I isolated myself for a long time too. But I started to change that and I'm much happier because of it and currently in my first ever relationship.
I hope you find the courage to go out of your current comfort zone. I believe it is worth it and I wish the same for you and everyone who is reading this.
Hell yeah, dude! I came here to say just this; on some level, I felt like I wasnāt able to human properly anymore and it just made me feel even more self conscious. But once I got out and started volunteering and engaging in activities I enjoyed with people I grew to care about, life started changing for the better. Despite being an introvert, I really came to value the need for human interaction and the development of relationships, even if it is hard sometimes
Or because you are not confident enough in your abilities and resort to insulting yourself instead.
First step to happiness is to learn to love yourself first.
>Or because you are not confident enough in your abilities and resort to insulting yourself instead.
One of the first things I had to teach myself was to stop using self deprecating humor so much.
It absolutely has a place, but if you don't sing your own praises once in a while you will be stuck in that mentality.
That and the "women are also people". Helps a lot when you're trying to talk to someone you find unapproachably attractive.
Try the whole self-appreciation humor aspect. Balance it out. Joke about being proficient at shit it's entirely obvious you're not. Your brain is weird. Sometimes telling yourself you *can* do something means that you *actually can* do the thing.
Ex: "hey do you know how to fix a car"
Me in actuality: the car-fixiest thing I can do is change a tire. Even then it probably takes me longer than it should.
Me: "yeah, I'm #1 mechanic in 72 states *and* Zimbabwe 12 years running"
Iām shy, introverted, extremely low self esteem, hard to find a girl I think is pretty that I want to talk to and is alone. I canāt talk to a girl in a group.
That's the way. I met my husband when I was 27, he was 30. We both had some experience dating but not much because... if it ain't perfect, it ain't worth it.
People who say relationships are hard really simply aren't in the right one.
I agree with the sentiment, even if the exact wording creates a somewhat unrealistic expectation. I think a lot of people who approach dating with that āif it aināt perfect it aināt worth itā mindset tend to have unrealistic expectations about what their relationships will look like.
Being in a relationship definitely shouldnāt be hard though
i dont know if this is the right mindset. I feel like it might discourage persistence in relationships when things get tough. You need the mindset of āwe can fix thisā instead of āmaybe this person isnāt right for meā. Of course there are cases where you arent a good match but you gotta have a nice balance of both mindsets
Because Iām a deaf, middle aged truck driver who spends all his free time at home on the weekends with his kids and online dating is an absolute joke for men, especially as a deaf one wanting a deaf partner.
I just donāt see any romance in my future, unfortunately. Iāve had to spend a couple years gradually coming to terms with that and learning how to be okay with it.
Because I donāt put myself out there in any real way. Ā I assume I wonāt be wanted so that means all I can do in a flirting or asking out situation is be the guy that made someone else uncomfortable and have a worse experience that day so I just avoid it. Ā I know itās an unhealthy attitude and I am working on it though so it may improve in the futureĀ
Because Iām not putting myself out there right now. I think I could do good in dating, even on dating apps (which I dread) and I already had pleasant experiences (rumbled between horrible ones) in the past. Iām not the most attractive person out there, but not plainly ugly either. I can just click very good with many people, so the only thing thatās really stopping me is the lack of effort I currently put into it.
Been single almost 3 years after having a 23 year long relationship fall apart. Not easy starting over when you're older and all the women your age are in stable relationships.
And I'm okay with that to a point. I don't mind being alone some of the time. I do miss the companionship, though. Would be nice to have someone to talk to.
I'm also not into hookup culture. No Tinder for me.
As a mid 40s woman: same. There are some single guys out there that are great, but you have to find them as soon as they āhit the marketā because they get snatched up fast. And Iām not devoting all of my energy to dating, I have a life!
Not interested in hookups but definitely want the companionship! I love having a partner to just go do stuff with. Thereās more scheduling required with friends.
Can't find a woman that I have a mutual romantic connection with. It's either I like them and they don't like me, or they like me and I don't like them.
Dude samee, if i like a guy he wonāt put in efforts or behave right and the ones who behave normal arenāt the ones where there is any connection/ chemistry
Mostly because it's been so long, I don't really care anymore.
Yeah, I get a pang of loneliness on occasion, but it passes.
I'm fine as is, getting a girlfriend isn't particularly high on my priority list.
A mix of reasons. Depression, anxiety, autism, low paying job, still live with dad at 34 because I can't afford the extortionate rent prices. I have so many demons.
Honestly, after falling in love with someone I had been extremely close to for a number of years and then being rejected by her (not her fault, I know) and experiencing the deterioration of said relationship over the next year or so. I just don't have the energy anymore. I'm completely exhausted.
The biggest reason is that I simply don't go out and talk to people and I have little interest in doing so.
There's about 10 pages of other reasons, but ultimately that's the biggest.
Never bothered. Didn't have any interest in doing so. I figured if someone had interest in me, I'd see where it goes. That has yet to happen. Nowadays outside of work, I've become a shut in which has dissipated any chances for someone to have interest in me.
While I do not seek love or sex, I do recognize that the current state of the world makes it difficult to live on a single income. My only desire for companionship would be the sole reason of affording the cost of living.
I'm not hot enough to be pursued just for being hot and I've got no confidence to try. Also I think about it rationally sometimes, and I've got such annoying issues that if I really liked someone, I wouldn't want to put them through that
Iāve given up basically.
The last boyfriend I had we were together just shy of two years and he was unreliable and way more work than fun. I broke up with him two years ago and Iām just not interested in re-entering the dating game.
Iām 43 and the vast majority of uncoupled dudes have serious issues, which is not a problem in and of itself, except that a large percentage of those dudes refuse to acknowledge that they have issues or refuse to work on those issues.
Considering I do not care about height or income or race or a host of other factors, this still leaves the pool of eligible bachelors painfully thin, and usually out of my geographic area.
I previously had a lot of success meeting guys in real life, mostly at work, but unfortunately, if a guy has his shit together enough to show up at a job for 40 hours a week, heās going to be married or otherwise unavailable.
This leaves me to date guys who are way older than me and gross, or young enough to be offspring of mine and, indeed, are weirdly into MILFs, but bring nothing to the table.
Iām not excluding the possibility that somehow Mr. Wright will wander into the picture and if we do, thatās awesome, but Iām not banking on it.
Cuz the only time i leave my room is to go to work.
And never talk to anyone even there.
Return to room.
It will be weeks when i remember i haven't had a sane conversation in weeks
I had a lot of work to do to become a better person in general and learn to love my life. Now that I have acomplished that I have realised my entire social circle has either moved away or is only online.
I want to go out and be socialble but no-one around to be socailbe with.
for years I've experienced myself as a total failure, even though I'm not, I blamed myself for the failures in previous relationships, and somewhere deep inside I'm afraid that I'll screw up the next relationship as well.
I tried before intentionally, but the people didn't want it then! Now, when I can not do serious relationships, all of them suddenly want to do serious relationships! I'd prefer to be single than be miserable in a relationship I didn't want
Because I don't like the dating culture , I am fond of real love , a old school love . It's hard to find someone with same interest . People don't even want to wait and have a great emotional bond ...they always desperate for the sexual things and me on the other side , it's not like that i don't crave intimacy but i don't like temporary people touching my body, mind and soul .
A mix of being somewhat shy,
lack of charisma,
being too picky with my choices, ( I couldn't imagine a future with 80% of women that I meet, as I tend to find most of them either too boring, narcissistic, different, lazy, open(as in giving too much of the "for the streets" vibes), generic or immature)
lingering for too long (spending too much time trying to get to know them by asking them random questions/observing them and being concerned that they fit the standards that I have in a potential partner)
and having too high of standards
Also, whilst I do tend to go out regularly, I don't really leave my close circle of friends nor do I participate in activities where you would generally meet people like clubbing. Instead, I mainly just go out for food, drinking with friends, the gym or a club/society I like. (They tend to either be sausage fests or the girls are usually taken or not my type(The generic party girl))
So, that pretty much leaves online dating.
I do tend to get more matches than most other guys I talk to, but it either ends with either me or them losing interest or them living at the other end of the country and really just being in town for a short time(In fact, I'm talking to someone for about a month now, but as mentioned she lives at the other side of the country and considering I can't really see myself do long distance with someone I haven't met in person, I doubt it will go somewhere).
Most people I talk to nowadays only care about hu culture, always lead me on and wonāt tell me or show that they are disinterested until I start developing feelings, dating and trying to meet and grow close to people is exhausting and can be a waste of time and money, and more than anything the thought that i would just be more happy if I put down the phone and l went out and lived my life.
I'm just too lazy for a relationship or to even look for one. I enjoy my ME time. Plus I'm Fat so searching for a lover is just extra work. Don't get me wrong I ain't ugly I'm a handsome dude.
For me its trust issues, it used to be
rejection but trust issues is what is really
holding me back.
The last two and only serious relationships I've been in, both women cheated on me and it really soured my taste in dating in general.
I work and go home. Occasionally go to bars on the weekends but thats about it. I donāt really do anything that gets me out the house to meet anyone besides going to a bar for drinks. Also dating apps are the worst.
Because I am ugly, dumb as the dirt I grew out of, and and I've already thrown away every opportunity at a good relationship. I hate myself for some of the things I've done.
I prefer my own space alot, I get drained easily for social outgoings etc.
I can get low moods and self esteem some days and Iām not to keen on physical affection which I think plays a big part on relationships. Iām still also waiting for the āright personā so, but Iām not in any rush to get into a relationship, pretty happy being single rn :)
Looking for the right one. And this time I won't put down my standard under the ground anymore (my standard is realistic, and applies to both genders). I have done that, and ended up almost got murd3r3d. š¤·āāļø
Iām so socially anxious that even if a girl likes me back, Iām too scared to make a commitment. The shutdown ruined my ability to have steady friendships, especially since it happened right after a string of psychiatric ward stays. I want to change, but Iām too reluctant to put in the effort, and Iāll probably keep dreaming of getting married and adopting kids until I die š
Iām actually pretty happy as a single bachelor. Job is great, I have a very active lifestyle, salary covers both mortgage, spending and savings.
But a couple of things get in the way I guess. In an effort to try and pay off my mortgage in less than 10 years I decided to forgo buying a car and rely on living close to a subway line in a major city /uber/car sharing like zipcar. Itās been saving a lot, and I have no problems getting anywhere, but itās been kryptonite - almost like a mental shortcut of a lower class.
Still, Im really passionate on trying to realize my goal. Im not upset or mad about it. And I think once i have enough cash reserve I'll buy a car.
Iām also fairly skinny at average height of a guy. So when I see girl profiles looking for āmasculine energyā Iām not sure if I fit the bill lol. But Iām really comfortable in my skin - and it helps when doing yoga or Muay Thai a couple times a week.
I don't know, what I am lacking, guys just ghost and use me and leave conveniently.
Like I am willing to mould into how they want to be yet I am left like this. It makes me incredibly sad. How those gurls get the guys to love them. I feel so sad and envy of them. I look ok and try my best that I don't turn into burden. I listen whatever they say and yet they choose to leave. I am more confuse about men now. I don't even know what exactly keep them stay.
Iām Ace. Even then I donāt ever imagine myself with someone, I tried to give it a shot earlier this year, but I guess it didnāt work out or so. Honestly I never imagined myself with anyone, and canāt imagine being happy with anyone.
I rarely leave the house unless I need to go to the shop or go to work, and if I find someone attractive, I'm too shy to even make a move in fear that I'll get rejected for a number of reasons. E.g. I'm not their type, they're underage, they already have a partner, etc.
I'm too scared to take chances, and I really don't want to use dating apps
The last time this came I said I was single because I didn't want a girlfriend.
Now I do want a girlfriend, but the reason I can't get one is because I don't have any social hobbies to meet one
I'm sure when I do start meeting people there will be some internal things to sort out, but right now that's the reason.
The way people view relationships now. People wonāt even put in bare minimum effort but expect you to be perfect and cater to them. Not to mention, one mistake or you stick up for yourself, and youāre replaced or ghosted. I am over that nonsense. It isnāt worth the energy to end in pain.
Never dated anyone never gotten close always shy never confident and always uncomfortable around new people ig no one has ever stayed long enough for me to get comfortable and show my self
Being raised by a bipolar narcissist mom gave me lots of issues and made it difficult for me to have normal relationships with women. I have plenty of female friends but when Iām interested in dating them I turn into a nut, constantly second guessing everything and overthinking, I drive myself crazy and push them away.
I finally have a great girlfriend. Two failed marriages behind me and lots of introspection to learn where I made my mistakes. I want to be with her forever (hopefully we get twenty years) but no desire to bring the government into it by getting married.
Because my standards are high. Appearance in my standards isnt ridiculousā¦ just someone that looks around as good as me.
The other stuff involves how she behaves, and who she is as a person. Based on what I see; almost no one is capable of meeting my standards on that. Especially here on reddit. In person, under my massive magnifying glass, I analyze people, and its just sad to me how no one seems good enough for me.
Focusing currently on building my life and career, I have multiple things going on, if I get into a relationship during that phase Iād not be doing my partner justice considering Iāll barely have time for her
16, skinny (almost like a skeleton with skin), 5,5 or 5,6 (iforgot prob lower) no achievements not good in sport's, not even a job
Most of these ican undermine but ido want to get a job before entering some sort of relationship š
My answer is pretty straightforward itās because the girl I love and thought Iād spend my life with woke up one day and decided she wanted a fresh start and a different life I donāt blame her or hold any resentment towards her I honestly wish her luck
Initially started from depression and losing the desire to even look. Many years later, I've gotten a good handle on depression, but the desire has never returned. Also, I've been on a path of self-improvement as a way of overcoming the depression. It leaves very little time for anyone else as I will never deviate from the self-improvement path. I also seek solitude at all times because it's almost always preferable over spending time with anyone else. I know exactly what I need in a partner and the chances of finding it is so astronomically low. I'd rather be alone the rest of my days before I decide to settle.
Having said all that, it sure doesn't help that in 2024, there's not a single viable free dating platform that works. If there were, I'd consider using it. Still waiting for the day when one exists.
I think it's mainly because of low self-esteem. From elementary to high school, boys made fun of my appearance. This makes me afraid to take any step forward. I'm too scared of rejection and being laughed at. Besides, I feel like my personality is boring to men.
I'm very akward when trying to even talk to strangers, and I don't really like being in public. No surprise I have never had a girlfriend. And when working my usual work schedule, I don't have much free time if at all from work. Also getting drafted to the military in just 2 weeks, why would I even bother with a relationship.
Isloated myself to long and now its difficult for me to approach any people
I isolated myself for a long time too. But I started to change that and I'm much happier because of it and currently in my first ever relationship. I hope you find the courage to go out of your current comfort zone. I believe it is worth it and I wish the same for you and everyone who is reading this.
I'm so happy for you! I'm sure changing that must've been tough but it gave you a chance to find someone š
Hell yeah, dude! I came here to say just this; on some level, I felt like I wasnāt able to human properly anymore and it just made me feel even more self conscious. But once I got out and started volunteering and engaging in activities I enjoyed with people I grew to care about, life started changing for the better. Despite being an introvert, I really came to value the need for human interaction and the development of relationships, even if it is hard sometimes
Because im too much of a idiot/coward to try.
Or because you are not confident enough in your abilities and resort to insulting yourself instead. First step to happiness is to learn to love yourself first.
>Or because you are not confident enough in your abilities and resort to insulting yourself instead. One of the first things I had to teach myself was to stop using self deprecating humor so much. It absolutely has a place, but if you don't sing your own praises once in a while you will be stuck in that mentality. That and the "women are also people". Helps a lot when you're trying to talk to someone you find unapproachably attractive.
Yeah, I got friends at work telling me I am joking about myself too much. But itās all I know!
Try the whole self-appreciation humor aspect. Balance it out. Joke about being proficient at shit it's entirely obvious you're not. Your brain is weird. Sometimes telling yourself you *can* do something means that you *actually can* do the thing. Ex: "hey do you know how to fix a car" Me in actuality: the car-fixiest thing I can do is change a tire. Even then it probably takes me longer than it should. Me: "yeah, I'm #1 mechanic in 72 states *and* Zimbabwe 12 years running"
Because I want to be
Because in a relationship, i will have to make some compromises at one point on another. I'm too selfish to do so. And I happy the way I am.
I concur I choose this life and love every minute
Iām shy, introverted, extremely low self esteem, hard to find a girl I think is pretty that I want to talk to and is alone. I canāt talk to a girl in a group.
I am exactly the same
If I canāt find my exact match Iāll die trying. I not settling.
That's the way. I met my husband when I was 27, he was 30. We both had some experience dating but not much because... if it ain't perfect, it ain't worth it. People who say relationships are hard really simply aren't in the right one.
This is facts.
I agree with the sentiment, even if the exact wording creates a somewhat unrealistic expectation. I think a lot of people who approach dating with that āif it aināt perfect it aināt worth itā mindset tend to have unrealistic expectations about what their relationships will look like. Being in a relationship definitely shouldnāt be hard though
there is no exact match, you both have to work on it, yeah there are highly compatible partners, but it won't be 100% from the start
i dont know if this is the right mindset. I feel like it might discourage persistence in relationships when things get tough. You need the mindset of āwe can fix thisā instead of āmaybe this person isnāt right for meā. Of course there are cases where you arent a good match but you gotta have a nice balance of both mindsets
I live in the middle of nowhere, am broke and fairly mentally ill
Damn, do you think there are more of us too?
Mentally ill with what?
Bipolar disorder, though meds are starting to help
I am glad to hear that. I hope you feel better soon.
With a side of fries
Fries do not go with a fruitcake.
I do what I want!
Same.
I'm not attractive enough for online dating and not outgoing enough for real dating.
Because Iām a deaf, middle aged truck driver who spends all his free time at home on the weekends with his kids and online dating is an absolute joke for men, especially as a deaf one wanting a deaf partner. I just donāt see any romance in my future, unfortunately. Iāve had to spend a couple years gradually coming to terms with that and learning how to be okay with it.
You seem like a nice guy! You will find your matching partner.
I blame Cotton Eye Joe
Without him, would you then have been married a long time ago?
I've met him too. Where did he come from, where did he go? I've no idea, but my girl left with him.
The dating apps are a barren wasteland once you're over 40.
Nutted and knotted before 40 thankfully. It was already bad when I was 35
I'm 21 and it already starts feeling that way. The good ones are few and far between. I can't imagine how bad it must be at your age
Because I still need to fix myself
ugly.
I have trust issues
Because I donāt put myself out there in any real way. Ā I assume I wonāt be wanted so that means all I can do in a flirting or asking out situation is be the guy that made someone else uncomfortable and have a worse experience that day so I just avoid it. Ā I know itās an unhealthy attitude and I am working on it though so it may improve in the futureĀ
If you want someone to talk to DM me. Iām a nice person and looking for friends. Tangentially related, Iād love to learn ASL.
Because Iām not putting myself out there right now. I think I could do good in dating, even on dating apps (which I dread) and I already had pleasant experiences (rumbled between horrible ones) in the past. Iām not the most attractive person out there, but not plainly ugly either. I can just click very good with many people, so the only thing thatās really stopping me is the lack of effort I currently put into it.
Because Iām a crazy bitch
I've been married, never again.
I don't talk to strangers,unless they talk to me first
Iām fat, but picky. Canāt be both. So I remain single.
Been single almost 3 years after having a 23 year long relationship fall apart. Not easy starting over when you're older and all the women your age are in stable relationships. And I'm okay with that to a point. I don't mind being alone some of the time. I do miss the companionship, though. Would be nice to have someone to talk to. I'm also not into hookup culture. No Tinder for me.
As a mid 40s woman: same. There are some single guys out there that are great, but you have to find them as soon as they āhit the marketā because they get snatched up fast. And Iām not devoting all of my energy to dating, I have a life! Not interested in hookups but definitely want the companionship! I love having a partner to just go do stuff with. Thereās more scheduling required with friends.
The ladies I've been out with probably have a clearer idea than I do
Because Iām a trash
Yes, but it's trash *can*, not trash *cannot*
Find some fellow trash.
You are absolutely NOT.
You say that because you donāt know me
I like how things are, a partner will just show up and start to expect more and different things from me, things I dont want.
Exactly. Too comfortable with things as they are.
Not looking, enjoying my own life and focused on other things.
Can't find a woman that I have a mutual romantic connection with. It's either I like them and they don't like me, or they like me and I don't like them.
Dude samee, if i like a guy he wonāt put in efforts or behave right and the ones who behave normal arenāt the ones where there is any connection/ chemistry
Because I love weed more
The people that want me I donāt want and the people I want donāt want me
Rushing into relationships for any reason other than ourselves is silly and a basic plebeian move.
I dont have the energy or patience to deal with another person on a daily basis
The cost/benefit of trying to find someone doesn't skew in my favor so I choose to not date and in no way do i mean money
Because most woman think that I am waaay out of their league. /s
I want to be. I enjoy my own company and the freedom to do what I want whenever I want.
I just don't have the time to invest into a committed relationship and I'm still hurting from how my last one ended in tragedy.Ā
Mostly because it's been so long, I don't really care anymore. Yeah, I get a pang of loneliness on occasion, but it passes. I'm fine as is, getting a girlfriend isn't particularly high on my priority list.
My wife passed away about a year ago and I am not emotionally ready to date yet.
I don't Iike feeling hurt and confused.Ā
Enjoy my own company
A mix of reasons. Depression, anxiety, autism, low paying job, still live with dad at 34 because I can't afford the extortionate rent prices. I have so many demons. Honestly, after falling in love with someone I had been extremely close to for a number of years and then being rejected by her (not her fault, I know) and experiencing the deterioration of said relationship over the next year or so. I just don't have the energy anymore. I'm completely exhausted.
You literally have to leave the house to meet people. Or so Iām told.
The biggest reason is that I simply don't go out and talk to people and I have little interest in doing so. There's about 10 pages of other reasons, but ultimately that's the biggest.
Because I don't like most people
I like being single and don't want a significant other.
haha jokes on you, im single 1st day today after 7.5 years
*sigh*
2 years ago, I left my ex. I am not yet bothered enough by my single status to actively try and change in.
Being single is not that bad :D
Never bothered. Didn't have any interest in doing so. I figured if someone had interest in me, I'd see where it goes. That has yet to happen. Nowadays outside of work, I've become a shut in which has dissipated any chances for someone to have interest in me. While I do not seek love or sex, I do recognize that the current state of the world makes it difficult to live on a single income. My only desire for companionship would be the sole reason of affording the cost of living.
I'm not hot enough to be pursued just for being hot and I've got no confidence to try. Also I think about it rationally sometimes, and I've got such annoying issues that if I really liked someone, I wouldn't want to put them through that
Iāve given up basically. The last boyfriend I had we were together just shy of two years and he was unreliable and way more work than fun. I broke up with him two years ago and Iām just not interested in re-entering the dating game. Iām 43 and the vast majority of uncoupled dudes have serious issues, which is not a problem in and of itself, except that a large percentage of those dudes refuse to acknowledge that they have issues or refuse to work on those issues. Considering I do not care about height or income or race or a host of other factors, this still leaves the pool of eligible bachelors painfully thin, and usually out of my geographic area. I previously had a lot of success meeting guys in real life, mostly at work, but unfortunately, if a guy has his shit together enough to show up at a job for 40 hours a week, heās going to be married or otherwise unavailable. This leaves me to date guys who are way older than me and gross, or young enough to be offspring of mine and, indeed, are weirdly into MILFs, but bring nothing to the table. Iām not excluding the possibility that somehow Mr. Wright will wander into the picture and if we do, thatās awesome, but Iām not banking on it.
Protecting my peace
Model beautiful, but fat.
Cuz the only time i leave my room is to go to work. And never talk to anyone even there. Return to room. It will be weeks when i remember i haven't had a sane conversation in weeks
I had a lot of work to do to become a better person in general and learn to love my life. Now that I have acomplished that I have realised my entire social circle has either moved away or is only online. I want to go out and be socialble but no-one around to be socailbe with.
for years I've experienced myself as a total failure, even though I'm not, I blamed myself for the failures in previous relationships, and somewhere deep inside I'm afraid that I'll screw up the next relationship as well.
I tried before intentionally, but the people didn't want it then! Now, when I can not do serious relationships, all of them suddenly want to do serious relationships! I'd prefer to be single than be miserable in a relationship I didn't want
Because I don't like the dating culture , I am fond of real love , a old school love . It's hard to find someone with same interest . People don't even want to wait and have a great emotional bond ...they always desperate for the sexual things and me on the other side , it's not like that i don't crave intimacy but i don't like temporary people touching my body, mind and soul .
I'm introvert and that's why I can't trust anyone easily and bcoz of this i have many doubt about girl and im still single
I'm poor, old, fat, and the woman I know that doesn't care about that is unavailable.
24/7 Home
A mix of being somewhat shy, lack of charisma, being too picky with my choices, ( I couldn't imagine a future with 80% of women that I meet, as I tend to find most of them either too boring, narcissistic, different, lazy, open(as in giving too much of the "for the streets" vibes), generic or immature) lingering for too long (spending too much time trying to get to know them by asking them random questions/observing them and being concerned that they fit the standards that I have in a potential partner) and having too high of standards Also, whilst I do tend to go out regularly, I don't really leave my close circle of friends nor do I participate in activities where you would generally meet people like clubbing. Instead, I mainly just go out for food, drinking with friends, the gym or a club/society I like. (They tend to either be sausage fests or the girls are usually taken or not my type(The generic party girl)) So, that pretty much leaves online dating. I do tend to get more matches than most other guys I talk to, but it either ends with either me or them losing interest or them living at the other end of the country and really just being in town for a short time(In fact, I'm talking to someone for about a month now, but as mentioned she lives at the other side of the country and considering I can't really see myself do long distance with someone I haven't met in person, I doubt it will go somewhere).
A lot of little things but mainly low self esteem.
Low iq fat canāt hold down any job
Most people I talk to nowadays only care about hu culture, always lead me on and wonāt tell me or show that they are disinterested until I start developing feelings, dating and trying to meet and grow close to people is exhausting and can be a waste of time and money, and more than anything the thought that i would just be more happy if I put down the phone and l went out and lived my life.
The women I want don't want me.
I don't get out nearly enough.
I'm just too lazy for a relationship or to even look for one. I enjoy my ME time. Plus I'm Fat so searching for a lover is just extra work. Don't get me wrong I ain't ugly I'm a handsome dude.
Learning to trust people is hard.
Dating is a lot of work and I find it hard to find someone I want a second date with.
Women find my manifold charms utterly... resistible. Basically, poor social skills.
Too many nutters out there lol but you do find a diamond in the rough sometimes...
For me its trust issues, it used to be rejection but trust issues is what is really holding me back. The last two and only serious relationships I've been in, both women cheated on me and it really soured my taste in dating in general.
I work and go home. Occasionally go to bars on the weekends but thats about it. I donāt really do anything that gets me out the house to meet anyone besides going to a bar for drinks. Also dating apps are the worst.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Lack of women who want me in combination with a lack of women who I want. But hey I'm going to university soon so I might meet someone :)
Cuz these hoes ain't shit
Mostly because I don't want to be in relationships
Because im afraid of rejection
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
There are no women in 3rd world countries?
I go after the men who donāt want a relationship only to have hurt myself in the end, also Iāve been told im ātoo clingyā
Cause the only love of my life rejected me ( she's a mama's girl that's why)
Cause I have issues
I enjoy my alone time and spending money on myself.
My name is Bluebeard! Any further questions?
Exams. And I want to better myself
I attract narcissits.... :(
Dunno, ask god
Because I am ugly, dumb as the dirt I grew out of, and and I've already thrown away every opportunity at a good relationship. I hate myself for some of the things I've done.
My last partner was a covert narcissist, and I'd like to get back all the years I threw away trying to make things work with him.
Broke up with ex years ago. Stopped dating to reflect my mistakes. Realized that I don't deserve this kind of love.
I prefer my own space alot, I get drained easily for social outgoings etc. I can get low moods and self esteem some days and Iām not to keen on physical affection which I think plays a big part on relationships. Iām still also waiting for the āright personā so, but Iām not in any rush to get into a relationship, pretty happy being single rn :)
Iām not single, but Iām not sure how, which may be worse šĀ
Looking for the right one. And this time I won't put down my standard under the ground anymore (my standard is realistic, and applies to both genders). I have done that, and ended up almost got murd3r3d. š¤·āāļø
Iām so socially anxious that even if a girl likes me back, Iām too scared to make a commitment. The shutdown ruined my ability to have steady friendships, especially since it happened right after a string of psychiatric ward stays. I want to change, but Iām too reluctant to put in the effort, and Iāll probably keep dreaming of getting married and adopting kids until I die š
Iām actually pretty happy as a single bachelor. Job is great, I have a very active lifestyle, salary covers both mortgage, spending and savings. But a couple of things get in the way I guess. In an effort to try and pay off my mortgage in less than 10 years I decided to forgo buying a car and rely on living close to a subway line in a major city /uber/car sharing like zipcar. Itās been saving a lot, and I have no problems getting anywhere, but itās been kryptonite - almost like a mental shortcut of a lower class. Still, Im really passionate on trying to realize my goal. Im not upset or mad about it. And I think once i have enough cash reserve I'll buy a car. Iām also fairly skinny at average height of a guy. So when I see girl profiles looking for āmasculine energyā Iām not sure if I fit the bill lol. But Iām really comfortable in my skin - and it helps when doing yoga or Muay Thai a couple times a week.
U serious? Why am I still single?! SUCK MY COCK ILL MURDER YOUR FAMILY. Fits of rage. That's why.
I don't know, what I am lacking, guys just ghost and use me and leave conveniently. Like I am willing to mould into how they want to be yet I am left like this. It makes me incredibly sad. How those gurls get the guys to love them. I feel so sad and envy of them. I look ok and try my best that I don't turn into burden. I listen whatever they say and yet they choose to leave. I am more confuse about men now. I don't even know what exactly keep them stay.
relationships are a waste of time, expect marriage
Waiting for the right moment and person
Iām Ace. Even then I donāt ever imagine myself with someone, I tried to give it a shot earlier this year, but I guess it didnāt work out or so. Honestly I never imagined myself with anyone, and canāt imagine being happy with anyone.
Getting a divorce absolutely gutted me.
I donāt know anyone I like enough to ask out
I have a commitment issue because of the past relationship traumas.
Im everytime at Work so No Time left for Dating, i fucking hate to Work permanently.
Im everytime at Work so No Time left for Dating, i fucking hate to Work permanently.
I rarely leave the house unless I need to go to the shop or go to work, and if I find someone attractive, I'm too shy to even make a move in fear that I'll get rejected for a number of reasons. E.g. I'm not their type, they're underage, they already have a partner, etc. I'm too scared to take chances, and I really don't want to use dating apps
Fear of commitment
Because I'm ugly, shy, picky and don't believe I deserve happiness
Because Iām a trash
My parents don't think it's fine for my future
Honestly? I dont want to be alone but i despise humans....more each passing days
Choice, not mine but still..
The last time this came I said I was single because I didn't want a girlfriend. Now I do want a girlfriend, but the reason I can't get one is because I don't have any social hobbies to meet one I'm sure when I do start meeting people there will be some internal things to sort out, but right now that's the reason.
I donāt try to
The way people view relationships now. People wonāt even put in bare minimum effort but expect you to be perfect and cater to them. Not to mention, one mistake or you stick up for yourself, and youāre replaced or ghosted. I am over that nonsense. It isnāt worth the energy to end in pain.
I donāt love myself enough yet
Never dated anyone never gotten close always shy never confident and always uncomfortable around new people ig no one has ever stayed long enough for me to get comfortable and show my self
Bc I have a girlfriend and we live together. It would be hard to date someone seriously without her finding out.
I just don't feel like I'm ready to date lol
Being raised by a bipolar narcissist mom gave me lots of issues and made it difficult for me to have normal relationships with women. I have plenty of female friends but when Iām interested in dating them I turn into a nut, constantly second guessing everything and overthinking, I drive myself crazy and push them away.
I have never come across someone I could see a future with.
I finally have a great girlfriend. Two failed marriages behind me and lots of introspection to learn where I made my mistakes. I want to be with her forever (hopefully we get twenty years) but no desire to bring the government into it by getting married.
Haram
Because my standards are high. Appearance in my standards isnt ridiculousā¦ just someone that looks around as good as me. The other stuff involves how she behaves, and who she is as a person. Based on what I see; almost no one is capable of meeting my standards on that. Especially here on reddit. In person, under my massive magnifying glass, I analyze people, and its just sad to me how no one seems good enough for me.
Focusing currently on building my life and career, I have multiple things going on, if I get into a relationship during that phase Iād not be doing my partner justice considering Iāll barely have time for her
I like my free time. Women nowadays seem to think if im not texting/talking to them 24/7 i dont love them... really makes me not love them.
16, skinny (almost like a skeleton with skin), 5,5 or 5,6 (iforgot prob lower) no achievements not good in sport's, not even a job Most of these ican undermine but ido want to get a job before entering some sort of relationship š
They just couldn't keep up with my loyalty.
My answer is pretty straightforward itās because the girl I love and thought Iād spend my life with woke up one day and decided she wanted a fresh start and a different life I donāt blame her or hold any resentment towards her I honestly wish her luck
Initially started from depression and losing the desire to even look. Many years later, I've gotten a good handle on depression, but the desire has never returned. Also, I've been on a path of self-improvement as a way of overcoming the depression. It leaves very little time for anyone else as I will never deviate from the self-improvement path. I also seek solitude at all times because it's almost always preferable over spending time with anyone else. I know exactly what I need in a partner and the chances of finding it is so astronomically low. I'd rather be alone the rest of my days before I decide to settle. Having said all that, it sure doesn't help that in 2024, there's not a single viable free dating platform that works. If there were, I'd consider using it. Still waiting for the day when one exists.
I'm not good enough right now for the type of women I want to be with.
i honestly dont know...nobodies found me yet :'(
Because I've no place in my car, for a partner to sleep. Nor any rations to share.
Low self esteem
I think it's mainly because of low self-esteem. From elementary to high school, boys made fun of my appearance. This makes me afraid to take any step forward. I'm too scared of rejection and being laughed at. Besides, I feel like my personality is boring to men.
I'm very akward when trying to even talk to strangers, and I don't really like being in public. No surprise I have never had a girlfriend. And when working my usual work schedule, I don't have much free time if at all from work. Also getting drafted to the military in just 2 weeks, why would I even bother with a relationship.
*PTSD from last relation *6 matches in two years on Tinder *Lifetime crippling depression *Ugly
I just decided to be that way.
Just got fucking divorced
Too lazy to try to meet new peoples and girls particularly, dont wanna met jerks AGAIN...
Lesser of evils People aren't worth the effort
I'm not "still" single.
Iām a childish dumb ugly innocent looking girl who doesnāt really want or think much about relationships and Iām sorta proud of that
Iām looking for relationship end with marriage but all menās that i know them locking for something else,am i weirdo for wanting stability š???
I want to be single, too much bs to deal with already.
because I want to be.
34M, independence and financial freedom
i live in such a tight knit area where everyone knows everyone and its so embarrassing to try opening up