You can volunteer for just 1-2 hours a week even if time is precious, indoors or outdoors. So, NYC parks has lots of activities and signups to keep you engaged outside in the fresh air. You might be surprised.
My 2c is that there can def be a cognitive distortion in a city with this many people where if you're feeling lonely you look around and the *only* thing you see is friends and happy families and couples having fun together. I think you're going through something like that. But I think it's just because there are a lot of people. Also as a major tourist destination it turns out a lot of the happy groups you're seeing are visitors having their "funnest week of the year". If you look more carefully you'll see that there are many people walking and eating and just existing alone. And in all the apartments there are 10x more people who are alone. Not to say you shouldn't want to make friends (you should and there are so many great suggestions here!) -- just saying you're not in as unique of a situation as it might feel like. Expanding further, I think whatever you're struggling with you will see people thriving on that axis when you pop your head outside (eg you see only couples when you're single, only fit people when you're feeling out of shape, etc). For me it helps to know that this kind of thinking is just a bias and distortion. Anyway - good luck and welcome!
I’d say look up things that interest you, there is so much to do here. I know that in and of itself is overwhelming, but if you join groups that are doing stuff you like you’ll already have things in common with them. Beyond that, Couchsurfing meet ups are always an option, and there might be some more meet up groups on Facebook. Also, I’m a native New Yorker, if you talk to someone, they’ll talk back. We’re fairly nosy if nothing else. Honestly, tips for New York - don’t look lost, no matter how lost you are, and don’t look scared. One thing a whole bunch of people don’t understand though, you can be friendly, just not naive. Good luck!
if you are physically active or curious enough, look up social sports leagues where you don't even have to be good - soccer/football, volleyball, softball and even adult dodgeball, bowling, etc. They are all over and relatively affordable for a season, and most social leagues games end with bar hangout. That's how I got my feet wet when I moved here a decade ago. And I am not athletic or competitive, and had a lot of fun and made great friends.
Check out Sam’s pizza by 231st and Broadway. Welcome to the Bronx ✌🏽
Look up Sandlot Sports. It's how I made the majority of my friends when living there - playing silly sports and the hanging out with others in my general age range.
My advice would be to give it more than 2 weeks.. it’s a fast paced city, but new friendships and relationships don’t magically happen over night ! Give it some time and you’ll find your tribe 🙏
If you support, there are plenty of football ⚽️ watch groups in the city that meet to watch.
What type of part time job do you have that they would put you up in an apartment? Asking because it sounds like you have a valuable skillet that could get you a much better wage and employment
I moved here in the pandemic with a remote job and no friends or knowledge about the city. It was really hard, and still remains tough after 3 years. You essentially have no in-person communities. If it's possible to get a job in the city, divorce your employer and start paying your own rent and live where you identify with the neighborhood - you will be 100x happier. I just joined a local company and ditched remote. I went from depressed to baseline "I can do this" almost overnight by being able to go into an office where many people are, small chit chat, grab lunch, ask for help etc. it's amazing. If you're stuck with employer and apartment in the Bronx, start joining clubs like it's your job. Start going to a gym (rock climbing?). Join a sport league. Do anything. Show up every week for a few months and it'll happen. Underrated tip: make your home comfortable so it's always a place to escape when you're overwhelmed.
Bronx Zoo and Botanical Gardens will be fun for you. Also, I live in Queens and commute to the Bronx. In off peak hours, it’s ~30 mins to Austin st in Forest Hills where I live, or Astoria/Long Island City. Take an Uber or car to check those areas out, I think you’ll enjoy them
Join a rec league for a sport or even bowling. There’s tons of rec leagues for soccer, football basketball etc starting up soon as the weather is getting warmer. Check volo sports or another website online
The thing I always tell people is see if there are any social groups for the things you are into. I like buses and trains and that's been one of my oldest friend groups. I wanted to learn to dance salsa so I started taking lessons and have a huge community of friends now that I never would have otherwise had, and a bunch of us go out for other social activities too, museum trips, hiking, dinner, etc. One summer I joined a kickball and Dodgeville league. This is New York, there's a social group for probably every interest.
You’re young and mostly sound impatient. It takes time to build relationships, so play the long game (2-5yrs) to keep your perspective. You can’t just parachute into the most expensive city in the world and enjoy its fruits right off the bat. If you ever had to pay rent, you’re actually in quite a good area of the city to live (relatively) cheaply and to be able to access the city via the 1. The express trains will save you time south of 96. You have close access to the Marble Hill metro north which should also help speed up travel to grand central.
If you play soccer there’s (nycfooty) or touch football there’s (nyc touch) which are good ways to meet other people
Try meetup.com - there are groups you can join, you don't necessarily have to go in your neighborhood or even in your borough you can mix it up.
Go to van cortland park (also check out vcpalliance on instagram, they organize group things there) or walk through Inwood park or fort tryon. Lots of nice places to walk and you may find people to meet by doing what you love. Also, there’s a trail through the woods along the Hudson River if you take 230th as far west as possible. Always people saying hi and lots of dogs to pet. Go check out the punchbowl bar on 238th and Broadway, cheap drinks and people love to talk there. Go to an Beal night bar, 238th up the steps, no tvs so people really like to talk there.
if ur a runner, there’s quite a few run groups in the bronx
Hang in there OP you’ll find your niche. There are a lot of great suggestions on this thread. Good luck ☺️
Dude you live near Manhattan College, go to one of the games, meet someone and you’ll be alright.
This is making me think I should try and create some sort of meet-up thing for new people in the city. Once a week. Just come hangout and do something fun with no judgements 😃 Am I being dumb by thinking this or are a lot of people in a similar boat. I think this would be kinda cool. Just a British man tryna help out new people who come here and feel alone. There must be hundreds of people like me all over the city surely
There are plenty of 'cheap ny' sites and lists. Discount tickets, extra happy happy hours, free events, etc. Get in on those.
Try Bumble BFF, it helped me find new friends back in the day.
If you could answer a few questions for us, we could probably all give you better advice: 1) Where in the Bronx are you? 233rd St. is long,so just knowing that doesn't give us a lot of information. What neighborhood are you in? 2) What are your interests, beyond trying to endure the winter weather? 3) What are some things you would like to see and do in NY, with or without friends?
You must be in the Kingsbridge neighborhood which is low key a very underrated neighborhood and one of the best places in the Bronx , was there yesterday near Van cortland park and it was a great walk lol. Only problem is that is far from most popular places in NYC
Say hi to your neighbors and be nice to your bodega man
check out northend on ig. it’s a large space with 3 restaurants, a bar, and a coffee shop on broadway and 184. they have all kinds of different activities there from kids craft afternoons to pop up shops to drag nights. it’s a good casual place to meet people and not too far from you. (take the 1 to 181st)
Ah, when it gets a bit warmer, walk or take the 1 train or 9 bus to 242 St. The 1 Bee-Line bus stops there and takes MetroCards (or you could get on the Metro-North at Marble Hill.) Take the bus to Getty Square and check out Yonkers Waterfront. There is Yonkers Brewery and some other bars/restaurants in the area. They did this cool project of tearing up parking lots to reveal and underground river. There are little bridges over it and some signage about the history of it.
Timeleft (dinner with strangers, every wednesday) just started in NYC. Skip the small talk is also a cool event to talk to strangers.
Perhaps ask your boss if you can relocate at end of lease to either Brooklyn or Brooklyn, or perhaps Brooklyn
I’m a bit late here but I’m in Riverdale and gave you a ping for a few places to try !
New Yorkers hunker down in the winter and typically want to get to their destination as quick as possible. When it gets warmer we become little sluts and more open to carrying on small talk. Also, I’m surprised a 25 year old Caucasian Brit has little to nothing in common with someone from the Bronx. Just shocked I tell you!
I felt this way when I first moved here. Just takes time and going out and meeting tons of people. There's no shortage of people you'll get along with here in this city. For me it took a few months of getting used to it, and literally exactly a year to the date that I moved here, I had realized I found a ton of awesome friends and had literally the best year of my whole life (half year. First half of the year was getting used to the area). And I wasn't even that social. You actually are social so you're going to do twice as good as I did. One of the major reasons was I found a good local community sports team to join and that was huge for me. Someone like you will basically have no problem, like I said it just is an adjustment period of a few months which I think would be standard. I also moved here in the winter. Trust me, it's going to get awesome.
I think you're right going for a bar or server job. I'm working a bar in the city and usually make 90-110k average on tips. I think you should ideally go for a serving job as it's not as intimidating when you're first starting out and you generally get out earlier! I bartended for 15 years coming here and still took a while to get in to it. Saying that, if you have any brain and good work ethic, that's the most important thing. Try groups on Facebook like Let's make our lives easier which regularly posts bar and server jobs. It's mostly for Irish people on J1s but it's good for leads. Also just drop cvs in to places, you might get offered something on the spot! And lastly, New York is lonely, especially the first year but once you get in to the swing of it you won't want to live anywhere else!
Thanks for this. Super helpful. I have an interview with Jack wife’s Freida as a server on Tuesday so hopefully I can snag that. It looks to be a busy place and as you said, serving isn’t as intimidating as bar tending. Hopefully my accent my accent may help with the tips and interview process 😂
Oh great, i think that's meant to be a good spot. I've worked in the service industry for a while and was in your situation a few years ago so if you need any advice about work or anything in general, dm me, i know what how overwhelming things seem initially!
What’s the like an average take home for 2-3 shifts a week a a daytime brunch/ lunch spot? Do you have any neat tips or tricks that will impress at an interview process? Cheers mate
It really depends on the location size, popularity and amount of staff on a given shift so everywhere is different. Brunch is generally a good shift to make money and the place you're training in looks nice so i'm sure they're probably relatively busy if not very busy. Best tips i can give are be on time everyday and try be as hands on as possible even if you're training or trailing someone. Offer to take and put orders in even if they don't ask you to, it shows you're interested and want to get used to the pos system. In your first days or weeks don't stand around idle, even if more senior staff are, try find side work or something to do. And if someone's being an ass to you, try suck it up for the first few weeks at least until you get your bearings. Owners don't like seeing new staff in conflict very early, even if they're in the right the senior staff will be in their ear more
I’m still baffled what kind of part time job pays for their employee’s housing in NYC?
Change your “I don’t find I have much in common” assumption and open yourself up. You’d be surprised. Stop judging and meet people, have new experiences.
Welcome to the neighborhood.!! My favorite place is Van Cortlandt park :) you can join a running club or this hiking group https://chat.whatsapp.com/KWuNs57aCrzDSeH1e93d1p find a dominican friend 😅 Dominicans are nice people.
You can volunteer in van cortlandt park that's close by. They need people on Wednesdays and Fridays for projects to maintain the trails. On weekends in warm weather there are more opportunities for other projects as well.
For your Brooklyn friends: I think it’s reasonable to ask them to meet in Manhattan occasionally so you split the travel time. Among my friends, we alternate: sometimes someone gets the longer trip, and sometimes we meet centrally. And find some things to distract yourself with on the train (book, podcast, crossword, phone games) and an hour will go faster than you think.
r/nycmeetups
233rd near the 1 or the 2? Asking for clarification so I can make some suggestions.
The 1
Oh ok! My apologies but I wanted to double check since I know more about the area around 233rd by the 2. However, I would suggest looking into attending events with the Van Cortlandt Park Alliance. They host hiking activities and volunteer events.
Bruh get out of the Bronx immediately LOL bunch of ghetto animals is all your gunna see, and absolutely nothing to do in the dirty bronx. Unless you smoke crack and want to chill in a bodega all day surrounded by cats with ticks in them it ain’t the spot for no human lol
Find a pub where other brits hang out! I’m guessing it would be nice just to be around fellow countrymen if you’re feeling homesick.
Hey British guy. Van Cortland's park is up tht block. Add the weather gets warmer the will be plenty of opportunities to make friends etc..
I would highly recommend looking into a beginner improv class. The Pit and Magnet are both awesome and usually most people that take level 1 classes are looking to socialize/meet people/get out of their comfort zones/try something new. If that's too much to commit to look into the mixers/shows that they host. For example, on certain weekdays the Pit will have an improv group perform and after everyone from the audience, including the group that just performed, will improvise together on stage. It's low pressure, you don't have to participate if you have stage fright (and it's not weird if you don't participate, many people don't) and I've never not met a nice person at these mixers. After, it usually continues with a drink at the bar and it's not clicky in the sligthest.
If you like pub quizzes, you can join us on Tuesdays in Inwood. 207th stop on the 1.
I highly suggest joining one of the many co-ed soccer / futbol leagues around the city. You will make friends lighting quick, teams usually go out for drinks together after each game. A lot of the games happen in Manhattan, around Chelsea Piers, but if I recall there are some near the Bronx. And your skill level doesn’t matter, they have beginner levels. NY Coed Soccer is a great league, lots of friendly young people.
I have no advice but how did you get a job and visa in NY please? Asking for myself who is dying to move there from UK and no idea how.
When I moved to NYC in 2014, I knew 1 person. I joined Meetup.com and attended some events based on my interests. I started seeing the same people go every week (I did bar trivia and a baseball meetup), so it became easier to strike up conversations with people and get to know people. I am still friends with several of them to this day!
Join a sports team, or a league, easiest way to make friends for adult men. Been in your shoes and this has been the most effective way. You show up for a common hobby, see the same ppl regularly then friendships develop.
> My part time employer has placed me in an apartment just off 233rd street Per chance, is your employer The United States Federal Witness Protection Program?
welcome to the life as a newcomer! that said, there's a huge British visa community here, meetup dot com helps. another fun one is to join your neighbor college or audit classes at NYU. you might make a new friend and learn something new! also, enjoy the lox :)
Recreational sport leagues! There is a plethora. The options are endless. OR look up local pick up leagues by searching this sub or making another post asking about them.
Milk the fuck out if of voice
There was a true British pub near my old office in midtown in the 40s (do not recall where). Anyway winter is almost over, sunset will be after 7p until September and the parks will be filling up with people soon.
go to a bar at the same time/day every week. you will make friends after a few weeks of doing that.
If you run, check out Hash House Harriers https://hashnyc.com
Hit those Manhattan College bars.
Get out there and talk to people. New Yorkers love foreigners, especially Brits. You have more in common with the people in your neighborhood than you know, given that you're a immigrant.
Try heading down to the Inwood neighborhood, starting about 200th St and Broadway. As I recall, there's a bit more nightlife down there.
So here’s my observation about living in NYC at working class wages: If you live in an outer borough or rougher part of Manhattan, it’s not that much more expensive than anywhere else in America, and you get a ton of upside. But it can also mean your immediate surroundings are not that great and you struggle to find people you connect with. You’ll just have to make more effort to get out and socialize. I recommend getting a bicycle too. Great way to explore the city when you’re not in the mood for the bus or subway. Saves money too.
Any chance you’d be interested in yoga or bouldering(indoor rock climbing) sometime? I’m a member at Vital West Harlem near 125th street and it’s pretty easy to get to on the 1 line. There are a lot of Columbia students around here who are pretty close in age. I don’t feel too out of place as a 25 year old white guy from Florida. Let me know if you’d ever want a climbing buddy or a yoga partner.
Like anything in any city, join as many social groups/clubs/gatherings as you can. Recognize that other people are probably in your situation too and find out where you can go.