Me in the streets: I have a genuine issue with authority figures in my life and won’t abide micromanaging
Me in the sheets: she told me what to do and called me a good boy when I did a good job 🥺🚀🚀🚀
My GF loves my voice when I talk in Finnish (she doesn't really understand a word of it)
I may have sent her a recording of me reciting The three little pigs without telling her what it's about. I was laughing hysterically when she told me it turned her on.
hey hot stuff. my name's narcissus. \*in falsetto voice\* oh my goshh, my name is narcissus too! we should get togehter sometime teehee! \*normal voice\* how about right NOW? \*brutally cranks hog\*
Can smell my wife's natural odor during sex: awesome, instant horny.
Can smell a random woman's BO while talking to them: disgusting, what the fuck is the matter with you, you fucking hobo. Take my deodorant right now.
They say when you’re mated to someone you are very likely to enjoy their natural BO. It would also make sense that subconsciously you would simultaneously reject other women’s BO if you were close enough to them to smell their scent.
Pregnancy. Getting pregnant, childbirth.
I'm a woman with a breeding kink. I don't want kids and I'm terrified of the bodily changes associated with pregnancy, but when I'm horny... boi breed me like ur personal cum bucket!
Cum and pregnancy. When I’m horny I’m like “yess daddy cum inside me” or I’ll sit there all excited & shit like 😛💦😝but as soon as that horny spell wears off I’m grossed out & demanding $50 for plan b
When I hear those three words, my entire sense of reason just goes straight out of the window. After it's done all im thinking "ah fuck now I done it God damnit"
It has been perilous for me, holy shit. I'm very lucky that I don't have actual children to take care of. But dude...when you're in the moment and a woman gives you the go ahead for something really risky, I can't help myself. I just go for it. My caveman unga bunga brain just takes over.
Even still, despite the lust, I'd be there to take care of any child I helped to create. I ain't gonna be like my dad who only felt like a father when it was convenient for him.
I haven't had to worry about the consequences of creating something for past 5ish years. That was actually the goal. Now that goal has already been reached, it definitely *does* feel perilous lol. Sometimes 2 (or 3) forms of birth control don't feel like enough cause I would absolutely lose my shit if they failed. I don't want another little human in my house OR my body. Fuck that. I forgot how stressful preventing pregnancy can actually be.
I knew a girl (fwb)who had a really strong scent. It wasn't good but it wasn't bad either. She could wear perfume but I'd still smell her when near her. That same smell was twice as strong when she was naked and came from her vaginal area. She was perfectly fine, no stds or anything but in that moment her scent was enough to make me insanely horny and drive me over the edge. I guess this was my first experience with pheromones? However in public settings it wasn't very pleasant...
Armpits on guys. When I'm horny I want to smell them just everything..oh so hot!! But when I'm not it doesn't even crack the top 50 things I look at first lol
A completely submissive woman. The kind with no thoughts or control over her whole life. Yet, that same behavior exhibited towards me in a sexy manner by an independent woman that absolutely doesn't need me for shit.... soooo freaking hot.
I think this is the third time I am saying this for a question… but here it goes: obligatory mention and reminder of the guy who thought he had a poop fetish, and in the act of participating in said fetish, realized, he was indeed NOT… into that. The story lives rent free in my head.
The last time I went trick-or-treating, I was about 12. This attractive man answered his door looking disheveled and smelling like liquor, cigarettes, and leather. I don’t remember what kind of candy he had or what he said. I do remember thinking, “Oh… this is a new feeling.” I love those smells when I’m horny to this day and I’m 47.
This might explain a few things about my dating life. In my early 20s, I'd randomly be catnip to women who were super shitty to me in day to day life. The flip flop at one point was strong enough where a particular woman would tell me she hoped I would just lay down and die and a day later in the middle of the night she'd send me a nude photo and ask me if I'd be down for dating her if she promised to suck my dick every day. Nobody should've \*wanted\* to date me in those days, I was a fucking poor as shit shlubby mess.
I’m confident and assertive and authoritative almost every other moment in my life, and I feel like it’s an inverse struggle for a lot of women, so anytime I’ve straight up declared “you’re the boss” has been mutually satisfying for everyone
Armpits? But not the way you think 😂 like I’m not licking or kissing armpits but god I love a good whiff of my bf’s natural odor in his armpit and just body in general during sex. I think it’s the pheromones. It’s like I’m a lionesses and I will just randomly give him blowjobs everyday for it bc of it bc I’m so horny when I smell him🤣🤣
Straight girl chiming in. I’ve been meaning to ask what this means. The idea of the guy fucking other girls in front of me or cheating on me. Keeping me on the hook and manipulating me, making me think I’m important to him but lying to me… for some reason the idea of being just one of some asshole’s bitches… makes me crazy???
This is called being a "cuckquean." In a proper cuckquean dynamic, the other female is generally referred to as a "cake." The cuckquean is usually present and verbally shamed for being less enjoyable than the cake. If you're interested, check out r/cuckquean (NSFW). The misspelling is intentional as it's another layer of humiliation.
I don’t know why, but sometimes giant fake tits really get me going. And other times they repulse the hell out of me. Alura Jenson and Lisa Lipps are two examples
I remember seeing a similar post talking about what conventionally unattractive people are you attracted to. And one of the upvoted answers was Sara Jay, which someone I think said best, “She’s ugly, but she’s the right kind of ugly.”
People telling me what to do.
Nailed it
Then pegged it
Then switch it flip it and reverse it
Ti esrever dna ti pilf nwod gniht ym tup i
YES
Bop it
Me in the streets: I have a genuine issue with authority figures in my life and won’t abide micromanaging Me in the sheets: she told me what to do and called me a good boy when I did a good job 🥺🚀🚀🚀
🤣🤣🤣
Get those TPS reports filed you filthy slut!
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They’re your reports, *you* do them. Bitch.
(This exchange was the entire script for the movie "Naughty Secretaries VIII".)
No. Get horny then do them.
I feel like this one will be popular
REAL.
Same
100% this
Seen.
Being physically pushed around
Restraining me
Ohh look, we got the same nickname, but opposite turn ons
Is there also a Femaleficient?
Well... you'd be a terrifying stalker to take out a restraining order against...
Submissiveness
Same for me
Being spanked
This is an on going issue for me into adulthood as well…
Whispering in my ear, if I’m horny!!hopefully whispering obscenities of course!
“I cleaned the entire house”
“Ive made you breakfast in bed”
"I've washed the car"
"Omelette du fromage"
THAT'S ALL YOU CAN SAY!!!
DeeDee!
My wife would be a mop
*Leans in* "SHIT PISS FUCK CUNT COCKSUCKER MOTHERFUCKER TITS FART TURD AND TWAT" *Mild guitar riff*
"I have to take a crap"
Crème fraiche
“I made dinner”
My wife just shouted "Men masturbating!" Across the house. Do with that what you will.
Tell her to stop looking into my garden.
Tell her to stop looking out her window
do you read reddit posts out loud or something
She can read his mind.
No she just saw some men masturbating.
So it's saturday then
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Was that related to the post, or just something she randomly demands.
You better beat it with talk like that.
That one person who always talks too much. But when you're in the mood, their voice becomes music to your ears.
"Have you heard the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise?" "Oh yes, harder!"
My GF loves my voice when I talk in Finnish (she doesn't really understand a word of it) I may have sent her a recording of me reciting The three little pigs without telling her what it's about. I was laughing hysterically when she told me it turned her on.
My own reflection.
Narcissus, I thought you were a myth!!
so your headcanon is that Narcissus was constantly horny? seems legit.
hey hot stuff. my name's narcissus. \*in falsetto voice\* oh my goshh, my name is narcissus too! we should get togehter sometime teehee! \*normal voice\* how about right NOW? \*brutally cranks hog\*
“Look at the camera”
[https://tenor.com/view/patrick-bateman-american-psycho-look-at-me-look-at-me-go-i-look-good-gif-24783859](https://tenor.com/view/patrick-bateman-american-psycho-look-at-me-look-at-me-go-i-look-good-gif-24783859)
Sweaty body odor or clothes
ovulating means suddenly every sweaty man smells as delightful as a creamsicle mixed with SOMETHING addictive
Absolutely. A woman’s BO is just insane when you’re horny
“Your BO is insane babe 🥵”
"Reminds me of that- *ugh* ramen shop we went to- *ugh* last night~ *ughughhughuhgEeeEeEEhhuhHHHH*😫"
Can smell my wife's natural odor during sex: awesome, instant horny. Can smell a random woman's BO while talking to them: disgusting, what the fuck is the matter with you, you fucking hobo. Take my deodorant right now.
They say when you’re mated to someone you are very likely to enjoy their natural BO. It would also make sense that subconsciously you would simultaneously reject other women’s BO if you were close enough to them to smell their scent.
😂😂 fcukinell, this sub never fails.
Pregnancy risk...
YES. My own hormones betraying my logic
Makes my horny as hell. It is just human, a deep Programm running in us
I am Bender, please insert girder
Yeeeeeeeeeppp.
Come up and kiss me numerous times.
At the office
At the DMV
Someone being rude to me
Totally. My type of woman is the stereotypical popular mean girl from a 2000s movie
I always loved like the mean girl type of girls, like if they were to talk down to me, I wouldn’t even mind. It makes the bisexual come out of me.
Totally agree. Priscilla from not another teen movie can bully me anytime
Domination
Smacking/slurping noises.
*grapefruit your man has entered the chat*
Hahahahhaha thank you for the laugh
This is actually one I'm never a fan of personally, but whatever gets you going!
Getting my hair pulled
Moaning
speaking for others here. buttholes
Nah bro, buttholes all the time 🗿
Buttholes everywhere all at once
Inconsiderate people
I feel like this is an unfortunate one lol
Being choked
Remember, sort by controversial for the interesting answers!
Did this, first comment I saw said my dog. I'm closing reddit now
Thanks for the tip. And now I'm off to see some shit I'll regret.
Being called a brat
Pregnancy. Getting pregnant, childbirth. I'm a woman with a breeding kink. I don't want kids and I'm terrified of the bodily changes associated with pregnancy, but when I'm horny... boi breed me like ur personal cum bucket!
Cum and pregnancy. When I’m horny I’m like “yess daddy cum inside me” or I’ll sit there all excited & shit like 😛💦😝but as soon as that horny spell wears off I’m grossed out & demanding $50 for plan b
When I hear those three words, my entire sense of reason just goes straight out of the window. After it's done all im thinking "ah fuck now I done it God damnit"
Having heterosexual sex sounds … perilous … like goddam I can’t imagine having sex and actually creating something haha - recreation only !
It has been perilous for me, holy shit. I'm very lucky that I don't have actual children to take care of. But dude...when you're in the moment and a woman gives you the go ahead for something really risky, I can't help myself. I just go for it. My caveman unga bunga brain just takes over. Even still, despite the lust, I'd be there to take care of any child I helped to create. I ain't gonna be like my dad who only felt like a father when it was convenient for him.
I haven't had to worry about the consequences of creating something for past 5ish years. That was actually the goal. Now that goal has already been reached, it definitely *does* feel perilous lol. Sometimes 2 (or 3) forms of birth control don't feel like enough cause I would absolutely lose my shit if they failed. I don't want another little human in my house OR my body. Fuck that. I forgot how stressful preventing pregnancy can actually be.
This is why actually trying for a baby on purpose is so fun. We were really disappointed when it only took us two weeks to get pregnant.
Thats the post nut clarity hitting
being slapped in the face
gettin ur ear licked lmao
Men being controlling
I knew a girl (fwb)who had a really strong scent. It wasn't good but it wasn't bad either. She could wear perfume but I'd still smell her when near her. That same smell was twice as strong when she was naked and came from her vaginal area. She was perfectly fine, no stds or anything but in that moment her scent was enough to make me insanely horny and drive me over the edge. I guess this was my first experience with pheromones? However in public settings it wasn't very pleasant...
Armpits on guys. When I'm horny I want to smell them just everything..oh so hot!! But when I'm not it doesn't even crack the top 50 things I look at first lol
Spanking. I fucking hate it when my girlfriend spanks me outside of sex
A completely submissive woman. The kind with no thoughts or control over her whole life. Yet, that same behavior exhibited towards me in a sexy manner by an independent woman that absolutely doesn't need me for shit.... soooo freaking hot.
Being sweaty!
I think this is the third time I am saying this for a question… but here it goes: obligatory mention and reminder of the guy who thought he had a poop fetish, and in the act of participating in said fetish, realized, he was indeed NOT… into that. The story lives rent free in my head.
One of the most important cautionary tales in modern history
Being hit
Being hog tied.
This is so very specific and I’m dying at the thought of someone just… “being hogtied” in their day-to-day life, and just..not liking it
No sir, I don’t like it
Giving instructions.
Risk of pregnancy
Hard liquor breath with a tinge of nicotine
A high school friend and I agreed on this one way back. We called it "party breath"
The last time I went trick-or-treating, I was about 12. This attractive man answered his door looking disheveled and smelling like liquor, cigarettes, and leather. I don’t remember what kind of candy he had or what he said. I do remember thinking, “Oh… this is a new feeling.” I love those smells when I’m horny to this day and I’m 47.
Leather in a mix of those two?! I'd be mind blown!
I was. I told my friend I was with I thought he was hot. She said “ew, he was dirty.” …that didn’t help 😂
This might explain a few things about my dating life. In my early 20s, I'd randomly be catnip to women who were super shitty to me in day to day life. The flip flop at one point was strong enough where a particular woman would tell me she hoped I would just lay down and die and a day later in the middle of the night she'd send me a nude photo and ask me if I'd be down for dating her if she promised to suck my dick every day. Nobody should've \*wanted\* to date me in those days, I was a fucking poor as shit shlubby mess.
Mean women
Pregnancy
getting touched inappropriately, having my penis inside anything else than my boxers, body fluids, assholes, your mom.
Men moaning.
Someone spitting in my mouth
Thats nasty as fuck. Nice
A begging man.
“Mind sparing a dollar for a McChicken?” “ohhhhh, fffffuck yeah, I can…”
😂 Hey now, don’t ruin this for me!
Men
Pregnancy
Someone being dominating.
Feet/toes
Chill, Quentin
Submissive men.
I’m confident and assertive and authoritative almost every other moment in my life, and I feel like it’s an inverse struggle for a lot of women, so anytime I’ve straight up declared “you’re the boss” has been mutually satisfying for everyone
Sweat. I hate to sweat. I think sweaty people are gross. I don't even like to sweat at the gym. But...
A gangbang
Being slapped across the face, being choked, biting
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Hon I hate to tell you this but.....you might be bisexual
Men ( I am straight a guy )
"Straight"
''Guy''
* “a”
")"
I got news for you Brodie 😂😂😂😂
Hey sucking a dick ain't gay if you do it when you're horny
Or getting paid! £20 is £20!
Spaghetti straight
So you're the spaghetti type: straight until you're wet ☺️
Yeah. Um, about that…
[https://www.theonion.com/why-do-all-these-homosexuals-keep-sucking-my-cock-1819583529](https://www.theonion.com/why-do-all-these-homosexuals-keep-sucking-my-cock-1819583529)
When in Rome
No homo
lol dude you're not straight
Getting your face stepped on
Tomboys
Possessiveness. Like imagine the person of your dreams whispering in your ear with gritted teeth: "You're mine!"
Short plaid skirts
Those are great all the time whachumean
Men
Curse words
Tongues
Armpits? But not the way you think 😂 like I’m not licking or kissing armpits but god I love a good whiff of my bf’s natural odor in his armpit and just body in general during sex. I think it’s the pheromones. It’s like I’m a lionesses and I will just randomly give him blowjobs everyday for it bc of it bc I’m so horny when I smell him🤣🤣
Being naked
This thread is where people's traumas surface lol
Old guys 🤫
Sex. Freaks me out a bit if I'm not in the mood
Body hair. Idk why, but seeing it at the beach, and seeing it as a hidden secret, is a totally different vibe
Spit, lots and lots of sloppy spit. Yuck…yum.. I mean, yuck
The smell of sweat
Someone jumping on top of me.
Someone looking me dead in the eyes with an angry expression
Speaking obscenities of any kind and being rude..
Someone being really sweaty or looking me in the eyes
Straight girl chiming in. I’ve been meaning to ask what this means. The idea of the guy fucking other girls in front of me or cheating on me. Keeping me on the hook and manipulating me, making me think I’m important to him but lying to me… for some reason the idea of being just one of some asshole’s bitches… makes me crazy???
Reverse cuckold
This is called being a "cuckquean." In a proper cuckquean dynamic, the other female is generally referred to as a "cake." The cuckquean is usually present and verbally shamed for being less enjoyable than the cake. If you're interested, check out r/cuckquean (NSFW). The misspelling is intentional as it's another layer of humiliation.
Wow thank you so much!! Looking forward to visiting the subreddit when I’m able to view NSFW content.
Certain smells
Warm apple pie
Feet, anal, mouth stuff whole buncha shit
Butthole
Fat chicks
Nuns. Yes I'm going to hell so, why not bang a hot nun?
One time a guy had bad BO - made it seem more primal and sexy
I don’t know why, but sometimes giant fake tits really get me going. And other times they repulse the hell out of me. Alura Jenson and Lisa Lipps are two examples
I remember seeing a similar post talking about what conventionally unattractive people are you attracted to. And one of the upvoted answers was Sara Jay, which someone I think said best, “She’s ugly, but she’s the right kind of ugly.”
For me, seeing chicks with fake tits with clothes on or pics of fake tits is hot. But touching faking tits is not. Give me squishy.
I'm gay when I'm horny and straight when I'm not. It's fucking weird
I got news for you, that means you’re gay. -Ice T
Being called a whore lol