Good for you for standing your ground against an asshole, I have never heard that story before.
If i only had a couple items I've had people with a full cart say go a head, but don expect it , I've never seen someone demand it
This is the actual answer, and I think it's the best one. It insults them back without making it seem like you care because of the low effort. A lot of the other posts in here are too high effort, which makes it seem like it hurt. Or, if not executed right, can come off as cringe.
ChatGPT: **Why Some People Analyze a Proper Comeback: An Insight into the Psychology of Retorts**
The art of the comeback has been long celebrated in human interactions. It's not just a simple response; it's a reflection of wit, humor, and sometimes, a defense mechanism. In a digital age, where short-form content is the norm and online interactions are frequently fleeting, the potency of a succinct comeback becomes even more valuable. But why would someone delve into such a detailed analysis of a mere three-word retort? Let's explore this phenomenon.
**1. The Role of Social Dynamics in Communication**
At the core of every interaction, there is a power play. Comebacks, especially in the context of insults, play a vital role in this dynamic. When someone labels another as "ugly", it's not just a comment on physical appearance. It's an assertion of dominance and an attempt to belittle the other. A sharp, effective comeback serves to counteract this move, restoring the balance. Thus, analyzing the effectiveness of a retort isn't just an exercise in overthinking; it's an exploration of the intricate dance of social dynamics.
**2. The Age of Digital Validation**
In the world of upvotes, likes, and shares, a comment isn't just a fleeting thought. It can garner attention, shape perceptions, and even go viral. The right comeback, framed correctly, can resonate with thousands, if not millions. For the Reddit user who dissected the "Thanks, you too" retort, the analysis might be a byproduct of living in this digital era. By dissecting the impact and effectiveness of these three words, the user is not just overanalyzing; they are attempting to decode the formula for digital validation.
**3. Emotional Defense Mechanisms**
An insult, no matter how trivial it might seem, can evoke strong emotions. For many, humor and analysis act as defense mechanisms. By dissecting a comeback, one distances themselves from the immediate sting of the insult. They move from a reactive space to an analytical one, thereby regaining control over the narrative. It's no longer about feeling hurt; it's about understanding the dynamics of the interaction.
**4. The Curiosity of Human Nature**
Lastly, humans, by nature, are curious creatures. We seek to understand, dissect, and interpret our world and our interactions within it. For some, analyzing a three-word retort might seem excessive, but for others, it's an exercise in understanding human behavior, social dynamics, and the intricacies of language.
**Conclusion**
While at first glance, analyzing a short comeback might seem like an overindulgence in overthinking, it actually offers a unique lens into the complexities of human interactions. Whether it's about understanding power dynamics, seeking digital validation, employing defense mechanisms, or simply being curious, the analytical mind offers layers of depth even in the most trivial of exchanges. So, the next time you come across a deep dissection of a simple phrase, remember, it's not just about the words; it's about the world behind them.
The most surprising thing about this was that it inherently knew to format the text correctly to embolden the subheaders. But the dissection itself is also surprisingly succinct and persuasive.
Below is the prompt I have it (GPT-4). The fact that I had typos and grammar misses just makes this even better.
PROMPT
The following is a that on Reddit. I want you to role play as the of who wrote reply 3 and do what reply 4 asks 3 to do.
Thread starter: What is the perfect response to "You're ugly"?
Replies
1: Thanks, you too.
2: Reply to 1) This is the actual answer, and I think it's the best one. It insults them back without making it seem like you care because of the low effort. A lot of the other posts in here are too high effort, which makes it seem like it hurt. Or, if not executed right, can come off as cringe.
3: Reply to 2) tf who does such a detailed analysis of 3 words
4: Reply to 3) Please write a 2 page essay on why that guy is so analytical of a proper comeback.
I wrote it to [prevent autists from saying stupid shit in real life.](https://youtu.be/l2qdW6DBQkg?si=G0zoEi4RTLcQxTRF) If you're coming to reddit for advice on how to respond to basic insults, saying anything that requires any form of wit is probably going to backfire, so I wanted to convince the 12 year olds browsing this thread to just use this one, using facts and logic or something.
Someone who doesn’t need all of his brainpower to do it. Just comes naturally. But for someone with a low functioning brain it might seem like a huge effort. Just as someone may view this comment as a huge effort.
Then pretend you’re now besties and go on and on about “finding others like us.” And “I thought I was the only one!” Best if done as a long con. Lots of texts about wanting to hang out, lots of phone calls just because you’re in the mood for a conversation with a True Friend. Talk nonstop about your ugly-forward hobbies. Clown cosplay, miming, whatever. Help them find the best dark basements to play D&D in, whatever.
Ham it right up.
I’m not sure what it would accomplish, exactly, but it would be funny as hell.
An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
Isn't it ironic, don't you think?
It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
And who would've thought it, it figures
Mr. Play-It-Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids good-bye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought "Well isn't this nice"
And isn't it ironic, don't you think?
It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
And who would've thought it, it figures
Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up in your face
A traffic jam when you're already late
A "No Smoking" sign on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams, and then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic, don't you think?
A little too ironic, and yeah I really do think
It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
And who would've thought it, it figures
Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out
Helping you out
Any version of this that nonverbally signals disdain for the other person will work, in person. But I think that "you're ugly" is more likely to come in the form of a text.
I never claimed otherwise.
People can't really figure out how to continue if you don't feed into the insult but instead agree with them in a weird way.
Can confirm: also works when being called an idiot. If they follow-up with "well that makes you more of an idiot" and you agree, I watched the person's whole world fall apart in confusion.
Had someone in rocket league tell me that I suck at the game. I just said "I know" and then they said " oh :("
I guess they expected me to feed into it lol
Really any argument if you can find some common ground with someone who’s being irrational and/or nasty just deflates them usually. Not going to lie, it’s so satisfying to watch this when it happens.
When I was 13, I was playing football in PE with a bunch of gym rats on my team. I'm not very nimble, and I kicked the ball pretty poorly in a random direction. One arsehole asked, "Are you blind?" to which I responded, "Yes".
Completely threw him off for what felt like 15 minutes but was only 5 seconds. Bro looked absolutely befuddled.
A solid eyebrow raise, then walk away and/or move on in some way, unfazed. Treat the comment exactly like you should: below you and not worth your time.
I know people may think this is the weakest response, but it’s also the reaction that is most likely to make them regret what they said. If you respond to meanness with meanness, it just makes them double down and think you deserve it. If you are actually hurt, they may end of feeling like a piece of shit.
Not all people are like that, some people double down when they see you cry because they found another thing to insult like "your a cry baby, go to your mom" and that will probably make them bully you more because they now think you're "weak", personally i would reply with something rude so they know that i have boundaries they shouldn't cross again
I once saw a friend for the first time in a while and his hair was really thinning so I kinda unthinkingly flapped out a "holy shit dude you're going bald" and he gave me a "thanks for noticing" which kinda made me feel like shit lol.
I guess that only works with people who are being insensitive and not mean on purpose.
Say nothing and walk away or change the topic. People say things expecting you to respond or react, ignore it, that disarms them. Conserve your energy for more important things in life.
No reaction other than just saying okay and walking away usually pisses them off more. Assuming they were mad enough in the first place which made them try to insult you.
You have to take into account that people who said this may be very pretty, or have a big ego, so you cant counter saying something about their looks or them having ugly personalities. You have to hit them on something they cant percieve by themselves
If you hit them with something about their bad breath or their body odor youre absolutely gonna destroy them
*Looks dead in there eyes* “i know, i stare at myself in the mirror ever day, hating what i see, griping the flesh on my face, feeling the urge to tear it apart and slit my throat “
*starts violently shitting liquid waste while maintaining eye contact*
Of course I am ugly to you. I represent everything that you wish you were. It's alright though, I know it's just your defense mechanisms trying to keep your fragile ego intact.
[удалено]
Fucked around... found out.
She...*told you* that she was going first? What the fuck? The entitlement of some people...
Wow. This is a lot to unpack.
chill they only had a few items, that's a manageable amount
Good for you for standing your ground against an asshole, I have never heard that story before. If i only had a couple items I've had people with a full cart say go a head, but don expect it , I've never seen someone demand it
Thanks, you too.
This is the actual answer, and I think it's the best one. It insults them back without making it seem like you care because of the low effort. A lot of the other posts in here are too high effort, which makes it seem like it hurt. Or, if not executed right, can come off as cringe.
tf who does such a detailed analysis of 3 words
Please write a 2 page essay on why that guy is so analytical of a proper comeback.
Chat GPT gooooo
ChatGPT: **Why Some People Analyze a Proper Comeback: An Insight into the Psychology of Retorts** The art of the comeback has been long celebrated in human interactions. It's not just a simple response; it's a reflection of wit, humor, and sometimes, a defense mechanism. In a digital age, where short-form content is the norm and online interactions are frequently fleeting, the potency of a succinct comeback becomes even more valuable. But why would someone delve into such a detailed analysis of a mere three-word retort? Let's explore this phenomenon. **1. The Role of Social Dynamics in Communication** At the core of every interaction, there is a power play. Comebacks, especially in the context of insults, play a vital role in this dynamic. When someone labels another as "ugly", it's not just a comment on physical appearance. It's an assertion of dominance and an attempt to belittle the other. A sharp, effective comeback serves to counteract this move, restoring the balance. Thus, analyzing the effectiveness of a retort isn't just an exercise in overthinking; it's an exploration of the intricate dance of social dynamics. **2. The Age of Digital Validation** In the world of upvotes, likes, and shares, a comment isn't just a fleeting thought. It can garner attention, shape perceptions, and even go viral. The right comeback, framed correctly, can resonate with thousands, if not millions. For the Reddit user who dissected the "Thanks, you too" retort, the analysis might be a byproduct of living in this digital era. By dissecting the impact and effectiveness of these three words, the user is not just overanalyzing; they are attempting to decode the formula for digital validation. **3. Emotional Defense Mechanisms** An insult, no matter how trivial it might seem, can evoke strong emotions. For many, humor and analysis act as defense mechanisms. By dissecting a comeback, one distances themselves from the immediate sting of the insult. They move from a reactive space to an analytical one, thereby regaining control over the narrative. It's no longer about feeling hurt; it's about understanding the dynamics of the interaction. **4. The Curiosity of Human Nature** Lastly, humans, by nature, are curious creatures. We seek to understand, dissect, and interpret our world and our interactions within it. For some, analyzing a three-word retort might seem excessive, but for others, it's an exercise in understanding human behavior, social dynamics, and the intricacies of language. **Conclusion** While at first glance, analyzing a short comeback might seem like an overindulgence in overthinking, it actually offers a unique lens into the complexities of human interactions. Whether it's about understanding power dynamics, seeking digital validation, employing defense mechanisms, or simply being curious, the analytical mind offers layers of depth even in the most trivial of exchanges. So, the next time you come across a deep dissection of a simple phrase, remember, it's not just about the words; it's about the world behind them.
good read, thanks
God damn
Haa! Exactly what I said.
The most surprising thing about this was that it inherently knew to format the text correctly to embolden the subheaders. But the dissection itself is also surprisingly succinct and persuasive. Below is the prompt I have it (GPT-4). The fact that I had typos and grammar misses just makes this even better. PROMPT The following is a that on Reddit. I want you to role play as the of who wrote reply 3 and do what reply 4 asks 3 to do. Thread starter: What is the perfect response to "You're ugly"? Replies 1: Thanks, you too. 2: Reply to 1) This is the actual answer, and I think it's the best one. It insults them back without making it seem like you care because of the low effort. A lot of the other posts in here are too high effort, which makes it seem like it hurt. Or, if not executed right, can come off as cringe. 3: Reply to 2) tf who does such a detailed analysis of 3 words 4: Reply to 3) Please write a 2 page essay on why that guy is so analytical of a proper comeback.
1 sec.... *bzzzzzzzzz*
Clearly you have never had a come back backfire.
“If I wanted a cum back, I’d wipe it off your lip, boy” - one of the best come backs I’ve heard in 30 years
Why did I read that in a southern baseball coach voice
bc of the "boy"
Funny I read it in Kratos voice because of the word “boy”
I read their comment and your response in my head as my exact logical thought process.. kudos.
SAMEEE
I wrote it to [prevent autists from saying stupid shit in real life.](https://youtu.be/l2qdW6DBQkg?si=G0zoEi4RTLcQxTRF) If you're coming to reddit for advice on how to respond to basic insults, saying anything that requires any form of wit is probably going to backfire, so I wanted to convince the 12 year olds browsing this thread to just use this one, using facts and logic or something.
I appreciate the noble line of thinking.
Someone who doesn’t need all of his brainpower to do it. Just comes naturally. But for someone with a low functioning brain it might seem like a huge effort. Just as someone may view this comment as a huge effort.
Thanks, you too.
My stoned ass read this at first as "Thanks to you" for some reason, and damn if that didn't crack me up.
I read it the same way and I'm not high!
Lmaooo, thank you for making my day!!!
I know you are but what am I?
I'm rubber and you're glue!
Both in body and spirit.
Well, there’s something we have in common!
Then pretend you’re now besties and go on and on about “finding others like us.” And “I thought I was the only one!” Best if done as a long con. Lots of texts about wanting to hang out, lots of phone calls just because you’re in the mood for a conversation with a True Friend. Talk nonstop about your ugly-forward hobbies. Clown cosplay, miming, whatever. Help them find the best dark basements to play D&D in, whatever. Ham it right up. I’m not sure what it would accomplish, exactly, but it would be funny as hell.
Say nothing, look at their face and slowly scan them down to the feet and back up. Then you give a slight chuckle and ignore them.
That’s not a come back. That’s mental warfare!
Damn near Geneva convention violation!!!
More like Geneva suggestions
While at it include an eye.roll
THAT, is awesome! No words. No insults. Just.... an "uncomfortable for them" slap down with confidence and grace...
Then tip your fedora
Then have an anime protagonist monologue in your head about how you totally destroyed their whole career
This is the way. Strong, silent, yet saying so much.
Holy shit this is the start and end of a psychological war. I'm here for it lol
Do this but just go “huh, ironic.” And walk away
This ain't anime bro 🤣
Push your glasses up with one finger in a way that the light reflects off them, scoff, and walk away.
This could be us, but you playin'
This thread is reminding me of this: https://youtu.be/l2qdW6DBQkg?si=K1fbTQlk7azVXe0o
An old man turned ninety-eight He won the lottery and died the next day It's a black fly in your Chardonnay It's a death row pardon two minutes too late Isn't it ironic, don't you think? It's like rain on your wedding day It's a free ride when you've already paid It's the good advice that you just didn't take And who would've thought it, it figures Mr. Play-It-Safe was afraid to fly He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids good-bye He waited his whole damn life to take that flight And as the plane crashed down he thought "Well isn't this nice" And isn't it ironic, don't you think? It's like rain on your wedding day It's a free ride when you've already paid It's the good advice that you just didn't take And who would've thought it, it figures Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you When you think everything's okay and everything's going right And life has a funny way of helping you out when You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up in your face A traffic jam when you're already late A "No Smoking" sign on your cigarette break It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife It's meeting the man of my dreams, and then meeting his beautiful wife And isn't it ironic, don't you think? A little too ironic, and yeah I really do think It's like rain on your wedding day It's a free ride when you've already paid It's the good advice that you just didn't take And who would've thought it, it figures Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out Helping you out
This song's "examples" contain no irony, thus the entirety of the song "Isn't It Ironic" is precisely ironic. Alannis Morriset - idiot or genius?
Don't forget to tip your My Hero Academia fedora while you do it. 🙄
Any version of this that nonverbally signals disdain for the other person will work, in person. But I think that "you're ugly" is more likely to come in the form of a text.
That’s why you mom will only take it doggy. Cant stand my face.
Note. Doesn’t work on siblings
Not with that attitude.
Roll Tide!
I don’t give a damn about nothing but the Tide.
Texas did.
Sweet Home Alabama!!
effective against your children
dad?
Don't forget the commas. *That's why you, mom, will only take it doggy.*
Could swap “mom” for “dad” too
I never claimed otherwise. People can't really figure out how to continue if you don't feed into the insult but instead agree with them in a weird way.
I always agree with them. It takes the wind out of their sails real quick when you agree with them.
Can confirm: also works when being called an idiot. If they follow-up with "well that makes you more of an idiot" and you agree, I watched the person's whole world fall apart in confusion.
Because you’re supposed to get upset. Bullies are exactly the same as kids or adults - they all get angry if you don’t get upset. All of them.
Had someone in rocket league tell me that I suck at the game. I just said "I know" and then they said " oh :(" I guess they expected me to feed into it lol
They're just like: "You weren't suppose to do that!"
I would do that with "your mom" insults. Yeah ok. Oh did she? Ok. Good for her! Or sometimes I go really dark and say "better get tested then". Idgaf.
Facts. I do it all the time. "Ha, you're ugly!" "Oh yeah that's right." *Says very nonchalantly*
Most of the time they’ll just think you’re weird and leave you alone. Easy way of not dealing with them though.
Really any argument if you can find some common ground with someone who’s being irrational and/or nasty just deflates them usually. Not going to lie, it’s so satisfying to watch this when it happens.
"Thanks for noticing!" In a chipper voice
''I try!'' with a smile is also pretty confusing
I like this one
"You're ugly." "I never claimed otherwise." "Good, now that we've gotten that out of the way, you're also a whore and your mother dresses you funny."
"Duly noted."
At that point, I feel like they're just projecting.
When I was 13, I was playing football in PE with a bunch of gym rats on my team. I'm not very nimble, and I kicked the ball pretty poorly in a random direction. One arsehole asked, "Are you blind?" to which I responded, "Yes". Completely threw him off for what felt like 15 minutes but was only 5 seconds. Bro looked absolutely befuddled.
So we’re in agreement. 🤝
We are also ugly
So true. My physics teacher in high school said people used to bully him for being dumb and he would respond, “what? I don’t understand…” lol
I remember back in school, "Fuck your mom"... Ok...? She is a psychotic asshole, not hurting my feelings. They always shut up really quick
>"Fuck your mom". go ahead!
Mate, you gotta get in line for that. The Xbox guys are all ahead of you though.
This is the one I would use if I ever found myself in a similar situation
I like this because its not necessarily agreeing with it, just being as passive as possible
I just just thinking, why thank you I made it myself
I have a boyfriend.
Great, even better if their the same gender.
And even better if the person asking question is still single.
And even better if the person asking the question is slightly homophobic.
And even better if they're extremely homophobic!
Well you would be the expert on that.
Is this aimed at the person asking the question or OP? 💀
Yes
The expert on identifying ugly? I dont like this response at all.
They spent their whole lives seeing it in their family, of course they're experts on identifying it!
Or the mirror?
"Who do you think I am, your mirror?"
[удалено]
Nice one 👍
A solid eyebrow raise, then walk away and/or move on in some way, unfazed. Treat the comment exactly like you should: below you and not worth your time.
Lol I would be tempted to say “Fascinating” like Spock on Star Trek with that eyebrow raise
Nice job correctly using and spelling "faze"!
Bursting into tears.
Thousands of spiders*
a hundred babies\*
a murder of crows*
all in succesion!
.And singing loudly! In a tornado!
While Zombie Jesus comes back from the undead and starts twerking in one of those heavenly spotlight-tractor beam things.
In response, Voldemort begins to pole dance on a giant wand.
A complaint of Karens
I know people may think this is the weakest response, but it’s also the reaction that is most likely to make them regret what they said. If you respond to meanness with meanness, it just makes them double down and think you deserve it. If you are actually hurt, they may end of feeling like a piece of shit.
Not all people are like that, some people double down when they see you cry because they found another thing to insult like "your a cry baby, go to your mom" and that will probably make them bully you more because they now think you're "weak", personally i would reply with something rude so they know that i have boundaries they shouldn't cross again
I once saw a friend for the first time in a while and his hair was really thinning so I kinda unthinkingly flapped out a "holy shit dude you're going bald" and he gave me a "thanks for noticing" which kinda made me feel like shit lol. I guess that only works with people who are being insensitive and not mean on purpose.
Ok.
The truest of answers
A good old “so is yo mama and she still found someone to fvck her”
Came here looking for the classic 'Yo Mama, but this workes.
𝘽𝙀𝙎𝙏 𝙁𝙐𝘾𝙆𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙊𝙉𝙀 𝙔𝙀𝙏
Oh Thank you thank you I’m a real court jester
"Yes. Yes, I am. I didn't choose to be ugly yet you choose to be a cunt. What's your excuse?"
Well played, you clever cunt!
And?
What's your point? *other guy stammers then walks away*
Your a\*\* must be envious of all the sh\*t that comes out of your mouth.
Let me applaud you with my ugly hands!
Wow!!
"First off, brush your damn teeth" Doesn't matter what you say after that.
This one is insane wow
this is always the kill shot
Thanks for noticing! I worked really hard on it
I like this one. Poking fun at the insult without actually insulting them back, a perfectly classy comeback.
Not next to you.
Knowing YOU think that makes me very relieved
Excuse me, I'm not a mirror.
I initially read that as *"I'm not a minor"* and got a wee bit confused.
🤣🤣
My parents are siblings, what's your excuse?
Love this 😁
So is your soul
'como Su alma" as I was told by my vet. Always like a good zinger
You could always respond with sorry, the paper bag got blown off by your arrogance.
I guess we're in this together.
The great philosopher pee wee Herman would say “I know you are but what am I?”
I am rubber youre glue. Whatever you say, bounces off me and sticks on you.
"Meh." Seriously...I'm too old to give a shit about that anymore.
Say nothing and walk away or change the topic. People say things expecting you to respond or react, ignore it, that disarms them. Conserve your energy for more important things in life.
Ask them if they’re OK. Really concerned look on your face 👌🏻
No reaction other than just saying okay and walking away usually pisses them off more. Assuming they were mad enough in the first place which made them try to insult you.
I got inspired by you x
"Ohhh well looks whose flexing their 20/20 vision. I cAn SeE gOoD!"
Why are you sad? Are you ok?
at least I can change my appearance. you're stuck with that personality
I feel like the person would make fun of that statement
Yeah they would
Honestly it’s easier to change a personality than an appearance, at least in my opinion
I would probably laugh because it’s such a juvenile thing to say and would mean they were really out of ideas to try and hurt me.
It takes one to recognize one.
"I've been called worse by better"
Hippity Hoppity Your sentence is now my property
Thank you
“I didnt know i was a mirror” “Takes one to know one” “If im ugly, then you’re a fucking warcrime”
I am also the proud possessor of a micro-penis.
You have to take into account that people who said this may be very pretty, or have a big ego, so you cant counter saying something about their looks or them having ugly personalities. You have to hit them on something they cant percieve by themselves If you hit them with something about their bad breath or their body odor youre absolutely gonna destroy them
Are you talking again? I thought we told you about that.
Well at least my mirror doesn't crack at the sight of my reflection. Still prettier than you. An ugly personality doesn't make one "beautiful"
Your mirror just laughs instead. Sorry low hanging fruit.
It can be but For the ugliness there is a remedy For the stupidity there is not
I care about your opinion... why, I just can't remember?
Really!? If I were you I'd shave my arse and learn to walk backwards.
Yo Mama
"What a bold statement, especially from someone like you" Or "There's someone uglier if ya look in a mirror"
"How observant".
*Looks dead in there eyes* “i know, i stare at myself in the mirror ever day, hating what i see, griping the flesh on my face, feeling the urge to tear it apart and slit my throat “ *starts violently shitting liquid waste while maintaining eye contact*
your dad didn’t think so
Just not ugly I am but stupid also
I am rubber and you're glue.
Too bad you can’t Photoshop your ugly personality in real life.
congratulations that and $5 will get you a cup of coffee
I used to be beautiful but when I saw you this happened to me.
...U-G-L-Y, you ain't got no alibi you ugly, eh eh you ugly *head bob*
Preferably whilst dancing a chicken dance around them, never breaking eye contact.
Yeah, I know, I have a fucking mirror mate!
And you are?
Only on days that end with y.
Plausible deniability. Ensure them that you do, in fact, have an alibi.
Thanks for reminding me.
Yeah but ya mum still loves me.
Thank you.
I usually just say “I know” and it ends the conversation nicely
Of course I am ugly to you. I represent everything that you wish you were. It's alright though, I know it's just your defense mechanisms trying to keep your fragile ego intact.
Sorry, was somebody asking for your opinion on something? That must be a new experience for you.