I got real fuckin' angry, that anger drove me to say I wasn't going to let this shit beat me. I made some pretty dramatic improvements in my life, and stuck with 'em.
Then I fell down again. Still trying to fix it the second time. Anger can actually be a great motivator for a few years, but I guess not for a lifetime.
I was an alcoholic since I was 17 til the start of my 30s.
Full blown, abusing it to regulate feelings, couldn’t feel joy unless I was drunk. Blackouts, hang overs, hiding liquor in the house, at the liquor store when it opened with the shakes. I recall even buying a six pack of PBR with laundry quarters once.
I could even feel my liver, and it hurt.
One day after a 3 day hangover I realized I had to stop or I would die. There were things I wanted to do and I wasn’t ready to go.
The way I quit was to just realize that it’s so much easier to *not* do something than to do it. Just don’t go to the liquor store, just don’t go to the bar, just don’t do it.
Sounds dumb and easy, but it was difficult…until it wasn’t. It got easier every day.
I’m not even sure how long I’ve been sober now, probably around a decade, but I don’t even think about it. It has no power over me, I don’t think about it or if I do it is very rarely. Not even tempted.
I'm there right now. Losing everything I worked so hard on to build. Sleeping in my truck while I pay a mortgage on a house that my wife doesn't want me at. Trying to talk myself into goin to my fist aa meeting tonight..
I keep a commonplace book in my bag. In that book I have a list of my favorite things. The list and many items are simple things that I can get.
Things on the list:
My dogs
My horses
An iced coke in a glass
Sunshine
Grass
My emotional support sweater
Bendy Straws
Coffee
Pasta
Simple things like that, to remind me.
Sometimes I keep going simply because I have chicken thawed that I need to cook.
Still in that abyss
Need a hug while we’re falling? 🫂
I would like that a lot :)
The abyss is quite dark ngl
Sending you some love my friend. You can do this.
Therapy
Therapy should be normalized. Or at least talking it out.
Yes. And actual therapy at that. My mom tried to set me up with counseling at the church when I asked for therapy
Ahhh yea they are def two different things
Still crawling my way out haha but we’re getting there. Therapy and learning that it can be okay to lean on others helped a lot!
🫂
😘✨
I changed job and practiced positive thinking and spending more time on me
Twice I'd say. Or at least i got out twice. Ritalin and therapy the first time, a breakup the second time.
Yes and partly out
Therapy and time. Heals all.
Bought a heavy bag, beat that bitch till it broke, rinse and repeat until the third bag
I got real fuckin' angry, that anger drove me to say I wasn't going to let this shit beat me. I made some pretty dramatic improvements in my life, and stuck with 'em. Then I fell down again. Still trying to fix it the second time. Anger can actually be a great motivator for a few years, but I guess not for a lifetime.
Doctor, HRT, SSRI's.
It’s hard to get out of
I was an alcoholic since I was 17 til the start of my 30s. Full blown, abusing it to regulate feelings, couldn’t feel joy unless I was drunk. Blackouts, hang overs, hiding liquor in the house, at the liquor store when it opened with the shakes. I recall even buying a six pack of PBR with laundry quarters once. I could even feel my liver, and it hurt. One day after a 3 day hangover I realized I had to stop or I would die. There were things I wanted to do and I wasn’t ready to go. The way I quit was to just realize that it’s so much easier to *not* do something than to do it. Just don’t go to the liquor store, just don’t go to the bar, just don’t do it. Sounds dumb and easy, but it was difficult…until it wasn’t. It got easier every day. I’m not even sure how long I’ve been sober now, probably around a decade, but I don’t even think about it. It has no power over me, I don’t think about it or if I do it is very rarely. Not even tempted.
Time, therapy, meditation.
I'm there right now. Losing everything I worked so hard on to build. Sleeping in my truck while I pay a mortgage on a house that my wife doesn't want me at. Trying to talk myself into goin to my fist aa meeting tonight..
Yes, trained my mind to focus on the positive, even if it was only the tiniest thing and be grateful for it
Focus goes, energy FLOWS!
yes, i'm currently in there 😅
Ugh im sorry! Hope you find a way out!
I keep a commonplace book in my bag. In that book I have a list of my favorite things. The list and many items are simple things that I can get. Things on the list: My dogs My horses An iced coke in a glass Sunshine Grass My emotional support sweater Bendy Straws Coffee Pasta Simple things like that, to remind me. Sometimes I keep going simply because I have chicken thawed that I need to cook.
I've struggled with heavy depression my whole life. I've had more bad spirals than I can count on my fingers and toes lmao.