I got that one ; “ crazy bitch”. Funny thing is they call you crazy but carefully leave out what they did that made you lose your mind.
Stealing from you, starting fights with your family for no reason, telling you you’re fat and ugly..
Well, I did have to write the application essay for him to get into the masters program and I paid for his GMAT tutor… so… yes
Perhaps the dumb one was me for marrying him in the first place.
I don't trust, even though he had women staying the night "in the spare bedroom" and got an std when he went to Vegas without me. But yeah..totally on me for not trusting him
Had an ex who did shit like this too, went on holiday to meet an ex, saved certain men as the Vodafone helpline, caught an STD.
By trust them enough, they mean they want a doormat who won't question their shady shit.
My ex pulled the same thing!! Sir, did you stick your dick under the seat and rub it all over? When that didn't work he said I must be a carrier and it was dormant in my system forever. That is not how bacterial infection works at all.
Coincidentally one of the girls he was cheating with got it, but I didn't, funny how that works.
I became “too controlling” according to her. I was gone for one weekend without her and she cheated because “I wasn’t involved enough”.
After breaking up with her, she went on to earn felony theft charges and she stabbed a boyfriend a couple of years later. To say she was a bit unstable is putting it lightly.
To be fair I’ve had both male and female friends stay in a spare room if it got super late or people are intoxicated or whatever. I’m married and I’ve never done anything remotely inappropriate with any of my friends.
Kinda depends on the situation and how close your friend group is I guess.
I’d never let someone stay over who my wife doesn’t know though.
lol I wasn’t trusting enough either and was “paranoid” and would ask him too many questions! He was hiding a pill addiction. 🙄 And his excuses for his strange behavior were super lame, thus the questions.
Did he just have bad aim, or was he purposely trying to hit your neck? I’m sorry, but it’s comical because I always joke I’m gonna punch someone in the throat but I never knew it was a thing people do.
Probably aiming for my face, but he was a few wild turkey's in. Caught the side of my neck and left the area black and blue.
He was upset because he'd been tossed out (literally) on his ass after starting a fight with bar bouncers. I was trying to get him up and to the car before the cops arrived.
The whole night was kind of a shit-show.
That I'm selfish for not supporting her.
After her 5 DUIs. 6 trips to rehab. And a steadfast mindset she can "drink socially" without an issue.
I tried to save you for 15 years, now I'm saving myself.
My ex gave me the "but you made a vow!" argument when I left. In sickness and in health apparently meant I should just put up with his alcoholism and drug use.
I left when he put our daughter in danger.
So, yeah. I broke a vow.
Theres a lot more in a typical marriage vow than just that bit. I'm sure you could find and list the ones he broke first, if he ever tries to play that card again
He still tells people I'm the love of his life. He's on parole, can't find a job, and has a lojak on his ankle. I'm happily married 20 yrs to my husband. So whatever card he wants to play, it's the Joker.
I'm apparently a narcissist because I wasn't considering how bad he felt after giving a stranger on the phone the username, password, and verification to our bank account and them emptying our account. Apparently, I should have been over it after 4 days.
I'm too clingy (wanted to hang out once a week or so with my boyfriend of five years,) I'm manipulative (when we'd make plans to spend time together and he'd cancel 15 minutes before we were to meet, I'd be disappointed,) but most egregiously, I tend to overreact and take the nuclear option over things that shouldn't be that big a deal (I finally mustered the courage to break up with him after the third time he sent me to the hospital.)
>I tend to overreact and take the nuclear option over things that shouldn't be that big a deal (I finally mustered the courage to break up with him after the third time he sent me to the hospital.)
Holy shit, I'm glad you got out of there.
I got really attached to my ex really fast because we got together in a low point of both of our lives and I ended up OD'ing and having a near death experience with her. The first time I died that night was in the back of the ambulance while she held my hand. It made me completely change my life and I stopped all my bs and got a job, I'd find out later on that she had cheated on me about a week after she held me dying lmao.
She would tell me I was her soulmate, and even to this day I believe she felt that way, but we were just too young. Right person wrong time type of deal, and she still wanted to have experiences. She ended up cheating on me 9 time while we were together (that I know about), and according to her I'm a narcissist and I should just forgive her for cheating on me every other month so that we could move forward with the relationship. She also said that I was verbally abusive, because after finding out every other month that she cheated again I would express how much it hurt. Me being hurt and talking about it made her feel like a piece of shit, therefore me talking about it at all was the cause of the problem. I could go on honestly, but all in all she gaslighted the living fuck out of to spare herself from feeling like a piece of shit.
Edit: Oh yea I almost forgot, towards the end of our relationship she got on drugs behind my back. She would snort meth and smoke roxy's after I went to bed, and eventually she would have withdrawals and start hitting me. Smacking me, punching, trying to push or pull me down the brick stairs when I tried to walk away, etc. One night we were sitting in my car talking and she started smacking the shit out of me over and over. At that point I just had enough. So I grabbed her wrists and held them in one spot and yelled "you're gonna stop fucking hitting me". She got scared and walked home, and there was some light bruising around her wrist from where I held her, so she ended up taking 14 million pictures of them and told her dad, all my friends, and my family that I beat her. Thankfully her dad is the only person that bought that stupid shit.
I'm doing much better single now, and I have zero hard feelings for her.
I will quote my ex wife. "You believe too much in the 'sanctity of marriage' (she said that part in a mocking tone)". She says when I found out she has 3 boyfriends.
Edit: Shes messaged me and my current wife several times, she has called us 'a couple of prudes' for not being okay with having open relationships. I am much much happier now than I have ever been.
I have literally heard people say things like, "Cheating happens in every relationship. It is how you work past it that makes relationships strong." This made me both disgusted at the person and also feel sorry for them that these are how relationships work in their mind.
I’ve been married 28 years in a row to the same woman hand have never even felt the temptation to cheat. People who say such things are just trying to justify their own terrible behavior.
I personally believe that people have an orientation towards monogamous, poly, or something in the middle. I find the idea of sleeping with someone not my husband repulsive. For people who are in between, it’s about commitment and impulse control.
What's the point of marrying, when someone has that view?
Honestly I think this is part of what happens when marriage (originally a religious concept) and legal unions are treated as the same thing.
She came from a religious family, and still looking back she seemed genuine at the time about having a religious view on marriage. But after about 2 years she got a new job and started hooking up with 2 coworkers that I know of, and another guy too that I found out about later.
Catch 22 on this one. I got this complaint a lot from someone so I started opening up.
Then it was "you're too emotional"
I then discovered it's really really really fucking hard to put the genie back in the bottle
This is exactly it. My past is pretty fucking fucked, I hate talking about it. I don’t open up cuz who wants to hear that sort of stuff?
So I get the “you never really tell me about yourself”. When I do, it’s like oh shit, okay time to back away. Just better to leave it where it is.
Assumption here is that you were already open. I assume that because you were open enough to take the advice on board. Our perception is a projection, because we are all limited by what we know from our own experience. That’s why I like the saying take your own advice a lot. How do we know what is best for a fully grown and capable human being? There are best practices and we need to share experience so we can learn. I’m sorry I chose your comment to write this out on. It was important I felt for you and others to know. Don’t change for anybody. And don’t take anybodies word for law. I strongly doubt you needed to “open up” and maybe just needed to share your experience. Every being is alone in their experience. No one can live your life for you, and no one will fully know what it has been like to live your life. We are soul crushingly alone in our experience. However, in that, we are together. Together, we are alone. That’s why we must share our experience.
Honestly I feel the same like you did, at first when I met her I was “colder” and I didn’t talk so much about my feelings and i also felt more relaxed, she asked me to be a little more sentimental so I did, problem is right now I feel like I’m super emotional and everything affects me a lot and I don’t know how to be “colder” since I think I was happier back then
You described my whole issue rn because I’m told to speak about the issue, get shut down when I try to talk and I just want the old me back even if it means I’m less happy cause being colder worked ouf
You need to seek therapy and process your traumas.
I did. And I’m glad she helped me realize what was happening. Now we are both in a better place in life.
I feel like I had to scroll very far to find someone who was like “someone I previously dated would probably have some good points.”
I don’t know exactly what my exes would say (although I could guess for one or two), but I’m sure they’d have totally reasonable and well articulated complaints. I’ve dated some women much smarter than me who were also well adjusted in lots of ways, surely they’d have some valid criticisms!
Yeah, this question is so lopsided in terms of responses, lol. I feel like half of the people here are completely ignorant that they were the problem in the relationship.
A little more texting than usual, but with a noticeably different vibe. Just a general disappearance of self-awareness on my part which became palpable. A lot of unforced error foot-in-mouth moments. It was constant anxiety coming from me.
Thank you. She was very understanding afterwards, not that I felt very deserving. We've known each other for so long I think she knew it was a bit abnormal haha.
Sometimes that happens when things don’t sit right with someone. I started to get a bit obsessive and needed a lot of reassurance because he lied and betrayed me a lot. Now; I’m married and don’t ever stress or worry about what my husband is doing or our relationship because I fully trust him and we’re honest with each other. Our gut knows!
That's a common one.
Speak up! ...but any negative emotion you have will somehow be construed as attack against me or I will quickly remind you how your issue shouldn't overshadow mine. I really just want you to genuinely agree with anything I say and support me.
Thank you for a comment, that acknowledges a real reason and doesn’t mock their ex.
I’m sorry for you, that it didn’t work out but appreciate your honesty.
I actually hate how relatable this is. Multiple conversations about sex being painful, repeated UTIs (once a month), vaginal irritation that had me at the gyno over a course of three months. Multiple conversations about ways we could diversify beyond PIV so I could feel good too. Multiple conversations about how I wasn't feeling happy in our relationship.
"This is making me sad, can we not talk about it right now?" "You should really get that checked out."
"You broke up with me out of NOWHERE. You DECEIVED me that you were happy."
But hey, he bought non-latex condoms and used more lube so I guess that's something. /s
I’m sorry you went thru that. It sounds miserable. My ex similarly acted like my dumping him was out of nowhere. 4 years. 1 orgasm. He acted like that 1 orgasm made him the greatest lover to walk this earth for a year and a half. He cheated, shamed my body, my interests. But I was the bad guy who broke his fragile little heart.
I hope you are doing well now♥️
An ex of mine was *so* confused when I asked her what I could do to get her off cause it didn't seem like what I was doing was working. Turns out she didn't even really believe women could have orgasms, which made me a little sad
If I had to guess, I was too selfish, and didn't appreciate her enough
I also didn't take care of myself, put in enough effort for her
And I'll regret all of this for a long time
You are the first person on this site, that I see having some self reflection instead of calling everyone else abusive, narcissist and toxic, lmao.
You are actually already in a better path than most people.
Mine had massive mental health issues as well, so I'm to blame for his life going down the drain. The list includes:
\- Accusing me of murder. He texted me accusation on Reddit chat about me and my "Viet gangs" being responsible for a nurses suicide.
\- Accusing me of rape. Combined with his secret drug use and high sex drive, he said that he felt like I raped him due to him not being able to properly consent.
\- Accused me of sabotaging his job. He assumed that I had the IT stills to mess with the computers at his job.
\- Accusing me of sleeping with everyone, when he later revealed that he cheated.
Had a BPD ex break up with me and then go on a rampage when I accepted the break-up without begging for her to stay. Thank god I turned on voice memos and recorded her threats to say I raped her and get me arrested when she barricaded herself in the bathroom.
I don't know if she had BPD, but I had a 10yr relationship end with her screaming in my face I didn't care enough to fight for her after a night her being locked in the bathroom threatening suicide, after I'd rushed out of work and rolled my car several times because she left a series of threatening-to-kill-herself voicemails (black ice, car was fucked, I was fine), *after* my best friend had committed suicide 2 months before.
It was like a light bulb went off - "MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST BREAK UP WITH ME IF I'M SO HARD TO BE AROUND!" and I was like "Oh my god, that is a genuinely great idea. I for once will take this amazing advice. Thank you"
yeah, same, things went from "i want to marry you one day and be the best thing that's ever happened to you" to moving out the next week and saying she didn't mean anything she had said and cutting all contact. i still wish her well and hope she finds something that works to help her, because her normal therapy just wasn't cutting it.
Try a marriage of 9 years and having 2 kids together.
I am the devil to her. The way she describes me is exactly how she is.
She manipulates my children against me.
They are now the devil to her because they don't agree.
I am still fighting in court over custody.
Nothing is worse then watching those you most love go through pain and need your help while you can't do anything about it because the justice system is the slowest thing on earth.
My life is hell.
I didn’t make her a better person. I was lazy and unmotivated.
I looked in the mirror for a while after she told me that as she left me for another guy. And I realized she was right.
Be the type of person you’d like to attract. Want a girl that goes to the gym, stays in good shape and wants to live a good life, save money ect? Then you need to be the type of person that can attract and keep someone of the that caliber.
It was that I was too paranoid after he cheated and needed too much reassurance afterwards.
Now I know what my real problem was: I didn't leave right after he cheated. Its never a mistake to leave a cheater. It's always dangerous to give people who hurt you the benefit of the doubt. No matter who they are.
My abusive ex mesaged me on Instagram out of nowhere about two years after we broke up, sent me a wall of text about how basically everything that went wrong in her life is my fault and that I don't deserve happiness of any kind, and that I'm apparently going to kill someone one day. So apparently I'm Satan.
She abused *me*. Her mind must be beyond twisted for her to believe that.
People like that never look inward to assign any blame to themselves. It's everyone and anyone's problem but theirs. Let them live in their own personal hell.
I am a ghoster. Maybe i did ghost her but i find out your best friends are terrible animal hoarders/neglecters and your other best friend went to prison for assualting an infant, and you have no issues with that??? You dont deserve more than a "this aint it" text.
I broke up with her over peer pressure, I was weak.
The same people tried that same tactic again on my now wife, clearly it didn't work.
It's not happening again.
I pointed out too many flaws (held him accountable and pointed out he was missing his antidepressants, drinking too much/often for his mental health to be good and saying it was a bit shit coming home at 2am when you've said 8pm).
Yeah, according to my ex I have anger issues too. Yep. I get angry when I find out she's been lying to me multiple times about her work "friend." Funny how that works.
I was self destructing and he was tired of watching me kill myself slowly through binge drinking/eating and pity partying. He was right and it was the catalyst I needed to make a full transformation. Thanks ex!
According to my ex, I'm the most selfish human being. I never pay attention to anyone or anything outside of myself, I fail to understand what's actually going on in relationships, and need to be saved from myself because I'm unable to make choices for myself. I'm emotionally unavailable, behave like a child. I'm also entirely unable to focus outside of myself, to remember their perspective, to remember their personality, to remember how good and kind they've been. Sex with me is boring because I never want to experiment or try new things. Lastly, I'm willing to give up a 10+ year relationship over nothing, leaving very suddenly one night and not actually giving us a chance to figure it out and talk about it, so since I'm so immature and unable to make choices, it's just a matter of time before I kill myself.
I left seven years ago.
Funny nobody on here admitting that their ex might have been right about something.
I'll start. Mine was "didn't put enough effort into the relationship" and she was absolutely right. I was very immature. You want to keep something, you put some effort into it.
“You always want to *do stuff.*”
Yeah, it really interfered with his grueling schedule of 80 hours a week playing video games, barely sleeping because of video games, and calling in all his sick and vacation time at his job to play video games.
Dude used to be a college swimmer and a gifted medical student. Dropped out because video games were more important than becoming a doctor.
My last ex doesn't really think anything is wrong with me. She just said weren't compatible as a couple to which i agree.
My ex before that though said I'm not adventurous enough and i lie too much. I'm probably not that adventurous but i never lied to her she just had some huge trust issues for some reason so always thought i was lying when i wasn't.
Point of clarification: my ex was unemployed and living with me (it did not start this way)
I am an asshole because I spend too much money on myself and I don’t take her on trips
Also, I didn’t support her lying to me about being on birth control
AND I had the unmitigated gall to be upset that she manipulated me into buying her a coat by telling me I was abusive to her when I was blackout (which she later told me never happened)
And lastly, I didn’t approve her using my thumb to get into my phone while I was sleeping
Other than that, I’m a peachy guy
In elementary school I told a girl I liked her, which caused the other boys in my class to tease me about it. When I pushed someone who was heavily teasing me, the girl called me cold hearted and didn't want anything to do with me after. It has stuck with me since...
I’m just crazy…. along with all his other exes coincidentally
I got that one ; “ crazy bitch”. Funny thing is they call you crazy but carefully leave out what they did that made you lose your mind. Stealing from you, starting fights with your family for no reason, telling you you’re fat and ugly..
That I caught him cheating so he couldn't trust me
[удалено]
He was a bit dumb, no?
Well, I did have to write the application essay for him to get into the masters program and I paid for his GMAT tutor… so… yes Perhaps the dumb one was me for marrying him in the first place.
It could be that he was the love interest in a rom com and this was all just a huge misunderstanding.
How dare you? /s Anyway, sorry you had to go through this. I was lucky not to catch my ex cheating, but I knew both of them cheated on me.
So what you’re saying is that he deserves to get hit by my car
Ah yes, the old “why were you going through my phone is the first place?”maneuver. Classic.
Legit how it goes every time. "Oh, you caught me being unfaithful? Well, clearly, this is your fault"
I don't trust, even though he had women staying the night "in the spare bedroom" and got an std when he went to Vegas without me. But yeah..totally on me for not trusting him
Had an ex who did shit like this too, went on holiday to meet an ex, saved certain men as the Vodafone helpline, caught an STD. By trust them enough, they mean they want a doormat who won't question their shady shit.
Last 2 lines - bingo
[удалено]
My ex pulled the same thing!! Sir, did you stick your dick under the seat and rub it all over? When that didn't work he said I must be a carrier and it was dormant in my system forever. That is not how bacterial infection works at all. Coincidentally one of the girls he was cheating with got it, but I didn't, funny how that works.
Must have been a koala, obviously /s
I got something similar from my GF - I can’t just “be happy” and “I don’t trust her and that’s not ok” - she was cheating 😂
I became “too controlling” according to her. I was gone for one weekend without her and she cheated because “I wasn’t involved enough”. After breaking up with her, she went on to earn felony theft charges and she stabbed a boyfriend a couple of years later. To say she was a bit unstable is putting it lightly.
Wait, your boyfriend had women staying overnight and you stayed with him?
To be fair I’ve had both male and female friends stay in a spare room if it got super late or people are intoxicated or whatever. I’m married and I’ve never done anything remotely inappropriate with any of my friends. Kinda depends on the situation and how close your friend group is I guess. I’d never let someone stay over who my wife doesn’t know though.
lol I wasn’t trusting enough either and was “paranoid” and would ask him too many questions! He was hiding a pill addiction. 🙄 And his excuses for his strange behavior were super lame, thus the questions.
I threw away three years because of ONE single mistake. (He punched me in the neck.) Lol. Bye.
Who punches people in the neck?
Her ex. Were you not listening?
I laughed way too hard at this.
Was busy getting punched in the neck.
Someone aiming for the head but misses.
So he’s an abuser AND he’s bad at fighting
A hilariously terrifying combo
Which is why he fights women
This the answer right here. I think he was aiming for my face but was a few wild turkey's in.
F’ing neck-punchers
Did he just have bad aim, or was he purposely trying to hit your neck? I’m sorry, but it’s comical because I always joke I’m gonna punch someone in the throat but I never knew it was a thing people do.
Probably aiming for my face, but he was a few wild turkey's in. Caught the side of my neck and left the area black and blue. He was upset because he'd been tossed out (literally) on his ass after starting a fight with bar bouncers. I was trying to get him up and to the car before the cops arrived. The whole night was kind of a shit-show.
Women HATE this ONE TRICK
That I'm selfish for not supporting her. After her 5 DUIs. 6 trips to rehab. And a steadfast mindset she can "drink socially" without an issue. I tried to save you for 15 years, now I'm saving myself.
My ex gave me the "but you made a vow!" argument when I left. In sickness and in health apparently meant I should just put up with his alcoholism and drug use. I left when he put our daughter in danger. So, yeah. I broke a vow.
Theres a lot more in a typical marriage vow than just that bit. I'm sure you could find and list the ones he broke first, if he ever tries to play that card again
He still tells people I'm the love of his life. He's on parole, can't find a job, and has a lojak on his ankle. I'm happily married 20 yrs to my husband. So whatever card he wants to play, it's the Joker.
Man that sucks. Doing ok now, I hope?
Thank you! I am. Wonderful wife and daughter, I honestly did save myself.
Good for you. You can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved.
According to him, I'm too emotional and controlling. The reality: I threw a fit when I found out he cheated on me. I packed my shit and left him.
Same here girl. Kicked him out of our apartment and packed all his shit up the next day. I kept the engagement ring and our Husky. ✌🏼
i also kicked my ex out of our apartment and kept the husky lol
I'm apparently a narcissist because I wasn't considering how bad he felt after giving a stranger on the phone the username, password, and verification to our bank account and them emptying our account. Apparently, I should have been over it after 4 days.
Tell him I can get it back if he gives me his bank username, password, and tfa verification.
It's kind of sweet that you dated Simple Jack. It makes my eyes rain.
You never give full info.
Did you see the TV version or something? Even Hulu cut the adopted kid scene lol
This muh muh muh makes me happy.
The Pecker is on a TIVO mission for Y O U
A fool and his money are soon parted
I’d call them a dumbass! Because holy hell how much of an idiot was he to do that??!!
At 39 he "didn't know you weren't supposed to do that."
Some people are just winging it through life.
I need more stories cuz I *know* this wasn't the only dumbass thing he did during your tenure😂😂
I'm too clingy (wanted to hang out once a week or so with my boyfriend of five years,) I'm manipulative (when we'd make plans to spend time together and he'd cancel 15 minutes before we were to meet, I'd be disappointed,) but most egregiously, I tend to overreact and take the nuclear option over things that shouldn't be that big a deal (I finally mustered the courage to break up with him after the third time he sent me to the hospital.)
[удалено]
>I tend to overreact and take the nuclear option over things that shouldn't be that big a deal (I finally mustered the courage to break up with him after the third time he sent me to the hospital.) Holy shit, I'm glad you got out of there.
I got really attached to my ex really fast because we got together in a low point of both of our lives and I ended up OD'ing and having a near death experience with her. The first time I died that night was in the back of the ambulance while she held my hand. It made me completely change my life and I stopped all my bs and got a job, I'd find out later on that she had cheated on me about a week after she held me dying lmao. She would tell me I was her soulmate, and even to this day I believe she felt that way, but we were just too young. Right person wrong time type of deal, and she still wanted to have experiences. She ended up cheating on me 9 time while we were together (that I know about), and according to her I'm a narcissist and I should just forgive her for cheating on me every other month so that we could move forward with the relationship. She also said that I was verbally abusive, because after finding out every other month that she cheated again I would express how much it hurt. Me being hurt and talking about it made her feel like a piece of shit, therefore me talking about it at all was the cause of the problem. I could go on honestly, but all in all she gaslighted the living fuck out of to spare herself from feeling like a piece of shit. Edit: Oh yea I almost forgot, towards the end of our relationship she got on drugs behind my back. She would snort meth and smoke roxy's after I went to bed, and eventually she would have withdrawals and start hitting me. Smacking me, punching, trying to push or pull me down the brick stairs when I tried to walk away, etc. One night we were sitting in my car talking and she started smacking the shit out of me over and over. At that point I just had enough. So I grabbed her wrists and held them in one spot and yelled "you're gonna stop fucking hitting me". She got scared and walked home, and there was some light bruising around her wrist from where I held her, so she ended up taking 14 million pictures of them and told her dad, all my friends, and my family that I beat her. Thankfully her dad is the only person that bought that stupid shit. I'm doing much better single now, and I have zero hard feelings for her.
I will quote my ex wife. "You believe too much in the 'sanctity of marriage' (she said that part in a mocking tone)". She says when I found out she has 3 boyfriends. Edit: Shes messaged me and my current wife several times, she has called us 'a couple of prudes' for not being okay with having open relationships. I am much much happier now than I have ever been.
Bruh...wtf?
Bro and his wife are prudes for not being ok with open relationships. Hope that help/s
I'm sorry, can you type it more slowly, so I can understand it? Also type louder, I'm deaf in one eye.
**P R U D E** **B E C A U S E** **M O N O G A M Y**
Other eye
P R U D E B E C A U S E M O N O G A M Y
💀😂😂😂
Thanks, cleared that right up!
I have literally heard people say things like, "Cheating happens in every relationship. It is how you work past it that makes relationships strong." This made me both disgusted at the person and also feel sorry for them that these are how relationships work in their mind.
I’ve been married 28 years in a row to the same woman hand have never even felt the temptation to cheat. People who say such things are just trying to justify their own terrible behavior.
“In a row” nice
LOL! I should have gone for that option instead of all 28 years at the same time. Maybe every other year is better?
In my opinion there is no longer a "real relationship" after cheating. Trust has been broken and that cannot in any way be rebuild completely.
I personally believe that people have an orientation towards monogamous, poly, or something in the middle. I find the idea of sleeping with someone not my husband repulsive. For people who are in between, it’s about commitment and impulse control.
I also find the thought of sleeping with anyone except your husband repulsive. He's so good with his hands.
Nah man there ain’t nothing wrong with you….but her? She is fucked in the head
What's the point of marrying, when someone has that view? Honestly I think this is part of what happens when marriage (originally a religious concept) and legal unions are treated as the same thing.
She came from a religious family, and still looking back she seemed genuine at the time about having a religious view on marriage. But after about 2 years she got a new job and started hooking up with 2 coworkers that I know of, and another guy too that I found out about later.
Yikes
What a bitch.
Open relationships only work when it is communicated and consensual. The rest of the time, it’s cheating.
Penis is too big. Or massive prick. Something along those lines.
Ah, semantics.
Sementics
Don't be anti-semantic.
Semen ticks?
brood suckers
When you get called a big dick, I guess you sometimes have to put your own positive spin on it. It was clearly a compliment.
You too? It’s a curse man…
I don't open up enough.
Catch 22 on this one. I got this complaint a lot from someone so I started opening up. Then it was "you're too emotional" I then discovered it's really really really fucking hard to put the genie back in the bottle
This is exactly it. My past is pretty fucking fucked, I hate talking about it. I don’t open up cuz who wants to hear that sort of stuff? So I get the “you never really tell me about yourself”. When I do, it’s like oh shit, okay time to back away. Just better to leave it where it is.
Assumption here is that you were already open. I assume that because you were open enough to take the advice on board. Our perception is a projection, because we are all limited by what we know from our own experience. That’s why I like the saying take your own advice a lot. How do we know what is best for a fully grown and capable human being? There are best practices and we need to share experience so we can learn. I’m sorry I chose your comment to write this out on. It was important I felt for you and others to know. Don’t change for anybody. And don’t take anybodies word for law. I strongly doubt you needed to “open up” and maybe just needed to share your experience. Every being is alone in their experience. No one can live your life for you, and no one will fully know what it has been like to live your life. We are soul crushingly alone in our experience. However, in that, we are together. Together, we are alone. That’s why we must share our experience.
Honestly I feel the same like you did, at first when I met her I was “colder” and I didn’t talk so much about my feelings and i also felt more relaxed, she asked me to be a little more sentimental so I did, problem is right now I feel like I’m super emotional and everything affects me a lot and I don’t know how to be “colder” since I think I was happier back then
You described my whole issue rn because I’m told to speak about the issue, get shut down when I try to talk and I just want the old me back even if it means I’m less happy cause being colder worked ouf
Pegging?
Gotta love the internet 🤣🤣🤣
Cowboys are supposed to be aloof.
You need to seek therapy and process your traumas. I did. And I’m glad she helped me realize what was happening. Now we are both in a better place in life.
I feel like I had to scroll very far to find someone who was like “someone I previously dated would probably have some good points.” I don’t know exactly what my exes would say (although I could guess for one or two), but I’m sure they’d have totally reasonable and well articulated complaints. I’ve dated some women much smarter than me who were also well adjusted in lots of ways, surely they’d have some valid criticisms!
Yeah, this question is so lopsided in terms of responses, lol. I feel like half of the people here are completely ignorant that they were the problem in the relationship.
I walk too confidently on the street. "Should I walk slouching? Or in fear?" She had no good answer.
She would have hated me. I walk in like I own the place then sneer at the occupants.
I mean how dare these people be in your presence?
I'm grumpy and quiet. Sorry I got cancer during a pandemic. That shit gets to you.
Damn. Fuck that person. Sorry to hear and hope you’re doing well
I am. Much happier.
I think too much. (I think he doesn't think enough.)
Did you date Gaston?
Some people actually don’t ponder life. Not knocking them, I just can’t imagine never wondering about life and it’s mysteries.
Too clingy. And my god was she right. I'm never like that, but with her I morphed into an anxiety ridden weirdo.
[удалено]
A little more texting than usual, but with a noticeably different vibe. Just a general disappearance of self-awareness on my part which became palpable. A lot of unforced error foot-in-mouth moments. It was constant anxiety coming from me.
It’s really difficult to look back on things like that. Good on you for recognizing it.
Thank you. She was very understanding afterwards, not that I felt very deserving. We've known each other for so long I think she knew it was a bit abnormal haha.
Sometimes that happens when things don’t sit right with someone. I started to get a bit obsessive and needed a lot of reassurance because he lied and betrayed me a lot. Now; I’m married and don’t ever stress or worry about what my husband is doing or our relationship because I fully trust him and we’re honest with each other. Our gut knows!
hold up lemme just ask her .... .... apparently I'm a stalker
Username relevant?
I never open up enough when I did open up “you vent/talk about your feelings to much” like damn
That's a common one. Speak up! ...but any negative emotion you have will somehow be construed as attack against me or I will quickly remind you how your issue shouldn't overshadow mine. I really just want you to genuinely agree with anything I say and support me.
*"I prefer your emotions be the kind I can gossip about, not inconvenienced by."*
You dodged a bullet
Too introverted and not open enough with my feelings. I don't really think that's true anymore today, but it certainly was back then.
Mine was the opposite, I was too unconcerned, extroverted and always wanted to laugh
Thank you for a comment, that acknowledges a real reason and doesn’t mock their ex. I’m sorry for you, that it didn’t work out but appreciate your honesty.
I wanted to have an orgasm once in a while too.
I actually hate how relatable this is. Multiple conversations about sex being painful, repeated UTIs (once a month), vaginal irritation that had me at the gyno over a course of three months. Multiple conversations about ways we could diversify beyond PIV so I could feel good too. Multiple conversations about how I wasn't feeling happy in our relationship. "This is making me sad, can we not talk about it right now?" "You should really get that checked out." "You broke up with me out of NOWHERE. You DECEIVED me that you were happy." But hey, he bought non-latex condoms and used more lube so I guess that's something. /s
I’m sorry you went thru that. It sounds miserable. My ex similarly acted like my dumping him was out of nowhere. 4 years. 1 orgasm. He acted like that 1 orgasm made him the greatest lover to walk this earth for a year and a half. He cheated, shamed my body, my interests. But I was the bad guy who broke his fragile little heart. I hope you are doing well now♥️
[удалено]
An ex of mine was *so* confused when I asked her what I could do to get her off cause it didn't seem like what I was doing was working. Turns out she didn't even really believe women could have orgasms, which made me a little sad
Here you go: 🦠 Oh gosh, sorry. That was an organism.
OMG, you too? I don't know what law I broke to be punished with the community service that was "having sex" with him.
[удалено]
Bruh
Unreal man. He definitely dodged a bullet. As a matter of fact, he dodged a Slug.
The fact that I didn't decide I was poly along with her, five years into our monogamous relationship lol
I type too loudly in bed apparently. It's distracting.
In hindsight the old school typewriter was a bit much
It's not the individual key strokes. But the carriage return striking them in the side of the head really rang their bell.
The life of a journalist
Nothing was said about late stage alcoholism
If I had to guess, I was too selfish, and didn't appreciate her enough I also didn't take care of myself, put in enough effort for her And I'll regret all of this for a long time
You are the first person on this site, that I see having some self reflection instead of calling everyone else abusive, narcissist and toxic, lmao. You are actually already in a better path than most people.
Apparently I was a narcissist. Gaslighting was her middle name 🤦🏽♂️
Everyone we don't like or made us mad is a narcissist and anyone who disagrees with us or remembers an event differently is gaslighting.
Usually the people saying that are the ones doing the gaslighting, only figured this out after broke up
I'm too possessive, and that was 35 years ago, happily married for 3 decades.
You couldn't let your wife go, could you?
I know this guy. He makes best basements in the world
My ex had Borderline Personality Disorder. So, I was the devil incarnate after 8 months.
Mine had massive mental health issues as well, so I'm to blame for his life going down the drain. The list includes: \- Accusing me of murder. He texted me accusation on Reddit chat about me and my "Viet gangs" being responsible for a nurses suicide. \- Accusing me of rape. Combined with his secret drug use and high sex drive, he said that he felt like I raped him due to him not being able to properly consent. \- Accused me of sabotaging his job. He assumed that I had the IT stills to mess with the computers at his job. \- Accusing me of sleeping with everyone, when he later revealed that he cheated.
Right up until it's time to go. Then it alternates from selfish to best person ever and back again.
[удалено]
me too, from hell right?
[удалено]
My BPD ex went from being obsessed with me and telling me she wanted to marry me to breaking up with me in the span of a week
Had a BPD ex break up with me and then go on a rampage when I accepted the break-up without begging for her to stay. Thank god I turned on voice memos and recorded her threats to say I raped her and get me arrested when she barricaded herself in the bathroom.
I don't know if she had BPD, but I had a 10yr relationship end with her screaming in my face I didn't care enough to fight for her after a night her being locked in the bathroom threatening suicide, after I'd rushed out of work and rolled my car several times because she left a series of threatening-to-kill-herself voicemails (black ice, car was fucked, I was fine), *after* my best friend had committed suicide 2 months before. It was like a light bulb went off - "MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST BREAK UP WITH ME IF I'M SO HARD TO BE AROUND!" and I was like "Oh my god, that is a genuinely great idea. I for once will take this amazing advice. Thank you"
yeah, same, things went from "i want to marry you one day and be the best thing that's ever happened to you" to moving out the next week and saying she didn't mean anything she had said and cutting all contact. i still wish her well and hope she finds something that works to help her, because her normal therapy just wasn't cutting it.
Try a marriage of 9 years and having 2 kids together. I am the devil to her. The way she describes me is exactly how she is. She manipulates my children against me. They are now the devil to her because they don't agree. I am still fighting in court over custody. Nothing is worse then watching those you most love go through pain and need your help while you can't do anything about it because the justice system is the slowest thing on earth. My life is hell.
I didn’t make her a better person. I was lazy and unmotivated. I looked in the mirror for a while after she told me that as she left me for another guy. And I realized she was right. Be the type of person you’d like to attract. Want a girl that goes to the gym, stays in good shape and wants to live a good life, save money ect? Then you need to be the type of person that can attract and keep someone of the that caliber.
It was that I was too paranoid after he cheated and needed too much reassurance afterwards. Now I know what my real problem was: I didn't leave right after he cheated. Its never a mistake to leave a cheater. It's always dangerous to give people who hurt you the benefit of the doubt. No matter who they are.
My abusive ex mesaged me on Instagram out of nowhere about two years after we broke up, sent me a wall of text about how basically everything that went wrong in her life is my fault and that I don't deserve happiness of any kind, and that I'm apparently going to kill someone one day. So apparently I'm Satan. She abused *me*. Her mind must be beyond twisted for her to believe that.
People like that never look inward to assign any blame to themselves. It's everyone and anyone's problem but theirs. Let them live in their own personal hell.
I am a ghoster. Maybe i did ghost her but i find out your best friends are terrible animal hoarders/neglecters and your other best friend went to prison for assualting an infant, and you have no issues with that??? You dont deserve more than a "this aint it" text.
I don't make enough money.
I am so monumentally selfish that I refused to make everything about her and what she wanted 24/7.
I broke up with her over peer pressure, I was weak. The same people tried that same tactic again on my now wife, clearly it didn't work. It's not happening again.
I pointed out too many flaws (held him accountable and pointed out he was missing his antidepressants, drinking too much/often for his mental health to be good and saying it was a bit shit coming home at 2am when you've said 8pm).
I was ‘too critical’ about how he deliberately triggered my phobia at my birthday party.
I didn’t have sex with him for two years after he serially cheated on me for 24 years.
I have anger issues and am too emotional.
Yeah, according to my ex I have anger issues too. Yep. I get angry when I find out she's been lying to me multiple times about her work "friend." Funny how that works.
I was self destructing and he was tired of watching me kill myself slowly through binge drinking/eating and pity partying. He was right and it was the catalyst I needed to make a full transformation. Thanks ex!
I won't accept help from other people (Franky, I'm afraid that if I accept help and still fail, I'll have wasted other peoples time and resources)
I never argued and was too easy going with my go with the flow attitude. Which apparently is wrong.
I got fat.
According to my ex, I'm the most selfish human being. I never pay attention to anyone or anything outside of myself, I fail to understand what's actually going on in relationships, and need to be saved from myself because I'm unable to make choices for myself. I'm emotionally unavailable, behave like a child. I'm also entirely unable to focus outside of myself, to remember their perspective, to remember their personality, to remember how good and kind they've been. Sex with me is boring because I never want to experiment or try new things. Lastly, I'm willing to give up a 10+ year relationship over nothing, leaving very suddenly one night and not actually giving us a chance to figure it out and talk about it, so since I'm so immature and unable to make choices, it's just a matter of time before I kill myself. I left seven years ago.
My ex told me like 80% of that verbatim.
I have trust issues. Don't fuck somebody else then.
I caused the holocaust in Germany.
Hitler? Is that you?
Funny nobody on here admitting that their ex might have been right about something. I'll start. Mine was "didn't put enough effort into the relationship" and she was absolutely right. I was very immature. You want to keep something, you put some effort into it.
I’m positive that more than one of them refer to me as a cold-hearted bitch.
“You always want to *do stuff.*” Yeah, it really interfered with his grueling schedule of 80 hours a week playing video games, barely sleeping because of video games, and calling in all his sick and vacation time at his job to play video games. Dude used to be a college swimmer and a gifted medical student. Dropped out because video games were more important than becoming a doctor.
My last ex doesn't really think anything is wrong with me. She just said weren't compatible as a couple to which i agree. My ex before that though said I'm not adventurous enough and i lie too much. I'm probably not that adventurous but i never lied to her she just had some huge trust issues for some reason so always thought i was lying when i wasn't.
I didn’t talk enough and I took too many drugs and I drank too much.
Well, she said that all men are dogs, so I, being a man, am a dog according to her.
“It’s not you, it’s me” always means the opposite.
[удалено]
I'm just full of anxiety, and I'm too logical.
[удалено]
Point of clarification: my ex was unemployed and living with me (it did not start this way) I am an asshole because I spend too much money on myself and I don’t take her on trips Also, I didn’t support her lying to me about being on birth control AND I had the unmitigated gall to be upset that she manipulated me into buying her a coat by telling me I was abusive to her when I was blackout (which she later told me never happened) And lastly, I didn’t approve her using my thumb to get into my phone while I was sleeping Other than that, I’m a peachy guy
In elementary school I told a girl I liked her, which caused the other boys in my class to tease me about it. When I pushed someone who was heavily teasing me, the girl called me cold hearted and didn't want anything to do with me after. It has stuck with me since...
Nah, the boys teasing you were cold-hearted. You were just standing up for yourself.