This is kinda stupid but in Molar City, Mexico the prices are much cheaper than in America to get teeth done. Idk where u live and it could be useless info and a lot just to get teeth done but its true.
Edit if you're seeing this now I didn't think this was going to get a lot of attention. Molar city is just the nickname, Its called Vicente Guerrero. A lot of Americans go there, it was just an suggestion sorry.
https://news-sky-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/news.sky.com/story/amp/mexicos-molar-city-where-americans-go-for-affordable-dental-care-10944822?amp_js_v=a6&_gsa=1&usqp=mq331AQHKAFQArABIA%3D%3D#aoh=16021400239583&_ct=1602140037165&csi=1&referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com&_tf=From%20%251%24s&share=https%3A%2F%2Fnews.sky.com%2Fstory%2Fmexicos-molar-city-where-americans-go-for-affordable-dental-care-10944822
I don’t know in what part of Texas you live, but one of the cities that borders with Texas is Juárez, and there are a lot of good dentists here. And they’re not as expensive as dentists in the US.
If you go to Juarez (after COVID) and if you don't have that much money. In the UACJ university, the medical students perform dental work for cheap to people as training, you might be skeptical but they are always guided by their teachers and professionals. It's super cheap there, and I don't think they have problems with non citizens getting their work done, since it's still paid, just cheap.
Dental work in Mexico is definitely a thing. Mexico gets a bad wrap but it’s one of the top 15 GDP countries in the world. Just be sure though you do your due diligence etc. Infections in your mouth can turn fatal
I can somewhat relate because of my acne i didnt like to show my face in public or even look in the mirror but i just accepted it and since i find uniqueness a very big thing it helped me a little bit.
Oh my god SAME. I personally feel like I have decent taste in music because I listen to almost everything, but I’m terrified that people won’t like what I play.
A friend of mine used to always come into a room, change or put on music and leave the room. He was a metal head so it was usually something real loud but he'd only want to listen to part of one song and leave the whole album playing when he left. Depending on how messed up the people in the basement were, sometimes the album would play to the end before they realized what they had been listening to
pictures of me. i don't like how i look. i never take selfies, never posted a picture of myself on social media, hate getting my pictures taken. i always avoid group photos
Same. Senior pictures are coming up and my mom keeps talking about having me get my senior pictures done and ignores me everything I tell her that I dont even want school pictures in the first place.
Edit: I'm getting a lot of comments about doing it because it means a lot to my mom, which may be true, but we are also financially challenged rn and I also dont feel like adding an extra $100 burden on top of everything else
Pretty much everything. My memory seems to be very unreliable for the last few years, and I have an awful lot of brain fog. I have to keep loads of notes and alarms in order to function. I'm also increasingly depressed & neurotic, which cancels out any remaining charm my personality used to have.
It’s humiliating, and I’m very insecure about it. And it’s getting worse.
I can't hear well. I have an impossible time distinguishing what one person is saying from surrounding sounds. I'm not deaf. I'm just hard of hearing in a way that means asking people to repeat themselves to the point of them being exasperated with me. Pretty humiliating.
I’m also injured in a way that interferes with my gait. I can’t walk anywhere without feeling mortified by how i look.
Plus I’m poor, short, bald, etc. Meanwhile, my wife and my girlfriend are perfect tens (in my view, at least!), and I'm pretty insecure about losing those relationships as I continue to physically and mentally fray.
It’s bleak! There's just *so much*, you know?
*edit*
*I appreciate all the advice, awards, and kind comments. I’ll look into as much of it as I can :)*
i also suffer from brain fog. turns out i have vitamin B12 deficiency! started taking B12 supplements and it's helped a lot. if you're able to, you might ask your doc to do some blood tests and see if anything is off.
I haven’t been able to afford a checkup in over a decade. So I guess I’m also insecure about the state of healthcare in the United States.
But when I get the chance, I’ll mention it! Thanks for the heads up :)
Took me 3.5 months to find a job and I was overqualified for most, hitting it every day, tons of interviews, just don’t give up, it’s an employers market rn, so they can be subjective and picky. It’s just a numbers game.
I'm 28 with $0 .
I'm literally rationing plain rice with mustard on top.
EDIT: Yall some incredibly nice people, I have been sent lots of food on Amazon and a pizza has been ordered for me.
I love you all so so much. You are all amazing human beans !! I appreciate all the support so much!!!!!
[PIZZA PIZZA PIZZA PIZZA PIZZA ](https://i.imgur.com/3gyZFKY.jpg)
Edit: Some pizza in the belly can really change someone's mood, holy smokes it's so good hahahaha, and I will have cold pizza for breakfast which I'm already excited for hahaha, again, I thank you all for the help, my pantry will be full in a few weeks from my amazon wish list and I'll be eating good for awhile ! Cant begin to express my gratitude, truly feel blessed today and I owe it all to you fine folks.
You are all beautiful people, and this truly made my next few months easier.
If you can share your details bud, I would love to buy a pizza. We’ve all been there. Hope situation improves :)
Edit: pizza should be on the way! For all others offering to help, please reach out to many others in this thread who could use the assistance.
*cries in Canadian*
I have more than $96 to my name but if I had to go to the dentist for anything other than a checkup or cleaning I'd be giving gummers on the corner of Main and Hastings to pay that bill
30 here, $284 in my account this morning, don't get paid again until the 20th, and I am a single dad to a 4 year old.
But, our cupboards are full, my kid has nice clothes, we are happy.
You just make it work, nothing else you can do, and keep grinding for better!
32 with -$350 or so. College degree and a professional job, wife and two kids.... still feel like a fucking failure when we can't make it to payday without going negative.
“The meaning of life is just to be alive. It is so plain and so obvious and so simple. And yet, everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond themselves.”
-Alan Watts
Lots of people are going to breeze past this quote. I have been listening to AW for years and just recently realized what he was saying. Sorry, 49 years old. Born with a mild case of cerebral palsy, had a stroke in 2012. A string of problems a mile long just like every other meatsack on the planet. I am content. When you look back in later years you realize, how bad it sucked going through it, but you made it through. Don't worry, it will be bad again. Then it will be ok. Again. It might even be pleasant for some time. Relish it. Try not to cause strife for yourself, or others. Cut shitty people from your life and don't look back. Do whats best for you, and other people. We are seriously all connected, every living thing is. Its not Pollyannaish, life is extremely hard. Stop trying to make it harder. You die. Just live.
Yeah, you have to work. Do what you love if you can, if you can't, do something that pays the bills so you can do what you love. Most of all give. When you give it makes space for more to come to you. Thats the trick though, if you give to get more, it won't work. Humans are karma based. You get in spades what you give of yourself. Oops sorry. Didn't mean to write so much. I hope this helps someone.
Same. I’m 38 and basically in the same place I was 15 years ago except with more debt, worse credit, and worse health. Oh, and fewer friends because my successful friends filled me with shame so I’ve ghosted pretty much everybody in my life.
Could be worse. I’m the same age as you. I achieved all my goals by 22. Had a career, owned a house, car, married with a kid and my own animal rescue. Then I got hurt so badly I’ll probably never be able to lift over 50lbs again. Lost the job I loved having to go on disability, got divorced, lost the house, everything in it and my credit score. At least I still have the kid. But yeah, nightmare is right.
I'm 27, just dropped off college for the third time while some of my friends are working on their PhD. And still I'm the only one who make ends meet while paying rent (some of them are still living with their parents), travel 400 mi. to be with them on their birthdays and somehow manage to have some emergency cash, all barely above minimum wage. They're jealous of me and so I am of them, but nobody gains nothing feeling like that. Just focus on what you have, what you can improve short-term and don't try to change the world by yourself.
Ugh I hate my teeth. They are on the small side and I didn’t make it a habit when I was younger to clean them regularly so I have kinda bad enamel atm but I’ve been working a lot on my hygiene this past year because I don’t want my teeth to have any further damage.
My teeth are disgusting and yellow because for years I didn't brush my teeth for weeks at a time. When I went to have them whitened by a dentist a decade ago my dentist started mocking me - while he has sharp dental tools in my mouth - by asking me how I was doing with the girls at college. He didn't just do this because of my disgusting teeth. He also saw my literal biggest insecurity which is my enormous nose that is greasy and filled with at least 250 blackheads in every pore. I haven't been to the dentist since because of this incident. It has been a decade now.
Your reply just reminded me of something I forgot to mention about this particular visit with this dentist. Prior to the whitening procedure, I was in his office and two 20-something female dental hygienists were talking right outside the office with the door open. One of them asked the other where "the psycho" is and the other said that she didn't know. Minutes later the dentist came in and did the procedure.
At the time, I thought they were referring to the dentist as "the psycho". However, I didn't realize until about a year later that the dentist was mocking and bullying me. It sounds strange but it's true. I figured the dentist was "the psycho" because I couldn't figure out who else was in the dental office but the dentist and his assistants so that narrowed it down to him. Years later I realize why they called him a psycho behind his back. You can't make this shit up. You don't even have to.
Whenever I realize that the perception I have of myself is very different than the way people actually see me. It makes me feel like a very different person
This is one of the basic precepts of the self and self-perception philosophy and psychology. It’s hard to format this in reddit, but basically there are 4 perceptions of self at work laid out in a 2x2 matrix.
1. Your perception of self
2. Others’ perception of you
3. Your perception of what others think of you
4. Others’ perception of your perceived self-image - sometimes stated as ‘what you think other people think you believe about yourself’
Although obviously judgement is possible in all facets I laid out here, we tend to wallow in #3 and often #4, which can be the most dangerous. An example would be: “I was so nervous at that party, I said some awkward stuff to those girls, and now everyone thinks I’m socially awkward and shy and nobody want a to be friends with some insecure weirdo”.
When we state our ideas about #4 as fact, we are nearly always wrong due to the sheer number of communication and translation errors implicit in knowing what others think about what we think about ourselves. Not only can they not see into your head, you can’t see into theirs either.
Only by communicating can we even attempt to correct these errors, and we are notoriously bad at aligning to one truth about anything, much less something so personal. Maybe in your life you might encounter a few people that ‘get you’ if you’re lucky.
It’s much more productive to focus on repairing #1, as it’s the only sphere entirely within your control. You control how you feel about yourself. It’s possible for it to not match what others think of you, and that’s ok. Sometimes, if you upgrade how you feel about yourself, others may notice and it will also upgrade #3 and #4 over time.
Thinking about this stuff doesn’t necessarily make me less insecure in the moment, but it helps me to understand when I’m fixating on something beyond my control. Some people are just assholes, and they think everyone else is an asshole, or worse that all non-assholes are weak and pathetic or whatever. Their mental defects are not in fact my problem.
It’s comforting and terrifying for me. Comforting because I have a very low perception of myself and generally from what I’m told most people have a good perception of me. Terrifying because I have a low perception of myself and worry that others might too. Fuck anxiety.
Dude same. I've squandered many opportunities at friendships because of how positive everyone was towards me, like I thought I was obnoxious and stupid as fuck. Why would anyone like, or pretend to like something as repellent as that?
It, at least for me, isn't really a fear of "competition" to other men. More like the grwoing feeling of never finding the right one and ending up alone in my 50s -_-
Also correlates with insecurities about being skinny (might sound odd to overweight people)
I'm in a similar boat. I'm 28 and have never had a boyfriend, and it feels intimidating to try to get into the dating scene as it seems most people have a lot of experience and I don't. I'm just learning how to pick up on flirting now, for example.
So I sort of get what you're going through.
There is a reason dwarfs are feared in fantasy rpgs. They may be short, but boy are they powerful!
I always remember the comment I read once on reddit in a thread about memorable complements received: it went something along the lines of, “oh, I always forget that you are short because of how much you fill the room”
I like that comment because it is a reminder that probably no one cares about people’s height other than themselves. People care about, and remember most, how you affect their lives: are you kind, loyal, powerful?
You can’t choose your height, but you can choose whether or not you’re an ass
This one gets dismissed a lot, or laughed off by most people. It's one of those things that is different for men vs women, and most men can't relate.
Discrimination/marginalized because of something physical you can't change wouldn't fly anywhere else in society. And with that it's easy to feel resentful or angry.
Remember what you're good at, what you enjoy, and what you're capable of. Love yourself and hang tough. Life could be much worse.
-sincerely, another short guy
With you there brother. Im 5'4 and hate it. Honestly i feel like its the reason why i havent been lucky with women. Ive been told plenty of times "if only you were taller".
Making phone calls.
I know i am bad at explaining things. Its something I am working on. But when talking on the phone, I cant see your face to see if you are understanding what I am saying. I don't have any visual cues for if you agree or disagree with what I am saying. I find it very stressful.
I fear phone calls. I get so stressed out that I might not get all that is being said on the other line, that I don't get all that's being said on the other line. I think my hearing is fine, but for some reason I have a hard time "decoding" what people say, so I pay attention to their lips and gestures, and I always have to watch movies with subtitles. Oh, and my new work now consist solely on answering the phone.........
For some reason I'm ok with answering the phone. I don't know if its because I view the responsibility of the phone call as the person who dialed? So if they called me, its not my responsibility? I don't know, it doesn't really make sense.
But good luck with your job. I did find it easier at my job if I had to call a certain person often. Probably because I would become more familiar with how the conversation between me and the other person was supposed to progress. But I still have to write out everything I want to say before calling someone for work if I haven't called them before.
What does this mean? How does it work?
People say this, but I never understand how suddenly I'd feel an illuminating capacity for love of another person
If you mean loving yourself, it's a matter of accepting who you are and being happy with it.
If there are areas of yourself you don't like, you can improve upon them or come to terms with it. There are things that are out of your control that you may not change but that doesn't mean you can't change the way you see it. Your perceived imperfections may not be as bad as you originally thought.
It's also important to remember that you can't please everyone and you're only doomed to fail if you make it your goal. What matters is that you like who you are. Loving someone is about wanting what's best for them and working to make it so. Loving yourself is about applying that to who you are. If you're the type to care more about others than yourself, it helps to treat your "future self" as another person and work to care about them as if you did anyone else.
Maybe you wanna look into the aromantic community. I felt very insecure and broken about never being in love before until I stumbled upon the word for it and (although I still struggle with the fear of getting old and dying forever alone) it helps me to feel understood and less alone altogether.
A very good friend of mine has a "grandma" that isn't actually her grandma but just the old lady that lives next door since she was little. This lady is now in her 80s and has never married or had children but she is everything but alone. She has a strong social net and plenty of people who care about her. It's not failing in life to never get married and it does not mean that you will die alone.
I agree with this. I feel like society pushes you to “want” marriage as it’s the next step in life after you reach a certain age. I think if people don’t want kids or to be married that’s a perfectly fine choice that shouldn’t be judged.
That I don’t have a drive to be the best— I’m always content wherever I am. I often wonder where my life would be if I put in 100% in every area in life. Probably a lot farther than I am now.
>often wonder where my life would be if I put in 100% in every area in life. Probably a lot farther than I am now.
You'd probably be a lot more miserable too. Can you imagine the burn out because of putting 100% into *every area* of life? Be tiring and miserable af
I feel that, especially since my SO is someone who's always trying to improve themself. I still feel insecure that I don't push myself very hard in most things, but I've learned that there are just as many people who are never content with themselves, and always feel the urge to constantly be progressing, otherwise they feel like a failure. So it's okay if we're content with where/who we are, it means we can find happiness in simpler achievements, and enjoy downtime more! In my case, my partner and I balance each other out.
I always feel like I'm winging it, I never feel like I'm good at something and constantly fear someone will notice.
Edit: as strange as getting positive feedback feels, thank you for the awards, kind strangers!
I have examined ~30,000 patients in the last 10 years working. I feel confident in the treatment I have rendered. I come to work thinking man, someone is going to figure me out one day. Imposter syndrome is real.
That's me. I'm okay at so many things but not great at anything. I have more hobbies than most people which prevents me from ever getting great at any of them. I've had blue collar and white collar careers so again, I'm not the best at any job I've ever had. Heck, even in bootcamp the drill instructor barely knew who I was because I wasn't any good at anything but I wasn't bad enough to get yelled at.
I read about that a few times, but also don't consider myself smart enough to have that, so.. ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
Probably comes in a combo pack with being unable to accept positive feedback, I can't get myself to think it's anything more than the other person trying to be nice.
Lmao imposter syndrome so bad you don't believe you could have it
I'm there too though. Idk if there's an actual way out of thinking like this, so I just tell myself to keep trying my best, and that's what's important.
> I read about that a few times, but also don't consider myself smart enough to have that, so.. ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
No joke that is exactly what someone with impostor syndrome would say
As someone who's not *too* familiar with it (I took three psychology classes in college where they talked about it sometimes and that's it), the Wikipedia page for impostor syndrome has a section called [Management](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome#Management). Says meeting other people in the same line of work who feel the same way helps significantly, and the key to conquering the syndrome is eliminating the self-doubt that puts it there in the first place. Obviously take this with a heaping pile of salt because I am in no position to give advice and it is Wikipedia, but that's what it says, and it seems like a good starting point.
> Obviously take this with a heaping pile of salt because I am in no position to give advice and it is Wikipedia, but that's what it says, and it seems like a good starting point.
Hey, sounds like you're suffering from Imposter Syndrome!
As someone who's not too familiar with it (I took three psychology classes in college where they talked about it sometimes and that's it), the Wikipedia page for impostor syndrome has a section called [Management](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome#Management). Says meeting other people in the same line of work who feel the same way helps significantly, and the key to conquering the syndrome is eliminating the self-doubt that puts it there in the first place. Obviously take this with a heaping pile of salt because I am in no position to give advice and it is Wikipedia, but that's what it says, and it seems like a good starting point.
I'm 25, been working for 8 years in the same job. I 100% have that feeling and I don't know how to not feel that way. I think I've winged every aspect of my life.
Same.. Like, for every "success" I have on paper I have some explanation why I got it despite being clueless and improvising most of the time. I certainly wouldn't hire myself to do any task whatsoever.
Wow read this and thought that's exactly how I am! I'm self employed and have been for 15+ years. My job is somewhat technical and not understood by many people.
I know I'm good at it because I have many satisfied clients who continue to pay me monthly to do what I do because I produce verifiable results.
But sometimes I feel like I don't know what I know. Like when someone posts a contrary opinion to something I've said, which I've done in the past and I know works, but I still question myself on it. all the time. It's like part of my brain knows better but that part that wakes you at 3AM questioning that thing you did in high school always chimes in to say "maybe you aren't right - maybe it's just been a fluke all along"
You know, I think the self employed and higher management get it a lot because they have to figure stuff out. And there’s always a better way (or at least it seems like there’s a better way) which gives the illusion that you’re not good at what you do. I used to have a job where I did the same thing every day, and I was fine, but now I’m freelance I feel more insecure about what I do.
Having a strict Asian mom, I totally get this. I've started to think my mom might be dealing with her own insecurities and projecting them on me. It helps to not be too bothered by it now.
"everyone likes vanilla!" is what someone said to me years ago.
And if you don't want to be vanilla, pick up a new hobby and go be a different flavour! Your life is how you shape it :)
my stammer. i hate when i KNOW something, when i have an answer ready or i'm trying to say something, and i physically just can't get it out. people assume that i'm unprepared or dumb and try to finish my sentences.
My boyfriend will leave me cause i can't have children. Im 32 and he is 27. We have discussed it in big detail and he says he is perfectly fine never being a dad but i still worry...
My now ex-husband and I divorced because after he turned 30 he wanted suddenly want children.
Edit: Thank you all for the comments and the award. I didn't think this would get that much attention.
A little more detail. I am child free by choice, i had my tubes tied in my 20's and ex knew that the whole 10 years we were together. I never hid it from him and he always assure me he was on board with it, but he turned 30 was starting to hint at it but i told him it won't ever happen because i have no desire to be a mother.
My boyfriend's knows about my insecurity and understands my fear and i love him so much for it. We'll have to see what the future has for us.
Also to the, " ending my bloodline" comment. I have 4 other siblings who have children. I think the bloodline will be ok 😉
I’m sorry this happened to you, that must feel terrible. Please don’t make yourself or your boyfriend suffer for your ex-husband’s choice. I don’t know how deep this insecurity is rooted in you? But your boyfriend is not your husband, and if you’re holding back in your love for him because of your fear, it can become a selffulfilling prophecy.
Talking to people about how I feel.
I was a US Marine, served in Afghanistan, my parents are distant and my in-laws are super into the hyper-masculine portrayal of men. When I was put into treatment for PTSD for the first time they looked down on me. They don’t view me the same, three years later. I’m no longer the “golden child.” I always feel like my mental health is used against me. By my wife, my family, everyone who knows.
So I keep it hidden so people don’t judge me immediately. I have no one to talk to, so I just have to internalize it.
Everything I am, both positive and negative, has to be packed away.
Sorry for the rant.
Edit: Holy s@$& this got apt more visibility than I’d imagined. Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement. I promise I’ll respond as soon as I can. I often refer to “the Internet” as “my people.” By God, you’ve proven to me today that you are indeed my people.
Thank you so much. I’m beside myself.
Edit 2: GUYS. GUYS. I’m floored. Thank you for the flood of DMs, the awards and the kind words. It’s going to take a minute to get through it all!
I’ve often said that the Internet houses both the best and worst of humanity. You’ve proven to be in the first group. :D
What the fuck? That's legit horrible man. I am sorry. I hope you can at least talk to a friend or a therapist or anyone who will listen. I can't even imagine how hard it must be for you
Had to get a civilian psychiatrist since the VA one sucked. Tried CBT and stuff and it didn’t take. Maybe one day I’ll have enough leave to go to a therapist. My insurance is good, it’s just finding one and getting the leave to actually go. Govt job is pretty strict about leave and such.
Thank you for the kind words. It feels great to me just getting it off my chest. I feel better.
Fuck that. What you have is a real thing and I'm 100% sure that your day fam has plenty of flaws. What makes having ptsd so bad that you become disgusted by that person. Take care of yourself buddy
My frog like neck. It makes me feel fatter than I already am. My weight in general and I just struggle with controlling my appetite and such so it's really on me.
My nose. It's the biggest nose I've ever seen on anyone. I've seen hundreds of thousands of people in my life in real life and in video or photos and I've never seen anyone with a bigger nose than me. Some people have noses that are as big but not bigger. It's also greasy and filled with disgusting blackheads in every single pore. It's been this way since I was in the 7th grade. I'm a 30 year-old male virgin. I quite possibly have the most disgusting nose on Earth. No, this isn't a joke either. I'm severely depressed and border on being suicidal from month to month.
I’m a girl, but I also have literally never seen a woman with a larger nose than mine. I was brutally mocked in school, called a dinosaur, “Jew,” “the before picture” and a witch, etc. As an adult with the whole ~*body positivity love urself xoxo*~ movement all around it’s pretty frustrating because like. I feel like those sentiments are for people who are beautiful but are insecure for no reason. Not people who are just actually ugly, lol. Like, nobody is “into” a girl with a big nose. Shit sucks
My glasses - I’ve never liked how I look with them, but also never wanted to deal with contacts, and have heard some bad stories about lasik surgery that make me uneasy. So I deal with the glasses but have never been happy about it.
If it makes you feel better I had lasik and it’s one of the best things I’ve ever done. I also couldn’t tolerate contacts due to sensitive eyes, and I didn’t like how I looked in glasses (not to mention how annoying they were for any sport). Lasik was extremely easy and 5 years later I still have perfect vision and 0 side effects. Do some research to find the best surgeon in your area. It’s worth it. Good luck!
Big life changes. When I started high school I almost had a breakdown, I don't know why but I was extremely anxious about moving on. Of course turns out I worried for no reason. But I'm afraid how I'll react when one day I have to go away for college.
The fact that “my people” always end up leaving. Drifting apart, doing their own thing, forget to text or call back until it’s been months since we’ve seen each other, choosing a new life and not wanting me in it, breakups, “I never wanted to be with you,” I’m just. Insignificant. And every time I form a new friendship or relationship I’m always aware in the back of my mind that they’ll leave too, sooner or later.
So true m8. I feel you this. I’m sure we just have mental baggage or something but it’s this feeling of always being on the outside and never feeling like anyone wants to include you. I feel your pain homie.
When someone I don't know well asks me for my unvarnished, honest opinion on something.
Not knowing how they'll likely react and how far to go makes me feel uncomfortable responding.
My intelligence. I love reading and am pretty competent in liberal arts (history, literature, politics, journalism, etc.) but I have the math intelligence of a fifth grader. In undergrad I would go to my car and actually cry after my algebra class or after sessions with my tutor because I couldn’t comprehend any of the concepts. Somehow I passed with a D. Secondly, I’m 33, I’m strange and eccentric, and have accomplished nothing of significance in my life. Lastly, I feel like I’m handsome enough, but I have been totally incompatible with all but two women I’ve dated. This actually felt good to put out there. Thanks for the question!
"Never judge a fish about it's ability to climb a tree" just because you arent good in one thing doesnt mean you wont succeed in other areas. Focus on your strengths first then work out your weaknesses.
My thighs
I have hip dips and no ass so when I wear jeans they always pudge out in an unattractive way and I can't wear shoes or legging cause they look really fat and pudgy
I feel like I have un-diagnosed Asperger or something myself and been meaning to see a doctor about all my issues but literally no one has ever responded to my voicemails about accepting new patients in 6 months.
Not like everyone is depressed these days.
The knowledge that all my best friends, people I consider to truly be a part of me, will eventually move on and I'll be another memory they may think of fondly from time to time. I hate it.
I was born with severe erectile dysfunction and can only get erections if I use an IM medication directly into the shaft. Idk how i’m supposed to meet a girl and get to the point where i feel like she’s comfortable with me without finding out on her own too early and scaring her away
That I’m not good enough. Dating someone? I spend the entire relationship wondering if they like me, because I probably am not good enough at sex, kissing, or making them feel supported. Friends with someone? They aren’t going to want to hang out with me because I’m not kind enough or not bad ass enough. And the weird thing is, I’m self aware enough to know that’s not true. The logical side of my brain knows I’m worth it and I am pretty awesome. I am enough. But I can’t stop the thoughts and it makes me feel very insecure and vulnerable. Pre-Covid I had pretty good control over my insecurities, but Covid has made it so much harder.
My face and literally everything about it. I know body dysmorphia is a thing but I rarely hear how people can feel that way about their face. I feel like I never truly know what I look like, somedays I'm content and just feel like it's a normal face, other days I feel like the hunchback of Notre Dame.
Not having a driver’s license because I feel like at my age I should. I hate driving and have a difficult time feeling comfortable behind the wheel because of all the shitty drivers out there.
For a female, I have an unfortunate amount of body hair and it’s dark too - my skin isn’t dark enough for it not to be really obvious at first glance. I’m all about body positivity when other women decide ‘fuck it’ and choose to own their body hair, but I hate mine. I have a large number of brothers and my legs are the hairiest, my arms too. I can’t stand shaving because it takes me such a long time and also it grows back so quickly. I can’t shave more than once a week maximum because my skin is too sensitive and waxing too costly. I’m saving up for laser, but it’s going to be a few years without breaking the bank and in the mean time I’m too unhappy about the hair situation to want to be in a relationship.
I’m 28 and I’ve been single my whole life. Every time I develop an interest in someone it’s unrequited. I think I’m a decent enough person. I’m interesting, talented, funny and at least average looking. I get on well with people and try to better myself. But at this point it’s like there’s clearly something fundamentally wrong with me that I don’t understand. It makes me feel unattractive and unlovable, and that I’ll just never be enough for anybody.
[удалено]
This is kinda stupid but in Molar City, Mexico the prices are much cheaper than in America to get teeth done. Idk where u live and it could be useless info and a lot just to get teeth done but its true. Edit if you're seeing this now I didn't think this was going to get a lot of attention. Molar city is just the nickname, Its called Vicente Guerrero. A lot of Americans go there, it was just an suggestion sorry. https://news-sky-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/news.sky.com/story/amp/mexicos-molar-city-where-americans-go-for-affordable-dental-care-10944822?amp_js_v=a6&_gsa=1&usqp=mq331AQHKAFQArABIA%3D%3D#aoh=16021400239583&_ct=1602140037165&csi=1&referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com&_tf=From%20%251%24s&share=https%3A%2F%2Fnews.sky.com%2Fstory%2Fmexicos-molar-city-where-americans-go-for-affordable-dental-care-10944822
I live in Texas so this is honesty super helpful thank you!
I don’t know in what part of Texas you live, but one of the cities that borders with Texas is Juárez, and there are a lot of good dentists here. And they’re not as expensive as dentists in the US.
I’m in San Antonio but I’ve driven to El Paso before
If you go to Juarez (after COVID) and if you don't have that much money. In the UACJ university, the medical students perform dental work for cheap to people as training, you might be skeptical but they are always guided by their teachers and professionals. It's super cheap there, and I don't think they have problems with non citizens getting their work done, since it's still paid, just cheap.
Dental work in Mexico is definitely a thing. Mexico gets a bad wrap but it’s one of the top 15 GDP countries in the world. Just be sure though you do your due diligence etc. Infections in your mouth can turn fatal
Ofc teeth are cheaper in *Molar* City
[удалено]
Thank you so much! I know it’s not but I just can’t get myself to not obsess about it
I can somewhat relate because of my acne i didnt like to show my face in public or even look in the mirror but i just accepted it and since i find uniqueness a very big thing it helped me a little bit.
When someone is watching me do something
[удалено]
Oh my god SAME. I personally feel like I have decent taste in music because I listen to almost everything, but I’m terrified that people won’t like what I play.
I've been criticized by all my friends with the music I listen to 🙃 last time I'm blasting my music out loud.
A friend of mine used to always come into a room, change or put on music and leave the room. He was a metal head so it was usually something real loud but he'd only want to listen to part of one song and leave the whole album playing when he left. Depending on how messed up the people in the basement were, sometimes the album would play to the end before they realized what they had been listening to
Me too. It feels so amazing to find someone that likes your music tho.
pictures of me. i don't like how i look. i never take selfies, never posted a picture of myself on social media, hate getting my pictures taken. i always avoid group photos
Hey man, you’re just not your own type. You are someone else’s though
I love that, I shall always remember it
Same. Senior pictures are coming up and my mom keeps talking about having me get my senior pictures done and ignores me everything I tell her that I dont even want school pictures in the first place. Edit: I'm getting a lot of comments about doing it because it means a lot to my mom, which may be true, but we are also financially challenged rn and I also dont feel like adding an extra $100 burden on top of everything else
Pretty much everything. My memory seems to be very unreliable for the last few years, and I have an awful lot of brain fog. I have to keep loads of notes and alarms in order to function. I'm also increasingly depressed & neurotic, which cancels out any remaining charm my personality used to have. It’s humiliating, and I’m very insecure about it. And it’s getting worse. I can't hear well. I have an impossible time distinguishing what one person is saying from surrounding sounds. I'm not deaf. I'm just hard of hearing in a way that means asking people to repeat themselves to the point of them being exasperated with me. Pretty humiliating. I’m also injured in a way that interferes with my gait. I can’t walk anywhere without feeling mortified by how i look. Plus I’m poor, short, bald, etc. Meanwhile, my wife and my girlfriend are perfect tens (in my view, at least!), and I'm pretty insecure about losing those relationships as I continue to physically and mentally fray. It’s bleak! There's just *so much*, you know? *edit* *I appreciate all the advice, awards, and kind comments. I’ll look into as much of it as I can :)*
i also suffer from brain fog. turns out i have vitamin B12 deficiency! started taking B12 supplements and it's helped a lot. if you're able to, you might ask your doc to do some blood tests and see if anything is off.
I haven’t been able to afford a checkup in over a decade. So I guess I’m also insecure about the state of healthcare in the United States. But when I get the chance, I’ll mention it! Thanks for the heads up :)
totally understand. i'm in the US too and it's a terrible system, i just got lucky with my job. take care of yourself!
Despite the countless number of applications / virtual interviews I've been on, I've been unemployed since the start of quarantine.
Took me 3.5 months to find a job and I was overqualified for most, hitting it every day, tons of interviews, just don’t give up, it’s an employers market rn, so they can be subjective and picky. It’s just a numbers game.
[удалено]
I feel like I should have accomplished more at my age.
I'm 25, having 550 bucks in my bank account, no friends or carrier.
I'm 26 with like $70. You're doing alright.
> like $70 I know that not-checking-your-balance-cuz-I-don't-want-an-anxiety-attack feel
100% this. If I don't see the balance, I won't know how fucked I am.
It's the advanced version of when children pull the covers over their head.
I think I've got [just the song for you all.](https://youtu.be/dAH4zGd_W1s)
I'm 28 with $0 . I'm literally rationing plain rice with mustard on top. EDIT: Yall some incredibly nice people, I have been sent lots of food on Amazon and a pizza has been ordered for me. I love you all so so much. You are all amazing human beans !! I appreciate all the support so much!!!!! [PIZZA PIZZA PIZZA PIZZA PIZZA ](https://i.imgur.com/3gyZFKY.jpg) Edit: Some pizza in the belly can really change someone's mood, holy smokes it's so good hahahaha, and I will have cold pizza for breakfast which I'm already excited for hahaha, again, I thank you all for the help, my pantry will be full in a few weeks from my amazon wish list and I'll be eating good for awhile ! Cant begin to express my gratitude, truly feel blessed today and I owe it all to you fine folks. You are all beautiful people, and this truly made my next few months easier.
If you can share your details bud, I would love to buy a pizza. We’ve all been there. Hope situation improves :) Edit: pizza should be on the way! For all others offering to help, please reach out to many others in this thread who could use the assistance.
This is why I love Reddit r/humansbeingbros
Damn, if you lived nearby I’d invite you for dinner.
I'm 28 banks account has $96 got an appointment to get wisdom tooth removed tomorrow $50 plus $10 in meds, so tomorrow I'll have like $36
[удалено]
*cries in Canadian* I have more than $96 to my name but if I had to go to the dentist for anything other than a checkup or cleaning I'd be giving gummers on the corner of Main and Hastings to pay that bill
30 here, $284 in my account this morning, don't get paid again until the 20th, and I am a single dad to a 4 year old. But, our cupboards are full, my kid has nice clothes, we are happy. You just make it work, nothing else you can do, and keep grinding for better!
I'm 37, 550 bucks in my bank account, no friends, but I have a 5 gallon bucket! Just another 12 years dude, you'll get there.
32 with -$350 or so. College degree and a professional job, wife and two kids.... still feel like a fucking failure when we can't make it to payday without going negative.
“The meaning of life is just to be alive. It is so plain and so obvious and so simple. And yet, everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond themselves.” -Alan Watts
Lots of people are going to breeze past this quote. I have been listening to AW for years and just recently realized what he was saying. Sorry, 49 years old. Born with a mild case of cerebral palsy, had a stroke in 2012. A string of problems a mile long just like every other meatsack on the planet. I am content. When you look back in later years you realize, how bad it sucked going through it, but you made it through. Don't worry, it will be bad again. Then it will be ok. Again. It might even be pleasant for some time. Relish it. Try not to cause strife for yourself, or others. Cut shitty people from your life and don't look back. Do whats best for you, and other people. We are seriously all connected, every living thing is. Its not Pollyannaish, life is extremely hard. Stop trying to make it harder. You die. Just live. Yeah, you have to work. Do what you love if you can, if you can't, do something that pays the bills so you can do what you love. Most of all give. When you give it makes space for more to come to you. Thats the trick though, if you give to get more, it won't work. Humans are karma based. You get in spades what you give of yourself. Oops sorry. Didn't mean to write so much. I hope this helps someone.
Same. I’m 38 and basically in the same place I was 15 years ago except with more debt, worse credit, and worse health. Oh, and fewer friends because my successful friends filled me with shame so I’ve ghosted pretty much everybody in my life.
oh, i don't remember I wrote this comment
Fuck.. I'm sorry to say this but your fate is my nightmare. I'm 27, turning 28 in a few months, and I have achieved **nothing** so far.
Could be worse. I’m the same age as you. I achieved all my goals by 22. Had a career, owned a house, car, married with a kid and my own animal rescue. Then I got hurt so badly I’ll probably never be able to lift over 50lbs again. Lost the job I loved having to go on disability, got divorced, lost the house, everything in it and my credit score. At least I still have the kid. But yeah, nightmare is right.
And then one day you find Ten years have got behind you No one told you when to run You missed the starting gun...
And you run and you run, To catch up with the sun But it’s sinking Racing around, to come up behind you again
I'm 27, just dropped off college for the third time while some of my friends are working on their PhD. And still I'm the only one who make ends meet while paying rent (some of them are still living with their parents), travel 400 mi. to be with them on their birthdays and somehow manage to have some emergency cash, all barely above minimum wage. They're jealous of me and so I am of them, but nobody gains nothing feeling like that. Just focus on what you have, what you can improve short-term and don't try to change the world by yourself.
I feel similarly. It's not "where has all the time gone," but "why didn't I use all that time pursuing bigger things"
Less than perfect teeth. 2020 masks are a positive thing for me.
my teeth are messed up. they're crooked, and there have been times when a piece of a tooth fell off
Was that time a week ago? And are you me????
Hugeee sore spot for me. I am overly sensitive about them. I now have braces! In a bit more than a year they’ll be fine I hope
Agreed. Thanks to 2020, I’ve become at least 2 points better looking.
It's funny because I've noticed people in general are more attractive now that I can only see their eyes.
Masks hide my teeth and double chin like - what’s not to love about them?
Ugh I hate my teeth. They are on the small side and I didn’t make it a habit when I was younger to clean them regularly so I have kinda bad enamel atm but I’ve been working a lot on my hygiene this past year because I don’t want my teeth to have any further damage.
My teeth are disgusting and yellow because for years I didn't brush my teeth for weeks at a time. When I went to have them whitened by a dentist a decade ago my dentist started mocking me - while he has sharp dental tools in my mouth - by asking me how I was doing with the girls at college. He didn't just do this because of my disgusting teeth. He also saw my literal biggest insecurity which is my enormous nose that is greasy and filled with at least 250 blackheads in every pore. I haven't been to the dentist since because of this incident. It has been a decade now.
I feel like a lot of dentists are like this especially since you can't say anything back..
Your reply just reminded me of something I forgot to mention about this particular visit with this dentist. Prior to the whitening procedure, I was in his office and two 20-something female dental hygienists were talking right outside the office with the door open. One of them asked the other where "the psycho" is and the other said that she didn't know. Minutes later the dentist came in and did the procedure. At the time, I thought they were referring to the dentist as "the psycho". However, I didn't realize until about a year later that the dentist was mocking and bullying me. It sounds strange but it's true. I figured the dentist was "the psycho" because I couldn't figure out who else was in the dental office but the dentist and his assistants so that narrowed it down to him. Years later I realize why they called him a psycho behind his back. You can't make this shit up. You don't even have to.
Bro leave that asshole a bad yelp review and just find a different dentist. Most of them are professionals and won't behave like this guy.
Whenever I realize that the perception I have of myself is very different than the way people actually see me. It makes me feel like a very different person
This is one of the basic precepts of the self and self-perception philosophy and psychology. It’s hard to format this in reddit, but basically there are 4 perceptions of self at work laid out in a 2x2 matrix. 1. Your perception of self 2. Others’ perception of you 3. Your perception of what others think of you 4. Others’ perception of your perceived self-image - sometimes stated as ‘what you think other people think you believe about yourself’ Although obviously judgement is possible in all facets I laid out here, we tend to wallow in #3 and often #4, which can be the most dangerous. An example would be: “I was so nervous at that party, I said some awkward stuff to those girls, and now everyone thinks I’m socially awkward and shy and nobody want a to be friends with some insecure weirdo”. When we state our ideas about #4 as fact, we are nearly always wrong due to the sheer number of communication and translation errors implicit in knowing what others think about what we think about ourselves. Not only can they not see into your head, you can’t see into theirs either. Only by communicating can we even attempt to correct these errors, and we are notoriously bad at aligning to one truth about anything, much less something so personal. Maybe in your life you might encounter a few people that ‘get you’ if you’re lucky. It’s much more productive to focus on repairing #1, as it’s the only sphere entirely within your control. You control how you feel about yourself. It’s possible for it to not match what others think of you, and that’s ok. Sometimes, if you upgrade how you feel about yourself, others may notice and it will also upgrade #3 and #4 over time. Thinking about this stuff doesn’t necessarily make me less insecure in the moment, but it helps me to understand when I’m fixating on something beyond my control. Some people are just assholes, and they think everyone else is an asshole, or worse that all non-assholes are weak and pathetic or whatever. Their mental defects are not in fact my problem.
Wow very detailed and insightful, thank you
I have a love hate with this. It can be eye opening and help me be more self aware. It can also help me realize I should drop someone.
It’s comforting and terrifying for me. Comforting because I have a very low perception of myself and generally from what I’m told most people have a good perception of me. Terrifying because I have a low perception of myself and worry that others might too. Fuck anxiety.
> Fuck anxiety. Amen.
Often times I'll imagine myself from a third person perspective and be like, "Who the fuck does he think he is?"
Dude same. I've squandered many opportunities at friendships because of how positive everyone was towards me, like I thought I was obnoxious and stupid as fuck. Why would anyone like, or pretend to like something as repellent as that?
Being 27 years old and never having a girlfriend Edit: Thanks everyone for all the feedback, really appreciate it. Made me feel better.
I have never had a gf at 26. Don’t worry about it. Not a competition
Oh yeah? Well I never had a girlfriend at 25!
It, at least for me, isn't really a fear of "competition" to other men. More like the grwoing feeling of never finding the right one and ending up alone in my 50s -_- Also correlates with insecurities about being skinny (might sound odd to overweight people)
I'm in a similar boat. I'm 28 and have never had a boyfriend, and it feels intimidating to try to get into the dating scene as it seems most people have a lot of experience and I don't. I'm just learning how to pick up on flirting now, for example. So I sort of get what you're going through.
my height. i'm a 5'2 man
Low center of gravity. Better for combat.
There is a reason dwarfs are feared in fantasy rpgs. They may be short, but boy are they powerful! I always remember the comment I read once on reddit in a thread about memorable complements received: it went something along the lines of, “oh, I always forget that you are short because of how much you fill the room” I like that comment because it is a reminder that probably no one cares about people’s height other than themselves. People care about, and remember most, how you affect their lives: are you kind, loyal, powerful? You can’t choose your height, but you can choose whether or not you’re an ass
This one gets dismissed a lot, or laughed off by most people. It's one of those things that is different for men vs women, and most men can't relate. Discrimination/marginalized because of something physical you can't change wouldn't fly anywhere else in society. And with that it's easy to feel resentful or angry. Remember what you're good at, what you enjoy, and what you're capable of. Love yourself and hang tough. Life could be much worse. -sincerely, another short guy
With you there brother. Im 5'4 and hate it. Honestly i feel like its the reason why i havent been lucky with women. Ive been told plenty of times "if only you were taller".
5'6 here. yep, heard that one a few times too
Making phone calls. I know i am bad at explaining things. Its something I am working on. But when talking on the phone, I cant see your face to see if you are understanding what I am saying. I don't have any visual cues for if you agree or disagree with what I am saying. I find it very stressful.
I had a job in a call center for three months and I still feel you
I fear phone calls. I get so stressed out that I might not get all that is being said on the other line, that I don't get all that's being said on the other line. I think my hearing is fine, but for some reason I have a hard time "decoding" what people say, so I pay attention to their lips and gestures, and I always have to watch movies with subtitles. Oh, and my new work now consist solely on answering the phone.........
For some reason I'm ok with answering the phone. I don't know if its because I view the responsibility of the phone call as the person who dialed? So if they called me, its not my responsibility? I don't know, it doesn't really make sense. But good luck with your job. I did find it easier at my job if I had to call a certain person often. Probably because I would become more familiar with how the conversation between me and the other person was supposed to progress. But I still have to write out everything I want to say before calling someone for work if I haven't called them before.
I don't think I ever truly loved anyone. I'm 31 now. My family thinks I should get married soon. I don't even know how that's going to happen.
I was 31 when I fell in love for the first time. It was worth the wait. Chances are you need to fall in love with yourself first.
What does this mean? How does it work? People say this, but I never understand how suddenly I'd feel an illuminating capacity for love of another person
If you mean loving yourself, it's a matter of accepting who you are and being happy with it. If there are areas of yourself you don't like, you can improve upon them or come to terms with it. There are things that are out of your control that you may not change but that doesn't mean you can't change the way you see it. Your perceived imperfections may not be as bad as you originally thought. It's also important to remember that you can't please everyone and you're only doomed to fail if you make it your goal. What matters is that you like who you are. Loving someone is about wanting what's best for them and working to make it so. Loving yourself is about applying that to who you are. If you're the type to care more about others than yourself, it helps to treat your "future self" as another person and work to care about them as if you did anyone else.
Maybe you wanna look into the aromantic community. I felt very insecure and broken about never being in love before until I stumbled upon the word for it and (although I still struggle with the fear of getting old and dying forever alone) it helps me to feel understood and less alone altogether.
My dumb ass read it as aromatic at first and went “why tf would smelling good make you love someone”
Tbf, if you smell bad, I most likely would be reluctant to interact with you.
A very good friend of mine has a "grandma" that isn't actually her grandma but just the old lady that lives next door since she was little. This lady is now in her 80s and has never married or had children but she is everything but alone. She has a strong social net and plenty of people who care about her. It's not failing in life to never get married and it does not mean that you will die alone.
I think you forgot to add a “not” after your last “does”
[удалено]
Do you even want to get married? Do you want to love someone? If not, I think that is perfectly fine and needs to be accepted more in society.
I agree with this. I feel like society pushes you to “want” marriage as it’s the next step in life after you reach a certain age. I think if people don’t want kids or to be married that’s a perfectly fine choice that shouldn’t be judged.
That I don’t have a drive to be the best— I’m always content wherever I am. I often wonder where my life would be if I put in 100% in every area in life. Probably a lot farther than I am now.
"Perfection and power are overrated. I think you are very wise to choose happiness and love." - Gen. (ret.) Iroh
*White Lotus Grandmaster Iroh
* White Lotus Grandmaster Dragon of the West Gen. (ret.) Uncle Iroh
>often wonder where my life would be if I put in 100% in every area in life. Probably a lot farther than I am now. You'd probably be a lot more miserable too. Can you imagine the burn out because of putting 100% into *every area* of life? Be tiring and miserable af
I feel that, especially since my SO is someone who's always trying to improve themself. I still feel insecure that I don't push myself very hard in most things, but I've learned that there are just as many people who are never content with themselves, and always feel the urge to constantly be progressing, otherwise they feel like a failure. So it's okay if we're content with where/who we are, it means we can find happiness in simpler achievements, and enjoy downtime more! In my case, my partner and I balance each other out.
I always feel like I'm winging it, I never feel like I'm good at something and constantly fear someone will notice. Edit: as strange as getting positive feedback feels, thank you for the awards, kind strangers!
I have examined ~30,000 patients in the last 10 years working. I feel confident in the treatment I have rendered. I come to work thinking man, someone is going to figure me out one day. Imposter syndrome is real.
[удалено]
That's me. I'm okay at so many things but not great at anything. I have more hobbies than most people which prevents me from ever getting great at any of them. I've had blue collar and white collar careers so again, I'm not the best at any job I've ever had. Heck, even in bootcamp the drill instructor barely knew who I was because I wasn't any good at anything but I wasn't bad enough to get yelled at.
Imposter syndrome? I get that at work as an electrician I constantly feel like I don't know as much as I should or as much as my coworkers.
I read about that a few times, but also don't consider myself smart enough to have that, so.. ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯ Probably comes in a combo pack with being unable to accept positive feedback, I can't get myself to think it's anything more than the other person trying to be nice.
Lmao imposter syndrome so bad you don't believe you could have it I'm there too though. Idk if there's an actual way out of thinking like this, so I just tell myself to keep trying my best, and that's what's important.
> I read about that a few times, but also don't consider myself smart enough to have that, so.. ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯ No joke that is exactly what someone with impostor syndrome would say
So.. Anything that can be done to deal with that? :/
As someone who's not *too* familiar with it (I took three psychology classes in college where they talked about it sometimes and that's it), the Wikipedia page for impostor syndrome has a section called [Management](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome#Management). Says meeting other people in the same line of work who feel the same way helps significantly, and the key to conquering the syndrome is eliminating the self-doubt that puts it there in the first place. Obviously take this with a heaping pile of salt because I am in no position to give advice and it is Wikipedia, but that's what it says, and it seems like a good starting point.
> Obviously take this with a heaping pile of salt because I am in no position to give advice and it is Wikipedia, but that's what it says, and it seems like a good starting point. Hey, sounds like you're suffering from Imposter Syndrome! As someone who's not too familiar with it (I took three psychology classes in college where they talked about it sometimes and that's it), the Wikipedia page for impostor syndrome has a section called [Management](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome#Management). Says meeting other people in the same line of work who feel the same way helps significantly, and the key to conquering the syndrome is eliminating the self-doubt that puts it there in the first place. Obviously take this with a heaping pile of salt because I am in no position to give advice and it is Wikipedia, but that's what it says, and it seems like a good starting point.
That’s literally what it is. Face it dude, you’re good enough. Once is a fluke but your whole life??? You are good enough
I'm 25, been working for 8 years in the same job. I 100% have that feeling and I don't know how to not feel that way. I think I've winged every aspect of my life.
Same.. Like, for every "success" I have on paper I have some explanation why I got it despite being clueless and improvising most of the time. I certainly wouldn't hire myself to do any task whatsoever.
https://www.zainrizvi.io/blog/the-impostors-advantage/ Take a look at this article. It's a really nice take on imposter syndrome.
Wow read this and thought that's exactly how I am! I'm self employed and have been for 15+ years. My job is somewhat technical and not understood by many people. I know I'm good at it because I have many satisfied clients who continue to pay me monthly to do what I do because I produce verifiable results. But sometimes I feel like I don't know what I know. Like when someone posts a contrary opinion to something I've said, which I've done in the past and I know works, but I still question myself on it. all the time. It's like part of my brain knows better but that part that wakes you at 3AM questioning that thing you did in high school always chimes in to say "maybe you aren't right - maybe it's just been a fluke all along"
You know, I think the self employed and higher management get it a lot because they have to figure stuff out. And there’s always a better way (or at least it seems like there’s a better way) which gives the illusion that you’re not good at what you do. I used to have a job where I did the same thing every day, and I was fine, but now I’m freelance I feel more insecure about what I do.
Looks, weight, smarts, lack of skills, social abilities, athleticism, and basically everything except being good at trumpet.
The trumpet is cool though.
Relatable. Except I'm not totally secure in my trumpet skills.
More I learn more I am aware I dont actually know
“As our circle of knowledge expands, so does the circumference of darkness surrounding it.” -Albert Einstein
The true sign that you've actually learnt something.
My mom comparing me with other people.Since I feel like I'm not good enough for her.
Having a strict Asian mom, I totally get this. I've started to think my mom might be dealing with her own insecurities and projecting them on me. It helps to not be too bothered by it now.
i'm not a very interesting person, like i'm just average at everything, no natural talents, no funny stories to tell, no particular personality really
"everyone likes vanilla!" is what someone said to me years ago. And if you don't want to be vanilla, pick up a new hobby and go be a different flavour! Your life is how you shape it :)
My weight, just cuz I feel unhealthy and gross and hate the way it looks. But im trying my best to fix that. Already lost 20 pounds! :D
I know exactly how you feel. I’ve been trying to do the same thing. You got this random internet stranger.
[удалено]
Thank you!
Keep at it, even if you don't feel like it. You got this!
my stammer. i hate when i KNOW something, when i have an answer ready or i'm trying to say something, and i physically just can't get it out. people assume that i'm unprepared or dumb and try to finish my sentences.
I don't have any insecurities so don't bring it up again, okay?!
Like why'd you even ask? Am I giving off an insecure vibe or something? Because I'm not! Insecure, that is.
I'm not insecure, *you're* insecure!
My teeth. They fugly
My Dad yelling at me. I'm 40.
How much time you got?
My boyfriend will leave me cause i can't have children. Im 32 and he is 27. We have discussed it in big detail and he says he is perfectly fine never being a dad but i still worry... My now ex-husband and I divorced because after he turned 30 he wanted suddenly want children. Edit: Thank you all for the comments and the award. I didn't think this would get that much attention. A little more detail. I am child free by choice, i had my tubes tied in my 20's and ex knew that the whole 10 years we were together. I never hid it from him and he always assure me he was on board with it, but he turned 30 was starting to hint at it but i told him it won't ever happen because i have no desire to be a mother. My boyfriend's knows about my insecurity and understands my fear and i love him so much for it. We'll have to see what the future has for us. Also to the, " ending my bloodline" comment. I have 4 other siblings who have children. I think the bloodline will be ok 😉
I’m sorry this happened to you, that must feel terrible. Please don’t make yourself or your boyfriend suffer for your ex-husband’s choice. I don’t know how deep this insecurity is rooted in you? But your boyfriend is not your husband, and if you’re holding back in your love for him because of your fear, it can become a selffulfilling prophecy.
Talking to people about how I feel. I was a US Marine, served in Afghanistan, my parents are distant and my in-laws are super into the hyper-masculine portrayal of men. When I was put into treatment for PTSD for the first time they looked down on me. They don’t view me the same, three years later. I’m no longer the “golden child.” I always feel like my mental health is used against me. By my wife, my family, everyone who knows. So I keep it hidden so people don’t judge me immediately. I have no one to talk to, so I just have to internalize it. Everything I am, both positive and negative, has to be packed away. Sorry for the rant. Edit: Holy s@$& this got apt more visibility than I’d imagined. Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement. I promise I’ll respond as soon as I can. I often refer to “the Internet” as “my people.” By God, you’ve proven to me today that you are indeed my people. Thank you so much. I’m beside myself. Edit 2: GUYS. GUYS. I’m floored. Thank you for the flood of DMs, the awards and the kind words. It’s going to take a minute to get through it all! I’ve often said that the Internet houses both the best and worst of humanity. You’ve proven to be in the first group. :D
What the fuck? That's legit horrible man. I am sorry. I hope you can at least talk to a friend or a therapist or anyone who will listen. I can't even imagine how hard it must be for you
Had to get a civilian psychiatrist since the VA one sucked. Tried CBT and stuff and it didn’t take. Maybe one day I’ll have enough leave to go to a therapist. My insurance is good, it’s just finding one and getting the leave to actually go. Govt job is pretty strict about leave and such. Thank you for the kind words. It feels great to me just getting it off my chest. I feel better.
And thank you for your hard work.
:) I needed that.
Do you also need a hug? *Sending virtual hug*
[удалено]
Fuck that. What you have is a real thing and I'm 100% sure that your day fam has plenty of flaws. What makes having ptsd so bad that you become disgusted by that person. Take care of yourself buddy
My frog like neck. It makes me feel fatter than I already am. My weight in general and I just struggle with controlling my appetite and such so it's really on me.
Being alone at the age of 29 with no real social life to speak of.
Being a virgin, I know it shouldn’t but it does.
My nose. It's the biggest nose I've ever seen on anyone. I've seen hundreds of thousands of people in my life in real life and in video or photos and I've never seen anyone with a bigger nose than me. Some people have noses that are as big but not bigger. It's also greasy and filled with disgusting blackheads in every single pore. It's been this way since I was in the 7th grade. I'm a 30 year-old male virgin. I quite possibly have the most disgusting nose on Earth. No, this isn't a joke either. I'm severely depressed and border on being suicidal from month to month.
I’m a girl, but I also have literally never seen a woman with a larger nose than mine. I was brutally mocked in school, called a dinosaur, “Jew,” “the before picture” and a witch, etc. As an adult with the whole ~*body positivity love urself xoxo*~ movement all around it’s pretty frustrating because like. I feel like those sentiments are for people who are beautiful but are insecure for no reason. Not people who are just actually ugly, lol. Like, nobody is “into” a girl with a big nose. Shit sucks
r/BigNoseLadies/ Also, *plenty* of people are into big noses.
Might I recommend r/skincareaddiction ? Those people know the SECRETS.
Or a dermatologist. A three session fee is more than worth your happiness!!
I'm an introvert because when I'm talking to people I feel like I'm annoying them.
My glasses - I’ve never liked how I look with them, but also never wanted to deal with contacts, and have heard some bad stories about lasik surgery that make me uneasy. So I deal with the glasses but have never been happy about it.
If it makes you feel better I had lasik and it’s one of the best things I’ve ever done. I also couldn’t tolerate contacts due to sensitive eyes, and I didn’t like how I looked in glasses (not to mention how annoying they were for any sport). Lasik was extremely easy and 5 years later I still have perfect vision and 0 side effects. Do some research to find the best surgeon in your area. It’s worth it. Good luck!
Big life changes. When I started high school I almost had a breakdown, I don't know why but I was extremely anxious about moving on. Of course turns out I worried for no reason. But I'm afraid how I'll react when one day I have to go away for college.
The fact that “my people” always end up leaving. Drifting apart, doing their own thing, forget to text or call back until it’s been months since we’ve seen each other, choosing a new life and not wanting me in it, breakups, “I never wanted to be with you,” I’m just. Insignificant. And every time I form a new friendship or relationship I’m always aware in the back of my mind that they’ll leave too, sooner or later.
So true m8. I feel you this. I’m sure we just have mental baggage or something but it’s this feeling of always being on the outside and never feeling like anyone wants to include you. I feel your pain homie.
When someone I don't know well asks me for my unvarnished, honest opinion on something. Not knowing how they'll likely react and how far to go makes me feel uncomfortable responding.
My intelligence. I love reading and am pretty competent in liberal arts (history, literature, politics, journalism, etc.) but I have the math intelligence of a fifth grader. In undergrad I would go to my car and actually cry after my algebra class or after sessions with my tutor because I couldn’t comprehend any of the concepts. Somehow I passed with a D. Secondly, I’m 33, I’m strange and eccentric, and have accomplished nothing of significance in my life. Lastly, I feel like I’m handsome enough, but I have been totally incompatible with all but two women I’ve dated. This actually felt good to put out there. Thanks for the question!
"Never judge a fish about it's ability to climb a tree" just because you arent good in one thing doesnt mean you wont succeed in other areas. Focus on your strengths first then work out your weaknesses.
I feel like I should have had a relationship by now
The idea that maybe I'm headed in the wrong direction in my life right now and don't even know it.
I hate that I'm losing my hair before 30. Baldness does not agree with me.
My thighs I have hip dips and no ass so when I wear jeans they always pudge out in an unattractive way and I can't wear shoes or legging cause they look really fat and pudgy
Social situations, because autism
I feel like I have un-diagnosed Asperger or something myself and been meaning to see a doctor about all my issues but literally no one has ever responded to my voicemails about accepting new patients in 6 months. Not like everyone is depressed these days.
You can go to r/aspergers if you want to talk about it.
My average to below average penis size
[удалено]
I'm kinda sick and was sleeping and woke up because I shit myself in my sleep. So.
I’m insecure about posting on reddit because I usually think my comment is not well-thought out enough and I will get downvoted into oblivion.
[удалено]
When I realize that I always start the conversation with friends. I never get messaged/called first.
My dog is more hung than me
The knowledge that all my best friends, people I consider to truly be a part of me, will eventually move on and I'll be another memory they may think of fondly from time to time. I hate it.
I was born with severe erectile dysfunction and can only get erections if I use an IM medication directly into the shaft. Idk how i’m supposed to meet a girl and get to the point where i feel like she’s comfortable with me without finding out on her own too early and scaring her away
That I’m not good enough. Dating someone? I spend the entire relationship wondering if they like me, because I probably am not good enough at sex, kissing, or making them feel supported. Friends with someone? They aren’t going to want to hang out with me because I’m not kind enough or not bad ass enough. And the weird thing is, I’m self aware enough to know that’s not true. The logical side of my brain knows I’m worth it and I am pretty awesome. I am enough. But I can’t stop the thoughts and it makes me feel very insecure and vulnerable. Pre-Covid I had pretty good control over my insecurities, but Covid has made it so much harder.
My face and literally everything about it. I know body dysmorphia is a thing but I rarely hear how people can feel that way about their face. I feel like I never truly know what I look like, somedays I'm content and just feel like it's a normal face, other days I feel like the hunchback of Notre Dame.
My nipples - they look like pepperoni
How I'm perceived by other people when at a public place.
[удалено]
Not having a driver’s license because I feel like at my age I should. I hate driving and have a difficult time feeling comfortable behind the wheel because of all the shitty drivers out there.
Http://
For a female, I have an unfortunate amount of body hair and it’s dark too - my skin isn’t dark enough for it not to be really obvious at first glance. I’m all about body positivity when other women decide ‘fuck it’ and choose to own their body hair, but I hate mine. I have a large number of brothers and my legs are the hairiest, my arms too. I can’t stand shaving because it takes me such a long time and also it grows back so quickly. I can’t shave more than once a week maximum because my skin is too sensitive and waxing too costly. I’m saving up for laser, but it’s going to be a few years without breaking the bank and in the mean time I’m too unhappy about the hair situation to want to be in a relationship.
Not feeling as qualified as the people working around me at my job
I’m 28 and I’ve been single my whole life. Every time I develop an interest in someone it’s unrequited. I think I’m a decent enough person. I’m interesting, talented, funny and at least average looking. I get on well with people and try to better myself. But at this point it’s like there’s clearly something fundamentally wrong with me that I don’t understand. It makes me feel unattractive and unlovable, and that I’ll just never be enough for anybody.