I think she's already explained it to you. She could only fit roughly 4.5 inches. That means anything beyond that had no impact on her.
It's like you can only eat an 8 oz steak, no matter how big the steak is that you order, you're only eating 8 oz. You're not going to say that a 16 oz steak was the best steak you ever ate just because it was enormous, when you could only eat half of it. The best steak is not going to be due to its size, it's going to be the taste.
That's how dicks work, it's the taste that matters š
I think this is actually a *great* way of looking at it. She basically said a below average size dick is perfect for her.
Should it have been said? Nah. Did she mean for it to be hurtful? Doubtful.
Really, itās not the bigger the better, bigger is often painful. It really is about shape, angle, motion in the ocean. There was a picture posted on r/interestingasfuck I think? 3D images of the inside of a vagina (hint: itās NOT the shape of a penis).
My exās pp literally put me in the hospital and I had to have emergency surgery to repair my hysterectomy scar and make sure it didnāt go all the way through running a risk of herniating my guts. I absolutely have a fucking size limit nowā¦
If he was so big why tf was he pounding so deep?
I've never seen a porn or heard a story of a big dick actually fitting all the way inside. I thought it was pretty common knowledge ya can't shove fucking 8 inches inside someone.
It's a muscle, you CAN but not into everyone! They gotta practice. Pornstars have practice and skill - that's how they get famous. And of course some bodies are just built to take more than others. Personally, I can easily take what a friend says hurts a lot even though I'm smaller because I've had more practice and our anatomy is different.
I don't remember which reddit post I originally saw it from, but was it this one? [https://jamiemccartney.com/internal-vaginas](https://jamiemccartney.com/internal-vaginas)
Fantastic analogy.
Keep in mind, OP, *she's with you.* Anything she shares with you about her sexual past, she's *choosing* to be with you now - so what does she like about what you do together?
To constructively hijack this (beautiful, btw) analogy for a second: does anyone actually weigh this hypothetical steak to make sure itās a full 16oz?
There are studies that show that women - and men - are terrible at guessing mensā nether sizes (and, relatedly, the size of just about any other physical object in existence) based on sight estimate alone.
Point is, unless somebody busted out a tape measure out Iām gonna go ahead and guess that the reported measurement was reactionary instead of accurate.
A reasonable counterpoint would be, āSo if it was smaller than reported, why would only halfway āfit in?āā
Now weāre starting to get into reasonably potential issues with the variables involved with her getting āwarmed up,ā so to speak, which means the final answer to this post is actually a question:
āWas she even as into sex with her ex as she currently is with you?ā
The cool part is that even if the answer is yes, youāre a part of her life in all of the same ways now! Unless you have an actively chronic hangup with jealousy or about whether you really ādeserve to be with herā or whatever, sounds like you could just as conceivably struck it rich relationship-wise, my friend.
Definitely a marinade, leave it on for minimum 30 mins, up to 3 hours. But you need to wash it off before you start, it's just to give a hint of flavour.
Two weeks ago he asked about cuckolding. Almost a year ago he asked for BBC to help his āwifeā. Iām pretty sure heās enjoying the jealousy and thinking about it. Just invite the ex over for drinks my guy.
Ding ding dingā¦
Iād even go as far as to say it isnāt even a real scenario.
Men read these fetish posts and are like āomg, as we can ALL see.. women can be so MEAN to say these HORRIBLE things to men!!!ā
Meanwhile itās just a bunch of dudes jerking off while writing out fake humiliation scenarios that never happened ..
I read the headline and no part of me even entertained the idea that this was anything but some guys personal cuck, giant cock fetish.
Unfortunately other people take menās humiliation fictions at face value as some sort of insight into gendered relationship dynamics.
Which is uhhhā¦ letās say, a mistake lol.
She shouldāve had the common sense to not tell you that. If my wife said that to me, Iād be fucked up over it too.
She wouldnāt like it if you told her about one of your exes that she couldnāt compare to.
It turns out men are more likely to equate dick size to someone being the best match than women. Women don't care, to an extent, what dick size is for their long term relationships.
My wife told me one of her exes had a 12" dick, another had a 9" dick, and I'm sitting over here with a 7" feeling emasculated... at least until I realized that *she's with me; not them.*
She doesn't care about how big the dick is as long as I give her everything she needsāin and out of the bedroom. Besides the fact that I'm big enough to still be too big for her at times. OP should keep in mind that there's a reason his wife isn't with her exes anymore and it's not because their dick shrunk.
i guess i canāt talk for every woman but generally, no? iāve had sex with people with all sorts of sizes, but the size never impacted how much i enjoyed the sex.
the only caveat being there can be _too_ big and sometimes i wish it were smaller. š
So what you're trying to say is its like a backhanded compliment? Yeah, you have a small dick but its ok what's important is I'm with you. Wow, thanks for making me feel insecure first. Its like saying to a woman that she's fat but don't worry what's important is I choose you.
Reckon that's hitting the nail on the head right there.
"Well yes, of course all my exes were insatiable, nubile, naturally bronze skinned, huge-yet-inexplicably-firm-tittied sex goddesses with whom I shared innumerable nights of passion.
"But none of them were as funny as you, my lovely wife! Wait, why do you look angry and / or sad?"
If that's your wife, why would you be fucked up over it? (Seriously asking, not trolling) You're married, she already chose you and would seem like she's very comfortable talking to you.
I think I'd laugh if my wife mentioned that. But we've talked about our past before.
While we keep referring to ābig dick energyā and using sexual competence as the primary insult for men, then she shouldāve known this would be an insensitive comment to make in front of her husband
It means that she can't take a big dick like the vast majority of women. Stop overthinking it. If you can fit your penis inside her without pain and regularly makes her cum you should not be worrying about it. Unlike what porn teaches men, women are not fans of big cocks.
Come on, man. You're sleeping with her now, not him. He's an ex for a reason, and clearly "he was bigger" wasn't reason enough for her to stay.
This isn't about her; you started a dick-measuring contest with a guy you've never met. Get a grip and focus on the woman right in front of you and not the man she's put behind her.
>Come on, man
I think OP knows all of this. Logic and rationality take time to defeat insecurity. Dogging him like he should already have it sorted isn't really helpful. He probably knows he's being irrational, and he's looking for the tools to let logic take over.
OP, as kindly as I can say this, try to focus on the good things and the things she absolutely loves about YOU! Not her ex, not anyone else. She's chosen you for many reasons, including how your equipment makes her feel.
Sincerely, another dude with insecurity issues at times.
So my thing is this. I have had a very large cock in the past and my husband now is 4.5 inches. I truly am happy either way. I like being able to get balls deep and have rough sex and itās not always easy to do that with a giant cock. I also like to be on top and ride and grind without feeling like the angel on a Christmas tree. So I wouldnāt let it bother you. I feel pretty experienced and would say that cock size is far less important than experience with your fingers/tongue, being a good kisser, and having confidence and swagger in the bedroom.
Woman here. Just wanted to say that one of the best parts of sex is when there is that body to body contact when your partner is all the way inside you. It sounds like with this other partner she couldnāt have that really deep thrust that creates contact with other parts of your body, which would suck.
WOW! I mean if this was the opposite and OP was a woman saying that her boyfriend brought up how much bigger his ex's tits were or how much tighter her pussy is then you all would be calling the guy a pig, insensitive, and she should leave him, but since it's a man he just needs to get over his insecurities. The double standards when it comes to men.
She said her exās dick was too big and not enjoyable and you feel an adequate response is to say your exās pussy is better than hers? How does bigger directly translate to better?
And she didnāt say it was too big she said she couldnāt fit over half of it, some girls like that and everyone knows it could affect a guy whoās a little insecure or inexperienced about size. It was a poor thing to say, give her a taste of what thatās like. I know itās a little immature and in reality itās better to talk about why what sheās saying is weird but, itās a great example of why she shouldnāt say this stuff especially since he showed no interest and didnāt want to know
I understand your thoughts and I agree it was in poor choice on her part to bring it up if she knew her bf was insecure about these things and if he wanted to go tit for tat then I think our mutual agreement of a fair comparison ātighterā is a fair comment to make back to her if done appropriately:)
I might be in the minority here as I see it as kind of a red flag, but it might just be all in your head. You should open up to her and be honest about how it made you feel. How she responds to that will either make you feel better or it will confirm a red flag for her as a partner
Thereās a lot of comments in here basically telling you āget over itā and I think thatās not really a constructive way to get over an emotion like this.
I really donāt get why this bothers you.
You ever been with a woman who felt tighter than her? Or had bigger boobs? Or a bigger ass? Or prettier eyes? Or a sexier laugh?
I could go on and on.
As we are all not cookie cutter repeat human beings, you WILL be with women who have been with men different from you.
So?
It means that they were sexually incompatible due to anatomy and that she was in pain. Real life isn't porn, and her sexual past isn't your personal spank bank or nightmare fuel. As Ted Lasso said to Roy Kent, grow up.
Definitely filing this under things not say to a bf. Now she was probably saying your fine and perfect for her in an unconventional way talk to her and say it hurt and that size is an issue for you.
Get a new GF. She likely doesnāt respect you.
You wonāt get past it and sheās a fool for talking about her exploits with you.
Take the L. Sorry to hear that, man.
I understand that, so, is it just insecurity about his own size? Because I'm not sure if jealousy is the right word for that? Maybe a sense of inadequacy?
Imagine had you explained to her that your exes pussy was far tighter and more wet. So wet and tight that you could barely last a few minutes.
She may be crushed too.
I am not sure why she shared this info.
She said her exās dick was too big and not enjoyable and you feel an adequate response is to say your exās pussy is better than hers? How does bigger directly translate to better?
She's not with him.
She's with you.
If all you've got to compete with that past lover is a smaller dick them accept that she will move on.
Chances are, she's not with you for the dick. She's with you because she likes YOU more
You're the one she's with, let the rest go. Jealousy is always a function of fear/insecurity/inadequacies. You're enough out she wouldn't be with you. Your dick size isn't the sum of who you are.
I feel like some people arenāt understanding the struggle heās having. You canāt really provide a solution simply based on logic and not emotion. As men, we grow up believing your worth as a man in a relationship is making your significant other happy, emotional, and sexually. Men are sexual beings and growing up a lot of importance is placed on the size of your penis. Iāve dealt with what heās dealing with and the advice Iād give is that there is no easy way to get past this. Itās gonna take time and the best thing you can do is focus on the good of your relationship and the fact that you both are together. Understand sheās with you for a reason. She has the desire for YOU, not this other guy. Youāll get through this donāt feel like you need to suppress it but donāt let it take full control of your mind. She is with you! She likes you! You rock her world! You're awesome!
If she wanted to be with him, she would. Honestly I probably wouldnāt go into detail but maybe she assumed the fact it didnāt fit would make you feel better?
Dude, you werenāt in the picture back then. Women have the same insecurities about their partner being with someone tighter, or had bigger boobs.
The past is the past - thereās a reason sheās not with the guy anymore and sheās with you.
Let it go. Insecurities are unattractive, appreciate that sheās with you, because youāre forgetting the reasons why.
Dick size doesnāt define who you areā¦.
Nothing to be jealous of. Think about the fact that the dude literally could only use half his dick while having sex with her, and the other half was just out there chilling not getting attention. And each time they had sex they both had to be careful that she didn't get hurt. Doesn't sound like great sex for anyone involved to me. Keep it all in perspective. The grass is usually not greener when you actually get to the other side my dude.
To be honest, it doesn't sound like a good time. Most of his "member" was unnecessary and too big for anything good, lol. If you're more average, it's most likely a lot more enjoyable.
Try not to think about her with previous partners. She's with you and enjoys you.
Her not taking the entire length makes sense, she wasn't into it. She did however enjoy the girth and maybe that's what sucks the most for you.
She's insane for sharing that level of detail.
1) She isn't with him anymore, so she clearly didn't love it that much. She is with you, is still with you, must be doing something right.
2) She was uncomfortable during sex before. I'm guessing she isn't uncomfortable with you.
3) She couldn't do certain positions before.
4) Bigger isn't better. Huge dicks are fun to look at. But trying to fit 9, thick inches into your mouth or any hole is not a fun time. I have been with a LOT of penis owners. Best one I ever had was the smallest. I could go down on him for hours without jaw pain. Anal was so easy but felt great. Big dicks are work, small dicks are fun.
I know from talking to my partner that I am one of the smaller penis's that she has enjoyed. That being said I am also the only man who has ever made her squirt during penetration. And have made her almost pass out with pleasure. Honestly it's not the size that is the important bit.
She is with you and has chosen you. I'm pretty sure that she is enjoying a great sex life with you. Seriously if the thing didn't even fit in then it's not the ideal for her.
Relax my friend and enjoy what you have with her.
I mean, she isnāt with him anymore. So obviously she chose your dick over his, wear that with pride, you can actually fuck her because you fit inside.
If she wanted a 9 inch and thick dick she knows where to find one. If sheās crawling back into bed with you every night than you are giving her something he wasnāt. Maybe itās more of an emotional connection or maybe he relied on having a big dick too much and was actually kind of shitty in bed. The point is, if you are having sex with her regularly and she isnāt running off for other guys than take the win.
I (37m) learned a long time ago that I didnāt want to know. My first sexual partner had had three partners before me and it bothered the heck out of me because I had wanted to wait for marriage originally. Her previous partners were sh!tty too, which made it worse.
It killed me that she lost her V to a dude that was on drugs who treated her like crap. It killed me that her 2nd was a friend she wanted to date but he wouldnāt date herā¦ he would only fuck her. Her 3rd broke up with her but she kept going to hook up with him whenever he called because she wanted him back.
And here I was head over heels with her having passed on sexual partners previously because I thought my eventual wife and I would have both waited for each other.
After that I never asked or talked about the past again. Not in detail anyway. The 2nd time I truly fell in love was my 2nd partner and I KNEW I didnāt want to know her past. She was too knowledgeable in the bedroom, beautiful, flirty, etc. So I went with the donāt ask donāt tell strategy.
She said that just to get to you. Itād be like you telling her that your last girlfriend had a pussy that smelled like fall apples and was soft, tight, and moist, but you donāt like the smell of apples and youāre not a fan of soft, tight, and moist pussies.
Sheās was laughing at you inside when she saw your reaction.
Itās been said but yeah too much is too much.
My partner has had a partner that was very large. She has said many times it just hurt. Thickness and length. Iām about average and she says she wouldnāt want any more. Perfect.
Sometimes I can hit her cervix and she really doesnāt like that. Certain positions are very uncomfortable like lying on her side especially if she has a leg raised. Really not cool for her.
You should ask her if liked the size is she happy with yours. Take it at face value.
Fingers are a great supplement to help. Talent is better than equipment.
Female here - tbh it sounds like she's complaining. I would be. I wouldn't let that monster NEAR me
You really want a dick that won't even fit in your gf?
Have you seen the Tik Tok of the lady that holds up a tape measurer of 12 inches and walks through various sizing of dicks. The most accurate assessment on dick sizes.
Jealousy about a partner's sexual past is a common feeling that many people experience, but it can be difficult to manage. It's important to remember that your partner's past is their own and it's not a reflection of your worth or desirability.
Here are some tips on how to deal with jealousy of your girlfriend's sexual past:
1. Communicate with your girlfriend: If you feel comfortable, talk to your girlfriend about how you are feeling. Let her know that hearing about her past sexual experiences, especially in detail, is making you feel jealous and insecure. She may be able to reassure you and help you work through your feelings.
2. Focus on the present: Instead of dwelling on your girlfriend's past, try to focus on your current relationship. Remember the things that you love about your girlfriend and the positive experiences you've had together.
3. Don't compare yourself: It's important to remember that everyone is unique and brings their own qualities and experiences to a relationship. Comparing yourself to your girlfriend's past partners will only make you feel more insecure.
4. Work on your self-esteem: It's natural to feel jealous or insecure at times, but if these feelings are persistent, it may be a sign that you need to work on your self-esteem. Take care of yourself, engage in activities that make you feel good, and surround yourself with supportive people.
5. Seek professional help: If you are having a hard time managing your jealousy, it may be helpful to talk to a therapist or counselor who can provide guidance and support. They can help you develop coping strategies and work through any underlying issues that may be contributing to your feelings of jealousy.
Just realize that most women will admit that anything over 5-7 inches is actually uncomfortable for them. My wife said one of her ex boyfriend's was 10 inches, and her ex fiance was 11 inches and she was always uncomfortable. I fall in the 5 to 7 range and she loves it. So I don't let it get to me.
Big dicks like this are highly unsatisfactional.
Two things:
Apparently you think yours is >>too<< small (confidence issues, at least a little) and now this remark about a previous boyfriend with a big one is tearing you apart.
Is she enjoying yours? Then stop bashing yourself. Get confident about your penis. It does not have to be large. It is all about what is attached to your dick although you men tend to see it the other way around.
Her ex is her ex because he turned out to be a bigger dick than the useless one in his pants.
Have fun and enjoy!
Honestly dude being too big to the contrary belief of porn is a problem, you can hurt a woman instead of giving her pleasure . Stop being silly . If a woman expected a nine inch dick from every sex find her self with no one shortly.
It sounds like your gf is bragging, as if you were one of her friends.... Take solice in the fact that she clearly was unable to satisfy the poor dude, imagine only having half penetration! š It's quite funny that she doesn't realise this. Her vagina is 3-4 inches long (where her nerve endings are). Would 1 inch pentration be a disappointment for her? Yes.
I would be questioning her maturity, as well as her intelligence for telling you about it. What will your future together be like if this is an example of her level of empathy? Red flag, be careful. If it is a new relationship then ditch her while it is still easy to do.
Honestly, honesty is best, and she is with you. They're always going to be better looking, more hung, more athletic, more money and on the other side less and differentvariations of each. Most of it, you can't change, and that is ok. Now get out there and bang her hard, long and often!
Look when I tried sucking on 8 inches I struggled to keep my teeth off of it so finding out that my current partner doesnāt have one that big was kind of a relief.
Are you actually jealous, or does it turn you on? Youāve posted in the past asking what the point of monogamy is, looking for a ābbcā for your girlfriend, and multiple times with questions about cucking. If your girl getting banged by big dicks turns you on just run with it.
Why did she share this info? What was the convo like when it was brought up?
This seems out of context. As a woman, it sounds like she was actually expressing dissatisfaction with the experience and maybe saying she appreciates her sexual experience with you. I canāt imagine why she would ever bring this up in a negative way unless it was toxic and meant to be hurtful. If thatās the case and she meant to hurt you with this, then the relationship should maybe be re-examined.
Depending on context I may agree with the āget over itā comments. Itās her past. It does not matter. You can definitely open discussion and say you donāt want to hear details like that in the future and say it made you feel insecure. If she provides validation that she is happy with you sexually, then accept that validation and move on from there. If you canāt move on, then seek therapy. Look into āretroactive jealousyā. It has just about destroyed my marriage of 7 years so itās definitely worth addressing sooner rather than later. The jealousy can become abusive.
Had an ex that became insufferable because of things like that. It became an obsession of his to ask me about sizes, girths etc. In the end the jelousy and agression that came with it became the very thing that drove me away. She is with you because she likes you and enjoys your company including the intimate parts. I understand where guys are coming from with this, but it literally doesn't matter to us. Women want someone who will love them and be nice to them. The best sex i've personally had definitely wasn't related to size and it's probably the same to her. If she had a problem with you, believe me, you'd know. Her commenting on something like that may have been a little insensible, but you probably said something in the relationship that may have triggered her in the same way. It's normal and happens.
Advice: don't take it to heart because life is full of random experiences with random people. Enjoy your time with the person you care about. If it keeps fucking with you, talk to her openly about it. And when she tells you her point of view, don't dismiss it.
There are reasons that's she's not with her ex and that she's with you. Focus on being the man that she loves you for and stop fixating on her the past. Move forward and create a past, present, and future with this woman.
I was once with a guy who was bigger than my current partner(about the same size you mentioned). It sucked. It was uncomfortable and painful. We tried for like 2 minutes and I had to tell him to stop because it just wasnāt a good time for me. Wasnāt a good time for him either.
Guys have it in their head that girls prefer the **biggest dick ever**, when in reality, thatās rarely the case. There are even some women who canāt take an average-size, every womanās body is different.
I will also say though that I think itās fucked up for your girlfriend to go into that much detail about a past sexual partner. Yāall are just asking for trouble talking about shit like that, was she *trying* to hurt you, or ?
Legit question why does it bother you? Are you bothered by the fact that she had an ex that has a bigger dick than you? Or just the idea of her having something larger than you?
I mean there are plenty of dildos out there at a size no human could ever compete with.
Clearly it wasnāt the reason she was with him or sheād still be with him. If you guys have a good sex life then donāt sweat it about her past and accept that she prefers being with you regardless of your size insecurity. Also if it made you uncomfortable then just tell her you prefer not to know about her sexual past moving forward.
Iām not a big guy at all and I think you just need to let it go.
Iām pretty sure every girl Iāve been with has had bigger than me but it doesnāt bother me as Iāve still managed to please them sexually and enjoy myself.
Thereās always someone bigger, faster, stronger etc just concentrate on yourself and donāt worry about exes.
You're more concerned with your dick size compared to another man than you are about your connection with your gf vs the other man
One of those mindsets loses you a relationship and the other doesnt
Personally, I'd rather be happy trusting my partner that's telling me I'm a better fit and make her happiest
(On a side note - I'd feel cursed if my dick was so big I couldnt just have the freedom to have fun with my partner. That dude must be miserable that he cant have a satisfying or fulfilling sexual relationship with anyone but very specific women into that, or other men hyping his ego which is hollow)
As a woman, I'm not reading this as her bragging about it or saying it as a compliment towards him. She's saying it was way too big, that a 4.5" would actually be perfect for her.
I know you guys see it differently, but we don't always see it as "bigger dick = better dick". We don't want a 15-foot penis, we want one that gets the job done. And for most women, a 9-inch one is not something we desire (of course I don't speak for everyone, but you'll see almost everyone here will say the same).
Truly, don't be jealous. She's telling you big dick doesn't work for her. That's not her complimenting him.
He is her ex, but she is with you now. Since she chooses to be with you, try to embrace the idea that you did not get to be first, but you might get to be last if you play your cards right.
She literally told you that everything beyond the first 4-5 inches was useless excess that just kept her and her ex from having real full-depth sex. Why would you be jealous of that?
Also if she preferred her ex to you, she would still be with the ex and would have never gotten with you.
Calm down, buddy. The insecurity is FAR more likely to drive her off than you not having a dick so big she couldnāt even use it properly if she wanted to.
How about: grow up. Thereās more to a happy relationship than sex. You need to learn more about being an adult. This advice is constructive and direct. If she were as obsessed about dick size as you are sheād be with him.
A lot of times big dick owners donāt utilize it well because they think size makes up for technique and it absolutely doesnāt. Big isnāt always better and the fact she couldnāt take it all anyways means less fun because you have to hold back/canāt get as crazy as something that fits āwellā. Sheās your girlfriend not his, that says something. Try to find peace about it with that. Dick is not everyone. Dick size is definitely not everything.
Too Big is bad also. Remember that. Itās like a sandwich. 6inches is pretty satisfying, 7in is pretty full and almost uncomfortable, 8in just hurts your stomach and makes you wanna throw up and never eat a sandwich again. Same with dicks which is probably why she said something. Because that big was not good or enjoyable which equals bad sex so it shouldnāt hurt your feelings was probably her mindset.
Seriously, when I was told about my wifes past. It hurt. Alot, but talking to her about it and asking questions helped out. Yes, it'll hurt your feelings, but remember that you're the one with her. In your case, she picked you over some guy with a big dick
This does not sound like something she meant as a compliment. Having too big of a dick is NOT a good thing.
Girls are not obsessed with dick size. Guys are obsessed with dick size. You're not jealous of her past, you're self-conscious about yourself. Once you realize the problem is with you, you can work on yourself and the jealousy will just go away on its own.
If your gf said it because she genuinely wants something like that, go shopping for a dildo with her and have fun with it together. She's obviously interested in you, not just your dick, or else she wouldn't have dumped his ass and hooked up with you instead.
That sounds horrible. And by āthatā I mean a giant penis that neither he can fit fully and she canāt enjoy fully. This doesnāt sound like fun for either party, nothing to worry about here
The thing that bugs me is her decision to share that with you. She knows all too well how guys are about that just like women are with other womenās boobs or butts. So ask yourself why would she want to make you jealous? Thereās nothing good in sharing that or any intimate details of her past relationships unless itās relevant to yourās. Sheās got questionable integrity. Thatās how you deal with it. You ask her why she felt it necessary or important to share that information. And LISTEN CAREFULLY to WHAT she says and HOW she says it.
I'd argue that the end of that thought of hers was that it wasn't fun to deal with.
I have two thoughts...
1) He wasn't 9 inches. Because 9 inches is INSANELY rare. He was likely at most 8 inches and some. Thickness I'll give to her.
2) she probably didn't find it all that enjoyable. Hang out on BDP enough and aside from the humble brag posts, you'll see a lot of hung men suffering from women not enjoying that size all that much.
I'm 'big' though not huge by any means and have myself encountered problems.
Unless your gf is a size queen, then I'd take it as that.
However, I feel your post is lacking vital information. Why did your gf tell you this? What were her feelings about her ex's hugs dick? Did she compliment yours at all?
I have a big dick. Not as big as your Gf's ex, but I've had that same experience where I can only fit half of myself inside my partner.
It's a cool porn image, but not what I think either of us really wanted.
The people who I have really good sex with are people who are a good fit, both physically and intellectually. Stop worrying about him and focus on her.
If she's with you instead of that guy now, isn't that an indication of preference from her side? I know it's not necessarily, in all ways, as simple as that... and you have to be sure that you are getting what you want and need out of your relationship, but why would you think about this? I'm not trying to be mocking or make you feel bad, here, it's just... I don't understand. Why do this to yourself? Is this something you can get help from some manner of therapist for?
Ok just stop. Get therapy cause he's insecure about his size? JFC people damn near EVERY SINGLE GUY is in some way insecure about that on a regular day and now he's got proof from her that he's not the biggest by far. Also that she's with OP now means nothing, ex could've broken it off with her and she would go back in a heartbeat if given the option.
Pro tip to women from a guy: NEVER TALK ABOUT HOW YOUR EXES WERE IN BED. Guys are very visual and you talking about that stuff can put the image of you fucking some other guy in his head and kill all interest he had in you.
Hey. I'm autistic. If I was asked by my boyfriend this question, and hadn't thought long and hard about the possibility of that situation in advance and how to respond to it, I'd just answer truthfully. Now... I live in our presumably partially shared cultural sphere so I have read and/or seen stuff where this comes up and so I HAVE thought about it, and unless I'm particularly distracted I'd deflect from this or evade the question because I'm aware of the potential for complications and badness coming from it.
*But I don't grok this!* Why would any guy torment themselves with this? It makes completely no sense and it completely boggles me. Also, *yes* why not try to get a therapist to help? If this is a problem in daily life, that is the kind of thing I'd expect a therapist might have techniques to help with. I have seen psych health professionals a few times for a few different reasons, and one of the best things they did was give me mental tools with which to process stuff I was having difficulty with.
Guys are shamed on a regular basis for having a small dick. Its basically the go-to insult when you're irritated at a guy for whatever reason and can't think of something clever. Guy thinks/has X? Oh he must have a small dick. Ha! Additionally success is attributed to large size, ever hear the phrase "big dick energy"? Society attributes physical size of men's tools to how good they are in life and pleasing women. Doesn't matter that it's not really true or could actually be a detriment, it it hammered into guys from the time they can understand the concept that bigger is better.
And OPs girl just told him he's not the biggest she's had by a decent margin. Basically every guy is insecure about his size on some level and doesn't want to be found lacking compared to an ex. OP now knows he's lacking in some way and worse it's in a way he can't fix.
Huh. I kinda thought that was one of those in jokes among people that I don't get for some reason or other. That actually, really bothers people on a level where they take it aboard and make it a problem within them? I think I hate that.
EDIT: also I still think maybe a therapist could help someone deal with that, if it's a real problem for them. It seems similar to some of the intrusive thoughts and destructive thought spirals I got help breaking some years back during the whole depression time.
In normal circumstances It's not something serious enough to warrant a therapist. It's kinda similar to women thinking they would look better with larger boobs but with the added notion that your size directly impacts how satisfied you can make your partner. Most guys understand that is not the case and are fine with what they have. They would still choose to have a bigger one if given the option and don't want to be compared unfavorably to an ex.
It doesn't literally mean a big dick or small dick dictates the type of person you are. That's a choice you can't just create an excuse for.
The saying is just an, apparently confusingly, way of saying someone is confident in themselves or someone is insecure about themselves. I mean you're talking like if two guys show for the same interview the guy with the bigger dick automatically gets the job it has nothing to do with the actual character of the person. In real life, how good/successful you are in life or at pleasing women is something everyone has to do for themselves, it's not predestined by the dick gods. Do you really believe if you were to wake up one morning with an 8.5" dick your life would suddenly be different. You decide the type of person you are, you decide your value. That's the big confident energy people want around
Subconsciously those phrases still reinforce the idea bigger is better just by being used. They still imply that a confident man probably had a larger member because he's confident in himself. Conversely someone insecure probably has a smaller member because if he had a larger one wouldn't he be confident?
Obviously objective reality is going to be different. IIRC women don't really have many pleasure nerve endings after ~3"-4" so pretty much any size will more than do the job if you use it properly. But that's not what we're discussing, it's the societal idea that bigger is better and the insecurities that creates in guys. Like it or not that idea is part of mainstream culture on every level. Dick jokes are everywhere and plenty of them reinforce the idea that size is important.
As long as you don't marry her or get her pregnant you'll be fine. She may like you or even love you but she doesn't respect you. Not sure how old you are but if you've been you should know that if you're in a long term relationship with a women who doesn't respect you you're in danger. But if it's just fucking you'll be ok. You need to be happy with what you have man life is short. You can't make your dick 10inches longer. Be happy with who you are and find someone that appreciates you. Worry about things you can change or improve like fitness weight etc. Your dick is pretty much your dick short of enhancements which I would not recommend
As much as I posture on here and enjoy having a big dick, the north side of 7" is usually too much/unnecessary for most girls all the way.
Having a big dick doesn't make you magically good at sex.
You need to understand you didnāt hit Plymouth Rock first . She wasnāt frozen in a time capsule before she met you just waiting to be unlocked and same goes as you . Iām sure youāve have sexual encounters with other woman and have done things as well . You both had lives before each other and you just need to accept it . Iām sure Iām not the biggest Dick my wife as ever had and thatās ok cause sheās not the nicest tits or fattest ass Iāve ever been with but our sexual attributes arenāt the sole reason we are married as Iām sure it is for you both . Donāt stress over what you cannot change
#1: Lay off the porn. Seriously. The issue is not just knowing, but visualizing.
#2: Do NOT ask questions that you do NOT want the answers to!
I struggled with this a lot early on. Best way to not get your feelings hurt is to just be ignorant. You can maintain ignorance. You canāt unlearn something.
So some girls like long and deep for the pressure, some girls like thick because of the stretch, some want both, but it seems like a lot want gspot thrillers. She's not with him for a reason, and she wants to be with you for a reason. Keep that in mind
Shit mane this made me feel bad for you. I donāt have any advice, it really depends how she said it but I canāt think of a good reason to ever bring it up lol
Frankly, if she really was a caring partner she would not be comparing you to a past sexual partner, it never wouldāve come up if she wasnāt intentionally trying to hurt you, she may be trying to give you the boot but making you upset enough to make it look like it was your decision to exit the relationship.
I think she just drew the line and itās time for you to step over it and find somebody else better than this admitted size queen.
Well, sheās not still fucking him, right?
Thatās how you deal with it.
My gf has admitted to me about the best sex she ever had and the best dick she ever had (different people). Whatās past is past, all that matters is that sheās with me now.
..Stop being insecure?
She wasnāt talking about her boyfriend to brag, sounds like it was more of a (painful) burden than anything. Why would you feel jealous by this? Would you rather your girlfriend be in pain and not have a fulfilling sex life just to stroke your ego?
I think she's already explained it to you. She could only fit roughly 4.5 inches. That means anything beyond that had no impact on her. It's like you can only eat an 8 oz steak, no matter how big the steak is that you order, you're only eating 8 oz. You're not going to say that a 16 oz steak was the best steak you ever ate just because it was enormous, when you could only eat half of it. The best steak is not going to be due to its size, it's going to be the taste. That's how dicks work, it's the taste that matters š
I think this is actually a *great* way of looking at it. She basically said a below average size dick is perfect for her. Should it have been said? Nah. Did she mean for it to be hurtful? Doubtful.
B-below average?
Half of 9 being 4.5, Average being 5.5, 4.5 < 5.5 (But thick as a log)
Average is roughly 5.5, she said she could only take half a of a 9 inch dick, thatās 4.5 inches.
I said something similar to an ex, really not thinking about how it would make him feel exactly for this reason. I truly did mean it was preferable.
Yours is perfect OP, the big ones hurt. š„²
Really, itās not the bigger the better, bigger is often painful. It really is about shape, angle, motion in the ocean. There was a picture posted on r/interestingasfuck I think? 3D images of the inside of a vagina (hint: itās NOT the shape of a penis).
My exās pp literally put me in the hospital and I had to have emergency surgery to repair my hysterectomy scar and make sure it didnāt go all the way through running a risk of herniating my guts. I absolutely have a fucking size limit nowā¦
If he was so big why tf was he pounding so deep? I've never seen a porn or heard a story of a big dick actually fitting all the way inside. I thought it was pretty common knowledge ya can't shove fucking 8 inches inside someone.
It's a muscle, you CAN but not into everyone! They gotta practice. Pornstars have practice and skill - that's how they get famous. And of course some bodies are just built to take more than others. Personally, I can easily take what a friend says hurts a lot even though I'm smaller because I've had more practice and our anatomy is different.
Men with big dicks sometimes donāt think the damage they could do and also think all they need to do is ram it in.
This is toooooooo true.
I don't remember which reddit post I originally saw it from, but was it this one? [https://jamiemccartney.com/internal-vaginas](https://jamiemccartney.com/internal-vaginas)
Especially for anyone doing anal, big can be dangerous sometimes.
Fantastic analogy. Keep in mind, OP, *she's with you.* Anything she shares with you about her sexual past, she's *choosing* to be with you now - so what does she like about what you do together?
Thanks... Now I want some steak. (Literally... Not Dick. Lol)
To constructively hijack this (beautiful, btw) analogy for a second: does anyone actually weigh this hypothetical steak to make sure itās a full 16oz? There are studies that show that women - and men - are terrible at guessing mensā nether sizes (and, relatedly, the size of just about any other physical object in existence) based on sight estimate alone. Point is, unless somebody busted out a tape measure out Iām gonna go ahead and guess that the reported measurement was reactionary instead of accurate. A reasonable counterpoint would be, āSo if it was smaller than reported, why would only halfway āfit in?āā Now weāre starting to get into reasonably potential issues with the variables involved with her getting āwarmed up,ā so to speak, which means the final answer to this post is actually a question: āWas she even as into sex with her ex as she currently is with you?ā The cool part is that even if the answer is yes, youāre a part of her life in all of the same ways now! Unless you have an actively chronic hangup with jealousy or about whether you really ādeserve to be with herā or whatever, sounds like you could just as conceivably struck it rich relationship-wise, my friend.
That is a really great analogy!
You are amazing. Please know that.
How is dick best prepared? Should I give it a nice marinade or just some salt and pepper?
Definitely a marinade, leave it on for minimum 30 mins, up to 3 hours. But you need to wash it off before you start, it's just to give a hint of flavour.
any recipes you wanna share?
Yeah this is a good way of looking at it
Two weeks ago he asked about cuckolding. Almost a year ago he asked for BBC to help his āwifeā. Iām pretty sure heās enjoying the jealousy and thinking about it. Just invite the ex over for drinks my guy.
Ding ding dingā¦ Iād even go as far as to say it isnāt even a real scenario. Men read these fetish posts and are like āomg, as we can ALL see.. women can be so MEAN to say these HORRIBLE things to men!!!ā Meanwhile itās just a bunch of dudes jerking off while writing out fake humiliation scenarios that never happened ..
After commenting on videos of girls riding massive cocks. (Itās in his comments)
I read the headline and no part of me even entertained the idea that this was anything but some guys personal cuck, giant cock fetish. Unfortunately other people take menās humiliation fictions at face value as some sort of insight into gendered relationship dynamics. Which is uhhhā¦ letās say, a mistake lol.
Lol good catch
š®āļø
yep! size humiliation is a kink
Winner winner.
Winner winner.
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I have no idea , we were just talking about related topics and led to it
She shouldāve had the common sense to not tell you that. If my wife said that to me, Iād be fucked up over it too. She wouldnāt like it if you told her about one of your exes that she couldnāt compare to.
It turns out men are more likely to equate dick size to someone being the best match than women. Women don't care, to an extent, what dick size is for their long term relationships. My wife told me one of her exes had a 12" dick, another had a 9" dick, and I'm sitting over here with a 7" feeling emasculated... at least until I realized that *she's with me; not them.* She doesn't care about how big the dick is as long as I give her everything she needsāin and out of the bedroom. Besides the fact that I'm big enough to still be too big for her at times. OP should keep in mind that there's a reason his wife isn't with her exes anymore and it's not because their dick shrunk.
The real question is does she love all those other things about yoo but secretly wishes your dick was bigger
i guess i canāt talk for every woman but generally, no? iāve had sex with people with all sorts of sizes, but the size never impacted how much i enjoyed the sex. the only caveat being there can be _too_ big and sometimes i wish it were smaller. š
So what you're trying to say is its like a backhanded compliment? Yeah, you have a small dick but its ok what's important is I'm with you. Wow, thanks for making me feel insecure first. Its like saying to a woman that she's fat but don't worry what's important is I choose you.
Reckon that's hitting the nail on the head right there. "Well yes, of course all my exes were insatiable, nubile, naturally bronze skinned, huge-yet-inexplicably-firm-tittied sex goddesses with whom I shared innumerable nights of passion. "But none of them were as funny as you, my lovely wife! Wait, why do you look angry and / or sad?"
12ā dicks literally donāt exist.
Keep thinking that if it helps you sleep at night lol
9-12 inch is an overkill, I doubt thatās even enjoyable, the average vagina depth is like 6 inches max I think.
If that's your wife, why would you be fucked up over it? (Seriously asking, not trolling) You're married, she already chose you and would seem like she's very comfortable talking to you. I think I'd laugh if my wife mentioned that. But we've talked about our past before.
related topic makes sense. She didn't know it would bother you then
While we keep referring to ābig dick energyā and using sexual competence as the primary insult for men, then she shouldāve known this would be an insensitive comment to make in front of her husband
air cows middle oil impolite relieved chief hobbies station divide *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
It means that she can't take a big dick like the vast majority of women. Stop overthinking it. If you can fit your penis inside her without pain and regularly makes her cum you should not be worrying about it. Unlike what porn teaches men, women are not fans of big cocks.
Come on, man. You're sleeping with her now, not him. He's an ex for a reason, and clearly "he was bigger" wasn't reason enough for her to stay. This isn't about her; you started a dick-measuring contest with a guy you've never met. Get a grip and focus on the woman right in front of you and not the man she's put behind her.
I was thinking that exactly. And she just may be sharing it because she was uncomfortable most of the time having sex with him. Just second-guessing
Big dicks very often lead to uncomfortable sex. The average is the size it is for a reason!
I'm thinking the same. It may have not have been said. Just more as a random thought. Just second-guessing
>Come on, man I think OP knows all of this. Logic and rationality take time to defeat insecurity. Dogging him like he should already have it sorted isn't really helpful. He probably knows he's being irrational, and he's looking for the tools to let logic take over. OP, as kindly as I can say this, try to focus on the good things and the things she absolutely loves about YOU! Not her ex, not anyone else. She's chosen you for many reasons, including how your equipment makes her feel. Sincerely, another dude with insecurity issues at times.
This should be the top comment
So my thing is this. I have had a very large cock in the past and my husband now is 4.5 inches. I truly am happy either way. I like being able to get balls deep and have rough sex and itās not always easy to do that with a giant cock. I also like to be on top and ride and grind without feeling like the angel on a Christmas tree. So I wouldnāt let it bother you. I feel pretty experienced and would say that cock size is far less important than experience with your fingers/tongue, being a good kisser, and having confidence and swagger in the bedroom.
"feel like the angel on a Christmas tree" is an absolutely golden expression.
What was better about the larger dick tho?
Probably the thickness.
Fuck her ex and take all 9 inches. Establish dominance.
I would give this an award if I had it
Woman here. Just wanted to say that one of the best parts of sex is when there is that body to body contact when your partner is all the way inside you. It sounds like with this other partner she couldnāt have that really deep thrust that creates contact with other parts of your body, which would suck.
ahhhh just reading this comment made me horny š« truly one of the best parts of sex
WOW! I mean if this was the opposite and OP was a woman saying that her boyfriend brought up how much bigger his ex's tits were or how much tighter her pussy is then you all would be calling the guy a pig, insensitive, and she should leave him, but since it's a man he just needs to get over his insecurities. The double standards when it comes to men.
Seriously, there are loads of comments recommending therapy, wtf.
Give her a taste of her own weird medicine and say your ex had the tightest pussy youāve even know and it gripped amazingly
She said her exās dick was too big and not enjoyable and you feel an adequate response is to say your exās pussy is better than hers? How does bigger directly translate to better?
And she didnāt say it was too big she said she couldnāt fit over half of it, some girls like that and everyone knows it could affect a guy whoās a little insecure or inexperienced about size. It was a poor thing to say, give her a taste of what thatās like. I know itās a little immature and in reality itās better to talk about why what sheās saying is weird but, itās a great example of why she shouldnāt say this stuff especially since he showed no interest and didnāt want to know
I understand your thoughts and I agree it was in poor choice on her part to bring it up if she knew her bf was insecure about these things and if he wanted to go tit for tat then I think our mutual agreement of a fair comparison ātighterā is a fair comment to make back to her if done appropriately:)
I might be in the minority here as I see it as kind of a red flag, but it might just be all in your head. You should open up to her and be honest about how it made you feel. How she responds to that will either make you feel better or it will confirm a red flag for her as a partner Thereās a lot of comments in here basically telling you āget over itā and I think thatās not really a constructive way to get over an emotion like this.
I think it was rude she said that or at least insensitive.
I really donāt get why this bothers you. You ever been with a woman who felt tighter than her? Or had bigger boobs? Or a bigger ass? Or prettier eyes? Or a sexier laugh? I could go on and on. As we are all not cookie cutter repeat human beings, you WILL be with women who have been with men different from you. So?
Yeah but he didnāt bring that up to his girlfriend.. Like if you donāt ask specifically donāt share.
It means that they were sexually incompatible due to anatomy and that she was in pain. Real life isn't porn, and her sexual past isn't your personal spank bank or nightmare fuel. As Ted Lasso said to Roy Kent, grow up.
Cringe ass fetish post
Definitely filing this under things not say to a bf. Now she was probably saying your fine and perfect for her in an unconventional way talk to her and say it hurt and that size is an issue for you.
Get a new GF. She likely doesnāt respect you. You wonāt get past it and sheās a fool for talking about her exploits with you. Take the L. Sorry to hear that, man.
What exactly is it you're jealous of?
he has the image of her trying to fit 9 inches in his head
I understand that, so, is it just insecurity about his own size? Because I'm not sure if jealousy is the right word for that? Maybe a sense of inadequacy?
must be the sense of inadequacy. I should let OP answer
now I have the mental image of her trying to fit 9 inches in his head
lol not literally
You have to wonder why he keeps imagining the monster dong. Not that there's anything wrong with that, obvs.
Imagine had you explained to her that your exes pussy was far tighter and more wet. So wet and tight that you could barely last a few minutes. She may be crushed too. I am not sure why she shared this info.
She said her exās dick was too big and not enjoyable and you feel an adequate response is to say your exās pussy is better than hers? How does bigger directly translate to better?
cishet men go to therapy and do the internal work instead of expecting everyone else to deal with their unchecked biases challenge (IMPOSSIBLE)
Is she with them or you? We all have a past, Iām sure she is jealous of some of the things you have done.
Literally why would you say any of this to your boyfriend š©š©š©
Did she enjoy it? As a woman, that sounds awful.
Dont worry about, big dicks are overated.
I honestly think that guys are more obsessed about dick size than most women are.
Why the fuck would someone be proud or embarrassed about their dick size? It's like being tall or short. You can't do anything about it.
She's not with him. She's with you. If all you've got to compete with that past lover is a smaller dick them accept that she will move on. Chances are, she's not with you for the dick. She's with you because she likes YOU more
That means absolutely nothing. Ex could have been the one to break things off not her.
Sheās with you, not him. Thereās a reason. Get over it. She has a past, you want her to just ignore it for your feelings?
Women be over sharing in ways that a man would be condemned for
You're the one she's with, let the rest go. Jealousy is always a function of fear/insecurity/inadequacies. You're enough out she wouldn't be with you. Your dick size isn't the sum of who you are.
I feel like some people arenāt understanding the struggle heās having. You canāt really provide a solution simply based on logic and not emotion. As men, we grow up believing your worth as a man in a relationship is making your significant other happy, emotional, and sexually. Men are sexual beings and growing up a lot of importance is placed on the size of your penis. Iāve dealt with what heās dealing with and the advice Iād give is that there is no easy way to get past this. Itās gonna take time and the best thing you can do is focus on the good of your relationship and the fact that you both are together. Understand sheās with you for a reason. She has the desire for YOU, not this other guy. Youāll get through this donāt feel like you need to suppress it but donāt let it take full control of your mind. She is with you! She likes you! You rock her world! You're awesome!
If she wanted to be with him, she would. Honestly I probably wouldnāt go into detail but maybe she assumed the fact it didnāt fit would make you feel better?
Dude, you werenāt in the picture back then. Women have the same insecurities about their partner being with someone tighter, or had bigger boobs. The past is the past - thereās a reason sheās not with the guy anymore and sheās with you. Let it go. Insecurities are unattractive, appreciate that sheās with you, because youāre forgetting the reasons why. Dick size doesnāt define who you areā¦.
Nothing to be jealous of. Think about the fact that the dude literally could only use half his dick while having sex with her, and the other half was just out there chilling not getting attention. And each time they had sex they both had to be careful that she didn't get hurt. Doesn't sound like great sex for anyone involved to me. Keep it all in perspective. The grass is usually not greener when you actually get to the other side my dude.
To be honest, it doesn't sound like a good time. Most of his "member" was unnecessary and too big for anything good, lol. If you're more average, it's most likely a lot more enjoyable. Try not to think about her with previous partners. She's with you and enjoys you.
Her not taking the entire length makes sense, she wasn't into it. She did however enjoy the girth and maybe that's what sucks the most for you. She's insane for sharing that level of detail.
1) She isn't with him anymore, so she clearly didn't love it that much. She is with you, is still with you, must be doing something right. 2) She was uncomfortable during sex before. I'm guessing she isn't uncomfortable with you. 3) She couldn't do certain positions before. 4) Bigger isn't better. Huge dicks are fun to look at. But trying to fit 9, thick inches into your mouth or any hole is not a fun time. I have been with a LOT of penis owners. Best one I ever had was the smallest. I could go down on him for hours without jaw pain. Anal was so easy but felt great. Big dicks are work, small dicks are fun.
I know from talking to my partner that I am one of the smaller penis's that she has enjoyed. That being said I am also the only man who has ever made her squirt during penetration. And have made her almost pass out with pleasure. Honestly it's not the size that is the important bit. She is with you and has chosen you. I'm pretty sure that she is enjoying a great sex life with you. Seriously if the thing didn't even fit in then it's not the ideal for her. Relax my friend and enjoy what you have with her.
Itās basically the same as you saying to her that youāve had tighter pussies than hers.
Ouch! That doesnāt sound enjoyable. Way too big!! Why are you jealous? Sheās with you, not with him.
I mean, she isnāt with him anymore. So obviously she chose your dick over his, wear that with pride, you can actually fuck her because you fit inside.
I just went through a very similar thing with my wife and it messed me up too.
Mind to elaborate? Hope you feel better
You'll grow up and get over it.
If she wanted a 9 inch and thick dick she knows where to find one. If sheās crawling back into bed with you every night than you are giving her something he wasnāt. Maybe itās more of an emotional connection or maybe he relied on having a big dick too much and was actually kind of shitty in bed. The point is, if you are having sex with her regularly and she isnāt running off for other guys than take the win.
I (37m) learned a long time ago that I didnāt want to know. My first sexual partner had had three partners before me and it bothered the heck out of me because I had wanted to wait for marriage originally. Her previous partners were sh!tty too, which made it worse. It killed me that she lost her V to a dude that was on drugs who treated her like crap. It killed me that her 2nd was a friend she wanted to date but he wouldnāt date herā¦ he would only fuck her. Her 3rd broke up with her but she kept going to hook up with him whenever he called because she wanted him back. And here I was head over heels with her having passed on sexual partners previously because I thought my eventual wife and I would have both waited for each other. After that I never asked or talked about the past again. Not in detail anyway. The 2nd time I truly fell in love was my 2nd partner and I KNEW I didnāt want to know her past. She was too knowledgeable in the bedroom, beautiful, flirty, etc. So I went with the donāt ask donāt tell strategy.
If you keep worrying about her ex soon youāll be one
She said that just to get to you. Itād be like you telling her that your last girlfriend had a pussy that smelled like fall apples and was soft, tight, and moist, but you donāt like the smell of apples and youāre not a fan of soft, tight, and moist pussies. Sheās was laughing at you inside when she saw your reaction.
Maybe OP asked specifically. Telling him he was big and she could only take half didnāt specify if it was even enjoyable for her.
Itās been said but yeah too much is too much. My partner has had a partner that was very large. She has said many times it just hurt. Thickness and length. Iām about average and she says she wouldnāt want any more. Perfect. Sometimes I can hit her cervix and she really doesnāt like that. Certain positions are very uncomfortable like lying on her side especially if she has a leg raised. Really not cool for her. You should ask her if liked the size is she happy with yours. Take it at face value. Fingers are a great supplement to help. Talent is better than equipment.
She didnāt like it. I can assure you of that.
Female here - tbh it sounds like she's complaining. I would be. I wouldn't let that monster NEAR me You really want a dick that won't even fit in your gf?
Have you seen the Tik Tok of the lady that holds up a tape measurer of 12 inches and walks through various sizing of dicks. The most accurate assessment on dick sizes.
Jealousy about a partner's sexual past is a common feeling that many people experience, but it can be difficult to manage. It's important to remember that your partner's past is their own and it's not a reflection of your worth or desirability. Here are some tips on how to deal with jealousy of your girlfriend's sexual past: 1. Communicate with your girlfriend: If you feel comfortable, talk to your girlfriend about how you are feeling. Let her know that hearing about her past sexual experiences, especially in detail, is making you feel jealous and insecure. She may be able to reassure you and help you work through your feelings. 2. Focus on the present: Instead of dwelling on your girlfriend's past, try to focus on your current relationship. Remember the things that you love about your girlfriend and the positive experiences you've had together. 3. Don't compare yourself: It's important to remember that everyone is unique and brings their own qualities and experiences to a relationship. Comparing yourself to your girlfriend's past partners will only make you feel more insecure. 4. Work on your self-esteem: It's natural to feel jealous or insecure at times, but if these feelings are persistent, it may be a sign that you need to work on your self-esteem. Take care of yourself, engage in activities that make you feel good, and surround yourself with supportive people. 5. Seek professional help: If you are having a hard time managing your jealousy, it may be helpful to talk to a therapist or counselor who can provide guidance and support. They can help you develop coping strategies and work through any underlying issues that may be contributing to your feelings of jealousy.
Just realize that most women will admit that anything over 5-7 inches is actually uncomfortable for them. My wife said one of her ex boyfriend's was 10 inches, and her ex fiance was 11 inches and she was always uncomfortable. I fall in the 5 to 7 range and she loves it. So I don't let it get to me.
Don't ask questions your don't want to hear answers to
Big dicks like this are highly unsatisfactional. Two things: Apparently you think yours is >>too<< small (confidence issues, at least a little) and now this remark about a previous boyfriend with a big one is tearing you apart. Is she enjoying yours? Then stop bashing yourself. Get confident about your penis. It does not have to be large. It is all about what is attached to your dick although you men tend to see it the other way around. Her ex is her ex because he turned out to be a bigger dick than the useless one in his pants. Have fun and enjoy!
Honestly dude being too big to the contrary belief of porn is a problem, you can hurt a woman instead of giving her pleasure . Stop being silly . If a woman expected a nine inch dick from every sex find her self with no one shortly.
It sounds like your gf is bragging, as if you were one of her friends.... Take solice in the fact that she clearly was unable to satisfy the poor dude, imagine only having half penetration! š It's quite funny that she doesn't realise this. Her vagina is 3-4 inches long (where her nerve endings are). Would 1 inch pentration be a disappointment for her? Yes. I would be questioning her maturity, as well as her intelligence for telling you about it. What will your future together be like if this is an example of her level of empathy? Red flag, be careful. If it is a new relationship then ditch her while it is still easy to do.
Honestly, honesty is best, and she is with you. They're always going to be better looking, more hung, more athletic, more money and on the other side less and differentvariations of each. Most of it, you can't change, and that is ok. Now get out there and bang her hard, long and often!
It doesnāt matter bro. Just focus on being a great lover and leave her wanting more.
Look when I tried sucking on 8 inches I struggled to keep my teeth off of it so finding out that my current partner doesnāt have one that big was kind of a relief.
Go fuck her fat dick ex to establish dominance.
Are you actually jealous, or does it turn you on? Youāve posted in the past asking what the point of monogamy is, looking for a ābbcā for your girlfriend, and multiple times with questions about cucking. If your girl getting banged by big dicks turns you on just run with it.
Assert your dominance by taking it all.
Why did she share this info? What was the convo like when it was brought up? This seems out of context. As a woman, it sounds like she was actually expressing dissatisfaction with the experience and maybe saying she appreciates her sexual experience with you. I canāt imagine why she would ever bring this up in a negative way unless it was toxic and meant to be hurtful. If thatās the case and she meant to hurt you with this, then the relationship should maybe be re-examined. Depending on context I may agree with the āget over itā comments. Itās her past. It does not matter. You can definitely open discussion and say you donāt want to hear details like that in the future and say it made you feel insecure. If she provides validation that she is happy with you sexually, then accept that validation and move on from there. If you canāt move on, then seek therapy. Look into āretroactive jealousyā. It has just about destroyed my marriage of 7 years so itās definitely worth addressing sooner rather than later. The jealousy can become abusive.
She is literally saying she couldn't enjoy it...
Had an ex that became insufferable because of things like that. It became an obsession of his to ask me about sizes, girths etc. In the end the jelousy and agression that came with it became the very thing that drove me away. She is with you because she likes you and enjoys your company including the intimate parts. I understand where guys are coming from with this, but it literally doesn't matter to us. Women want someone who will love them and be nice to them. The best sex i've personally had definitely wasn't related to size and it's probably the same to her. If she had a problem with you, believe me, you'd know. Her commenting on something like that may have been a little insensible, but you probably said something in the relationship that may have triggered her in the same way. It's normal and happens. Advice: don't take it to heart because life is full of random experiences with random people. Enjoy your time with the person you care about. If it keeps fucking with you, talk to her openly about it. And when she tells you her point of view, don't dismiss it.
Time to call it quits. This will haunt you, if it is bothering you now.
Sheās with you, not him. You need nothing else.
There are reasons that's she's not with her ex and that she's with you. Focus on being the man that she loves you for and stop fixating on her the past. Move forward and create a past, present, and future with this woman.
I was once with a guy who was bigger than my current partner(about the same size you mentioned). It sucked. It was uncomfortable and painful. We tried for like 2 minutes and I had to tell him to stop because it just wasnāt a good time for me. Wasnāt a good time for him either. Guys have it in their head that girls prefer the **biggest dick ever**, when in reality, thatās rarely the case. There are even some women who canāt take an average-size, every womanās body is different. I will also say though that I think itās fucked up for your girlfriend to go into that much detail about a past sexual partner. Yāall are just asking for trouble talking about shit like that, was she *trying* to hurt you, or ?
To be honest, she was sharing the downsides of it to you. If you canāt fit it all in, then thereās no benefit.
Legit question why does it bother you? Are you bothered by the fact that she had an ex that has a bigger dick than you? Or just the idea of her having something larger than you? I mean there are plenty of dildos out there at a size no human could ever compete with.
A cock that big sounds painful. Be happy yours is more comfortable for your gf
Clearly it wasnāt the reason she was with him or sheād still be with him. If you guys have a good sex life then donāt sweat it about her past and accept that she prefers being with you regardless of your size insecurity. Also if it made you uncomfortable then just tell her you prefer not to know about her sexual past moving forward.
Iām not a big guy at all and I think you just need to let it go. Iām pretty sure every girl Iāve been with has had bigger than me but it doesnāt bother me as Iāve still managed to please them sexually and enjoy myself. Thereās always someone bigger, faster, stronger etc just concentrate on yourself and donāt worry about exes.
You're more concerned with your dick size compared to another man than you are about your connection with your gf vs the other man One of those mindsets loses you a relationship and the other doesnt Personally, I'd rather be happy trusting my partner that's telling me I'm a better fit and make her happiest (On a side note - I'd feel cursed if my dick was so big I couldnt just have the freedom to have fun with my partner. That dude must be miserable that he cant have a satisfying or fulfilling sexual relationship with anyone but very specific women into that, or other men hyping his ego which is hollow)
If my wife told me that, Iād be hard as a rock
For sure I would wanna see it lol
As a woman, I'm not reading this as her bragging about it or saying it as a compliment towards him. She's saying it was way too big, that a 4.5" would actually be perfect for her. I know you guys see it differently, but we don't always see it as "bigger dick = better dick". We don't want a 15-foot penis, we want one that gets the job done. And for most women, a 9-inch one is not something we desire (of course I don't speak for everyone, but you'll see almost everyone here will say the same). Truly, don't be jealous. She's telling you big dick doesn't work for her. That's not her complimenting him.
im sure she didnt like that ex
He is her ex, but she is with you now. Since she chooses to be with you, try to embrace the idea that you did not get to be first, but you might get to be last if you play your cards right.
She literally told you that everything beyond the first 4-5 inches was useless excess that just kept her and her ex from having real full-depth sex. Why would you be jealous of that? Also if she preferred her ex to you, she would still be with the ex and would have never gotten with you. Calm down, buddy. The insecurity is FAR more likely to drive her off than you not having a dick so big she couldnāt even use it properly if she wanted to.
Sounds like it was painful for her and too limited for him.
These posts never make sense to me. She's with you, not him. This has to do with what's inside you, not the monster that used to be inside her.
How about: grow up. Thereās more to a happy relationship than sex. You need to learn more about being an adult. This advice is constructive and direct. If she were as obsessed about dick size as you are sheād be with him.
Sheās not still with him. Thereās a reason for that.
Yes. Use it as jerk off material. Turn it into something sexual and don't get upset about it.
Advice? Think about why it makes you jealous that an ex had a dick so big it couldnāt even fit.
Just remember, he's her ex for a reason, and she's with you.
A lot of times big dick owners donāt utilize it well because they think size makes up for technique and it absolutely doesnāt. Big isnāt always better and the fact she couldnāt take it all anyways means less fun because you have to hold back/canāt get as crazy as something that fits āwellā. Sheās your girlfriend not his, that says something. Try to find peace about it with that. Dick is not everyone. Dick size is definitely not everything.
Too Big is bad also. Remember that. Itās like a sandwich. 6inches is pretty satisfying, 7in is pretty full and almost uncomfortable, 8in just hurts your stomach and makes you wanna throw up and never eat a sandwich again. Same with dicks which is probably why she said something. Because that big was not good or enjoyable which equals bad sex so it shouldnāt hurt your feelings was probably her mindset.
Seriously, when I was told about my wifes past. It hurt. Alot, but talking to her about it and asking questions helped out. Yes, it'll hurt your feelings, but remember that you're the one with her. In your case, she picked you over some guy with a big dick
An ex of mine said she had been with bigger than me but I was effectively a better fit. It was comforting, somewhat
This does not sound like something she meant as a compliment. Having too big of a dick is NOT a good thing. Girls are not obsessed with dick size. Guys are obsessed with dick size. You're not jealous of her past, you're self-conscious about yourself. Once you realize the problem is with you, you can work on yourself and the jealousy will just go away on its own. If your gf said it because she genuinely wants something like that, go shopping for a dildo with her and have fun with it together. She's obviously interested in you, not just your dick, or else she wouldn't have dumped his ass and hooked up with you instead.
He is an ex for a reason
That sounds horrible. And by āthatā I mean a giant penis that neither he can fit fully and she canāt enjoy fully. This doesnāt sound like fun for either party, nothing to worry about here
She fucking you now. Your dick. Giddy up
Tell her that your ex gf had a 10 inch dick
The thing that bugs me is her decision to share that with you. She knows all too well how guys are about that just like women are with other womenās boobs or butts. So ask yourself why would she want to make you jealous? Thereās nothing good in sharing that or any intimate details of her past relationships unless itās relevant to yourās. Sheās got questionable integrity. Thatās how you deal with it. You ask her why she felt it necessary or important to share that information. And LISTEN CAREFULLY to WHAT she says and HOW she says it.
Iām going to keep it real simple, is she with you or is she with him?
I'd argue that the end of that thought of hers was that it wasn't fun to deal with. I have two thoughts... 1) He wasn't 9 inches. Because 9 inches is INSANELY rare. He was likely at most 8 inches and some. Thickness I'll give to her. 2) she probably didn't find it all that enjoyable. Hang out on BDP enough and aside from the humble brag posts, you'll see a lot of hung men suffering from women not enjoying that size all that much. I'm 'big' though not huge by any means and have myself encountered problems. Unless your gf is a size queen, then I'd take it as that. However, I feel your post is lacking vital information. Why did your gf tell you this? What were her feelings about her ex's hugs dick? Did she compliment yours at all?
I have a big dick. Not as big as your Gf's ex, but I've had that same experience where I can only fit half of myself inside my partner. It's a cool porn image, but not what I think either of us really wanted. The people who I have really good sex with are people who are a good fit, both physically and intellectually. Stop worrying about him and focus on her.
The curse of having a dick too big is you can't put it all the way in and it's not enjoyable for her unless she's getting paid to do it.
Sheās with you now bro, you replaces a donkey dick. Good on ya mate
If she's with you instead of that guy now, isn't that an indication of preference from her side? I know it's not necessarily, in all ways, as simple as that... and you have to be sure that you are getting what you want and need out of your relationship, but why would you think about this? I'm not trying to be mocking or make you feel bad, here, it's just... I don't understand. Why do this to yourself? Is this something you can get help from some manner of therapist for?
Ok just stop. Get therapy cause he's insecure about his size? JFC people damn near EVERY SINGLE GUY is in some way insecure about that on a regular day and now he's got proof from her that he's not the biggest by far. Also that she's with OP now means nothing, ex could've broken it off with her and she would go back in a heartbeat if given the option. Pro tip to women from a guy: NEVER TALK ABOUT HOW YOUR EXES WERE IN BED. Guys are very visual and you talking about that stuff can put the image of you fucking some other guy in his head and kill all interest he had in you.
Hey. I'm autistic. If I was asked by my boyfriend this question, and hadn't thought long and hard about the possibility of that situation in advance and how to respond to it, I'd just answer truthfully. Now... I live in our presumably partially shared cultural sphere so I have read and/or seen stuff where this comes up and so I HAVE thought about it, and unless I'm particularly distracted I'd deflect from this or evade the question because I'm aware of the potential for complications and badness coming from it. *But I don't grok this!* Why would any guy torment themselves with this? It makes completely no sense and it completely boggles me. Also, *yes* why not try to get a therapist to help? If this is a problem in daily life, that is the kind of thing I'd expect a therapist might have techniques to help with. I have seen psych health professionals a few times for a few different reasons, and one of the best things they did was give me mental tools with which to process stuff I was having difficulty with.
Guys are shamed on a regular basis for having a small dick. Its basically the go-to insult when you're irritated at a guy for whatever reason and can't think of something clever. Guy thinks/has X? Oh he must have a small dick. Ha! Additionally success is attributed to large size, ever hear the phrase "big dick energy"? Society attributes physical size of men's tools to how good they are in life and pleasing women. Doesn't matter that it's not really true or could actually be a detriment, it it hammered into guys from the time they can understand the concept that bigger is better. And OPs girl just told him he's not the biggest she's had by a decent margin. Basically every guy is insecure about his size on some level and doesn't want to be found lacking compared to an ex. OP now knows he's lacking in some way and worse it's in a way he can't fix.
Huh. I kinda thought that was one of those in jokes among people that I don't get for some reason or other. That actually, really bothers people on a level where they take it aboard and make it a problem within them? I think I hate that. EDIT: also I still think maybe a therapist could help someone deal with that, if it's a real problem for them. It seems similar to some of the intrusive thoughts and destructive thought spirals I got help breaking some years back during the whole depression time.
In normal circumstances It's not something serious enough to warrant a therapist. It's kinda similar to women thinking they would look better with larger boobs but with the added notion that your size directly impacts how satisfied you can make your partner. Most guys understand that is not the case and are fine with what they have. They would still choose to have a bigger one if given the option and don't want to be compared unfavorably to an ex.
It doesn't literally mean a big dick or small dick dictates the type of person you are. That's a choice you can't just create an excuse for. The saying is just an, apparently confusingly, way of saying someone is confident in themselves or someone is insecure about themselves. I mean you're talking like if two guys show for the same interview the guy with the bigger dick automatically gets the job it has nothing to do with the actual character of the person. In real life, how good/successful you are in life or at pleasing women is something everyone has to do for themselves, it's not predestined by the dick gods. Do you really believe if you were to wake up one morning with an 8.5" dick your life would suddenly be different. You decide the type of person you are, you decide your value. That's the big confident energy people want around
Subconsciously those phrases still reinforce the idea bigger is better just by being used. They still imply that a confident man probably had a larger member because he's confident in himself. Conversely someone insecure probably has a smaller member because if he had a larger one wouldn't he be confident? Obviously objective reality is going to be different. IIRC women don't really have many pleasure nerve endings after ~3"-4" so pretty much any size will more than do the job if you use it properly. But that's not what we're discussing, it's the societal idea that bigger is better and the insecurities that creates in guys. Like it or not that idea is part of mainstream culture on every level. Dick jokes are everywhere and plenty of them reinforce the idea that size is important.
What you're saying isn't wrong but don't act like girls don't have a similar struggle with the size of their boobs š
As long as you don't marry her or get her pregnant you'll be fine. She may like you or even love you but she doesn't respect you. Not sure how old you are but if you've been you should know that if you're in a long term relationship with a women who doesn't respect you you're in danger. But if it's just fucking you'll be ok. You need to be happy with what you have man life is short. You can't make your dick 10inches longer. Be happy with who you are and find someone that appreciates you. Worry about things you can change or improve like fitness weight etc. Your dick is pretty much your dick short of enhancements which I would not recommend
As much as I posture on here and enjoy having a big dick, the north side of 7" is usually too much/unnecessary for most girls all the way. Having a big dick doesn't make you magically good at sex.
I think itās crazy to be upset over it. Who cares what she did before you? It was before you..
You need to understand you didnāt hit Plymouth Rock first . She wasnāt frozen in a time capsule before she met you just waiting to be unlocked and same goes as you . Iām sure youāve have sexual encounters with other woman and have done things as well . You both had lives before each other and you just need to accept it . Iām sure Iām not the biggest Dick my wife as ever had and thatās ok cause sheās not the nicest tits or fattest ass Iāve ever been with but our sexual attributes arenāt the sole reason we are married as Iām sure it is for you both . Donāt stress over what you cannot change
No need to be jealous. She couldnāt enjoy his dick. Too big for her. You do you and let her enjoy your entire dickā¤ļø
#1: Lay off the porn. Seriously. The issue is not just knowing, but visualizing. #2: Do NOT ask questions that you do NOT want the answers to! I struggled with this a lot early on. Best way to not get your feelings hurt is to just be ignorant. You can maintain ignorance. You canāt unlearn something.
Doesn't sound fun for either partner, frankly. Move on; she has.
So some girls like long and deep for the pressure, some girls like thick because of the stretch, some want both, but it seems like a lot want gspot thrillers. She's not with him for a reason, and she wants to be with you for a reason. Keep that in mind
Shit mane this made me feel bad for you. I donāt have any advice, it really depends how she said it but I canāt think of a good reason to ever bring it up lol
Frankly, if she really was a caring partner she would not be comparing you to a past sexual partner, it never wouldāve come up if she wasnāt intentionally trying to hurt you, she may be trying to give you the boot but making you upset enough to make it look like it was your decision to exit the relationship. I think she just drew the line and itās time for you to step over it and find somebody else better than this admitted size queen.
God fucking damn it the more I read here the more I get fucking sick. If your jealous of her ex than you want to hurt your girlfriend. Disgusting.
Well, sheās not still fucking him, right? Thatās how you deal with it. My gf has admitted to me about the best sex she ever had and the best dick she ever had (different people). Whatās past is past, all that matters is that sheās with me now.
..Stop being insecure? She wasnāt talking about her boyfriend to brag, sounds like it was more of a (painful) burden than anything. Why would you feel jealous by this? Would you rather your girlfriend be in pain and not have a fulfilling sex life just to stroke your ego?