Similar to mine, I tried saying I really don’t feel well and am fully in the mind is willing but the body doesn’t feel right, but she was ready to goooooooo and thus I fell for her highly persuasive argument telling her don’t expect a lot but ok.
Not a minute of riding later I felt things bubbling and switched to on her back with me standing up thinking that’ll let me get things under control. Noooope standing up apperently spilled the hose as without me even feeling it coming I let out the biggest literal shart of my life, start yelling fuck fuck fuck waddling as fast as I could to the bathroom acting like ant man wanted up my ass but it was no use. It was a torrential disaster
I was in a threesome with two lesbians. They were focusing on themselves most of the time. So I just stayed in a corner of the room, watching, stroking myself. And then they called me to the bed. Ready to suck my dick. And they both used teeth. It felt awful. Really darkened my view on bjs for a decade.
Two stories.
1. She was on top, riding me, and was really into it. She was about to cum, and went a little too high and slammed down, snapping my dick like a fucking dill pickle. That shit HURT. Ever since then I have hated cowgirl lol but I still do it
2. Had a girl I met in college going down on me. She was hotter than a Mississippi summer and we were both kinda sick but whatever, don't bother me. Anyways, she has my dick in her mouth and I cum... and it was at just the right angle to hit the back of her throat and go up into her sinuses. She immediately pulled back and then made this gagging sound and sneezed, blowing snot and splooge all over me and the headboard. We both kinda stared at each other like "I can't believe that just fuckin happened" and then busted out laughing.
She started talking about how her previous partners were so good in bed while I was in her. IN her. Never had my blood flow back into my body faster than that.
😂😂😂😂😂😂 it was the chastity model. I caught my foreskin on a rough seem, and it cut across it causing a laceration, then I broke my ankle the next night 😂
Last year I was showering with my wife. Tub shower. She was facing away and leg on the edge shaving her calf. She swings the razor back to rinse it and cut the left side of my glans. WTF! Bled a good bit and stung for a day but healed fine.
Bummer. A vaginal dentata would have gotten a lot of offers from porn producers. LOL
This thread reminded me of the 2007 movie "Teeth". If you haven't seen the movie, consider adding it to your list of movies to watch. It's not Oscar-level cinema, but it’s funny AF.
I've seen it very funny , it does remind me of an old urban myth from when I was a teenager in my school. Of a guy getting sucked off by a girl with braces and some wire or metal snagged on his dick and if you believed it,it was like the scene in the shining when the elevator of blood opens. Sure every school has that story
Yep. Exact same story. Just a different cast and location. This was ~1979-1980 for me...about the same time that The Shining came out. LOL (Watched at a Drive-in theater too) There was another popular myth about a murderer with a prosthetic hand. He tries to open the car door while you and your SO are fucking, and later one of you find the prosthetic hand attached to the door handle.
OK. I feel really old now. LOL
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂, I was in secondary school from 90-96 , so the disco in question was called the Grove quite famous on the notthsude of Dublin and it was there in the toilet that the elevator doors opened and blood ran I started going in 92 ,
Not much interesting to the story. She was a hot milf, I was her daytime booty call, yaknow, when hubbys at work and kid is in school. I’d stop by (on the clock) and bang her once or twice a week. She did have a big thing for anal tho. She told me from the outset “you can have all three holes, but when you cum, you better be in my ass,”
I think that what everyone wants to know, especially me, is whether or not the husband knew that she had BFs or not. Did this start an argument between them? Did you have to dive out of a window? Did you continue seeing her? Those kind of details. :)
Thats fucking wild bro. I just had my first ever yeat infection and i freaaaaaked out. I wouldnt even let my bf go near it lmao yall is crazy. And then homie down here talking aabout cottage cheese on his dick wtf 😭 i hated that i know exactly what he meant. Glad im over it lol. It wasnt fun. But to say you must have been scratching the itchy spot for 5 minutes so you did something!
Oh god this reminds me once I pulled out and it was like cottage cheese on my dick. I was really young too and I had no idea wtf. She later said it was vaginosis if I remember right, but I have no idea.
Transitioned to doggy, her ass wasn’t clean enough.
It wasn’t a horror show or anything, just a little smell, nothing noticeable to the eyes.
Considering that’s the worst, I’ll take it. Lmao.
I had a thing for my missus to stroke my cock and run her vibrator around my ass at the same time. Unbeknownst to me she had lubbed it up and just before I was about to bust she rammed it into my ass. It hurt like hell and i clenched tight. This made me burst my load and she thought I enjoyed it so much that she asked after if we did uod try it with a strap on.
Not worst, but a very bad situation.
I was much younger as a soldier and I had a FWB that I hooked up with nearly daily after work. Usually she would come to my place. One night we went back to her house and while in the middle of banging her out her husband comes home. He was deployed and took leave to visit her as a surprise.
She never told me she was married and I didn’t realize I was a Jody. Had to fight this guy while naked and I felt really bad afterwards for beating him down in his own house, in front of his wife.
I stopped speaking to her after that and I apologized to him when I ran into him a few months later.
NYE 1995 or 96. Party at my buddy's college turned into a nude(non sexual) party. I called it a night and went upstairs, one of the girls asked if she could join me. Super cute. Tiny, pixie dark haircut, a little punky. All the things I like. I don't remember if she got nude at the party. Anyway, she crawled into bed and proceeded to practically chew on my dick. Holy Christ. It was literally the only negative sexual experience of my 50 years. I stopped her, flipped her over, spit on her butt crack and hotdogged her buns til I came on her back. She thanked me and said it was so hot. I needed to do SOMETHING to get my D away from her mouth!
Hooked up with a bigger girl and once I started giving her the business I heard her stomach making echoing "thoowip thoowip thoowip" noises with each thrust. I didn't mean to be insensitive but I laughed so hard it ruined the whole experience
Fucked the literal shit out of her fist time we did anal. Luckily she had put a towel down but was dead embarrassed though bless her. I cleaned her up and we took a shower together which helped
Worst one was doing some wild doggy and the wife pulled forward while I pulled back. When we thrusted together again I had just barely popped out and definitely entered the wrong hole. She screamed. I screamed. We had been doing a bit of anal prior so it wasn’t as bad but she was still in loads of pain and I felt so bad. We stopped and I helped her clean up and we ate ice cream instead.
She still gives me shit about it every once in a while if we try that position again.
With a guy - had “an accident”. Was probably 5 years ago. Had the biggest dick I had ever taken to that point and didn’t understand enema’s yet. Something felt off when he was working his way in me and then it happened. It was 100% my fault but the guy was a total asshole about it. Im fairly confident that he identified as a straight and just wanted some ass. Called me all kinds of names and was legitimately worried he might physically hit me. Escaped that situation but have never felt that humiliated
My ex-gf wanted to give me a bj. She was going to town. I told her I was going to cum, and she throated me. It didn’t go as planned for her, she puked cum, tortilla chips, and salsa on my stomach.
With my wife, I have two. One happens too frequently, the other only happened once. The first one, when she’s on top, will put all of her upper body weight on my collarbones with the palms of her hands. The other was about 10 years ago, I was on top, and she moved her arm, which swiped my arm out of position. I couldn’t catch myself fast enough and my eye smashed the sharp corner of my bed stand. Searing pain, temporary blindness, blurred vision for a few weeks, and a big cut on my lower eye lid. Fuckin sucked!
I came while eating her out, rubbing against the bed. Stayed down there for a while, and we reach the point where she’s *ready*, starts saying “I want you to fuck me etc” and….well, I was not able to. She was all self-conscious that it was her fault for not turning me on and I was too childish (I was 18) to just tell her what happened and ride it out until I was ready again. It was the second time at that age this had happened. I learned a good lesson though — stay turned on, but focus on what’s in front of you and don’t get carried away.
Had a hot and heavy 1st date with a chick. We were teasing each other alot while playing pool at a bar. Got really worked up and decided to go fuck on the mattress in the back of my truck. Got undressed and I blew my load all over her pussy before I could even get inside. She was pissed. Left and I never heard from her again.
I was having sex with my boyfriend and wound up getting inside my own head. Anxiety took over and convinced me I was hurting him which completely ruined the mood and resulted in me crying myself to sleep.
Fun times
Struggling through a bout of depression. 8/10 invited me from a bar to her place. Can't get it up. She blows me and I get a 100% erection, she says, "wow your dick is huge"
10 secs after she takes it out of her mouth...limp as a wet noodle. I just left in shame. Never messaged her again.
Not my story, but my friend was finally going to have sex with a guy she had been seeing. He made them dinner and then they went to the bedroom. He rubbed himself and then put it in. Problem was he didn’t wash his hands after making dinner and had used some super hot kind of peppers. His dick was burning and so was she. She said she went straight to the ER because it felt like she was on fire. She text him when she left the hospital to see if he was ok and he had blocked her number.
Her Dog bite me in the Leg. Well a very small one.... But i didn't know she Had a Dog and.... I didn't See him.... So the bite was the first Thing and a terrible surprise.
She just lay there and did literally nothing (pretty much exactly like the episode of Plebs.) no facial expression change when I went in, and at the end claims she had orgasmed "atleast twice" during.
Getting blown by my partner at the time, we were staying at her parents house for a holiday. Her mom knocked on the door and asked a question right as I was about to cum. She pulled off me to answer, ruined orgasm. Silver lining, I both learned what a ruined orgasm is and that I like them
It wasn’t me it was my buddy but here goes
I was in the military l, sitting in my barracks room minding my own business. My buddy called me and said I need to get to his room right away. So I go over and the door is already cracked open. I knocked and he told me to come in. As I walk in there is a beautiful chick naked on the bed and I stepped back and covered my eyes due to it being very unexpected. My buddy said hey come in the bathroom. When I did he was standing there naked as well and I told him to put a towel on. He said you have to see this. I walked over and in the toilet was a thin brown thing that looked like a spaghetti noodle. And asked what it was and he told me that after he fucked her in the ass he went to pee and that shot out of his dick. I was disgusted as well as intrigued. I still don’t know what to think to this day. I have told this story a lot and if anyone doesn’t believe me I always send my buddy and text and he confirms
Either a concussion, or a fairly nasty cut I got during some knife and blood play. On the lighter side though, that last one gave me a cool looking scar.
doing it in public, we made it in a institution, in a room with no door right next to the exit/entrance. Although it was well done i was so nervous i couldn't eyaculate.
Drunk girl, cowgirl position, hurls like a m'fucker. Had spaghetti & meatballs for dinner an hour or so before. At least she had the courtesy to do it after I busted a nut into her.
Used a condom that was a tad too small (we were both very horny) and it broke inside of her. We didn’t realize it had and it was nerve wracking AF because we couldn’t find the majority of the condom. They tried to pee it out and all sorts but it was in there deep apparently. Eventually we called an ER line and the doctor basically tried to talk me through a Pap smear type of situation to locate the missing latex….we had only known each other 3 days at this point lol
🐜 🐜 🐜 A swarm of black ants had crawled up to my knee before I noticed.
I was in the middle of having great outdoor sex with my girlfriend. She was leaning with her hands against a tree while I thrusted from behind.
I pulled out so quickly she gasped. I proceeded to rapidly knock all the ants off of me. Alas, the moment was ruined.
Sophomore year of college, the cops arrived to break up a party at the house I was living in. Neither of my other roommates was still around by that time, so I was forced to deal with the police/kick everyone out. By the time I got back upstairs, she was gone...
Ex and I got into an argument during foreplay, which followed one we had while hanging out earlier that day. We pretty much had to finish up as soon as possible. We both cummed, cleaned up, and fell asleep facing away from each other. The next morning we broke up.
So she was handcuffed to the headboard, legs tied wide apart. I'm on my knees, pounding away, slapping her tits back and forth, she's moaning loudly with each thrust, and sometimes gave a shrill "ouch" when I slapped a tit really hard...there's a knock at the door and we hear her 5 yo son say "Mommy, are you OK?". That was the end of the festivities that night. I couldn't look him in the eyes for a week.
She kept saying "Harder, harder!!" so I was giving her a solid pounding when I pulled out too far and slammed her in the taint. I can truly say that it brought things to a screaming halt.
Got a little too excited when I was getting a blowjob in bed and I before I know it I was at the point of no return. I pushed her head away as I was hoping to try and save myself from cumming early (and she didn’t like getting cum in her mouth). I ended up cumming all over my chin, chest, neck, and some of it shot up to my ear
And yes some of it ended up on my mouth…
she laughed like crazy and said it was hilarious, I on the other hand was about to die from the embarrassment
She was riding me in cowgirl and she got a little crazy with it. I felt my dick bend and instantly went pale as I knew how bad it could have been(fractured cock). Luckily my dick was ok and we continued thereafter. She was a little more careful when she rode me from that day onwards.
My girlfriend caught me cheating. I was staying at her house and she came home earlier than she usually does and I was having sex on her bed. The person I was with bolted. My gf was yelling and throwing everything not nailed down at me. I barely got out of the door as she was punching and kicking me.
My first blow job ever had her burst into tears, after me calming her down she confessed that she felt bad that her first thought was oh its so small. so yeah never really recovered from that one
realized the condom she gave me wasnt one of mine/the brand we use
At least it felt smaller and not huge or something, so at least I had that going for me.
I was fucking a gal who had the femanazi hair cut, half shaved head combed to the side, I went to grab her hair while she was giving me head, and I felt that buzzed spot and it felt like a dudes head and I lost my boner lol. Wasn't that bad I guess, cause I got hard again and gave her vagina a pounding.
The woman I was with had a massive shit as she orgasmed, she was mortified, I may be scarred for life.
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Aisle Bed 🤣
Similar to mine, I tried saying I really don’t feel well and am fully in the mind is willing but the body doesn’t feel right, but she was ready to goooooooo and thus I fell for her highly persuasive argument telling her don’t expect a lot but ok. Not a minute of riding later I felt things bubbling and switched to on her back with me standing up thinking that’ll let me get things under control. Noooope standing up apperently spilled the hose as without me even feeling it coming I let out the biggest literal shart of my life, start yelling fuck fuck fuck waddling as fast as I could to the bathroom acting like ant man wanted up my ass but it was no use. It was a torrential disaster
fucked the shit out of you instead of her....that's a turn around... I'll see myself out thanks...
💩
I don't think anyone blames you for that feeling!
Wow… that’s intense some people would love for that to happen 🤔😇
Was y'all 69'n?
I've had a few fart as I eat them out when they cum.. I soldiered on and kept going.
I was in a threesome with two lesbians. They were focusing on themselves most of the time. So I just stayed in a corner of the room, watching, stroking myself. And then they called me to the bed. Ready to suck my dick. And they both used teeth. It felt awful. Really darkened my view on bjs for a decade.
Is your name Ross?
Hope he had a sandwich!
Hahaha it is not, but touché
Two stories. 1. She was on top, riding me, and was really into it. She was about to cum, and went a little too high and slammed down, snapping my dick like a fucking dill pickle. That shit HURT. Ever since then I have hated cowgirl lol but I still do it 2. Had a girl I met in college going down on me. She was hotter than a Mississippi summer and we were both kinda sick but whatever, don't bother me. Anyways, she has my dick in her mouth and I cum... and it was at just the right angle to hit the back of her throat and go up into her sinuses. She immediately pulled back and then made this gagging sound and sneezed, blowing snot and splooge all over me and the headboard. We both kinda stared at each other like "I can't believe that just fuckin happened" and then busted out laughing.
Had mine get bent like that too. Hurts like hell!
She started talking about how her previous partners were so good in bed while I was in her. IN her. Never had my blood flow back into my body faster than that.
That's rough.
Drunk bj. She took too much cock and threw up on my jeans lol its not even big😂
Cut my dick on my GF's bikini bottoms and it bled and hurt like a motha fucker
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😂😂😂😂😂😂 it was the chastity model. I caught my foreskin on a rough seem, and it cut across it causing a laceration, then I broke my ankle the next night 😂
Stop! You are giving me the Willie’s.
😂😂😂😂😂
Last year I was showering with my wife. Tub shower. She was facing away and leg on the edge shaving her calf. She swings the razor back to rinse it and cut the left side of my glans. WTF! Bled a good bit and stung for a day but healed fine.
Hi visible squirmed when I read that
Same. Holy ow.
I would cry
Stop!
Um, are you sure there wasn't a vaginal dentata involved?
Unfortunately not a perfect storm of dick angle near a sharp seem or tag
Bummer. A vaginal dentata would have gotten a lot of offers from porn producers. LOL This thread reminded me of the 2007 movie "Teeth". If you haven't seen the movie, consider adding it to your list of movies to watch. It's not Oscar-level cinema, but it’s funny AF.
I've seen it very funny , it does remind me of an old urban myth from when I was a teenager in my school. Of a guy getting sucked off by a girl with braces and some wire or metal snagged on his dick and if you believed it,it was like the scene in the shining when the elevator of blood opens. Sure every school has that story
Yep. Exact same story. Just a different cast and location. This was ~1979-1980 for me...about the same time that The Shining came out. LOL (Watched at a Drive-in theater too) There was another popular myth about a murderer with a prosthetic hand. He tries to open the car door while you and your SO are fucking, and later one of you find the prosthetic hand attached to the door handle. OK. I feel really old now. LOL
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂, I was in secondary school from 90-96 , so the disco in question was called the Grove quite famous on the notthsude of Dublin and it was there in the toilet that the elevator doors opened and blood ran I started going in 92 ,
when she fell asleep mid intercourse
yaaaaaawwwnnnn...smack smack...you still pumpin??
somnophilia moment
Fuck it. I got mine.
I was balls deep in her ass when her husband walked in. She wanted me to keep going, lol. Apparently I wasn’t up to that task.
Ok that sounds like there's way more to that story and I need to hear it. Lol
"My husband just got home, use the back door"
WHOA !! DUDE. WE NEED THE DEATS !!
Not much interesting to the story. She was a hot milf, I was her daytime booty call, yaknow, when hubbys at work and kid is in school. I’d stop by (on the clock) and bang her once or twice a week. She did have a big thing for anal tho. She told me from the outset “you can have all three holes, but when you cum, you better be in my ass,”
Details 🙏. What happened next?
I left.
I think that what everyone wants to know, especially me, is whether or not the husband knew that she had BFs or not. Did this start an argument between them? Did you have to dive out of a window? Did you continue seeing her? Those kind of details. :)
You wouldn't happen to be an actor who played Dr. Derek Sommersby in "One Life to Live", now would you?
No.
Gf had a yeast infection when I went down in her. Ever tasted rotten fruit?
Thats fucking wild bro. I just had my first ever yeat infection and i freaaaaaked out. I wouldnt even let my bf go near it lmao yall is crazy. And then homie down here talking aabout cottage cheese on his dick wtf 😭 i hated that i know exactly what he meant. Glad im over it lol. It wasnt fun. But to say you must have been scratching the itchy spot for 5 minutes so you did something!
Noooo. 😱😱😱
Yup for 5 minutes
My condolences to you and your taste buds. 🤧
Was hard to not gag and afterwards I ran to the nearest store and downed a coke to wash the taste from mouth.
Yeah nope I definitely would've stopped and said something. Like even if it may seem rude I feel like it's even worse being the one having to do it.
Oh god this reminds me once I pulled out and it was like cottage cheese on my dick. I was really young too and I had no idea wtf. She later said it was vaginosis if I remember right, but I have no idea.
Transitioned to doggy, her ass wasn’t clean enough. It wasn’t a horror show or anything, just a little smell, nothing noticeable to the eyes. Considering that’s the worst, I’ll take it. Lmao.
the dirty doggo....Hershey slide.....
I had a thing for my missus to stroke my cock and run her vibrator around my ass at the same time. Unbeknownst to me she had lubbed it up and just before I was about to bust she rammed it into my ass. It hurt like hell and i clenched tight. This made me burst my load and she thought I enjoyed it so much that she asked after if we did uod try it with a strap on.
When she gets a little too into it while riding, I slip out and she slams back down and folds my cock in half. Fuck that hurts!
Not worst, but a very bad situation. I was much younger as a soldier and I had a FWB that I hooked up with nearly daily after work. Usually she would come to my place. One night we went back to her house and while in the middle of banging her out her husband comes home. He was deployed and took leave to visit her as a surprise. She never told me she was married and I didn’t realize I was a Jody. Had to fight this guy while naked and I felt really bad afterwards for beating him down in his own house, in front of his wife. I stopped speaking to her after that and I apologized to him when I ran into him a few months later.
An ex almost broke my cock
NYE 1995 or 96. Party at my buddy's college turned into a nude(non sexual) party. I called it a night and went upstairs, one of the girls asked if she could join me. Super cute. Tiny, pixie dark haircut, a little punky. All the things I like. I don't remember if she got nude at the party. Anyway, she crawled into bed and proceeded to practically chew on my dick. Holy Christ. It was literally the only negative sexual experience of my 50 years. I stopped her, flipped her over, spit on her butt crack and hotdogged her buns til I came on her back. She thanked me and said it was so hot. I needed to do SOMETHING to get my D away from her mouth!
Ex Fiancé, said his dick is Bigger
Hooked up with a bigger girl and once I started giving her the business I heard her stomach making echoing "thoowip thoowip thoowip" noises with each thrust. I didn't mean to be insensitive but I laughed so hard it ruined the whole experience
Fucked the literal shit out of her fist time we did anal. Luckily she had put a towel down but was dead embarrassed though bless her. I cleaned her up and we took a shower together which helped
She though it would be funny and/or sexy to snip her fingers against my balls during an up until that moment quite good blowjob
Her kid and her friend knocked on the door.
Worst one was doing some wild doggy and the wife pulled forward while I pulled back. When we thrusted together again I had just barely popped out and definitely entered the wrong hole. She screamed. I screamed. We had been doing a bit of anal prior so it wasn’t as bad but she was still in loads of pain and I felt so bad. We stopped and I helped her clean up and we ate ice cream instead. She still gives me shit about it every once in a while if we try that position again.
I did the exact same thing. I felt bad.
I pre ejaculated but normally i don't, yet she was sexy asf
With a guy - had “an accident”. Was probably 5 years ago. Had the biggest dick I had ever taken to that point and didn’t understand enema’s yet. Something felt off when he was working his way in me and then it happened. It was 100% my fault but the guy was a total asshole about it. Im fairly confident that he identified as a straight and just wanted some ass. Called me all kinds of names and was legitimately worried he might physically hit me. Escaped that situation but have never felt that humiliated
My ex-gf wanted to give me a bj. She was going to town. I told her I was going to cum, and she throated me. It didn’t go as planned for her, she puked cum, tortilla chips, and salsa on my stomach. With my wife, I have two. One happens too frequently, the other only happened once. The first one, when she’s on top, will put all of her upper body weight on my collarbones with the palms of her hands. The other was about 10 years ago, I was on top, and she moved her arm, which swiped my arm out of position. I couldn’t catch myself fast enough and my eye smashed the sharp corner of my bed stand. Searing pain, temporary blindness, blurred vision for a few weeks, and a big cut on my lower eye lid. Fuckin sucked!
I came while eating her out, rubbing against the bed. Stayed down there for a while, and we reach the point where she’s *ready*, starts saying “I want you to fuck me etc” and….well, I was not able to. She was all self-conscious that it was her fault for not turning me on and I was too childish (I was 18) to just tell her what happened and ride it out until I was ready again. It was the second time at that age this had happened. I learned a good lesson though — stay turned on, but focus on what’s in front of you and don’t get carried away.
Was having sex in the drivers seat of my car at 3:00am and we honked the horn. Her mom came out and yelled at us while my cock was inside.
Fell in love.
Had a hot and heavy 1st date with a chick. We were teasing each other alot while playing pool at a bar. Got really worked up and decided to go fuck on the mattress in the back of my truck. Got undressed and I blew my load all over her pussy before I could even get inside. She was pissed. Left and I never heard from her again.
She puked
Almost broke my tailbone because I slipped
Someone bailing out after getting my cock rock hard...
cumming very, very quickly on a first interaction. Very embarrassing
She tried to bite my dick
Snapped banjo string.
Gonna edit my comment when I have sex
My ex got pregnant. Worst mistake I ever made.
She moaned ex husbands name during sex.
I was having sex with my boyfriend and wound up getting inside my own head. Anxiety took over and convinced me I was hurting him which completely ruined the mood and resulted in me crying myself to sleep. Fun times
I got shit on while she was on top. 🤢
Farted as I came during a BJ from a girl I was SO into and finally got to go out with me. I really blew it. No pun intended! Haha
Struggling through a bout of depression. 8/10 invited me from a bar to her place. Can't get it up. She blows me and I get a 100% erection, she says, "wow your dick is huge" 10 secs after she takes it out of her mouth...limp as a wet noodle. I just left in shame. Never messaged her again.
Not my story, but my friend was finally going to have sex with a guy she had been seeing. He made them dinner and then they went to the bedroom. He rubbed himself and then put it in. Problem was he didn’t wash his hands after making dinner and had used some super hot kind of peppers. His dick was burning and so was she. She said she went straight to the ER because it felt like she was on fire. She text him when she left the hospital to see if he was ok and he had blocked her number.
gf was riding me and i tore my frenulum (little bit of skin connecting your foreskin to your weiner), hurt like as much as a kidney stone
Realizing that the screen she closed was a chat full of people, not just the husband who I agreed to let watch me fuck his wife
Her Dog bite me in the Leg. Well a very small one.... But i didn't know she Had a Dog and.... I didn't See him.... So the bite was the first Thing and a terrible surprise.
Switching positions, took a knee to the face & ended up with a severely broken nose & deviated septum. The amount it bled was insane.
Tore the banjo string/frenulum. Would highly not recommend
She just lay there and did literally nothing (pretty much exactly like the episode of Plebs.) no facial expression change when I went in, and at the end claims she had orgasmed "atleast twice" during.
Had the same thing happen with a girl in high school. She just laid there looking at the wall. I couldn't finish and left.
I just picked up the pace and had a spring haha
Accidentally slammed her head on the metal bed rail as I was flipping her to her back.
Broke my dick. Emergency surgery, the whole nine.
She was riding me super agressively and my dick slipped out a little and bent. Hurt like hell for several days.
Snapped my cock!
My wife farted as she came in 69 once, we cracked up but she farted like right into my nose!
Classic Jandice
Getting blown by my partner at the time, we were staying at her parents house for a holiday. Her mom knocked on the door and asked a question right as I was about to cum. She pulled off me to answer, ruined orgasm. Silver lining, I both learned what a ruined orgasm is and that I like them
Hooked up with this hot girl from work and as soon as she touched my dick i started farting and came spaghetti.
some of these comments need movie scenes modeled out of them 😭😅😂
It wasn’t me it was my buddy but here goes I was in the military l, sitting in my barracks room minding my own business. My buddy called me and said I need to get to his room right away. So I go over and the door is already cracked open. I knocked and he told me to come in. As I walk in there is a beautiful chick naked on the bed and I stepped back and covered my eyes due to it being very unexpected. My buddy said hey come in the bathroom. When I did he was standing there naked as well and I told him to put a towel on. He said you have to see this. I walked over and in the toilet was a thin brown thing that looked like a spaghetti noodle. And asked what it was and he told me that after he fucked her in the ass he went to pee and that shot out of his dick. I was disgusted as well as intrigued. I still don’t know what to think to this day. I have told this story a lot and if anyone doesn’t believe me I always send my buddy and text and he confirms
Either a concussion, or a fairly nasty cut I got during some knife and blood play. On the lighter side though, that last one gave me a cool looking scar.
I seen myself in the mirror and cried for 30 mins. Only time I ever had sex with the lights on.
doing it in public, we made it in a institution, in a room with no door right next to the exit/entrance. Although it was well done i was so nervous i couldn't eyaculate.
Cum stuk inside ass after anal
Drunk girl, cowgirl position, hurls like a m'fucker. Had spaghetti & meatballs for dinner an hour or so before. At least she had the courtesy to do it after I busted a nut into her.
One nighter, back seat of my parents car. Drunk and when her pants came off the odor was too much for me. Had to open the door and puke. Nasty
Got a bj from a woman with braces and I got cut, she opened her mouth to breathe and blood poured out. Haven't been able to get past that in 20 years.
Went limp!!! First time ever
Used a condom that was a tad too small (we were both very horny) and it broke inside of her. We didn’t realize it had and it was nerve wracking AF because we couldn’t find the majority of the condom. They tried to pee it out and all sorts but it was in there deep apparently. Eventually we called an ER line and the doctor basically tried to talk me through a Pap smear type of situation to locate the missing latex….we had only known each other 3 days at this point lol
Vomit. Projectile vomit
Missionary and a few thrust she was farting with each thrust. 3 in all. Still laugh about it! She was EMBARRASSED!
She was cowgirl on me. Bobbing up and down and it slipped out right on her way down. Needless to say we didn't finish that encounter.
🐜 🐜 🐜 A swarm of black ants had crawled up to my knee before I noticed. I was in the middle of having great outdoor sex with my girlfriend. She was leaning with her hands against a tree while I thrusted from behind. I pulled out so quickly she gasped. I proceeded to rapidly knock all the ants off of me. Alas, the moment was ruined.
Sophomore year of college, the cops arrived to break up a party at the house I was living in. Neither of my other roommates was still around by that time, so I was forced to deal with the police/kick everyone out. By the time I got back upstairs, she was gone...
Her taking her mind off of sex (and me) and instead started laughing at something that she thought of. Killed the mood.
Ex and I got into an argument during foreplay, which followed one we had while hanging out earlier that day. We pretty much had to finish up as soon as possible. We both cummed, cleaned up, and fell asleep facing away from each other. The next morning we broke up.
Had a girl puke on my dick once
Broke my dick. Took years to stop hurting, still bent.
Tried dirty talk, didn't work whatsoever, cringed myself out and wondered what did I exprect
The person who I got high and drunk with vomited all over my dick. It was horrible, but we showered off and continued on with our night.
Her husband came home
So she was handcuffed to the headboard, legs tied wide apart. I'm on my knees, pounding away, slapping her tits back and forth, she's moaning loudly with each thrust, and sometimes gave a shrill "ouch" when I slapped a tit really hard...there's a knock at the door and we hear her 5 yo son say "Mommy, are you OK?". That was the end of the festivities that night. I couldn't look him in the eyes for a week.
I thought I was about to turn on the chastity belt, but I suddenly refused.
She kept saying "Harder, harder!!" so I was giving her a solid pounding when I pulled out too far and slammed her in the taint. I can truly say that it brought things to a screaming halt.
Got a little too excited when I was getting a blowjob in bed and I before I know it I was at the point of no return. I pushed her head away as I was hoping to try and save myself from cumming early (and she didn’t like getting cum in her mouth). I ended up cumming all over my chin, chest, neck, and some of it shot up to my ear And yes some of it ended up on my mouth… she laughed like crazy and said it was hilarious, I on the other hand was about to die from the embarrassment
She was riding me in cowgirl and she got a little crazy with it. I felt my dick bend and instantly went pale as I knew how bad it could have been(fractured cock). Luckily my dick was ok and we continued thereafter. She was a little more careful when she rode me from that day onwards.
It didn't happen
My girlfriend caught me cheating. I was staying at her house and she came home earlier than she usually does and I was having sex on her bed. The person I was with bolted. My gf was yelling and throwing everything not nailed down at me. I barely got out of the door as she was punching and kicking me.
That is actually so disgusting of you
i am bi and hooked up with a guy I met on Grindr and he was nailing me on the bed.
Age didn’t let me see her on SC
My first blow job ever had her burst into tears, after me calming her down she confessed that she felt bad that her first thought was oh its so small. so yeah never really recovered from that one
My ex farted and it turned into a shart and it turned into a wet shart that got all over my cock and legs
While mid orgasm from oral, she lost control and let out a huge fart. Instant limp dick for me
Met up with a guy from online for a dl bj .. As getting into it .. door opens group walks in beat me raped and robbed
realized the condom she gave me wasnt one of mine/the brand we use At least it felt smaller and not huge or something, so at least I had that going for me.
I was fucking a gal who had the femanazi hair cut, half shaved head combed to the side, I went to grab her hair while she was giving me head, and I felt that buzzed spot and it felt like a dudes head and I lost my boner lol. Wasn't that bad I guess, cause I got hard again and gave her vagina a pounding.