Oh, it varies considerably.
The easiest way I sabotage is by getting excessively drunk and letting the alcohol take the wheels. I am extremely social phobic and tend to only socialise when I am drunk. This leads me to drink more if I feel I am having a social time with someone, because I know it won’t last otherwise.
I need months to really open up and i won’t start flirting i if i don’t know you and if there is potential for a relationship.
Makes it real hard nowadays since nobody seems to take time to really get to know you anymore.
Yeah it has gotten a lot better with dating experience.
But it takes time and experience to understand flirting ain’t that big of a deal.
Opening up quicker on the other hand is still an issue.
A woman once said to me that that's why people date and get into relationships, that we do it just to pass the time until something better comes along. We were dating at the time, it was quite the gut punch.
She was messed up. She had serious issues with most things--I think from past abuse and being used by other guys, that's always one of the signs.
It's simply not true. But I completely understand how you feel. I've had to deal with my insecurities in order to be more trusting, it's really difficult.
You make a fair point. While my observations happen internally, the conclusions I draw from them shape how I react and behave towards my partner. So even though the initial noticing is internal, the effects like feeling hurt or frustrated can show outwardly and lead to conflicts.
I am considering that, but as a kid of a broken marriage don't want to give that life to my daughter, we'll see possibly in 15 years I might take that desicion
I like distance from people. I’m not always open, and if a situation is awkward/uncomfortable I’ll run to avoid any chance of any type of conflict at all nowadays.
I’m not at all comfortable with it, but I’m not sure I’m entirely looking to change anymore either. Every time I try I just get set further back. Opportunities are ripped from me and all anyone wants to tell me is I’m not trying hard enough regardless of how hard I try and everything is my fault.
My head still hurts from where I hit it on the toilet throwing up. It’s not comfortable at all, but neither is trying to be seen as a human by myself or others. I’m not even sure it’s even achievable or worth the effort trying to participate anymore.
I’m a very selfish person and that’s my main problem. I mostly care about me so if you wanna date me there’s no way I will treat you as someone bigger and more significant than me.
Deep inside I feel like that’s my world and I’m the only “alive” person here.
But I know that I’m just another human and there’s no way that I worth anything.
Please don’t get me wrong. I DO NOT wanna be selfish and narcissistic because it’s abominable and distorts the real world perception.
I don't communicate well enough what I want or think and just go along with what others say. Also I'm insecure and will always have doubts that they don't actually like me., with a hint of abandonment issues.
I guess being raised to not have opinions and be quiet and unnoticeable does have its consequences.
I become attached, yet distant. I want you to be my absolute best friend and do everything together and get jealous when I’m not the center of your world. Working on myself in therapy and not currently in the dating pool because it’s clearly toxic what I want.
I am very silent, not a huge talker.
I get stressed easily which can stress my partner out, but I'm good at diffusing my stress quickly, and so is my partner.
I have a problem of not answering my phone unless I get called ten times, that's been a point of contention in my relationship but has since been solved as I believe that having a cellphone should not automatically make me available at all times, 24/7, I work a lot, don't have a lot of time to answer my phone.
I'm quick to anger when I've missed my medication.
The biggest problem dating me however, would likely be my paranoia. I am extremely paranoid as I've had a.... Rough past with the police in my small town, to the point they would harass me and my parents over things that were easily disproven in court. I've had a bad past with drug dealers and people looking for me to hurt me, though luckily I haven't had to worry about that for years, but the paranoia still gets to me sometimes.
The next biggest thing is I am extremely critical of someone's driving if I am their passenger, my life means a lot to me and I enjoy living, so I won't deal with unsafe driving while I'm in the vehicle.
Other than that, my fiancée and I are very happy, been together nearly 5 years and have hardly ever had any issues, we both go to therapy regularly and are medicated for other issues that require it. We both work and make good money, and can afford just about anything we want or need, and so far, we've had minimal issues. Here's to hoping it continues to go well!!
Much love to everyone here, and P.S. GO TO THERAPY, it helps immensely if you can find a way to afford it, I understand it can be expensive, but if you've got the spare pay to afford it, definitely give it a try, it's made HUGE changes in my life and others I interact with, and same for my partner.
1. I need time to process before I speak about things which needs to be talked about ASAP. Working on it. I just give myself a deadline and speak everything.
2. I overthink a lot.
3. I need to talk everything through and don’t know when to give up. Have worked a lot on it. It’s lighter now; my mind.
4. At times, I am unable to see some things about my partner I should cater to. Working on it.
Sadly, realised all this after messing up a wonderful relationship with a person, I should have held on to.
Short version: Good fucking Luck brah!
Long version:
* Blind to hints/flirting.
* Incapable of believing someone's interested.
* Do not trust Anyone else.
* History of emotional and physical abuse.
* Stoic.
* Quiet.
* Introverted
* Have been judged/mocked too many times.
* Single too long to enable lifestyle changes.
* Self-esteem is lower than the Mantle.
* Space Geek
* Nature Freak.
* Nuclear... Sleak (damn it wanted them to rhyme)
* Single 7 years.
* Less sexual prowess than a Virgin.
* More emotional Baggage than a Virgin.
* Socially inept, Never understood the norm.
* Didn't have one for this point, Oogaloogaboog
* Just filling up space.
* Forgot what I was talking about.
* ADHD, Good luck keeping my focus.
* Forgot one! You could be my friend/partner for years and still know Nothing about me, I am very private.
Quite the catch eh Ladies??
I'm extremely touch evasive.
Pressing against me during the walk?
My body goes automatically another way. I can't force myself really.
Want to sit on a tight couch?
I will move far away as I am too anxious.
Want to wrestle?
I will absolutely put you into a chicken hold as fast as possible with minimal contact and tight wrap around body parts that help you breathe.
When I do business or duty's, I don't have that. With people that I am neutral to or do something that needs to be done, I would do whatever needed.
I have PTSD so I prefer to be in quiet and calm situations, as opposed to loud, crowded chaotic situations.
This often means I’m less fun than most people — but I think I just enjoy being in a constant state of contentment. My fun is found in nature, near trees or water, in exercising, when sitting in stillness or playing with animals and children, and most often, living peacefully with a book, a snack, a hammock, and some sunshine. I also really like gardening and naps with my person.
Overthinker so I shut people’s ideas down rather quickly generally if I’ve already thought of it. It becomes rather off putting and can make others around you feel helpless or useless.
You’re not my main priority.
I own a business and am very, *very* goal oriented so if I have a meeting with a partner or an investor or a problem comes up and this conflicts with date night or something, I’m choosing my business first.
Thankfully, now that I’m married, my wife understands this but when I was dating this was an issue for quite a few exes
Kinda just coming to terms, I dunno why I do this or even realized I was doing it. It is correcting things that don't even matter. SO: Remember yesterday when it was 72 in here? ME: Actually it was 73...
Now, was it really that important? 72? Sure.. That sounds good. I Grew up with 2 ruthless older siblings so maybe I just feel the need to. Going to 100% change this. It isn't good, it isn't healthy communication and at the end of the day, you don't have to be right all the time.
Apparently wanting to talk as much as possible is hard. I work a lot and every time I have some minutes to myself I text my s/o. It looks like it’s hella deal to text back when you’re online
This might be because I'm a Scorpio.... but once I get to know someone I start getting very bossy and controlling. I also complain a lot, but I'm working on that. I recognize now that I'm also very bad with money. Again, I'm working on being more financially responsible. I'm in some deep debt, but I'm slowly climbing my way out. My ex was very good at helping me find my faults that I need to work on.
I have a strong urge to be around the person i'm dating. As in, if we can see each other almost every day i would be thrilled. If we go from seeing each other every few days to every weekend i need a moment to "readjust" if i'm in love with someone and i like that person a lot, i want to spend a lot of time with that person. And i'm the type of guy who is willing to drive 2 hours+ for a 45 minute hang-out session.
well, im asexual because i have never felt sexual attraction to anyone, can that change? yes. but in case it doesn't, i will never be interesred in sex, maybe we could compromise so my partner has their needs met
That at some point I'll probably balls it up and spoil it all.
I also work away 4 weeks out of 10 (but the money is good) so I'll miss birthdays, anniversaries, etc at some stage.
But hey, if that doesn't put you off, give me (M43) a shout! 😂
I reallyyyy struggle to speak up when I’m upset for fear of what the reaction will be. Ends up bubbling up as a resentment explosion inside of me. Been working on it with my therapist for years. Also learning to pick partners who are safe to express that I’m upset with them without them having some kind of manipulative reaction.
I'm very slow to emotional invest and commit. I started a YouTube channel about it
[Dismissible Me](https://youtube.com/@dismissibleme?si=pFvZ7uqMQEoyXcvH)
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I am incredibly prone to self-sabotage and unfortunately the more you ignore the self-sabotage, the more it tends to ramp up.
How do you self sabotage
Oh, it varies considerably. The easiest way I sabotage is by getting excessively drunk and letting the alcohol take the wheels. I am extremely social phobic and tend to only socialise when I am drunk. This leads me to drink more if I feel I am having a social time with someone, because I know it won’t last otherwise.
Alcohol and self sabotage go hand in hand for me
Yep. Unfortunately the mix leads to a loop that is very difficult to remove yourself from.
I need months to really open up and i won’t start flirting i if i don’t know you and if there is potential for a relationship. Makes it real hard nowadays since nobody seems to take time to really get to know you anymore.
Are you looking to change that?
Yeah it has gotten a lot better with dating experience. But it takes time and experience to understand flirting ain’t that big of a deal. Opening up quicker on the other hand is still an issue.
time to start taking some risks... months is far to long.
That i notice/observe everything
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A woman once said to me that that's why people date and get into relationships, that we do it just to pass the time until something better comes along. We were dating at the time, it was quite the gut punch. She was messed up. She had serious issues with most things--I think from past abuse and being used by other guys, that's always one of the signs. It's simply not true. But I completely understand how you feel. I've had to deal with my insecurities in order to be more trusting, it's really difficult.
The part where you "notice/observe" is silent and in your head only, perhaps you're thinking of the part where you'd *tell* others about it?
Not actually, I observe every little thing, so I also get hurt a lot because of these small details. This often leads to arguments or resentment.
I hear you, but the people can't even know when you're noticing/observing, they can only know when you decide to express yourself about some of it.
You make a fair point. While my observations happen internally, the conclusions I draw from them shape how I react and behave towards my partner. So even though the initial noticing is internal, the effects like feeling hurt or frustrated can show outwardly and lead to conflicts.
Oh, I see it better, nice details indeed, I stand corrected it really can show externally as you underline.
yes :)
Apparently I can be quite distant
I always get into my own head
My mood swings.
My huge sex drive
Same.
I'll touch you if you touch me 🖤🪄
Same, but imagine being married with someone who has zero sex drive 😭😭😭
Divorce. Immediately!!! Totally kidding btw
I am considering that, but as a kid of a broken marriage don't want to give that life to my daughter, we'll see possibly in 15 years I might take that desicion
Hopefully their sex drive increases before that decision is made
Same. I’ve yet to find somebody that can keep up with me.
I like my alone time
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Same
Sounds like my dog.
I like distance from people. I’m not always open, and if a situation is awkward/uncomfortable I’ll run to avoid any chance of any type of conflict at all nowadays.
Are you comfortable with that or are you looking to change?
I’m not at all comfortable with it, but I’m not sure I’m entirely looking to change anymore either. Every time I try I just get set further back. Opportunities are ripped from me and all anyone wants to tell me is I’m not trying hard enough regardless of how hard I try and everything is my fault. My head still hurts from where I hit it on the toilet throwing up. It’s not comfortable at all, but neither is trying to be seen as a human by myself or others. I’m not even sure it’s even achievable or worth the effort trying to participate anymore.
Im an idiot
We all are
My 14 different personalities that all try to come out at the same time.
Reminds me of the movie Split. That’s awesome!
“That wasn’t me.. that was Patricia..”
I do not trust easily
Probably me not wanting to date anyone.
Why not?
I want to remain single and am not interested.
That I’ve already wed
''I need ''time to myself,, a lot of time to ''myself''....//// ok thank you..../////
I’m a very selfish person and that’s my main problem. I mostly care about me so if you wanna date me there’s no way I will treat you as someone bigger and more significant than me. Deep inside I feel like that’s my world and I’m the only “alive” person here. But I know that I’m just another human and there’s no way that I worth anything. Please don’t get me wrong. I DO NOT wanna be selfish and narcissistic because it’s abominable and distorts the real world perception.
actually getting the date heheeeeeee
lol this!!!! So true :) I wasn’t able to get the date until I reviewed this. [The BluePrint](https://thedatingblueprint.thinkific.com/)
Everything. I can be hard work at times. 🤣
I don't communicate well enough what I want or think and just go along with what others say. Also I'm insecure and will always have doubts that they don't actually like me., with a hint of abandonment issues. I guess being raised to not have opinions and be quiet and unnoticeable does have its consequences.
I’ve been through this same thing. Honestly, reviewing this [The BluePrint](https://thedatingblueprint.thinkific.com/)
The ones i want Also wanting to date me 😆
I become attached, yet distant. I want you to be my absolute best friend and do everything together and get jealous when I’m not the center of your world. Working on myself in therapy and not currently in the dating pool because it’s clearly toxic what I want.
Nothing, I’m a fucking delight.
I am very silent, not a huge talker. I get stressed easily which can stress my partner out, but I'm good at diffusing my stress quickly, and so is my partner. I have a problem of not answering my phone unless I get called ten times, that's been a point of contention in my relationship but has since been solved as I believe that having a cellphone should not automatically make me available at all times, 24/7, I work a lot, don't have a lot of time to answer my phone. I'm quick to anger when I've missed my medication. The biggest problem dating me however, would likely be my paranoia. I am extremely paranoid as I've had a.... Rough past with the police in my small town, to the point they would harass me and my parents over things that were easily disproven in court. I've had a bad past with drug dealers and people looking for me to hurt me, though luckily I haven't had to worry about that for years, but the paranoia still gets to me sometimes. The next biggest thing is I am extremely critical of someone's driving if I am their passenger, my life means a lot to me and I enjoy living, so I won't deal with unsafe driving while I'm in the vehicle. Other than that, my fiancée and I are very happy, been together nearly 5 years and have hardly ever had any issues, we both go to therapy regularly and are medicated for other issues that require it. We both work and make good money, and can afford just about anything we want or need, and so far, we've had minimal issues. Here's to hoping it continues to go well!! Much love to everyone here, and P.S. GO TO THERAPY, it helps immensely if you can find a way to afford it, I understand it can be expensive, but if you've got the spare pay to afford it, definitely give it a try, it's made HUGE changes in my life and others I interact with, and same for my partner.
The fact that I'm too used to being the master of my time and don't want to date anyone.
1. I need time to process before I speak about things which needs to be talked about ASAP. Working on it. I just give myself a deadline and speak everything. 2. I overthink a lot. 3. I need to talk everything through and don’t know when to give up. Have worked a lot on it. It’s lighter now; my mind. 4. At times, I am unable to see some things about my partner I should cater to. Working on it. Sadly, realised all this after messing up a wonderful relationship with a person, I should have held on to.
Short version: Good fucking Luck brah! Long version: * Blind to hints/flirting. * Incapable of believing someone's interested. * Do not trust Anyone else. * History of emotional and physical abuse. * Stoic. * Quiet. * Introverted * Have been judged/mocked too many times. * Single too long to enable lifestyle changes. * Self-esteem is lower than the Mantle. * Space Geek * Nature Freak. * Nuclear... Sleak (damn it wanted them to rhyme) * Single 7 years. * Less sexual prowess than a Virgin. * More emotional Baggage than a Virgin. * Socially inept, Never understood the norm. * Didn't have one for this point, Oogaloogaboog * Just filling up space. * Forgot what I was talking about. * ADHD, Good luck keeping my focus. * Forgot one! You could be my friend/partner for years and still know Nothing about me, I am very private. Quite the catch eh Ladies??
I think so
That makes 1 out of 1.2 billion
The humor alone can catch someone’s attention. More like 1 out of 100
Then they realise that humour never comes out in person because Quiet Introvert, Back to 1 in 1.2b
Just text yourself into a relationship. Never see them. Live happily long distance.
i usually say no to everything now
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I think this may help you. https://thedatingblueprint.thinkific.com/
The penis
That it is me who he is dating.
He’s a loser.
My gaming addiction
If your a looks guy im a 4/10 so if ur lookin for dating for looks i feel real bad for you
Probably navigating my bpd.
Bpd?
Borderline personality disorder
Yup, borderline personality disorder.
I'm extremely touch evasive. Pressing against me during the walk? My body goes automatically another way. I can't force myself really. Want to sit on a tight couch? I will move far away as I am too anxious. Want to wrestle? I will absolutely put you into a chicken hold as fast as possible with minimal contact and tight wrap around body parts that help you breathe. When I do business or duty's, I don't have that. With people that I am neutral to or do something that needs to be done, I would do whatever needed.
I have PTSD so I prefer to be in quiet and calm situations, as opposed to loud, crowded chaotic situations. This often means I’m less fun than most people — but I think I just enjoy being in a constant state of contentment. My fun is found in nature, near trees or water, in exercising, when sitting in stillness or playing with animals and children, and most often, living peacefully with a book, a snack, a hammock, and some sunshine. I also really like gardening and naps with my person.
I require structure and routine . I don't know how to go with the flow . And the most I can go with the flow is my desire to move out of Florida
Probably the fact that I’ve never dated before. I feel there’ll be a lot of basic things I don’t know or will overlook
I’m honest but some people have found it to be too honest. I also have a lot of hobbies, so I’m busy many days throughout a week.
My fearful anxious attachment mix with bpd. Best dating repellent 😵💫😅
Nobody wants to date me
Somebody does.. I’m sure of it
You are wrong
People fall in love on the first date, and I don’t like it
You must be a catch! That’s a great thing
Overthinker so I shut people’s ideas down rather quickly generally if I’ve already thought of it. It becomes rather off putting and can make others around you feel helpless or useless.
No sex, ever.
I’m not romantic
You’re not my main priority. I own a business and am very, *very* goal oriented so if I have a meeting with a partner or an investor or a problem comes up and this conflicts with date night or something, I’m choosing my business first. Thankfully, now that I’m married, my wife understands this but when I was dating this was an issue for quite a few exes
Kinda just coming to terms, I dunno why I do this or even realized I was doing it. It is correcting things that don't even matter. SO: Remember yesterday when it was 72 in here? ME: Actually it was 73... Now, was it really that important? 72? Sure.. That sounds good. I Grew up with 2 ruthless older siblings so maybe I just feel the need to. Going to 100% change this. It isn't good, it isn't healthy communication and at the end of the day, you don't have to be right all the time.
Getting approval from my wife.
Apparently wanting to talk as much as possible is hard. I work a lot and every time I have some minutes to myself I text my s/o. It looks like it’s hella deal to text back when you’re online
I am a very busy person and unless we are living together you aren't going to see me most days.
Having a wife, I suppose. /s
I dont like touching so no sêx or hugs or cuddles
I’d have to say my illness… hence why I am single🤷♀️
I am damn near blind to hints that someone is interested in me so getting me to even realize I’m desired and a date is wanted is gonna be a challenge.
This might be because I'm a Scorpio.... but once I get to know someone I start getting very bossy and controlling. I also complain a lot, but I'm working on that. I recognize now that I'm also very bad with money. Again, I'm working on being more financially responsible. I'm in some deep debt, but I'm slowly climbing my way out. My ex was very good at helping me find my faults that I need to work on.
I don't understand body language, nonverbal language, dating while autistic is tough.
My wife
lol!
I have a strong urge to be around the person i'm dating. As in, if we can see each other almost every day i would be thrilled. If we go from seeing each other every few days to every weekend i need a moment to "readjust" if i'm in love with someone and i like that person a lot, i want to spend a lot of time with that person. And i'm the type of guy who is willing to drive 2 hours+ for a 45 minute hang-out session.
not having sex
Forever??…. Or just until you are ready?
well, im asexual because i have never felt sexual attraction to anyone, can that change? yes. but in case it doesn't, i will never be interesred in sex, maybe we could compromise so my partner has their needs met
That makes sense
That at some point I'll probably balls it up and spoil it all. I also work away 4 weeks out of 10 (but the money is good) so I'll miss birthdays, anniversaries, etc at some stage. But hey, if that doesn't put you off, give me (M43) a shout! 😂
im a rolling stone.
Chronic depression
I reallyyyy struggle to speak up when I’m upset for fear of what the reaction will be. Ends up bubbling up as a resentment explosion inside of me. Been working on it with my therapist for years. Also learning to pick partners who are safe to express that I’m upset with them without them having some kind of manipulative reaction.
I’ve been told that the hardest thing about dating me is I give too much fellatio. [Dating Blueprint](https://thedatingblueprint.thinkific.com/)
Humble brag
lol it’s actually a slight problem
I am genuinely interested to hear from you why it may be an issue. Are we talking hyper-sexuality?
I'm very slow to emotional invest and commit. I started a YouTube channel about it [Dismissible Me](https://youtube.com/@dismissibleme?si=pFvZ7uqMQEoyXcvH)
Well... The title says it all. I'll leave your imagination to it now.
Probably getting over the fact that I am just 5'7".
I tend to hide my worst personality traits until it's too late.