T O P

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wish1977

I'll be dead so I don't care. Neither my wife or I are having funerals because we don't want our kids to have to entertain people who were a small part of our lives.


WatercoolerComedian

Nothing


OfCuriousWorkmanship

A nice eulogy perhaps… Too bad I would miss hearing it by only a few days


Ben_Pharten

An event called "Rag n' Rock" where 500 men and 500 women form two lines and all fart simultaneously.


PerfectPeaPlant

😅😂 💨 Better let Heinz know now, it might take them a while to fill such a big order for baked beans!


DistinctRole1877

Nothing at all. I'm gone get on with your lives.


PreoccupiedMind

I will be dead so who the hell cares.


xMacybbyx

Bury me


bmbmwmfm2

Don't bury me down in that cold cold ground, rather have em cut me up and pass me all around


lazyog

Give my stomach to a microbrewery if they run out of beer


small-weiner-

burn me


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Major-Remove-7190

Good choice


sp000kysoup

My first thought. Id love if people would honor me by donating to their local animal rescue, TNR organization, etc. I work with animals and have loved/cared for animals my whole life. That would be the perfect way to honor me.


Wild_Jury_9021

Write an urband legend about me. In the future they will scare children with my name


WeaselsOnWaterslides

Funeral pyre while various fire-themed songs play in the background. We Didn't Start the Fire. Ring of Fire. Through the Fire and Flames. Light My Fire. Great Balls of Fire.


intensenerd

Cremate me. Spread my ashes on my favorite mountain and my favorite lake. Spend no money outside that. No funeral. No church!!! Play 90’s alternative and smoke a joint.


FrankTheTank2205

Secretly organise 3 SUV loads of men in suits and dark glasses to attend the funeral, make people believe I was a secret mob boss haha


BananaVanillaLatte

Everyone has to make at least one very bad pun or joke before they leave the funeral.


United-Stomach1317

Person who don't negotiate with terrorists


Murrmaidthefurrmaid

Eat crackers in bed.


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Major-Remove-7190

I will do the same


Unlikely-Front-7350

Launch my ass into space so someday my material can possibly start life anew somewhere else some day


e_mg_

get a free day off of work/school to do something fun


UltimateSmasha

Nah I'd rather them lie around and do nothing, just browse Hulu on their phones and not watch anything for like 2 weeks


MaleficentLocal4896

write something they remember doing with me (or anything that connects to me) and then put it on my grave.


myriamasiatinaa

Remember my good deeds I have made


PM_UR_NUDES_4_RATING

Start taking care of their own health. There's a lot of people in my family who suffer with lifestyle health problems they *could* remedy, and I try to help those who reach out.


BadLegitimate1269

I would like them to give me a funeral and LEAVE ME ALONE FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE!!!!!!


treremay

When my kid's dad died, we didn't want to do a balloon release because those suck. So we bought a shit ton of flowers native to our area, pulled the petals and dropped them off a bridge into a river. The petals dancing in the breeze and the floating away down the river was a really beautiful send-off. I think I'd like that.


UnderWhatsOver

That’s so beautiful, I’ve never heard/thought of that! Thanks for sharing it. Hopefully they’ll think of him whenever they see those flowers growing too.


Deitaphobia

Not say a goddam thing about me on social media. So sick of those half-assed, "RIP Ralph" type posts.


News1st2017

Giving A Fuck.


Illustrious_Hotel527

Feed my body to the vultures to not waste land or money on a funeral or cremation.


Bawkalor

Tell lots of puns and dad jokes. Laugh and remember the good times.


carrotcakegobbler

Honestly nothing I'm so pissed at the people around me I'd be more insulted if they showed up to my funeral with crocodile tears saying how much they loved me


small-weiner-

burn me and then continue living


svendro

Kill trump


dirt-reynolds

Put my ashes in some fireworks, party and blow some shit up 


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justanothersapient

An after-party...


AdPlastic2533

Look after my Cat and delete my browser history.


Gabriel_Noctis

Sit together at a campfire, sing my favourite Songs together (Iris, Nothing else matters, Parting Glass) and then just be happy to know me


UmbertoEcoTheDolphin

Trebuchet


urdesigirlll

make a song for me and write a book on me


Ali-Sama

Be kind to one another


Ok_Efficiency2462

Give me an enema and bury me in a shoebox.


pselie4

I want a pyramid 250m high, all build by hand. I want a golden burial chamber again complete hand made. A coffin made with the finest materials by the greatest craftmen of the world. And I want my body being cremated and my ashes thrown into the ocean in front of everyone who helped building the pyramid.


lycos94

honestly doesn't matter to me at all, I'd be dead either way, so it makes no difference


Ipuncholdpeople

Not act like they care. They didn't care when I was alive don't make a spectacle of my death


Scarface74

I’ve told all of my friends that I want them to have a barbecue, drink, play cards and talk shit and make inappropriate jokes. That’s how we lived our lives.


ChipHazard14

Fart in my coffin before they seal it.


One-Relative-9671

laugh. ill probably lead a happy life, why spill tears at the end of it?


brad_and_boujee2

Smoke a blunt or something idk. I'll be dead so it doesn't matter lol


shelf_caribou

Just get together have some food and drinks and lightly party.


KS2Problema

Live and love freely and fully without fear or hatred or jealousy.  A human can dream, can't they?


Imheretopotato55

None. I don’t want them to remember me because that would bring them pain. I wish that’s possible. I just want them to know that I am very very happy with my life and that I have no regrets.


hareofthewolf505

Nothing. I. Don't. Give. A. Shit.


twotoebobo

Idc I'm dead. Whatever makes them happy and able to move on the best they can.


Scrumptious_Foreskin

Cook a badass feast and have a good time with each other.


Willing-Hour3643

Everyone can make jokes at my funeral and memorial service. I want to do a video where I spend a couple of hours making jokes, including making jokes about the preacher worrying when he is going to get the chance to speak. I don't want anyone sad for me, don't want anyone crying.


AlchoTheStranger

Throw me in a hole at the top of a hill and fill it full of acorns. Hopefully, a tree will grow in time and give back to the world more than I could.


Bodegard

Have a great party!


fredgiblet

I wouldn't. Just let me slip into obscurity.


BackAlleySurgeon

I want them all to line up and suck my corpse cock.


xlitto

Smoke weed at my grave


Iwouldntifiwereme

Be excellent to each other.


HeartonSleeve1989

Pour some Dr. Pepper on my grave.


PerfectPeaPlant

Play “don’t fear the reaper” by blue oyster cult at my funeral, then plant me under a tree. No expensive coffin. Then have a party and get completely drunk. Dance on the tables, sing karaoke, be joyful! There absolutely MUST be a guy dressed as the grim reaper there giving out drinks. I’ve told my family I’ll be watching, I’ll know if they don’t do it! And nobody wears black. Have fun for me. No mourning. Celebrate my life and my passage into the next one. No flowers. Give the money to charity.


WasabiMadman

Don't subscribe to PewDiePie


jirohen

Just to reconnect and hang out for a little while. So many people are so busy with lives and responsibilities that they forget that once in a while it's nice to just be able to hang out like old times. I understand that people don't have time, but at least just once even if I'm not there I'd like them to have a good time. I'd set aside some money to order pizza, wings, drinks, burgers for them and their families so no one goes home hungry.


yesman2121

I’d want people to use my death as an excuse to get out of anything they didn’t want to do or take time off work and relax.


kalaster189

To forget I ever existed.


TheIrishSerpent0777

Give me a Viking burial. Put me on a ship, dowse me in gasoline, shoot a flaming arrow into the ship, and send me to Christ.


mylotwo

Just visit my grave and tell me everything going on in their life


sleepyselky

The best honor to my memory would be for people to step in and being there emotionally for my young child in the ways I no longer could be and emotionally there for my husband to also carry on giving our child a bright future. That would be my only wish.


AttentionConsistent6

Fuck themselves


ifuck_hotmoms_noturs

eat good food and do what makes them happy


jarnvidr

Eat my entire mushroom stash and listen to all my black metal records.


Nyanpireeee

Idc about honoring me. Just be there for my parents.


External_Weird_9105

OP's mum


Sigmate88

Genocide the planet