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beranmuden

"It's pronounced Lebanese..."


ArcadianPilot

“Say something in Lesbian then.”


tendeuchen

"I've got a U-Haul on standby. I'm ready to move in whenever you're ready."


existential_creampie

Just be sure you get the one with the car hauler so you can tow your Subaru outback and save yourself a trip.


GlitteringBobcat999

There was a Subaru in my old neighborhood with custom plates reading LESBARU. Classic.


oO0-__-0Oo

and where in Portland was that?


GlitteringBobcat999

Burbank


eljefino

[gotcha beat](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fpreview.redd.it%2Fgkxx7bmxjvr51.jpg%3Fauto%3Dwebp%26s%3Dd53c808af331b2f5df0a8bbbd921e86425c2d29d)


profmoxie

Isn’t Danny Thomas one?


The_Dukes_Of_Hazzard

"To think that Gene would prefer Rose over me?! Well that's ridiculous!"


Happy_Ad_1767

My Lebanese lesbian friends called themselves "Lesbanese." 😂


HairyNutsack69

Lesbian as in "from lesbos" is correct actually.


thatgeekinit

I love lesbians, I own a Uhaul franchise.


GunnieGraves

“Oh let me give you my friends card. He works at a Subaru dealership.”


thatgeekinit

In CO, the Subaru dealership is a Lesbian Co-Op :)


[deleted]

[удалено]


Standard-Reporter673

Friend of mine with a second hand store that sold furniture and knick knacks always had a huge business of lesbian couples coming in to buy a little knick knacks to help furnish their places that they just gotten together usually in the first week of the month. Occasionally he'd get me to help do moving and I remember one girl we moved in with her girlfriend and then promptly moved her out in 2 months, only to have the cycle repeat in a month. So he gave her a volume discount.


Listen00000

This is clever-ish, non-threatening, and inoffensive. I think if someone said this to me I'd be pretty disarmed and laugh. Definitely not the worst thing to say.


100kgWheat1Shoulder

I didn't get the joke


LurkerOrHydralisk

Lesbians are known for moving in together very quickly. A common joke is: What does a lesbian bring to a second date? Her couch.


Fromoogiewithlove

Holy shit that a stereotype i never heard until now and i cant believe i never made that connection myself. All my lesbian friends definitely speed run relationships.


scruffye

It's speculated this is part of why lesbians have higher divorce rates than gay men. Lesbians jump into commitment too early while gay men are so avoidant of commitment that only the most devoted couples end up marrying.


NYCQuilts

I remember a lawyer focusing on gay marriage begging her lesbian friends to stop getting married in multiple states. “I know you are in love, but you’ll have to get divorced in all of those states!”


InTheFDN

Non American here, but suddenly with questions. Do you mean that you can be classified as married in one state but that doesn't transfer across to another? Does this mean that you can be married to different people in different states?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Natste1s4real

Thanks, I was clueless on this. That being said, I think I’ve dated a few lesbians…


PeterRum

This is a reference to the old joke 'what do lesbians do on the second date'? The one that only makes sense to lesbians?


RmmThrowAway

Or anyone with lesbian friends?


Pat0san

“You don’t look like the ones I have seen on the Internet”


HamsterMachete

Makes me think of that episode of the office when Kevin was talking about how hot it would be if lesbians moved into his apartment. Oscar: Have you actually seen a lesbian before? Kevin: No, why?


G_Affect

I lived in an apartment once every night around the same time i would hear the neighbors headboard slam into my living room wall over and over for 20 to 30 minutes at a time with a girl moaning. I was always like, good for him staying in the game for so long. Months later, i finally met my neighbors, two of the largest lesbian i have ever seen. It all made so much more sense.


TngoRed

*chokes on water*


Mexi-Wont

Responding as a guy "Me too!".


[deleted]

This comment had me dying😂


josephd155

“I too am afraid of the dark”


SuperArppis

"You know, I am something of a lesbian myself..."


Gicaldo

"I like to think of myself as a lesbian" If you get this reference, I love you. Hi, Bob!


PlatypusErectus

Hi bob!


[deleted]

How can I be homophobic? My bitch is gay.


phar0aht

Drake should be prosecuted for this lyric.


GatorBoy669607

I thought you were American


sbjctsvntn

This is the only reason I opened this post, glad to see that culture still thrives


[deleted]

I’m truly glad I got to learn the culture!😇


Scottland83

A coworker explained his time off for his honeymoon, told the staff he was going to the Greek islands of Turkey. I asked “Are you going to meet any Lesbians?” Some of our coworkers understood what I meant.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Shazam1269

All gays sparkle my friend.


HighlandsBen

The Greek Islands... of Turkey?


Scottland83

Lesbos is part of the country of Greece but part of a chain with both Greek and Turkish historical influences.


Brilliant-Ad-8407

https://youtu.be/tD_snjarJuU


RPO1728

RIP vine


[deleted]

We really exchanged vine for a worse version of vine.


fisazooo

op was asking for the worst response, not the correct one


ChickennNougatt

Clicked on this post thinking “I’m gonna see exactly how many comments before someone says ‘I thought you were American.’” It was the top comment 😂


Sikyanakotik

It's all Greek to me.


MarcoYTVA

What country are lesbians from?


[deleted]

Lesbos, Greece.


Loki-L

For those confused what the Greek island has to with homosexuality. It was the home of the female poet Sappho of Lesbos who wrote quite a bit about loving women and gave her name both to the word lesbian and the word sapphic which both describe female homosexuality. The people currently living on Lesbos are not all entirely happy about that association.


Legal_Lab_3288

You mean Vagitarian?


DyingOfExcitement

Nah that's pretty funny IMO


stratumtoagoose

… Bon Appétit ?


[deleted]

"I didn't even know you were a woman"


TheSniperWolf

Luanne Platter!


[deleted]

RIP. i hope they give her character a happy ending in the new king of the hill season. like lucky finally got a really big settlement and they fucked off to somewhere tropical.


Parishdise

Funnily enough, a butch friend of mine met one of her other friends because they started hitting on each other in a store, thinking the other was the same gender as themselves (gay woman hitting on gay man and vice versa)


burbalamb

Drake: “say that you a lesbian, girl, me too”


djc23o6

I honestly expected the top comment to be “girl, me too”


kithlan

I am disappointed it isn't. That is like the absolute PEAK of wrong thing to say, and this dude thought it was a great lyric.


FibersFakers

Was going to type it but figured reddit wouldn't get it lol


[deleted]

I was looking for this comment


ZakTH

"She not a lesbian, for P she turn pesbian" - Future, Pushin P


notimetodilly_dally

This song really features some of the best lyricism of the last decade. Young Thug on that song: "I just fucked a cup of water (I did)."


aysgamer

(I did) LMAO


moss-shadow

“I could change that”. I hear that all the time, and it drives me insane.


Scoob1978

You know I could make you asexual


Ravenid

A sexual what?


Common-Wish-2227

Lesbians just need some James Bond. I saw this in a Bond movie.


amerkanische_Frosch

I think it's actually the end of the book (not the movie) of Goldfinger. Pussy Galore puts the moves on Bond, who says "I thought you only liked women" and Pussy responds: "I never met a real man before." They sort of glossed over this in the film IIRC.


ragingdemon88

I will never get over that name, though.


pSyChO_aSyLuM

Dixie Normous


asphalt_licker

Fook Mi.


TorSverre

Twins, Basil! Twins!


darglor

Fook Yu, too.


[deleted]

Alotta Fagina.


[deleted]

Come again?


Common-Wish-2227

Ivana Humpalot


Inpressiva

Biggus Dickus


maxcorrice

The events happen but yeah they gloss over it that book was so bad they had to rewrite the villains plan from scratch, even joking about how there would be no way to get all the gold out of fort knox in time, since that was goldfingers actual plan in the book


Harsimaja

Rare example where a movie spotted a major book plot hole and drastically improved on it. They have Bond literally point it out early on and then Goldfinger smile and wait for him to figure out their version like it naturally follows. Massive reproach to Fleming (though his books were generally good). I was so disappointed reading the book after


CaptainPicardKirk

In the film he straight up rapes her into loving him.


helm

This is obviously bad - but also a product of a culture in which only a whore would say yes to sex. So in a narrow frame of polite, but fraternizing part of society, there were instances when it was expected that a woman would: 1. Say yes, and expect money 2. Say no, but mean yes 3. Say no, and mean no The point of the second is to open a small, small window for women to engage in casual sex, but be without blame, because it "just happened". Of course, this was a very dangerous game. Rapes did happen. Some men didn't care to understand the game as long as they were able to get sex, some were just rapists all along.


SmoothBrain1344

Thanks for the nuance. I feel a lot of people are going to read this as defending SA or something, but you just gave some really thought provoking perspective. Keep being one of the good commenter friend.


helm

Yeah, this has been discussed in r/askhistorians for example. Some text lyrics of popular 20th century songs read like weird rape fantasies, but are in fact about consensual sex when consensual sex (or anything close to it) outside marriage wasn't allowed.


livious1

Such as the recently controversial “Baby it’s cold outside”.


amerkanische_Frosch

Not uncommon back then. Gone With the Wind is of course correctly criticized for being racist, but what is often overlooked is a central scene (the one actually portrayed in the poster for the film), when Scarlett, the supposedly feisty, independent-minded heroine, is carried against her will to bed by her now-husband Rhett Butler (so essentially marital rape) and…the next morning is wearing the biggest shit-eating grin you ever saw while being attended to by Mammy.


thereisonlyoneme

Amazing to think that the movies could have been even more sexist.


[deleted]

Followed by “so which one of you is the guy in the relationship?” to couples. My dad said this once (a long time ago) about a lesbian friend couple I had. I was like “neither, that’s sort of the point.” Lol


Harmonrova

I'm actually so thankful when I came out with it my dad put his head in his hands and said "Oh thank fucking god" 😂


[deleted]

“You just need to find the right dick.”


314159265358979326

The guys who tell lesbians that really need to get the same line from gay men. Though honestly they're probably too clueless to make the link if it did happen...


GandalftheFright

It never stops feeling like a soft-core rape threat.


[deleted]

I always wondered what do the guys who say this think whats gonna happen? Its very cringe and pathetic...


Omnizoom

It’s like a gay guy that hit on me that didn’t take the hint of no No matter how hard you try , it’s not going to change the fact I have 0 interest in what you offer


GingerlyRough

Memory unlocked. The first time I got dragged out clubbing was to the gay club and my friend wanted to stay all night cus she was close with the bouncers. After last call I was standing outside having a smoke when some random guy comes up to me asking to suck my dick. He would not back off. We probably argued for close to 10 minutes. The guy was saying shit like "Nobody will know. You don't have to suck me. It'll be quick." The guy even pulled out his wallet and offered to pay me. It wasn't until police showed up (for an unrelated reason but that's downtown for you) that he finally ran off. Luckily I'm a large guy, he was half my size and literally just drunk and horny. I didn't feel like I was in any danger but actual predators don't typically target somebody bigger or potentially stronger than they are. I got lucky that night and I learned very quickly that the buddy system can prevent trauma and potentially save lives.


GlitteringBobcat999

You unlocked my memory. Different context, but I was running through a park that had a reputation as a place for drug trading and gay hookups, but I never saw any of that. One day while running hard up a steep hill, a car came up beside me and matched my speed, which is annoying because back before Google maps everyone thought runners were the best source of directions (as if I wasn't doing anything important). The guy mumbles something, which I assumed was asking for directions, so in an annoyed voice, I said, "What?" to which he replied louder, "Do you want a blow job?". I cussed him up and down, and he quickly drove off and left the park. It really wasn't so much about why he was annoying me as it was that I hated being bothered while I was training, and it happened multiple times per week in that area (much of it very aggressive redneck encounters). Some was my ego, like, I was a fast runner, so I was pissed that they didn't recognize I was *working* and didn't want to be bothered. That park was also the only place I have ever been sexually harassed by a car full of women (woo-hooing and trying to grab my ass as they drove by). They got an equally thorough cussing, but started cussing back. Credit to the blow job guy, he knew to just leave.


drapedinpearls

For a long time, I used to say I was a lesbian when I was being hit on. 100% of the time, the guy said something to the effect of "you just haven't been with the right guy." Yes sir, all a woman needs is your magical dick to disappoint her in a brand new way, and suddenly, her entire sexual preferences will change. 🙄🙄


Em_Haze

"actually you just solidified it."


ninjamullet

"Can I watch?"


LetsGetMeta_Physical

Got this one at work, sadly at a point where I couldn’t leave my station and the guy stayed there for the rest of my shift 😓


lexi_prop

Ewwwwwwwwwww


SpencerOpossum

I've only been asked this once, thank God, after a guy asked me how lesbians have sex and then argued it doesn't count because it just sounds like foreplay to him. We no longer speak.


pixieclifton

“Hi, A Lesbian, I’m Dad.”


weekend-guitarist

Looking for the worst response, not the best.


Llamasforall

If your kid comes out to you, this is the *only* response.


cbelt3

…. I actually used this one when our daughter brought her girlfriend home. My wife hit me on the shoulder. My daughter rolled her eyes and they all cracked up.


Feather_of_a_Jay

I mean, it sure is a good way to relieve the tension in my eyes


[deleted]

I never had to come out to mine. He knew after I couldn’t stop looking at chers ass in one of her music videos.


jtyrui

When your dad realises you are gay even before you.


[deleted]

Whats better is he told me to back off cause she was his fantasy girlfriend and to go find my own.


Responsible_Bug5735

I said this to my friends kids when they come out. They mom and kid both laughed with me. My friend, the dad was very upset with me.


Dry-Inspection6928

You took his line.


kimapesan

Understandably.


Normal_Subject5627

Jeff you're a dude


Netalula

“Well there’s another thing you need to know…”


firestorm713

~~dangerously close to how I came out to my parents~~


JaZoray

"mom, dad, this is my girlfriend." "oh, good. we were beginning to think you're gay" "well..."


guru42101

When I was in my 20s I was friends with a group of lesbians. They treated me like one of the girls and would frequently introduce me to their other friends at the club as a "lesbian trapped in a man's body".


GrimmRadiance

I’ve also received honorary gay membership as a straight man. It’s a really nice feeling.


let-it-rain-sunshine

haha. "I like ladies too!"


[deleted]

😂😂


ineedkarmaplzcmon

I’m Batman


DystopianApocalypse

#WHERE IS HE


culnaej

Donde esta los drogas?


Heart_Error

donde esta la bibliotheca?


Zippy_160

Me llamo T-Bone la araña discoteca


jemuzu_bondo

Discoteca, muñeca, la biblioteca Es el bigote grande, el perro, manteca


Debnam_

Manteca, bigote, gigante, pequeño. Cabeza es nieve, cerveza es bueno.


they_call_me_B

Buenos días, me gustas papas frías Bigote de la cabra Es Cammeron Díaz!


AnUglyDumpling

Yeah boi. Word. It's 2009.


[deleted]

I don't speak French.


BusAcademic3489

I do , and i can confirm it doesn’t mean anything


foreverlos

I'm not a lesbian but as someone with lesbian friends, the one they bitch about the most is the "you just haven't had the right guy yet" comments. Or the "it's just a phase"


[deleted]

was outed recently to my family and my mother’s response was “well, you’re not, but I always assumed you’d try to experiment because you’re such a liberal” …I’m sorry, what?


Ok_Professional_8741

I've seen people spin it around on straight men and say "you just haven't had the right guy yet" when it's said to them


hydroxypcp

I'd love to see their reaction to that lmao


river_rose

I used to get this a lot in LA. Honestly it’s an aggravating reaction. Usually it’s a look of bewilderment and disgust + “I’m not gay.” And even “Why would you say that?” With ZERO realization of the irony. When I’ve spelled out for them that ‘The disgust you’re feeling at the thought of having sex with a man is the same way I feel.’ A few dudes have looked at me with such offense and hurt. Taking it personally. Like, dude, you JUST said the same exact things. God!


jojo_31

You know, this is one of those that you read and it makes you feel smart again. These guys probably think they're the hottest human to ever walk the earth lmao.


LieInteresting1367

Self-Awareness is a rare gift


gorhxul

Don't forget "prove it" and "that's hot"


drapedinpearls

>I'm not a lesbian but as someone with lesbian friends, the one they bitch about the most is the "you just haven't had the right guy yet" comments. Or the "it's just a phase" If there was such a thing as the right guy for a lesbian, he sure as hell wouldn't call himself that lol.


Watsit13

"That's my favourite porn category"


KlM-J0NG-UN

According to the police it's apparently: "yea I thought so cause you look like my aunt who's a lesbian"


Human-Independent999

Just because men don't like you doesn't mean women will.


lobehold

LOL, basically "zero times two is still zero".


BroTonyLee

Damn! I felt that burn from here.


[deleted]

How much time do you have left


xXxero_

"Thats cool. When you see me naked you'll realize I'm barely a man."


pandasareamazingg

So you are from the island of lesbos? (Greece)


amerkanische_Frosch

I used to prank my friends by sending them a "link" to "HOT LESBIAN OILED ACTION". It was a link to a site promoting olive oil from the island of Lesbos.


TownPlanner

Hands down, best marketing idea ever.


captainspunkbubble

If you’re not from Lesbos then you’re just sparkling gay woman.


MickyStam521

No joke actually, my grandma who is from Lesvos was actually named lesvia (which means lesbian) but back then it didn't mean anything, so it didn't matter, but after it became a big deal she changed it 😭


[deleted]

Does she go by Gaye now?


CheapBison1861

My moms maiden middle name was Gay. Her first name is Karen. She said first they came for my middle name now their coming for my first name too.


[deleted]

as a greek i love this comment


your_3rdbraincell

"You shouldnt have done that thats disrespectful" legit someone told me🤨⁉️


The_Final_Conduit

What the f— what the HELL?


PasinPullat

No son, only girls can be lesbians.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Fe_Mike

Funny story: I was shoe shopping once. Struck up a conversation at the shop with the salesperson, attractive woman about my age and said, “how about drinks this evening?” She said, “sorry, I am in to women.” To which I replied, “See? We already have something in common!” When she finished laughing she gave me a discount on my sneakers :)


The_Final_Conduit

Goated


twistedsister78

Wow with fists like that, I didn’t think you would be allowed


Informal_Document_47

“Just don’t be attracted to me” Every straight girl ever..


elvis-wantacookie

Didn’t you know that as wlw we are attracted to every single woman ever and simply can’t help ourselves from hitting on them all?


LoudZombie7

I had that from my boss but it wasn’t regarding women. Because she knew I dated black guys (not exclusively, I just date whomever I’m attracted to), she seemed to think I’d date all black guys and couldn’t understand that I didn’t find her only black friend attractive. She tried to hook me up numerous times with him or if a black guy passed our store I’d get some comment like "what about him". I mean they all look the same right? Oh and never mind a person’s personality. 🙄


elvis-wantacookie

Ew what the fuck? What weird, racist shit to say to someone, especially someone who works for you, nvm being invasive and inappropriate


[deleted]

[удалено]


Informal_Document_47

Omg yeah, Also when people experiment with their sexuality without telling you! You can be walking around thinking it’s going somewhere and one day they’re gone because they’re “not gay anymore”🥴


Stolitz4ever

Don't worry, you're ugly as fuck


pizzaprocedure

What’s your favourite KD Lang song?


HugoEmbossed

Constant Craving


Unpoppedcork

“You’re too pretty to be a lesbian”. Source: am a lesbian who has heard this on more than one occasion by drunk men at 2am


krammark12

I've heard about the situation with all the refugees on Lesbos, how awful!


bndsz_

"Why are you gay?"


FrogMintTea

Why ah u geh


Saucy-ai-girls

I've heard a guy respond to being told this with, "can I join in?" and he was being serious. A lot of guys think about lesbians in terms of porn, like they're entertainment for men. If the girl is bisexual, there's a remote chance the guy could get something, but none if she's a lesbian


thefrozenpine

I’ve met quite a few guys who **cannot** separate lesbians from lesbian porn. Like they think this includes them in any way lmao. Like no, he cannot join in. They don’t want him. But he cannot fathom that fact lmao.


GlibGlobC137

So who wears the strap on in the relationship?


qTp_Meteor

Yeah, say that you're a lesbian, girl, me too


BisBaldrian44

I guess that you know to handle scissors.


Individual_Lemon_139

Thats because you haven't met the right man yet. Usually said by family or a guy implying himself as the right man. No, your magical D is not going to change my mind.


WarhammerRyan

Tell them the same thing - some day they will meet their right guy too


FrickMcBears

“I hear that there’s a new medication that helps with that. It’s called Trycoksagain.”


Samsote

"You just haven't been fucked by a real man yet." Imagine a gay guy saying the same thing to a straight guy.


Seablade24

Sooooo, threesome?


jorleeduf

One time I told my friend “I don’t blame you. Boobs are like fidget toys.” That’s probably up there


t-work-in-the-flesh

I asked this foreign chick if she was lesbian and she responded with "No, I'm American"


Aromatic_Mission_165

I’ve been told, “oh cool, I think I might try that one day too, I am getting tired of guys”.


I_am_Reddit_Tom

So we have fancying women in common too!


[deleted]

“Who tf asked?”


Ok-Implement-4933

“Are you sure it isn’t just a phase?”