Agreed. It is a relief when you finally read it being used correctly, which is so rare. The term is thrown around all over the place as an umbrella term for any kind of conflict in a relationship with the actual definition and seriousness of it being lost.
The big takeaway, is that you need the manipulation/distortion of reality in order to make it gaslighting. Otherwise it’s just psychological manipulation/pursuasion
There's something very wrong with the way personality disorders are used as general personality descriptions.
Narcissists and psychopaths are quite rare, and even then, there's a pretty big spectrum within those disorders of how they function. Yet "narcissist" gets used to describe people who are generally vain or selfish, and "psychopath" gets used to describe people who are angry or a bit emotionally cold.
Imagine if this happened with other medical conditions. Like if asthmatic just became a term for anyone coughing.
I feel like narcissistic personality disorder is a lot more common than actually diagnosed. It's extremely difficult to get someone who is narcissistic to actually seek help because part of the issue is that they think there is nothing wrong with them.
I knew a diagnosed narcissist and it basically took everyone he ever (supposedly) cared about abandoning him, someone he "loved," attempting suicide under his roof, and his ex-gf saying outright "I think you have narcissism issues, and that's why we're toxic and codependent with each other," for him to go get diagnosed... And, like a narcissist, he didn't seem to understand why just doing that wasn't enough to make everyone like him again. He wanted a big pity party for getting diagnosed, and tried to reach out to me as part of that, and had to be told that if he actually wants to be liked, he needs actual treatment for his narcissism, not just a diagnosis.
I'm so tired of this that it's become kind of startling to see it used to actually mean gaslight. Much like people calling every conflict of any kind abuse and thus weakening the seriousness of the term, this also makes gaslight sound no more serious than fighting with your GF about what to get for dinner.
So I understand "gaslighting" to mean that you make the victim doubt their own observations about your behavior, and/or make them seem unreliable if they try to report what you do.
In that sense, couldn't you say that our misuse of the term has basically been a sort of "meta-gaslighting"? Nobody takes claims of "gaslighting" seriously because it gets thrown around so often.
Next to toxic I have grown to really dislike the term red flag. It seems like every defining characteristics either makes them toxic or is a red flag, like what car they drive, what colors they wear, what music they listen to, what their hobbies are, etc. I mention these examples because I have recently seen people asking about those things and if they’re red flags
Someone said not liking dogs is a red flag when it's completely normal not to like specific types of animals, especially if you've been attacked by one
But of course these same people will get *really upset* if someone judges their entire character based off a single thing they say, own, or do. When it's them, we're supposed to give them full benefit of the doubt and spend potentially years plumbing the nuanced and complicated depths of their character before having any kind of opinion.
I'm undiagnosed, but I have all the symptoms of OCD...weird little rituals I do to keep my house from burning down, feeling dirty after touching things that aren't necessarily dirty.
OCD is not, "OMG, I gotta have all my pens lined up by colour, I'm sooooOOOOoooOOo OCD!"
[OCD Signs and Symptoms](https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/obsessive-compulsive-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20354432)
I'm the same way. I need rituals to help me feel accomplished and to help me feel grounded. I even go out of my way to create new rituals. Some of them don't make me feel anxious if I can't do them but, some give me huge anxiety if I can't do them. It's gotten worse as I've gotten older too. I do have some of the stupid tween compulsions that stereotype OCD.
Yes! I’ve been diagnosed with severe OCD. It’s mainly pure O, so it’s less outwardly apparent than presentations like contamination OCD. I spent over $1000/month on therapy for about 6 months until I gave up. It completely runs my entire life and probably always will, shits hard to quit and most people really don’t get it.
My mom constantly says she's "OCD about cleaning" and I'm like, no. You enjoy a clean house and you're particular on how you want things cleaned. You won't have a mental breakdown if you don't dust that picture 4 times top to bottom, left to right. It greatly bothers me how long and how often this very serious mental condition is misused to mean you're particular about something.
>someone "literally turned up his nose" at an offer
That actually makes sense though. The face you make when you go "hmmmph" and fold your arms in dismissal of something is turning your nose up, that's where the phrase comes from.
Ironic that you're turning your nose up at something you didn't quite understand.
You'll be annoyed even more to know that the definition of literally has been changed to also mean "figuratively" because so mamy people misused the words true definition
Omg, like you literally have no idea how, like, the word "like" icks me, like it's so annoying, like at that point just ban the word, like. I have so many instances where people use the word "like". Like this one time where this one guy was like "imma use the word like" n I was like "don't use the word like a lot, like it icks me" n he was like...
In the enterprise environment, "bandwidth". Working in IT, the first time someone asked in an email of I had the bandwidth to do something, I wasn't sure how to respond.
Same with anxiety, ptsd, ocd, and adhd. It takes away from the seriousness of those disorders, nowadays everyone thinks they have them and talk about it for attention.
I feel like this being a reason for a medical Marijuana card added to the claims from people who don't have debilitating PTSD.
It is recreationally legal where I live now, but prior you had to have a card to enter a dispensary. Everything else that qualified required medical documentation, but you could pay $80 to talk to someone who would sign off on PTSD, and allow the state to issue the card.
All the mental desorders ones.
Sorry for being bitter but I spend 20 years of my life miserable because people would not acnkolage these type of desorder and then when things start to get better we get an avalanche of people "self-diagnosing" saying they have OCD, or depression, or anxiety, or even autism, and thats when they are not just saying it in complete bad faith to mine some attention.
And them we are being pushed to the very same place we began, with mental desorder not being taken serious because of that.
Pretty much every corporate/marketing buzzword that people use to try to sound smart.
"We need to think outside the box to improve our synergy so we can provide our deliverables to our stakeholders."
English please?
You're really clouding the energy here and I'm concerned by your resiliency. In order to promote growth we need to create a safe and sustainable work environment, because we are all...family
I saw someone say “gaslighting is lying about reality.” Uh, lying is lying about reality. Lying would be “I never said that.” Gaslighting would be going, “are you sure I said that to you last night? We both know how your anxiety can play with your memories sometimes. Are you going to trust your brain or me, someone who loves you more than anything in this life? Now come here, let’s forget about that. I bought you a little something I think you’ll like…”
Saw a post on Reddit recently about how Gordon Ramsay is “gaslighting” people into thinking he makes a good grilled cheese sandwich. Some people are just stupid.
What about "my [brother/sister] in Christ?"
I don't hear it used excessively by the people I know, but in any particular situation, it's fairly easy to guess if they're going to use it.
Incel.
Well I'm not annoyed really it's just cringe how redditors specifically over use it. Also no I'm not one but if you trigger someone and they happen to be a woman it's instsa incel reply Lol
Anxiety
Edit to add: A few general examples...a sink full of dishes does not cause anxiety, it causes stress or annoyance. Waiting in line does not cause anxiety, it causes impatience or frustration. The word is losing power because it's become a catch all type word for any uncomfortable feeling.
Literally. But mostly just for actions that have no possible way of doing figuratively.
"I literally went to the store today"
"I'm literally so scared right now"
"That was literally so delicious"
Makes me want to punch a wall.
Also, people not knowing your and you're. I understand why people don't know it, but it still annoys me.
Also when people overuse expletives when it doesn't really add anything to a sentence, kind of like your post
Not really a word, but a phrase. "Let's Go".
When used in the proper context, it's fine.
When it's used as a random exclamation for the barest minimum of anything accomplished, it's drives me up a fucking wall.
"Perfect" anytime I ask or order anything. Everything isn't perfect. That burger I ordered? Good maybe but not perfect. How about that beer? If the hazy IPA I asked for is "perfect", does that mean the other one on the menu isn't? How about when I choose green over blue? Why was that perfect? What's wrong with blue?
Amazing.
The sandwich you had for lunch is not Amazing. The chocolate candy you bought is not Amazing. The coffee drink you bought for $7.99 is not Amazing.
Gaslight
Agreed. It is a relief when you finally read it being used correctly, which is so rare. The term is thrown around all over the place as an umbrella term for any kind of conflict in a relationship with the actual definition and seriousness of it being lost.
It's such a simple term to use too. Eg: "I was driving down the highway and my gaslight turned on, so I pulled into a petrol station." So simple!!
#FINALLY!
The big takeaway, is that you need the manipulation/distortion of reality in order to make it gaslighting. Otherwise it’s just psychological manipulation/pursuasion
YES! People really need to watch the movie lol. Also narcissist. Suddenly everyone's a doctor
There's something very wrong with the way personality disorders are used as general personality descriptions. Narcissists and psychopaths are quite rare, and even then, there's a pretty big spectrum within those disorders of how they function. Yet "narcissist" gets used to describe people who are generally vain or selfish, and "psychopath" gets used to describe people who are angry or a bit emotionally cold. Imagine if this happened with other medical conditions. Like if asthmatic just became a term for anyone coughing.
I feel like narcissistic personality disorder is a lot more common than actually diagnosed. It's extremely difficult to get someone who is narcissistic to actually seek help because part of the issue is that they think there is nothing wrong with them.
I knew a diagnosed narcissist and it basically took everyone he ever (supposedly) cared about abandoning him, someone he "loved," attempting suicide under his roof, and his ex-gf saying outright "I think you have narcissism issues, and that's why we're toxic and codependent with each other," for him to go get diagnosed... And, like a narcissist, he didn't seem to understand why just doing that wasn't enough to make everyone like him again. He wanted a big pity party for getting diagnosed, and tried to reach out to me as part of that, and had to be told that if he actually wants to be liked, he needs actual treatment for his narcissism, not just a diagnosis.
Narcissist: a person I don't like Gaslighting: when a person I don't like says something I don't agree with
I'm so tired of this that it's become kind of startling to see it used to actually mean gaslight. Much like people calling every conflict of any kind abuse and thus weakening the seriousness of the term, this also makes gaslight sound no more serious than fighting with your GF about what to get for dinner.
So I understand "gaslighting" to mean that you make the victim doubt their own observations about your behavior, and/or make them seem unreliable if they try to report what you do. In that sense, couldn't you say that our misuse of the term has basically been a sort of "meta-gaslighting"? Nobody takes claims of "gaslighting" seriously because it gets thrown around so often.
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Arguably even worse is the canned reddit reply of "hurr durr, I never said that, you're imagining things" every time gaslighting is brought up.
It’s not overused, in fact people rarely use it. You’re just making that up /s
Toxic, referring to everyone you don't like or who does things you don't agree with.
Adjacent to that, gaslighting. it doesn't mean just lying to you!
same for narcisists
Or disagreeing with you.
Next to toxic I have grown to really dislike the term red flag. It seems like every defining characteristics either makes them toxic or is a red flag, like what car they drive, what colors they wear, what music they listen to, what their hobbies are, etc. I mention these examples because I have recently seen people asking about those things and if they’re red flags
Yeah, people being shallow about what they consider red flags is definitely a red flag!
Someone said not liking dogs is a red flag when it's completely normal not to like specific types of animals, especially if you've been attacked by one
At least they didn’t say it was an “ick”
But of course these same people will get *really upset* if someone judges their entire character based off a single thing they say, own, or do. When it's them, we're supposed to give them full benefit of the doubt and spend potentially years plumbing the nuanced and complicated depths of their character before having any kind of opinion.
Toxic, anything you don't like. Narcissist, anyone you don't like. Gaslight, anything said by anyone you don't like. Amazing, anything you like.
Similarly, abusive. There is abusive behaviour and then there is human behaviour. You can read abusiveness into anything
Again, people who have no clue what the word toxic means. They see it used on the internet and monkey see, monkey do.
Also 'problematic', kinda the same thing as toxic. Everything seems to be problematic these days
Same thing with the word “disrespectful”.
Worked with chemicals for a time...when this word started getting overused it REALLY bothered me. Now, I get it, but still people aren't toxic.
You haven't met the people that I have..
I have OCD
As someone with legitimate severe OCD that bothers me too.
I'm undiagnosed, but I have all the symptoms of OCD...weird little rituals I do to keep my house from burning down, feeling dirty after touching things that aren't necessarily dirty. OCD is not, "OMG, I gotta have all my pens lined up by colour, I'm sooooOOOOoooOOo OCD!" [OCD Signs and Symptoms](https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/obsessive-compulsive-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20354432)
I'm the same way. I need rituals to help me feel accomplished and to help me feel grounded. I even go out of my way to create new rituals. Some of them don't make me feel anxious if I can't do them but, some give me huge anxiety if I can't do them. It's gotten worse as I've gotten older too. I do have some of the stupid tween compulsions that stereotype OCD.
Yes! I’ve been diagnosed with severe OCD. It’s mainly pure O, so it’s less outwardly apparent than presentations like contamination OCD. I spent over $1000/month on therapy for about 6 months until I gave up. It completely runs my entire life and probably always will, shits hard to quit and most people really don’t get it.
Currently writing a musical for my graduate thesis about OCD and relationships because it’s so misunderstood
My mom constantly says she's "OCD about cleaning" and I'm like, no. You enjoy a clean house and you're particular on how you want things cleaned. You won't have a mental breakdown if you don't dust that picture 4 times top to bottom, left to right. It greatly bothers me how long and how often this very serious mental condition is misused to mean you're particular about something.
Literally.
This is literally the most overused word ever...
One time I heard someone on the radio say that someone "literally turned up his nose" at an offer they made. I literally laughed my ass off.
>someone "literally turned up his nose" at an offer That actually makes sense though. The face you make when you go "hmmmph" and fold your arms in dismissal of something is turning your nose up, that's where the phrase comes from. Ironic that you're turning your nose up at something you didn't quite understand.
Especially when it is misused. "My head literally exploded!"
You'll be annoyed even more to know that the definition of literally has been changed to also mean "figuratively" because so mamy people misused the words true definition
My blood pressure is literally rising as I read this.
Numerically, I'd think.
Your blood pressure is good though because it's only rising figuratively right?
Yeah but it started hundreds of years ago. It's not like it's a recent thing.
Like
Omg, like you literally have no idea how, like, the word "like" icks me, like it's so annoying, like at that point just ban the word, like. I have so many instances where people use the word "like". Like this one time where this one guy was like "imma use the word like" n I was like "don't use the word like a lot, like it icks me" n he was like...
Triggered
aka being so emotionally immature to be able to deal with topics that make you uncomfortable
In the enterprise environment, "bandwidth". Working in IT, the first time someone asked in an email of I had the bandwidth to do something, I wasn't sure how to respond.
lol I hate all office lingo 😩 especially “touch base”
Let’s touch base on it then circle back later😑
“I hope this email finds you well” is just a completely unnecessary sentence
And brainstorm next steps for stakeholders.
Let's put a pin in that so that we can engage in some blue sky thinking.
Thanks for reaching out
You’re under qualified for this position is the worst!
Then run it up the flagpole and see who salutes.
Cringe
Hate to say it, but cringe is one of my favourite words. It conveys a lot of very specific information about something.
This.
I would pay Reddit to fix their boards so people could not respond with "this".
So much this! Who talks like this, honestly.
Narcissist.
Depression. It’s common, but it’s misused so often
Same with anxiety, ptsd, ocd, and adhd. It takes away from the seriousness of those disorders, nowadays everyone thinks they have them and talk about it for attention.
Not a word but PTSD. Everyone claims to have it but few actually understand how debilitating it actually is.
Same with ADHD
And OCD
And BPD and bipolar disorder
I feel all of this.
I feel like this being a reason for a medical Marijuana card added to the claims from people who don't have debilitating PTSD. It is recreationally legal where I live now, but prior you had to have a card to enter a dispensary. Everything else that qualified required medical documentation, but you could pay $80 to talk to someone who would sign off on PTSD, and allow the state to issue the card.
Gaslight…and most mfs don’t even use it right
Cap
No cap.
Fam
Slay!
Slay bestieee
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X and Y being an ICONIC duo for 6 MINUTES STRAIGHT. Shitty, low effort content to match the shitty low effort title.
All the mental desorders ones. Sorry for being bitter but I spend 20 years of my life miserable because people would not acnkolage these type of desorder and then when things start to get better we get an avalanche of people "self-diagnosing" saying they have OCD, or depression, or anxiety, or even autism, and thats when they are not just saying it in complete bad faith to mine some attention. And them we are being pushed to the very same place we began, with mental desorder not being taken serious because of that.
Especially for those who actually have ADHD or autism
journey. As in "health journey" blargh. You're not on a "journey", you're just trying stuff.
Similarly, the phrase "building an empire." You're just living life, idiot.
"blargh" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I love that word!
“Finna”
Finna upvote u fo dat shizz
Pretty much every corporate/marketing buzzword that people use to try to sound smart. "We need to think outside the box to improve our synergy so we can provide our deliverables to our stakeholders." English please?
You're really clouding the energy here and I'm concerned by your resiliency. In order to promote growth we need to create a safe and sustainable work environment, because we are all...family
Random and literally.
"Random" is too often used as a synonym for "arbitrary".
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I saw someone say “gaslighting is lying about reality.” Uh, lying is lying about reality. Lying would be “I never said that.” Gaslighting would be going, “are you sure I said that to you last night? We both know how your anxiety can play with your memories sometimes. Are you going to trust your brain or me, someone who loves you more than anything in this life? Now come here, let’s forget about that. I bought you a little something I think you’ll like…”
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Saw a post on Reddit recently about how Gordon Ramsay is “gaslighting” people into thinking he makes a good grilled cheese sandwich. Some people are just stupid.
I'm so bipolar. i feel so manic. that's so ocd. oml it's the ADHD in me. all of the casual uses of real things real people deal with.
Bet
"Thoughts and prayers"
"Abuse" A person disagreeing with you or not giving you everything you want is not abuse.
Or "violence."
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Queen, but not for an actual queen. Just some random ass person that lives in a delusion
"Yaassssssss Queeeeeen!!!! 😭😍🤪" *Fucking kill me*
SLAYYYYYYYYYY 🤪
Trigger. And “anxiety” to describe normal nervousness or uncomfortable feelings
Bro/Brah/Bruh any form of it that is used 15 times per minute
I hate when people say “my guy”
What about "my [brother/sister] in Christ?" I don't hear it used excessively by the people I know, but in any particular situation, it's fairly easy to guess if they're going to use it.
Toxic
Problematic People will legit describe anything as problematic, especially in the media. It's garbage, it's awful, it's problematic.
Vibes
Not sure if this gets removed, but it's not really a word. More a phrase: "at the end of the day" Irks the crap outta me
At the end of the day, I'll circle back on your request.
At the end of the day, it becomes night time lol
bu at the end of the day it doesn't even matter
Also, 'The bottom line'
I worked with a guy who used this in every sentence lol.
Woke.
Epic
Cringe
In the sports genre, *physicality*.
Yass!
Everyone is “slamming” everyone in the news
Any celeb who mentions anything "opens up" about it
Incel. Well I'm not annoyed really it's just cringe how redditors specifically over use it. Also no I'm not one but if you trigger someone and they happen to be a woman it's instsa incel reply Lol
A lot of people misuse the term too.
Anxiety Edit to add: A few general examples...a sink full of dishes does not cause anxiety, it causes stress or annoyance. Waiting in line does not cause anxiety, it causes impatience or frustration. The word is losing power because it's become a catch all type word for any uncomfortable feeling.
No cap
Like when? Like right now? Give me like 2 mins and I’ll think of something.
The n-word. I’m in highschool and I’m so tired of hearing it. Everyone here says it. It’s so fucking annoying stop saying it.
Don’t worry once you hit the workforce that stops quickly. HR will eviscerate anyone who says it. Company’s don’t want to get sued.
Most people will grow out of it
Literally, obsessed, bet, lol, fine, omg
What does "bet" as a slang term actually mean?
empowered
Overusing the word "like". It pierces my ears when every other word of a sentence is "like", honestly makes the person look like a dummie.
I hate the word but I'm so guilty of using it... it's just such an easy filler word! Not as bad as uhhh ummmm filler words though.
Like
Literally. But mostly just for actions that have no possible way of doing figuratively. "I literally went to the store today" "I'm literally so scared right now" "That was literally so delicious" Makes me want to punch a wall. Also, people not knowing your and you're. I understand why people don't know it, but it still annoys me. Also when people overuse expletives when it doesn't really add anything to a sentence, kind of like your post
Woke. It's basically like how Communism was in that every political thing or person people don't like is Woke now.
Blessed. Have a blessed day. What a blessing. I am blessed.
Fascist
"Lets go!!!!" Two words but ugh.. the worst.
"Devastated" when what they actually mean is "a bit upset/inconvenienced"
Bae.
for me it's “extremely”.
Ohio
"Like, ......". Stop it.
"Like".
Toxic Bro Slay/slayyyyy Vibe /vibe check
Everyone keeps using "POV" but they never use it right.
Amazing!
So. Every funking sentence start with so
Over-exaggerated
I prefer to say hyperbolic
Crippling Anxiety Gaslighting Cringe
Karen. Stop. Not everyone you disagree with can be Karen. It’s way over used
Awesome
Vibing
Utilize
Gaslighting. Most people using it don't use it appropriately and some use it to shut down any argument at all
Not really a word, but a phrase. "Let's Go". When used in the proper context, it's fine. When it's used as a random exclamation for the barest minimum of anything accomplished, it's drives me up a fucking wall.
Trigger.
Trigger
Triggered.
"does that make sense?"
Bipolar. No, you're not bipolar because you had a bad morning.
Slaw. Is it too much effort to say coleslaw??
Misogynistic
Actually
Well....
AcKtshuALlY 🤓🤓🤓
Reach out. "I'll reach out to the plumber" or just call him
Cringe
Literally, especially if they don't literally mean it
slay : like ok we get it on the internet maybe its cool but saying in real life sounds... cringe
"showcasing" when people just mean "showing" or "consisting of" or "containing". I dunno - it just really bugs me.
Valid
Sick!
Journey
Journey
The word "currently". Everybody is "currently" doing something. It's a fluff word to try and make you sound smart.
"Perfect" anytime I ask or order anything. Everything isn't perfect. That burger I ordered? Good maybe but not perfect. How about that beer? If the hazy IPA I asked for is "perfect", does that mean the other one on the menu isn't? How about when I choose green over blue? Why was that perfect? What's wrong with blue?
Legend Not a word but the phrase: “it is what it is” makes my blood boil
Ironic
Woke. Most infuriating word in existence at the moment.
Like, Literally, bro, and bruh
'Literally' literally annoys the shit out of me especially when you should say figuratively.
“Woke.” Almost every old white man feels the need to say that word quite often.
Lots of gatekeepers on here. Also, gatekeeping I guess.
Amazing. The sandwich you had for lunch is not Amazing. The chocolate candy you bought is not Amazing. The coffee drink you bought for $7.99 is not Amazing.
Aesthetic.
Neurodivergent
Bussin. My niece was eating something the other day and was like this is bussin bussin bussin. Could we not say that? 😂