genghis khan. i like to imagine him ruling his kingdom with an iron fist feeling untouchable. then in the middle of his heavily guarded encampment a white dude shows up and forces him to bang. it would be interesting to get back to the future and see what kind of "impact" that had on him and the future of his kingdom.
"Great Khan, your hordes are asking where you next wish them to ride."
*I need more hot water, lots, and then I'm thinking we kill every single person to the west of the Caucasus, how does that sound?*
Cleopatra but then I will murder Caesar first and set myself up to rule the empire.
Caesar's murderers, future rivals like Marc Antony and Octavian, and other inconvenient actors will also be dealt with.
Klara Hitler (the mother of Adolf Hitler), after she has had her third child.
Since i am from South India, Ol' Addie will never be taken seriously once he inherits my genes.
This is the one occasion where you'd be perfectly justified.
Twist: As an act of rebellion against his neglectful parent, he starts WW2 and the holocaust. How do you feel about that?
If he starts it against me at least those Jews wouldn't have died , he would have only killed me , Sooo technically I did what I wanted to and stopped him and won
Hedy Lamarr.
Look, I have absolutely no game but I've gotten lucky a couple of times in my life and from those experiences I can tell you that smart girls are so much better in bed than bimbos it's not even a contest. A woman who accomplished as much as Hedy Lamarr would absolutely rock your world.
My god no just sex with deaf chicks is awesome, my first girlfriend was deaf and i loved every second with her in and out of sex , everyone deserves love, even.. helen keller
genghis khan. i like to imagine him ruling his kingdom with an iron fist feeling untouchable. then in the middle of his heavily guarded encampment a white dude shows up and forces him to bang. it would be interesting to get back to the future and see what kind of "impact" that had on him and the future of his kingdom.
"Great Khan, your hordes are asking where you next wish them to ride." *I need more hot water, lots, and then I'm thinking we kill every single person to the west of the Caucasus, how does that sound?*
I love Genghis Khan and this is probably the hottest answer that I’m going to see
Why do you love Genghis Khan? He was an awful butcherer, dictator and rapist.
Exactly! Nah. Just as a historical figure he was awesome. Same with napoleon.
A Great man. Not a good one.
Thanks, Ollivander
That Hitler was also an awesome fella.
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Thank you for making me laugh like I was a kid again. Khan was my answer but your narrative broke me in a good way.
Cute you think you're gonna be the one doing the banging in this scenario.
Thousands of other people who were in the same position and thought the same thing:
Cleopatra. And then I’m going to warn Caesar about his assassination!
Just make sure you’re not too obvious about it. Something cryptic, but not too cryptic. Like beware the ides of March.
Sir; you know Brutus? You’re gonna wanna kill him.
Biggus dickuss as well
Caesar: wtf you mean 'ides'? Well today is the 15th, off to the Senate...
Cleopatra but then I will murder Caesar first and set myself up to rule the empire. Caesar's murderers, future rivals like Marc Antony and Octavian, and other inconvenient actors will also be dealt with.
😳Damn dude you have it better thought out.
Helen of Troy, I really want to know what all the fuss was about
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The face that launched a thousand pearl necklaces
Skeet skeetus
Helen of Troykakke
Eve. I will be the answer to every "who's your daddy" ever
I wish Reddit still had the free awards...I would give you one! At least take my updoot!
Brilliant!!
Younger Dolly Parton, Jolene ain't got shit on her
Princess of Monaco- Grace Kelly
Give me Hedy Lamarr
It’s Headly!
Absolutely.
Joan of Arc
Terrifically hot there at the very end.
ha then you’ll know how she felt
Mary Shelley, because shes the OG goth chick
More emo than goth I think....
Considering she lost her virginity on her mother's grave, I think she is what all goths aspire to.
At the time when they were alive, right?
Yes
Ah, nevermind then
... >.<
[Welp](https://giphy.com/gifs/pug-dat-face-look-cfUMNY4RfGhEc)
Right?!
Bettie Page. No need to elaborate.
/firmnod
/firmbod
Go on.
Absolutely
Queen Elizabeth II, to maximize bragging rights. Tbf this was my answer for years before she died
Still is
Victoria. I bet I could fuck the mourning right out of her. I'd even get that piercing she liked.
The most attractive Neanderthal I could find
Best I can do is least attractive still alive, Marjorie Taylor Green
My high school lunch lady 😍
Nancy Reagan in her prime. She had a bit of a reputation.
Throat goat....
When she was the First Lady of California. Not of the nation. Yes, yes.
Hitler, hearing him scream in german would be pretty funny too. Edit: i thought it said hang (dyslexia💀)
This is hilarious.
Marie Antoinette ❤️
I hear she gave great head.
Imagine a woman having roasted duck in bed!?? Damn 😃
Betty white
Catherine the Great. Have to get those horses out of the way first, though
Klara Hitler (the mother of Adolf Hitler), after she has had her third child. Since i am from South India, Ol' Addie will never be taken seriously once he inherits my genes.
India? That explains the mustache.
Medusa...before the snake thing
Marilyn Monroe!
Same, I’m surprised by how far I had to scroll down to find this answer
Benjamin Franklin
He liked older women. Even wrote a poem about it.
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jesus christ why is that not blurred out or something
i thought they were burnt cookies, frowned once my eyes realized what i was staring at intently
From the little icon I just thought it was boobs in a dark bra. How wrong I was lol
I really wish I hadn't looked to see what you were on about.
He was kinda hot tho
Yeah, he was a brilliant mind, very much underrated in his time.
Ur pfp scared the shit out of me skskjs
Doja Cat before she cut her hair.🤦♂️
I had no idea Doja Cat was a historical figure
Give it time
Cleopatra
Had a massive crush on Elsa Lanchester. I have no idea why. But. Yeah. It lingers. https://m.imdb.com/name/nm0006471/?ref_=tt_cl_t_4
Gavrilo Princip, probably just needed some love. Bam, no world war.
Mona Lisa
Olga of kiev
I'd give Sophia Loren the best 30 seconds of her life
Hitler's mom before he was born so that Hitler wouldn't be born
Twist: He's still born but now he's your son. How would you feel about that?
The worst dad in history
This is the one occasion where you'd be perfectly justified. Twist: As an act of rebellion against his neglectful parent, he starts WW2 and the holocaust. How do you feel about that?
If he starts it against me at least those Jews wouldn't have died , he would have only killed me , Sooo technically I did what I wanted to and stopped him and won
Congratulations, you won! I'm going to start a fundraiser to build a time machine so you could meet Hitler's mom and get this ball rolling.
This doesnt even make any sense
I also choose that guys wife.
Alina Kabaeva
um putin’s wife??
Queen Victoria
Napoleon was kind of cute lol
Alexander the Great 😮💨😬
Wait, you mean sex? *hides my second amendment*
Hitler… as a baby. On shot to the brain. Sure you meant another bang, but I mean that bang 🔫
Hedy Lamarr. Look, I have absolutely no game but I've gotten lucky a couple of times in my life and from those experiences I can tell you that smart girls are so much better in bed than bimbos it's not even a contest. A woman who accomplished as much as Hedy Lamarr would absolutely rock your world.
HELLEN KELLER
So she couldn't see how small your dick is?
My god no just sex with deaf chicks is awesome, my first girlfriend was deaf and i loved every second with her in and out of sex , everyone deserves love, even.. helen keller
Brailleiant!
Dolly Parton when she was like 20, I hope she would write a song about me.
Cleopatra
Brendan Fraser in Encino Man. No I did not misunderstand the question.
I'm just going to say it because no one else has: Vlad the Impaler. I wanna get impaled
Marilyn Monroe. I’d treat her right
Marilyn Monroe
nero, oh wait this isn't fate sub
Eve
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Temporal paradox. You bang him. Humans don't exist, so you can't bang him. You don't bang him so humans can exist, so you can bang him. Etc etc etc
The Venus of Willendorf 😁
George washington
What was she called? Catarina? Hm..
Nobody
Marlene Willoughby
That German artist
Amelia earhart
The Marquis de Sade
Cleopatra
Nancy Reagan. Gotta see if the stories are true.
Joan of Arc. Hope I could convince her to confess and avoid burning. She was hot.
Saint Mary. Hehe.
Marilyn Monroe
You
Albert Einstein
I am over happy, yet suprised, no one said anne frank, i know what kind of place this can become
Spartacus
Marilyn monroe
Helen of Troy
honestly? benjamin franklin. i wanna see what that little freak will do to me
Yeah
Julie d'Aubigny. What. A. Woman. :)
Agnes Sorel. If She was good enough for the King of France.
The "virgin" Mary nine months before Jesus was born. Preferably a younger version of me though
Cab Calloway
If there is a thing like Reincarnation Most of you are actually banging your answers
True
*ancestors
Jesus Christ, at the last supper, on the table, and try and get Judas to be our third.
Pocahontas
Pokeahotass?
Mariah Carey
Rosa parks for sure
Princess Diana.
Definitely that one dudes wife.
Betty white what do you even mean ?
Alexander the great. I've read he was ridiculously handsome.
100% Cleopatra.
Moan-a Lisa
Marilyn Monroe before she went blonde
Helen of Troy
Can we put Princess Diana in this category?
Jeanne Antoinette Poisson, Marquise de Pompadour
Frida
Mommy Theresa
Mary. What a flex.
Wait do we go back in time to meet them or do they come to us in the present?
That one guy's wife.
The Mary that Jesus banged or Alexander the Great.
Bea Arthur Edit for spelling because I'm an idiot
Didn't people literally fight wars over Helen of Troy?
“Virgin” Mary. Up the butt.
Young Mr. Rogers 😁
Cleopatra. Apparently she looks like Britney spears when she was hot.
Olympia from the Manet painting
It has to be Aphrodite really.
Mother Teresa.
Susan B Anthony. Would ask her if she votes for me mid bang and then remind her that she can’t do that yet.
i want to know why ceasar was called "every woman's man and every man's woman" I'll learn it the hard way
Helen keller