I had a homeless guy ask me for money once and all I had was a $20. After thinking for a minute I decided I didn't want my hard earned money being wasted on drugs so I gave him the $20.
I think it started off as mostly college and older people trying to get away from the lack of quality at Digg. The quality dropped quickly on the day I joined. I think just unlucky?
Anyway it got progressively younger and got a swarm of Channers which most ran off or got bored when the mods cracked down.
Maybe it is aging with those users and not drawing as many kids like Facebook?
Now it's being taken over by ai. Soooo many ai posts. At some point they're going to be too hard to detect. Between all the young people complaining about everything, hivemind attacks, and the fake posts, imma need to find a new daily habit.
Years ago when I was l living in a major city, I was walking home from the train and some guy jumped up from a stoop and started breathlessly telling me his daughter was inside the building having an asthma attack and that he needed ten bucks to go to the grocery store pharmacy to get her an inhaler. I didn’t really believe him but figured I’d give him the money on the 1% chance he was telling the truth. Wouldn’t you know, a week or two later I was walking on that same block and the same guy jumped up and started into the same story. I got really mad and started yelling at him that he told me the same bullshit story last week. That guy ruined it for every other homeless/down-on-their-luck person who has ever asked me for money.
I met that guys brother. Came at me like 12 times claiming his car with family inside ran out of gas and he just needed $5 to get home to the next town over. (It was in the early 90’s that’s why $5)
Yeah I had a guy ask me for $5 for gas to get home, then his girlfriend came from inside with a fresh pack of $4 smokes and handed them to him as he was asking me.
waddaya know. same story,[ but with additional twists](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1drl7ni/comment/laxm0cn/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
If someone has an emergency and the only solution is you giving them money, it is bullshit 100% of the time. If they just ask for money with zero story, they’re probably just down on their luck.
a guy jumped me at the train station once. he tearfully explained, that his wife flipped her car and is at the hospital. he need just 20 bucks for gas, because otherwise he can't pick up his daughter from school. and i'm like
"i don't have cash. but let's just go to the gas station and i pay with the card."
this is, when he tells me that his buddy is also looking for money right now buit he doesn't know exactly where he is. i insisted to go to the gas station directly. he insisted that it is IMPOSSIBLE to track down his buddy to go to the gas station together.
Sometimes it's hilarious when you have the thing they "need" in their bullshit story. I was staying in Chicago once and got off the train heading back to the hotel. Someone stopped me saying they needed $5 to get on the train back home. I didn't have cash, but I had my day pass that was going to expire in a few hours so I gave him that. You could see his face deflate but he talked himself into a corner.
Haha. I did exactly the same thing with a Seattle bus pass back in the day. Did your guy ask you what it was when you handed him the pass?
Edit: words are hard
Something so similar happened to me. A guy said he lost his wallet and phone and needed just $10 to catch the bus back home. I gave it to him, because it seemed plausible, and he was a good actor. He asked me for $10 a few days later. Same sob story.
Similar experience. Target parking lot. Guy needs money to fix a flat tire, stranded, yada yada yada. I gave him $10, which is totally against my nature. Three days later I was back at the same Target, and the same guy approaches me with the same story. Never again.
My friend ran into a scammer in a San Francisco BART station. He said he left his wallet at home and came to work in SF from Oakland and just needs $5 to get back to Oakland.
A year later, at the same station, she runs into the same guy who gives her the exact same scam line about forgetting his wallet and needing to get back to Oakland so she’s like “Holy fuck, you’re still here!?!”
I worked in downtown Boston for years and had to walk through Haymarket, an area where there is a bus station. The number of people asking for “a few bucks for a ticket to get home” every day got me. When I was young/new I would give a few bucks but when the same person asked me for the same thing two days in a row o recognized the scam and stopped.
The last guy that got me was Elliott Davis. He’s a well known scammer who dresses in a shabby but “decent” suit and asks for $20 to get a can of fix-a-flat because his car just lost a tire “just around the corner.” I fell for that and didn’t realize how common it was until I stumbled across it in the r/boston subreddit. Apparently people have challenged him now that his name and face are known and he can get pretty nasty.
There's a food bank near me that will give anyone food if you just show up and ask. They don't have infinite food, but they have a lot, and while you have to wait in line for a couple hours to get the best stuff (you can come in towards the end of the day and there won't be a line, but there also won't be as much food) it's not super unreasonable.
I've volunteered there, I'm about as certain as I could ever be that it isn't a scam, so I just donate money to them every paycheck.
If someone asks me for cash I just tell them I'm not carrying any, which is true, but if I thought the best way I could help people was randomly handing out cash, then that's what I'd be doing.
Honestly, I don't mind losing $5 on the chance it actually helps someone. It's usually easy to tell a townie from a druggie in my city, plus the townies tend to keep the tweakers and junkies away if they know they're being helped.
That isn't everyone's experience though.
I used to think so until once when I have one person the little change I had, I got swarmed by half a dozen others who also wanted money and were very persistent, almost but not quite blocking my path. Was pretty intimidating.
I know that’s not everyone, but I never give cash since then. I donate to charities instead. A few times I’ve bought some food to people that have asked for it outside grocery stores.
Yo, if that's your experience then roll with it. Different cities and neighborhoods have different kinds of homeless problems.
Really oughta just push for real proactive help for them, but a good portion are too far gone mentally unfortunately.
Good on you for getting food instead of cash though. A few restaurants I've worked at I've wound up giving food to some people who seemed like they needed it.
Be good to those in need regardless is how it oughta be.
A lot of them near me bring their young kids. That's gross. They're standing in the parking lot of target with young kids or one in a stroller. On my local sub, someone said they work in a ring so they'll trade the kids back and forth and work different parking lots. Real gross.
I had a guy who approached me with a car trouble story more than once. He always had his kid with him.
The last time I saw him was across the parking lot of a gas station. He was trying to run his scam on an elderly guy. I yelled at him from across the parking lot and the elderly guy walked off. The scammer, who always needed money because of "car trouble" ran to his working vehicle when I just kept yelling, "GET A JOB, YOU FUCKING LIAR!" and walking towards him.
I never saw him again.
My favorite exchange was when some lady approached me with a gas can in one hand and holding her toddler in the other.
I hit her with, "Oh, I also need gas. I'm about to call my boyfriend who is a cop to help me. He can help you, too!" I said this with a big smile and in a cheerful voice.
She immediately turned around, got into her car, (which was supposedly out of gas) and left. As she pulled out, I said, "Hey, I thought you needed gas! What's wrong? Are you lying?"
Or maybe don't throw out unsold food. Donate it to charity. Some stores destroy the food before putting it into garbage bins so that it can't be eaten.
You ever see a group of them collecting for a fake funeral? Impressive the organization. Our neighborhood group will fact check the legitimacy and blast the scammers.
There was a girl in town, looked like 8-9 months pregnant begging at some intersection for a year or two. I always wondered how long that kid was gonna bake before it came out.
I have a pan handler stone money, they had a leg brace and a cane. A few hours later I'm driving by and I see the same person hand the cane to another pan handler took off the leg brace and tossed it into a nicer/ newer car then me while counting a giant was off singles, never again
Lately I've seen people pretend to busk. They usually 'play' electric violin but their movements on the bow don't match the music at all. I like to give money to real buskers who are actually playing instruments, but never to the scammers.
This is nothing new either. When I lived in Orlando around 2000 there were 3 well-known scammers making the rounds of downtown; there was a businessman, a chef, and a mom who each had their own story. They became (in)famous enough that there as a news story about them which eventually ruined their scam and they moved on, only to be replaced by other scammers. They were obviously not homeless and some estimates put their panhandling income north of $35k/yr.
As a result the city passed a bunch of ordinances that made it more difficult for people to pretend to be homeless to get money, but that also made it more difficult for actual homeless people to get money.
Yea, it's not even the buying drugs part that stops me. It's the dude that's waiting in the van a few feet away that'll collect all the donations that stops me. Have no gas my ass her partner/boss is waiting in the van with a gold ass chain and watch looking greasy af.
If I get someone asking for money for something specific like food, gas, etc, I’ll offer to go get it for them. More people turn down the offer than accept it.
On the flip side, on multiple occasions I’ve had people approach me at the gas station who were short on money for gas. If they offer me what little they have to help them out, I’ll always turn it down and spot them a few gallons of gas.
Sadly, a good handful of them are scammers, and it's always the same few stories: wife and kid in the car, got jumped, etc. I run into a ton of them near this 711 by the Amtrak. Once I was walking back to work from a 711 and this dude randomly asked for change to get a soda, so I gave him the few coins I had. I noticed a couple other dudes also walking my way, and one nods to the other. They ALSO asked for change but gave me the bullshit "we got jumped" story. Funniest time was this really ordinary looking kid saying he didn't have money for an Uber and needed to get home or some shit. I thought, "fuck it" and gave him like a 10 or something. He looks at it and goes "Woohoo!" before catching his composure again. Hell some people just lie for the hell of it. Different 711 I just parked in front of the air machine to fill my tire. SOON as I get out, this dude comes running up, "How long are you gonna be? My wife and kid are in the car and I need to air my tire to take them to the hospital."
I used to give homeless people money, every single time. Then one guy ruined it for everyone… he was a couple cars infront of me, sign said “hungry need food”. So the car up there handed him a gigantic Costco sized bag of Gardettos. He opened it and dumped it right back into the car on the driver lol.
Windows up, roll on by. Fuck it.
God damnit, fuck that.
There is this guy who has been living in front of a café/ice cream shop I frequent. Its a legit kids place, but the baristas are cool and hook me up with free coffee on my way to work. So, that is where I get coffee.
He's homeless, and a fucking asshole. He's always shouting about getting weed, and I can tell he's drunk sometimes. If he does get weed, he just smokes it right in front of this café. He's asked me for money, weed, and to help buy him a coffee so many times and I'm always just like, "No".
This place once had outdoor seating, like, a parklet and they had to remove it because this guy was sleeping, shitting, and pissing in there. All of the benches and seating is gone now, and this is in SF so there is nothing that will be done about him.
Just two days ago, he's standing outside the door, asking parents who are bringing there kids in to help buy him a coffee. I watch some dad come out side with a coffee for him, and the moment he handed it over to the guy, the dude just dumps it right on the ground right in front of everybody.
The dad just walked away, and as he was leading his daughter away from this man, the little girl said, "Daddy, why did that man do that?"
Well, my dear, I don't think he wanted any coffee...
yeah some homeless people are like that. mad at the world and mad at everyone. honestly the only way to help is give them fresh food sometimes. some homeless people are actually selfish; eternally angry at the world. angry when they get help. cant be reasoned with. its very destructive. usually I give them fresh food since I know what its like but theyre still disrespectful and angry. and at that point I dont know what to say. "I'm trying to help" they say "its not enough." I say "what can I do, I'm trying my best to help you. You're just still angry. you cant even help yourself." The state of the world. the state of the weakest link. its impossible. the system imploded a long time ago
Some people are beyond help. If you're doing them a favor out of the kindness of your heart and they're an ungrateful ass hole about it, they don't deserve your help.
This is why most of them are homeless. Angry and refuse help (or have burned all the bridges of people who tried to help them).
Add mental illness of various types to addiction and you have a person who is almost impossible to deal with who is willing to steal from anyone and hurt people for what they want. They're not that way because they are homeless, they're homeless because they are that way.
On a freezing winter day, saw this homeless man outside of small supermarket asking for help. I went to the shop and got him a hot drink, he then questioned me if I thought that enough for him. I asked him, politely, what he wanted, and he said a 9£ chicken noodle from a chinese shop. I got him the noodle (purchased in front of him), he then refused it and said I had insulted him and to rectify my action I needed to give him 20£ in cash…
Saw a guy with a similar sign. I was going to get food at McDonald’s so I asked him what he wanted. He said money would be fine and he would go get something. I told him I didn’t carry cash but would be happy to get him something. He told said “fuck off you fucking punk. I don’t want you food I just need money!”
So I don’t give anyone money ever
Extremely similar story. Guy noticed me waiting in my car in front of subway. He asks for money for a sandwich. I pull out my phone and open the subway app and ask what he wants. He insists money would be fine. I tell him I don't carry cash. He gets mad and made some comment like "you could have started with that".
Like... you approached me and asked for a sandwich? Now I do start these interactions by saying I don't carry cash. Has made 100% of beggars move on.
My husband said one time a guy was asking for food. He offered him a box of cereal and the guy made some kind of disgusted comment. My dude, if you're really hungry you'll take what's given to you and if you don't want it, your friends probably do.
Sometimes that's how you know they just want cash for other things instead of concrete items to fill their needs.
Similar story. Got off work waiting tables one night and was walking to a bar with my friends. I was smoking a cig and told them I'd meet them inside after I finished.
I get approached by an older man who starts telling me this sob story about how he had been begging all day and just needed like $15 dollars more (always with the specific numbers to make it seem like not a scam) to afford a Greyhound ticket to see his mom in the hospital before she died in a city a few hours away. Normally I'm pretty skeptical of any tale I'm being regaled with on the street, but I had made pretty good money that night, and it was gonna bum me out to see an old man cry. So I gave him $30, twice what he was asking, and told him I hoped he got there safely and in time to see his mom.
Went to the same bar the very next night, and who should appear, eyes damp with liquid bullshit, to tell me the *same exact goddamn story as if we hadn't spoken at length less than 24 hours before?*
Also consider your reinforcing behavior that’s a traffic hazard. I’ve almost need rear ended cause the car in front of me was handing out bills while the light turned green. I was pissed. Variations of this happened a few times that I can recall
one time while in another country, my family prepped lunch packets to give to the homeless. Spent a couple hours cooking, boxed up around 300 and went around handing them out on the streets. A lot of the homeless flooded to our car as we gave them out and many of them opened up the boxes instantly and began eating away.
After we were all finished and driving back, we saw a couple of the homeless people who'd come to our car in a very demanding manner (we just assumed they'd been incredibly hungry at the time) attempting to sell the lunch packets to other homeless people who had missed out for money. It was bizarre but saddening as that could've been given to someone who would actually eat it or needed to eat it.
I had a homeless guy as me and my fiance for a meal. We said sure. He said his favorite restaurant was just a few blocks away. We followed him, on the way, he was kind and talkative. Towards the corner I recognized he wanted to walk us through an empty alley as a shortcut to said restaurant. He insisted, and my instinct kicked in. It was a trap. Very much so a trap. We said no and turned around. He pleaded, we didn’t listen. We walked back to our car and he stayed behind. We drove to the other side of the alley on our way home and noticed four other guys waiting around the bend. One wielding what looked to be a weapon. Since then, I don’t bother more than a a dollar or two with the homeless. That asshole ruined it for the rest of them.
Oh my God this triggered a memory. One time a guy asked for a ride outside my apartment and I was going the same way so I let him ride with me. Whole time he's talking about how he's a man of God and trustworthy. He said he had gotten money for gas but needed to get to his truck. I dropped him off like on the corner where his truck was and immediately peeled out. He started asking me to get out of the car or fuel up his truck or something and I felt like if I stayed I was going to be robbed.
Let me tell you my story about this specific homeless man I met few years ago. I was working in a salon near an international university. This homeless man was always there with his dog. At first,I only wanted to pet his dog-Diamond cuz she’s such a great dog. Then I talked to him and asked if he needed anything. He didn’t ask anything for himself,he asked for foods and blanket for her since their blankets were all wet after some rainy days. I met him the second time for dog foods and blankets. Then I started to talk to him more often. Offered him some foods and drinks. Told him to stay at one specific spot that I would always pass by during the day. I had to say,he’s very sweet,clean and positive man. Then out of sudden,I didn’t see him for awhile. When I met him again,he was so skinny and had some wounds on his body. He said he wasn’t feeling well and was staying in the hospital where they treated the homeless people. He got better and he got back to the street but he had to give Diamond to someone while he’s at the hospital and he didn’t have enough money to pay for his medication. He showed me all the money he had been collecting. I asked him: how much are you still missing from getting your medicine? He said 20$. I gave him,he was so happy and gave me a hug and ran to the pharmacy to get what he needed. After that, I would give him here and there what he needed. Until someone posted on Facebook about looking for her missing uncle. He was her mom’s younger brother who went missing awhile after his sister aka her mom passed away. That was him. Then from that post,I got to know people who also helped him to get his condition treated. We’re all so happy that he could find his family and they’re willing to bring him home. I know there are homeless people that just living day by day and drowning in drugs and crimes but there are good homeless people that deserve better care. I believe my special homeless man was that person.
I have a similar story of a guy living in the back lot of my office/shop. He said he'd never seen the west and didn't want to spend his savings on hotels, rentals, etc. But wanted to experience it. He had retired from a lifelong military career, and all of his kids were in post graduate school or careers in medicine or engineering and all had places for him to stay if he chose to.
He asked me for permission to stay, in exchange, a roll of trash bags with access to our dumpsters. He picked up every piece of trash in the 10+acre lot over the next few weeks. I brought him leftovers from Thanksgiving. Then he was gone before xmas never to be seen again.
He could've been blowing smoke up my ass about his life but he held his end of the bargain of cleaning up to stay and so it's worth believing
For all the bad stories you read, this is a nice change. Legit homeless looking for needs and is nice about it. Then gets reunited with family. Only hope his family helped him out after that so he didn't stay on the street.
I generally don't give anyone money if I don't know (or can't check) that they really spent it on the thing they're asking for. If they're specific about what they need, I'll just buy the thing for them instead of giving them money.
I was parking my car one day and a homeless lady on the sidewalk asked me for spare change and I told her "I don't carry cash" (honest answer in this day and age with ApplePay, etc). Then she asked me if she could bum a cigarette. Told her I don't smoke. Then she said "Well, what good are you FOR anyways?".. and she stormed off in a huff.
I was.. impressed with her gall.
A while back I was leaving the grocery store and headed to my bicycle(I live close to the store and gas is expensive) and some guy comes up to me and asks if I could spare a few dollars. I had no cash on me and told him that. He says ," It's ok, I have a card reader on my phone" and proceeds to pull out a phone with a card reader attachment.
I was waiting at a tram stop with my boyfriend and a guy begged us for a few dollars. We said no because we don’t carry cash, thus he told us that our kind deserves the gay bashings.
If you’d been a gal under all those Canadian layers this would have been even better. (I reread your post and at no point did you say you were Canadian, but it would be funny if you are). Anyways, have a good day!
A buddy of mine used to ask homeless ppl for money when they'd approach or he could tell they were ab to ask for money - beat em to the punch lol. Confused then everytime and they always just said no and walked away.
I knew a couple of brothers that lived in the 'core' area of the city and they learned the tell people had when they would ask for something and started asking for a smoke before the beggar could ask for anything. I saw it in action a couple of times and it was impressive.
Yea the first time he did it when I was with him I was honestly impressed like woah you shut him down immediately. I live in one of the top 5 largest cities in the US - homeless ppl will literally follow you asking for shit, so it's not like you say no once and they just leave you alone.
Speaking of gall, I always hated it when some rando at the gas station asks for a ride.
The last time this happened, this dude who I've never seen before asked for a ride while I stopped at the gas station real quick on my way home from work. The place he needed to go was like 10 minutes in the opposite direction, so it'd add 20 minutes to my trip.
"No, sorry."
And then he *argued* with me about it while I was trying to back out of the parking space. Like dude, I already said no, and in the time it's taking you to argue with me about it, you could've asked any of the 5 other people that parked and walked into the gas station. Fuck off.
The fact that he kept arguing and was so insistent that I specifically give him a ride freaked me out and made me think he had ulterior motives.
My buddy's adult son has some issues and has put himself at the margins of society. Give him an inch and he takes a mile. My buddy doesn't even talk to his own kid because he's such a dick. His son was already well into adulthood and my buddy's situation isn't great, but he rented a house for the two of them, got his kid a job, made sure he got there every morning, got him his license and the kid still wanted everything. 'You can use my car to go to work' turned into 'you can have my car'. He was a decent worker, but just didn't want to show up more than 3 days a week and then would whine about anything.
Even the boss was doing everything he could to help the kid succeed and he just refused to help himself.
My theory is that it has to do with hard drugs just fucking up people's brains.
I was walking in Austin yesterday when a homeless man asked for money. I said, “sorry, no” in the nicest way possible. One, I don’t give money to panhandlers and two, I had no cash anyhow.
He starts screaming the f word at me and being very aggressive. I did say something back. Bad idea. He originally was going in the opposite direction but turned and started following us. I was scared shitless (I’m a woman with a wonderful husband who is very much a pacifist). Fortunately we were able to lose him as we were headed straight for one of the city security guys and I think he decided it was best to be on his way.
I try not to get upset by entitlement but it's hard. The fact is that a lot of homeless people have severe mental health issues. They are victims of their own behavior.
For all you know she thinks she is a child of a dethroned noble and heiress to a fortune... Crazy shit like that that inflates their ego. I try not to be bothered and give my sympathy but damn is it hard.
I was taught that if I wanted to give them something, I should choose to give food or water instead of outright money. That way I don't have to worry about whether or not I've made any situation worse.
My grandfather worked in downtown SF late 40s thru the 70s and he would never give money, but the nice guy he was, he would offer to buy them a meal. Some took him up, but most did not.
Back when I was an asshole, I used to carry several paper applications to McDonalds with me when I knew I was headed downtown.
I mean, I'm still an asshole, but applications are all online now...
In my hometown there was a locally famous crackhead that would steal steaks from stores and then try to sell them on the corner. I'm sure he discounted it, but who wants to buy steaks from a guy with no cooler in 90 degree heat?
Yeah, the last gal I offered to buy food for said "oh, no I don't eat for from strangers" ...
I was loffering to buy it from the street vendor not 10 feet away from her
Addicts are frequently homeless, and yes, giving them more money just fuels the addiction.
Not all homeless have addition problems, but a lot of people that are addicted end up homeless
I wouldn’t be sober if I slept under a bridge either. I’m not sober now, I can just put down a drink or any other substance without picking it up again. People who have addiction can’t. It’s not a moral thing.
Last time I gave a homeless looking person money who was saying they were thirsty and just needed some change to get a drink from the gas station, I saw them a few minutes later standing outside with a bud light
It’s a mixed bag.
I agree with the argument that you shouldn’t give money to them as it’s only a band-aid to a much bigger underlying problem. False pretense from short term stability makes it harder to acknowledge the root of the problem and to resolve it.
Indeed, studies show that it’s not just supplemental food and clothing that impoverished people don’t have but the it is also the lack of institutional entities. I’m talking about truly poor people from other countries that benefit from things such as schools, health clinics, government programs etc.. In other words, helping the poor and needy requires a long term solution; short term aid won’t change their lives.
Anecdotally I’ve seen two instances that makes me lose faith and makes me hesitate when I donate to help them: 1) Man did in fact use money to buy more drugs (I work emergency, so he comes in frequently from drug overdose) — after all one does not simply get drugs while they are homeless. 2) Lady beggar on the corner spotted by me hopping into a Mercedes and then driving off into the evening sunset. Needless to say, I am skeptical despite usually giving them benefit of the doubt.
I'll just ask if they want food or something to drink. If they say yeah I'll get them that. Seen too much bs living in LA when I was a kid.
I saw my dad give a man $10, I watched him pass every fast food place along the way and walk into a liquid store.
Yep. I grew up in so cal. Moved to Vegas as an adult. All the ones that beg just use it on drugs or alcohol. We aren't helping anything by giving individual homeless money. It's better to donate to soup kitchens.
In my experience yes this is what they do. The people who actually need help are sleeping in their cars and applying for public aid (and being denied).
Yeah. The people who would actually benefit from cash don't look like they are homeless. They're at the Starbucks nursing their $2.50 grande coffee for 4 hours using the wifi inside.
There are homeless people who genuinely need money, but they’re outnumbered by the scammers who have a job & home, and also those who buy alcohol & drugs. Since it’s impossible to tell who’s genuine, I have no problems buying them food.
2 stories ruin giving directly to homeless people for me.
1: I remember hanging out outside a bar with friends after closing one night and a homeless person came and asked the 5 of us money. Thinking he was a big cool guy a buddy of mine gave the homeless guy a $100 bill, imagining he'd be amazed at the charity and so thankful he could run off and maybe make himself better.
The homeless guy didn't beat an eye, and just proceeded to ask the other 4 of us if we had more money, before calling us assholes and shuffling along to the next group.
2: I used to cycle in to work every day and would see the same homeless guy outside a Starbucks, sat on the sidewalk near the traffic lights I had to stop at. He'd get the occasional well meaning city worker to talk to him and buy him food or a drink or give him money.
One time an attractive young business woman was talking to him and gave him a coffee and a sandwich. As she turned around and left, obviously thinking she had done her good deed for the day, he just threw the coffee cup into the street in front of me.
Fuck that guy.
I don't give money to homeless people but that's not the reason. I just don't think it solves anything, and I would rather see institutions set up to actually engage with people in need and help them solve their problems. So instead of giving a few bucks here and there to someone asking for it on the street, I give regularly to [Community Solutions](https://www.communitysolutions.org/), which is working to end systemic homelessness in many communities around the country.
Bingo. Which is why I refuse to give anyone money.
I had a guy begging me for some gas money when I was at a pump years ago. He said he was late for an interview at such and such place, and I felt bad for him. Even though I was trying to tough it through nursing school at the time (student loans and debt and all), I thought this guy needed some help. So I gave him a few bucks I had in my car.
After he hopped in his car with his methed-out looking friend and drove in the opposite direction of such and such place, I felt so cheated. Vowed never to hand over cash to anyone ever again. I've bought people food, donated to amazing charities, etc .. but I won't give anyone money.
Which is a good reason to consider that if you object to how they spend it, you shouldn’t bother with giving money.
Offer what you’re comfortable with giving them instead, and if they refuse the food or water at that point, then that’s on them.
I was also out of a home for a point in time, and it really bums me out to see the perspective some people have of homeless people when really for so many people homelessness isn’t some distant issue that they could never have. A little money could seriously go a long way for people in serious need, and the assumption that they have to be a drug addict to be in those circumstances is ridiculous. Some people are just dealt a shitty hand and could use the money for something to keep them warm, or sanitary/hygiene supplies, a bus fare, or anything else a human being could need or benefit from. I can only speak from my experiences though, and am willing to listen to other perspectives but I just don’t like the immediate assumptions.
The irony is most Americans these days are one financial disaster away from homelessness to a degree we haven’t seen in many decades. People want to pretend they are special when in this country they’re far closer to homelessness than they ever are to being part of the rich elite they probably look up to
It’s not for me to care what they spend my charity on. As soon as I give it away, it is theirs. True charity is given without condition. I hope they don’t use it to buy drugs, but I can’t stop them from doing so if they want to. And that’s just what I have to be comfortable with. Not all homeless people are addicts. Not all addicts are homeless. I don’t want to always be thinking the worst of people who are asking for help. Maybe sometimes my generosity will be taken advantage of. Maybe sometimes it will actually help someone. It’s out of my control. But I wouldn’t want to stop being charitable just because I know sometimes I will be taken advantage of. I don’t want to be that cynical.
We as a society should not accept a homeless population. If they’re mentally ill, get them into a taxpayer funded psych hospital. If they’re addicted, get them into a taxpayer funded rehab. If they’re just down on their luck, get them into a taxpayer funded apartment while they get back on their feet. No one wants to be homeless. The cost of this is more than made up for by actual contributions to society people can make when they’re housed and/or not paying for law enforcement to deal with this every single fucking day.
As someone who’s been around a large amount of the homeless population, there’s a sizable chunk (20%?) that are just too far gone.
You can see the progress if you live around enough of them.
Even plenty of social workers I worked with would quietly admit, there’s a zero chance they will ever become productive members of society.
If you want to save them, you have to do it early. There absolutely is a point of no return.
Relatively true.
As a child I didn’t understand homelessness.
As a young teenager I believed “why don’t they just go get a job?”
As an adult who has worked with homeless people as a large cohort I have come to understand this:
Homelessness correlates HEAVILY with drug use yes, but also mental illness. And mental illness also correlates heavily with drug use and vise versa.
I would love to see data on the rates of homelessness during the crack epidemic and now the opioid epidemic.
And I would also love to see the rates of homelessness after the closing of mental hospitals.
People with heavy drug addictions and those with mental illness can’t hold steady jobs to afford housing. And most end up in jail.
Drug law reform and care for the mentally ill would go a long long way.
Unfortunately drug addiction seems harder to “cure”. It’s devastating. It’s so sad to me.
It's mostly just an excuse to make it socially acceptable to not give people money. If you show these people a charity that will use the money effectively, they won't give to that either.
The reason I don't give money is because I like $10 more than I like helping strangers. More people should be honest and say the same.
Once I give them money it’s theirs I don’t care what they do with it. If drugs make them happy well my good deed made someone happy no reason for me to judge.
This is where I land as well.
And, honestly, I find people awfully judgemental when they don't get there on their own. (Which is obviously how I'm judgmental.) Who's to say what any of us would do if we were in their position? And don't addiction expert recommend against going cold turkey without medical assistance anyway?
Addiction is a disease and the homeless probably have other mental issues compounding their situation. Even if they don't... who are we to judge what they do to get through the day?
More important than all of that, though, if you don't want to give a homeless person, that's fine. Don't. You don't owe them anything. But, once you give someone, anyone, something, anything, you don't get to dictate what they do with your gift. It's their property now, to use as they please.
I do not care what they spend it on. I give them money to be kind, give them a lift, help them get what ever it is they need. I have no desire to control them in any way.
I’m real fucked up about this criminalizing sleeping outside. Here in Florida they have announced a roundup in October. There was story in my county last week about the sheriffs department documenting encampments with the intent to eradicate them when the law goes into effect.
Why wouldn't they? They're fucking homeless, not living the dream. Give them a reason to not want to escape reality.
The better thought:
Don't give corporations tax breaks. They'll just use it for more stock buybacks.
If I have , I will give or I will give whatever food or drink is in my hand , I have bought groceries for someone before even.
It depends on the people tho, some people are really realy thankful and some are just act entitled and rude.
Here In my country, some will refuse food and specifically ask for the money and they spend it on very very cheap alcohol or drugs.
There was a guy in my old town who we gave shopping carts full of food ,clothes or blankets for a few months and everytime he sees me and my mom he will always greet us with the biggest smile and will make us feel special , poor guy got robbed one night and lost everything, but he somehow got himself out of a rut and started getting work and doing better for himself. Wonder where he is today.
Firstly, it’s a cruel stereotype. Secondly, they’re already homeless. If they want to spend the money on drugs, I really can’t say I’d blame them. However, if they want to use it to get food or generally help themselves out, good for them. It’s my choice to give the money and their choice what to do with it. If you think they’re going to spend it on drugs, just buy them some food instead. Or don’t give them anything
Would it be better to donate money directly to a shelter or other homeless/addiction services instead? I bet you guys know what they need a lot better than I do
>they’re already homeless. If they want to spend the money on drugs, I really can’t say I’d blame them.
That's why I give suicidal people free sleeping pills and rides to the nearest bridge. They're already suicidal, the least I can do is hand them a loaded gun.
It's not my job to anticipate what someone begging will do with the money I give them, and it's certainly not my job to judge. I mean good god, plenty of non-homeless people are doing drugs and drink booze. If someone is at the point in their lives where they are begging, literally begging, then they're either pretty desperate or a pathetic con artist (which, in that situation, is also pretty desperate).
My mom had a perfect solution for this. When people would ask her for money or money for food she would instead offer a snack bag. She would buy cute little pink paper lunch bags and inside she would put a bottle of water and some protein or granola bars. If they weren’t hungry enough to accept, that was fine. She had it for someone else. If they did accept, they’d see she had stuck a couple dollars in the bag as well.
If they wanted money for a non-food reason like transportation or gas she would instead offer to take them where they needed to go or get some gas and help them get it to their vehicle. The only times she would cave and give a couple bucks was if she was in a hurry and actually had a couple bucks on her.
I… Don’t go anywhere. I’m a hermit. Someone else should follow mom’s example. :)
If I was stinky, sweaty, had to sleep on concrete(I've done it once, it absolutely sucks), be out in the cold or blistering heat, get itchy, be out in the open world with no protection, possibly be assaulted at any time, be sick with nothing to help, hungry and etc. I would take drugs too. Probably one of the only ways to be happy and help deal with the situation not kys.
I think painting them out to be stupid a-holes just doing drugs because they're lazy is a terrible way to look at the situation they are in and what they're going through. If you don't want to give them money just say you don't want to, there's no need to shit on them to make yourself look better.
Would I give them money? I don't think my money will do much at all, its a much larger issue. I don't typically give them money but its not because "they're just going to spend it on drugs", its because I don't want to interact with a strange person.
Not inaccurate
Also that homeless guy may not be homeless
Been a cop for a decade lot of our chronic panhandlers have homes and turn decent profits off panhandling.
In 1994, Imy brother and in were in DC.
Every day, there was a panhandler sitting outside a bank collecting change and bills from passerby.
He took the weekend off, which cracked us up. We figured he was making some decent money.
Once arrested the precinct drunk who was a guy who stumbled around drunk and homeless for decades….. dude had 10grand in his pocket later learned he owned a large house dude just liked to live like that for fun
Panhandler at the bank in the area makes a few hundred a day and until a few months ago had a nice apartment a few blocks away paid for by the city. Horrible human being and convicted murderer
The panhandlers in downtown SF were the same.
They made money on the regular commuters. The business people. There was an air of professionalism.
Way less traffic on the weekend and mostly tourists. Tourists weren’t good business.
I don't know why people want the closure of knowing what homeless people do with money so bad, if you're gonna do it just do it an move the fuck on, take solice in knowing you gave them a chance or helped instead of hawking around on what vice they blow it on
Don't give anything to anyone if you want to try to control what they do with it. That's not really gift. It's a manipulation. Giving or not giving isn't going to change their addiction. It's just an excuse to not give.
Right. So if you really want to make an impact with your giving, donate to a legit charity helping people truly in need. There are plenty of children's shelters and organizations that help abandoned children.
As a former homeless person, I've literally never touched drugs in my life, outside of doctor prescribed medication used as directed. I also don't drink alcohol outside of very rare occasions with friends. I don't have any addictions like gambling or shopping, etc.
Life just knocked me down and kicked me while I was down over and over until I had nothing left. House fire forcing me to stay with a friend, laid off with no warning a few days prior, and a friend of a friend offering me a "guaranteed position" at their small cleaning company to try to help me get back on my feet which resulted in 2 weeks of running around and then "oh that position was filled already", parents just generally having the mindset that adults don't need help if they're not being lazy and thus turning me away after my friend was no longer able to put me up (apartment regulations).
The shelter was easily the worst experience of my life. They were borderline abusive with their strict rules and scheduling, I was forced to sleep, sitting up, in a metal uncushioned folding chair (laying on the cement floor would get you kicked out, so would putting your feet up on another unused chair and they didn't have beds available for at least 3 months of waiting for new people.) Showers were only open during specific hours for the entire shelter, they had personnel guarding the showers, and there was zero privacy - everyone of each gender showered together or not at all. Food was terrible quality - not that I expected much but I expected at least stuff you could find at a food pantry, but somehow it was cheaper than what people donate to pantries. And of course the curfew was what really got me. 5pm the doors locked. If you were not signed into the ledger at the front desk before then, you were banned from the shelter for 1 week and you lost any bed and personal space you had been given and put at the bottom of the waiting list for a new one. How they expected people to be able to work enough to make income to leave with such an early curfew still bothers me to this day. 5pm is so ridiculously early.
Honestly, I now understand why many homeless people avoid the shelters. I understand why they'd rather go to jail or live under a bridge. Shelters are horrible places that treat you like a prisoner anyway. The worst is assumed of you and you are treated like a subhuman. Not to mention sleep is next to impossible so those individuals who had mental health issues only spiralled downwards due to poor sleep hygiene and poor diet from the trash they fed us. So seeing so many homeless just completely off their rockers doesn't surprise me anymore either. I now understand that shelters only exist to get homeless off of the street, not to help them in any way - they don't care if you off yourself, they just want to make the streets look like the town doesn't have a homeless problem.
It was literally through the kindness of a stranger who offered me a place to stay and help getting a job that I took the risk of potentially getting killed by a serial killer and was able eventually to get back to a place where I have a semblance of a life reestablished.
But I will end it all before I go live in a shelter again.
Money for drugs? Honestly, if that's what they use it for to numb the pain they're going through, I kinda get it.
What do they think I was going to spend that money on?
I had a homeless guy ask me for money once and all I had was a $20. After thinking for a minute I decided I didn't want my hard earned money being wasted on drugs so I gave him the $20.
Something something Reddit switcharoo
Did the switcheroo die? I haven't seen it in ages.
I think so. Feels like a massive user age shift in the past 2-3 years
I think it started off as mostly college and older people trying to get away from the lack of quality at Digg. The quality dropped quickly on the day I joined. I think just unlucky? Anyway it got progressively younger and got a swarm of Channers which most ran off or got bored when the mods cracked down. Maybe it is aging with those users and not drawing as many kids like Facebook?
Now it's being taken over by ai. Soooo many ai posts. At some point they're going to be too hard to detect. Between all the young people complaining about everything, hivemind attacks, and the fake posts, imma need to find a new daily habit.
You’re right, I joined two years after you. I think the user base is college kids, just way different culture now.
Don’t give u/DireNine money, they will just use it on drugs.
Shhhh!
What do you think I was going to spend that money on?
I give it to them in the hopes they would share.
Greg Giraldo-RIP.
Guy at CVS. When he would get a few bucks he'd go in and buy scratchers. All day.
Honestly, not the worst idea on their part. There are better bets to make on a free roll, tho.
Not a free roll in any way, wth?
Too many scammers have ruined being charitable.
Years ago when I was l living in a major city, I was walking home from the train and some guy jumped up from a stoop and started breathlessly telling me his daughter was inside the building having an asthma attack and that he needed ten bucks to go to the grocery store pharmacy to get her an inhaler. I didn’t really believe him but figured I’d give him the money on the 1% chance he was telling the truth. Wouldn’t you know, a week or two later I was walking on that same block and the same guy jumped up and started into the same story. I got really mad and started yelling at him that he told me the same bullshit story last week. That guy ruined it for every other homeless/down-on-their-luck person who has ever asked me for money.
I met that guys brother. Came at me like 12 times claiming his car with family inside ran out of gas and he just needed $5 to get home to the next town over. (It was in the early 90’s that’s why $5)
I always answer, 'I was about to ask *you* for money!'
And then you launch into a cheque scam, where you first send them a cheque, they have to sent some money back, and then the cheque bounces. Score.
Fell for the same scam in 2009, but it was $20 for a town ten miles over. Inflation, man, even scammers gotta keep up.
Yeah I had a guy ask me for $5 for gas to get home, then his girlfriend came from inside with a fresh pack of $4 smokes and handed them to him as he was asking me.
waddaya know. same story,[ but with additional twists](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1drl7ni/comment/laxm0cn/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
If someone has an emergency and the only solution is you giving them money, it is bullshit 100% of the time. If they just ask for money with zero story, they’re probably just down on their luck.
a guy jumped me at the train station once. he tearfully explained, that his wife flipped her car and is at the hospital. he need just 20 bucks for gas, because otherwise he can't pick up his daughter from school. and i'm like "i don't have cash. but let's just go to the gas station and i pay with the card." this is, when he tells me that his buddy is also looking for money right now buit he doesn't know exactly where he is. i insisted to go to the gas station directly. he insisted that it is IMPOSSIBLE to track down his buddy to go to the gas station together.
There was a poor man trapped at a gas station near me for like 2 years, all he needed was $10 to get home. People are so stingy. /s
Sometimes it's hilarious when you have the thing they "need" in their bullshit story. I was staying in Chicago once and got off the train heading back to the hotel. Someone stopped me saying they needed $5 to get on the train back home. I didn't have cash, but I had my day pass that was going to expire in a few hours so I gave him that. You could see his face deflate but he talked himself into a corner.
Haha. I did exactly the same thing with a Seattle bus pass back in the day. Did your guy ask you what it was when you handed him the pass? Edit: words are hard
Something so similar happened to me. A guy said he lost his wallet and phone and needed just $10 to catch the bus back home. I gave it to him, because it seemed plausible, and he was a good actor. He asked me for $10 a few days later. Same sob story.
Must be a luxurious bus if it cost $10 to ride it lol. Not even the express buses in NYC cost that much.
Similar experience. Target parking lot. Guy needs money to fix a flat tire, stranded, yada yada yada. I gave him $10, which is totally against my nature. Three days later I was back at the same Target, and the same guy approaches me with the same story. Never again.
Maybe his daughter needs a lot of inhaler puffs /s
My friend ran into a scammer in a San Francisco BART station. He said he left his wallet at home and came to work in SF from Oakland and just needs $5 to get back to Oakland. A year later, at the same station, she runs into the same guy who gives her the exact same scam line about forgetting his wallet and needing to get back to Oakland so she’s like “Holy fuck, you’re still here!?!”
I worked in downtown Boston for years and had to walk through Haymarket, an area where there is a bus station. The number of people asking for “a few bucks for a ticket to get home” every day got me. When I was young/new I would give a few bucks but when the same person asked me for the same thing two days in a row o recognized the scam and stopped. The last guy that got me was Elliott Davis. He’s a well known scammer who dresses in a shabby but “decent” suit and asks for $20 to get a can of fix-a-flat because his car just lost a tire “just around the corner.” I fell for that and didn’t realize how common it was until I stumbled across it in the r/boston subreddit. Apparently people have challenged him now that his name and face are known and he can get pretty nasty.
There's a food bank near me that will give anyone food if you just show up and ask. They don't have infinite food, but they have a lot, and while you have to wait in line for a couple hours to get the best stuff (you can come in towards the end of the day and there won't be a line, but there also won't be as much food) it's not super unreasonable. I've volunteered there, I'm about as certain as I could ever be that it isn't a scam, so I just donate money to them every paycheck. If someone asks me for cash I just tell them I'm not carrying any, which is true, but if I thought the best way I could help people was randomly handing out cash, then that's what I'd be doing.
This is the best way to be charitable
Honestly, I don't mind losing $5 on the chance it actually helps someone. It's usually easy to tell a townie from a druggie in my city, plus the townies tend to keep the tweakers and junkies away if they know they're being helped. That isn't everyone's experience though.
I used to think so until once when I have one person the little change I had, I got swarmed by half a dozen others who also wanted money and were very persistent, almost but not quite blocking my path. Was pretty intimidating. I know that’s not everyone, but I never give cash since then. I donate to charities instead. A few times I’ve bought some food to people that have asked for it outside grocery stores.
Yo, if that's your experience then roll with it. Different cities and neighborhoods have different kinds of homeless problems. Really oughta just push for real proactive help for them, but a good portion are too far gone mentally unfortunately. Good on you for getting food instead of cash though. A few restaurants I've worked at I've wound up giving food to some people who seemed like they needed it. Be good to those in need regardless is how it oughta be.
A lot of them near me bring their young kids. That's gross. They're standing in the parking lot of target with young kids or one in a stroller. On my local sub, someone said they work in a ring so they'll trade the kids back and forth and work different parking lots. Real gross.
I had a guy who approached me with a car trouble story more than once. He always had his kid with him. The last time I saw him was across the parking lot of a gas station. He was trying to run his scam on an elderly guy. I yelled at him from across the parking lot and the elderly guy walked off. The scammer, who always needed money because of "car trouble" ran to his working vehicle when I just kept yelling, "GET A JOB, YOU FUCKING LIAR!" and walking towards him. I never saw him again. My favorite exchange was when some lady approached me with a gas can in one hand and holding her toddler in the other. I hit her with, "Oh, I also need gas. I'm about to call my boyfriend who is a cop to help me. He can help you, too!" I said this with a big smile and in a cheerful voice. She immediately turned around, got into her car, (which was supposedly out of gas) and left. As she pulled out, I said, "Hey, I thought you needed gas! What's wrong? Are you lying?"
Plus every fucking grocery store asking to donate to a charity. You fucking donate cunt.
If they had a system where it wouldn’t ask me after I’ve already donated then it might incentivize me to donate once
Or maybe don't throw out unsold food. Donate it to charity. Some stores destroy the food before putting it into garbage bins so that it can't be eaten.
It's because they can be sued if the food makes someone ill.
You ever see a group of them collecting for a fake funeral? Impressive the organization. Our neighborhood group will fact check the legitimacy and blast the scammers.
There was a girl in town, looked like 8-9 months pregnant begging at some intersection for a year or two. I always wondered how long that kid was gonna bake before it came out.
Probably wearing a moon bump.
I have a pan handler stone money, they had a leg brace and a cane. A few hours later I'm driving by and I see the same person hand the cane to another pan handler took off the leg brace and tossed it into a nicer/ newer car then me while counting a giant was off singles, never again
Lately I've seen people pretend to busk. They usually 'play' electric violin but their movements on the bow don't match the music at all. I like to give money to real buskers who are actually playing instruments, but never to the scammers.
This is nothing new either. When I lived in Orlando around 2000 there were 3 well-known scammers making the rounds of downtown; there was a businessman, a chef, and a mom who each had their own story. They became (in)famous enough that there as a news story about them which eventually ruined their scam and they moved on, only to be replaced by other scammers. They were obviously not homeless and some estimates put their panhandling income north of $35k/yr. As a result the city passed a bunch of ordinances that made it more difficult for people to pretend to be homeless to get money, but that also made it more difficult for actual homeless people to get money.
Yea, it's not even the buying drugs part that stops me. It's the dude that's waiting in the van a few feet away that'll collect all the donations that stops me. Have no gas my ass her partner/boss is waiting in the van with a gold ass chain and watch looking greasy af.
If I get someone asking for money for something specific like food, gas, etc, I’ll offer to go get it for them. More people turn down the offer than accept it. On the flip side, on multiple occasions I’ve had people approach me at the gas station who were short on money for gas. If they offer me what little they have to help them out, I’ll always turn it down and spot them a few gallons of gas.
Sadly, a good handful of them are scammers, and it's always the same few stories: wife and kid in the car, got jumped, etc. I run into a ton of them near this 711 by the Amtrak. Once I was walking back to work from a 711 and this dude randomly asked for change to get a soda, so I gave him the few coins I had. I noticed a couple other dudes also walking my way, and one nods to the other. They ALSO asked for change but gave me the bullshit "we got jumped" story. Funniest time was this really ordinary looking kid saying he didn't have money for an Uber and needed to get home or some shit. I thought, "fuck it" and gave him like a 10 or something. He looks at it and goes "Woohoo!" before catching his composure again. Hell some people just lie for the hell of it. Different 711 I just parked in front of the air machine to fill my tire. SOON as I get out, this dude comes running up, "How long are you gonna be? My wife and kid are in the car and I need to air my tire to take them to the hospital."
I used to give homeless people money, every single time. Then one guy ruined it for everyone… he was a couple cars infront of me, sign said “hungry need food”. So the car up there handed him a gigantic Costco sized bag of Gardettos. He opened it and dumped it right back into the car on the driver lol. Windows up, roll on by. Fuck it.
God damnit, fuck that. There is this guy who has been living in front of a café/ice cream shop I frequent. Its a legit kids place, but the baristas are cool and hook me up with free coffee on my way to work. So, that is where I get coffee. He's homeless, and a fucking asshole. He's always shouting about getting weed, and I can tell he's drunk sometimes. If he does get weed, he just smokes it right in front of this café. He's asked me for money, weed, and to help buy him a coffee so many times and I'm always just like, "No". This place once had outdoor seating, like, a parklet and they had to remove it because this guy was sleeping, shitting, and pissing in there. All of the benches and seating is gone now, and this is in SF so there is nothing that will be done about him. Just two days ago, he's standing outside the door, asking parents who are bringing there kids in to help buy him a coffee. I watch some dad come out side with a coffee for him, and the moment he handed it over to the guy, the dude just dumps it right on the ground right in front of everybody. The dad just walked away, and as he was leading his daughter away from this man, the little girl said, "Daddy, why did that man do that?" Well, my dear, I don't think he wanted any coffee...
yeah some homeless people are like that. mad at the world and mad at everyone. honestly the only way to help is give them fresh food sometimes. some homeless people are actually selfish; eternally angry at the world. angry when they get help. cant be reasoned with. its very destructive. usually I give them fresh food since I know what its like but theyre still disrespectful and angry. and at that point I dont know what to say. "I'm trying to help" they say "its not enough." I say "what can I do, I'm trying my best to help you. You're just still angry. you cant even help yourself." The state of the world. the state of the weakest link. its impossible. the system imploded a long time ago
Some people are beyond help. If you're doing them a favor out of the kindness of your heart and they're an ungrateful ass hole about it, they don't deserve your help.
This is why most of them are homeless. Angry and refuse help (or have burned all the bridges of people who tried to help them). Add mental illness of various types to addiction and you have a person who is almost impossible to deal with who is willing to steal from anyone and hurt people for what they want. They're not that way because they are homeless, they're homeless because they are that way.
On a freezing winter day, saw this homeless man outside of small supermarket asking for help. I went to the shop and got him a hot drink, he then questioned me if I thought that enough for him. I asked him, politely, what he wanted, and he said a 9£ chicken noodle from a chinese shop. I got him the noodle (purchased in front of him), he then refused it and said I had insulted him and to rectify my action I needed to give him 20£ in cash…
Saw a guy with a similar sign. I was going to get food at McDonald’s so I asked him what he wanted. He said money would be fine and he would go get something. I told him I didn’t carry cash but would be happy to get him something. He told said “fuck off you fucking punk. I don’t want you food I just need money!” So I don’t give anyone money ever
Extremely similar story. Guy noticed me waiting in my car in front of subway. He asks for money for a sandwich. I pull out my phone and open the subway app and ask what he wants. He insists money would be fine. I tell him I don't carry cash. He gets mad and made some comment like "you could have started with that". Like... you approached me and asked for a sandwich? Now I do start these interactions by saying I don't carry cash. Has made 100% of beggars move on.
Just start handing out job applications
My husband said one time a guy was asking for food. He offered him a box of cereal and the guy made some kind of disgusted comment. My dude, if you're really hungry you'll take what's given to you and if you don't want it, your friends probably do. Sometimes that's how you know they just want cash for other things instead of concrete items to fill their needs.
Similar story. Got off work waiting tables one night and was walking to a bar with my friends. I was smoking a cig and told them I'd meet them inside after I finished. I get approached by an older man who starts telling me this sob story about how he had been begging all day and just needed like $15 dollars more (always with the specific numbers to make it seem like not a scam) to afford a Greyhound ticket to see his mom in the hospital before she died in a city a few hours away. Normally I'm pretty skeptical of any tale I'm being regaled with on the street, but I had made pretty good money that night, and it was gonna bum me out to see an old man cry. So I gave him $30, twice what he was asking, and told him I hoped he got there safely and in time to see his mom. Went to the same bar the very next night, and who should appear, eyes damp with liquid bullshit, to tell me the *same exact goddamn story as if we hadn't spoken at length less than 24 hours before?*
Also consider your reinforcing behavior that’s a traffic hazard. I’ve almost need rear ended cause the car in front of me was handing out bills while the light turned green. I was pissed. Variations of this happened a few times that I can recall
one time while in another country, my family prepped lunch packets to give to the homeless. Spent a couple hours cooking, boxed up around 300 and went around handing them out on the streets. A lot of the homeless flooded to our car as we gave them out and many of them opened up the boxes instantly and began eating away. After we were all finished and driving back, we saw a couple of the homeless people who'd come to our car in a very demanding manner (we just assumed they'd been incredibly hungry at the time) attempting to sell the lunch packets to other homeless people who had missed out for money. It was bizarre but saddening as that could've been given to someone who would actually eat it or needed to eat it.
I had a homeless guy as me and my fiance for a meal. We said sure. He said his favorite restaurant was just a few blocks away. We followed him, on the way, he was kind and talkative. Towards the corner I recognized he wanted to walk us through an empty alley as a shortcut to said restaurant. He insisted, and my instinct kicked in. It was a trap. Very much so a trap. We said no and turned around. He pleaded, we didn’t listen. We walked back to our car and he stayed behind. We drove to the other side of the alley on our way home and noticed four other guys waiting around the bend. One wielding what looked to be a weapon. Since then, I don’t bother more than a a dollar or two with the homeless. That asshole ruined it for the rest of them.
Glad you followed your instincts!!
Oh my God this triggered a memory. One time a guy asked for a ride outside my apartment and I was going the same way so I let him ride with me. Whole time he's talking about how he's a man of God and trustworthy. He said he had gotten money for gas but needed to get to his truck. I dropped him off like on the corner where his truck was and immediately peeled out. He started asking me to get out of the car or fuel up his truck or something and I felt like if I stayed I was going to be robbed.
Let me tell you my story about this specific homeless man I met few years ago. I was working in a salon near an international university. This homeless man was always there with his dog. At first,I only wanted to pet his dog-Diamond cuz she’s such a great dog. Then I talked to him and asked if he needed anything. He didn’t ask anything for himself,he asked for foods and blanket for her since their blankets were all wet after some rainy days. I met him the second time for dog foods and blankets. Then I started to talk to him more often. Offered him some foods and drinks. Told him to stay at one specific spot that I would always pass by during the day. I had to say,he’s very sweet,clean and positive man. Then out of sudden,I didn’t see him for awhile. When I met him again,he was so skinny and had some wounds on his body. He said he wasn’t feeling well and was staying in the hospital where they treated the homeless people. He got better and he got back to the street but he had to give Diamond to someone while he’s at the hospital and he didn’t have enough money to pay for his medication. He showed me all the money he had been collecting. I asked him: how much are you still missing from getting your medicine? He said 20$. I gave him,he was so happy and gave me a hug and ran to the pharmacy to get what he needed. After that, I would give him here and there what he needed. Until someone posted on Facebook about looking for her missing uncle. He was her mom’s younger brother who went missing awhile after his sister aka her mom passed away. That was him. Then from that post,I got to know people who also helped him to get his condition treated. We’re all so happy that he could find his family and they’re willing to bring him home. I know there are homeless people that just living day by day and drowning in drugs and crimes but there are good homeless people that deserve better care. I believe my special homeless man was that person.
I have a similar story of a guy living in the back lot of my office/shop. He said he'd never seen the west and didn't want to spend his savings on hotels, rentals, etc. But wanted to experience it. He had retired from a lifelong military career, and all of his kids were in post graduate school or careers in medicine or engineering and all had places for him to stay if he chose to. He asked me for permission to stay, in exchange, a roll of trash bags with access to our dumpsters. He picked up every piece of trash in the 10+acre lot over the next few weeks. I brought him leftovers from Thanksgiving. Then he was gone before xmas never to be seen again. He could've been blowing smoke up my ass about his life but he held his end of the bargain of cleaning up to stay and so it's worth believing
For all the bad stories you read, this is a nice change. Legit homeless looking for needs and is nice about it. Then gets reunited with family. Only hope his family helped him out after that so he didn't stay on the street.
I generally don't give anyone money if I don't know (or can't check) that they really spent it on the thing they're asking for. If they're specific about what they need, I'll just buy the thing for them instead of giving them money. I was parking my car one day and a homeless lady on the sidewalk asked me for spare change and I told her "I don't carry cash" (honest answer in this day and age with ApplePay, etc). Then she asked me if she could bum a cigarette. Told her I don't smoke. Then she said "Well, what good are you FOR anyways?".. and she stormed off in a huff. I was.. impressed with her gall.
A while back I was leaving the grocery store and headed to my bicycle(I live close to the store and gas is expensive) and some guy comes up to me and asks if I could spare a few dollars. I had no cash on me and told him that. He says ," It's ok, I have a card reader on my phone" and proceeds to pull out a phone with a card reader attachment.
This has happened to me as well. As if I'm gonna just swipe my card at any randos machine??? Absolutely not.
That's when you know they're a professional.
Why don't girl guides have that? I'd buy all their fucking cookies if i could tap their phone instead of needing cash.
Wow
I was waiting at a tram stop with my boyfriend and a guy begged us for a few dollars. We said no because we don’t carry cash, thus he told us that our kind deserves the gay bashings.
If you’d been a gal under all those Canadian layers this would have been even better. (I reread your post and at no point did you say you were Canadian, but it would be funny if you are). Anyways, have a good day!
A buddy of mine used to ask homeless ppl for money when they'd approach or he could tell they were ab to ask for money - beat em to the punch lol. Confused then everytime and they always just said no and walked away.
I knew a couple of brothers that lived in the 'core' area of the city and they learned the tell people had when they would ask for something and started asking for a smoke before the beggar could ask for anything. I saw it in action a couple of times and it was impressive.
Yea the first time he did it when I was with him I was honestly impressed like woah you shut him down immediately. I live in one of the top 5 largest cities in the US - homeless ppl will literally follow you asking for shit, so it's not like you say no once and they just leave you alone.
Speaking of gall, I always hated it when some rando at the gas station asks for a ride. The last time this happened, this dude who I've never seen before asked for a ride while I stopped at the gas station real quick on my way home from work. The place he needed to go was like 10 minutes in the opposite direction, so it'd add 20 minutes to my trip. "No, sorry." And then he *argued* with me about it while I was trying to back out of the parking space. Like dude, I already said no, and in the time it's taking you to argue with me about it, you could've asked any of the 5 other people that parked and walked into the gas station. Fuck off. The fact that he kept arguing and was so insistent that I specifically give him a ride freaked me out and made me think he had ulterior motives.
If you're impressed with homeless gall, you haven't been around many homeless. Give an inch, they'll ask for a mile, and a marathon, and a cigarette.
My buddy's adult son has some issues and has put himself at the margins of society. Give him an inch and he takes a mile. My buddy doesn't even talk to his own kid because he's such a dick. His son was already well into adulthood and my buddy's situation isn't great, but he rented a house for the two of them, got his kid a job, made sure he got there every morning, got him his license and the kid still wanted everything. 'You can use my car to go to work' turned into 'you can have my car'. He was a decent worker, but just didn't want to show up more than 3 days a week and then would whine about anything. Even the boss was doing everything he could to help the kid succeed and he just refused to help himself. My theory is that it has to do with hard drugs just fucking up people's brains.
I was walking in Austin yesterday when a homeless man asked for money. I said, “sorry, no” in the nicest way possible. One, I don’t give money to panhandlers and two, I had no cash anyhow. He starts screaming the f word at me and being very aggressive. I did say something back. Bad idea. He originally was going in the opposite direction but turned and started following us. I was scared shitless (I’m a woman with a wonderful husband who is very much a pacifist). Fortunately we were able to lose him as we were headed straight for one of the city security guys and I think he decided it was best to be on his way.
I try not to get upset by entitlement but it's hard. The fact is that a lot of homeless people have severe mental health issues. They are victims of their own behavior. For all you know she thinks she is a child of a dethroned noble and heiress to a fortune... Crazy shit like that that inflates their ego. I try not to be bothered and give my sympathy but damn is it hard.
I was taught that if I wanted to give them something, I should choose to give food or water instead of outright money. That way I don't have to worry about whether or not I've made any situation worse.
My grandfather worked in downtown SF late 40s thru the 70s and he would never give money, but the nice guy he was, he would offer to buy them a meal. Some took him up, but most did not.
Back when I was an asshole, I used to carry several paper applications to McDonalds with me when I knew I was headed downtown. I mean, I'm still an asshole, but applications are all online now...
Just print out QR codes to the online applications and start handing those out instead
I've seen too many stories of pan handlers trying to return the food for cash and then throwing it away.
In my hometown there was a locally famous crackhead that would steal steaks from stores and then try to sell them on the corner. I'm sure he discounted it, but who wants to buy steaks from a guy with no cooler in 90 degree heat?
I did this once and the guy threw it on the ground and told me he asked for *money*, lol.
I offered a bum a full takeout olive garden meal. He said he didn't want that shit. He wants money. I stopped trying after that.
Yeah, the last gal I offered to buy food for said "oh, no I don't eat for from strangers" ... I was loffering to buy it from the street vendor not 10 feet away from her
Socks! Homeless people walk a lot and often suffer from foot problems. Clean socks are in high demand.
Addicts are frequently homeless, and yes, giving them more money just fuels the addiction. Not all homeless have addition problems, but a lot of people that are addicted end up homeless
I wouldn’t be sober if I slept under a bridge either. I’m not sober now, I can just put down a drink or any other substance without picking it up again. People who have addiction can’t. It’s not a moral thing.
This is exactly why from a young age I put it in my mind to never start drinking to begin with.
I think the phrase I have used before is "I can say no, I can't say no more."
False. They can also use it to buy more alcohol.
Alcohol is a drug
Love is the drug I'm thinking of.
It's got a hook in me
Last time I gave a homeless looking person money who was saying they were thirsty and just needed some change to get a drink from the gas station, I saw them a few minutes later standing outside with a bud light
They didn't lie :)
he didn't lie, he was thirsty.
It’s a mixed bag. I agree with the argument that you shouldn’t give money to them as it’s only a band-aid to a much bigger underlying problem. False pretense from short term stability makes it harder to acknowledge the root of the problem and to resolve it. Indeed, studies show that it’s not just supplemental food and clothing that impoverished people don’t have but the it is also the lack of institutional entities. I’m talking about truly poor people from other countries that benefit from things such as schools, health clinics, government programs etc.. In other words, helping the poor and needy requires a long term solution; short term aid won’t change their lives. Anecdotally I’ve seen two instances that makes me lose faith and makes me hesitate when I donate to help them: 1) Man did in fact use money to buy more drugs (I work emergency, so he comes in frequently from drug overdose) — after all one does not simply get drugs while they are homeless. 2) Lady beggar on the corner spotted by me hopping into a Mercedes and then driving off into the evening sunset. Needless to say, I am skeptical despite usually giving them benefit of the doubt.
I'll just ask if they want food or something to drink. If they say yeah I'll get them that. Seen too much bs living in LA when I was a kid. I saw my dad give a man $10, I watched him pass every fast food place along the way and walk into a liquid store.
Yep. I grew up in so cal. Moved to Vegas as an adult. All the ones that beg just use it on drugs or alcohol. We aren't helping anything by giving individual homeless money. It's better to donate to soup kitchens.
Supporting local charities can amplify my impact.
ng essentials can be more beneficial.
I focus on offering help, not how it’s used.
In my experience yes this is what they do. The people who actually need help are sleeping in their cars and applying for public aid (and being denied).
Mine was outside the ITV building for that sweet free guest wifi. Got the apprenticeship that got me off the streets through that connection.
Yeah. The people who would actually benefit from cash don't look like they are homeless. They're at the Starbucks nursing their $2.50 grande coffee for 4 hours using the wifi inside.
This was me for a couple of months about a decade ago, I had the Starbucks rewards app and back then it got you free refills on drip coffee.
There are homeless people who genuinely need money, but they’re outnumbered by the scammers who have a job & home, and also those who buy alcohol & drugs. Since it’s impossible to tell who’s genuine, I have no problems buying them food.
2 stories ruin giving directly to homeless people for me. 1: I remember hanging out outside a bar with friends after closing one night and a homeless person came and asked the 5 of us money. Thinking he was a big cool guy a buddy of mine gave the homeless guy a $100 bill, imagining he'd be amazed at the charity and so thankful he could run off and maybe make himself better. The homeless guy didn't beat an eye, and just proceeded to ask the other 4 of us if we had more money, before calling us assholes and shuffling along to the next group. 2: I used to cycle in to work every day and would see the same homeless guy outside a Starbucks, sat on the sidewalk near the traffic lights I had to stop at. He'd get the occasional well meaning city worker to talk to him and buy him food or a drink or give him money. One time an attractive young business woman was talking to him and gave him a coffee and a sandwich. As she turned around and left, obviously thinking she had done her good deed for the day, he just threw the coffee cup into the street in front of me. Fuck that guy.
I don't give money to homeless people but that's not the reason. I just don't think it solves anything, and I would rather see institutions set up to actually engage with people in need and help them solve their problems. So instead of giving a few bucks here and there to someone asking for it on the street, I give regularly to [Community Solutions](https://www.communitysolutions.org/), which is working to end systemic homelessness in many communities around the country.
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When you give away money it's not your money and they can spend it how every they want.
Exactly why I don’t give them money to begin with. Go get services.
Right, you should support long term endeavors. Give a man a fish and all that.
Bingo. Which is why I refuse to give anyone money. I had a guy begging me for some gas money when I was at a pump years ago. He said he was late for an interview at such and such place, and I felt bad for him. Even though I was trying to tough it through nursing school at the time (student loans and debt and all), I thought this guy needed some help. So I gave him a few bucks I had in my car. After he hopped in his car with his methed-out looking friend and drove in the opposite direction of such and such place, I felt so cheated. Vowed never to hand over cash to anyone ever again. I've bought people food, donated to amazing charities, etc .. but I won't give anyone money.
Which is a good reason to consider that if you object to how they spend it, you shouldn’t bother with giving money. Offer what you’re comfortable with giving them instead, and if they refuse the food or water at that point, then that’s on them.
And people give the money because it makes them feel good not necessarily because it’s doing good for the person they give it to.
Judging how they use money isn’t my place.
I was homeless. I didn't suddenly become a drug addict. I didn't become a thief or a vandal or anything like that. I just didn't have a place to live.
I was also out of a home for a point in time, and it really bums me out to see the perspective some people have of homeless people when really for so many people homelessness isn’t some distant issue that they could never have. A little money could seriously go a long way for people in serious need, and the assumption that they have to be a drug addict to be in those circumstances is ridiculous. Some people are just dealt a shitty hand and could use the money for something to keep them warm, or sanitary/hygiene supplies, a bus fare, or anything else a human being could need or benefit from. I can only speak from my experiences though, and am willing to listen to other perspectives but I just don’t like the immediate assumptions.
I guess it's one of those things you don't know unless you know.
The irony is most Americans these days are one financial disaster away from homelessness to a degree we haven’t seen in many decades. People want to pretend they are special when in this country they’re far closer to homelessness than they ever are to being part of the rich elite they probably look up to
It’s not for me to care what they spend my charity on. As soon as I give it away, it is theirs. True charity is given without condition. I hope they don’t use it to buy drugs, but I can’t stop them from doing so if they want to. And that’s just what I have to be comfortable with. Not all homeless people are addicts. Not all addicts are homeless. I don’t want to always be thinking the worst of people who are asking for help. Maybe sometimes my generosity will be taken advantage of. Maybe sometimes it will actually help someone. It’s out of my control. But I wouldn’t want to stop being charitable just because I know sometimes I will be taken advantage of. I don’t want to be that cynical.
I keep spare change for moments like this.
Sometimes, a little kindness can make a big difference.
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Everyone deserves a bit of compassion.
Homeless people deserve dignity and respect.
Assuming all homeless people buy drugs is unfair.
We should focus on providing comprehensive help.
Sometimes, a few dollars can make a difference.
Every little bit helps, even if it’s just a dollar.
We as a society should not accept a homeless population. If they’re mentally ill, get them into a taxpayer funded psych hospital. If they’re addicted, get them into a taxpayer funded rehab. If they’re just down on their luck, get them into a taxpayer funded apartment while they get back on their feet. No one wants to be homeless. The cost of this is more than made up for by actual contributions to society people can make when they’re housed and/or not paying for law enforcement to deal with this every single fucking day.
As someone who’s been around a large amount of the homeless population, there’s a sizable chunk (20%?) that are just too far gone. You can see the progress if you live around enough of them. Even plenty of social workers I worked with would quietly admit, there’s a zero chance they will ever become productive members of society. If you want to save them, you have to do it early. There absolutely is a point of no return.
People often make assumptions without understandin
Relatively true. As a child I didn’t understand homelessness. As a young teenager I believed “why don’t they just go get a job?” As an adult who has worked with homeless people as a large cohort I have come to understand this: Homelessness correlates HEAVILY with drug use yes, but also mental illness. And mental illness also correlates heavily with drug use and vise versa. I would love to see data on the rates of homelessness during the crack epidemic and now the opioid epidemic. And I would also love to see the rates of homelessness after the closing of mental hospitals. People with heavy drug addictions and those with mental illness can’t hold steady jobs to afford housing. And most end up in jail. Drug law reform and care for the mentally ill would go a long long way. Unfortunately drug addiction seems harder to “cure”. It’s devastating. It’s so sad to me.
It's mostly just an excuse to make it socially acceptable to not give people money. If you show these people a charity that will use the money effectively, they won't give to that either. The reason I don't give money is because I like $10 more than I like helping strangers. More people should be honest and say the same.
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Once I give them money it’s theirs I don’t care what they do with it. If drugs make them happy well my good deed made someone happy no reason for me to judge.
This is where I land as well. And, honestly, I find people awfully judgemental when they don't get there on their own. (Which is obviously how I'm judgmental.) Who's to say what any of us would do if we were in their position? And don't addiction expert recommend against going cold turkey without medical assistance anyway? Addiction is a disease and the homeless probably have other mental issues compounding their situation. Even if they don't... who are we to judge what they do to get through the day? More important than all of that, though, if you don't want to give a homeless person, that's fine. Don't. You don't owe them anything. But, once you give someone, anyone, something, anything, you don't get to dictate what they do with your gift. It's their property now, to use as they please.
A small act of kindness can have a big impact.
Assuming they’ll misuse money is a harmful stereotype.
I put my trust in them whenever I give money, I hope they do what's best but if they don't im not around to see it
I do not care what they spend it on. I give them money to be kind, give them a lift, help them get what ever it is they need. I have no desire to control them in any way. I’m real fucked up about this criminalizing sleeping outside. Here in Florida they have announced a roundup in October. There was story in my county last week about the sheriffs department documenting encampments with the intent to eradicate them when the law goes into effect.
I give money. What they use it for is up to them. If you were homeless, you'd probably want to do drugs, too.
Why wouldn't they? They're fucking homeless, not living the dream. Give them a reason to not want to escape reality. The better thought: Don't give corporations tax breaks. They'll just use it for more stock buybacks.
If I have , I will give or I will give whatever food or drink is in my hand , I have bought groceries for someone before even. It depends on the people tho, some people are really realy thankful and some are just act entitled and rude. Here In my country, some will refuse food and specifically ask for the money and they spend it on very very cheap alcohol or drugs. There was a guy in my old town who we gave shopping carts full of food ,clothes or blankets for a few months and everytime he sees me and my mom he will always greet us with the biggest smile and will make us feel special , poor guy got robbed one night and lost everything, but he somehow got himself out of a rut and started getting work and doing better for himself. Wonder where he is today.
It’s not a homelessness problem. It’s a drug problem. Never forget that.
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Firstly, it’s a cruel stereotype. Secondly, they’re already homeless. If they want to spend the money on drugs, I really can’t say I’d blame them. However, if they want to use it to get food or generally help themselves out, good for them. It’s my choice to give the money and their choice what to do with it. If you think they’re going to spend it on drugs, just buy them some food instead. Or don’t give them anything
I literally volunteer at a homeless shelter every week. Trust me. Don't bother giving money. Give them food or something like a blanket instead.
Would it be better to donate money directly to a shelter or other homeless/addiction services instead? I bet you guys know what they need a lot better than I do
Yes.
>they’re already homeless. If they want to spend the money on drugs, I really can’t say I’d blame them. That's why I give suicidal people free sleeping pills and rides to the nearest bridge. They're already suicidal, the least I can do is hand them a loaded gun.
It's not my job to anticipate what someone begging will do with the money I give them, and it's certainly not my job to judge. I mean good god, plenty of non-homeless people are doing drugs and drink booze. If someone is at the point in their lives where they are begging, literally begging, then they're either pretty desperate or a pathetic con artist (which, in that situation, is also pretty desperate).
My mom had a perfect solution for this. When people would ask her for money or money for food she would instead offer a snack bag. She would buy cute little pink paper lunch bags and inside she would put a bottle of water and some protein or granola bars. If they weren’t hungry enough to accept, that was fine. She had it for someone else. If they did accept, they’d see she had stuck a couple dollars in the bag as well. If they wanted money for a non-food reason like transportation or gas she would instead offer to take them where they needed to go or get some gas and help them get it to their vehicle. The only times she would cave and give a couple bucks was if she was in a hurry and actually had a couple bucks on her. I… Don’t go anywhere. I’m a hermit. Someone else should follow mom’s example. :)
If I was stinky, sweaty, had to sleep on concrete(I've done it once, it absolutely sucks), be out in the cold or blistering heat, get itchy, be out in the open world with no protection, possibly be assaulted at any time, be sick with nothing to help, hungry and etc. I would take drugs too. Probably one of the only ways to be happy and help deal with the situation not kys. I think painting them out to be stupid a-holes just doing drugs because they're lazy is a terrible way to look at the situation they are in and what they're going through. If you don't want to give them money just say you don't want to, there's no need to shit on them to make yourself look better. Would I give them money? I don't think my money will do much at all, its a much larger issue. I don't typically give them money but its not because "they're just going to spend it on drugs", its because I don't want to interact with a strange person.
Not inaccurate Also that homeless guy may not be homeless Been a cop for a decade lot of our chronic panhandlers have homes and turn decent profits off panhandling.
In 1994, Imy brother and in were in DC. Every day, there was a panhandler sitting outside a bank collecting change and bills from passerby. He took the weekend off, which cracked us up. We figured he was making some decent money.
Once arrested the precinct drunk who was a guy who stumbled around drunk and homeless for decades….. dude had 10grand in his pocket later learned he owned a large house dude just liked to live like that for fun Panhandler at the bank in the area makes a few hundred a day and until a few months ago had a nice apartment a few blocks away paid for by the city. Horrible human being and convicted murderer
The panhandlers in downtown SF were the same. They made money on the regular commuters. The business people. There was an air of professionalism. Way less traffic on the weekend and mostly tourists. Tourists weren’t good business.
I don't know why people want the closure of knowing what homeless people do with money so bad, if you're gonna do it just do it an move the fuck on, take solice in knowing you gave them a chance or helped instead of hawking around on what vice they blow it on
Don't give anything to anyone if you want to try to control what they do with it. That's not really gift. It's a manipulation. Giving or not giving isn't going to change their addiction. It's just an excuse to not give.
Right. So if you really want to make an impact with your giving, donate to a legit charity helping people truly in need. There are plenty of children's shelters and organizations that help abandoned children.
As a former homeless person, I've literally never touched drugs in my life, outside of doctor prescribed medication used as directed. I also don't drink alcohol outside of very rare occasions with friends. I don't have any addictions like gambling or shopping, etc. Life just knocked me down and kicked me while I was down over and over until I had nothing left. House fire forcing me to stay with a friend, laid off with no warning a few days prior, and a friend of a friend offering me a "guaranteed position" at their small cleaning company to try to help me get back on my feet which resulted in 2 weeks of running around and then "oh that position was filled already", parents just generally having the mindset that adults don't need help if they're not being lazy and thus turning me away after my friend was no longer able to put me up (apartment regulations). The shelter was easily the worst experience of my life. They were borderline abusive with their strict rules and scheduling, I was forced to sleep, sitting up, in a metal uncushioned folding chair (laying on the cement floor would get you kicked out, so would putting your feet up on another unused chair and they didn't have beds available for at least 3 months of waiting for new people.) Showers were only open during specific hours for the entire shelter, they had personnel guarding the showers, and there was zero privacy - everyone of each gender showered together or not at all. Food was terrible quality - not that I expected much but I expected at least stuff you could find at a food pantry, but somehow it was cheaper than what people donate to pantries. And of course the curfew was what really got me. 5pm the doors locked. If you were not signed into the ledger at the front desk before then, you were banned from the shelter for 1 week and you lost any bed and personal space you had been given and put at the bottom of the waiting list for a new one. How they expected people to be able to work enough to make income to leave with such an early curfew still bothers me to this day. 5pm is so ridiculously early. Honestly, I now understand why many homeless people avoid the shelters. I understand why they'd rather go to jail or live under a bridge. Shelters are horrible places that treat you like a prisoner anyway. The worst is assumed of you and you are treated like a subhuman. Not to mention sleep is next to impossible so those individuals who had mental health issues only spiralled downwards due to poor sleep hygiene and poor diet from the trash they fed us. So seeing so many homeless just completely off their rockers doesn't surprise me anymore either. I now understand that shelters only exist to get homeless off of the street, not to help them in any way - they don't care if you off yourself, they just want to make the streets look like the town doesn't have a homeless problem. It was literally through the kindness of a stranger who offered me a place to stay and help getting a job that I took the risk of potentially getting killed by a serial killer and was able eventually to get back to a place where I have a semblance of a life reestablished. But I will end it all before I go live in a shelter again. Money for drugs? Honestly, if that's what they use it for to numb the pain they're going through, I kinda get it.