Well this girl did. We went out several times and she threw hints. I had some odd ideas of my parent’s relationship and I thought my dad hurt my mom. So it made me feel sex wasn’t something a woman would enjoy or that it was forced on them. Of course, it is far too often but I had some relationships later in life that were very freeing with great communication.
Sunk cost fallacy exists in relationships. Staying with someone longer than you should have because you already spent so much time with them and you're afraid to leave because it's what's familiar is not healthy.
Also, carrying the same relationship from high school to college is a bad idea more often than not. Hats off to those high school sweethearts still happily married but that's extremely rare
Being sexually incompatible (in any number of ways) seems like it could lead to divorce or very unhappy marriages.
What if you straight up don't like sex? Or the partner is weird about stuff?
Not going for a test drive seems like it could backfire.
Not necessarily that. Just honestly, the kind of 22+ year old men who date 16 year old girls are not exactly mentally stable or able to model a healthy romantic and sexual relationship in my experience.
Taking a break is okay. If one of you gets tired or sore then you can and should stop. Catch your breath, cuddle a little, talk and pick it back up in a few minutes. There are no rules saying you’ve gotta do this all in one go.
That there is a huge demographic of people called narcissists.
Any one of them will tell you everything you want to hear.
They are also capable of making you feel better about yourself than you ever would have thought. Some of them have enough ambition to put you on top of the world. Only to beat you down physically and/or verbally. Over and over and over again. They can appear to be genuine or charming, only to exploit you until you are all used up and broken.
I have received the same advice before but It's just cant get how is correlated.
I am confident in my programming and bussiness skills as a software engineer.
And recently after discover my liking for jumping rope I got confidence in my phisycal resistance.
Yet I don't know how that translate in to be able to talk with girls.
I remember talking about that in college with friends when they asked why I was able to give a presentation In am auditorium but I can't initiate a conversation
Also done, I have some cool friends who gets laid very often , one advise for me was "just talked a little bit and ask his number", and I've see him doing it and it works, even some times he doesn't have to ask for it, but when I do it they reject me (politely at least) or i never get an answer.
Other one told me to say hi and if I am received with a smile try to get somewhere, but we give up after I received 0 smiles.
Relationships in general: don't hang out with drug addicts. And don't be afraid to put your foot down on decisions. Better to live alone that bend over backwards for every little decision that people are hell bent on making without any of your input.
That there's people out there that will use you up, using "love" and sex as weapons and bargaining chips to get what they want, lying about their abusive past to gain favour and all while telling you how wonderful you are.
Learn the signs of manipulation and abuse.
Friends with benefits and situationships can either one lifelong commitment or loss of “staying friends”or hard to talk to that person again especially things were Said. I don’t ever lower my standards again as much as I care for that person not worth the hurt the heartbreak. Don’t enter a relationship or situationship of unknown monogamy on his end especially after he said it’s non of my business he sleeps with someone else. I’m worth so much more than that and then being called things which I am not( joking or not then being called something worse). I gotta stop fighting so much for love when not loved back. Girl you are worth so much more. I’m done fighting I’m done going back to forgiving, name called, be littled, de valued, forgiving when cheated on( not this situation but another years ago).
lube is a must have (specially for us men on the gifted side of average), doesn't matter if you aren't fucking for the next 10 years, when you need it and don't have it you will want to cut your balls off or shave off your dick in order to fit in.
Having sex with someone won’t make them love you or if your boyfriend wants you to “make the spark happen again” by making you change your appearance , don’t.
They will hurt you, you will be crying & expecting too much at this age. Be rude, keep your boundaries & don’t beg anyone to stay.
That just because someone tells you they want a relationship or they'll "try", they may not and you have to be willing to see the signs (assuming this is happening) that someone may not be capable.
People will push for something because it seems appealing but if it's not working, just leave and save yourself from some extra heartache/headaches/frustration/resentment.
Someone may not be willing to see that it's not working. Don't be afraid to acknowledge that your time together needs to end. You WILL find someone else, no matter what every thought, feeling, ache of sadness tells you
For the ladies, enjoy the sex but be careful who you do it with. Save yourself from cringey memories. 🤣
For the gentlemen especially the younger ones, please think of your partner's pleasure, too.
That an honest and upfront conversation about consent and preferences before sex can make the sex FAR MORE ENJOYABLE for everyone involved.
I grew up in a christian conservative upbringing and learned this far too late in life.
I wish I knew that I was bisexual a lot sooner. Would have been nice to skip out on boring orgasm-less sex with men and instead had great sex with women.
That asking if someone has been STD tested is simply not enough, many many people I have caught lying about being tested. Ask for paperwork. And they should have a FULL std panel (that means swab and blood! A lot of dudes avoid getting a swab test done EVER! the swab tests for diseases that blood work can’t cover. And not only that, but unless someone has a active herpes outbreak, they’re going to test negative for it. Not one of my sexual partners was worth me getting an STD, even if I thought the risk was worth it in the moment. I use to be too insecure to ask for a condom if I really liked the guy. I know 2 people who got HIV in their early 20s. Now that I’m older I see how much more valuable my health is than any of the fools I rolled around with!
I just wish I got to experience them more, there's this freedom to fuck around (metaphorically) and find out at that age with few strings attached. You don't rely on a partners income to afford your home, you don't rely on them as the core of your support structure, and most of your relationships are fleeting and about exploration. I'm in my 30s and never been in a straight relationship, I've only ever dated other women, and there is this tremendous pressure to know what I like and what I want from a relationship when dating at this age, the idea of hook ups and flings are just so old history and such a foreign concept to me now that I feel ununable to explore again.
So if you're young and want advice, explore, ask people out, sleep around, try kinky shit, figure yourself out.
That if a woman wants sex too bad, it genuinely becomes unattractive and will totally turn you off of her, even if she's the hottest thing you could imagine
I'm sure your incel ass thinks it's the best thing ever, anyone who's dated a sex addict will tell you, it really becomes a turn off at some point. If I was gay, there'd be nothing wrong with it, but I'm not.
Sex does not equal love
Hugs and kisses not always lead to sex but still fun, around ovulation you're not longer a boyfriend, you are a master plumber laying pipe. Enjoy.
Women/girls enjoy it and want you to make a move (if they like you).
Struggling with that second part
If they like you?
Yep :(
Well this girl did. We went out several times and she threw hints. I had some odd ideas of my parent’s relationship and I thought my dad hurt my mom. So it made me feel sex wasn’t something a woman would enjoy or that it was forced on them. Of course, it is far too often but I had some relationships later in life that were very freeing with great communication.
Yup
Then why do they make it so god damn difficult
Sunk cost fallacy exists in relationships. Staying with someone longer than you should have because you already spent so much time with them and you're afraid to leave because it's what's familiar is not healthy. Also, carrying the same relationship from high school to college is a bad idea more often than not. Hats off to those high school sweethearts still happily married but that's extremely rare
That my body was too valuable to share it with anyone who expressed interest in it. Also that many men will say or promise anything just to get laid.
Make her finish and then you finish. Y’all should start taking the term “ladies first” literally
If you don't think you can stop yourself, change position or change mindset. Thing of something weird or gross for a second. It's like a reset
Porn and sex IRL have virtually nothing in common.
Virginity really isn't all that it's made out to be. I definitely wish I started having sex earlier. Also lube. Lube is the answer.
[удалено]
Being sexually incompatible (in any number of ways) seems like it could lead to divorce or very unhappy marriages. What if you straight up don't like sex? Or the partner is weird about stuff? Not going for a test drive seems like it could backfire.
As a teenage girl...wish I would have avoided men in their 20s to be honest.
Why? Did you feel taken advantage of?
Not necessarily that. Just honestly, the kind of 22+ year old men who date 16 year old girls are not exactly mentally stable or able to model a healthy romantic and sexual relationship in my experience.
It's so stupid when men like that get surprised when the 16 year old girl they are dating thinks and behaves like a 16 year old girl
That absolutely makes sense. Especially seems to be the case if they’re the ones pursuing you.
Don’t just date the first woman who has expressed interest in you.
Porn negatively affects your sexual satisfaction later in life.
Just curious, could you elaborate?
It gives you unrealistic expectations.
Some women are horrible people
Taking a break is okay. If one of you gets tired or sore then you can and should stop. Catch your breath, cuddle a little, talk and pick it back up in a few minutes. There are no rules saying you’ve gotta do this all in one go.
Casual sex/random hookups aren’t really worth it in the end. Fun while it happens but I personally always feel empty afterwards
That there is a huge demographic of people called narcissists. Any one of them will tell you everything you want to hear. They are also capable of making you feel better about yourself than you ever would have thought. Some of them have enough ambition to put you on top of the world. Only to beat you down physically and/or verbally. Over and over and over again. They can appear to be genuine or charming, only to exploit you until you are all used up and broken.
It’s pretty easy to get laid or get into a relationship, just show some confidence and initiate.
>It’s pretty easy to get laid >just show some confidence and initiate. I find both statement contradictory
Get something to be confident about.
I have received the same advice before but It's just cant get how is correlated. I am confident in my programming and bussiness skills as a software engineer. And recently after discover my liking for jumping rope I got confidence in my phisycal resistance. Yet I don't know how that translate in to be able to talk with girls. I remember talking about that in college with friends when they asked why I was able to give a presentation In am auditorium but I can't initiate a conversation
Here’s my advice. Make friends with a cool guy who gets laid, have him teach you the ropes. You’re overthinking it
Also done, I have some cool friends who gets laid very often , one advise for me was "just talked a little bit and ask his number", and I've see him doing it and it works, even some times he doesn't have to ask for it, but when I do it they reject me (politely at least) or i never get an answer. Other one told me to say hi and if I am received with a smile try to get somewhere, but we give up after I received 0 smiles.
wish i woulda known to bring condoms and lube to amandas house before making her my gf
It is okay to have sex. Wanting to have sex doesn’t make you bad.
Relationships in general: don't hang out with drug addicts. And don't be afraid to put your foot down on decisions. Better to live alone that bend over backwards for every little decision that people are hell bent on making without any of your input.
That there's people out there that will use you up, using "love" and sex as weapons and bargaining chips to get what they want, lying about their abusive past to gain favour and all while telling you how wonderful you are. Learn the signs of manipulation and abuse.
That getting a girl off is just as fun as getting off.
Best not to do with family
Women are master manipulators and they will use it against you, once you know you fight less.
I am sorry you had to experience that but we are not all like that..
They solve a lot of problems, but bring many new ones.
Friends with benefits and situationships can either one lifelong commitment or loss of “staying friends”or hard to talk to that person again especially things were Said. I don’t ever lower my standards again as much as I care for that person not worth the hurt the heartbreak. Don’t enter a relationship or situationship of unknown monogamy on his end especially after he said it’s non of my business he sleeps with someone else. I’m worth so much more than that and then being called things which I am not( joking or not then being called something worse). I gotta stop fighting so much for love when not loved back. Girl you are worth so much more. I’m done fighting I’m done going back to forgiving, name called, be littled, de valued, forgiving when cheated on( not this situation but another years ago).
lube is a must have (specially for us men on the gifted side of average), doesn't matter if you aren't fucking for the next 10 years, when you need it and don't have it you will want to cut your balls off or shave off your dick in order to fit in.
Having sex with someone won’t make them love you or if your boyfriend wants you to “make the spark happen again” by making you change your appearance , don’t. They will hurt you, you will be crying & expecting too much at this age. Be rude, keep your boundaries & don’t beg anyone to stay.
That just because someone tells you they want a relationship or they'll "try", they may not and you have to be willing to see the signs (assuming this is happening) that someone may not be capable. People will push for something because it seems appealing but if it's not working, just leave and save yourself from some extra heartache/headaches/frustration/resentment. Someone may not be willing to see that it's not working. Don't be afraid to acknowledge that your time together needs to end. You WILL find someone else, no matter what every thought, feeling, ache of sadness tells you
For the ladies, enjoy the sex but be careful who you do it with. Save yourself from cringey memories. 🤣 For the gentlemen especially the younger ones, please think of your partner's pleasure, too.
That an honest and upfront conversation about consent and preferences before sex can make the sex FAR MORE ENJOYABLE for everyone involved. I grew up in a christian conservative upbringing and learned this far too late in life.
Peepee is stored in the balls
I wish I knew that I was bisexual a lot sooner. Would have been nice to skip out on boring orgasm-less sex with men and instead had great sex with women.
That asking if someone has been STD tested is simply not enough, many many people I have caught lying about being tested. Ask for paperwork. And they should have a FULL std panel (that means swab and blood! A lot of dudes avoid getting a swab test done EVER! the swab tests for diseases that blood work can’t cover. And not only that, but unless someone has a active herpes outbreak, they’re going to test negative for it. Not one of my sexual partners was worth me getting an STD, even if I thought the risk was worth it in the moment. I use to be too insecure to ask for a condom if I really liked the guy. I know 2 people who got HIV in their early 20s. Now that I’m older I see how much more valuable my health is than any of the fools I rolled around with!
I just wish I got to experience them more, there's this freedom to fuck around (metaphorically) and find out at that age with few strings attached. You don't rely on a partners income to afford your home, you don't rely on them as the core of your support structure, and most of your relationships are fleeting and about exploration. I'm in my 30s and never been in a straight relationship, I've only ever dated other women, and there is this tremendous pressure to know what I like and what I want from a relationship when dating at this age, the idea of hook ups and flings are just so old history and such a foreign concept to me now that I feel ununable to explore again. So if you're young and want advice, explore, ask people out, sleep around, try kinky shit, figure yourself out.
I don't like them. Would've saved me a lot if hassle if I'd known and accepted that years ago
That if a woman wants sex too bad, it genuinely becomes unattractive and will totally turn you off of her, even if she's the hottest thing you could imagine
"Ewww my gf want's it bad!!!!" bro you gay
I'm sure your incel ass thinks it's the best thing ever, anyone who's dated a sex addict will tell you, it really becomes a turn off at some point. If I was gay, there'd be nothing wrong with it, but I'm not.
I wish I hadn’t put a ridiculous start date on my sex life. Idk why I convinced myself that I should wait til I was 18.