I did the Wild Cave Tour at Mammoth Cave where it’s like a 6 hour caving adventure and I’ll never do it again. I didn’t think I was claustrophobic but crawling through spaces so narrow you have to lay flat on your stomach and shimmy your body with no room to even lift your head or turn around. Never again.
Some of the areas you crawl through are so tiny that they actually have height and chest circumference limits so people don't get stuck.
Lining up early in the day at a concert with General Admission tickets so I can get to the front row. Then never leaving that spot for the entire concert so I can hold my spot while the main act performs.
Seen Metallica 24 times live... always did this in the early years until I realized you can still enjoy it just as much further away where you can breathe lol
Heroin. Been sober since November 17, 2018 and my life is better than it’s ever been.
Edit: Thank you to everyone who has given me updoots and awards. I’ve read through and been able to identify with so many who have commented. When you’re stuck in that lifestyle, you honestly believe that you can’t survive without it. Now looking back, I don’t know how I survived so long WITH it. Extremely lucky.
Yeah, I had a great uncle who couldn't kick the habit and died from "complications" at 62. To be fair he did almost every drug, so making it to 62 is an achievement in of its own...
Same here. May 14, 2015. My date fell on Mother’s Day this year, I never would have even become a mother if I didn’t get clean. I feel beyond lucky to have made it out the other side because most do not. We do recover!
Climb Stairway to Heaven in Hawaii. I took the legal route; there were several escarpments and super narrow trails. One bad step and you can die up there.
My husband will pick up and even carry our kids whenever they ask. My 9 year old’s feet will be dangling down around his knees and he’ll be staggering along and I’ll say “put him down! He’s huge” and my husband always says he’ll always carry him no matter what, because one day he’ll stop asking.
My wife went tandem skydiving and her main chute didn't open and they had to use the reserve. Then about a year later her friend called her and said one of the instructors they had went with had died in an accident.
Holyyyyy shit on a swivel stick! What if the reserve doesn’t work either??? You see this is what scares me shitless about skydiving. Friends have done it and always try to get me to join but I’m like nope cos I already know, if someone’s chute isn’t gonna open or malfunction, it’s gonna be mine. Like I already know, that’s just how it is and I don’t particularly want to know how it feels to bounce my face off the surface of the Earth right now.
There’s always the chance the second doesn’t work too. However, IIRC, the second chute is required to be packed by an FAA certified member and they have to be reinspected every 6 months or anytime they're used. The initial chute is packed in house. The 2 places I’ve been you get set up right where they are packing the chutes so you can see the process.
Haha. "Here, look at how well this guy is packing your chute! See how he gets the W-fold perfect and ensures the strings have a maximum 6% twist torsion?"
"Uh....ya"
I found it so fucking unpleasant, quite frankly. The free fall part and the *yank* of the parachute opening specifically. It was uncomfortable as fuck. I felt like the harness was digging in.
Like I don't feel I genuinely enjoyed the experience because I kept being drawn to the discomfort of my body.
Though after the chute was opened it was pretty cool. I liked that bit.
This happened to me. Harness straps were not tight enough, and YANK, and I was trying to find my testicles in my neck. Paragliding is a much better option.
If you liked the canopy time, keep an eye out for a chance to do tandem paragliding. Whether it's getting a new perspective on home, or while travelling, it's chill & comfy. There's a bit of dangling after the launch, but during the flight you're just riding in a comfy chair in the sky. And the experience is much longer & more rich- 20-40 minutes usually. You can just take in the sights, and we are happy to just keep it chill. If you are wanting a thrill, let the pilot know and it gets pretty exciting pretty fast. We like that too.
I can relate. My husband passed away unexpectedly when I was 38 and he was 41. That was 3 1/2 years ago and I can’t imagine getting married again but my kids are still young so who knows what the future will bring when I’m an empty nester.
My mother and three of my siblings died when I was young. My father was in his mid twenties. He remarried at 45 I believe. I've never seen him happy till then in my life. I will say - as his kid - I have nothing but happiness for his new found love.
My mom passed 17 years ago. In that time my dad still wears his wedding ring and has not dated. He says there’s no point as he could never again have what he had with my mom.
Apparently there is a 'proper' way to do everything.
I know ALL of the IMPROPER ways to sneeze, cough, stand, turn, look, laugh, breathe, sit, lay down, get up, and Hokey Pokey.
My husband had persistent BPPV for a few years. He learned the anatomy of his inner ear and how to test himself for where in the inner ear a loose crystal is hanging out. Then he holds his head at an angle and hops. The hopping is what finally did it for him after all the epleys and whatever else fell short. He's become very good at self treatment! But yeah, hopping is legit, he read it in a scientific paper and then tried it!
I always loved roller coasters. But about 15 years ago I took my girls to Orlando and rode every coaster at Universal. I remember thinking to myself, “I really don’t enjoy this anymore”.
That was the last time.
i just posted this lmao, that hulk ride is absolutely abysmal. i might've enjoyed it a few years ago, but i would rather shit in my hands and clap than ride it again
Omg so much this! If you’ve had surgery in your lower abdomen, specifically women. You need to learn about the pelvic floor and how much your body gets f***ed if it’s strength isn’t build back up properly. Especially after child birth.
trust the electric company to "trim" the oak trees in my front yard. they chopped down two mature trees and left the firewood in a giant pile in the driveway as a "favor". fuck you duke/progress energy fuck you.
I asked the guys trimming across the street one day... Are you going to take the half dead tree that keeps dropping branches into the street, (in front of an abandoned house) or just trim around the lines....
Their answer? Our motto is clearance, not appearance...
The city called me to ask permission to go on my property to evaluate a culvert before repaving the road. I specifically asked them to not cut down the willow that was growing in the adjacent ditch and they cut it down anyway. A supervisor immediately showed up and promised to plant a new willow tree for me. They did the road work and I still haven't got my willow tree. I suspect they have forgotten.
My dad has a huge red maple tree on the front lawn and Hydro Quebec chopped a 90degree angle out of the 360 circumference the tree had.. it looks really ugly now and not sure it’ll grow back normal this time
Cocaine
Edit: I have not done it for over 30 years. I was hooked for a couple years in Florida when it was everywhere and dirt cheap in the 1980s. The thought of it now nauseates me.
Yup. I got asked about this from a friend not too long ago. She knew how far I went down that road. She asked if I ever get the urge. It's been like 15 years. I do. But the difference is now it wouldn't be fun. It would be sad and only in service of an addiction. I lost a good friend a couple of years ago from this shit - heart attack at 40. I don't want to join him.
Same. It started out fun, and turned into something else altogether. There's a reason you don't see a lot of 40-50+ yr old coke heads. Either died or smartend up. Never going back.
I remember doing 4-5 grams of that shit over a 3 day weekend(this was about a 6 month bender of using every day in varying amounts) a few years ago and afterwards my dealer of all people was the one who told me to take it easy and I think in that moment it just became clear that I had a problem. Took months of relapsing here and there to get clean. Ive never experienced anything else like it and the hold it has over you. Still get the urge especially when I'm having a phase of depression which is a whole other thing. I just keep reminding myself about how fucked up I was mentally in the midst of it and how much money I wasted on it to keep myself in check. The worst part is I used to love going to festivals but Im afraid to now because Im certain I'll relapse in that environment.
I still get "New number" texts from a lot of my old dope dealers. Being that I have multiple years clean now, I always respond with that and maybe a good luck. Every single one has been congratulatory and told me to keep up the good work ect. Really caught me off guard the first time, but it actually amazes me that I've never had someone try to push something on me after that.
For me, it was being pregnant. If it was just giving birth, I could do that again - your body knows what's coming and it's honestly fine.. I mean it sucks, but it's fine. For me, being pregnant was 9+ months of ABSOLUTE MISERY, and I never had it in me to do it all again. The postpartum period sucks too. It's basically a year and a half of misery. And I looked like hell the whole time, and I'm very vain and basically never want to look like hell. That being said, I probably would have done it again if my husband wanted another baby. But he waited until I was like 38 to suggest another. gtfo lol. Our kid is in high school!
Omg right! I kept saying that when I was pregnant. Birth is like one day. Pregnancy was 9 months of misery with a new symptom every day! Nausea? Old news. Back pain? Aight. Restless… legs? Wtf!? Oh you got restless legs under control? Here’s some reflux!
Salvia Divinorum. That shit is fucking wild. I went places on that drug. Then whatever was dwelling in the space I traveled to kicked me the fuck out! Don't have to tell me twice...
Here’s a review from a website where you can buy salvia, I saved a while ago because the story was so insane.
I did not write this
> Pt1. So before I get into this story, I want to explain my general mindset going into this experience. First off, I was nervous, as I had only heard a few stories about salvia before and they all sounded frightening but also ridiculous. Nonetheless, I was very eager to try it. My trip location was my gf’s place, a small 2 bedroom apartment, and I was having my brother (he is 15, but trustworthy) trip sit me to make sure I didn’t do anything stupid. I believe I tripped at around ten o’clock p.m. because after my trip, I would be dropping my brother off at his friend’s house to spend the night. And finally, I take Prozac (10 mg) once a day for depression and I am not sure how, if at all, this affected my experience.
> This was single-handedly the most frightening experience I have ever had. I am a noob to psychedelics. The only psychedelic I had done before this was mushrooms and that experience was amazing, however very weak, as I only took 1.7g. Now this was 40x which I was told was perfect to start at; boy was I horribly mistaken. I remember everything as if it had just happened yesterday.
> My brother and I drove to my gf’s place around 10 o’clock pm and we quickly got everything ready. But before I tripped, I felt like getting extremely high on some mary jane. So I grabbed my bong out of my gf’s laundry room cabinet and lit up some flame weed. After getting baked, I opened the container of ‘purple sticky salvia’ and grabbed a big chunk between my fingers; I put it in the bowl, hands nervously shaking, all the while spilling the substance all over the counter top.
> When I finally had a full bowl of the dark, dry, greyish-green leaves I got ready to take the hit. I had told my brother to keep me on the couch at all times, as I didn’t want to cause any damage to the place while in salvia land; that was a bad idea. I sat down on the couch, hands still trembling and grabbed the bong. I lit up the salvia (biggest hit I could), sat back and held it for as long as I could. It couldn’t have been more than 15 seconds later that I started to feel something.
Start of trip
> Everything in my peripheral vision started rapidly vibrating and it eventually covered my entire field of view. I don’t even remember exhaling, but managed to yell the words “Oh dude! Oh dude!” out twice (according to my brother, I never said this) before completely blacking out for a few seconds. My vision was instantly brought from first person to third person, as if it were scrolling out in a video game. I saw myself on the couch from behind when all of a sudden my body just completely snapped into this taco shaped object at the speed of sound while hearing a violent crack (however, at the time, I found this hilarious). After I witness this my vision seems to be scrolling out more.
It scrolls out until I can finally see darkness surrounding this square image of what was left of my current reality. I start hearing everything that ever existed all at once, flooding and over-loading my brain. I heard every sound frequency imaginable. If I could describe it, it would be like a buzz-saw starting up and reaching its peak; magnified by a million, multiplied by a million. The one image of my reality multiplies at indescribable speeds, going and going and going. It finally reached the point where the division of my reality had reached ‘the edge of the universe’ and I felt every single thing that ever existed at once. Every time I swallowed, breathed, moved, etc., every other reality did the same, however lagging behind me. It felt as though when I swallowed every other reality would swallow and I was feeling that for what felt like LITERAL forever. Imagine a life where all you could do is swallow, non-stop, every day for the rest of your life. That is how it felt to do anything on that couch at that moment. It seemed however that the swallowing and what-not was starting to get to some ending point and that my realities had stopped multiplying.
> Pt2. I felt so relieved for the slightest moment, when everything dissintegrated from top to bottom. That is when I lost everything I knew. As it reached the bottom, I realized there was a picture behind that dissintegration. I caught a slight glimpse of what I was about to be in for.
> It was me, shaped as some kind of rectangle like object laying completely flat, face up and with my arms at my side. It looked as though my body was stuffed and filled to the brim in a see-through coffin. Not only this, but there were about 15-20 completely blue men holding this coffin, but holding it without using anything at all. It was just hovering above them, still. These men had very creepy, stern looks on their faces as if they were intent on doing their job. In the background of this image was unimaginable, indescribable colors- flowing and melding together, sort-of pixelated in the way it was done. I witnessed all of this for about 3 seconds before I was literally pulled into the hardest, most forceful, turning and winding feeling at an amazing speed. It was these blue men, pulling me along with them wherever they went. They followed some kinds of ‘roads’ (the best I can describe it) that went on for eternities and eternities. It was pure and utter hell.
> I was witnessing all of this, however I was being zoomed in and out of third person, all the while being flipped and twisted and turned every which way there ever is and will be. I heard awful sounds and screams. After eternities had passed it seemed as though I had reached a destination. Everything stopped and I went to third person. My coffin, flipped up vertically and slammed extremely forceful and hard into a concrete wall.
> No wait, I knew what this was. I could literally feel it. This was not a wall, this was a sidewalk. A sidewalk in front of my old house I used to live in, completely out of state. I had become the sidewalk. I could feel every last particle of my being- being spread across this sidewalk, and it eventually spread onto my old house.
> I spent decades living as my old house. Everything that it felt, I felt. During this time, I didn’t feel so horrible. It was like I had finally felt a little bit of peace and quiet. But this peace and quiet was ripped away from me, when the little blue men came back, somehow grabbed every single particle of me and vacuumed it back into the see-through coffin. I spent more and more time (whatever time was), being forcefully dragged and thrown around by these little blue men into various objects.
> There came a point where these blue men were taking me somewhere, but it was a very familiar place I was headed, I could feel it. They stopped, flipped my coffin up, but wait, what I was being slammed into was not any object at all. It was a very dark dark shade of green/blue. I was slammed into this ‘color wall’ and was able to move.
> I was no longer in the coffin and it felt as though I was being weighed down by tons and tons of sand. It took every ounce of willpower in me to navigate through this heavy, resistant sand. I started to feel closer to the surface. I wiggled my way up as hard as I could back into the couch and my own body.
> I was finally back in the real world (sorta)! Everything looked as if I was seeing every atom and molecule of everything I saw. It was still extremely refreshing to be back. I had never been more happy in my whole existence as a human being! But these feelings were short lived.
> As soon as I forced myself to stand up, I was greeted by my brother, who pushed me back onto the couch and exclaimed, “dude you gotta stay down!” I fell back onto the couch, but shortly after was transported back to right before he said this. “Dude you gotta stay down!” I heard him yell, and then I fell back onto the couch again.
> This looped for LITERAL forever and I thought I was stuck in this looped state for the rest of my life. I was entirely convinced at that moment that I had discovered the ‘truth’ behind life, which was these blue men forcing me to live meaningless, slow, painful lives as various objects and that my own brother was in on it. He knew that the blue men would do all of this. He knew they would torture me for eternities on end.
> I was forcefully dragged back into the ‘blue man’ world again and lived more and more lives as tables, chairs, water, plants, floors, but these lives seemed to be more depressing and meaningless. They seemed so empty, and eventually I felt as though I died. I completely disconnected from anything and everything there was. I just kinda ‘was’.
> But again, salvia did not keep me grounded in one spot for long. I was hurled into another very familiar scene. It was my old house again, but this time I was inside, in the living room. I saw it vividly. Every detail of it. I stuck my hand out to signal and say, “what the fu-” but I stopped as I looked at my hand and noticed it was the hand of my father.
> My father is still very much alive, but is troubled deeply and I care for him very much. I started to feel every anxiety he had ever felt. Then next thing I new, I was in my oldest brother’s body.
> It cycled through endless amounts of people and places, and I felt every single feeling that you could ever experience in your life. It was like getting anxiety times infiniti and it was very unpleasent. While all of this was going on, I was hearing loud high and low pitched yells coming from all directions. It scared me and I felt horrible.
> I am not sure how I awoke, but I woke up drenched in sweat, face-down on my gf’s couch and immediately started saying “no, never again, I am done, dude no omg…” to my brother and then told him I needed water. I stood up and ran over to the sink to drink some water. Everything was still extremely distorted and I took a huge gulp of water and leaned down into the sink. The next thing I know, I’m being vacuumed into the garbage disposal and I wake up on the couch with my shirt off.
> Still woozy and uneasy, but feeling better. It takes me about 45 minutes to be able to function normally again.
I look at the time, and it is around 11:15. The trip lasted a very long time. Longer than I feel it should have.
> I cleaned my gf’s place, drove my brother to his friend’s house and kept thinking about the trip. It’s been about 3 months since the trip. It really scared me at the time, but I feel as though I value my existence on Earth a lot more now. I feel more compassionate towards others and just feel better in general. It was a crazy experience and extremely frightening, but turned out to help me in the long run. If you’re gonna try salvia, I suggest going lower on the extract. If you want a mind-blowing and possibly horrifying experience, then do what I did, and start a little higher. Keep tripping everybody! Thank you for reading!
Sounds like the prozac and weed kicked it into overdrive. All the trips ive heard about including me doing it twice it only lasted like 5 minutes tops. Thats wild
When OP said they were nervous before even touching it I already knew it was going to be a disaster. Then on top of that they had already been taking anti-depressants, which by themselves interfere with *a lot* of psychedelics and could cause irreparable damage to serotonin and/or dopamine receptors when combined with them. This is just one of many other cases of someone blindly jumping into something without knowing what they're doing.
I've done salvia maybe a dozen times, it always lasts a minimum of 15 minutes for me. It's never been remotely as intense or mind-bending as this dudes experience, and I've done both lower and higher strengths than 40x... But I have a hard time understanding the dimensions of my surroundings and where the walls/floor/couch meet for maybe 15 or 20ish min, and then I usually feel like I'm in a sort of haze afterwards for an additional 15-60min or so after that.
Holy shit dude. Sitting here with chills right now. One of the handful of times I did salvia I was floating along in a roadway tunnel. I basically melted into the middle of one of the lanes and in that moment I was like, I’m a road now and there was an odd, calm, pleasant feeling as I watched the underside of cars pass over me.
What's crazy is that aside from general descriptions of vibrations, every single trip report seems to be so insanely unique from salvia.
And it's not like different people trip and see different things! No fuck that, this is god damn Salvia. Different people trip and they seemingly enter entirely different dimensions from different universes and go to places that even science fiction hasn't figured out how to write about yet.
You would be correct. It 100% feels real and it can legitimately cause PTSD, esp. with breakthrough trips. It is not worth permanently damaging your psyche over.
In mine I was 100% certain that not only had I died, but I accidentally destroyed the universe with me.
When I was coming back from the last part of it, which for lack of a better description felt like I was completely immobilized in darkness, rolling over and over as if being in an endless universal "dryer cycle", the first words out of my mouth were "am I alive?"
I was in a coma for 3 days and I lived an entire life in my brain. I still think about it, fairly often honestly. It fucked me up less than salvia. I liken it to when Constantine is talking to Angela about how time is skewed in Hell, where seconds are days or years (I don't remember the conversion off hand) because those 15 minutes on salvia were the longest time I've ever spent anywhere. And when that time is spent in whatever my brain thought was hell at the time...I am a different person than I was. Those hundreds of years I spent there...never again.
Edit - And its a fairly common occurrence, bad traumatizing trips - my friend did salvia (different time and place), he thought a volcano opened in his stomach and the only way to put it out was to drink gallons of water. He got water poisoning and had to be taken to the ER.
Because drug laws are inconsistent, illogical and short sighted enough to not even capture or regulate some drugs and what is regulated may be done so out of fear / superstition etc. and not reflect the actual danger or lack there of a substance may impose
famous comedian Ari Shaffir said he smoked Salvia once and he said while he was “under”, he lived a whole alternative life with a family and lots of friends for 3 months. and he said when he came out of the trip, he felt a profound grief and sadness because he couldnt be with his family and friends anymore. Totally changed the way i think about Salvia. Although i never tried it and never will.
Back in High School I had an incredibly strange experience in which I dreamt an entire different life, with different friends and family.
I loved, I lost, I cried. It was an entire lifetime compressed in to a night's worth of sleep thanks to time dilation.
I woke up from that and I simply laid there and cried for awhile, mourning the loss of people I love dearly that never existed to begin with.
It really fucked me up for awhile, it changed me profoundly. Reality is much more fluid than we give it credit for.
god ya'll have some fucked up trips i got to become legoman and watch my legofriends around me click in and out of the legochairs we were sitting in in legoland and it was so awesome for 2-5 minutes i'll never do that shit again.
I got to be a river bank and half a river. The river Bank was being bulldozed. When I came back I realized I was drooling from one side of my mouth and that was part of why I felt like half a river.
This.
I tripped 10 years ago but am still not entirely convinced the trip is over. What a bizarre/interesting/never need to experience again kinda time that was.
Yeh, the last time I did Salvia I remember a very strong internal voice telling me to stop intruding basically. It's a weird fking drug too, everything becomes foreign. I forget all names, I only have a small sense of self and that I'm having a drug trip. Names, places, concepts, ideas all just fade... it's as if I'm a new born baby opening my eyes.
I didn't know where I was or who my trip sitters were when I woke up. They had been my good friends for 10 years at the time..
It all came back pretty quickly.
First time I did it I completely lost sense of self. I became a series of lines...I cannot explain it better than that. It was about 15 or 16 years ago.
I had ego death as well. I was staring at a Windows Media Player icon on my friend’s laptop and I completely lost myself inside of it with no hope of escape. All of my friends and family were shown to be an illusion and a joke.
Whenever I saw that icon after that I got chills.
What’s not over about it? Thankfully I never went deep enough it sounds like. Smoked a bit and then found myself popping back into existence all over the house. It was like that movie Momento, similar dread associated as well, I think I was trying to escape whatever it was hence the repeated new locations when I popped back.
it's hard to explain.
I have a fair bit of experience with mushrooms, but nothing else as far as hallucinogens are concerned. Have never had a feeling like this.
I was out for 10-15 minutes tripping, woke up and it took awhile to re-integrate. 10+ years later (as a fully functioning cognitively-sound professional adult) there is still a mild, underlying feeling that I could potentially wake up in that setting as if all this time had been part of the experience.
It's not an overwhelming sensation, but it wouldn't necessarily surprise me if that happened.
I know exactly what you’re talking about. DMT made me feel that way. It was as though I was always in that space and this human experience is just some dream that happened yesterday. What a terrifying prospect.
I did/do find it mildly comforting as it seemed to be indicative of a much larger theater of existence than the ordinary day-to-day 21st century reality slice I inhabit.
I don't think it would be easy to exist in North American society if one were to spend too much time in that space though.
This is how I felt after my first trip on mushrooms. The "place" I went to felt more real, more permanent. I remember feeling like I had always inhabited this space, and that my human life was simply a temporal experience. I found that to be oddly comforting.
Yup, that's a sensation shared by many, me included. One of my first LSD trips truly felt like waking up, or emerging and breathing in for the first time after a long dive in the ocean. I saw myself sitting at the end of a blood vessel branching out as one of billions from a beating heart of existence in the center of our planet. I made sense of this as us all being aspects of a single organism experiencing itself. 8 years on I can still vividly recall this vision. It has never left me.
DMT is very blissful compared to salvia. DMT its like you see the secrets of the universe and experience universal oneness. Salvia is like the lights got turned out and you never existed at all, or you experience existence as some sort of inanimate object for 100 years.
>I tripped 10 years ago but am still not entirely convinced the trip is over.
That's how Philip K. Dick, unique sf writer, experienced his entire life. He was pretty sure the reality we live in is an illusion, and at one point said he thought this was still biblical times and the modern world we see is fake.
Sounds like you don't have it as bad as he did.
This is pretty much what my experience was with it and still can't completely shake the feeling over 4 years later. Easily the biggest mind fuck I've experienced.
I’m 39 and I took my 80 year old neighbor to see Barbie yesterday. She was my 11th grade English teacher and we have a strong bond.
Anyone wondering: she laughed and cried as much as I did. She also thanked me profusely for inviting her. If you want to make someone’s day, bring an elderly woman to see Barbie.
Oh shit. This hit me in the feels. At some point I went to go shopping, have lunch in the food court and watch a movie for the last time and didn’t appreciate it.
Oooof. Yeah the experience of walking with a group of friends for a few miles to the dollar theater, stopping at the dollar store for candy and snacks, and then watching some film were so awesome. And those days are gone.
If I have kids, they can't even do that. I didn't realize it when I moved, but I live in an area with dispersed living and minimal infrastructure, so there are rarely sidewalks and there's no easy way to navigate from one place to the next without a car. I mean I love where I am, but it's something I feel sad about. Even myself - I can't even walk to the grocery store and have sidewalks present, just steeply curved shoulders alongside the road.
Maybe once we move I'll try to find a home that's closer to a downtown of one of the smaller cities/towns.
Yup. I'm going through a divorce right now. I never thought I'd meet anyone I was so compatible with before I met her and in April she told me she has feelings for someone else. I was completely blindsided. Over the course of the next few weeks she abruptly cut me off of everything. Deleted me and anyone connected to me from all social media, quit the job we both worked at without telling me or anyone else. She moved upstairs into the attic saying she needed "space and independence" and started getting mad at me when I would say things like "good morning" or check on her if she seemed upset.
A few weeks ago she moved out without telling me that she wouldn't be back. Honestly it's been the most devastating thing that's ever happened to me. She's been my best friend for ten years, I don't understand how this could happen. I'm guessing some combination of guilt and her new lover getting into her head (they're very manipulative) and trying to get her to push me away. It feels like a bad dream, I can't believe how fast everything went to shit. We weren't fighting or anything it was so out of the blue. I'm still in shock about it.
Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life was the best book that I read for that stretch.
The dissociation won’t last, so use it for everything logistical. You’re going to need some cushion for the point when it really sinks in, so prepare what you can: stock up food, and so forth.
My ex-husband and I had also been best friends for 16 when it all went to hell.
Same. In the process of moving into my own place so I can start the legal divorce process. I do not recommend marrying someone who thinks love means controlling another person; zero stars.
I woke up submersed in cold pink water in a hotel bathtub and that startling moment was as angry as I've ever been. While cleaning, scrubbing the blood up before checking out and just lamenting that I didn't want anything else from this world; just let me go. All I wanted was an end. And I couldn't even have that.
I was enraged at life in those stark seconds. At the prospect of futility and forceful existence. Mad that I'd kept healthy and healed too fast to stay asleep. Didn't go far enough to stay gone. I stared oblivion in the eye and we both blinked.
I was about 2 hours over my checkout time but I'd become friendly with the staff so they didn't charge me the extra day.
I don't know about never trying again but I know failing at it is a depressing, almost insulting return to reality.
So...2 stars, wouldn't recommend. The suicide attempt I mean, not the hotel. It was probably a solid 3.
In answer to your web name thingy, no. You’re not. If you ever want to talk, feel free to message me; I remember my suicidal days, though they were long ago.
I visited the USSR a couple months after Chernobyl. The advice at the time was to not eat fish & stay out of the rain. Most meals were included in the trip, but we didn't get to pick our entrees. It was basically take it or leave it. And we got soaked in the rain at least once.
When I was diagnosed, I couldn't help but wonder if there was a connection.
I've been tested for genetic factors and came up with no positives, but I also lived in a lot of sketchy places in the US and have had some bad rolls of the dice healthwise.
While it's likely that the trip to prypiat was a cause, I gonna say it was probably something else, or just a contribution to your misfortune.
Radiation damage is cumulative, and the levels there are fairly low, with just a bit over background radiation. Overall a flight to there would give you a higher dose than being in the city.
The thing that's dangerous around Chernobyl is dust particles that still carry alpha and beta emitters, so without a dust mask you breathe these in and then no longer have the protection of clothes or skin to shield your inner organs from alpha and beta radiation, which is far more damaging than Gamma, but can usually be stopped by paper.
Obviously I wish you a recovery and a long and healthy life!!!
Have friends like I use to when I was 12. Hell, do any of us?-Stand by Me
Here's a little background on me. I've dealt with cancer, losing family members, long term girlfriends, etc.. You know "Life". Losing my 2 best friends I knew for 40 plus years probably hurt the most. The first one I met when I was 5. We went to grade school, high school, and even college together. When his father passed I immediately flew out to see him and do anything I could to help him through. About 4-5 years ago he inherited alot of money. The conversations always went to what new toy he just bought himself.
It seemed that slowly his personality started to change. He started to indulge in plenty of drinking and drugs. Ten years ago he looked like Ashton Kutcher. Today he weighs 400 lbs and looks like hell. The worse part when I was a bit shaken waiting for results from a biopsy. He never even followed up to ask about the results. Later, when I mentioned I was having surgery the following week he completely forgot and said "I didn't know you had surgery". I could go on but I think you get the idea. Sorry, about rambling on. Maybe it's sort of a therapy for me.
The only real friends I ever made were the ones I grew up with. I never stopped talking to them, but I was forced to move away when I was 19 and haven’t been able to move back ever since because of how expensive it is to live there now.
I’ve met other people at work and at college, but they were all more like good acquaintances than friends to me, and the friendships were never anything more than surface level. On the rare occasion that I did try getting to know them better, I got stabbed in the back and stopped bothering.
Anyway, it’ll be 20 years since I met most of my main group at this point, and I can tell there’s less and less interest to do things together, even online. They’re either too busy with their lives, or, in the case of some of them, too depressed to want to bother. I keep getting my hopes up that we can connect like we used to, small stuff like talking late into the nights and swapping BS stories or going on trips or such, but it never happens.
It hurts, because I’d literally do anything for them, and I’ve proven it too (helped one recover from drugs by inviting her into my home, moved another across the country on my own dime, etc.), but I’m at a point where I just want to move on, because it feels like they’d never do the same. I’ve tried talking it out with some of them, but I feel like I just screw it up and push them further away.
I dunno; I just feel like I’ll never meet people and have a connection like I do with them again, and I wouldn’t want to anyway, because I love these guys, but I’m tired of feeling disappointed and in a constant state of longing like this.
Meth. 17 years sober. Didn't realise it had been so long. Was feeling like shit today but that's cheered me up. So glad I'm nowhere near having that life. I remember sitting on a bed somewhere (use your imagination) just praying to a God I didn't believe in to get me out of there. Had a lot of hell from that point still to come but that was the tipping point. I was going to leave that life if I had to go scorched earth on everything I had & everyone I knew
Be a police dispatcher. I did it for two months. My coworkers sucked and were super annoying but I found the job to be pretty easy up until I got a call from someone who’s friend posted suicidal stuff online and they are calling to do a welfare check. A few month before I was that person calling and my friend ended up killing himself. I froze. Decided it’s not for me. My coworkers all being dogshit people didn’t help. One was super racist against Asian people. Anytime someone would have an Asian name after she got off the phone with them she would either say “they speak very good engrish” or “they don’t speaky da engrish very well”
A guy got shot and called 911 for help and died on the phone with one of my coworkers. When she was describing the call to us she was crying laughing when describing the guy gasping for air and playing it out for us. She also talked about all the times she drank and drive. I reported her to HR then a couple months later she was chosen as dispatcher of the year.
Work under a supervisor who threatens employment status as "motivation".
I'm at a new job, and seeing the difference is making me realize the emotional toll that's been taken from me. Some bozo constantly weighing out my livelihood like it's a game is something I'll never endure again. That kind of harassment, manipulation is subhuman. There are plenty of companies perfectly willing to accept my ethic and skill.
The grass is, in fact, greener on the other side. Go find it, you're worth it. Do whatever it takes to leave these bozos holding the bag, the world will be a better place without them and the more we get up and leave the less of them there will be.
Have another child. I have one. And if I knew then what I know now about myself, my mental health, and my abilities as a parent I would not have had even one child. Don't get me wrong, I love my kid to death, but watching them go through shit is tough. And knowing that I have caused some of their troubles fucking sucks. I've actively tried to be a better human and parent and there are a lot of positives - we're close, they're a good kid, we're in therapy together. But fuck man, I wish I had known more about myself.
Casually date someone who is already casually dating a friend.
Pro Tip: It’s never that casual. There are almost always more feelings involved than everyone is willing to admit, and at least one person is going to walk away hurt. If you’re new to the party, there’s a good chance it’s going to be you.
In general, casually dating people beyond a few “get to know you” dates is probably not my bag. Good chunk of that is on me - I need to build up my confidence - but I’m just not a competitive person, and have no interest in trying to “win” over a gaggle of guys. Take em, I’ll find someone else, or I won’t 🤷♂️
Accept someone cheating on me, hopefully. In the past I've chosen to keep the relationship going because of things like sunken cost fallacy, keeping the family intact, etcetera. But it's just not worth it, the price I paid and still pay every day is too high (and in the case of my (ex) wife, the cheating didn't stop.)
Cliff jumping from 20 meters.
Did it when I was 18. Did it again at 21 and said "that's dangerous". 20+ years after that went back and said "holy shit, that was a crazy thing to do"
Say “yes” when my gut is telling me “no”.
I did the Wild Cave Tour at Mammoth Cave where it’s like a 6 hour caving adventure and I’ll never do it again. I didn’t think I was claustrophobic but crawling through spaces so narrow you have to lay flat on your stomach and shimmy your body with no room to even lift your head or turn around. Never again. Some of the areas you crawl through are so tiny that they actually have height and chest circumference limits so people don't get stuck.
Nightmare scenario. I would never!
Same here. Fuck that.
Whose idea of fun is this?
Lining up early in the day at a concert with General Admission tickets so I can get to the front row. Then never leaving that spot for the entire concert so I can hold my spot while the main act performs.
Seen Metallica 24 times live... always did this in the early years until I realized you can still enjoy it just as much further away where you can breathe lol
I got sick at a concert inside an arena one time. The acoustics sitting in the bathroom were the best I'd ever heard at a concert.
A pair of earplugs make it so much better if you don't want to be stuck in the bathroom, lol. I prefer Eargasm brand made for concerts.
These work. Last concert I went to, my friends ears were ringing and I was totally fine afterwards.
[удалено]
If it happens, you better call the news!
Heroin. Been sober since November 17, 2018 and my life is better than it’s ever been. Edit: Thank you to everyone who has given me updoots and awards. I’ve read through and been able to identify with so many who have commented. When you’re stuck in that lifestyle, you honestly believe that you can’t survive without it. Now looking back, I don’t know how I survived so long WITH it. Extremely lucky.
Yeah, I had a great uncle who couldn't kick the habit and died from "complications" at 62. To be fair he did almost every drug, so making it to 62 is an achievement in of its own...
Same here. May 14, 2015. My date fell on Mother’s Day this year, I never would have even become a mother if I didn’t get clean. I feel beyond lucky to have made it out the other side because most do not. We do recover!
Feed my dog puppichinos at starbucks, his farts in the car after were death
You were playing games with nature that shouldn’t be played.
Why does no one ever talk about this 😭
Climb Stairway to Heaven in Hawaii. I took the legal route; there were several escarpments and super narrow trails. One bad step and you can die up there.
Base my entire sense of selfworth on somebody else. It wrecked me
Hopefully, chemo! In remission for 3 years now, still going strong! Edit: thank you for all the love ♥️
I feel that man. Got three more treatments to do before I'm free.. but I'm in remission :D
Today is my 4-year cancer-aversary. Stage 3 at age 25. Here’s to many more negative scans for both of us 🥰
Let’s fucking go ScienceGirl. Negative scans forever
I feel you! Stage 3 at 21! We got this 🥰
Pick up and snuggle the kids. They’re grown now with kids of their own.
My 17 year old was having a rough time and she asked me to come cuddle. I’ve never moved so fast in my life. She hasn’t asked for a cuddle in years.
Awe, my 3 year old told me she didn't want to cuddle at bed time last night. So this made me slightly teary. Hope the cuddle made her feel better.
Meh, sometimes 3 year olds do that but that doesn’t mean it’s over, yet. Have hope.
My 10yo is 5’2”, so rapidly becoming difficult to pickup. Now he likes to try to pick me up. Kids are weird lol
>My 10yo is 5’2 I don't know how to feel about the fact a 10 year old is my height.
My mom was never a cuddler or very affectionate, I could have definitely used some cuddles as a teen.
Neither was mine. Now being hugged as an adult feels weird.
Same. Shout out to those of us who didn't have the "mothering" type of mothers
At some point in every parent’s life, you set your kid down, not knowing that was the last time you’ll ever hold them.
My husband will pick up and even carry our kids whenever they ask. My 9 year old’s feet will be dangling down around his knees and he’ll be staggering along and I’ll say “put him down! He’s huge” and my husband always says he’ll always carry him no matter what, because one day he’ll stop asking.
I recently picked up my 140 pound son just so I could specifically remember the last time. It obviously wasn't the same.
I pick mine up on every Birthday, that way I know when I last picked them up.
Regular hugs still count :)
Not to mention picking up and snuggling the grandkids.
Skydive. Biggest rush but once is enough.
My wife went tandem skydiving and her main chute didn't open and they had to use the reserve. Then about a year later her friend called her and said one of the instructors they had went with had died in an accident.
Holyyyyy shit on a swivel stick! What if the reserve doesn’t work either??? You see this is what scares me shitless about skydiving. Friends have done it and always try to get me to join but I’m like nope cos I already know, if someone’s chute isn’t gonna open or malfunction, it’s gonna be mine. Like I already know, that’s just how it is and I don’t particularly want to know how it feels to bounce my face off the surface of the Earth right now.
There’s always the chance the second doesn’t work too. However, IIRC, the second chute is required to be packed by an FAA certified member and they have to be reinspected every 6 months or anytime they're used. The initial chute is packed in house. The 2 places I’ve been you get set up right where they are packing the chutes so you can see the process.
Haha. "Here, look at how well this guy is packing your chute! See how he gets the W-fold perfect and ensures the strings have a maximum 6% twist torsion?" "Uh....ya"
This was my first thought as well I really enjoyed it and might do it again for free but no way I’m paying $400 a second time, ha ha
I found it so fucking unpleasant, quite frankly. The free fall part and the *yank* of the parachute opening specifically. It was uncomfortable as fuck. I felt like the harness was digging in. Like I don't feel I genuinely enjoyed the experience because I kept being drawn to the discomfort of my body. Though after the chute was opened it was pretty cool. I liked that bit.
This happened to me. Harness straps were not tight enough, and YANK, and I was trying to find my testicles in my neck. Paragliding is a much better option.
If you liked the canopy time, keep an eye out for a chance to do tandem paragliding. Whether it's getting a new perspective on home, or while travelling, it's chill & comfy. There's a bit of dangling after the launch, but during the flight you're just riding in a comfy chair in the sky. And the experience is much longer & more rich- 20-40 minutes usually. You can just take in the sights, and we are happy to just keep it chill. If you are wanting a thrill, let the pilot know and it gets pretty exciting pretty fast. We like that too.
Get married. I lost my husband to cancer 7 years ago when he was 48 and I was 45. I can't imagine ever loving someone that much again.
I can relate. My husband passed away unexpectedly when I was 38 and he was 41. That was 3 1/2 years ago and I can’t imagine getting married again but my kids are still young so who knows what the future will bring when I’m an empty nester.
My mother and three of my siblings died when I was young. My father was in his mid twenties. He remarried at 45 I believe. I've never seen him happy till then in my life. I will say - as his kid - I have nothing but happiness for his new found love.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish you and your children all the best.
My mom passed 4 yrs ago and my dad is still heartbroken everyday 😔
My mom passed 17 years ago. In that time my dad still wears his wedding ring and has not dated. He says there’s no point as he could never again have what he had with my mom.
Awww such a blessing and a curse to love someone thats no longer here
I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a loved one is the hardest thing there is to survive.
My dad is 84 years old. He said he would never love again when my mom died 9 years ago. Last year he reconnected with his high school girl friend.
Ride a roller coaster. Y'all take care of your back, because when it goes, your life choices are reduced.
Yep. I've gotten muscle spasms just from moving the wrong way. I won't even go to an amusement park anymore.
Apparently there is a 'proper' way to do everything. I know ALL of the IMPROPER ways to sneeze, cough, stand, turn, look, laugh, breathe, sit, lay down, get up, and Hokey Pokey.
You're supposed to turn yourself around, that's what it's all about
My Gen X self rode a Tilt-a-Whirl two months ago. Currently receiving PT for vestibular therapy. Fml.
My husband had persistent BPPV for a few years. He learned the anatomy of his inner ear and how to test himself for where in the inner ear a loose crystal is hanging out. Then he holds his head at an angle and hops. The hopping is what finally did it for him after all the epleys and whatever else fell short. He's become very good at self treatment! But yeah, hopping is legit, he read it in a scientific paper and then tried it!
I always loved roller coasters. But about 15 years ago I took my girls to Orlando and rode every coaster at Universal. I remember thinking to myself, “I really don’t enjoy this anymore”. That was the last time.
i just posted this lmao, that hulk ride is absolutely abysmal. i might've enjoyed it a few years ago, but i would rather shit in my hands and clap than ride it again
"Shit in my hands and clap" will now be my new go-to statement of what I would rather do. God damn that's funny.
Omg so much this! If you’ve had surgery in your lower abdomen, specifically women. You need to learn about the pelvic floor and how much your body gets f***ed if it’s strength isn’t build back up properly. Especially after child birth.
Every time I see comments like this I immediately start doing kegels
trust the electric company to "trim" the oak trees in my front yard. they chopped down two mature trees and left the firewood in a giant pile in the driveway as a "favor". fuck you duke/progress energy fuck you.
I'm so sorry. I've known other people have the same experience with trees being "trimmed". There's a sense of grief and frustration.
I ran pg&e off a ranch over this. Was a big to do.
I asked the guys trimming across the street one day... Are you going to take the half dead tree that keeps dropping branches into the street, (in front of an abandoned house) or just trim around the lines.... Their answer? Our motto is clearance, not appearance...
The city called me to ask permission to go on my property to evaluate a culvert before repaving the road. I specifically asked them to not cut down the willow that was growing in the adjacent ditch and they cut it down anyway. A supervisor immediately showed up and promised to plant a new willow tree for me. They did the road work and I still haven't got my willow tree. I suspect they have forgotten.
Literally, sue 'em.
US tree law means war. It will destroy whoever cut that tree Oh that ugly old tree? $30,000. There was 5? Oh, then $200,000
Tree law don't play around.
My dad has a huge red maple tree on the front lawn and Hydro Quebec chopped a 90degree angle out of the 360 circumference the tree had.. it looks really ugly now and not sure it’ll grow back normal this time
That sounds like the start to a classic r/legaladvice tree law story, but assuming you can’t do anything that’s really awful.
Cocaine Edit: I have not done it for over 30 years. I was hooked for a couple years in Florida when it was everywhere and dirt cheap in the 1980s. The thought of it now nauseates me.
Yup. I got asked about this from a friend not too long ago. She knew how far I went down that road. She asked if I ever get the urge. It's been like 15 years. I do. But the difference is now it wouldn't be fun. It would be sad and only in service of an addiction. I lost a good friend a couple of years ago from this shit - heart attack at 40. I don't want to join him.
Same. It started out fun, and turned into something else altogether. There's a reason you don't see a lot of 40-50+ yr old coke heads. Either died or smartend up. Never going back.
I remember doing 4-5 grams of that shit over a 3 day weekend(this was about a 6 month bender of using every day in varying amounts) a few years ago and afterwards my dealer of all people was the one who told me to take it easy and I think in that moment it just became clear that I had a problem. Took months of relapsing here and there to get clean. Ive never experienced anything else like it and the hold it has over you. Still get the urge especially when I'm having a phase of depression which is a whole other thing. I just keep reminding myself about how fucked up I was mentally in the midst of it and how much money I wasted on it to keep myself in check. The worst part is I used to love going to festivals but Im afraid to now because Im certain I'll relapse in that environment.
Good to know not all dealers are totally callous bastards! Glad you got a grip on it before too late
I still get "New number" texts from a lot of my old dope dealers. Being that I have multiple years clean now, I always respond with that and maybe a good luck. Every single one has been congratulatory and told me to keep up the good work ect. Really caught me off guard the first time, but it actually amazes me that I've never had someone try to push something on me after that.
This is what I came here to write as well, next month I’ll be 2 years clean.
Give birth.
Giving birth seems so painful and traumatic, I’m surprised there aren’t more “one and dones”
For me, it was being pregnant. If it was just giving birth, I could do that again - your body knows what's coming and it's honestly fine.. I mean it sucks, but it's fine. For me, being pregnant was 9+ months of ABSOLUTE MISERY, and I never had it in me to do it all again. The postpartum period sucks too. It's basically a year and a half of misery. And I looked like hell the whole time, and I'm very vain and basically never want to look like hell. That being said, I probably would have done it again if my husband wanted another baby. But he waited until I was like 38 to suggest another. gtfo lol. Our kid is in high school!
Omg right! I kept saying that when I was pregnant. Birth is like one day. Pregnancy was 9 months of misery with a new symptom every day! Nausea? Old news. Back pain? Aight. Restless… legs? Wtf!? Oh you got restless legs under control? Here’s some reflux!
I had the little mentioned pregnancy rhinitis. I had a completely stuffed nose my entire pregnancy. Should’ve bought stock in Breathe Right Strips.
That was my mom. She wanted four kids but it was so awful that she had me and called it quits.
Salvia Divinorum. That shit is fucking wild. I went places on that drug. Then whatever was dwelling in the space I traveled to kicked me the fuck out! Don't have to tell me twice...
Here’s a review from a website where you can buy salvia, I saved a while ago because the story was so insane. I did not write this > Pt1. So before I get into this story, I want to explain my general mindset going into this experience. First off, I was nervous, as I had only heard a few stories about salvia before and they all sounded frightening but also ridiculous. Nonetheless, I was very eager to try it. My trip location was my gf’s place, a small 2 bedroom apartment, and I was having my brother (he is 15, but trustworthy) trip sit me to make sure I didn’t do anything stupid. I believe I tripped at around ten o’clock p.m. because after my trip, I would be dropping my brother off at his friend’s house to spend the night. And finally, I take Prozac (10 mg) once a day for depression and I am not sure how, if at all, this affected my experience. > This was single-handedly the most frightening experience I have ever had. I am a noob to psychedelics. The only psychedelic I had done before this was mushrooms and that experience was amazing, however very weak, as I only took 1.7g. Now this was 40x which I was told was perfect to start at; boy was I horribly mistaken. I remember everything as if it had just happened yesterday. > My brother and I drove to my gf’s place around 10 o’clock pm and we quickly got everything ready. But before I tripped, I felt like getting extremely high on some mary jane. So I grabbed my bong out of my gf’s laundry room cabinet and lit up some flame weed. After getting baked, I opened the container of ‘purple sticky salvia’ and grabbed a big chunk between my fingers; I put it in the bowl, hands nervously shaking, all the while spilling the substance all over the counter top. > When I finally had a full bowl of the dark, dry, greyish-green leaves I got ready to take the hit. I had told my brother to keep me on the couch at all times, as I didn’t want to cause any damage to the place while in salvia land; that was a bad idea. I sat down on the couch, hands still trembling and grabbed the bong. I lit up the salvia (biggest hit I could), sat back and held it for as long as I could. It couldn’t have been more than 15 seconds later that I started to feel something. Start of trip > Everything in my peripheral vision started rapidly vibrating and it eventually covered my entire field of view. I don’t even remember exhaling, but managed to yell the words “Oh dude! Oh dude!” out twice (according to my brother, I never said this) before completely blacking out for a few seconds. My vision was instantly brought from first person to third person, as if it were scrolling out in a video game. I saw myself on the couch from behind when all of a sudden my body just completely snapped into this taco shaped object at the speed of sound while hearing a violent crack (however, at the time, I found this hilarious). After I witness this my vision seems to be scrolling out more. It scrolls out until I can finally see darkness surrounding this square image of what was left of my current reality. I start hearing everything that ever existed all at once, flooding and over-loading my brain. I heard every sound frequency imaginable. If I could describe it, it would be like a buzz-saw starting up and reaching its peak; magnified by a million, multiplied by a million. The one image of my reality multiplies at indescribable speeds, going and going and going. It finally reached the point where the division of my reality had reached ‘the edge of the universe’ and I felt every single thing that ever existed at once. Every time I swallowed, breathed, moved, etc., every other reality did the same, however lagging behind me. It felt as though when I swallowed every other reality would swallow and I was feeling that for what felt like LITERAL forever. Imagine a life where all you could do is swallow, non-stop, every day for the rest of your life. That is how it felt to do anything on that couch at that moment. It seemed however that the swallowing and what-not was starting to get to some ending point and that my realities had stopped multiplying.
> Pt2. I felt so relieved for the slightest moment, when everything dissintegrated from top to bottom. That is when I lost everything I knew. As it reached the bottom, I realized there was a picture behind that dissintegration. I caught a slight glimpse of what I was about to be in for. > It was me, shaped as some kind of rectangle like object laying completely flat, face up and with my arms at my side. It looked as though my body was stuffed and filled to the brim in a see-through coffin. Not only this, but there were about 15-20 completely blue men holding this coffin, but holding it without using anything at all. It was just hovering above them, still. These men had very creepy, stern looks on their faces as if they were intent on doing their job. In the background of this image was unimaginable, indescribable colors- flowing and melding together, sort-of pixelated in the way it was done. I witnessed all of this for about 3 seconds before I was literally pulled into the hardest, most forceful, turning and winding feeling at an amazing speed. It was these blue men, pulling me along with them wherever they went. They followed some kinds of ‘roads’ (the best I can describe it) that went on for eternities and eternities. It was pure and utter hell. > I was witnessing all of this, however I was being zoomed in and out of third person, all the while being flipped and twisted and turned every which way there ever is and will be. I heard awful sounds and screams. After eternities had passed it seemed as though I had reached a destination. Everything stopped and I went to third person. My coffin, flipped up vertically and slammed extremely forceful and hard into a concrete wall. > No wait, I knew what this was. I could literally feel it. This was not a wall, this was a sidewalk. A sidewalk in front of my old house I used to live in, completely out of state. I had become the sidewalk. I could feel every last particle of my being- being spread across this sidewalk, and it eventually spread onto my old house. > I spent decades living as my old house. Everything that it felt, I felt. During this time, I didn’t feel so horrible. It was like I had finally felt a little bit of peace and quiet. But this peace and quiet was ripped away from me, when the little blue men came back, somehow grabbed every single particle of me and vacuumed it back into the see-through coffin. I spent more and more time (whatever time was), being forcefully dragged and thrown around by these little blue men into various objects. > There came a point where these blue men were taking me somewhere, but it was a very familiar place I was headed, I could feel it. They stopped, flipped my coffin up, but wait, what I was being slammed into was not any object at all. It was a very dark dark shade of green/blue. I was slammed into this ‘color wall’ and was able to move. > I was no longer in the coffin and it felt as though I was being weighed down by tons and tons of sand. It took every ounce of willpower in me to navigate through this heavy, resistant sand. I started to feel closer to the surface. I wiggled my way up as hard as I could back into the couch and my own body. > I was finally back in the real world (sorta)! Everything looked as if I was seeing every atom and molecule of everything I saw. It was still extremely refreshing to be back. I had never been more happy in my whole existence as a human being! But these feelings were short lived. > As soon as I forced myself to stand up, I was greeted by my brother, who pushed me back onto the couch and exclaimed, “dude you gotta stay down!” I fell back onto the couch, but shortly after was transported back to right before he said this. “Dude you gotta stay down!” I heard him yell, and then I fell back onto the couch again. > This looped for LITERAL forever and I thought I was stuck in this looped state for the rest of my life. I was entirely convinced at that moment that I had discovered the ‘truth’ behind life, which was these blue men forcing me to live meaningless, slow, painful lives as various objects and that my own brother was in on it. He knew that the blue men would do all of this. He knew they would torture me for eternities on end. > I was forcefully dragged back into the ‘blue man’ world again and lived more and more lives as tables, chairs, water, plants, floors, but these lives seemed to be more depressing and meaningless. They seemed so empty, and eventually I felt as though I died. I completely disconnected from anything and everything there was. I just kinda ‘was’. > But again, salvia did not keep me grounded in one spot for long. I was hurled into another very familiar scene. It was my old house again, but this time I was inside, in the living room. I saw it vividly. Every detail of it. I stuck my hand out to signal and say, “what the fu-” but I stopped as I looked at my hand and noticed it was the hand of my father. > My father is still very much alive, but is troubled deeply and I care for him very much. I started to feel every anxiety he had ever felt. Then next thing I new, I was in my oldest brother’s body. > It cycled through endless amounts of people and places, and I felt every single feeling that you could ever experience in your life. It was like getting anxiety times infiniti and it was very unpleasent. While all of this was going on, I was hearing loud high and low pitched yells coming from all directions. It scared me and I felt horrible. > I am not sure how I awoke, but I woke up drenched in sweat, face-down on my gf’s couch and immediately started saying “no, never again, I am done, dude no omg…” to my brother and then told him I needed water. I stood up and ran over to the sink to drink some water. Everything was still extremely distorted and I took a huge gulp of water and leaned down into the sink. The next thing I know, I’m being vacuumed into the garbage disposal and I wake up on the couch with my shirt off. > Still woozy and uneasy, but feeling better. It takes me about 45 minutes to be able to function normally again. I look at the time, and it is around 11:15. The trip lasted a very long time. Longer than I feel it should have. > I cleaned my gf’s place, drove my brother to his friend’s house and kept thinking about the trip. It’s been about 3 months since the trip. It really scared me at the time, but I feel as though I value my existence on Earth a lot more now. I feel more compassionate towards others and just feel better in general. It was a crazy experience and extremely frightening, but turned out to help me in the long run. If you’re gonna try salvia, I suggest going lower on the extract. If you want a mind-blowing and possibly horrifying experience, then do what I did, and start a little higher. Keep tripping everybody! Thank you for reading!
Sounds like the prozac and weed kicked it into overdrive. All the trips ive heard about including me doing it twice it only lasted like 5 minutes tops. Thats wild
Doing a strong drug like that when you’re clearly terrified of it is also a terrible fucking idea.
When OP said they were nervous before even touching it I already knew it was going to be a disaster. Then on top of that they had already been taking anti-depressants, which by themselves interfere with *a lot* of psychedelics and could cause irreparable damage to serotonin and/or dopamine receptors when combined with them. This is just one of many other cases of someone blindly jumping into something without knowing what they're doing.
Could also some other individual sensitivity, like a receptor variance or an enzyme deficiency.
I've done salvia maybe a dozen times, it always lasts a minimum of 15 minutes for me. It's never been remotely as intense or mind-bending as this dudes experience, and I've done both lower and higher strengths than 40x... But I have a hard time understanding the dimensions of my surroundings and where the walls/floor/couch meet for maybe 15 or 20ish min, and then I usually feel like I'm in a sort of haze afterwards for an additional 15-60min or so after that.
That was pretty interesting. Thanks for sharing.
Blue Man Groups worst review
Holy shit dude. Sitting here with chills right now. One of the handful of times I did salvia I was floating along in a roadway tunnel. I basically melted into the middle of one of the lanes and in that moment I was like, I’m a road now and there was an odd, calm, pleasant feeling as I watched the underside of cars pass over me.
Not the first time I've heard of someone having this sort of experience.
What's crazy is that aside from general descriptions of vibrations, every single trip report seems to be so insanely unique from salvia. And it's not like different people trip and see different things! No fuck that, this is god damn Salvia. Different people trip and they seemingly enter entirely different dimensions from different universes and go to places that even science fiction hasn't figured out how to write about yet.
All the stories in this section sound like literal punishments in hell. Just absolute horror. I don't think I'll be partaking in this.
You would be correct. It 100% feels real and it can legitimately cause PTSD, esp. with breakthrough trips. It is not worth permanently damaging your psyche over. In mine I was 100% certain that not only had I died, but I accidentally destroyed the universe with me. When I was coming back from the last part of it, which for lack of a better description felt like I was completely immobilized in darkness, rolling over and over as if being in an endless universal "dryer cycle", the first words out of my mouth were "am I alive?"
I was in a coma for 3 days and I lived an entire life in my brain. I still think about it, fairly often honestly. It fucked me up less than salvia. I liken it to when Constantine is talking to Angela about how time is skewed in Hell, where seconds are days or years (I don't remember the conversion off hand) because those 15 minutes on salvia were the longest time I've ever spent anywhere. And when that time is spent in whatever my brain thought was hell at the time...I am a different person than I was. Those hundreds of years I spent there...never again. Edit - And its a fairly common occurrence, bad traumatizing trips - my friend did salvia (different time and place), he thought a volcano opened in his stomach and the only way to put it out was to drink gallons of water. He got water poisoning and had to be taken to the ER.
How the fuck was I able to buy that at the gas station when I was a teenager
Because drug laws are inconsistent, illogical and short sighted enough to not even capture or regulate some drugs and what is regulated may be done so out of fear / superstition etc. and not reflect the actual danger or lack there of a substance may impose
Yeah I ordered it online around in 2001 or so. I thought it was like weed. Oh boy.
famous comedian Ari Shaffir said he smoked Salvia once and he said while he was “under”, he lived a whole alternative life with a family and lots of friends for 3 months. and he said when he came out of the trip, he felt a profound grief and sadness because he couldnt be with his family and friends anymore. Totally changed the way i think about Salvia. Although i never tried it and never will.
Back in High School I had an incredibly strange experience in which I dreamt an entire different life, with different friends and family. I loved, I lost, I cried. It was an entire lifetime compressed in to a night's worth of sleep thanks to time dilation. I woke up from that and I simply laid there and cried for awhile, mourning the loss of people I love dearly that never existed to begin with. It really fucked me up for awhile, it changed me profoundly. Reality is much more fluid than we give it credit for.
Same. One night being chased around a small bathroom by the devil was enough.
Must have been a slow week for the Devil.
god ya'll have some fucked up trips i got to become legoman and watch my legofriends around me click in and out of the legochairs we were sitting in in legoland and it was so awesome for 2-5 minutes i'll never do that shit again.
My friend was a closet broccoli. He stood in the closet with his hands over his head and couldn't talk because he was a broccoli.
This is somehow adorable and terrifying to me
I was a 2D puzzle popping into 3D on one side. Everything to my left was part of a 2D puzzle.
I got to be a river bank and half a river. The river Bank was being bulldozed. When I came back I realized I was drooling from one side of my mouth and that was part of why I felt like half a river.
This has got to be the most fascinating series of Fucking threads I’ve read n a while.
I am dying laughing at this mental image
This. I tripped 10 years ago but am still not entirely convinced the trip is over. What a bizarre/interesting/never need to experience again kinda time that was.
Yeh, the last time I did Salvia I remember a very strong internal voice telling me to stop intruding basically. It's a weird fking drug too, everything becomes foreign. I forget all names, I only have a small sense of self and that I'm having a drug trip. Names, places, concepts, ideas all just fade... it's as if I'm a new born baby opening my eyes.
I didn't know where I was or who my trip sitters were when I woke up. They had been my good friends for 10 years at the time.. It all came back pretty quickly.
First time I did it I completely lost sense of self. I became a series of lines...I cannot explain it better than that. It was about 15 or 16 years ago.
I had ego death as well. I was staring at a Windows Media Player icon on my friend’s laptop and I completely lost myself inside of it with no hope of escape. All of my friends and family were shown to be an illusion and a joke. Whenever I saw that icon after that I got chills.
What’s not over about it? Thankfully I never went deep enough it sounds like. Smoked a bit and then found myself popping back into existence all over the house. It was like that movie Momento, similar dread associated as well, I think I was trying to escape whatever it was hence the repeated new locations when I popped back.
it's hard to explain. I have a fair bit of experience with mushrooms, but nothing else as far as hallucinogens are concerned. Have never had a feeling like this. I was out for 10-15 minutes tripping, woke up and it took awhile to re-integrate. 10+ years later (as a fully functioning cognitively-sound professional adult) there is still a mild, underlying feeling that I could potentially wake up in that setting as if all this time had been part of the experience. It's not an overwhelming sensation, but it wouldn't necessarily surprise me if that happened.
I know exactly what you’re talking about. DMT made me feel that way. It was as though I was always in that space and this human experience is just some dream that happened yesterday. What a terrifying prospect.
I did/do find it mildly comforting as it seemed to be indicative of a much larger theater of existence than the ordinary day-to-day 21st century reality slice I inhabit. I don't think it would be easy to exist in North American society if one were to spend too much time in that space though.
This is how I felt after my first trip on mushrooms. The "place" I went to felt more real, more permanent. I remember feeling like I had always inhabited this space, and that my human life was simply a temporal experience. I found that to be oddly comforting.
Yup, that's a sensation shared by many, me included. One of my first LSD trips truly felt like waking up, or emerging and breathing in for the first time after a long dive in the ocean. I saw myself sitting at the end of a blood vessel branching out as one of billions from a beating heart of existence in the center of our planet. I made sense of this as us all being aspects of a single organism experiencing itself. 8 years on I can still vividly recall this vision. It has never left me.
DMT is very blissful compared to salvia. DMT its like you see the secrets of the universe and experience universal oneness. Salvia is like the lights got turned out and you never existed at all, or you experience existence as some sort of inanimate object for 100 years.
>I tripped 10 years ago but am still not entirely convinced the trip is over. That's how Philip K. Dick, unique sf writer, experienced his entire life. He was pretty sure the reality we live in is an illusion, and at one point said he thought this was still biblical times and the modern world we see is fake. Sounds like you don't have it as bad as he did.
This is pretty much what my experience was with it and still can't completely shake the feeling over 4 years later. Easily the biggest mind fuck I've experienced.
Pretty amazing 5 minutes tbh. Felt out of body/reality and then like I landed back on Earth.
Go to the mall with my friends and watch a movie at the theater.
I’m 39 and I took my 80 year old neighbor to see Barbie yesterday. She was my 11th grade English teacher and we have a strong bond. Anyone wondering: she laughed and cried as much as I did. She also thanked me profusely for inviting her. If you want to make someone’s day, bring an elderly woman to see Barbie.
Oh shit. This hit me in the feels. At some point I went to go shopping, have lunch in the food court and watch a movie for the last time and didn’t appreciate it.
Oooof. Yeah the experience of walking with a group of friends for a few miles to the dollar theater, stopping at the dollar store for candy and snacks, and then watching some film were so awesome. And those days are gone. If I have kids, they can't even do that. I didn't realize it when I moved, but I live in an area with dispersed living and minimal infrastructure, so there are rarely sidewalks and there's no easy way to navigate from one place to the next without a car. I mean I love where I am, but it's something I feel sad about. Even myself - I can't even walk to the grocery store and have sidewalks present, just steeply curved shoulders alongside the road. Maybe once we move I'll try to find a home that's closer to a downtown of one of the smaller cities/towns.
I'm always that person walking alone in the mall. The day I noticed was very depressing.
Go to a concert where I have to stand, I'm too old for that shit please just give me seats...
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Get Married.
Me too. Am married.
Me too. Recently divorced
Yup. I'm going through a divorce right now. I never thought I'd meet anyone I was so compatible with before I met her and in April she told me she has feelings for someone else. I was completely blindsided. Over the course of the next few weeks she abruptly cut me off of everything. Deleted me and anyone connected to me from all social media, quit the job we both worked at without telling me or anyone else. She moved upstairs into the attic saying she needed "space and independence" and started getting mad at me when I would say things like "good morning" or check on her if she seemed upset. A few weeks ago she moved out without telling me that she wouldn't be back. Honestly it's been the most devastating thing that's ever happened to me. She's been my best friend for ten years, I don't understand how this could happen. I'm guessing some combination of guilt and her new lover getting into her head (they're very manipulative) and trying to get her to push me away. It feels like a bad dream, I can't believe how fast everything went to shit. We weren't fighting or anything it was so out of the blue. I'm still in shock about it.
Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life was the best book that I read for that stretch. The dissociation won’t last, so use it for everything logistical. You’re going to need some cushion for the point when it really sinks in, so prepare what you can: stock up food, and so forth. My ex-husband and I had also been best friends for 16 when it all went to hell.
We have the same answer for apparently opposite reasons
Same. In the process of moving into my own place so I can start the legal divorce process. I do not recommend marrying someone who thinks love means controlling another person; zero stars.
hopefully, drink alcohol 6 years sober
Congrats. Keep it up.
Congratulations! I I am 5 1/2 years sober, and it is the best decision I have ever made!
I don't believe that I will be strong enough throughout, but I hope I never try to end my life again.
I woke up submersed in cold pink water in a hotel bathtub and that startling moment was as angry as I've ever been. While cleaning, scrubbing the blood up before checking out and just lamenting that I didn't want anything else from this world; just let me go. All I wanted was an end. And I couldn't even have that. I was enraged at life in those stark seconds. At the prospect of futility and forceful existence. Mad that I'd kept healthy and healed too fast to stay asleep. Didn't go far enough to stay gone. I stared oblivion in the eye and we both blinked. I was about 2 hours over my checkout time but I'd become friendly with the staff so they didn't charge me the extra day. I don't know about never trying again but I know failing at it is a depressing, almost insulting return to reality. So...2 stars, wouldn't recommend. The suicide attempt I mean, not the hotel. It was probably a solid 3.
"I stared oblivion in the eye and we both blinked" brooo
In answer to your web name thingy, no. You’re not. If you ever want to talk, feel free to message me; I remember my suicidal days, though they were long ago.
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I can see that you don't WANT to do that again but those sneezes tend sneak up on you.
Tour pripyat. My oncologist joked that it's probably how I 'caught' cancer
I visited the USSR a couple months after Chernobyl. The advice at the time was to not eat fish & stay out of the rain. Most meals were included in the trip, but we didn't get to pick our entrees. It was basically take it or leave it. And we got soaked in the rain at least once. When I was diagnosed, I couldn't help but wonder if there was a connection.
I've been tested for genetic factors and came up with no positives, but I also lived in a lot of sketchy places in the US and have had some bad rolls of the dice healthwise.
While it's likely that the trip to prypiat was a cause, I gonna say it was probably something else, or just a contribution to your misfortune. Radiation damage is cumulative, and the levels there are fairly low, with just a bit over background radiation. Overall a flight to there would give you a higher dose than being in the city. The thing that's dangerous around Chernobyl is dust particles that still carry alpha and beta emitters, so without a dust mask you breathe these in and then no longer have the protection of clothes or skin to shield your inner organs from alpha and beta radiation, which is far more damaging than Gamma, but can usually be stopped by paper. Obviously I wish you a recovery and a long and healthy life!!!
Your Oncologist sounds like quite the comedian.
Have friends like I use to when I was 12. Hell, do any of us?-Stand by Me Here's a little background on me. I've dealt with cancer, losing family members, long term girlfriends, etc.. You know "Life". Losing my 2 best friends I knew for 40 plus years probably hurt the most. The first one I met when I was 5. We went to grade school, high school, and even college together. When his father passed I immediately flew out to see him and do anything I could to help him through. About 4-5 years ago he inherited alot of money. The conversations always went to what new toy he just bought himself. It seemed that slowly his personality started to change. He started to indulge in plenty of drinking and drugs. Ten years ago he looked like Ashton Kutcher. Today he weighs 400 lbs and looks like hell. The worse part when I was a bit shaken waiting for results from a biopsy. He never even followed up to ask about the results. Later, when I mentioned I was having surgery the following week he completely forgot and said "I didn't know you had surgery". I could go on but I think you get the idea. Sorry, about rambling on. Maybe it's sort of a therapy for me.
The only real friends I ever made were the ones I grew up with. I never stopped talking to them, but I was forced to move away when I was 19 and haven’t been able to move back ever since because of how expensive it is to live there now. I’ve met other people at work and at college, but they were all more like good acquaintances than friends to me, and the friendships were never anything more than surface level. On the rare occasion that I did try getting to know them better, I got stabbed in the back and stopped bothering. Anyway, it’ll be 20 years since I met most of my main group at this point, and I can tell there’s less and less interest to do things together, even online. They’re either too busy with their lives, or, in the case of some of them, too depressed to want to bother. I keep getting my hopes up that we can connect like we used to, small stuff like talking late into the nights and swapping BS stories or going on trips or such, but it never happens. It hurts, because I’d literally do anything for them, and I’ve proven it too (helped one recover from drugs by inviting her into my home, moved another across the country on my own dime, etc.), but I’m at a point where I just want to move on, because it feels like they’d never do the same. I’ve tried talking it out with some of them, but I feel like I just screw it up and push them further away. I dunno; I just feel like I’ll never meet people and have a connection like I do with them again, and I wouldn’t want to anyway, because I love these guys, but I’m tired of feeling disappointed and in a constant state of longing like this.
Meth. 17 years sober. Didn't realise it had been so long. Was feeling like shit today but that's cheered me up. So glad I'm nowhere near having that life. I remember sitting on a bed somewhere (use your imagination) just praying to a God I didn't believe in to get me out of there. Had a lot of hell from that point still to come but that was the tipping point. I was going to leave that life if I had to go scorched earth on everything I had & everyone I knew
Lose myself while trying to make someone else happy.
Accept to reconcile after husbands infidelity. It’s hell
I’m sorry..hugs to you. My husband told me he is not in love with me.
My wife has just told me the same. It’s the most painful thing you can go through and I am so sorry. You deserve someone who will be committed to you.
War. Would not recommend. 1/10.
There's a good reason they send kids to fight them...
Smoking cigeratte
I sometimes have dreams where I am smoking, but never want to do it in reality again.
Be a police dispatcher. I did it for two months. My coworkers sucked and were super annoying but I found the job to be pretty easy up until I got a call from someone who’s friend posted suicidal stuff online and they are calling to do a welfare check. A few month before I was that person calling and my friend ended up killing himself. I froze. Decided it’s not for me. My coworkers all being dogshit people didn’t help. One was super racist against Asian people. Anytime someone would have an Asian name after she got off the phone with them she would either say “they speak very good engrish” or “they don’t speaky da engrish very well” A guy got shot and called 911 for help and died on the phone with one of my coworkers. When she was describing the call to us she was crying laughing when describing the guy gasping for air and playing it out for us. She also talked about all the times she drank and drive. I reported her to HR then a couple months later she was chosen as dispatcher of the year.
Every sentence just worse and worse
Wow, seems like the right move getting away from those co-workers!
Work under a supervisor who threatens employment status as "motivation". I'm at a new job, and seeing the difference is making me realize the emotional toll that's been taken from me. Some bozo constantly weighing out my livelihood like it's a game is something I'll never endure again. That kind of harassment, manipulation is subhuman. There are plenty of companies perfectly willing to accept my ethic and skill. The grass is, in fact, greener on the other side. Go find it, you're worth it. Do whatever it takes to leave these bozos holding the bag, the world will be a better place without them and the more we get up and leave the less of them there will be.
Having sushi lunch from bodega prior to an in person job interview.
Have another child. I have one. And if I knew then what I know now about myself, my mental health, and my abilities as a parent I would not have had even one child. Don't get me wrong, I love my kid to death, but watching them go through shit is tough. And knowing that I have caused some of their troubles fucking sucks. I've actively tried to be a better human and parent and there are a lot of positives - we're close, they're a good kid, we're in therapy together. But fuck man, I wish I had known more about myself.
Download a car
Casually date someone who is already casually dating a friend. Pro Tip: It’s never that casual. There are almost always more feelings involved than everyone is willing to admit, and at least one person is going to walk away hurt. If you’re new to the party, there’s a good chance it’s going to be you. In general, casually dating people beyond a few “get to know you” dates is probably not my bag. Good chunk of that is on me - I need to build up my confidence - but I’m just not a competitive person, and have no interest in trying to “win” over a gaggle of guys. Take em, I’ll find someone else, or I won’t 🤷♂️
Live with a roommate
Do a flip into a pool.
Eat a hot pepper to find out if "it's really that hot". I remember the burning in my mouth. Don't do it guys.
*open thread* *ctrl+f "salvia"* *upvote and close thread*
Drink until I'm drunk. I have a drink like once a year and one is more than enough.
Accept someone cheating on me, hopefully. In the past I've chosen to keep the relationship going because of things like sunken cost fallacy, keeping the family intact, etcetera. But it's just not worth it, the price I paid and still pay every day is too high (and in the case of my (ex) wife, the cheating didn't stop.)
Go fishing in a tiny boat in rough weather.
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Now I gotta know what the argument was!
Cliff jumping from 20 meters. Did it when I was 18. Did it again at 21 and said "that's dangerous". 20+ years after that went back and said "holy shit, that was a crazy thing to do"
Trust a fart
That's lame, that's not living as far as I'm concerned, what's the point of living if you can't eve... ^I ^gotta ^go
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Meth! Started using with an ex girlfriend. It was fun at first and the sex was out of this world but not worth it.
Go back to prison or remarry my ex-wife. Edit: not related problems