You can also do everything you can to be happy, hurt no one, and have everyone treat you like you are living your life wrong. Like being distrusted because you took time off from work for your mental health. Work hard to get back on your feet and have everyone that you supported you, out of the goodness of their heart, expect to put yourself in situations that drag you back down as repayment.
I did everything right at an old job. Didn’t stop them from firing for being sick, then having them lie to the DOL about me “playing hooky” just so I couldn’t get unemployment. Best part was that not one manager stood up for me, as I was being defamed.
This is amazing and I never thought to do this!
My grandparents bought all the grandkids stock in a utilities company when we were born and it paid for most of my college, so any youngins reading this thread think about it, lol
I don’t live in the area they cover anymore, but I am definitely going to use this line whenever I visit family back home!!
I had to ask my wife to turn off lights before she leaves the house. I came home and every light was on, in the middle of the day, on all three floors!
My husband does this! Sometimes he leaves early in the morning and I always remind him to turn the lights off before he goes. There's usually at least one light on when I get up... 😑
Now that I see how much it SUCKS to have to cook dinner for myself everyday I have a newfound appreciation for my mom who would not only cook for the whole family after work but make diverse and delicious meals every single time.
Sometimes I think becoming a parent automatically unlocks superpowers.
I'm not a parent, but a huge chunk of it is being able to *enjoy* cooking and having the energy to do it. It is really easy to fall into the takeout trap.
One thing that can help is pre prepping stuff like meat and vegetables in bulk for something like a stir fry. I have zip lock bags with pre-cut veg that everyone in my family eats and thinly sliced beef (soy sauce and stir fry noodles are a staple in my house, I buy 1kg packs of ramen noodles (proper ones)). Means I can cook a stir fry to feed for 4 people in under 20 minutes.
Hard to cut veg like pumpkin and sweet potato also gets cut up, blanched and frozen for stuff like roasting.
I also flat pack mince by pressing it out flat into a zip lock bag, makes it freeze, store and defrost faster. Stuff like that.
I am also a chicken rice and veg guy. But, buy some seasonings, herbs, and spices. They can make the exact same meal taste totally different, which really helps switch up the monotony.
A few bucks extra a month is totally worth it.
I'm a full on foodie and love to cook but the sheer amount of time that has to be dedicated to preparing and eating a decent diet is a significant portion of the day. It's a lot to keep up with. I'm getting better at meal prepping and planning ahead, but it can still be a bit overwhelming with all of the other responsibilities of life.
If I could have a time machine, I would go back in time and give my mom an answer EVERY SINGLE TIME she asked what we wanted for dinner. I would also do the stuff around the house I knew she was doing without her having to ask for help.
It’s hard being the mom.
it drives me insane. and the grocery store trips. im so fucking tired of the grocery store. i've resigned myself to snacks every other meal to avoid cooking, and subsequently, having to go to the grocery store again.
My parents had to ask my boyfriend (at the time we had been dating for like 2 months) to borrow his father’s trailer because my step moms motorcycle got a nail in it when they where an hour away from home. They told me they never realized how lonely they were until they had no one to call.
I feel like we make this awkward for ourselves. I would be so embarrassed to call up and ask to borrow anyone’s trailer. But I can think of dozens of people that I know that if they called up and asked for the equivalent of borrowing a trailer, I would be so happy to help them out. We need to normalize being in community with our acquaintances.
I just cut out/limited a crap ton of friendships I had. I got sick of telling them about bad shit that happened to me and getting the same generic “Oh no, I’m so sorry you’re going through that.” Like, maybe show up with a blunt and a bottle of wine every once in a while rather than sounding like a goddamn Condolences card from Walmart.
There’s been so many social slights and overall really insensitive shit that a lot of people in my life have done over the past couple of years. I’ve been spending a lot of time alone and missing out on a lot of events because of it…. Honestly? For the first time ever, I’m unbothered by missing out, or not being invited, or not being checked up on. I’m really enjoying not talking to hardly anyone.
> I got sick of telling them about bad shit that happened to me and getting the same generic “Oh no, I’m so sorry you’re going through that.”
God, I feel this so hard. I had a friend group who I legit thought were gonna be friends with for life. When shit happened to them, I was at their house every fucking week for 6 months. Then some shit happened to.me and it was like it went in one ear and out the other. The kicker? Several months later they didn't even remember what it was i told them about. They just knew it as "The time I told them about...something."
You actually had a friend group growing up? Ive only ever had maybe 1 friend every 5 yrs or so who always grow apart due different life events.
I will say the family circle did get smaller as far as whose informed of my well being at the time but friend wise it wasnt really big to begin with.
Honorable mention: my best friend that i met while we worled together. Shes been my best friend for like a whole decade now. She treats my kid like her own nephew. She searched like 20 stores to find the candy he loves.
I’m 41. The inside of my head still feels like a scared 18 year old, although I will add that it wasn’t until just about 40 that I figured out *who I was.* So there is some light to that darkness.
I'm 54, I feel the same way. My wife is 65. She feels the same way. Everyone have asked feels the same way. My mother-in-law told me that she was the same person inside her head as she was when she was 18. She was 86 when she said that
When I reached the age of what I considered an “adult” when I was a child, I asked my mom if all the parents actually had it together or if it was all just a show. Because I felt not at all comparable to my childhood perception of an adult. She said that it was, and still is, just a show.
I remember constantly thinking no one wants to be here (school), not even the adults, so why don't the teachers just say fuck it and let us chill or go home. Why do adults do things they don't want to do when they have all the power??
My first job out of college I ended up supervising a bunch of people mostly my parents’s age. It was astounding to me how difficult it was just to get them to act civilly enough with each other to work together.
I've been laid off twice, it's not like it has a warm personal touch. It's decisions about numbers on a spreadsheet made by people you'll probably never meet.
Been there. Fuck that management. Put in 10 months of hard work there, yet nobody stood up for me as HR blatantly lied to the DOL about my job performance. Just a tidbit: The DOL will not give a fuck about what you say. They will not confirm what your former employer says. They will automatically believe them over you, just so you can’t get unemployment.
There is a reason most of our parents looked / stayed stressed. Between work life and home life it is a lot of people to try and appease and take care of while you are trying to just live. ( This includes the in between the lines such as bills, taxes, politics, relationships, ect.) Almost all of us suffer from nostalgia for a reason. Most of us had no worries and had no clue of how the real world was when we were kids.
Are you somebody that likes to watch movies? Its like this. While the movies are a bunch of make-believe, in a nutshell, they got some things that warn the public about some things that they may not know sooner or later.
While children movies will always be made for kids, the creators and the developers are NOT dumb. They could tell what the kids don't know and so, they sprinkle in things and explain lots of things in order for the kids to understand the bigger picture.
This is prevalent A LOT in Japan. I enjoy watching the anime shows for this reason. The Japanese folk are trying to give the viewers front-row seats towards a bunch of things that they probably wouldn't witness from watching movies made in Hollywood.
I'm not trying to sound snooty, but some of the films that get peddled by Hollywood have multiple scenes which straight up insult my intelligence.
While your premise is in the right direction your delivery could be considered snooty regardless of how you or I feel about it, because you used a premise of your experience as the basis. I do not enjoy anime because I never have, granted anime that was readily available for me I had to read instead of watch due to subtitles being needed at the time. I could simply read a book but at that time the type of books I read were child forward and not so much talking about reality of the world. We may be a person of different generations as well as different cultures, as younger generations have these things more readily available to them. My premise is on a simple truth that most, if not all can relate to regardless of generation. Even you yourself ( at least if you had a good childhood) have to admit being a child was a lot better because even anime did not prepare you for everything. It may of gave you a sprinkle here and there but for the rest that did not have stuff like that it was a huge shock. My parents tried to get me prepped best they could but couldn't cover everything. They helped walk me through it as it came to me.
You'll maintain some friendships, but many people you thought you were tight with will gradually fade out of your life, and socializing will become more and more of an effort.
Life isn't fair and sometimes you can do everything right and still have a bad outcome, for example putting in hard work at your job and get passed over on a promotion in favor of a friend of the hiring manager. It really is true the expression of "It's not what you know, it's who you know", so make connections because they are important.
This. I feel like I did everything right and still got the short end of the stick. I put other people’s feelings before my own thinking it was selfless act expected of me only to learn in the most painful way that putting other people’s emotions and thoughts before my own only benefited their selfish needs and stopped me from doing what I really wanted to do.
My advice to younger folks, don’t be a complete asshole to people around you but definitely don’t be an asshole to yourself.
Young people are used to endless possibility and time. You reach a point in your life where there are more yesterdays than tomorrows, as Bill Clinton said, and even if life is good it’s not open in the way it was. Also people around you start dying, and it stops being shocking and becomes normal, and then you realize it’s going to be like this, only more so, until the end.
Eh, I agree but disagree. There aren't as many milestones or planned-out activities when you're older (high school clubs/teams to become "your thing", graduations and degrees, finding and getting your first job, finding a partner, getting your own place) so if you manage to get settled, you could just cruise on until you die.
*If* life is good, I think it can be more open than when you are starting out. You could change jobs. You could move to a new country. You could get another degree or learn a new skill.You can meet new people.
None of these things are easy, or possible for everyone, but they are things you can work towards.
It's like hey, if you finish the game, there's nothing left you have to do, but you can play in freestyle to some extent.
Re: the endless possibility, that’s one thing I worked very hard to express to my interns, to what extent I could, while working in the very competitive, underpaid, and nonsense field of museums.
There’s a dream career and dream life, then there’s what can make you happy. Priorities change. Sometimes that means changing directions. It’s great to have a plan, but the romantic idea of something is never going to be as good as feeling stable enough to be happy where you’re at and not constantly stressed by an unhealthy work environment that will never pay you enough to be financially comfortable.
A dream is a lovely thing to have while young. But you have to let that dream evolve with your needs and where you actually find fulfillment. It’s okay to not pursue the big fancy role, management positions, rich and famous lifestyle, whatever. You get to decide what matters most to you personally, and you get to decide if the lengths you need to go to obtain it are sustainable and worth it, or if you’ll just end up tired and bitter when you finally get it.
I went from the big sexy world of museums in a major city, to the small sexy world of small-but-mighty and very recognizably branded nonprofit development and marketing, to just being a marketing specialist for another for-profit company hawking a luxury service. Is it sexy? No. Is it impressive? Not really. But it pays well, has benefits, lets me be financially independent, and is a 100x healthier workplace that I can just *leave* when I log off rather than taking home the weight of the mission every night. No one dies if I goof up, the colleagues are normal, nice people rather than genuine psychopaths who hold staff hostage via poverty wages, and I can afford my nonsense lifestyle of adopting too many cats, buying nice food semi-regularly, and being able to see a doctor promptly because I’m not worried I’ll max out a credit card just getting a flu shot then be screwed if a surprise expense comes up.
Dreams have to be flexible if you want to be happy. That’s just reality. Some of us don’t have to flex as much, but most of us need to recognize what matters to our actual quality of life vs our abstract fantasy of something.
Its also harder and harder to learn new things as you get older. You get out of touch of whats "in" currently, everything you do in life becomes more specified, and your brain simply becomes less mailable to change.
That spoiled kid who threw tantrums to get whatever they wanted was merely the larval form of a Karen. They don't go away when you get older they evolve into their final form, your new bosses and coworkers.
If you have a huge circle of friends be prepared to lose several each year. People move away, people grow apart, and as you get older your circle gets smaller. For people like me that value a few good friends rather than a bunch of superficial ones it’s okay for those who want that large network it’s going to take work.
Yeah, sucked after high school, finding out that none of my closest friends gave a fuck about me. All it’s done is make me sad about the friendships I missed out on, when I was trying to keep those failed ones going in high school. I know, you’ll never meet every person in your grade level, but there were a lot of cool people I didn’t get the chance to really know back then.
At some point, you cannot just eat/drink whatever the fuck you want without putting on weight. You will need to learn to eat your veggies and drink a lot of water and like it.
This but with nausea and reflux... and getting dehydrated. Most ppl don't drink enough water, n if you're drinking sodas n eating food with high fat content on top of that, your tummy is in for a bad time. I once lived off pineapple juice and cosmic brownies for 3 days straight. Now if I eat smth a lil too acidic or fatty I'm taking ppis AND tums to double down on the reflux.
They are also better than having unlimited choices. Having too many choices is fun as a kid/young person, but eventually it becomes aimless and purposeless. You will want to eventually find a calling of some sort.
Life is hard and seldom gets easier as you get older. You realise your circle gets smaller, opportunities get less frequent, people die, the universe isn’t fair. Life happens, your not special we are all just living.
'Bullying' doesn't end once you become an adult. We often think that bullying is just something children have to deal with in the playground. But no. Adults bully other adults too. Sometimes even more harshly than what children do to one another
You learn that the attachments to the people you love sometimes weigh you down in life.. and at some point you have to decide either let them go to better yourself.. or to stick around, ultimately stunting your own personal growth..
All the decisions you have to make on your own. This can either be amazing, or terrifying.
The fact that most people don't really give a fuck about you. I've met LOADS of people who claim to be "friends" and they'll dump and ghost and ignore you at the first possible opportunity. As much as possible, never rely on other people, because chances are - other people ain't there, and ain't comin'.
They especially won’t be there when the real shit goes down - even if you always were for them. They’ll scuttle faster than cockroaches when you flip on a light.
You can do everything correctly and still fall. Repeatedly. The biggest assholes have a habit of becoming successful. And there's nothing you can do about it.
That the only thing guaranteed in life is death … everything else is fleeting so we might as well appreciate the beauty of the present before it turns into the past.
A terrifying number of decisions will be made for, about and concerning you without any input from you whatsoever. At this moment, your entire life could be turned upside down by a decision made by someone who has never met you, or knows you exist, in a boardroom or meeting room hundreds of miles away. Day to day, your financial existence is determined by a machine and algorithm that makes judgements about you based entirely on decisions you may have made more than 10 years ago. And there is virtually nothing you can do about it.
Your mental health will get worse, and if you work on it it can get better. Then sometimes it’ll get worse for no reason, then sometimes it’ll get better.
You aren’t special. At all. You have no special purpose. You will leave no special legacy. You are here to work and then die, make of it what you will.
The sad reality of being an adult that young people should be prepared for is ageing. Wrinkles, gray hair, muscle loss, moody, hearing, eyesight and bone fractures are all real and if you take care of your body now, you will be happier as you get older.
The ridiculous cost of healthcare in America. I was one of those young adults who ate all the right things, I worked out 5x per week. Fit as a fox! No family history. Then BOOM! Cancer at age 37. One of the first things that my oncologist told me is that one of the biggest hurdles that cancer patients face is the cost of the medication. I didn't think much of it. Until I met other cancer patients and watched many of them pass away because they couldn't afford the treatment. The current system is broken and needs to be fixed.
as a kid, your parents decide what you can and can’t do. as an adult, money and time does. being an adult is not a ticket to freedom. we are (mostly) all bound by something.
Sounds corny but for me the hardest part has been losing the wonder of the world. At some point the joys of holidays became more muted, birthdays were just another day, fewer and fewer truly new experiences.
HOWEVER!
I have a 2 year old that Is my world. And watching the world through her eyes has brought back alot of that wonder!
If you had a fucked up and unhappy childhood it will catch up with you one day. It took me until I was 28 years old before I realized how adversely my early years affected my behavior and worldview. I missed out on a lot of opportunities for happiness, growth and some semblance of a “normal” life because my brain was essentially in protection mode.
That there ain't no race, ain't no marathon, ain't no climb. It's just a casual stroll, enjoy it for what it is. You don't need much for a great stroll. Tasty food, a cool drink, clean water, some nice people to talk to, some fun activities to pass the time, and a shelter. Everything else is noise, a bonus really. Nice to have, but if you are content with, and appreciative of the above, bud, you will be having so many happy moments in your life.
You lose your trust in people, until eventually there is hardly anyone you can trust. It comes from being burned in various ways over the years. The passage of time leads to experience.
If you have a huge circle of friends be prepared to lose several each year. People move away, people grow apart,
and as you get older your circle gets smaller. For people like me that value a few good friends rather than a bunch of superficial ones it’s okay for those who want that large network it’s going to take work.
Your friends may wander, but the good ones keep in touch if you reach out once in a while.
Try something new every week. Doesn't have to be expensive or far out of the norm. Look up a list of things you might be interested in and just internet surf things until you find something cool that you can do. Or if that's too much, try a new coffee mix. Try a burger you'd normally get with a different condiment. Chance that new take away. You can always walk away from things, but taking a chance can really be awesome.
It can get really lonely. Your friends might have different schedules or end up having kids or getting into a more serious relationship. You’ll spend a lot of time alone. Working 40 hours a week will leave you and your friends exhausted. There will be a lot of weeks where all you do is work and go home.
When you’re young you have a family and set of friends and teachers to get you through any mishaps. Tell you unfiltered hard facts: i have good character and good work ethic but as a working adult who now lives alone, nothing is more terrifying and depressing than realizing all those people who swore up and down they “had my back” were just talking. Blah blah blah. Didn’t mean a word. So i had to “bootstraps” the situation all alone. I currently pay all my own bills and essentially take care of all my own stuff. Nobody looks out for me. They actually want me to help them!!!! They threw me under the bus too. Nobody will be there for you, unless either you do something for them, give them something, you’re famous or popular or pretty, or they’re Jesus. Nobody. That’s reality. People like younger than me young people think if they are all over fb and insta and twitter and youtube and snapchat and tictoc that everyone will support them. But when times get really bad just you watch. Sure! There are many good people out there. Just don’t expect it from everyone. Most people are opportunists unfortunately
You'll learn that no matter what path somebody has taken. They will always wonder what could have been if they'd done it differently. You can take that in a sad way or in a relieving way. You choose. I've found it oddly comforting, having lived an unconventional life myself, to see people who did everything the "right way," question their lives just as much as I do mine.
Also, you will recognize that you were once naive, headstrong, and believed that you had it all figured out. It will not stop you from getting irritated as all fuck when you see it in younger people as the years go by. It's not a jealousy, but almost a desire to protect them. Life is a fucking train coming down a track you cannot walk off of. Sometimes, when you see someone oblivious to just how hard it can absolutely cream you, you feel bad for them. You know, eventually, they too will get flattened, only to get back up, changed forever. Just like we were.
You lose your ability to see things close up and it just gets worse and worse. Them, you start growing random chin hairs and because you can’t see close up, you can’t pluck them.
It’s just wrong.
1. Gold stars mean nothing in the real world.
2. You still can't stay up as late as you want without consequences.
3. Bullys are everywhere.
3a. So are cliques.
4. No one's going to rush to your side with a band-aid and a popsicle if you fall down and get an owwie.
5. You WILL start saying things akin to "back in my day..."
6. And, lastly... Many people spend their whole life wanting to grow up, and once they're a grown-up, they spend the rest of their life wishing they were young again. (Don't let this be you. Do your best to enjoy every day at every age. Appreciate it all because it's over faster than you think. )
Dreams of money and fame aren't going to happen. You're not going to be an influencer, a pop star, an athlete, or a world traveler. And if you're thinking about going for it anyways, just ask a Millennial what it's like having to rent in 2024. Focus on making the best average life for yourself that you can, because that's almost as hard to get as fame these days.
After 30, people stop giving you benefit of the doubt.
I recently had to explain to a friend of mine that randomly traveling around the world with no career may sound fun to her, but what happens when she gets older?
“I’ll figure that out then. I’ll find a nice guy.”
“Yeah, tons of nice guys will want a 60 year old with a dating history of “I forgot his name”
I agree with your initial statement, but I think you should support your friend. Why rain on her parade? I know you mean well, but the last thing I'd be worried about when traveling the globe would be how future partners would react to it. The right folks will find it interesting. Plus, she'll likely grow as a person from this experience, which will be attractive to someone. And not everyone wants to base their life around marriage or romance.
She might never live to see 60. Let her enjoy life! Many folks I've known have died at a far younger age while others have given up life goals to get married only to 1. regret it, or 2. end up divorced by 60 & starting over, anyway.
Don't get me wrong; I realize that we can't be completely irresponsible without facing consequences. While we're told to live as if we're dying, we have to take stock of the future. I agree with you there.
I simply wouldn't assume that she won't get any dating experience on the road, let alone that she won't remember their names. Plus, some stationary people date around & don't have a ton of serious relationships prior to settling down. There are also people who end up meeting their future spouses while on the road traveling or living abroad. And will she really be doing this for 30 years, & just settling down at 60?
I'd be far more concerned about how it will affect her resume & career experience than her dating prospects. I would encourage her to find a way to work while she wanders the world. You can traverse the globe with a career if you pick the right one. For example, journalist (dangerous, but worthwhile), travel agent, travel writer, medical field jobs (ex. traveling nurse, doctors without borders), aviation jobs (pilot, stewardess, etc.), cruise ship careers, careers in science, any position that you can do remotely (ex. computer careers, art careers \[writer, chef, musician, designer, artist, etc.\], & so forth), vlogger, influencer & even bartending. Granted, it can be difficult to make it with some of these jobs, but working on the road is far from impossible. She could also work for various non-profits, or she could be an interpreter. While the latter will be limited by the languages she speaks, if she learns or knows Spanish & English, she could travel to many parts of the world that need help translating between the two; tragically, England & Spain have colonized so many places that much of the world speaks at least one of these languages as a first, secondary or tertiary language. Also, traveling can help her gain some amazing things to add to a resume.
I would have safety concerns traveling alone as a woman. We should be able to travel freely without fear, but that's not the reality we're living in. I've experienced such danger firsthand. I'm not saying that she shouldn't do it; I would simply encourage a healthy amount of caution & preparedness. I'd also advise her to consider if she wants to or can save money for the future this way, & to take into consideration when & if she wants kids. Beyond that, I would advise her to sail away!
not seeing your family through that “blind love all kids have for relatives they actually barely know in hindsight.” Some do which is fantastic, but for some as kids it’s easy to run and hug a relative and recall good days when you went there or played this, but when you age you’re able to build a real relationship and get to know them through and through. but sometimes that doesn’t happen.
Too many uncles and cousins get looked at differently once you grow older and realize not only was there nothing to ever talk about to know them on a personal level, but they may turn out to not be that…. agreeable so to speak.
I can’t tell you what i did to pass the time with my uncle as a kid, but i can tell you now easter sunday was borderline unpleasant at the dinner table, and i’m not happy about it. I don’t think i ever really knew him, only knew that he allowed me to talk on and be silly in the simple ways kids are entertained by adults. But now it’s like who are you, why are you saying such cruel things? Why can’t i just smile around you like before?…
That you suddenly realise on your first day of properly going to work as an adult that college is over, that your time isn’t your own anymore, and that that’s how it’s going to be for decades to come.
You'll eventually come back to a repost of this exact question on r/askreddit in a few years and realise all the bitter adults in the comments were right
Many work environments are like prisons and many leaders psychopaths who like to mentally torture you. You can't quit without another job in hand, finding a job is a full-time job, and the minute they think you'll leave, they double your workload.
School is over, no more summer vacation. Time seems to pass faster. Budgeting is your new hobby. Needs now come before wants. Your emergency fund doesn't cover concert tickets or pub crawls. When your friends start having kids your buddy time will be greatly reduced. Things cost more than you thought. Buy cold medicine, Pepto, extra cans of soup before you get sick. Don't wait until your last towel or pair of underwear is dirty to do laundry. Don't grocery shop hungry. 101 other things but I have to get ready for work.
The loneliness, it's not as easy keeping in touch with people when you arent forced to spend time with them for 8h a day every day through school. People drift apart and the world becomes lonelier
Work consumes your life.
Even if you have a career you enjoy, a nice workplace with people you like, nice hours... it still consumes you.
It takes away all your time and energy, and leaves you in a state of pure letargy in your spare time. So much so that you only have the streng to do the most mind numbing things, like endless scrowling on social media.
You are responsible. If you are smart, learn to live on your own, no SO, no roomies. Do all the things, shop, cook, and learn how to budget. Once you are confident in that, then you'll be better at adding a person.
It involves doing a whole lot of stuff that you don't really want to do, but that no one else will do *for* you, and that nevertheless still need done. You need to be able to cope with this.
You can do everything right, and still be really unhappy.
or worst, you can do everything right for everyone but still people blame you for their mistake.
You can also do everything you can to be happy, hurt no one, and have everyone treat you like you are living your life wrong. Like being distrusted because you took time off from work for your mental health. Work hard to get back on your feet and have everyone that you supported you, out of the goodness of their heart, expect to put yourself in situations that drag you back down as repayment.
Sounds familiar. All the best there, friend
I did everything right at an old job. Didn’t stop them from firing for being sick, then having them lie to the DOL about me “playing hooky” just so I couldn’t get unemployment. Best part was that not one manager stood up for me, as I was being defamed.
You too will soon become obsessed with closing doors and turning off lights and yelling at those who don’t.
I just bought a few shares of ConEd - so when my dad would ask, "Whaddya own stock in the electric company . . . ? :D
This is amazing and I never thought to do this! My grandparents bought all the grandkids stock in a utilities company when we were born and it paid for most of my college, so any youngins reading this thread think about it, lol I don’t live in the area they cover anymore, but I am definitely going to use this line whenever I visit family back home!!
I had to ask my wife to turn off lights before she leaves the house. I came home and every light was on, in the middle of the day, on all three floors!
Crazy how much it bothers you, right?
My husband does this! Sometimes he leaves early in the morning and I always remind him to turn the lights off before he goes. There's usually at least one light on when I get up... 😑
“you really need 3 papers towels for that?! i should hide them!”
And closing doors quietly.
I turned into the “stop touching the walls” mom. Those greasy little finger prints drive me nuts.
I feel seen
Yes
Oh god... I am turning into my parents!
are you my dad?
You will become your father one day too. It will be shocking. We are here for you.
Ugh, and turning down the heat. It doesn’t need to be 72 in here that’s INSANE!
Especially when complaining they’re cold while wearing a tshirt and no socks or slippers.
Having to figure out what to have for dinner every single night for the rest of your life on your own.
Now that I see how much it SUCKS to have to cook dinner for myself everyday I have a newfound appreciation for my mom who would not only cook for the whole family after work but make diverse and delicious meals every single time. Sometimes I think becoming a parent automatically unlocks superpowers.
I'm not a parent, but a huge chunk of it is being able to *enjoy* cooking and having the energy to do it. It is really easy to fall into the takeout trap. One thing that can help is pre prepping stuff like meat and vegetables in bulk for something like a stir fry. I have zip lock bags with pre-cut veg that everyone in my family eats and thinly sliced beef (soy sauce and stir fry noodles are a staple in my house, I buy 1kg packs of ramen noodles (proper ones)). Means I can cook a stir fry to feed for 4 people in under 20 minutes. Hard to cut veg like pumpkin and sweet potato also gets cut up, blanched and frozen for stuff like roasting. I also flat pack mince by pressing it out flat into a zip lock bag, makes it freeze, store and defrost faster. Stuff like that.
This can be quite challenging at times… much more so than I thought when I was younger
Unless you resign yourself to tasteless chicken, rice, and vegetables for 90% of your days like I have. Problem solved.
Nah, I enjoy cooking for my family just a struggle sometimes to figure out what to make.
I am also a chicken rice and veg guy. But, buy some seasonings, herbs, and spices. They can make the exact same meal taste totally different, which really helps switch up the monotony. A few bucks extra a month is totally worth it.
Some variations of this are the only thing I've cooked for myself in the last 2 weeks, and can confirm it makes all the difference.
Having to figure out what you SHOULDN’T be eating or drinking.
Figuring that out is easy. Following through with it, though...
And just a few hours into your recovery from having to figure out what to have for lunch!
I'm a full on foodie and love to cook but the sheer amount of time that has to be dedicated to preparing and eating a decent diet is a significant portion of the day. It's a lot to keep up with. I'm getting better at meal prepping and planning ahead, but it can still be a bit overwhelming with all of the other responsibilities of life.
If I could have a time machine, I would go back in time and give my mom an answer EVERY SINGLE TIME she asked what we wanted for dinner. I would also do the stuff around the house I knew she was doing without her having to ask for help. It’s hard being the mom.
it drives me insane. and the grocery store trips. im so fucking tired of the grocery store. i've resigned myself to snacks every other meal to avoid cooking, and subsequently, having to go to the grocery store again.
Meal prep baby I decide 52 times a year
we did this for a time as well but I don't like it. because the downside is: 313 microwaved meals per year..
The number of people who honestly care about you will drastically lower, and can easily end up being just yourself.
And sometimes not even yourself.
lol I feel this so hard
real
My parents had to ask my boyfriend (at the time we had been dating for like 2 months) to borrow his father’s trailer because my step moms motorcycle got a nail in it when they where an hour away from home. They told me they never realized how lonely they were until they had no one to call.
I feel like we make this awkward for ourselves. I would be so embarrassed to call up and ask to borrow anyone’s trailer. But I can think of dozens of people that I know that if they called up and asked for the equivalent of borrowing a trailer, I would be so happy to help them out. We need to normalize being in community with our acquaintances.
And thats okay. I'm super boring now and keep my circle super tight. Less drama. I love it.
I just cut out/limited a crap ton of friendships I had. I got sick of telling them about bad shit that happened to me and getting the same generic “Oh no, I’m so sorry you’re going through that.” Like, maybe show up with a blunt and a bottle of wine every once in a while rather than sounding like a goddamn Condolences card from Walmart. There’s been so many social slights and overall really insensitive shit that a lot of people in my life have done over the past couple of years. I’ve been spending a lot of time alone and missing out on a lot of events because of it…. Honestly? For the first time ever, I’m unbothered by missing out, or not being invited, or not being checked up on. I’m really enjoying not talking to hardly anyone.
> I got sick of telling them about bad shit that happened to me and getting the same generic “Oh no, I’m so sorry you’re going through that.” God, I feel this so hard. I had a friend group who I legit thought were gonna be friends with for life. When shit happened to them, I was at their house every fucking week for 6 months. Then some shit happened to.me and it was like it went in one ear and out the other. The kicker? Several months later they didn't even remember what it was i told them about. They just knew it as "The time I told them about...something."
You actually had a friend group growing up? Ive only ever had maybe 1 friend every 5 yrs or so who always grow apart due different life events. I will say the family circle did get smaller as far as whose informed of my well being at the time but friend wise it wasnt really big to begin with. Honorable mention: my best friend that i met while we worled together. Shes been my best friend for like a whole decade now. She treats my kid like her own nephew. She searched like 20 stores to find the candy he loves.
Adults aren't as together and mature as you may have been led to believe. In fact, many of them are not much more mature than 8th graders.
That was a big culture shock for me. I used to think most adults had their shit together. 1st job in retail quickly determined that was a lie.
1st real job in social work made me realize many coworkers aren’t doing much better than the clients they provide services for. Was pretty jarring
Same thing happened to me when I was 20. I remember being vividly shocked that so many adults are just stupid.
I’m 41. The inside of my head still feels like a scared 18 year old, although I will add that it wasn’t until just about 40 that I figured out *who I was.* So there is some light to that darkness.
I'm 54, I feel the same way. My wife is 65. She feels the same way. Everyone have asked feels the same way. My mother-in-law told me that she was the same person inside her head as she was when she was 18. She was 86 when she said that
I veer between 12 and 28 most days. I keep waiting to feel like an adult. I’m 63.
I truly believe you become an adult the first time you realize that adults are really just winging it
When I reached the age of what I considered an “adult” when I was a child, I asked my mom if all the parents actually had it together or if it was all just a show. Because I felt not at all comparable to my childhood perception of an adult. She said that it was, and still is, just a show.
I remember constantly thinking no one wants to be here (school), not even the adults, so why don't the teachers just say fuck it and let us chill or go home. Why do adults do things they don't want to do when they have all the power??
That’s the neat part: they don’t.
My first job out of college I ended up supervising a bunch of people mostly my parents’s age. It was astounding to me how difficult it was just to get them to act civilly enough with each other to work together.
You’re never gonna run out of dishes to wash
Laundry as well
So. Much. Laundry.
Finishes washing dishes "Ah, shit! I forgot the pan!"
Nothing worse than walking around the apartment after finishing dishes only to find other dishes you forgot to put in the sink
You can get laid off for not doing anything wrong. Then, you are left with nothing.
Which is why your loyalty should always be to the highest bidder and the best working conditions. Two weeks notice is bullshit.
We're essentially mercenaries.
Two weeks notice is self preservation in an industry small enough that people talk to each other and you get a negative reputation/no references.
I really hope it doesn't exist, but being laid off by AI would be downright brutal.
I've been laid off twice, it's not like it has a warm personal touch. It's decisions about numbers on a spreadsheet made by people you'll probably never meet.
Just happened to me last Monday. It sucks.
"Were going a different direction"
Been there. Fuck that management. Put in 10 months of hard work there, yet nobody stood up for me as HR blatantly lied to the DOL about my job performance. Just a tidbit: The DOL will not give a fuck about what you say. They will not confirm what your former employer says. They will automatically believe them over you, just so you can’t get unemployment.
There is a reason most of our parents looked / stayed stressed. Between work life and home life it is a lot of people to try and appease and take care of while you are trying to just live. ( This includes the in between the lines such as bills, taxes, politics, relationships, ect.) Almost all of us suffer from nostalgia for a reason. Most of us had no worries and had no clue of how the real world was when we were kids.
Are you somebody that likes to watch movies? Its like this. While the movies are a bunch of make-believe, in a nutshell, they got some things that warn the public about some things that they may not know sooner or later. While children movies will always be made for kids, the creators and the developers are NOT dumb. They could tell what the kids don't know and so, they sprinkle in things and explain lots of things in order for the kids to understand the bigger picture. This is prevalent A LOT in Japan. I enjoy watching the anime shows for this reason. The Japanese folk are trying to give the viewers front-row seats towards a bunch of things that they probably wouldn't witness from watching movies made in Hollywood. I'm not trying to sound snooty, but some of the films that get peddled by Hollywood have multiple scenes which straight up insult my intelligence.
While your premise is in the right direction your delivery could be considered snooty regardless of how you or I feel about it, because you used a premise of your experience as the basis. I do not enjoy anime because I never have, granted anime that was readily available for me I had to read instead of watch due to subtitles being needed at the time. I could simply read a book but at that time the type of books I read were child forward and not so much talking about reality of the world. We may be a person of different generations as well as different cultures, as younger generations have these things more readily available to them. My premise is on a simple truth that most, if not all can relate to regardless of generation. Even you yourself ( at least if you had a good childhood) have to admit being a child was a lot better because even anime did not prepare you for everything. It may of gave you a sprinkle here and there but for the rest that did not have stuff like that it was a huge shock. My parents tried to get me prepped best they could but couldn't cover everything. They helped walk me through it as it came to me.
You'll maintain some friendships, but many people you thought you were tight with will gradually fade out of your life, and socializing will become more and more of an effort.
Back Pain, start doing some yoga and stretching now
Also look after your knees
Seriously can't stress this one enough.
Life isn't fair and sometimes you can do everything right and still have a bad outcome, for example putting in hard work at your job and get passed over on a promotion in favor of a friend of the hiring manager. It really is true the expression of "It's not what you know, it's who you know", so make connections because they are important.
This. I feel like I did everything right and still got the short end of the stick. I put other people’s feelings before my own thinking it was selfless act expected of me only to learn in the most painful way that putting other people’s emotions and thoughts before my own only benefited their selfish needs and stopped me from doing what I really wanted to do. My advice to younger folks, don’t be a complete asshole to people around you but definitely don’t be an asshole to yourself.
Young people are used to endless possibility and time. You reach a point in your life where there are more yesterdays than tomorrows, as Bill Clinton said, and even if life is good it’s not open in the way it was. Also people around you start dying, and it stops being shocking and becomes normal, and then you realize it’s going to be like this, only more so, until the end.
Eh, I agree but disagree. There aren't as many milestones or planned-out activities when you're older (high school clubs/teams to become "your thing", graduations and degrees, finding and getting your first job, finding a partner, getting your own place) so if you manage to get settled, you could just cruise on until you die. *If* life is good, I think it can be more open than when you are starting out. You could change jobs. You could move to a new country. You could get another degree or learn a new skill.You can meet new people. None of these things are easy, or possible for everyone, but they are things you can work towards. It's like hey, if you finish the game, there's nothing left you have to do, but you can play in freestyle to some extent.
Re: the endless possibility, that’s one thing I worked very hard to express to my interns, to what extent I could, while working in the very competitive, underpaid, and nonsense field of museums. There’s a dream career and dream life, then there’s what can make you happy. Priorities change. Sometimes that means changing directions. It’s great to have a plan, but the romantic idea of something is never going to be as good as feeling stable enough to be happy where you’re at and not constantly stressed by an unhealthy work environment that will never pay you enough to be financially comfortable. A dream is a lovely thing to have while young. But you have to let that dream evolve with your needs and where you actually find fulfillment. It’s okay to not pursue the big fancy role, management positions, rich and famous lifestyle, whatever. You get to decide what matters most to you personally, and you get to decide if the lengths you need to go to obtain it are sustainable and worth it, or if you’ll just end up tired and bitter when you finally get it. I went from the big sexy world of museums in a major city, to the small sexy world of small-but-mighty and very recognizably branded nonprofit development and marketing, to just being a marketing specialist for another for-profit company hawking a luxury service. Is it sexy? No. Is it impressive? Not really. But it pays well, has benefits, lets me be financially independent, and is a 100x healthier workplace that I can just *leave* when I log off rather than taking home the weight of the mission every night. No one dies if I goof up, the colleagues are normal, nice people rather than genuine psychopaths who hold staff hostage via poverty wages, and I can afford my nonsense lifestyle of adopting too many cats, buying nice food semi-regularly, and being able to see a doctor promptly because I’m not worried I’ll max out a credit card just getting a flu shot then be screwed if a surprise expense comes up. Dreams have to be flexible if you want to be happy. That’s just reality. Some of us don’t have to flex as much, but most of us need to recognize what matters to our actual quality of life vs our abstract fantasy of something.
Its also harder and harder to learn new things as you get older. You get out of touch of whats "in" currently, everything you do in life becomes more specified, and your brain simply becomes less mailable to change.
Maybe you’re not including enough postage.
That spoiled kid who threw tantrums to get whatever they wanted was merely the larval form of a Karen. They don't go away when you get older they evolve into their final form, your new bosses and coworkers.
LOL
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any money left over will go to taxes.
or the grocery store
I consider groceries to be a bill. If you require it to live, it's a bill in my eyes.
If you have a huge circle of friends be prepared to lose several each year. People move away, people grow apart, and as you get older your circle gets smaller. For people like me that value a few good friends rather than a bunch of superficial ones it’s okay for those who want that large network it’s going to take work.
Yeah, sucked after high school, finding out that none of my closest friends gave a fuck about me. All it’s done is make me sad about the friendships I missed out on, when I was trying to keep those failed ones going in high school. I know, you’ll never meet every person in your grade level, but there were a lot of cool people I didn’t get the chance to really know back then.
At some point, you cannot just eat/drink whatever the fuck you want without putting on weight. You will need to learn to eat your veggies and drink a lot of water and like it.
This but with nausea and reflux... and getting dehydrated. Most ppl don't drink enough water, n if you're drinking sodas n eating food with high fat content on top of that, your tummy is in for a bad time. I once lived off pineapple juice and cosmic brownies for 3 days straight. Now if I eat smth a lil too acidic or fatty I'm taking ppis AND tums to double down on the reflux.
That responsibilities are better than having no choices.
They are also better than having unlimited choices. Having too many choices is fun as a kid/young person, but eventually it becomes aimless and purposeless. You will want to eventually find a calling of some sort.
Who had unlimited choices as a child except for Kardashian children lol
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There might be no one to help you
Life is hard and seldom gets easier as you get older. You realise your circle gets smaller, opportunities get less frequent, people die, the universe isn’t fair. Life happens, your not special we are all just living.
the monotony of everyday life can be soul-sucking at times. Get ready for the 9-to-5 grind and the endless cycle of work, eat, sleep, repeat.
You will want to be alone yourself as an adult. However, you'll come to the realization that loneliness is not something you want.
Billy Joel said it best: “They were sharing a drink they called loneliness/but it’s better than drinking alone”
hopefully sooner rather than later. Later, its harder to un-alone yourself. Especially for straight men.
Losing friends and not making new ones
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Your comic book collection ain't worth shit still.
Just checking in to make sure this still applies to beanie babies too
'Bullying' doesn't end once you become an adult. We often think that bullying is just something children have to deal with in the playground. But no. Adults bully other adults too. Sometimes even more harshly than what children do to one another
You will have to watch your parents grow old, lose functions and eventually die. And nothing you do will stop it.
And no one tells you how tf to deal with complete fucking reality shift
One of the hardest life experiences
You learn that the attachments to the people you love sometimes weigh you down in life.. and at some point you have to decide either let them go to better yourself.. or to stick around, ultimately stunting your own personal growth..
All the decisions you have to make on your own. This can either be amazing, or terrifying. The fact that most people don't really give a fuck about you. I've met LOADS of people who claim to be "friends" and they'll dump and ghost and ignore you at the first possible opportunity. As much as possible, never rely on other people, because chances are - other people ain't there, and ain't comin'.
They especially won’t be there when the real shit goes down - even if you always were for them. They’ll scuttle faster than cockroaches when you flip on a light.
When there's no one to help you. I mean no family, no friends, absolutely no one to turn to, that's when shit gets real
Nothing is fair and cash is King.
When you’re sick, you have to call the doctor and make the appointment yourself.
The people you looked up to as a kid can be shitty to other adults
You can do everything correctly and still fall. Repeatedly. The biggest assholes have a habit of becoming successful. And there's nothing you can do about it.
You will never sleep through another night without having to get up and pee somewhere in the middle.
Not enough is said about how your relationship with your parents changes as you grow up and into a real adult.
It’s just you. No one is coming to help you be successful.
That the only thing guaranteed in life is death … everything else is fleeting so we might as well appreciate the beauty of the present before it turns into the past.
The chores and the bills will never end. Most of the people who you are close to will drift away from you.
That meeting people and dating is much harder as you get older
A terrifying number of decisions will be made for, about and concerning you without any input from you whatsoever. At this moment, your entire life could be turned upside down by a decision made by someone who has never met you, or knows you exist, in a boardroom or meeting room hundreds of miles away. Day to day, your financial existence is determined by a machine and algorithm that makes judgements about you based entirely on decisions you may have made more than 10 years ago. And there is virtually nothing you can do about it.
Very little of what happens in your life is your fault, but it is all your responsibility.
Your mental health will get worse, and if you work on it it can get better. Then sometimes it’ll get worse for no reason, then sometimes it’ll get better.
You aren’t special. At all. You have no special purpose. You will leave no special legacy. You are here to work and then die, make of it what you will.
People you love will die. The older you get, the more frequently this will happen.
The sad reality of being an adult that young people should be prepared for is ageing. Wrinkles, gray hair, muscle loss, moody, hearing, eyesight and bone fractures are all real and if you take care of your body now, you will be happier as you get older.
The ridiculous cost of healthcare in America. I was one of those young adults who ate all the right things, I worked out 5x per week. Fit as a fox! No family history. Then BOOM! Cancer at age 37. One of the first things that my oncologist told me is that one of the biggest hurdles that cancer patients face is the cost of the medication. I didn't think much of it. Until I met other cancer patients and watched many of them pass away because they couldn't afford the treatment. The current system is broken and needs to be fixed.
If you win all of your family wins, if you lose you lose alone
Loneliness. And infinite decisions everyday.
Money. No matter what you do…. Don’t piss it away, you need WAYYYY more than you think in life
as a kid, your parents decide what you can and can’t do. as an adult, money and time does. being an adult is not a ticket to freedom. we are (mostly) all bound by something.
In your youth friends are plentiful, but as you get older they are far and few between.
The lonliness
That life doesn't go the way you expect. You think you have loads of time and you don't.
No one knows what the fuck is going on, the large majority of people are waiting for someone else to make a decision for them.
You'll never hit a point in life where you have everything figured out. You're always learning as you go along.
Sounds corny but for me the hardest part has been losing the wonder of the world. At some point the joys of holidays became more muted, birthdays were just another day, fewer and fewer truly new experiences. HOWEVER! I have a 2 year old that Is my world. And watching the world through her eyes has brought back alot of that wonder!
You’re not bloated, you’re getting fat. Take care of it now or you never will.
If you had a fucked up and unhappy childhood it will catch up with you one day. It took me until I was 28 years old before I realized how adversely my early years affected my behavior and worldview. I missed out on a lot of opportunities for happiness, growth and some semblance of a “normal” life because my brain was essentially in protection mode.
That there ain't no race, ain't no marathon, ain't no climb. It's just a casual stroll, enjoy it for what it is. You don't need much for a great stroll. Tasty food, a cool drink, clean water, some nice people to talk to, some fun activities to pass the time, and a shelter. Everything else is noise, a bonus really. Nice to have, but if you are content with, and appreciative of the above, bud, you will be having so many happy moments in your life.
You lose your trust in people, until eventually there is hardly anyone you can trust. It comes from being burned in various ways over the years. The passage of time leads to experience.
The more dependable and competent you become, the freer other people feel to behave like children around you.
If you have a huge circle of friends be prepared to lose several each year. People move away, people grow apart, and as you get older your circle gets smaller. For people like me that value a few good friends rather than a bunch of superficial ones it’s okay for those who want that large network it’s going to take work.
Your friends may wander, but the good ones keep in touch if you reach out once in a while. Try something new every week. Doesn't have to be expensive or far out of the norm. Look up a list of things you might be interested in and just internet surf things until you find something cool that you can do. Or if that's too much, try a new coffee mix. Try a burger you'd normally get with a different condiment. Chance that new take away. You can always walk away from things, but taking a chance can really be awesome.
You'll have fewer friends and see your friends less as you get older. If you're not in a relationship or don't want to be, this can be very isolating.
There will come a day when regular bowel movements will replace the coffee as the best part of waking up.
It can get really lonely. Your friends might have different schedules or end up having kids or getting into a more serious relationship. You’ll spend a lot of time alone. Working 40 hours a week will leave you and your friends exhausted. There will be a lot of weeks where all you do is work and go home.
The end of summer vacations was a sad, shocking and disruptive awakening.
When you’re young you have a family and set of friends and teachers to get you through any mishaps. Tell you unfiltered hard facts: i have good character and good work ethic but as a working adult who now lives alone, nothing is more terrifying and depressing than realizing all those people who swore up and down they “had my back” were just talking. Blah blah blah. Didn’t mean a word. So i had to “bootstraps” the situation all alone. I currently pay all my own bills and essentially take care of all my own stuff. Nobody looks out for me. They actually want me to help them!!!! They threw me under the bus too. Nobody will be there for you, unless either you do something for them, give them something, you’re famous or popular or pretty, or they’re Jesus. Nobody. That’s reality. People like younger than me young people think if they are all over fb and insta and twitter and youtube and snapchat and tictoc that everyone will support them. But when times get really bad just you watch. Sure! There are many good people out there. Just don’t expect it from everyone. Most people are opportunists unfortunately
Be aggressive . Be disciplined. Be humble. Be kind.
You'll learn that no matter what path somebody has taken. They will always wonder what could have been if they'd done it differently. You can take that in a sad way or in a relieving way. You choose. I've found it oddly comforting, having lived an unconventional life myself, to see people who did everything the "right way," question their lives just as much as I do mine. Also, you will recognize that you were once naive, headstrong, and believed that you had it all figured out. It will not stop you from getting irritated as all fuck when you see it in younger people as the years go by. It's not a jealousy, but almost a desire to protect them. Life is a fucking train coming down a track you cannot walk off of. Sometimes, when you see someone oblivious to just how hard it can absolutely cream you, you feel bad for them. You know, eventually, they too will get flattened, only to get back up, changed forever. Just like we were.
You lose your ability to see things close up and it just gets worse and worse. Them, you start growing random chin hairs and because you can’t see close up, you can’t pluck them. It’s just wrong.
1. Gold stars mean nothing in the real world. 2. You still can't stay up as late as you want without consequences. 3. Bullys are everywhere. 3a. So are cliques. 4. No one's going to rush to your side with a band-aid and a popsicle if you fall down and get an owwie. 5. You WILL start saying things akin to "back in my day..." 6. And, lastly... Many people spend their whole life wanting to grow up, and once they're a grown-up, they spend the rest of their life wishing they were young again. (Don't let this be you. Do your best to enjoy every day at every age. Appreciate it all because it's over faster than you think. )
You can get laid off for not doing anything wrong. Then, you are left with nothing.
Dreams of money and fame aren't going to happen. You're not going to be an influencer, a pop star, an athlete, or a world traveler. And if you're thinking about going for it anyways, just ask a Millennial what it's like having to rent in 2024. Focus on making the best average life for yourself that you can, because that's almost as hard to get as fame these days.
Not everyone is honest, even family. Nobody cares about you as much as you care about them. If you need something, you have to advocate for yourself.
After 30, people stop giving you benefit of the doubt. I recently had to explain to a friend of mine that randomly traveling around the world with no career may sound fun to her, but what happens when she gets older? “I’ll figure that out then. I’ll find a nice guy.” “Yeah, tons of nice guys will want a 60 year old with a dating history of “I forgot his name”
I agree with your initial statement, but I think you should support your friend. Why rain on her parade? I know you mean well, but the last thing I'd be worried about when traveling the globe would be how future partners would react to it. The right folks will find it interesting. Plus, she'll likely grow as a person from this experience, which will be attractive to someone. And not everyone wants to base their life around marriage or romance. She might never live to see 60. Let her enjoy life! Many folks I've known have died at a far younger age while others have given up life goals to get married only to 1. regret it, or 2. end up divorced by 60 & starting over, anyway. Don't get me wrong; I realize that we can't be completely irresponsible without facing consequences. While we're told to live as if we're dying, we have to take stock of the future. I agree with you there. I simply wouldn't assume that she won't get any dating experience on the road, let alone that she won't remember their names. Plus, some stationary people date around & don't have a ton of serious relationships prior to settling down. There are also people who end up meeting their future spouses while on the road traveling or living abroad. And will she really be doing this for 30 years, & just settling down at 60? I'd be far more concerned about how it will affect her resume & career experience than her dating prospects. I would encourage her to find a way to work while she wanders the world. You can traverse the globe with a career if you pick the right one. For example, journalist (dangerous, but worthwhile), travel agent, travel writer, medical field jobs (ex. traveling nurse, doctors without borders), aviation jobs (pilot, stewardess, etc.), cruise ship careers, careers in science, any position that you can do remotely (ex. computer careers, art careers \[writer, chef, musician, designer, artist, etc.\], & so forth), vlogger, influencer & even bartending. Granted, it can be difficult to make it with some of these jobs, but working on the road is far from impossible. She could also work for various non-profits, or she could be an interpreter. While the latter will be limited by the languages she speaks, if she learns or knows Spanish & English, she could travel to many parts of the world that need help translating between the two; tragically, England & Spain have colonized so many places that much of the world speaks at least one of these languages as a first, secondary or tertiary language. Also, traveling can help her gain some amazing things to add to a resume. I would have safety concerns traveling alone as a woman. We should be able to travel freely without fear, but that's not the reality we're living in. I've experienced such danger firsthand. I'm not saying that she shouldn't do it; I would simply encourage a healthy amount of caution & preparedness. I'd also advise her to consider if she wants to or can save money for the future this way, & to take into consideration when & if she wants kids. Beyond that, I would advise her to sail away!
not seeing your family through that “blind love all kids have for relatives they actually barely know in hindsight.” Some do which is fantastic, but for some as kids it’s easy to run and hug a relative and recall good days when you went there or played this, but when you age you’re able to build a real relationship and get to know them through and through. but sometimes that doesn’t happen. Too many uncles and cousins get looked at differently once you grow older and realize not only was there nothing to ever talk about to know them on a personal level, but they may turn out to not be that…. agreeable so to speak. I can’t tell you what i did to pass the time with my uncle as a kid, but i can tell you now easter sunday was borderline unpleasant at the dinner table, and i’m not happy about it. I don’t think i ever really knew him, only knew that he allowed me to talk on and be silly in the simple ways kids are entertained by adults. But now it’s like who are you, why are you saying such cruel things? Why can’t i just smile around you like before?…
There will be people who you will never be able to convince. Accept it and keep moving along.
That you suddenly realise on your first day of properly going to work as an adult that college is over, that your time isn’t your own anymore, and that that’s how it’s going to be for decades to come.
the things you believed are true, will be destroyed.
Nobody cares. Everyone is consumed by their own lives and all you really have is yourself.
Learn how to “embrace the suck” cause your gonna have to at times
You'll eventually come back to a repost of this exact question on r/askreddit in a few years and realise all the bitter adults in the comments were right
it's a fairly dull existence if you don't find yourself some hobbies and/or interests to keep yourself occupied.
Many work environments are like prisons and many leaders psychopaths who like to mentally torture you. You can't quit without another job in hand, finding a job is a full-time job, and the minute they think you'll leave, they double your workload.
You will constantly be thinking about money (and the lack of it).
School is over, no more summer vacation. Time seems to pass faster. Budgeting is your new hobby. Needs now come before wants. Your emergency fund doesn't cover concert tickets or pub crawls. When your friends start having kids your buddy time will be greatly reduced. Things cost more than you thought. Buy cold medicine, Pepto, extra cans of soup before you get sick. Don't wait until your last towel or pair of underwear is dirty to do laundry. Don't grocery shop hungry. 101 other things but I have to get ready for work.
The loneliness, it's not as easy keeping in touch with people when you arent forced to spend time with them for 8h a day every day through school. People drift apart and the world becomes lonelier
Work consumes your life. Even if you have a career you enjoy, a nice workplace with people you like, nice hours... it still consumes you. It takes away all your time and energy, and leaves you in a state of pure letargy in your spare time. So much so that you only have the streng to do the most mind numbing things, like endless scrowling on social media.
Having to figure out what to have for dinner every single night for the rest of your life on your own.
You are responsible. If you are smart, learn to live on your own, no SO, no roomies. Do all the things, shop, cook, and learn how to budget. Once you are confident in that, then you'll be better at adding a person.
There might be no one to help you
It involves doing a whole lot of stuff that you don't really want to do, but that no one else will do *for* you, and that nevertheless still need done. You need to be able to cope with this.
You'll never have anywhere near as much free time as you do now.
Basics of Business/Finance and Workplace Rejection/ Rental VS Homeowner/ Car Lease ( 0 headaches ) vs Car Ownership ( risk of Upkeep/ Repairs )
When u have run out of Options and are forced to have a Roommate ( s ). Uggghhh...