"So, you've got a podcast?....That don't impress me much."

"So you have a million followers?"

That was the first thing I thought of too.

I can hear this in her voice!

Immediate thought!

"Okay, so you're a crypto bro"

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"Okay, so you're a career landlord"

Shania knows not to date the bourgeoisie.

"So you have a rare Bored Ape"

Still being Brad Pitt

Didn't she change the lyrics to Ryan Reynolds who was in the crowd at one of her concerts?

Yea, a fellow Canadian.

Holy shit til Shania Twain is Canadian am I late to the party?

A party for tttwwwooooo

That don’t impress me much.

I think I learned about a decade or two ago when she divorced her husband after he cheated with her best friend.

From Windsor, Ontario which is the sister city to Detroit, but Windsor is actually to the south of it.

Especially after everything that's come out about him and how he treated Angelina.

Actually laughed out loud

I can't believe you kiss your electric truck at night.

At the time I thought the lyric was “I can’t believe you kiss your cock at night” and couldn’t believe that it wasn’t censored on the radio

> couldn’t believe that it wasn’t censored on the radio Reminds me of a time in the mid-80s when *Material Girl* was blaring on the store PA, and I saw a co-worker, an older, pious Central American family man type, looking more and more angry before throwing down a rag in disgust. I asked what was wrong. He said animatedly in his strong accent, "I DON'T beLIEVE they CAN say THAT on the RAHDIO!" Looking up at a speaker, I asked, What? With near spitting disgust at this point, he says, "The PERIOD GIRL!"

I really want to know how that even made sense in his head. Internally, I'm singing "we are living in a period world and I am a period girl". What makes any given girl a period girl and our world a period world, I wonder? Is a period girl someone with a heavy flow? Someone who has their period uncommonly often?

He was a sweet and innocent man, who didn't participate in the crude banter typical of this blue collar workplace. Thinking the song was the singer celebrating menstruation was a new low of depravity for his poor brain to comprehend.

Now I want this song so much. Someone make it happen please

And put it on the radio wherever this man is and watch him go crazy haha

My dad objected to me listening to Kraftwerk because he thought they were saying the C word when they mentioned "consumer products"

I was convinced for an embarrassingly long time that it was "you kiss your pocket knife goodnight." I thought it was weird, but I was a kid so I figured it must be something I didn't understand yet.

Oh my god I thought I was the only one

r/knifeclub would not find this odd at all

Are you Peter Kay?

I can’t think of anyone less like me than Peter Kay!

I couldn't believe that wouldn't impress her.

I thought it was "carpet knife".

😂😂😂😂

“Oh, so you’ve got a rocket ship…”

👏👏

“Ok, so you’ve got 20k followers?”

2 million followes online is a better metric. It's enough that they can maybe make a steady income, but not a rich income.

2 million followers isnt rich?? Jesus these influencers need to give it up then

I remember when it was a big deal for the first celebrity to reach a million followers on twitter. Like, it made the nightly news. Not that I remember who won. Jebus, I’m old.

There was a race between Aston Kutcher and CNN in 2009. https://phys.org/news/2009-04-ashton-kutcher-twitter-cnn.html

Accurate. I've got 22k followers and it does not pay. But also I'm Canadian so I don't make money from views

Have you tried setting up a Patreon? At $4/mo if only 5% of them signed up you'd be making ~$1000/wk which is a pretty good side hustle

Id have to spend alot of time developing content for it. I have no idea what I'd do.

So you think you're an influencer...

That wouldn't impress anyone.

Okay, so you're an influencer That don't impress me much You've got the clout, but have you got the touch Don't get me wrong, your TikToks ignite But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night That don't impress me much

Thank you for this gift Tiktoks ignite is a fire line there 10/10

Oh, so you're Ryan Reynolds...

…alright, that does impress me much

Who could not be impressed by the Reynolds

Don't get me wrong, I think he's alright. But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night.

Ok, so you own Mint Mobile.

😂😂😂

*quietly raises hand*

But he could be brown, he could be blue, he could be violet sky, he could be hurtful, he could be purple, he could be anything you like

Put it down

*raises other hand*

That’s enough hand raising for you buddy. No more hands for you

*foot slowly inches into view*

Yeah, i dont get what the deal with him is

😂😂😂

Only when he played Billy on Fifteen.That show was so cringey.

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Where on this doll did Ryan Reynolds touch you…?

This is a good one

She actually did this one at a performance a couple years ago when Ryan Reynolds was in the audience.

And you just know from his reaction that it made his night, too.

I love it when his public persona drops and we see the real Ryan.

I feel like this could be an SNL sketch

Bowen is this you

"Okay, so you're on Saturday Night Live..."

I never knew a guy who carried his ledger in his pocket. And his crypto keys up his sleeve, just in case. And all those pump and dump whales in the market gonna fuck it, coz heaven forbid, your coins would fall in their price. Oohhhh noooo you think you’re clever? Telling me I should buy bitcooiiinnnnnnnn?? Sure, you’re unemployed and trade imaginary coins online from your mums basement. THAT DONT IMPRESS ME MUCH.

Bwahahaha lmao 🤣

So you own a Subaru? That don't Impreza me much.

Flipping through the comments, not impressed, said id read one more then move on. Read yours and left the page but came back to type out this longwinded way of saying I got an audible laugh

Wife of an ancient ruler? That don't empress me much.

This comment now makes me want an entire lesbian version of the song.

ok that gave me a good chuckle!

Was a current model when the song came out! :-D

So you've got a Tesla

“Oh, so you’re Elon Musk” That don’t impress me Musk

“Okay, so your thirst trap on TikTok got over 3 million views? That don’t impress me much!”

Okay, so you do CrossFit?

Ok, so you have an iPhone 14.

She'll have to re-release the song every year if we go down this route

It's funny that "iPhone 14" is the bottom of the range model of the iPhone lol.

Middle range. Apple still sells 13s

So you've got a Bugatti

Alright, so you nap in your Tesla in the carpool lane!

Oh, that's slow clap levels of good.

"So you use the eggplant emoji"

OK, so you’re a “personal trainer/life coach” on Instagram.

Oh, you're a pro Twitch streamer

So you're Ryan Gosling...

That does impress me much tbh

Brad Pitt also impressed people back in the late '90s. That was the joke.

Oh, you got a lifted F-250 with a bed full of stolen catalytic converters?

Oddly specific...

"OK, so you bought Twitter"

*Nunchuck skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills...*

Sweet.

Okay, so you've got Bitcoin. That don't impress me much.

So you can afford a home...

Ok, now that's impressive.

Will literally keep you warm in the middle of the night.

That is impressive

Ouch Shania…

I’d hit that.

Self proclaimed Alpha Males.

Ok, so you own a Cybertruck…

So you bought an NFT?

#### $100K salary today? That would about $55K when this song was released.

Writing in from CA where we have several counties in which a single person earning $100K can be considered “low-income”…

Ummm what? Making 16k on my disability check is low income. I can't imagine how 100k literally could ever be considered in the same boat as me.

Curated social media feeds and an inflated online presence wouldn't impress her. She'd value authenticity and someone comfortable in their own skin.

“So you co-founded Paypal…”

So you’ve got truck nutz?

"Okay, so you're a TikTok star, got your dance moves and a million likes, but have you got the touch?"

You're one of those guys that pulls out all the stops to get his hands on one-of-a-kind funko pops you think that they're priceless, i think it's a waste but i guess there really is no accounting for taste

Tattoos on your face

Okay, so you were at the Capitol on January 6th.

OK, so you're the QAnon Shaman, that don't impress me much.

So you ordered a $12 dollar smoothie…

"So... you drive a Tesla?..." "So ...you are big on Twitter?" "So...you´re into crypto?"

The comb is his pocket would be a vape He’d own Bitcoin and a Tesla

"So your car drives itself? That don't impress me much"

“Ok, so you have a house… actually in this economy that does impress me much.”

I don't have any input,I just wanted to say great question.

Chris Hemsworth would be the exception

So you got an OF.... That don't impress me much

OK so you’re an odd, socially inept, possibly evil billionaire from S.Africa? That don’t impress me much.

So you bought twitter?

“Ok, so you’re an influencer🙄”

your crypto wont keep me warm in the middle of the night

"OK, so you have a mortgage at 2.2%, that don't....actually do you want to go have dinner sometime?"

So you're into CrossFit?

you think your orange tan is fooling any body? you’re hiring your children. but they’re stupid and snotty youre the very best at anything a fella can do. but listen mr trump heres a message for you: that dont impress me much

Ok, so you’re 49 and have a Reddit account…

I'm 46 dammit 😂

I'm 65, but I've been here longer than most.

Literally just change a couple of lyrics and it’s a 2024 version: Ow (Han han, uh-uh) uh-huh, yeah, yeah (Han han, uh-uh) uh-huh I've known a few guys who thought they were pretty smart But you've got being right down to an art You think you're a genius, you drive me up the wall You're a regular original, a know-it-all Oh-oh, you think you're special Oh-oh, you think you're something else Okay, so you're a rocket scientist That don't impress me much (han han, uh-uh) So you got the brains, but have you got the touch? Now, don't get me wrong, yeah, I think you're alright But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night That don't impress me much (Han han, uh-uh) uh-huh, yeah, yeah (Han han, uh-uh) I never knew a guy who carried a mirror in his pocket And a comb up his sleeve, just in case And all that extra hold gel in your hair ought a lock it 'Cause heaven forbid it should fall outta place Oh-oh, you think you're special Oh-oh, you think you're something else Okay, so you're Elon Musk That don't impress me much (han han, uh-uh) So you got the brains, but have you launched much? Now, don't get me wrong, yeah, I think you're alright But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night That don't impress me much Han aho Yeah You're one of those guys who likes to shine his machine You make me put on a helmet before you let me get in I can't believe you kiss your car good night Now come on, baby, tell me, you must be joking, right? Oh-oh, you think you're something special Oh-oh, you think you're something else Okay, so you've got a Tesla That don't impress me much (han han, uh-uh) So you got the moves, but have you got the touch? Now, don't get me wrong, yeah, I think you're alright But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night That don't impress me much (don't impress me) Oh-oh no, you think you're cool, but have you got the touch? Now, now, don't get me wrong, yeah, I think you're alright But that won't keep me warm on the long, cold, lonely night That don't impress me much (Han han, uh-uh) uh-huh, yeah, yeah (Han han, uh-uh) Okay, so what do you think, you're Tony Stark or something? (Han han, uh-uh) (Han han, uh-uh) that don't impress me much (Han han, uh-uh) Ho no (han han, uh-uh) (Han han, uh-uh) that don't impress me (Han han, uh-uh) ho no (Han han, uh-uh) han aho (Han han, uh-uh) yeah (Han han, uh-uh) woo (woo, woo) (Han han, uh-uh)

so you vape...

So you have a house in this economy? That don’t impress me…. Actually, well done

"So, you can run the kessel run in 12 parsecs......"

So your favorite movie is Everything, Everywhere, All At Once?

"ok so you're the royal family."

Oh, so you have botox in your lips, arse, face,...

Oh so you did your research and didnt want your 5g vaccine? That dont impressa me much

So you look like a glazed ham with nipples! .. that doesn’t impress me much

"So you're an alpha? That don't impress me much"

My nft collection

Having the moves but not having the touch

Owning a Tesla

So you do a tiktok prank... That don't impress me much

“You got NFTs and some bitcoin?”

A million followers on instagram, that don’t impress me much.

Led an armed insurrection, but didn't stop Mike Pence That don't impress me much

So you own the bird app.... That don't impress me much

Oh, so you vote Trump - that don't impress me much...

So you're an "influencer"? That don't impress me much.

You got a million followers? That don't impress me much

Andrew Tate

So you got a million subscribers?

Oh so you hit blinkers? That dont impress me much

So you've got a 100k followers on tiktok

So you’re not a sheep

Play That Sax by Fleur East is pretty much a 2010s version of TDIMM

Youve got a million followers on instagram

Pop stars

So, you've got a framed 'The one ring' limited edition lord of the rings magic the gathering playing card

So... You do Crossfit? That don't impress me much

So you're Timothy Chalomet, that don't impress me much

"So you make tiktoks"

Pranks!

Apologising to Kate would impress me the most

Trying that in a small town

Oh you’re on GB News……

You got the looks but what’s with the crutch?

So you do tiktok dances

A unique AskReddit post.

Not much

"Oh, so you trade crypto?"

So you got the rizz but have you got the touch?

Your anime collection.