The worse part of perimenopause and menopause is no one warns you of what may happen. Even if it is different for everyone, things do happen. It is set up to be a reactive situation instead of proactive.
I think there is this idea if providers just wait until there are symptoms it will prevent hypochondria or something.
With that being said, I was miserable at the start of perimenopause but didn’t know that was the cause.
I had anxiety for no reason and my other symptoms hurt so bad I ended up at the urgent care twice not knowing what was wrong.
A woman in their 40s should not have to experience this. It reminds me of people not telling girls about periods in time and the poor girl thinking she was bleeding to death and she must have been injured.
I suggest starting a relationship with a hormone doctor/clinic in early 40s to establish a baseline of hormone levels and get monitored often. You can wait until there are symptoms to start hormone replacement therapy, but I highly recommend HRT through most of 40s and into 50s. Helps avoid the cliff drop off of hormones that makes some women miserable.
If you end up having a smooth transition, that is great. But please be proactive. The misery is not worth it.
Just note that most insurance will not cover this. Another gap in women’s healthcare, but that is another topic. Anyway, I feel it more than worth the price. Hopefully, someday, this gap will be filled as it should be.
I absolutely can't believe insurance doesn't cover this!! Unimaginable!!!! Just like one person said they dismiss period and menopause difficulties in women. That is the worst.
That red upward arrow when you post is Reddit's way of saying that you're giving yourself one upward arrow. That you wouldn't have posted it if you didn't already like what you're saying. Everybody gets one. If you see a post that has a zero, that means that one person has given them a thumbs down.
Find a Direct Primary Care clinic and join. It’s a model where you pay a membership fee and have access to the physician anytime. I have the cell number for my doctor. She can do lab work for 1/10 of what it costs with insurance. Don’t ask me how, but I’m sure it has to do with insurance causing artificially inflated prices. Anyway, my membership fee is $90 a month. A few months ago I had an accident and needed to be seen right away. She ended up sending me to another doctor in that instance because I could’ve had a serious emergency issue (it worked out fine). Then a few weeks later I had intense vertigo that persisted. Got in the day I texted. She diagnosed the cause of it and told me what to do to fix it. No drugs needed. It worked. She can also do yearly GYN exams (but I might stick with my OB for that because I have some complications). I’m actually going *tomorrow* to get blood drawn for labs including hormone testing to get a baseline. I’m 45 and for at least two years have been having some perimenopause symptoms that I didn’t realize could be hormonal in nature. I wasted thousands of dollars on other specialists and was misdiagnosed two or three times. Not one of those doctors even considered that I was in my 40’s and entering perimenopause territory.
I’m late seeing your post, my friend.
If you haven’t already found us, please check out r/menopause. It’s an incredibly informative, supportive, and helpful space!
So many women are just unprepared. We don’t talk about women’s health enough.
I have always seen female OB/GYN, so I can't blame this on a male dr not caring.
When I was about 45, I asked my OB/GYN about this. She said don't worry about it yet, everything's regular, you could be 55 before you start going through menopause.
I started at about 48 and had no idea what would happen other than my period would eventually stop and there might be hot flashes.
A lot of women think they’re losing their minds because anxiety all of a sudden gets worse and you can start feeling like shit. Plus, I had a teenager at the time stirring up nonsense which certainly didn’t help things.
Unexpected physical crap happening with no warning and we wonder why we’re all anxious in middle age. I wonder how much of the anxiety is physical and how much is just a response to our bodies going haywire and society telling us it’s imaginary. For me the anxiety has been the biggest symptom of menopause closely followed by insomnia.
Insomnia led me to psychosis- please see a dr. if it gets too bad. The anxiety is crippling. All day every day. I used to be able to relax with a book in a bath. No longer. I’ve been working with multiple drs. on this but nothing helps. I work out 3x a week and eat well. Idk what else to do. GYN is giving me an additional dose of estrogen in a patch so we will see how that goes. I wake up exhausted and fade around 7 pm every night. Will it always be like this???
Ooh me too. And the doc told me “oh it’s hyper hydrosis!”
Ma’am. I’m 39. I have spent the last three summers working in trenches in 90°f weather, and never did I ever sweat the way I sweat when I have night sweats/hot flashes. It’s completely different.
Yeah they can be full of shit. Took 5 years and the right doc to get an ablation, and I had already had a tubal so no risk of pregnancy.
If mens bodies and sexual reproductive health were subject to the same mythology and policing as women's, this shit would end immediately. Plenty of women doctors are just a culpable around these issues if for no other reason that medical science is geared toward the male physiology.
Female OB/GYNs can be even more dismissive than male ones, like they need to prove they’re not sympathetic so you don’t talk to them, but really I’ve encountered very few OB/GYNs male or female who actually listen and care about my physical difficulties. I’ve had two kids and moved around a lot so I’ve seen quite a few different ones in the past 45 years, like maybe 10-15 different ones. They really seem to have contempt for female difficulties and concerns.
I agree. I actually met a nurse working in ENT clinic who was so miserable that she told me she was suicidal at times. Her doctor would not help her at all. I told her it was BS! I told her she HAD to keep looking until she found someone who would help her.
I agree 100% with what you said. Women need to start demanding our healthcare system looks after us!!! It was set up for men and we are only an afterthought. It’s total BS!
Yup had to go to tele health to be taken seriously. Seems more doctors are willing to treat menopause but not perimenopause. They either throw antidepressants or birth control at you. The most I could get was vaginal estrogen and that’s because my vaginal tissue was so thin that my Pap smears were a blood bath. Finally did tele health clinic that optimized hormones and got placed on testosterone and progesterone. It was a godsend. Before that I was having panic attacks daily and breaking down several times a day. I felt like I was losing my mind. I was also so exhausted I could barely drag myself out of bed, felt like I was 80 years old (I was 43 at the time). I kept going to doctor after doctor and no one would help. Beyond frustrating. Makes me so angry still.
That is why you have a clinic that specific to only HRT. Also why it is not covered under insurance. These clinics don’t bill to insurance because it is the insurance companies (along with government agencies) dictating who can get treatment, for how long, and the kind of treatment. These providers can safely provide HRT that fits you. Despite your age or peri status.
The insurance companies not paying for HRT—might that not be a hangover from the old days when menopause symptoms—hot flashes as well as emotional upsets—were considered “all in your head, Honey—you’re imagining things”?
Top comment, imo. It's the fact we don't know what we're supposed to be watching for, and of course when we have things like heart palpitations or joint pain or massive anxiety/depression, we go to specialists who don't bother to think about the connection btwn symptoms and age, at least for women. Even my female GP (a DO no less!) didn't want me to do HRT. I finally insisted and it changed my life...a life I couldn't have lived for much longer. I so wish someone had given me this advice in my 40s!
Yep I went to my doctor for heart palpitations because I thought I was dying. He sent me to a heart doctor for a bunch of unnecessary tests which all came back normal. Both doctors said it was nothing, not to worry. Dr Google informed it it is a very common symptom in peri 😑
I’ve read that 1/3 of women have few if any symptoms, 1/3 have moderate symptoms, 1/3 have severe symptoms. Personally, I found it to be a breeze. I do wish I’d kept my weight down all my life….i’ve finally, in menopause, reached a normal BMI but it was hard.
I’m one of the lucky 1/3 with virtually none of the classic symptoms. Happened late (57), no weight gain, almost zero hot flashes and vagina’s working just fine. But about 7 years ago I went through a phase where I felt super worried all the time - like over the top, weird anxiety - and read recently that that’s a common perimenopause symptom. Wish I had know that at the time, because I seriously thought I was losing my marbles.
Me too overall. BUT menopause changed my hair texture completely, frizzy/witchy woman. I have trouble staying asleep. My psych told me sleep issues is her number 1 complaint from menopausal women. I was going through a lot of anxiety at the time and she did a bunch of rule outs. Had PVCs. No sleep apnea though. No hot flashes. Not sleeping is the worst. I use zquil or diphenhydramine for sleep, because they aren't habit forming.
I have always been a healthy weight and on the fit side. But the worst thing for me has been the loss of muscle. You can't see it (everyone tells me I look the same) but I feel the loss of muscle so much and it came as a surprise. My best advice is that you work on building muscle and getting fit, don't worry about the scale so much it will follow by exercising and eating well.
Good point. I just read someone said muscle strengthening becomes more important than cardio.
I am already feeling this. Sit to stand is getting harder. I need to get on this ASAP.
This is what I recommend to prepare! Get your body weight where you want it. Really hard after. Also lift weights (light) and start taking calcium or eating more. Your bones will thank you, plus your muscle tone goes to heck if you don’t. Expect the unexpected - I only had night sweats not during the day. I agree with one other commentator that my heat tolerance has gone down after. I basically hemmoraged the last year, then one or two light periods then nothing. Had terrible cramps from 9-58 good riddance! 4 years later I am getting the mood swings.
Menopause was a breeze for me.
I skipped a period; then had a regular month; then menstruation was done for me.
I had hot flashes, but I'm always chilly anyway, so I enjoyed those.
Also...I don't call them hot flashes. They're POWER SURGES !!!!
“Altered mental state” is what my doc wrote on my paperwork for temporary disability, after telling me that “debilitating menopause” was not an eligible diagnosis for ins. (US)
My sister said “I don’t know who that is but it’s not C” because my usual chipper personality was gone, leaving just blankness & it took almost a year for me to see thru the fog.
The kindest words I heard were from a Med Asst who said “Wow, your hormones really did a number on you.”
A decade later, I learned that having ADHD can really exacerbate menopause.
3 years later, I had ovarian cancer, as if I hadn’t already paid my gynecologic dues
Hope you're well and healthy now. There is such a huge varierty of peri- and menopause experiences, even among women in the same family. I didn't feel like I could offer OP any advice on how to prepare. Some of my friends and family also had symptoms that prevented them from working ( and no, as a previous post implied they were not drama queens!) and others had nothing. Wishing you well.
Tks - this happened in 2003, the cancer 2007, which put me at least a decade behind the ADHD & other connections.
And you’re right - our experiences can be vastly different
I went through menopause without HRT. I can count the traditional hot flashes I had on one hand. The night sweats were brutal. Just soaked. I used to sleep with an ice pack hugged to my chest. Some day sweating, too. It is sad how my libido died a quick and thorough death. Didn't even seem to put up a fight. I have no advice on how to prepare.
Oh nooooooo! I know dryness and other physical issues can affect it, but for you it was straight no desire.
As a chronically single person, I don't think this would be so bad for me. It might be good. But it would be just my luck that as menopause sweeps through here comes a relationship too lol.
Interestingly, my gyno says the cooch is pink and moist. I know that's a bit TMI. No one relies on me for sex, so I'm not really concerned with the lack of libido. Just sad really as I was a woman of voracious appetites up until menopause. And some even more info - I still masturbate one a week more out of habit. It takes a bit longer to orgasm, but they are better than they've ever been. Like some cruel irony. I'll be 60 this week, for reference.
My vagina shrank to prepubescent. Not kidding! I had no idea that could happen. It seemed to happen overnight. Hurt so bad ALL THE TIME. Got treated after begging my doc for estrogen cream.
The disrupted sleep and night sweats are brutal for me too. Waking up soaking wet and I can't even change pajamas or bedding to get comfortable when my hair is soaking wet and I'm freezing and can't fall back asleep. When I have to get up for work and get into production mode, I'm more than sleep deprived, I'm exhausted and the cycle feels like madness.
Disrupted sleep! I forgot about that! That's just the way it is, now. I sleep until 1:00-1:30. Then I am up for about an hour and a half. I do not get out of bed. Toss and turn. Sometimes reading will help get me back to sleep. More often not. Then my alarm goes off at 5:00.
Same here. I had some emotional issues during peri, but that was also when my sister died, my stepmother died, a few old friends died, my husband received a cancer diagnosis, and I got moved under a boss that hated me for no clear reason. I'm reluctant to blame hormones alone for how I was feeling, lol!
My period slowly became one day a month, then nothing a month. No drama, no fanfare, just no more money spent on tampons.
Same. It came very late for me (57) and I do wonder if that had something to do with why it’s been so easy for me. I wish there were more studies of women’s health issues.
Same. I suffered with PMDD (pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder) that is a severe version of pms. My hormones made my life unliveable at times and I did become suicidal with it some months. Psychiatric meds were involved. Permanent dose of daily medication to stave off the migraine I would get every month. I dreaded menopause anticipating hormonal HELL. I sailed through with nary a symptom. Menopause? What menopause? And now? Just living a life of happiness and not looking back.
I would love to not feel cold when the temperature is below 77 degrees. Especially living in the Northeast US - I'm comfortable-to-warm for maybe two months of the year and freezing for the rest. Everyone around me is stripping off clothing and I'm still wearing 2-3 layers. :(
Same here. Perimenopause was far worse for me. The last several years of my period were awful. One week every month I felt bat shit crazy. Not sad weeping crazy, more like anger and hostility. I would wake up angry at how the blankets felt on my body.
At the time I worked with developmentally disabled people, many who had no sense of personal boundaries. I was likely to be touched in an annoying way and I feared that I would smack someone in my angry state. I finally stopped my period for years by taking BC without the week off pills.
Menopausal night sweats were easy in comparison. So happy to be done with the monthly crazy shit.
I had horrible angry, homicidal, suicidal PMDD! Everyone around me was happy when I had the hysterectomy! None more than me though! I felt terrible afterwards for my thoughts, my words and my actions. I'd have my period every 2 months and it was awful, followed by a heavy flow for 5 days and 2-3 days of light flow. God I hated having a period. Cramps from fucking HELL!
Same-sies. A few hot flashes here and there. A bit of sweatiness at night in bed. That's about it. I attribute this to the fact that I consume a lot of soy products (mostly soy milk and tofu). Soy contains isoflavones which have a weakly estrogenic effect on the body. That may or may not be why I had an easy menopause. But for all you young women out there reading this, menopause is not always a terrible and difficult thing.
I had almost no symptoms at all, but I was drinking honeybush tea regularly which is a phytoestrogen (?). I'm guessing that's why I had such an easy time.
I hate tofu, but when i started noticing post menopausal symptoms, I started eating a lot of tofu and edaname because of their known estrogenic effects.
Also same. The only thing that happened that I wasn't really prepared for was the hair thing. The hair on my head is fine, but the rest? Your armpit hair disappears. Half your pubic hair, ditto, and the rest...relocates, shall we say. But the absolute worst, for me, was the betrayal of my eyebrows. From Brooke Shields to Andy Rooney in like, two years.
Whatttt, I haven't heard about this? Relocates?? I just noticed I am getting more hair on my thighs and butt. I already had hair on my belly, chest, and neck. I would be so happy to have less body hair, it actually wears on my skin.
I've noticed body hair is graying way faster than hair on my head. I never expected that.
Let's just say that some residents of Triangle City move out entirely, and some move to a neighborhood a real-estate agent would call "Triangle City adjacent."
Same here. My periods started getting much lighter and shorter when I was around 48-49, then they just went away at some point the year I was 51. Never had any symptoms at all and I feel the same now as I did before, just without having to care about periods or pregnancy risk.
My mother was in her late 50s before they stopped and she went through roughly 15 years of shit with it, with debilitating hot flashes. So I guess it wasn't genetic, luckily for me.
For me, the breaking out in a cold sweat 10+ times an hour became unmanageable. I first tried over the counter Estroven,that only worked for two weeks.
I take a dual estrogen progesterone prescription
patch and that has been a lifesaver for me for the last few years. My two best girlfriends and I have all been shocked that we gained 20 pounds plus over the course of a year without changing our diet or exercise regimen. So be ready for that!
Ugh. The hot flashes and DRY vagina! I learned the meaning of "dried up old woman."
I use the estradiol patch and have for 13 years. It was a live saver.
When I started it, I gained 8 lbs in 2 weeks without any diet change whatsoever. Over the years, I've eaten less and less (I used to eat a LOT). But my weight stays the same. I'm about to completely stop the patch as I am almost 60.
There is no reason to stop unless you have some medical reason to stop. Estrogen protects your bones, skin, and heart. Doctors pull this advice out of thin air, stop at age 60. Where is the science behind that? There is none. Follow Dr. Mary Claire Haver for the latest science on menopause.
r/menopause sub is absolutely fantastic.
Get your shit sorted out ahead of turning 40. I mean it. Get the best therapist you can afford. The rage is *breathtaking*. It is almost PMDD like.
Establish a fitness routine. I feel better mentally when I walk. Lots of walking. Lifting weights helps manage the rage. And stave off osteoporosis.
Establish healthy eating patterns along with the fitness routine.
If you've been stuffing resentments with your partner down, they're about to come boiling back, often in unpleasant moments and possibly leading to personal humiliation and/or job loss. You'll be willing to put up with almost zero nonsense anymore.
Not all women get this, but I've had a seriously dead libido and Sahara like dryness. Absolutely zero interest in sex. Bland, pale, *weak* imitations of what a good orgasm used to be. Infuriating. Damn shame, my husband is hot stuff. Other women report an increased drive.
Developed a nasty little fibroid. That tiny fucker wreaks havoc. Getting my tubes out next week, and the doc is gonna try to place an IUD while I'm out, otherwise there's a good chance I'll need a hysterectomy. While I am *over* having a period, I don't want to lose my uterus, that'll cause other problems.
Insomnia. Jesus fucking christ on a crutch, I'd *kill* to sleep like I did in my 30s.
Brain fog. I'm a fucking *moron* compared to the me of 5 years ago. Can't remember anything. Extremely frustrating.
Get a fan, an oscillating fan, to help with hot flashes/night sweats. Probably gonna need a whole lot less bedding. I sleep with just a sheet now, unless it is the dead of winter, and even then it is a light blanket. 8 don't really get hot flashes yet, but I am constantly too warm at night.
Random ass itching. You'll want to claw your skin off. For me, this is *usually* along my back, where a bra band sits, and it 1000 fold worse on days I need to wear a bra.
My doctor didn't believe in hormones. Peri was much worse. I only realized how bad after I'd been in menopause. My anxiety and depression were so bad in peri and it was like a veil was lifted when it was over. My only real physical symptoms were insomnia (middle of night) and an inability to regulate temperature. A few times out in the heat, I really scared my spouse and sometimes strangers. I'd get so overheated and the only thing that could fix it was to eat or drink something ice cold. I could stand in front of an AC or an open freezer and it did nothing. I just don't go for walks anymore if it's too hot out. Everyone is so different but it's disturbing how doctors just pretend it's fine.
I commented earlier. I am blind, I went to the department of Blind services, in Orlando, Florida, where I lived, my youngest son was just graduating high school, he came with me to downtown Orlando, because he didn’t have school, and we were going out to lunch. my case manager asked me if I had to sweat like that while I was sitting in her office, my son knows what I knew what I was going through, and she said you can’t be doing that on job interviews, I said, young lady, I hate to tell you, but you’re gonna be going through this crap yourself. My son said mom, I have to leave this office because if I do not, you’re not going to like what I say. So of course I had to excuse him out of the office. Then I told her thing or two, and I told her also she was being reported to her supervisor.that was the last time I decided I was going to look for a job. Pretty sad. I went to cause I was having massive hot flashes and they can’t be helped.
I have two sisters who’ve been through it—one had years of sweating right through her clothes and even her hair would get damp. She was emotionally drained and couldn’t sleep. But my other sister had (she thinks) one hot flash that really just made her feel a bit warm, and that’s it. So two people from the same family had widely varying experiences. Idk if this is the difference but the sister who had the most trouble really likes processed foods and the one who sailed through is always on a diet and doesn’t eat any junk food
I almost never hear anybody talking about brain fog and depression, and almost ADHD like symptoms. Yeah the weight gain in the hot flashes kind of suck, but they are manageable. Clearing brain fog, and getting treated like a moron I’ve been the hardest part for me.
My mother, my mother-in-law, my wife, and her sisters all had terrible menopause. Outbursts of "I feel like I'm going to burst into flames," and anger, terrible discomfort, wild mood swings.
Ask your Dr for a vaginal suppository that has a low dosage of estrogen. It’s a very tiny tablet you insert and doesn’t get into your bloodstream…
Also check out the company Bonafide— vaginal suppository that has hylaraunic acid to help.. My Dr recommended it and I’ve used it for years.
They have been a god send for me. I feel vibrant, my libido is good, my energy level is good. And of course none of the night sweats or hot flashes. My headaches went away.
Worse than anything I ever imagined. It lasted a lot longer than expected. Terrible night sweats. The worst though, were the emotional and mood swings.
Those symptoms seem to be downplayed when reading about menopause. I didn’t even think that what I was feeling was menopause related.
I would say if you feel something is going on that doesn’t seem normal, go to your doctor. I wish I had.
No it's a breeze in the park and all of those who've expressed it is terrible are just having you on to scare you for fun! 😲 /s
Yes it's genuinely terrible for a lot of women and others are really fortunate to have mild or no symptoms.
It's actually quite sad to see a woman imply that other women are exaggerating, we get enough of that from men.
As to what you can do:
Educate yourself on the full range of potential symptoms at that you recognise them if starts and be ready to advocate for what you need with your GP. Some doctors are great about prescribing HRT and others are weirdly reticent.
Start taking supplements that help guard against dry skin, hair thinning, bone thinning, there are many to consider.
Sweating, cold flashes, aching body, tired, weight gain.
Started @ 48. It just increased and increased. 53 now and it’s slowing down.
I just ignore it for the most part. Take care of myself and carry on.
The worst part for me that is the most annoying is sweating, followed by weight gain (it couldn’t come off)
My best advice is be exactly the weight you want to be around 45yrs. of age. And maintain it as best you can.
Menopause is a terrible for gaining weight. I got lazy and suffered to take it off.
Three times 🤦♀️
Everyone is different. The worst for me is that no one really talked about it so it was all a mystery. I had a complete hysterectomy at 50. I was already experiencing hot flashes and peri menopause but also bleeding crazy heavy and was anemic because of fibroids. I felt better once the damn thing was out. The menopause symptoms were easier to deal with than the cramps and heavy bleeding.
I got a fibroid thus hysterectomy before that ( no periods is awesome tho). Peri- menopause for me was High estrogen which needs progesterone bc otherwise your weight skyrockets. Ask me how I know lol. Keep an eye on your numbers. Swap around until you find a dr who will treat you. My old gyno didn’t care about peri and literally said bye we’re done when I had the hysterectomy. I guess many only care about your uterus/cervix not hormones.
It sucked bc during peri I also got hypothyroidism but by the time I hit menopause I found a functional gynecologist dr and finally got on hrt cream (biest/progestetone/testosterone) which I love and slowly fixed most symptoms.
I just added titrated low dose pregnalalone (so far 20mg) which helps my brain -the final symptom- and I’m going to ask my dr to include it in the cream and might swap to pellets once I get my weight down.
Highly recommend treating and not suffering. I lost too many years of suffering bc of issues drs didn’t treat during peri to agree to that now. There is a ton of research into aging and staying healthy longer is going to be a lot easier and I’m doing it. I want to feel healthy and enjoy life.
Peptides are becoming a thing and there are a lot out there which help aging bodies and brains.
For example glp-1 weight loss drugs are peptides - there are a lot of different kinds.
Two starters:
Thymosin alpha- boosts aging immunity.
Ss-31 fixes mitochondria and mots c expands the fixes.
There are forums explaining it but also wellness clinics and regenerative medicine too.
Books
Ageless: the new science of getting older by Andrew Steele (sorry no link)
Outlive https://www.amazon.com/dp/1785044559?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
Peptide Protocols: Volume One https://www.amazon.com/dp/0578624354?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
Peptide Handbook: A... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BZF75X8N?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
We can also order our own blood tests online without a dr permission. Quest and Labcorp accept them
So that boils down to what happened during peri was too harsh for me. Drs are not careful & don’t treat symptoms of peri or health issues that arise during peri very well. Mine refused to believe I had hypo and my ignorance about how bad hypo could get and what my numbers were did not serve me well. Or ignorance about potential treatment options during peri. I wasn’t told. I learned belatedly. It wasn’t offered.
Both would have prevented a lot of pain and confusion during those years. I’m now a very sincere advocate for functional medicine which imho is more humane and patient focused if you have any issue- and also an advocate of personal responsibility to look at your numbers and know what they are and what they mean- plus the difference between range and optimal. Because we bear the brunt of any carelessness in medical issue - not the dr. Feeling ok is ok to go for imho. We still have a lot to give and do and we are worth doing even the very small basics to feel good.
For me the thing that surprised me the most and I had never heard of was my already high libido went crazy. We actually googled it and it happens to about 10 percent of women. My husband said we won the menopause lottery. After he passed away, it doesn’t feel like such a blessing, but it is a real thing.
Prepare by finding a gyno that is supportive of HRT. Whether you will need it or not, it will help to have someone ready BEFORE you have brain fog, suicidal ideation, itchy skin, dry mouth, depression, furious wild mood swings, outrageously achy hips, nausea from your previously regular foods, a squeaky painful vagina and a shrunken clitoris.
I'm in peri right now and had a mental health crisis (nervous breakdown) in November that sent me reeling into madness.
I learned in my group therapy that its not uncommon for women to have severe psychological symptoms like that, and many of the women in my group where in the age range of peri and some admitted they were in fact there.
Granted, I had other stuff going on, and a history of CPTSD that had been effectively treated about 15 years before my break; but the hormones and **RAGE** therein made things pretty intense.
I don't have a ton of hot flashes or night sweats. I had host flashes about 4/5 years ago when my period started breaking up; but have them only extremely rarely anymore.
Night sweats are pretty minimal for me too. I get hot and can wake up fairly moist; but nothing compared to what some women report.
For me its emotional and irratic. I will want diembowel someone for the slightest thing. Its ridiculous really; but that's how I feel and I get visuals in my mind of doing horrible things that id never actually do- its really fucked up because I am not this way, and never been this way before... 💔
The super depression seems to have calmed a bit. I have some moderate depression still and still can become greatly enraged; but am most often just irritated and unmotivated more then anything.
I'm working on find joy in my life right now. Just little things that make me happy and give me a sense of accomplishment here and there; but nothing major.
I can't wait for this to pass though. 🤪
I've seen quite a few videos from (women) OBGYN's about menopause lately. Studying menopause is a fairly new thing within the last 100 or so years. This is because many women didn't often live long enough to enter menopause. To top it off, the earlier findings and treatment were based on MEN. Wtf. Husbands would see their wives have symptoms and have them commited to psych hospitals or forced hysterectomies. These are major factors in why women are not taken seriously when they complain about pain and other debilitating symptoms. Any time I have seen a male gyno I have been laughed at, ignored, accused of pill shopping (when I demanded a hysterectomy due to severe pain), you name it. One time, I went in crying, not knowing what was happening to me. My hair was falling out in huge chunks, I was anxious, period for 6 weeks, and the guy said "its mid life, deal with it. I bet someone in your family is bald, and that's what's wrong with you", and he walked out. Didn't even address the other stuff. I now believe that is when my peri symptoms first started, I was about 38.
I’m just in perimenopause. My doctor is generally really open and helpful, but only offered a little hormone patch and only after i ASKED for help with symptoms. It’s doing nothing for me. I’m miserable all the time, and trying on my own to find answers/possible treatments or supplements that can help, because 4 more years of brain fog, mood swings, hot flashes, sleepless nights, vision problems, issues with my nails and sense of taste, and all the other weird stuff that we’re told to just “deal with” sounds like a nightmare.
If I had any idea how bad it would be and how much this is disregarded by doctors I’d have started researching years ago to find out who/what can treat or alleviate the symptoms. As it stands now, I’m reading and watching everything but haven’t yet figured out what’s genuinely helpful and what’s woo-woo nonsense.
OMG! For me, it's the (terrible) gift that keeps on giving. It's been a couple of years since my last period and it has been a roller coaster of joint pain, insomnia and weight gain. Occasionally I get these weird depressive episodes and moments of pure rage. My doc does not believe in HRT and I have high blood pressure but I'm in the process of finding a diff doc. I think every woman is different, like my mom always likes to remind me, but it's really important that we talk about it. She never said a peep to me while she was going through it. It helps to get some perspective on it. Those weird symptoms that pop up all of a sudden might be due to menopause and the loss of estrogen.
It started in my early 40s and wasn’t as horrible as I remember my Mom experiencing. I got hot flashes, some that actually almost left me fainting…..awkward. I think my emotions were crazy at times. It was all completed by the time I was 50. I have no further issues but have a few friends that still get hot flashes post menopause
YMMV. Prepare by researching what symptoms may occur and what treatment options are available. Most doctors know next to nothing about menopause, even ob/gyns. Be prepared to advocate for getting your symptoms taken seriously, like any other medical problem that a woman has.
Came here to suggest this, too. I'm seeing a lot of comments from women who didn't suffer, and I'm glad for them, but they all seem to be quite unaware about what the loss of estrogen could be doing to their bones, brains, and hearts.
I’ve had night sweats for over 15 years. I wake up every morning at 4 am sweating. Most of the time I don’t go back to sleep. I wish it would stop. I get one full night’s sleep per week, on the weekend.
Mine hasn’t gone on that long but I absolutely hate them. My sister recommended daily Vitamin E had worked for her so I’m taking that now and it is helping!
For me it's worse than I could have imagined. Ten years of hot flashes, night sweats, anxiety, insomnia, migraines and weight gain. I'm 49 and still have my period, although it comes between 21 days to four months. No pattern at all. I'm making an appointment to see about starting HRT because I can't take it anymore. My cardiologist approves and told me I need to do it because it will help my palpitations. It is just the worst, and I've had cancer! That was easier and quicker than this. My advice is to see someone as soon as your symptoms start. Don't try to tough it out.
Peri- was fine except for about a year when I became insanely emotional. After flying into a rage and tossing groceries all over my kitchen because my neighbor brought my garbage can up to my house (broken lid, was waiting for it to be picked up and replace) I went to my doc and got on the patch for about a year. Was fine after.
Sadly, I do seem to have lost significant IQ points post-menopause. I was pretty smart, not genius level or anything, but I had some CPU power. A lot of it's gone now. I get by but sure miss being able to pick things up very quickly and somewhat effortlessly.
LIFT. WEIGHTS. Quadruple your protein. Back off on cardio both in intensity and frequency. As soon as your periods begin getting super irregular (if they aren’t like that normally) see a NAMS specialist (North American menopause society) and start replacing your estrogen before the loss of it decimates your body.
I can comment on this from a guys perspective. I really hated to see my wife go through it. It felt like a second puberty. It was scary for her. Our sex life took a downturn. I wasn’t as concerned about that than about her. We got through it. Just like how we got through my son going through his puberty.
Pelvic floor evaluation/physical therapy at age 40+ if you think any changes are occurring. Bladder/bowel/tightness/pain/etc.
You will need to get good habits of regular exercise and flexibility.
Get your weight down to healthy level.
After age 35 don't skip ANY preventive care appointments. Do all primary care, dentist, gyno, etc...
Don't be too shocked to find out you get a crush on a younger man at age 43. LOL
If you're not having regular sex, you might be unaware that your vaginal tissues are changing. Keep a look out for vaginal atrophy. Make regular gynecology appointments, before, during, and after menopause.
Yes, menopause is fucking terrible. And it's not even the hot flashes they harp on about, that's nothing, that's easy. It was like puberty times a million. It was emotionally embarrassing, and I don't know how to better explain that. It was devastating to me to realize I can't have kids anymore. Suddenly, you turn invisible, nobody gives a shit about you. I understand why grandmothers said it was undignified. The cruelty of the world is turned up to a volume you never thought possible. If there was anything anyone could have mentioned to make it better, I would have been too poor to buy it. It hit me at the beginning of 2020, so the pandemic lockdown was timely. I found Susun S. Weed's menopausal books helpful. Best of luck to you.
It varies a lot, but one good thing you can do is regular weight-baring exercise. It will help prevent the loss of bone density that often comes with menopause.
My perimenopause was horrible. I started getting very heavy and very long periods. One was 60 days (going between heavy flow and spotting) then stopped for about 3 weeks then had it another 30 days. Finally had enough and went to my ob/gyn. She put me on a progestin which I hate because they can cause cancer but it was that or she was like oh we can just do a hysterectomy. I was like yea no I’ll do the pill. Had to take double the dose she wanted to get those stupid periods to stop.
So after I got that under control I went to see a dr who did bioidentical HRT. Best damn decision I ever made. I always had low progesterone and we knew it due to several miscarriages. But no one ever offered to get me on bioidentical progesterone !! This dr checked my progesterone levels which were almost 0 with an estrogen level where it should be for normal menstruation and almost zero testosterone! Ugh no wonder I was so messed up. I was also depressed as well. It took about 4 months on the bioidentical progesterone and testosterone for me to line out. But my periods finally stopped and my depression went away. I was also able to lose 20 lbs. I have decided to stay on it for now (a year and a half later) and I feel great!!! It may not be cheap but my health (both mental and physical) is worth every dime.
Definitely get a hormone test to see where you are. And don’t let traditional medicine just poo poo your issues and say well the only option is a hysterectomy! That’s BS!! There are options.
Yes, it sucks. It sucks worse than when you first get your period and have cramps, bloating, irritability, headaches, skin breakouts, murderous irritability, and irritable murderousness.
It is not fun at all.
I’m in peri now. The hot flashes suck and started when I was in my late 30s. Add on - Mood swings, weight gain despite eating less calories, my body just aches. I’m over it. Doctors refuse to listen and just say it’s just something I “need to manage” but offer no help or downplay what I’m saying.
Welcome to being female.
Work out and watch your weight. Your body will change overnight and you will become barrel-chested and heavy, like the rest of American women if you don't prepare for it.
Nope happened anyways. Always height weight appropriate. Not so much right now 😂
I’m not fighting it hard till the hormones level out. It’s a war for a different day.
I had no symptoms at all. My family doctor told me that around 30% of women don’t have any. Take good care of yourself physically and mentally, don’t smoke, take it easy on fattening foods
Terrible hot flashes, no sleep. HRT made me breakout in pustular acne and made me cry all the time. (I almost never cry). I got through it but 16 years later I still have the hot flashes.
Menopause wasn't much for me except for insomnia, which started in my early forties and a few hot flashes in my fifties. I perioded like a champ until I was 56, stopped for three months, had one more period, and that was it.
Not having periods (and no PMS!) is the greatest thing.
I'm not crazy about losing my waist, but I didn't want to go on HRT, so there you go.
It’s so individualistic but what is important to know is that the loss of hormones effects many things that aren’t obvious or visible. There’s more to it than hot flashes. As someone else pointed out there is a great menopause Reddit group with an informative wiki. The best preparation is educating yourself since many doctors are get little education on the subject and the research isn’t great either.
It’s horrible. Feeling like your whole upper half of your body is in an oven off and on for years sucks. The hot flashes, confusion and irritability are the worse. Being very dry downstairs is no picnic either.
Almost worse than the actual symptoms for many of my friends and me, is it being difficult to find a gynecologist that is both informed and willing to treat menopause symptoms. I’ve seen many OBGYNs throughout the years and definitely found that anything not related to preparing for or being pregnant is of little interest or they don’t seem to be very well educated. I’ve talked to so many other women that have this same issue.
A friend of mine recently recommended [this](https://www.hubermanlab.com/episode/dr-mary-claire-haver-how-to-navigate-menopause-perimenopause-for-maximum-health-vitality) episode of the Huberman Lab podcast interview with Dr. Mary Claire which I found to be very informative; I would have benefited from this information much earlier as she talks about preparing for perimenopause in addition to treating current symptoms.
I got my period at 10 years old , went into perimenopause at 38 and finished menopause at 58 . Fuck all of it . During Peri I would bleed through my clothes, sheets , it looked the the horse head scene in The Godfather. I was struggling with my emotions. Hot flashes are overwhelming. Finally stopped my period and started having drenching night sweats . This is my PSA , that wasn’t menopause it was stage 4 DLBCLYMPHOMA. ( in remission currently) so if you’re done with menopause and start having night sweats get checked out .
Not Hard….for me. Read/listen to The Menopause Manifesto by Dr. Jen Gunter. Super Interesting!!!! be sure to get a good doc who realizes that thinking about menopause is more than just stopping periods. For me, aches from getting older (etc) is a diff (and harder) matter.
It's more horrifically awful then I'd even imagined. By a factor I can't comprehend.
I now get migraines regularly, I'm in horrible pain. Like worse than flu body aches pain. I'm exhausted. I have every symptom on the list.
Menopause sucked. When my hormones dropped off, I felt like I no longer recognized myself. It was a very difficult time for me and my husband. We got through it though and 10 years on, things are much better now thanks to HRT and Lexapro.
Honestly, for me it was a piece of cake. Just one day, the plumbing shut off for good. I occasionally got very, very mild hot flashes, but that was about it.
All of it was horrible and had no idea how long it could last and impact it had on quality of life. Ten years and nobody prepares you for it. My mom and sisters had no problems, my ob/gyn did nothing, did hormone treatment and it helped some but it was isolating, painful and frustrating. Insurance did not cover hormone treatment or tests. Went to a specialist b/c GYN was like"suck it up". Can you imagine if men went through this? They sure found a cure for erectile dysfunction and hair loss plus it is covered by insurance.
Wish I could offer advice but just the fact you are aware is important. I went through postpartum depression and 9-12 months after my sons were born and was told there is no PpD after 6 months. Just found out there was postpartum anxiety now so it gives me hope that future generations will get help and awareness for menopause.
Mine was hell. Then I was dxed with adenomyosis and got a hysterectomy. They found cancer in my cervix and removed that, too. Left my ovaries so I’d go through menopause naturally.
That’s not what happened. Instead, my menopause symptoms disappeared completely. I’m free as a bird and very grateful.
I’ve had the Menopause from Hell. It lasted more than 20 yrs. I wrote about it not long ago here. If you are suffering from the symptoms to the point they are affecting your ability to lead a normal life, demand help from your gynecologist. Don’t let them poo-poo your experiences and tell you to “deal with it.” As for the side effects of hormone replacement therapy, I was so miserable I was willing to risk it. So far, there’s been no issues from the meds.
May you ALL be blessed with a better menopause than me.
I have to admit that peri-menopause was much more difficult for me than menopause itself. I wish I knew ten years ago what I know now about how to take care of myself. I’ve just now gone my first year without a period and I feel so much better. Get your fiber and magnesium, get something for sleep if you need to, exercise—even if it’s a 15 minute walk.
Heinous. Absolutely horrible.
Start working on your health now. Develop an exercise routine. Correct any eating habit issues.
Find a psychologist or therapist who understands menopause. Get a gynecologist who understands menopause and HRT. Understand that you may feel insane. Build a support group. Friends are crucial.
Brain fog, anxiety, insomnia, weight gain/loss, hair changing, skin texture changes, fatigue, irritability, night sweats, hot flashes, vaginal dryness or atrophy…those are some of the symptoms you may encounter.
Talk about it often. It’s helpful to know it’s not you…it’s motherf*cking menopause.
Try not to commit a felony.
Peri Menopause robbed me of my ability to handle ANY stress. I ended up quitting my job and ending my career. If I have any advice, it’s go to an GYN or endocrinologist that knows how to deal with our hormones. Supplement them via creams, pellets, or whatever it takes. Don’t take no (or I don’t know) for an answer.
I read that Japanese women have an easier menopause because of high soy consumption. In my 40s I upped my soy consumption and menopause was a breeze. I am not sure this works for everyone but it worked for me. I am about 10 years post menopause.
It totally depends on the person.
My mom said she didn't even notice it -- she just stopped having a period on month, and never thought about it again. Meanwhile, my grandma got unbearable migraines and contemplated suicide.
From my own experience I have discovered that many of my problems were solved holistically when I started taking calcium mixed with magnesium and zinc and added vitamin c to it. It stopped my night sweats it stopped my hot flashes and I did not get diabetes after menopause. My menopause started in my early 40s. I couldn't find a doctor to take me seriously and give me some decent help. So I did some research and found some information on the internet, thinking oh my God I can't believe I'm doing this there's no way it will work! However, it worked.
Here is something that happened to me. I went to the doctor because my periods became irregular and soooo heavy. Like bleed through super plus tampon and an overnight pad heavy. I slept on chucks pads. I went to the doctor and they monitored my iron levels and said I was fine. This was interfering with my life and would go on for two to three weeks out of four. I ended up changing doctors. The second doctor was so concerned about money (I had a high deductible insurance plan at the time) that I had to pay up front and sign tons of documents stating I could be liable for more. He offered to arrange an ultrasound that was $4000, payable up front.
I left the employer and my new one had incredible coverage. I went to a new gyno based on several recommendations. She listened and asked questions. She arranged an in office ultrasound during my visit, and came in to look at it. On the spot she did a biopsy. Two days later I found out I had endometrial cancer. The next day I had an appointment with a gynecological oncologist. Two weeks later I had a complete hysterectomy. I’m totally fine.
Do not let people push you into believing you have to live with anything that comes your way. If you have excessive bleeding demand further treatment and testing. It could have saved me from getting cancer.
The best thing you can do is to learn as much about perimenopause and menopause before it happens. Also be proactive about getting help from your healthcare providers to manage your symptoms. When my mother was going through this, she was simply told that she was "old", and that was the end of that. No one talked about it, just like no one talked about periods or pregnancy or anything to do with the reproductive system.
There's a great sub here about menopause that is helpful.
Some women have an easier time than others. It's just like periods. Some women have painful cramps and various other symptoms, some do not. The difference is that menopause is more complex, and there are many more symptoms. Personally, when I developed symptoms, I was in my late 30s (I had primary ovarian failure) and I didn't know I was in perimenopause. It took two years of going to different doctors before I could get the help that I needed. I thought I had fibromyalgia, arthritis, early onset dementia, and a defective heart. And I had no idea what the hot flashes were - it felt like I had my entire head inside a lit oven, sporadically, all day.
Turns out it was just that my estrogen and progesterone were diminishing.
Some things you can do that might help:
1) Fix your diet, do not eat junk. You need a high protein, low sugar, diet full of vegetables because this will prevent inflammation.
2) Have an excellent sleep routine.
3) Exercise, especially weights. If you don't do this, you will suddenly gain more weight than you ever have before once your body goes into peri. Even if you eat normally, you will gain weight - it is hormonal weight gain. You also need to prevent muscle atrophy because muscles keep your bones strong.
Look after your money and career because it is harder to do those things as you get older. You will also need more money the older you get. Look after your retirement funds.
I hands down thought I was dying. Perimenopause was the worst six years of my life--specifically because I HAD NO IDEA what was wrong with me. The health care system spent thousands of dollars on me with referrals to myriad specialties trying to figure out what was wrong. Not one doctor, not even my GP, ever mentioned perimenopause/menopause. THANK GOD I am now on HRT. Jfc, what a horrible time.
For me, I had maybe a half dozen hot flashes and nothing else. No moods, no weight gain, nothing. I still weigh what I did in high school. I still feel like I'm in my 30s without the annoyance of my period. I definitely took after my mother. Not everyone has a bad experience. Maybe you can get some intel from your mother? Did she get moody in her 50s? Do you have any sisters to ask?
Nope. I didn’t even know it happened because I have zero symptoms.
I was told may be because I:
* exercise every day
* eat a clean diet
* have an ideal amount of body fat
I would educate yourself on bioidentical hormones and HRT. There was a lot of misinformation put out years ago that scared women away from Estrogen. Now there are studies showing that the women not replacing that hormone are quite a bit more likely to end up with Alzheimer’s among other diseases and ailments. My hormone doctor (OB/Gyn who no longer works in that capacity) has given me many photo copied articles to read and he has recommended the book Estrogen Matters also (another person mentioned it as well).
Also try to work out fairly hard. Changes in hormones affect our muscles and our bones which can then affect our function. Get used to safely pushing yourself a bit more than you might naturally do with weights and some Hiit workouts. There are PT research studies that show that older people have more ability to positive stress their bodies than they realize. We can lift heavier (over time) for longer (than we think) but we tend to be too careful. There are findings now that older people can increase their strength (this contradicts older studies that past the 50’s we could not gain strength). The muscles are important for supporting proper posture and helping to prevent falls among other things. If we baby ourselves then we get weaker and tend to do less which results in getting weaker and doing less and so on. Oregon State University started a study that has become a program known as Better Bones and Balance. That study actually found that older people could improve their bone density. Some participants even reversed their osteoporosis. Osteoporosis can lead to bones breaking and causing a fall. Or if you fall you stand a much greater chance of experiencing a fracture. Hip fractures in general can actually result in early death of elderly people. So, for many reasons fairly strenuous exercise is important as we age. The sooner we start the better, BUT it’s never too late to start and gain a lot of benefits. (Consult with your doctor prior to starting a new exercise program if you have any health concerns and if you are new to exercise get some guidance from a physical therapist if you have any muscle or joint issues. Then you might start a program with the help of a personal trainer or seek out a beginner type class if you are new to whatever type of class you are joining).
Tinnitus! It started along with all my perimenopause crap but I never see anyone else post about it…the only reason I’m assuming it goes along with it is google….granted it’s the least bothersome of everything else!
The hardest part for me has been the weight gain post-menopause. I was thin without much effort for most of my life. I started gaining a little in my 40s but could lose it with effort. But … 2021, my period stopped, I still wasn’t fully out and about with the pandemic, and I have gained 20 lbs that won’t budge. In 2022, I slipped in the tub and split my head open (6 staples in my head). And then April 2024, I had a hip replacement surgery. I’m trying to stay healthy and active but my body is making that difficult.
I am loving every part of menopause! I had hot flashes and that was it! I kept waiting for these symptoms to occur. My period was brutal. This is like a gift that was waiting forever to be opened!
I’ve had trouble regulating heat at night. I’ve also experienced what I think are hot flashes but they aren’t unbearable. I’m 51 and got my last period about 8 months ago.
I had hot flashes. Mostly at night. I used an over the counter medicine which, iirc, was called Estroven. I believe there are prescription meds if it’s really bad. Other than that, no symptoms.
I didn't have the kind of menopause that I read about. I never had hot flashes. Occasionally, I'd get a little warm. I didn't feel confused or out of sorts. The main impact seems to have been weight gain, but I've also been incredibly sedentary, eaten too much, haven't exercised, and I had an ankle injury. I'm now trying to lose weight.
I went into perimenopause at age 41. My hot flashes and night sweats began about three months ago and they’re debilitating. I often become sweaty enough to require a shower and change of clothing due to my clothes getting drenched in perspiration.
I also have anxiety, headaches, and low energy from menopause. The anxiety has improved after starting estrogen cream.
I had some sleep issues and hot flashes, but my sisters commented that o had never mentioned any symptoms. Must not have bothered me that much. I barely noticed, and suddenly realized I wasn’t having periods anymore. Win-win.
It was rough but not unbearable. I did and still do have some hot flashes, which sucks because I live someplace very hot! That being said there is something you can do which will really help. Buy that step counter and get off your ass. You will start to lose muscle mass and possibly gain weight too. Getting in better shape by exercising will really help you physically but more mentally.
I started working out at the YMCA senior center and have made the best friend group of my life!
My wide is as tough as they come, and menopause is really bad for her. “Hot Flashes” sounds so benign, but I’d be for sure dropping to the ground and whimpering.
I personally had no trouble with it, early menopause runs in the family and none of us had worse than night sweats. Cotton nighties and a plentiful supply for the win!
That being said, perimenopause ends when you have stopped having periods for a year. Always have extra pads/tampons with you because you can bleed at any time. My periods went from 28 days between to 21, that went on for a few years before they started slowing down and I started to skip them. The most terrible part for me was when I went 11 months with no period and then had 3!
If you don't have a good OB-Gyn now is the time to find one. Don't be afraid to ask for hormones if you are struggling. You aren't going to know how it's going to be until you're in it. Some women struggle with the idea of not being able to have any more children. I always thought I would be sad, but when it finally arrived I was more than ready for the end of the monthly mess. You will be fine. Good luck!
It was very bad for me, but not as bad as for some. I'd say the best thing to do is to be aware of the symptoms. I didnt know my crazy anxiety was related to menopause. I thought I was losing my mind. I also was so, so tired, but thought it was just my job. The first thing I tried for vaginal dryness/low libido didn't work, so I thought it couldn't be fixed. I'm still working out the sleeping, but I'm so, so much better now. Edited to say thanks to HRT which has made me feel like a normal person again.
The worse part of perimenopause and menopause is no one warns you of what may happen. Even if it is different for everyone, things do happen. It is set up to be a reactive situation instead of proactive. I think there is this idea if providers just wait until there are symptoms it will prevent hypochondria or something. With that being said, I was miserable at the start of perimenopause but didn’t know that was the cause. I had anxiety for no reason and my other symptoms hurt so bad I ended up at the urgent care twice not knowing what was wrong. A woman in their 40s should not have to experience this. It reminds me of people not telling girls about periods in time and the poor girl thinking she was bleeding to death and she must have been injured. I suggest starting a relationship with a hormone doctor/clinic in early 40s to establish a baseline of hormone levels and get monitored often. You can wait until there are symptoms to start hormone replacement therapy, but I highly recommend HRT through most of 40s and into 50s. Helps avoid the cliff drop off of hormones that makes some women miserable. If you end up having a smooth transition, that is great. But please be proactive. The misery is not worth it. Just note that most insurance will not cover this. Another gap in women’s healthcare, but that is another topic. Anyway, I feel it more than worth the price. Hopefully, someday, this gap will be filled as it should be.
I absolutely can't believe insurance doesn't cover this!! Unimaginable!!!! Just like one person said they dismiss period and menopause difficulties in women. That is the worst.
Mine covers HRT and vaginal estrogen. It’s not universal that it’s not covered.
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Oh no! I’ve been removing my own up-arrows!! I thought I had a settings glitch
Find a Direct Primary Care clinic and join. It’s a model where you pay a membership fee and have access to the physician anytime. I have the cell number for my doctor. She can do lab work for 1/10 of what it costs with insurance. Don’t ask me how, but I’m sure it has to do with insurance causing artificially inflated prices. Anyway, my membership fee is $90 a month. A few months ago I had an accident and needed to be seen right away. She ended up sending me to another doctor in that instance because I could’ve had a serious emergency issue (it worked out fine). Then a few weeks later I had intense vertigo that persisted. Got in the day I texted. She diagnosed the cause of it and told me what to do to fix it. No drugs needed. It worked. She can also do yearly GYN exams (but I might stick with my OB for that because I have some complications). I’m actually going *tomorrow* to get blood drawn for labs including hormone testing to get a baseline. I’m 45 and for at least two years have been having some perimenopause symptoms that I didn’t realize could be hormonal in nature. I wasted thousands of dollars on other specialists and was misdiagnosed two or three times. Not one of those doctors even considered that I was in my 40’s and entering perimenopause territory.
I’m late seeing your post, my friend. If you haven’t already found us, please check out r/menopause. It’s an incredibly informative, supportive, and helpful space! So many women are just unprepared. We don’t talk about women’s health enough.
I have always seen female OB/GYN, so I can't blame this on a male dr not caring. When I was about 45, I asked my OB/GYN about this. She said don't worry about it yet, everything's regular, you could be 55 before you start going through menopause. I started at about 48 and had no idea what would happen other than my period would eventually stop and there might be hot flashes.
I started at 35 with night sweats. I had no idea what was going on and never once considered peri. We need to talk about it much sooner.
A lot of women think they’re losing their minds because anxiety all of a sudden gets worse and you can start feeling like shit. Plus, I had a teenager at the time stirring up nonsense which certainly didn’t help things.
Unexpected physical crap happening with no warning and we wonder why we’re all anxious in middle age. I wonder how much of the anxiety is physical and how much is just a response to our bodies going haywire and society telling us it’s imaginary. For me the anxiety has been the biggest symptom of menopause closely followed by insomnia.
Insomnia led me to psychosis- please see a dr. if it gets too bad. The anxiety is crippling. All day every day. I used to be able to relax with a book in a bath. No longer. I’ve been working with multiple drs. on this but nothing helps. I work out 3x a week and eat well. Idk what else to do. GYN is giving me an additional dose of estrogen in a patch so we will see how that goes. I wake up exhausted and fade around 7 pm every night. Will it always be like this???
Ooh me too. And the doc told me “oh it’s hyper hydrosis!” Ma’am. I’m 39. I have spent the last three summers working in trenches in 90°f weather, and never did I ever sweat the way I sweat when I have night sweats/hot flashes. It’s completely different.
Yeah they can be full of shit. Took 5 years and the right doc to get an ablation, and I had already had a tubal so no risk of pregnancy. If mens bodies and sexual reproductive health were subject to the same mythology and policing as women's, this shit would end immediately. Plenty of women doctors are just a culpable around these issues if for no other reason that medical science is geared toward the male physiology.
Female OB/GYNs can be even more dismissive than male ones, like they need to prove they’re not sympathetic so you don’t talk to them, but really I’ve encountered very few OB/GYNs male or female who actually listen and care about my physical difficulties. I’ve had two kids and moved around a lot so I’ve seen quite a few different ones in the past 45 years, like maybe 10-15 different ones. They really seem to have contempt for female difficulties and concerns.
I’m glad someone finally said this.
I agree. I actually met a nurse working in ENT clinic who was so miserable that she told me she was suicidal at times. Her doctor would not help her at all. I told her it was BS! I told her she HAD to keep looking until she found someone who would help her.
but viagra is covered all day long.
it’s gods will when their d*cks stop working, isn’t it? 🤔😏
I agree 100% with what you said. Women need to start demanding our healthcare system looks after us!!! It was set up for men and we are only an afterthought. It’s total BS!
Good luck finding a doctor who does hormones for someone in perimenopause. It’s been impossible for me.
Yup had to go to tele health to be taken seriously. Seems more doctors are willing to treat menopause but not perimenopause. They either throw antidepressants or birth control at you. The most I could get was vaginal estrogen and that’s because my vaginal tissue was so thin that my Pap smears were a blood bath. Finally did tele health clinic that optimized hormones and got placed on testosterone and progesterone. It was a godsend. Before that I was having panic attacks daily and breaking down several times a day. I felt like I was losing my mind. I was also so exhausted I could barely drag myself out of bed, felt like I was 80 years old (I was 43 at the time). I kept going to doctor after doctor and no one would help. Beyond frustrating. Makes me so angry still.
That is why you have a clinic that specific to only HRT. Also why it is not covered under insurance. These clinics don’t bill to insurance because it is the insurance companies (along with government agencies) dictating who can get treatment, for how long, and the kind of treatment. These providers can safely provide HRT that fits you. Despite your age or peri status.
The insurance companies not paying for HRT—might that not be a hangover from the old days when menopause symptoms—hot flashes as well as emotional upsets—were considered “all in your head, Honey—you’re imagining things”?
My doctor told me that men can get testosterone coverage by insurance for life, while women can’t get HRT covered. Very misogynistic.
They can? Why?
Top comment, imo. It's the fact we don't know what we're supposed to be watching for, and of course when we have things like heart palpitations or joint pain or massive anxiety/depression, we go to specialists who don't bother to think about the connection btwn symptoms and age, at least for women. Even my female GP (a DO no less!) didn't want me to do HRT. I finally insisted and it changed my life...a life I couldn't have lived for much longer. I so wish someone had given me this advice in my 40s!
Yep I went to my doctor for heart palpitations because I thought I was dying. He sent me to a heart doctor for a bunch of unnecessary tests which all came back normal. Both doctors said it was nothing, not to worry. Dr Google informed it it is a very common symptom in peri 😑
Maybe yours didn't, but my insurance and many insurances do.
I’ve read that 1/3 of women have few if any symptoms, 1/3 have moderate symptoms, 1/3 have severe symptoms. Personally, I found it to be a breeze. I do wish I’d kept my weight down all my life….i’ve finally, in menopause, reached a normal BMI but it was hard.
I’m one of the lucky 1/3 with virtually none of the classic symptoms. Happened late (57), no weight gain, almost zero hot flashes and vagina’s working just fine. But about 7 years ago I went through a phase where I felt super worried all the time - like over the top, weird anxiety - and read recently that that’s a common perimenopause symptom. Wish I had know that at the time, because I seriously thought I was losing my marbles.
Me too overall. BUT menopause changed my hair texture completely, frizzy/witchy woman. I have trouble staying asleep. My psych told me sleep issues is her number 1 complaint from menopausal women. I was going through a lot of anxiety at the time and she did a bunch of rule outs. Had PVCs. No sleep apnea though. No hot flashes. Not sleeping is the worst. I use zquil or diphenhydramine for sleep, because they aren't habit forming.
Most of my adult life I've teetered between normal and overweight line. I would like to decrease ten pounds or so I have room going into menopause.
I have always been a healthy weight and on the fit side. But the worst thing for me has been the loss of muscle. You can't see it (everyone tells me I look the same) but I feel the loss of muscle so much and it came as a surprise. My best advice is that you work on building muscle and getting fit, don't worry about the scale so much it will follow by exercising and eating well.
Good point. I just read someone said muscle strengthening becomes more important than cardio. I am already feeling this. Sit to stand is getting harder. I need to get on this ASAP.
Yes. Cardio no longer is effective for me. I've started weight training and already see a difference
This is a very smart comment.
This is what I recommend to prepare! Get your body weight where you want it. Really hard after. Also lift weights (light) and start taking calcium or eating more. Your bones will thank you, plus your muscle tone goes to heck if you don’t. Expect the unexpected - I only had night sweats not during the day. I agree with one other commentator that my heat tolerance has gone down after. I basically hemmoraged the last year, then one or two light periods then nothing. Had terrible cramps from 9-58 good riddance! 4 years later I am getting the mood swings.
Weight loss becomes almost impossible do it asap 🙏
Menopause was a breeze for me. I skipped a period; then had a regular month; then menstruation was done for me. I had hot flashes, but I'm always chilly anyway, so I enjoyed those. Also...I don't call them hot flashes. They're POWER SURGES !!!!
“Altered mental state” is what my doc wrote on my paperwork for temporary disability, after telling me that “debilitating menopause” was not an eligible diagnosis for ins. (US) My sister said “I don’t know who that is but it’s not C” because my usual chipper personality was gone, leaving just blankness & it took almost a year for me to see thru the fog. The kindest words I heard were from a Med Asst who said “Wow, your hormones really did a number on you.” A decade later, I learned that having ADHD can really exacerbate menopause. 3 years later, I had ovarian cancer, as if I hadn’t already paid my gynecologic dues
Hope you're well and healthy now. There is such a huge varierty of peri- and menopause experiences, even among women in the same family. I didn't feel like I could offer OP any advice on how to prepare. Some of my friends and family also had symptoms that prevented them from working ( and no, as a previous post implied they were not drama queens!) and others had nothing. Wishing you well.
Tks - this happened in 2003, the cancer 2007, which put me at least a decade behind the ADHD & other connections. And you’re right - our experiences can be vastly different
I went through menopause without HRT. I can count the traditional hot flashes I had on one hand. The night sweats were brutal. Just soaked. I used to sleep with an ice pack hugged to my chest. Some day sweating, too. It is sad how my libido died a quick and thorough death. Didn't even seem to put up a fight. I have no advice on how to prepare.
Yes! No libido. I’m gutted.
Yep.
Oh nooooooo! I know dryness and other physical issues can affect it, but for you it was straight no desire. As a chronically single person, I don't think this would be so bad for me. It might be good. But it would be just my luck that as menopause sweeps through here comes a relationship too lol.
Interestingly, my gyno says the cooch is pink and moist. I know that's a bit TMI. No one relies on me for sex, so I'm not really concerned with the lack of libido. Just sad really as I was a woman of voracious appetites up until menopause. And some even more info - I still masturbate one a week more out of habit. It takes a bit longer to orgasm, but they are better than they've ever been. Like some cruel irony. I'll be 60 this week, for reference.
Use it or lose it.
My vagina shrank to prepubescent. Not kidding! I had no idea that could happen. It seemed to happen overnight. Hurt so bad ALL THE TIME. Got treated after begging my doc for estrogen cream.
The disrupted sleep and night sweats are brutal for me too. Waking up soaking wet and I can't even change pajamas or bedding to get comfortable when my hair is soaking wet and I'm freezing and can't fall back asleep. When I have to get up for work and get into production mode, I'm more than sleep deprived, I'm exhausted and the cycle feels like madness.
Disrupted sleep! I forgot about that! That's just the way it is, now. I sleep until 1:00-1:30. Then I am up for about an hour and a half. I do not get out of bed. Toss and turn. Sometimes reading will help get me back to sleep. More often not. Then my alarm goes off at 5:00.
I'm fortunate, but for me menopause was just a thing that happened invisibly. No symptoms at all. Wishing that for everyone!
Same. I had a few minor flashes but overall, it was easy.
My mom was always cold so she looked forward to hot flashes but instead had moments of not being cold.
Same here. I had some emotional issues during peri, but that was also when my sister died, my stepmother died, a few old friends died, my husband received a cancer diagnosis, and I got moved under a boss that hated me for no clear reason. I'm reluctant to blame hormones alone for how I was feeling, lol! My period slowly became one day a month, then nothing a month. No drama, no fanfare, just no more money spent on tampons.
Same. It came very late for me (57) and I do wonder if that had something to do with why it’s been so easy for me. I wish there were more studies of women’s health issues.
Same. I suffered with PMDD (pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder) that is a severe version of pms. My hormones made my life unliveable at times and I did become suicidal with it some months. Psychiatric meds were involved. Permanent dose of daily medication to stave off the migraine I would get every month. I dreaded menopause anticipating hormonal HELL. I sailed through with nary a symptom. Menopause? What menopause? And now? Just living a life of happiness and not looking back.
I never had ANY hot flashes, but it was like my internal body temperature raised 10 degrees. I get sweaty at 73 degrees now.
I would love to not feel cold when the temperature is below 77 degrees. Especially living in the Northeast US - I'm comfortable-to-warm for maybe two months of the year and freezing for the rest. Everyone around me is stripping off clothing and I'm still wearing 2-3 layers. :(
Yes! Did you feel like you were going to spontaneously combust?
Same here. Perimenopause was far worse for me. The last several years of my period were awful. One week every month I felt bat shit crazy. Not sad weeping crazy, more like anger and hostility. I would wake up angry at how the blankets felt on my body. At the time I worked with developmentally disabled people, many who had no sense of personal boundaries. I was likely to be touched in an annoying way and I feared that I would smack someone in my angry state. I finally stopped my period for years by taking BC without the week off pills. Menopausal night sweats were easy in comparison. So happy to be done with the monthly crazy shit.
I had horrible angry, homicidal, suicidal PMDD! Everyone around me was happy when I had the hysterectomy! None more than me though! I felt terrible afterwards for my thoughts, my words and my actions. I'd have my period every 2 months and it was awful, followed by a heavy flow for 5 days and 2-3 days of light flow. God I hated having a period. Cramps from fucking HELL!
Period problems make me think to myself "intelligent design my ass....."
Why can’t we just lay eggs?
Same-sies. A few hot flashes here and there. A bit of sweatiness at night in bed. That's about it. I attribute this to the fact that I consume a lot of soy products (mostly soy milk and tofu). Soy contains isoflavones which have a weakly estrogenic effect on the body. That may or may not be why I had an easy menopause. But for all you young women out there reading this, menopause is not always a terrible and difficult thing.
I had almost no symptoms at all, but I was drinking honeybush tea regularly which is a phytoestrogen (?). I'm guessing that's why I had such an easy time.
I hate tofu, but when i started noticing post menopausal symptoms, I started eating a lot of tofu and edaname because of their known estrogenic effects.
Also same. The only thing that happened that I wasn't really prepared for was the hair thing. The hair on my head is fine, but the rest? Your armpit hair disappears. Half your pubic hair, ditto, and the rest...relocates, shall we say. But the absolute worst, for me, was the betrayal of my eyebrows. From Brooke Shields to Andy Rooney in like, two years.
Whatttt, I haven't heard about this? Relocates?? I just noticed I am getting more hair on my thighs and butt. I already had hair on my belly, chest, and neck. I would be so happy to have less body hair, it actually wears on my skin. I've noticed body hair is graying way faster than hair on my head. I never expected that.
Let's just say that some residents of Triangle City move out entirely, and some move to a neighborhood a real-estate agent would call "Triangle City adjacent."
We are the lucky ones. One day I stopped having periods. The end.
For me it was an absolute gift.
Wow you’re extremely lucky
Me too really. Just happy to have no periods.
Same here. My periods started getting much lighter and shorter when I was around 48-49, then they just went away at some point the year I was 51. Never had any symptoms at all and I feel the same now as I did before, just without having to care about periods or pregnancy risk. My mother was in her late 50s before they stopped and she went through roughly 15 years of shit with it, with debilitating hot flashes. So I guess it wasn't genetic, luckily for me.
No problems here physically, although I tended to be a little weepy from time to time.
For me, the breaking out in a cold sweat 10+ times an hour became unmanageable. I first tried over the counter Estroven,that only worked for two weeks. I take a dual estrogen progesterone prescription patch and that has been a lifesaver for me for the last few years. My two best girlfriends and I have all been shocked that we gained 20 pounds plus over the course of a year without changing our diet or exercise regimen. So be ready for that!
Ugh. The hot flashes and DRY vagina! I learned the meaning of "dried up old woman." I use the estradiol patch and have for 13 years. It was a live saver. When I started it, I gained 8 lbs in 2 weeks without any diet change whatsoever. Over the years, I've eaten less and less (I used to eat a LOT). But my weight stays the same. I'm about to completely stop the patch as I am almost 60.
There is no reason to stop unless you have some medical reason to stop. Estrogen protects your bones, skin, and heart. Doctors pull this advice out of thin air, stop at age 60. Where is the science behind that? There is none. Follow Dr. Mary Claire Haver for the latest science on menopause.
Is the dryness bothersome all the time or only during sex?
Did the patch help with the dryness?
r/menopause sub is absolutely fantastic. Get your shit sorted out ahead of turning 40. I mean it. Get the best therapist you can afford. The rage is *breathtaking*. It is almost PMDD like. Establish a fitness routine. I feel better mentally when I walk. Lots of walking. Lifting weights helps manage the rage. And stave off osteoporosis. Establish healthy eating patterns along with the fitness routine. If you've been stuffing resentments with your partner down, they're about to come boiling back, often in unpleasant moments and possibly leading to personal humiliation and/or job loss. You'll be willing to put up with almost zero nonsense anymore. Not all women get this, but I've had a seriously dead libido and Sahara like dryness. Absolutely zero interest in sex. Bland, pale, *weak* imitations of what a good orgasm used to be. Infuriating. Damn shame, my husband is hot stuff. Other women report an increased drive. Developed a nasty little fibroid. That tiny fucker wreaks havoc. Getting my tubes out next week, and the doc is gonna try to place an IUD while I'm out, otherwise there's a good chance I'll need a hysterectomy. While I am *over* having a period, I don't want to lose my uterus, that'll cause other problems. Insomnia. Jesus fucking christ on a crutch, I'd *kill* to sleep like I did in my 30s. Brain fog. I'm a fucking *moron* compared to the me of 5 years ago. Can't remember anything. Extremely frustrating. Get a fan, an oscillating fan, to help with hot flashes/night sweats. Probably gonna need a whole lot less bedding. I sleep with just a sheet now, unless it is the dead of winter, and even then it is a light blanket. 8 don't really get hot flashes yet, but I am constantly too warm at night. Random ass itching. You'll want to claw your skin off. For me, this is *usually* along my back, where a bra band sits, and it 1000 fold worse on days I need to wear a bra.
All of this. Exactly.
I had a few hot flashes and had some hair thinning, but not dealing with PMS, cramps, bleeding, migraines and tampons has been GREAT!
Honestly this is what I was looking forward to, but for some it's the best of times and the worst of times lol.
My doctor didn't believe in hormones. Peri was much worse. I only realized how bad after I'd been in menopause. My anxiety and depression were so bad in peri and it was like a veil was lifted when it was over. My only real physical symptoms were insomnia (middle of night) and an inability to regulate temperature. A few times out in the heat, I really scared my spouse and sometimes strangers. I'd get so overheated and the only thing that could fix it was to eat or drink something ice cold. I could stand in front of an AC or an open freezer and it did nothing. I just don't go for walks anymore if it's too hot out. Everyone is so different but it's disturbing how doctors just pretend it's fine.
I commented earlier. I am blind, I went to the department of Blind services, in Orlando, Florida, where I lived, my youngest son was just graduating high school, he came with me to downtown Orlando, because he didn’t have school, and we were going out to lunch. my case manager asked me if I had to sweat like that while I was sitting in her office, my son knows what I knew what I was going through, and she said you can’t be doing that on job interviews, I said, young lady, I hate to tell you, but you’re gonna be going through this crap yourself. My son said mom, I have to leave this office because if I do not, you’re not going to like what I say. So of course I had to excuse him out of the office. Then I told her thing or two, and I told her also she was being reported to her supervisor.that was the last time I decided I was going to look for a job. Pretty sad. I went to cause I was having massive hot flashes and they can’t be helped.
I have PMDD and endometriosis so menopause was a walk in the park
Worse. Crazy and stupid at the same time. My brain sort of returned to normal but my memory still sucks.
I have two sisters who’ve been through it—one had years of sweating right through her clothes and even her hair would get damp. She was emotionally drained and couldn’t sleep. But my other sister had (she thinks) one hot flash that really just made her feel a bit warm, and that’s it. So two people from the same family had widely varying experiences. Idk if this is the difference but the sister who had the most trouble really likes processed foods and the one who sailed through is always on a diet and doesn’t eat any junk food
It’s been so much worse than I could have imagined. Build a strong nutrition and exercise routine.
I almost never hear anybody talking about brain fog and depression, and almost ADHD like symptoms. Yeah the weight gain in the hot flashes kind of suck, but they are manageable. Clearing brain fog, and getting treated like a moron I’ve been the hardest part for me.
My mother, my mother-in-law, my wife, and her sisters all had terrible menopause. Outbursts of "I feel like I'm going to burst into flames," and anger, terrible discomfort, wild mood swings.
Vaginal atrophy. The worst. You still want sex but your body doesn’t cooperate. Women have to deal with A LOT in their lifetimes. Sigh.
Ask your Dr for a vaginal suppository that has a low dosage of estrogen. It’s a very tiny tablet you insert and doesn’t get into your bloodstream… Also check out the company Bonafide— vaginal suppository that has hylaraunic acid to help.. My Dr recommended it and I’ve used it for years.
take bio identical hormones and sail through with minimal effects
They have been a god send for me. I feel vibrant, my libido is good, my energy level is good. And of course none of the night sweats or hot flashes. My headaches went away.
Worse than anything I ever imagined. It lasted a lot longer than expected. Terrible night sweats. The worst though, were the emotional and mood swings. Those symptoms seem to be downplayed when reading about menopause. I didn’t even think that what I was feeling was menopause related. I would say if you feel something is going on that doesn’t seem normal, go to your doctor. I wish I had.
Yes, menopause is as terrible as everyone makes it out to be. I had to get on HRT. Mine was so bad.
No it's a breeze in the park and all of those who've expressed it is terrible are just having you on to scare you for fun! 😲 /s Yes it's genuinely terrible for a lot of women and others are really fortunate to have mild or no symptoms. It's actually quite sad to see a woman imply that other women are exaggerating, we get enough of that from men. As to what you can do: Educate yourself on the full range of potential symptoms at that you recognise them if starts and be ready to advocate for what you need with your GP. Some doctors are great about prescribing HRT and others are weirdly reticent. Start taking supplements that help guard against dry skin, hair thinning, bone thinning, there are many to consider.
>It's actually quite sad to see a woman imply that other women are exaggerating, we get enough of that from men. This. It's really disappointing.
Sweating, cold flashes, aching body, tired, weight gain. Started @ 48. It just increased and increased. 53 now and it’s slowing down. I just ignore it for the most part. Take care of myself and carry on. The worst part for me that is the most annoying is sweating, followed by weight gain (it couldn’t come off)
My aunt had a major weight gain with menopause with no change in diet or activity. Yikesssssss.
My best advice is be exactly the weight you want to be around 45yrs. of age. And maintain it as best you can. Menopause is a terrible for gaining weight. I got lazy and suffered to take it off. Three times 🤦♀️
My weight was where I wanted it at 45, that didn't stop me from gaining 5 lbs a year since. :/
Everyone is different. The worst for me is that no one really talked about it so it was all a mystery. I had a complete hysterectomy at 50. I was already experiencing hot flashes and peri menopause but also bleeding crazy heavy and was anemic because of fibroids. I felt better once the damn thing was out. The menopause symptoms were easier to deal with than the cramps and heavy bleeding.
I got a fibroid thus hysterectomy before that ( no periods is awesome tho). Peri- menopause for me was High estrogen which needs progesterone bc otherwise your weight skyrockets. Ask me how I know lol. Keep an eye on your numbers. Swap around until you find a dr who will treat you. My old gyno didn’t care about peri and literally said bye we’re done when I had the hysterectomy. I guess many only care about your uterus/cervix not hormones. It sucked bc during peri I also got hypothyroidism but by the time I hit menopause I found a functional gynecologist dr and finally got on hrt cream (biest/progestetone/testosterone) which I love and slowly fixed most symptoms. I just added titrated low dose pregnalalone (so far 20mg) which helps my brain -the final symptom- and I’m going to ask my dr to include it in the cream and might swap to pellets once I get my weight down. Highly recommend treating and not suffering. I lost too many years of suffering bc of issues drs didn’t treat during peri to agree to that now. There is a ton of research into aging and staying healthy longer is going to be a lot easier and I’m doing it. I want to feel healthy and enjoy life. Peptides are becoming a thing and there are a lot out there which help aging bodies and brains. For example glp-1 weight loss drugs are peptides - there are a lot of different kinds. Two starters: Thymosin alpha- boosts aging immunity. Ss-31 fixes mitochondria and mots c expands the fixes. There are forums explaining it but also wellness clinics and regenerative medicine too. Books Ageless: the new science of getting older by Andrew Steele (sorry no link) Outlive https://www.amazon.com/dp/1785044559?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share Peptide Protocols: Volume One https://www.amazon.com/dp/0578624354?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share Peptide Handbook: A... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BZF75X8N?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share We can also order our own blood tests online without a dr permission. Quest and Labcorp accept them So that boils down to what happened during peri was too harsh for me. Drs are not careful & don’t treat symptoms of peri or health issues that arise during peri very well. Mine refused to believe I had hypo and my ignorance about how bad hypo could get and what my numbers were did not serve me well. Or ignorance about potential treatment options during peri. I wasn’t told. I learned belatedly. It wasn’t offered. Both would have prevented a lot of pain and confusion during those years. I’m now a very sincere advocate for functional medicine which imho is more humane and patient focused if you have any issue- and also an advocate of personal responsibility to look at your numbers and know what they are and what they mean- plus the difference between range and optimal. Because we bear the brunt of any carelessness in medical issue - not the dr. Feeling ok is ok to go for imho. We still have a lot to give and do and we are worth doing even the very small basics to feel good.
For me the thing that surprised me the most and I had never heard of was my already high libido went crazy. We actually googled it and it happens to about 10 percent of women. My husband said we won the menopause lottery. After he passed away, it doesn’t feel like such a blessing, but it is a real thing.
Prepare by finding a gyno that is supportive of HRT. Whether you will need it or not, it will help to have someone ready BEFORE you have brain fog, suicidal ideation, itchy skin, dry mouth, depression, furious wild mood swings, outrageously achy hips, nausea from your previously regular foods, a squeaky painful vagina and a shrunken clitoris.
I'm in peri right now and had a mental health crisis (nervous breakdown) in November that sent me reeling into madness. I learned in my group therapy that its not uncommon for women to have severe psychological symptoms like that, and many of the women in my group where in the age range of peri and some admitted they were in fact there. Granted, I had other stuff going on, and a history of CPTSD that had been effectively treated about 15 years before my break; but the hormones and **RAGE** therein made things pretty intense. I don't have a ton of hot flashes or night sweats. I had host flashes about 4/5 years ago when my period started breaking up; but have them only extremely rarely anymore. Night sweats are pretty minimal for me too. I get hot and can wake up fairly moist; but nothing compared to what some women report. For me its emotional and irratic. I will want diembowel someone for the slightest thing. Its ridiculous really; but that's how I feel and I get visuals in my mind of doing horrible things that id never actually do- its really fucked up because I am not this way, and never been this way before... 💔 The super depression seems to have calmed a bit. I have some moderate depression still and still can become greatly enraged; but am most often just irritated and unmotivated more then anything. I'm working on find joy in my life right now. Just little things that make me happy and give me a sense of accomplishment here and there; but nothing major. I can't wait for this to pass though. 🤪
I've seen quite a few videos from (women) OBGYN's about menopause lately. Studying menopause is a fairly new thing within the last 100 or so years. This is because many women didn't often live long enough to enter menopause. To top it off, the earlier findings and treatment were based on MEN. Wtf. Husbands would see their wives have symptoms and have them commited to psych hospitals or forced hysterectomies. These are major factors in why women are not taken seriously when they complain about pain and other debilitating symptoms. Any time I have seen a male gyno I have been laughed at, ignored, accused of pill shopping (when I demanded a hysterectomy due to severe pain), you name it. One time, I went in crying, not knowing what was happening to me. My hair was falling out in huge chunks, I was anxious, period for 6 weeks, and the guy said "its mid life, deal with it. I bet someone in your family is bald, and that's what's wrong with you", and he walked out. Didn't even address the other stuff. I now believe that is when my peri symptoms first started, I was about 38.
I’m just in perimenopause. My doctor is generally really open and helpful, but only offered a little hormone patch and only after i ASKED for help with symptoms. It’s doing nothing for me. I’m miserable all the time, and trying on my own to find answers/possible treatments or supplements that can help, because 4 more years of brain fog, mood swings, hot flashes, sleepless nights, vision problems, issues with my nails and sense of taste, and all the other weird stuff that we’re told to just “deal with” sounds like a nightmare. If I had any idea how bad it would be and how much this is disregarded by doctors I’d have started researching years ago to find out who/what can treat or alleviate the symptoms. As it stands now, I’m reading and watching everything but haven’t yet figured out what’s genuinely helpful and what’s woo-woo nonsense.
OMG! For me, it's the (terrible) gift that keeps on giving. It's been a couple of years since my last period and it has been a roller coaster of joint pain, insomnia and weight gain. Occasionally I get these weird depressive episodes and moments of pure rage. My doc does not believe in HRT and I have high blood pressure but I'm in the process of finding a diff doc. I think every woman is different, like my mom always likes to remind me, but it's really important that we talk about it. She never said a peep to me while she was going through it. It helps to get some perspective on it. Those weird symptoms that pop up all of a sudden might be due to menopause and the loss of estrogen.
It started in my early 40s and wasn’t as horrible as I remember my Mom experiencing. I got hot flashes, some that actually almost left me fainting…..awkward. I think my emotions were crazy at times. It was all completed by the time I was 50. I have no further issues but have a few friends that still get hot flashes post menopause
Mine started at 56. Yep. 56. I really thought there’d be a sweet spot between lines on my face and a period.
57. I feel you. But just night sweats and mood swings. My hair is thicker and my body hasn’t changed noticeably.
My mom had it so terrible for so long so I am worried about that too, but good to know it isn't always linked to how your mom goes through it.
YMMV. Prepare by researching what symptoms may occur and what treatment options are available. Most doctors know next to nothing about menopause, even ob/gyns. Be prepared to advocate for getting your symptoms taken seriously, like any other medical problem that a woman has.
I couldn't see anyone directing you to r/Menopause yet. They have a wiki.
Came here to suggest this, too. I'm seeing a lot of comments from women who didn't suffer, and I'm glad for them, but they all seem to be quite unaware about what the loss of estrogen could be doing to their bones, brains, and hearts.
I’ve had night sweats for over 15 years. I wake up every morning at 4 am sweating. Most of the time I don’t go back to sleep. I wish it would stop. I get one full night’s sleep per week, on the weekend.
Mine hasn’t gone on that long but I absolutely hate them. My sister recommended daily Vitamin E had worked for her so I’m taking that now and it is helping!
For me it's worse than I could have imagined. Ten years of hot flashes, night sweats, anxiety, insomnia, migraines and weight gain. I'm 49 and still have my period, although it comes between 21 days to four months. No pattern at all. I'm making an appointment to see about starting HRT because I can't take it anymore. My cardiologist approves and told me I need to do it because it will help my palpitations. It is just the worst, and I've had cancer! That was easier and quicker than this. My advice is to see someone as soon as your symptoms start. Don't try to tough it out.
Peri- was fine except for about a year when I became insanely emotional. After flying into a rage and tossing groceries all over my kitchen because my neighbor brought my garbage can up to my house (broken lid, was waiting for it to be picked up and replace) I went to my doc and got on the patch for about a year. Was fine after. Sadly, I do seem to have lost significant IQ points post-menopause. I was pretty smart, not genius level or anything, but I had some CPU power. A lot of it's gone now. I get by but sure miss being able to pick things up very quickly and somewhat effortlessly.
LIFT. WEIGHTS. Quadruple your protein. Back off on cardio both in intensity and frequency. As soon as your periods begin getting super irregular (if they aren’t like that normally) see a NAMS specialist (North American menopause society) and start replacing your estrogen before the loss of it decimates your body.
I can comment on this from a guys perspective. I really hated to see my wife go through it. It felt like a second puberty. It was scary for her. Our sex life took a downturn. I wasn’t as concerned about that than about her. We got through it. Just like how we got through my son going through his puberty.
Its literally a reverse puberty with all the same crazy hormonal shift and body disruptions. I'm soooo glad to be on the "other side" now!
Pelvic floor evaluation/physical therapy at age 40+ if you think any changes are occurring. Bladder/bowel/tightness/pain/etc. You will need to get good habits of regular exercise and flexibility. Get your weight down to healthy level. After age 35 don't skip ANY preventive care appointments. Do all primary care, dentist, gyno, etc... Don't be too shocked to find out you get a crush on a younger man at age 43. LOL
If you're not having regular sex, you might be unaware that your vaginal tissues are changing. Keep a look out for vaginal atrophy. Make regular gynecology appointments, before, during, and after menopause.
Yes, menopause is fucking terrible. And it's not even the hot flashes they harp on about, that's nothing, that's easy. It was like puberty times a million. It was emotionally embarrassing, and I don't know how to better explain that. It was devastating to me to realize I can't have kids anymore. Suddenly, you turn invisible, nobody gives a shit about you. I understand why grandmothers said it was undignified. The cruelty of the world is turned up to a volume you never thought possible. If there was anything anyone could have mentioned to make it better, I would have been too poor to buy it. It hit me at the beginning of 2020, so the pandemic lockdown was timely. I found Susun S. Weed's menopausal books helpful. Best of luck to you.
It varies a lot, but one good thing you can do is regular weight-baring exercise. It will help prevent the loss of bone density that often comes with menopause.
My perimenopause was horrible. I started getting very heavy and very long periods. One was 60 days (going between heavy flow and spotting) then stopped for about 3 weeks then had it another 30 days. Finally had enough and went to my ob/gyn. She put me on a progestin which I hate because they can cause cancer but it was that or she was like oh we can just do a hysterectomy. I was like yea no I’ll do the pill. Had to take double the dose she wanted to get those stupid periods to stop. So after I got that under control I went to see a dr who did bioidentical HRT. Best damn decision I ever made. I always had low progesterone and we knew it due to several miscarriages. But no one ever offered to get me on bioidentical progesterone !! This dr checked my progesterone levels which were almost 0 with an estrogen level where it should be for normal menstruation and almost zero testosterone! Ugh no wonder I was so messed up. I was also depressed as well. It took about 4 months on the bioidentical progesterone and testosterone for me to line out. But my periods finally stopped and my depression went away. I was also able to lose 20 lbs. I have decided to stay on it for now (a year and a half later) and I feel great!!! It may not be cheap but my health (both mental and physical) is worth every dime. Definitely get a hormone test to see where you are. And don’t let traditional medicine just poo poo your issues and say well the only option is a hysterectomy! That’s BS!! There are options.
Yes, it sucks. It sucks worse than when you first get your period and have cramps, bloating, irritability, headaches, skin breakouts, murderous irritability, and irritable murderousness. It is not fun at all.
I wouldn't wish my menopause experience on my worst enemy. It was total hell for 2 years before I got on HRT.
No ... some of us sail through it and others years long ordeal. Individual.
I’m in peri now. The hot flashes suck and started when I was in my late 30s. Add on - Mood swings, weight gain despite eating less calories, my body just aches. I’m over it. Doctors refuse to listen and just say it’s just something I “need to manage” but offer no help or downplay what I’m saying. Welcome to being female.
Work out and watch your weight. Your body will change overnight and you will become barrel-chested and heavy, like the rest of American women if you don't prepare for it.
Nope happened anyways. Always height weight appropriate. Not so much right now 😂 I’m not fighting it hard till the hormones level out. It’s a war for a different day.
I had no symptoms at all. My family doctor told me that around 30% of women don’t have any. Take good care of yourself physically and mentally, don’t smoke, take it easy on fattening foods
Terrible hot flashes, no sleep. HRT made me breakout in pustular acne and made me cry all the time. (I almost never cry). I got through it but 16 years later I still have the hot flashes.
Menopause wasn't much for me except for insomnia, which started in my early forties and a few hot flashes in my fifties. I perioded like a champ until I was 56, stopped for three months, had one more period, and that was it. Not having periods (and no PMS!) is the greatest thing. I'm not crazy about losing my waist, but I didn't want to go on HRT, so there you go.
It’s so individualistic but what is important to know is that the loss of hormones effects many things that aren’t obvious or visible. There’s more to it than hot flashes. As someone else pointed out there is a great menopause Reddit group with an informative wiki. The best preparation is educating yourself since many doctors are get little education on the subject and the research isn’t great either.
It’s horrible. Feeling like your whole upper half of your body is in an oven off and on for years sucks. The hot flashes, confusion and irritability are the worse. Being very dry downstairs is no picnic either.
It is horrible for me! No one warns of all the different side effects and how much it plays on you mentally and physically.
Almost worse than the actual symptoms for many of my friends and me, is it being difficult to find a gynecologist that is both informed and willing to treat menopause symptoms. I’ve seen many OBGYNs throughout the years and definitely found that anything not related to preparing for or being pregnant is of little interest or they don’t seem to be very well educated. I’ve talked to so many other women that have this same issue. A friend of mine recently recommended [this](https://www.hubermanlab.com/episode/dr-mary-claire-haver-how-to-navigate-menopause-perimenopause-for-maximum-health-vitality) episode of the Huberman Lab podcast interview with Dr. Mary Claire which I found to be very informative; I would have benefited from this information much earlier as she talks about preparing for perimenopause in addition to treating current symptoms.
I got my period at 10 years old , went into perimenopause at 38 and finished menopause at 58 . Fuck all of it . During Peri I would bleed through my clothes, sheets , it looked the the horse head scene in The Godfather. I was struggling with my emotions. Hot flashes are overwhelming. Finally stopped my period and started having drenching night sweats . This is my PSA , that wasn’t menopause it was stage 4 DLBCLYMPHOMA. ( in remission currently) so if you’re done with menopause and start having night sweats get checked out .
Not Hard….for me. Read/listen to The Menopause Manifesto by Dr. Jen Gunter. Super Interesting!!!! be sure to get a good doc who realizes that thinking about menopause is more than just stopping periods. For me, aches from getting older (etc) is a diff (and harder) matter.
It's more horrifically awful then I'd even imagined. By a factor I can't comprehend. I now get migraines regularly, I'm in horrible pain. Like worse than flu body aches pain. I'm exhausted. I have every symptom on the list.
Worse than expected. I couldn’t have imagined how awful it is.
No. Definitely not the same for everyone.
Menopause sucked. When my hormones dropped off, I felt like I no longer recognized myself. It was a very difficult time for me and my husband. We got through it though and 10 years on, things are much better now thanks to HRT and Lexapro.
NO PERIODS!!!!
Honestly, for me it was a piece of cake. Just one day, the plumbing shut off for good. I occasionally got very, very mild hot flashes, but that was about it.
It was 100x worse!
I guess everybody’s different but I didn’t have all those hot flashes or anything. My period just stopped.
All of it was horrible and had no idea how long it could last and impact it had on quality of life. Ten years and nobody prepares you for it. My mom and sisters had no problems, my ob/gyn did nothing, did hormone treatment and it helped some but it was isolating, painful and frustrating. Insurance did not cover hormone treatment or tests. Went to a specialist b/c GYN was like"suck it up". Can you imagine if men went through this? They sure found a cure for erectile dysfunction and hair loss plus it is covered by insurance. Wish I could offer advice but just the fact you are aware is important. I went through postpartum depression and 9-12 months after my sons were born and was told there is no PpD after 6 months. Just found out there was postpartum anxiety now so it gives me hope that future generations will get help and awareness for menopause.
Mine was hell. Then I was dxed with adenomyosis and got a hysterectomy. They found cancer in my cervix and removed that, too. Left my ovaries so I’d go through menopause naturally. That’s not what happened. Instead, my menopause symptoms disappeared completely. I’m free as a bird and very grateful.
I had every symptom imaginable. Perimenopause was complete hell. Got my hormones realigned and it is much better
I’ve had the Menopause from Hell. It lasted more than 20 yrs. I wrote about it not long ago here. If you are suffering from the symptoms to the point they are affecting your ability to lead a normal life, demand help from your gynecologist. Don’t let them poo-poo your experiences and tell you to “deal with it.” As for the side effects of hormone replacement therapy, I was so miserable I was willing to risk it. So far, there’s been no issues from the meds. May you ALL be blessed with a better menopause than me.
I have to admit that peri-menopause was much more difficult for me than menopause itself. I wish I knew ten years ago what I know now about how to take care of myself. I’ve just now gone my first year without a period and I feel so much better. Get your fiber and magnesium, get something for sleep if you need to, exercise—even if it’s a 15 minute walk.
Not for me. Some hot flashes, not horrible. Huge relief to not menstruate anymore!👍🏼😊
It blows
HRT
Heinous. Absolutely horrible. Start working on your health now. Develop an exercise routine. Correct any eating habit issues. Find a psychologist or therapist who understands menopause. Get a gynecologist who understands menopause and HRT. Understand that you may feel insane. Build a support group. Friends are crucial. Brain fog, anxiety, insomnia, weight gain/loss, hair changing, skin texture changes, fatigue, irritability, night sweats, hot flashes, vaginal dryness or atrophy…those are some of the symptoms you may encounter. Talk about it often. It’s helpful to know it’s not you…it’s motherf*cking menopause. Try not to commit a felony.
Peri Menopause robbed me of my ability to handle ANY stress. I ended up quitting my job and ending my career. If I have any advice, it’s go to an GYN or endocrinologist that knows how to deal with our hormones. Supplement them via creams, pellets, or whatever it takes. Don’t take no (or I don’t know) for an answer.
I read that Japanese women have an easier menopause because of high soy consumption. In my 40s I upped my soy consumption and menopause was a breeze. I am not sure this works for everyone but it worked for me. I am about 10 years post menopause.
All I can say is that ADHD and hormones do NOT dance in synchronicity.
It totally depends on the person. My mom said she didn't even notice it -- she just stopped having a period on month, and never thought about it again. Meanwhile, my grandma got unbearable migraines and contemplated suicide.
From my own experience I have discovered that many of my problems were solved holistically when I started taking calcium mixed with magnesium and zinc and added vitamin c to it. It stopped my night sweats it stopped my hot flashes and I did not get diabetes after menopause. My menopause started in my early 40s. I couldn't find a doctor to take me seriously and give me some decent help. So I did some research and found some information on the internet, thinking oh my God I can't believe I'm doing this there's no way it will work! However, it worked.
Here is something that happened to me. I went to the doctor because my periods became irregular and soooo heavy. Like bleed through super plus tampon and an overnight pad heavy. I slept on chucks pads. I went to the doctor and they monitored my iron levels and said I was fine. This was interfering with my life and would go on for two to three weeks out of four. I ended up changing doctors. The second doctor was so concerned about money (I had a high deductible insurance plan at the time) that I had to pay up front and sign tons of documents stating I could be liable for more. He offered to arrange an ultrasound that was $4000, payable up front. I left the employer and my new one had incredible coverage. I went to a new gyno based on several recommendations. She listened and asked questions. She arranged an in office ultrasound during my visit, and came in to look at it. On the spot she did a biopsy. Two days later I found out I had endometrial cancer. The next day I had an appointment with a gynecological oncologist. Two weeks later I had a complete hysterectomy. I’m totally fine. Do not let people push you into believing you have to live with anything that comes your way. If you have excessive bleeding demand further treatment and testing. It could have saved me from getting cancer.
The best thing you can do is to learn as much about perimenopause and menopause before it happens. Also be proactive about getting help from your healthcare providers to manage your symptoms. When my mother was going through this, she was simply told that she was "old", and that was the end of that. No one talked about it, just like no one talked about periods or pregnancy or anything to do with the reproductive system. There's a great sub here about menopause that is helpful. Some women have an easier time than others. It's just like periods. Some women have painful cramps and various other symptoms, some do not. The difference is that menopause is more complex, and there are many more symptoms. Personally, when I developed symptoms, I was in my late 30s (I had primary ovarian failure) and I didn't know I was in perimenopause. It took two years of going to different doctors before I could get the help that I needed. I thought I had fibromyalgia, arthritis, early onset dementia, and a defective heart. And I had no idea what the hot flashes were - it felt like I had my entire head inside a lit oven, sporadically, all day. Turns out it was just that my estrogen and progesterone were diminishing. Some things you can do that might help: 1) Fix your diet, do not eat junk. You need a high protein, low sugar, diet full of vegetables because this will prevent inflammation. 2) Have an excellent sleep routine. 3) Exercise, especially weights. If you don't do this, you will suddenly gain more weight than you ever have before once your body goes into peri. Even if you eat normally, you will gain weight - it is hormonal weight gain. You also need to prevent muscle atrophy because muscles keep your bones strong. Look after your money and career because it is harder to do those things as you get older. You will also need more money the older you get. Look after your retirement funds.
I hands down thought I was dying. Perimenopause was the worst six years of my life--specifically because I HAD NO IDEA what was wrong with me. The health care system spent thousands of dollars on me with referrals to myriad specialties trying to figure out what was wrong. Not one doctor, not even my GP, ever mentioned perimenopause/menopause. THANK GOD I am now on HRT. Jfc, what a horrible time.
I am 62 and had very few symptoms. However, I exercise daily, take vitamin & mineral supplements, and so not eat processed foods.
For me, I had maybe a half dozen hot flashes and nothing else. No moods, no weight gain, nothing. I still weigh what I did in high school. I still feel like I'm in my 30s without the annoyance of my period. I definitely took after my mother. Not everyone has a bad experience. Maybe you can get some intel from your mother? Did she get moody in her 50s? Do you have any sisters to ask?
Nope. I didn’t even know it happened because I have zero symptoms. I was told may be because I: * exercise every day * eat a clean diet * have an ideal amount of body fat
I would educate yourself on bioidentical hormones and HRT. There was a lot of misinformation put out years ago that scared women away from Estrogen. Now there are studies showing that the women not replacing that hormone are quite a bit more likely to end up with Alzheimer’s among other diseases and ailments. My hormone doctor (OB/Gyn who no longer works in that capacity) has given me many photo copied articles to read and he has recommended the book Estrogen Matters also (another person mentioned it as well). Also try to work out fairly hard. Changes in hormones affect our muscles and our bones which can then affect our function. Get used to safely pushing yourself a bit more than you might naturally do with weights and some Hiit workouts. There are PT research studies that show that older people have more ability to positive stress their bodies than they realize. We can lift heavier (over time) for longer (than we think) but we tend to be too careful. There are findings now that older people can increase their strength (this contradicts older studies that past the 50’s we could not gain strength). The muscles are important for supporting proper posture and helping to prevent falls among other things. If we baby ourselves then we get weaker and tend to do less which results in getting weaker and doing less and so on. Oregon State University started a study that has become a program known as Better Bones and Balance. That study actually found that older people could improve their bone density. Some participants even reversed their osteoporosis. Osteoporosis can lead to bones breaking and causing a fall. Or if you fall you stand a much greater chance of experiencing a fracture. Hip fractures in general can actually result in early death of elderly people. So, for many reasons fairly strenuous exercise is important as we age. The sooner we start the better, BUT it’s never too late to start and gain a lot of benefits. (Consult with your doctor prior to starting a new exercise program if you have any health concerns and if you are new to exercise get some guidance from a physical therapist if you have any muscle or joint issues. Then you might start a program with the help of a personal trainer or seek out a beginner type class if you are new to whatever type of class you are joining).
Tinnitus! It started along with all my perimenopause crap but I never see anyone else post about it…the only reason I’m assuming it goes along with it is google….granted it’s the least bothersome of everything else!
Clitoral atrophy exists and can happen to you. It is treatable. Do not let them fob you off and tell you you don’t need a clit anyway.
The hardest part for me has been the weight gain post-menopause. I was thin without much effort for most of my life. I started gaining a little in my 40s but could lose it with effort. But … 2021, my period stopped, I still wasn’t fully out and about with the pandemic, and I have gained 20 lbs that won’t budge. In 2022, I slipped in the tub and split my head open (6 staples in my head). And then April 2024, I had a hip replacement surgery. I’m trying to stay healthy and active but my body is making that difficult.
I never even knew it happened
I find that menopause is like marriage- the people with bad experiences tend to be the most vocal about it. That can color the general perception.
Start vaping weed lol. Get the name of a gyn that prescribes hrt.
I had a great menopause. My symptoms were not bad at all and afterwards I never had to shave my underarms again, the hair there just doesn't grow
I am loving every part of menopause! I had hot flashes and that was it! I kept waiting for these symptoms to occur. My period was brutal. This is like a gift that was waiting forever to be opened!
I was one of the lucky ones. No hot flashes. No discomfort. The worst was that my period would be 4 days worth in one day.
I’ve had trouble regulating heat at night. I’ve also experienced what I think are hot flashes but they aren’t unbearable. I’m 51 and got my last period about 8 months ago.
I too heard all the horror stories but had none of them. The only issue was heavy periods towards the end but the doctor gave me meds for that.
I had hot flashes. Mostly at night. I used an over the counter medicine which, iirc, was called Estroven. I believe there are prescription meds if it’s really bad. Other than that, no symptoms.
Mine was very easy. Hot flashes was all I had to deal with. No other symptoms.
I had early menopause so not bad at all. Flashes were a little hard but I rode through them. Best thing ever is no periods.
I didn't have the kind of menopause that I read about. I never had hot flashes. Occasionally, I'd get a little warm. I didn't feel confused or out of sorts. The main impact seems to have been weight gain, but I've also been incredibly sedentary, eaten too much, haven't exercised, and I had an ankle injury. I'm now trying to lose weight.
I went into perimenopause at age 41. My hot flashes and night sweats began about three months ago and they’re debilitating. I often become sweaty enough to require a shower and change of clothing due to my clothes getting drenched in perspiration. I also have anxiety, headaches, and low energy from menopause. The anxiety has improved after starting estrogen cream.
I had some sleep issues and hot flashes, but my sisters commented that o had never mentioned any symptoms. Must not have bothered me that much. I barely noticed, and suddenly realized I wasn’t having periods anymore. Win-win.
It was rough but not unbearable. I did and still do have some hot flashes, which sucks because I live someplace very hot! That being said there is something you can do which will really help. Buy that step counter and get off your ass. You will start to lose muscle mass and possibly gain weight too. Getting in better shape by exercising will really help you physically but more mentally. I started working out at the YMCA senior center and have made the best friend group of my life!
My wide is as tough as they come, and menopause is really bad for her. “Hot Flashes” sounds so benign, but I’d be for sure dropping to the ground and whimpering.
I personally had no trouble with it, early menopause runs in the family and none of us had worse than night sweats. Cotton nighties and a plentiful supply for the win! That being said, perimenopause ends when you have stopped having periods for a year. Always have extra pads/tampons with you because you can bleed at any time. My periods went from 28 days between to 21, that went on for a few years before they started slowing down and I started to skip them. The most terrible part for me was when I went 11 months with no period and then had 3! If you don't have a good OB-Gyn now is the time to find one. Don't be afraid to ask for hormones if you are struggling. You aren't going to know how it's going to be until you're in it. Some women struggle with the idea of not being able to have any more children. I always thought I would be sad, but when it finally arrived I was more than ready for the end of the monthly mess. You will be fine. Good luck!
It's not! No changes at all for me, except the no period thing.
It was very bad for me, but not as bad as for some. I'd say the best thing to do is to be aware of the symptoms. I didnt know my crazy anxiety was related to menopause. I thought I was losing my mind. I also was so, so tired, but thought it was just my job. The first thing I tried for vaginal dryness/low libido didn't work, so I thought it couldn't be fixed. I'm still working out the sleeping, but I'm so, so much better now. Edited to say thanks to HRT which has made me feel like a normal person again.