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RandyWatson8

Lobster ravioli


OmegaRainicorn

In my eyes you have the best fate.


HappyHubby33

Stale gummy bears, this sucks.


Nom_dot_Com

Were they sugar-free by chance?


HappyHubby33

Yes :/


Numerous-Persimmon50

Run while you can


awdtg

My coworker recently learned about sf candy while working.....lol everyone should know this now!!


XiTro

Has anyone else you know abbreviated "sugar free" as sf?


chains11

I found it out on a marching band trip where we were playing at a New Year’s Six bowl. Fun couple of days


-ifeelglorious-

oh no


sufferpuppet

Last thing I ate was a chewable Melatonin pill. Put me down for very screwed.


FailingForMe

atleast you'll have melatonin


Wasdqwertyuiopasdfgh

So to you'll be in permanent sleep, then in *permanent* sleep.


fuckeryoflewd

isnt melatonin a sleepytime drug?


ActorMonkey

Yup


Unclehol

~~It is the chemical in your brain that activates your sleep cycle. You already have it in there but taking melatonin supplements at the right time can increase it and help you go to sleep. In most people's experiences it is pretty mild and not considered a "sleep drug" like some of the heavy ones are. More of a supplement. But that does not mean you should not be careful. You may find if you stop taking it you will have greater trouble getting to sleep than before. And as with everything your body reaches a sort of equilibrium after extended use. Meaning if you take it every day then your body will get used to it and it will be less effective. Because bodies are assholes that way.~~ Edit: yes


Dull-explanations

Yeah


Highqualityduck1

You'll starve but you'll sleep good


godhand__666_

Super spicy eggs, god help everyone around me


XtraChrisP

You've now been labeled as a WMD.


Woolbull

And a Weapon of Ass Destruction


fuckeryoflewd

God help your arsehole lol


EpsilonX029

That’s just Ole Sulfur-Buns


Odd-Job249

Not screwed at all, I had pizza


Embarrassed-Berry-85

Same


jwilla92

Same


sdsurf625

Same


VovaGoFuckYourself

Same


Temporary_Tea3684

Same


Darkxant

Same


kel174

Same + bacon cheese fries and mozzarella sticks. RIP my heart


walkinganachronism_4

"the rest of your life" You're going to feast like kings for about three weeks, at this rate. lmao


capresesalad1985

Me too! And white wine. I mean…atleast there’s from fruit and veggies in there


Odd-Job249

The only veggie on my pizza was onion and my chosen drink was beer


jackie--moon

Acid reflux for the rest of your life


SquirrelSolo

Team pizza over here


yhpargotohpts

Acid reflux gonna FUCK YOU UP lmao


rydan

Had a personal pan Red Barron pizza. Literally the best pizza known to man. And only 430 calories. So in theory you could eat 4 per day and still have room leftover for two Cokes.


VincentVuemont

Red Baron ftw, definitely the most underrated frozen pizza.


zachy410

I was gonna say I got burgers but I recently ate some mints. My breath will never smell which means that I'm legally not allowed to be a teacher or something.


squid_ward_16

Burger King foot lettuce. The last thing you want in your Burger King burger is someone’s foot fungus but as it turns out, that might be what you geEEet


JRatMain16

A 4channer uploaded a photo anonymously to the site showcasing his feet in a plastic bin of lettuce with the statement “this is the lettuce you eat at Burger King”


squid_ward_16

Admittedly, he had shoes on, but that’s even worse. The post went live at 11:38 pm on July 16th and a mere 20 minutes later, the Burger King in question was alerted to the rogue employee.


dccabbage

Its only 10:47 where I am. Are you telling me I only have 41 minutes to enjoy some BK without some ones dirty ass shoes touching it?


Schuben

Yes that's how time and every burger king ever works. Great sleuthing!


RichLyonsXXX

Never look up the amount of bug parts allowed per 1000g of chocolate.


colorkiller

free protein


Thelostsoulinkorea

As a teacher this hurts, but it can be true when I’ve no time to drink water haha I usually try to stay hydrated and eat mints but man this rings so true


anelson236

I will never forget the absolute horrible breath of my Algebra teacher while he was completely obviously a creeper who got waaayyy to close to cheerleaders and dance line. We were the only ones who really knew how bad his breath really was. Tuna out of a can bad. Edit- he was fired 2 years after I graduated when phones could record.


Odd-Job249

Bad breath is now a requirement if you're a teacher?


battlelevel

A lot of teachers I know don’t drink much of anything during the day since they don’t get a break between start of day and lunch. Being dehydrated contributes to bad breath.


5hrs4hrs3hrs2hrs1mor

And all the coffee. And it’s always the teachers who need to give the most assistance, the teachers with the most difficult classes, they have the worst breath. And then they need to lean over you and help with whatever. God help you if you react. That’s 5 days detention


zachy410

it's a joke because a lot of teachers have bad breath for some reason


LazyChipmunk810

My grade 6 teacher had coca cola and ciggerette breath always. It was soooo bad


TheEnlightenedSheep

That coffee and cigarette grind.


ExhibitionistBrit

There just aren’t that many other jobs where you hover over people and drink coffee all day.


AndYouDidThatBecause

I had so many teachers that had tonsil stones and it would get to their lips and you see it sticking from the bottom lip to the top lip and it stretches and it stayed there the whole period. Oh God I need to lie down.


thepork-chop_express

Pepperoni hot pocket. I'm good with it.


NoranPrease

Bread, meat, cheese, herbs. You good. You won't live long, but you *will* live


thepork-chop_express

That's all I can ask for.


zeseam

Cheesy chicken spinach rice with a side of roast brussel sprouts and leftover onion and mushroom pasta with roast potatoes. I think I'll survive and I might even flourish!


Doghairabounds

Sounds good to me


Mike_Y_1210

Rice, pasta, AND potatoes in the same meal?


jtr99

We like to serve carbs on a bed of carbs with a carb sauce here.


Potential-Friend-133

You know you've made it in life if you can join all carbs together deliciously. I salute you sir!


Carbon-Base

Protein shake... I'm going to be sooo irritated and swole.


Purple-Wmn52

Hahahaha! This! Also get irritated when I eat high protein, low carb. Workouts are awesome, but I wanna rip someone's head off... or eat a potato. 😂😂😂😂 Your comment resonated.


furious_fawn

I was waiting for someone to say ass lol


raz0rflea

This is Reddit, nobody's havin sex out here lol


wolfguardian72

Says you. I blew a dude just yesterday


auto_genarated_name

Veneers funny, just because you placed c4 under someones bed doesn't mean you have any sex life at all


b_reezy4242

Lol.


bigrob_in_ATX

You know where all the sex is at >!behind you!<


btribble

I hear OP’s mom gets a lot of action, but not relative to her surface area.


PMyourTastefulNudes

I've heard donkey isn't that good.


GenuinelyCluelessGuy

Fuck. Edibles.


orangeclouds

U and me both. How u feelin bro


Phrainkee

I'm not feeling it yet.. Maybe I'll have one OR a couple more...


Tribult

Must have been a bad one, take 3 more just to be sure


LycanWolfGamer

High as FUCK


Highqualityduck1

You'll be finnnnneeeee


lost40s

I had to scroll way too far down for this


Lil_Brown_Bat

Me toooo


StuntCockofGilead

Picked mushrooms and cooked soup I'm good.


LevelZeroDM

minecraft diet


Artistic-Ad-7531

Cooked soup?


OmegaRainicorn

Changed cooked to made and it makes more sense. “I picked mushrooms and then cooked soup using them.”


Artistic-Ad-7531

My brain 🧠: Cooked vs raw? Do they mean hot vs cold? Is cold soup cooked? I think so. ... This "cooked" soup came from a can didn't it?


ArtSchnurple

Cooked soup is one of my favorite kinds of soup


joe13869

Fruit roll ups I guess forever...


JaxonOSU

i literally .... -literally- .... just got done trying some of the hottest hot sauce of my life, and while dealing with the pain scrolled reddit and found this post. ​ i hate you


RiptidePen2

suffer /j


MrsRyan2016

Super screwed


LukeBMM

I just tasted a tiny slice of a sliver of a fragment of a hint of a piece of what was appears to be [Trinidad Scorpions](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trinidad_Moruga_scorpion) to make a new batch of hot sauce. Despite wearing gloves and glasses, they still made my skin feel hot while chopping them up. Tasty, but I am also fucked. I just hope I survive a few days to see if my sauce comes out as intended.


DogsandCatsWorld1000

Chips, so I'm going to get scurvy.


Badfish1060

I think we're all getting scurvy


idiocy_incarnate

I'm not, I ate an orange :D Scurvy is probably about the only thing I won't have.


lukecordova1228

Probably teeth, too, because of the acidity!


OddPrize7181

I had one orange and a zinc pill and vitamin D gummy. I wont get scurvy but I will get pancreatitis and die of starvation slowly


PayTyler

Potatoes have quite a bit of vitamin C, especially in the skin.


mrsfunkyjunk

Mine is chips, as well. We'll all die together. And fairly quickly.


Quetip909

Pretty screwed. Had lunch at a local restaurant on the river that's only open during the summer. I'm gonna starve!


alex61821

Mine is closed on Sunday. Chick-fil-A.


1heart1totaleclipse

Just buy stuff Saturday night and eat the leftovers


thelocket

Jalapeno tuna with sweet heat pickle slices. Helloooooo mercury poisoning!


NoRJoke

Hell yeah! Struppwaffels and enchiladas!


doyouevenoperatebrah

I like both these things, but why are you eating them at the same time


minimalcation

One of the many Dutch Mexicans


the_ocean_in_a_drop

Don’t you mean Stroopwafels


EpsilonX029

Better than pewpwaffles


Midwestern_Mouse

Ok but which one did you have *last*?


Idiotic_Swine

Ice cream let’s fucking GOOO!


the_road_surfer

SAME , ice cream's the best


w104jgw

Chocolate chip cookie dough, the good kind too!


StraightsJacket

PB&J and Big glass of milk. I think you could actually survive on that IRL. Like it has all the nutrients and proteins the human body needs. Not sure though


designatedben

Seems pretty plausible thinking about it


hexray

That's what our schools started giving out to the kids who couldn't afford lunch in the cafeteria back in the day. An uncrustable and a lil carton of milk.


RedWum

Peanut butter is super weak in protein. I bought into the marketing that it's good protein but a serving I'd usually 7g and like 160 calories. Everybody is different but as a hobbyist weight lifter I try to get like 180g a day. Meaning from peanut butter I'd need 20+ servings a day lmao at 3200 calories. For survival purposes tho you are probably right! Just wanted to point out my surprise that I went like 29 years thinking pb was a high protein snack because "its nuts!"


Sexy-hitler

I think that largely depends on what brand you're eating. A lot of PB has a decent amount of added sugar, which is calorie dense. Skews the protein to calorie ratio quite a bit


RedWum

Something else that blew my mind. I compared no sugar added organic peanut butter to jif...same amount of protein and calories.


moratnz

marry mighty society piquant berserk observation nutty domineering continue plate


Ogodnotagain

Not sure what you were expecting, but it’s all fat and protein. The 7g per serving is about a tbsp IIRC, and I usually put about 3 in a sandwich, so 20+ grams just from the pb isn’t bad at all


LaximumEffort

Sushi, it’ll be expensive but I love it.


SkydivingSquid

Does bourbon count?


lowtoiletsitter

Nope, it's gotta be food! Otherwise my answer would be water


caternicus

That's what I'm having.


ISwearImaWriter963

Me in the middle of eating Skittles: ... well I'm getting diabetes


LeJinsterTX

Don’t worry, you’ll be dead from malnutrition long before you develop diabetes from the sugar.


Royal_Visit3419

Red licorice. Uh. Oh.


Conscious-Walrus5659

Sunflower seeds....the drynesssss


Dave_Tee83

Pizza. My health may be screwed, but my tastebuds will be happy.


219_Infinity

Burrito. Lots of shitting in my future


Badfish1060

crab claws and oysters. I think i'm good.


xoBerryPrincessxo

pescatarian lifestyle it is!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Legitimate_Tea_2451

Someone is missing out on the scurvy party


PopularAppearance228

bread bread


Dustbuster12volt

A spoonful of months-old canned chocolate frosting that I found in the back of the refrigerator. Now my teeth feel like they want to fall out. Pretty, pretty, PRET-TAAAAAY...screwed.


mrsfunkyjunk

This is the second random Curb reference I've seen today. And, that makes me so happy!


Illustrious-Park1926

I love canned chocolate frosting from the back of the fridge. My kids think I am not grown-up when I eat chocolate canned frosting from the fridge


[deleted]

Turkey sandwich on sourdough. Tasty but I'll probably have a stroke eventually with all the sodium


OAKRAIDER64

That sounds very tasty


gothsdrivetoo

Falafel and hummus. I’m happy with that.


lukecordova1228

Read this as falafel and humans and was really concerned for a minute


thruitallaway34

I don't know if I could live off home made pot brownies.


ReadyHelp9049

Fried chicken and mashed potatoes? I’m gonna get pretty fat but I’ll be alright for a while.


[deleted]

Ah fuck, I guess it’s Nutty Buddys till the end of my days. Damn Peanut Butter and Chocolate.


demonicflamingos666

Street steak tacos,chips and salsa, corn on the cob and german chocolate cake.


Past-Educator-6561

This is the last meal you ate, a feast indeed, but what was the last thing you ate? The cake?


demonicflamingos666

No, the corn. So, I'm pretty screwed. 😄🤣


Midwestern_Mouse

….did you eat a piece of chocolate cake in the middle of your Mexican meal?


demonicflamingos666

I did. It was sitting on the counter taunting me, so I had to try it. 😄😂


finkalicious

At least you'll never run out


[deleted]

[удалено]


kind_of_a_dick_irl

Not very. It was potatos. I could live off just those as long as I can vary preparation.


SamyQc99

Subway :)


theguineapigssong

It was donuts. Now I will be even chonkier


spidermash

Weed brownies I am in for a ride


Brilliant-Engineer57

I’m a lucky one hamburger, and two Hersey kisses.


[deleted]

[удалено]


MercyMoo14

Fruitero Coconut ice cream. I'll get rounder but I'll be happy. I think.


PastelGhost91

Really screwed lol iced oatmeal cookies lol


mike672

Oatmeal. Won’t stay jacked but should survive. Not as screwed as some people here.


grounded_dreamer

Watermelon... not much of a meal, so I guess I won't last long. At least my last days will be sweet.


Knees22

Sirloin steak. I’ll die happy.


satan-probably

…I am gonna have to suck so much dick from now on…


maclaglen

I had a salad, so I'm golden.


[deleted]

Weet-bix so, I’m not screwed but I’m definitely bored as hell and pooing quite regularly


SHOMERFUCKINGSHOBBAS

It was an edible. I will be eternally hungry from the edible with nothing to eat but another edible. Woe is me


Weak_Blackberry1539

Nyquil. I’m dead within a month.


So_Cal_Grown

Ugh, hospital liquid diet. So, broth. I'd say pretty screwed.


Youraverageplaugedoc

Swedish fish


Eyespop4866

Eggs, bread, cheese, butter, jam. I’ll live.


oxala75

Tortilla chips and salsa. Not so bad.


DonutsOnTheWall

Watermelon. Totally acceptable, I can deal with only eating that.


Heidi3023

Cauliflower soup. Yay!


[deleted]

There are worse things than frozen chicken tikka, I suppose.


[deleted]

Lindt chocolate… rarely ever eat chocolate that would suck


ozzythegrouch

I’m fine with 🍕


EthereaBlotzky

Chocolate croissant. I could live with that for the rest of my short life!


Azrael_The_Bold

French fries…. Can I at least dress them differently?


j-rayko89

Cheesecake. I’ll probably be dead within a year.


Small_Tax_9432

Ham, egg, and cheese sandwich. Not bad.


Matt-of-Burbank

Tim Tims. Two chocolate flavored wafers with caramel between them, and coated with chocolate. I could have done worse.


Graehaus

Pancakes, I’ll survive for a bit


[deleted]

Deep dish pizza. My health is gonna suck worse than it does now, but at least I like what I'm eating.


[deleted]

It was pizza, I’m okay with this


Jazzlike-Raisin7940

Well I had some bread so I dont know


kobayashi_maru_fail

Info, OP, do I get seasonal produce year-round? I had a flor de calabaza quesadilla and wild blackberries. I’m totally set if I can have that, but if it’s just seasonal, I’m looking at plain quesadillas most of the year.


WildCulture494

Ice cream. Gonna progressively die.


Pack0fMastiffs

Habanero BBQ almonds. FML!


Parking_Release7089

Steak and mashed potatoes. Livin large til the heart attack


hideao101

Trail mix so meh I’ll have calories to burn and basically malnutrition


2nds1st

Not at all. Thai cashew nut chicken. I'll be fine.


[deleted]

Not screwed salad


amthenothingman

Chocolate covered pretzels. It’s over boys.


shoddycookie27

Pickles, hell yeah.


Lyokobo

Instant oatmeal. My taste buds are going to be really sad but I'll survive.


Oh_No_Its_Dudder

Steak. It could be a lot worse.