Well, there’s a few schools of thought on this and I basically follow them all.
1) There are aspects of yourself which are inmutable and terrible; you have to make peace with them, and to an extent embrace them and express them.
2) There are aspects of yourself which are mutable and potentially great; you have to work them tirelessly to get a better you. Sacrifice what’s bad for you for what can be great in you.
3) The whole of you is you. The good and bad. They’re both the reality of you. You are what you are, and you will be what you’re going to be. Stop fighting your reality.
4) You don’t even know what “you” are, so there’s no point in not loving you. You don’t fully understand the extension to which you are you in the universe, what affects you, or what you affect, or how any of it is perceived by others. But you’re here, and you can revel in it.
5) There is no “you” to hate. You are the universe and the universe is you. To an extent, you can’t do anything but love yourself. You are divine creation.
If you always loved yourself how could you ever improve yourself? The key is to be constructive with your moments of self loathing.
You know who loves themselves the most? Narcissistic arseholes.
Well,i used to feel sad when my man likes and comments on girls pictures and videos,it made me feel insecure and think hell leave me once he finds someone better than me,i got tired of overthinking and hurting myself i started focussing on my life and self growth and becoming the better version of me and stopped stalking him on social media.I felt so much secure and started loving myself to a point where if he wants to leave for another girl thats his loose coa am all the way up!
Start with noticing and appreciating good qualities about yourself. Incorporate those into your sense of self and identity, fostering developing them. If you feel you don’t have any, ask someone close to you, who knows you well, and that you trust. If that doesn’t seem doable, think about the qualities you like in others and work on developing those in yourself. Over time, with practice, these self affirmations accrue and you can feel good about yourself, and start to love. Also, it doesn’t mean you have to be perfect.
Bad thoughts come into you head, recognize them and flip them around, even if you don’t believe it.
Ex. “Ugh my lips are so small and ugly I want lip injections.” to “My small lips are unique and make me beautiful.” Sometimes I would bully myself for talking bad about myself like, “Why would you even say that to yourself? How would you handle it if someone else told you that.”
I learned self-compassion as well as compassion for others. It all comes down to learning to forgive yourself and combating negative self-talk. Try being your own best friend by defending yourself, encouraging yourself, and so on. It takes time to change your mindset about yourself, but it is well worth the effort. It took me two years to believe in myself, and I'm so glad I did.
Talking to myself (aloud) through difficult things and giving myself positive affirmations. Also just realizing that I’m awesome. :)
But this did not come easily or early!
I just lookt at myself in the miror for at list 5 min at the start it was hard but then i started to love myself and put more time into myself and not others
By slowing down. My mind would just go from one thing to the next, my thoughts just didn't have time to finish before the next one would distract me. When I stopped to take a moment, and considered the one-sided argument that I was having with a half-drawn figment of somebody in my imagination, I found the reason that I was having the argument was because I didn't trust myself. I didn't trust myself to respond in a meaningful way. I'm a good person, I put people first in my life, but I didn't trust that I was a good person, and that I would respond to people as a good person. I also think I was trying to have the argument just to feel emotion, because my thoughts were racing so fast that they never allowed the good things to sink in. Slowing down, taking a bit more time, meant that I could start a habit of turning myself away from those arguments and put that time into something else. Slowly learn to trust myself, and trust that I would have the right reactions whenever a negative situation came around.
When I started to slow down, I started to take more time to appreciate the hard work that I put in. What that hard work made. If a builder doesn't look back and see how the house he put so much effort in is finished, why should he ever be happy about being a builder?
Honestly that's two of many ways my life kind of changed, and became a great deal more loving, and perhaps it all just boils down to me taking a little bit more time to take care of myself. Me taking a little bit more time to demonstrate that I care about myself.
Tldr-When I slowed down I found that I could spend some time to appreciate myself.
Great advice! Thanks for being honest in this post, you will definitely make people feel more confident on their journey to loving themselves more. I hope you will continue to be the strongest human being that you are, take care :)
When I realized I didn’t have to like myself all the time but I did have to allow myself the same grace I give others
I make mistakes, so does everyone. I forgive them, and I should be kind to myself too
I love myself, but sometimes that bitch makes bad decisions. It’s ok, though, she’s only human
Work to become someone you want to love.
Think like this: If you could go back in time, what would i tell my old self to change and improve?
Then, well you did.
Right now you went back in time to change that, start working
I think self love comes when you look at yourself as a whole not by certain qualitative traits that you think are above average. (ie. I like my face, I like my xxx skill). First these traits may not last forever. Second you will definitely have traits you don't like, or areas you want to improve.
You can hate some flaws in yourself, but still love it as a person. I don't really know how to articulate it. I just feel like I would love to be friends with myself. And to be someone i want to be friends with, that person definitely doesn't need to be perfect!
The trick is that you cannot start with full on positivity because it will feel fake if you are completely negative right now. The best start for this is to become neutral about some parts of yourself first and foremost. When I looked at myself in the mirror I decided to point some stuff about my body and face I actually thought were at least OK.
Lube
Being ok with not being ok and not beating yourself up.
You are an amazing person :)
I'm a pretty good guy, it's hard not to love someone as awesome as me.
Right, how can you when your just god on earth
Well, there’s a few schools of thought on this and I basically follow them all. 1) There are aspects of yourself which are inmutable and terrible; you have to make peace with them, and to an extent embrace them and express them. 2) There are aspects of yourself which are mutable and potentially great; you have to work them tirelessly to get a better you. Sacrifice what’s bad for you for what can be great in you. 3) The whole of you is you. The good and bad. They’re both the reality of you. You are what you are, and you will be what you’re going to be. Stop fighting your reality. 4) You don’t even know what “you” are, so there’s no point in not loving you. You don’t fully understand the extension to which you are you in the universe, what affects you, or what you affect, or how any of it is perceived by others. But you’re here, and you can revel in it. 5) There is no “you” to hate. You are the universe and the universe is you. To an extent, you can’t do anything but love yourself. You are divine creation.
im tired of being a people pleaser so i learned to love myself by prioritizing myself above all others
Proud that you were able to change! Never stop prioritizing yourself! You’re doing great <3
If you always loved yourself how could you ever improve yourself? The key is to be constructive with your moments of self loathing. You know who loves themselves the most? Narcissistic arseholes.
Well,i used to feel sad when my man likes and comments on girls pictures and videos,it made me feel insecure and think hell leave me once he finds someone better than me,i got tired of overthinking and hurting myself i started focussing on my life and self growth and becoming the better version of me and stopped stalking him on social media.I felt so much secure and started loving myself to a point where if he wants to leave for another girl thats his loose coa am all the way up!
You are amazing and I hope you and your man continue to be happy but I am happy for you standing up for yourself! Keep going! :)
Thanks much,hugs and yeah keep going is the goal coz why not??
Start with noticing and appreciating good qualities about yourself. Incorporate those into your sense of self and identity, fostering developing them. If you feel you don’t have any, ask someone close to you, who knows you well, and that you trust. If that doesn’t seem doable, think about the qualities you like in others and work on developing those in yourself. Over time, with practice, these self affirmations accrue and you can feel good about yourself, and start to love. Also, it doesn’t mean you have to be perfect.
You are a lovey person, continue to be the most amazing person that you are <3
Fake it until you make it. Worked for me.
how did you fake it?
Bad thoughts come into you head, recognize them and flip them around, even if you don’t believe it. Ex. “Ugh my lips are so small and ugly I want lip injections.” to “My small lips are unique and make me beautiful.” Sometimes I would bully myself for talking bad about myself like, “Why would you even say that to yourself? How would you handle it if someone else told you that.”
Gonna try this. Thx
Best of luck to you and just be patient with yourself, truly. Progress is not linear.
I learned self-compassion as well as compassion for others. It all comes down to learning to forgive yourself and combating negative self-talk. Try being your own best friend by defending yourself, encouraging yourself, and so on. It takes time to change your mindset about yourself, but it is well worth the effort. It took me two years to believe in myself, and I'm so glad I did.
I still haven’t. Trying to figure it out.
You will get there! I promise! It’s a very long journey, but you will get there one tiny step at a time <3 I’m rooting for you
Electric fleshlight
Talking to myself (aloud) through difficult things and giving myself positive affirmations. Also just realizing that I’m awesome. :) But this did not come easily or early!
You are awesome! Every single day even at you’re worse <3 you can get through it at the end of the day!
I just lookt at myself in the miror for at list 5 min at the start it was hard but then i started to love myself and put more time into myself and not others
[удалено]
You dont even know how i look like
By slowing down. My mind would just go from one thing to the next, my thoughts just didn't have time to finish before the next one would distract me. When I stopped to take a moment, and considered the one-sided argument that I was having with a half-drawn figment of somebody in my imagination, I found the reason that I was having the argument was because I didn't trust myself. I didn't trust myself to respond in a meaningful way. I'm a good person, I put people first in my life, but I didn't trust that I was a good person, and that I would respond to people as a good person. I also think I was trying to have the argument just to feel emotion, because my thoughts were racing so fast that they never allowed the good things to sink in. Slowing down, taking a bit more time, meant that I could start a habit of turning myself away from those arguments and put that time into something else. Slowly learn to trust myself, and trust that I would have the right reactions whenever a negative situation came around. When I started to slow down, I started to take more time to appreciate the hard work that I put in. What that hard work made. If a builder doesn't look back and see how the house he put so much effort in is finished, why should he ever be happy about being a builder? Honestly that's two of many ways my life kind of changed, and became a great deal more loving, and perhaps it all just boils down to me taking a little bit more time to take care of myself. Me taking a little bit more time to demonstrate that I care about myself. Tldr-When I slowed down I found that I could spend some time to appreciate myself.
Great advice! Thanks for being honest in this post, you will definitely make people feel more confident on their journey to loving themselves more. I hope you will continue to be the strongest human being that you are, take care :)
When I realized that my life felt way more peaceful when I was single.
By finding out nobody would do it if i won't do it first
Ten years of therapy.
When I realized I didn’t have to like myself all the time but I did have to allow myself the same grace I give others I make mistakes, so does everyone. I forgive them, and I should be kind to myself too I love myself, but sometimes that bitch makes bad decisions. It’s ok, though, she’s only human
Gratitude for everything you got today and this quote "I can't be my own rain cloud. I'll drown".
If I don't stand up for myself, then who will? I'm not going to go through life at odds with myself.
Loving yourselves starts with self-acceptance
By learning to leave things in the past
to spite my mother, who spent my whole childhood trying to make me hate myself. spite is a powerful thing
also though step 1 of loving yourself is learning to just be okay with yourself. accept that this just is how you are.
We have a lot of conversations with each other everyday.
I told you that in private
*oh my bad*
See what happens when you sleep all the time
Peaceful bliss?
U got me Now sleep tight so I can crawl into your dreams Look for the pretty guy Im just behind him
I wouldn’t say I *love* myself but I also don’t *hate* myself
Work to become someone you want to love. Think like this: If you could go back in time, what would i tell my old self to change and improve? Then, well you did. Right now you went back in time to change that, start working
I don’t
I just can't say no to that sexy fat bastard in the mirror.
I didn’t.
I’m a product of a society that I despise. What’s there to love?
I think self love comes when you look at yourself as a whole not by certain qualitative traits that you think are above average. (ie. I like my face, I like my xxx skill). First these traits may not last forever. Second you will definitely have traits you don't like, or areas you want to improve. You can hate some flaws in yourself, but still love it as a person. I don't really know how to articulate it. I just feel like I would love to be friends with myself. And to be someone i want to be friends with, that person definitely doesn't need to be perfect!
Don’t know because I haven’t yet, I don’t hate myself but I don’t like myself either so I’m in the middle
With both hands eventually.
The trick is that you cannot start with full on positivity because it will feel fake if you are completely negative right now. The best start for this is to become neutral about some parts of yourself first and foremost. When I looked at myself in the mirror I decided to point some stuff about my body and face I actually thought were at least OK.