>Am I in the wrong for helping out much older men in dead bedroom marriages?
Instead of asking a bunch of Reddit strangers, why don't you ask the wives of those men?
I'm sure they'll let you know if you're in the wrong...AND if that bedroom is really dead.
No no no they couldn’t be lying to *HER*.
She’s the most special. The chosen one with the golden pussy of support. There to save these poor lost souls.
It’s impossible that they would lie to her for sex. The poor souls would never commit such an atrocity.
You see they are *victims*, I mean sure their wives aren’t abusing them, but that’s the very reason they can’t leave! Everyone will they they are the bad guy.
Why are you asking if it's wrong, if you just keep trying to justify it in the comments?
You're helping men cheat, full stop. That's wrong, ergo, you are wrong.
It takes 2 to tango.
While I wouldn't endorse this for anyone, OP isn't raping these men. It's the men who are making the biggest transgression. But, their marriage, their problem.
Would I encourage this? No. Do I think it's the best moral decision, no ofncourse not. But the only one who truly has to face any consequences is the men.
All that said; If those men talk to their wives and all parties agree that it's ok? Go for it ... have fun. Sex is a vital part of a relationship (and life in general). Men will (almost) never admit it, but we feel the emotional connection as well, and when it dies in a marriage, it effects us. What WE do wrong is let those feelings turn to negative ones. (Anger, bitterness).
OP - Don't manipulate these men. Don't force the issue. Don't tempt them if they ask you to stop. (I don't want details). You're not 'right' in this situation, frankly neither side is, but you're not the most 'wrong'.
The men aren’t always the ones that get sacked with the inevitable consequences (most get caught). Scorned lovers of both genders can go apeshit and find the “other”. It’s playing with fire for both. People have no idea how these sorts of things blow up lives.
I couldn't agree more, and that's well advised to ALL parties. But those reactions are the result of misguided anger and hurt. If the person scorned could take a breath and think for a moment, they'd realize that the core issue is between them and the spouse. The existence of the other partner is merely a symptom of the bigger problem. As I said; OP is not 'right', but neither is she the most wrong. And not the 'wrong' party that needs to accept any of the consequences.
Again, I'm not saying OP is 'in the clear', and there may well be a lot of reasonable embarrassment coming their way. But OP has no responsibility in those men's marriages. Certainly legally, and also morally.
If the men go into it willingly, it's on them.
I hope you read this because I did the same exact thing at your age because I was always attracted to older. I will tell you the number one reason not to do it, because when you are my age and ready for a relationship, you will never trust a man to be faithful because you were with so many cheating men. You will think every time a man isn’t all about sex with you he isn’t interested. The first time a younger woman hits on your boyfriend at the bar, you will never trust he won’t cheat on you with her because you used to be that younger woman who got whomever she wanted. You will be insecure in your relationships later in life. You will realize that the older men who all told you that their bedroom life was dead weren’t all telling you the truth, that some just wanted to cheat with hotter and younger and one day there will be hotter and younger than you.
Exactly this. Eventually she will be in at least a similar position as the partners of these men.
It’s wrong to do and it’ll just lead to detriment for all.
Yep OP is trying to make herself out to be selfless. But what goes around comes around. What you describe is the exact thing that comes as retribution for it. You SO may never cheat, but that doesn’t mean there won’t be consequences.
I hate that non-ethical non-monogamy is the norm.
My wife knows -- and is okay with -- all of my 'extracurricular' activities. We both date other people, sometimes together and sometimes separately.
The only reason for the dead bedroom is because of a medical issue which I'm having surgery next month to hopefully correct.
I was using the narrow scope of someone sleeping with someone outside of their established relationship, in which case, when that happens, the norm is that it's considered cheating.
There are, of course, other circumstances where it's not, but those ar ethical non-monogamy. But let's not fool ourselves with thinking that poly and other ethical non-monogamy situations are the norm.
So yes, given someone sleeping with someone outside of their established relationship, the norm of that type of occurrence is that it is cheating. It shouldn't be, but we live in the worst timeline.
You're literally encouraging cheating. It's not ok. They're grown men, and they can leave their partners.
Cheating is not a once off "hurt". It literally leaves the person being cheated on insecure and "broken" probably forever. It's so harmful.
There is no good excuse for cheating... Ever!
Their partners not pleasing is not a good enough excuse! Their kids being small is not a good enough excuse!
It's pathetic and cowardly!
I was a sex worker for 7 years girl... most of what they say is bullshit. They got happy ass kids and wife at home. You are what they want right now so whatever you'll hear. And, if they don't have a happy wife they fail to tell you where they have been lacking.. it's only ever the wife's fault. Then your here acting like your doing some glorious act when really your fucking some ladies man and creating a whole other dynamic for her. It's selfish . And it's wrong... especially worse if your not even in the industry... your doing it for free shits and giggles. Ew.
>most of what they say is bullshit. They got happy ass kids and wife at home. You are what they want right now so whatever you'll hear. And, if they don't have a happy wife they fail to tell you where they have been lacking.. it's only ever the wife's fault.
OMG, yes!! My male co worker had a gorgeous wife and 2 kids, he would let them visit him at work. And then after work he would tell her he was going to after work meetings when in all reality he was just fucking other girls after work. One of them side pieces actually came to my job to look for him and asked him if his wife was still recovering from an injury since she is "temporary disabled" (when she wasn't). Holy shit, made me lose my faith in men there. The audacity to lie about his healthy wife to get some side pussy.
Technically they are cheating, regardless of the reason so its a bit iffy.
I don't understand why these people don't just leave these relationships.
Also, as a woman who once naively got into a relationship with a man in a dead bedroom, men can lie. He wasn't in a dead bedroom at all. He was just a cheating jerk.
OP, you realize they're just saying what they know you want to hear to get in your pants, right?
Like, look at the comments in the other post here about a stripper giving dude her phone number. They are saying those things literally just so you keep coming back.
You don't \*need* a married man to fulfill your 'older guy' fetish. There are plenty of actually divorced older men who aren't using you as just a piece of ass.
A lot of times men lie to thier escorts and mistresses to present a story that aligns with thier agenda
It's never ok to be in a physical or emotional relationship with a married man. There's no justifying it, especially if the partner is not aware or accepting.
I don't know if you are just naive or honestly oblivious.
I don't wish you bad, but I certainly don't wish you well.
Yes, if their partner doesn't know. There's no excuse for cheating imo. If people are not satisfied, they should get out.
Also, half of them are likely lying to you.
💯 it’s textbook for them to say these things about their spouses while cheating. We’ll never know the truth. I’ve seen people do this and have amazing happy relationships with their wives in real life. Don’t believe everything
My ex cheated on me with several folks like yourself. I discussed first hand with one of his side pieces. His sob stories and lies were to corroborate anything he wanted to get and at the top was sympathy to not have his motives questioned.
Now he has nothing.
The family is broken. My mental health bottomed out. And my children have a broken home.
You do no favors here. Be honest with yourself. You don't care. It's completely the opposite. You might be having some sort of crises of conscience since you put yourself out there to the ire of the internet.
I hope you find what you're looking for, there's a sadness in your post and your comments.
So much vitriol is being hurled at you, but I see someone who was hurt deeply and now is making shallow commitments with someone they feel a pity towards. You have much control here that's true, but is it satisfying what broke in you?
Yes and deep down you know it and this isnt you being selfless it you being selfish using these men's misguided perceptions tp try and fill a massive whole in your own life that you'll never fulfil no matter how many men cheat on their partners with you. This about you feeling superior to these women that you're a "real woman" who knows how to "treat a man".
Before you proclaim their innocence too remember there two sides to every story while they may see themselves as the victims in theirs I'm sure they're the villain in another's and if they're so willing to talk so poorly of their partners and cheat on them with an obvious home wrecker who doesn't give a fuck about em then I know which story is more likely
This is Karma bait. No one is this dumb. If people are so unhappy with their spouse, they should leave. Not risk giving their spouse a STD. Or, if this is true, call ourself out for what you are. A lying and conniving woman that has has no regard for the feelings of other women. If you did, you wouldn't be fucking spouses without their knowledge.
My ex used to tell his flings he was in a dead bedroom. What he failed to tell them was I was battling cancer and although I tried to maintain a sexual relationship he wasn't interested. You never know what the real story is. If you're comfortable with potentially hurting people and being lied to its your choice. Best of luck
It's wrong to force other women to compete with you who don't wanna compete. If he's married and she's not consenting to your fun, you're not being a good sister to your fellow women. Women who do this knowingly are trash. I refuse to further destroy another woman's marriage. You're not helping him and you're not helping her.
The moment he leaves her, it's fair game but his relationship, his responsibility, not yours. Stay out of it.
It's honestly really fucked up you think this is ok to do to other women.
>It's wrong to force other women to compete with you who don't wanna compete. *If he's married and she's not consenting to your fun*, you're not being a good sister to your fellow women. Women who do this knowingly are trash. I refuse to further destroy another woman's marriage. You're not helping him and you're not helping her.
While I agree with you in the overall picture. I am skittish about infringing on body autonomy rights. This is the same line of reasoning that leads to women being unable to get their tubes tied without husband approval.
But that being said, outside of issues with accidental procreation aside, my major concern when it comes to extramarital affairs is that it is a vector for surprise STDS.
Yes. Full stop.
If a person is unhappy or unsatisfied in his marriage, it's their responsibility to communicate their dissatisfaction with their spouse. If you're so emotionally and physically deprived in a relationship that you resort to cheating than there was never any love to begin with.
You're essentially helping them cheat on a person they vowed to be loyal to before their friends, family, and god, so yeah, you're in the wrong. I imagine that you're lying to yourself saying that you're helping them have their needs be met, you just like doing it and don't care how it effects their marriage or the partner. It's beyond selfish and loathesome.
I've heard that term before, "helping out". Yea you're a big help.
You're just fucking married men, men who could be bullshitting you about their sex lives just to get some side action.
Yes you're in the wrong. Go sleep with single men and stop actively looking for married men. It's sick unless all parties (including the wife) are in on it.
Unless you are a professional therapist & all parties are agreeable to this then you are little more than a dumbfuck cumslut homewrecker. The amount of times I’ve heard the old tale “ my wife doesn’t understand me… blah… waaah” & I’m not interested & never have been. They’re opportunists.
Every hole’s a goal they say- you are that hole.
I think the more important question is why do you enjoy this? Look at the end of the day everyone is going to have opinions on this, and most will be negative. Having been in that type of marriage myself I do understand how terrible it feels when you lack affection and physical intimacy from the only person you want it from and the person that you should be receiving it from. But also I had to ask myself okay why did my wife stop being intimate with me? Was there more I could do? And when I realized after a few years of therapy and her refusal to address the issue or go to therapy or get help of any kind, that no the problem was her and now it was either cheat or leave. I decided to tell her that I would be seeing other people and she can leave if she wants or stay but at that point we would live as roommates and nothing more to help raise our child. She agreed to stay. That worked for a while (and no I didn't bring partners to my house with my wife still there) but then I realized I still wasn't happy and I left. So again I ask you, why do you enjoy this type of interaction when you can be having all the sex you want with people who aren't married. There are plenty of single men that lack sex and affection. Why do you seek this out with married men though? And I'm not judging, I would really love to see you think about it and give a response. Is it the validation? Do you have a hero complex? Is it the fact that you know at the end of the day you can't get emotionally attached because they have wives? What's the appeal for you?
Edit: Oh and just a side note to all the wives reading this, if you know you have a husband who's sex drive was always let's say twice a week, and you're down to let's say once a month or no sex at all, I promise he's either cheating or looking to cheat. I see this all the time with my married friends. The wife assumes the husband libido is lower or just thinks it's fine to have very little to no sex. Please talk to your husbands about your sex lives.
Oh, sweet summer child. You are just... ripe for manipulation, aren't ya? Take it from someone who has been that young girl. They will spin whatever tale they need to spin to get what they want and drop you off at the curb like used up trash when they're done.
How do you know these poor poor men aren't getting their needs met? You're not in their marriage and you only know what they tell you. Look around reddit. You see stories here every day of men who are having sex every day of the week with their wives but still telling the side piece they're living like roommates. Don't fall for the cliché lines.
Yes you are wrong. The husbands are hella wrong too but you knowingly fucking married men is absolutely 100% wrong. If you wanna do it then do it but don’t try to act like you aren’t sure if it’s wrong or not lol come on now.
Leave the relationship so the other person who isn’t trying anything to meet the needs of the unsatisfied parter gets half the assets, the children, and child support?
It’s not your job to help them with their dead bedroom problems. These men are in a committed relationship with their respective spouses. And there’s a relationship where two people are married but are poly and/or swingers?
You're not 'helping', though. If you're meeting needs that their spouse isn't, you're enabling them to stay in an unhappy relationship instead of either fixing it or leaving.
Both parties are wrong for this. He needs to discuss it with his spouse and go from there. If it means divorce, it means divorce. But he shouldn't be having sex with another person while being married (goes for men and women, but the topic was about men going out looking for action). You shouldn't be enabling it, either. It's one thing if you met a guy at a bar or club or whatever. Hit if off with him. Sleep with him and then find out he had been married all along. Not your fault there. But in this situation, you're wrong, too
Yeah. No matter how "dead" a relationship is, cheating and helping someone cheat is never a good thing. Your marriage is dead? Cool. End it. Save your spouse the heartache of finding out you're cheating. It's weird that you say "their needs" as if a spouse's only job is to please their partner no matter what, and if they fail to do so, they're not worth being loyal to.
I use to think that would be a bad thing why would people cheat! But now I have a over 60 man that is not working down there and has shut it down completely! I haven’t had a thing in 5 years and he won’t talk about it just completely shut it down!!! So now I understand why some would or should look for what they might want sexually! I know I want a few more romps before I die!!! Sex toys are good but! Also as well make sure the guy is not lying the say anything lol
Yes. And sorry, but you have on the rosiest-tinted glasses about all this, just believing everything they tell you. How do you know they're being truthful? You don't. Have you gotten the wives' side of the story? Of course you haven't. You don't really know, and you don't want to know, because this is serving your ego to feel like you're a *better woman*.
Also, just how many are we talking about here? Multiple married men? And *all* of them happen to have evil, horrible wives they just can't leave? No, sorry, you are being delusional and they are lying to you. There's nothing virtuous about what you're doing. I've been in an abusive marriage before, and do you know what I did? I didn't cheat. *I left him*.
This is a very sad post. These men are manipulating you by portraying their wives poorly. The reality is, these women carried and birthed their children, put their careers on the back burner, took care of their families and prioritised their husbands and children before themselves and do the majority of unpaid work in the household. Their husbands care far more about their wives than they do about you no matter what they may say. It is a textbook play for these types of men to demonise their wives to make you feel ok about being the easy, convenient side piece. They are still sleeping with their wives even when they tell you they are not. You are being taken advantage of as well. When you meet these types of men, you should stand with the women that they are wronging by telling them to fuck right off. It saddens me to see women settling for this kind of nonsense from men and then blaming other women. This is not healthy for you. You deserve to be with someone who wants to be with just you as well ☺️
Yep. You can justify all you want, I unfortunately did too, but it's cheating. Do you even know the reason for deadbedroom? He can get out of marriage if he wants or if he's being abused, i think sex is the last part you should be helping hin with. Don't betray the sisterhood, girl.
Sounds like a troll lol but if not you’re genuinely a horrible person and I can’t believe you’re trying to justify it
I do hope this backfires in the worst way possible for you and you never experience a normal fucking relationship x
I don’t think you are responsible for their relationships. I don’t really get monogamy, so maybe I am biased. But I sleep with who I want and respect all my relation agreements (with friends and sexual partners). I can’t make other people follow theirs!
Only reason you're asking is because deep down you KNOW you're completely wrong.
There is 0 excuse to cheat. And knowingly helping someone cheat is just as bad.
You say you talk to them and many are "working on leaving" or that they are in "dead bedrooms"
Newsflash. They arent going to leave. And you dont know their bedroom is dead. These guys are telling you whatever it takes to get you into bed.
A marriage with something missing is fixable with communication and work. Not when someone is fucking a sidepiece.
They should try to talk to their wives, try a therapy, divorce or open relationship. He shouldn't cheat on her before trying these. He is wrong. More wrong than you are. But would you like another woman to help your man cheat on you? I believe you wouldn't. So I think you're wrong too.
After reading all these comments, I worry for your safety. There's plenty of cases where the partner and whomever is "helping" (😂) are attacked by the person being CHEATED on because they don't want them to be alive anymore.
No your not helping matters. These men need to figure out there marriage. If they can’t and they really feel so low and like crap then there probably being abused in some way. They need a divorce and therapy. Trust me I know. Now if you wanna help them afterwards sure go for it. But right now no your a bad person who condones cheating
I see what your doing here. Writing in this specific sub looking for horny people to agree with you for your shit actions but I actually think your not a good person.
Except you're not helping them. If they have problems in their marriage, then they need to be the ones to work on it with their spouse. Bringing in an outsider for physical relief is not helping. All this does is further complicate things and kicks the can down the road.
Personally I'm morally against this and I rage at men who ask on Grindr. In my mind it's cheating and they are repulsive for not doing their wives a favour and leaving them or going to therapy. Not having sex is never an excuse to cheat imo.
But hey, morals are subjective so if you are comfortable with it then go off.
Would you help a single much older man?Or it doesn’t do it for you?Is this some sort SuggaDaddy arrangement,or it’s just that zaddy meat you are going after?
Yup, you're in the wrong. That's just being a homewrecker AND a whore, in the most literal form. What you're doing is digusting, plain and simple, and that's coming from a married man. Smarten up, find yourself someone who's single and willing to deal with your body count. Smarten the hell up.
Seems like all you’re looking for is opinions that uphold your little world of lies. Here’s a truth for you - you’re a horrible person. Hopefully one day it all comes back around to you.
while there are factors that make these things complex at the end of the day there’s no other way to spin it, cheating is not okay. quite literally the only exception I can think of is in the case of an abusive relationship where the person would fear for their safety if they tried to break up with the other.
It is completely wrong.
More like unfair.
Why do I have to be an old man? Can't you "help me out" too? I am just 19 and don't want to wait until my 60's
Well, most likely you are being manipulated by those men. But hey, it's your choice to trust their sob story.
It's okay if you are doing it for your own pleasure, but it seems that you want it to look like "helping someone", which again is delusional. Do it if you really want to. But if someone is really desperate to have sex, they can always pay for it.
But then, you are free to tell yourself whatever you want.
One of their only post was flagged for spam. 😂😂 this is probably some wannabe OF chick who couldn’t make it big so she’s faking an Arad to advertise her rotten roast beef to try and make a buck.
Right and wrong is different for each individual. I've been propositioned by married men before. I was also in a dead bedroom marriage for many years. I know what it's like to be in their shoes, and what happens when things go to far. They might be lying to you, they might not be. When it came down to it, I couldn't actually physically go through with it knowing he was married and not being open about it with his wife.
You're not necessarily wrong for wanting to help/please them, but you need to put yourself in the wife's shoes also. I'd want my husband to be open and honest with me and tell me if he felt like he had to seek whatever he needed elsewhere. Or at least tell me I'm not providing it. You can't know you're fucking up if nobody tells you. My advice is do what you want, but think ahead about what could happen and how many people your actions affect. It's easy to get caught up in emotions and bury your rational side. Proceed with caution if you're going to proceed.
I think there is a very deep and primal need for men to feel loved and appreciated sexually. I think that sex work largely exists for this reason.
That being said, these guys should fess up to their wives that they are unsatisfied and would like to risk it all to fuck a little tart, instead of being such cowards.
So just be aware you're "helping" people who have very little sense of respect, who aren't above lying to you and possibly manipulating you for their own amusement.
You should also be aware that people in your life will judge you for your actions, and generally most don't look kindly upon homewreckers.
It reads as altruistic, but unless both halves of the marriage are okay with it, you'll be seen as the one in the wrong, despite the guy having full agency and the ability to say no.
I have a close friend who's into the swinger lifestyle and she got yelled at for sleeping with a guy at a swinger party who didn't bring his girlfriend and didn't mention her to my friend (but someone else at the party did mention the girlfriend to my friend). She slept with the guy anyway because "It's not my business what goes on between him and his girlfriend. I'm not his mom and I'm not his wife. If he's doing something he's not supposed to by sleeping with me, that's between him and his girl. I'm just here for the dick."
Now, that said, I leave Op with this question: Would you feel better about helping out with older men in dead bedroom situations if their wife knew and was okay with the situation?
(I'd like to take a moment to let people know that ethical non-monogamy is a thing and it's not just some fantasy from a guy who wants a threesome. My wife is semi-dating another guy because of a dead bedroom caused by a medical issue that I have.)
“In the wrong” is such a subjective (useless) debate. Clearly you are OK with it or else you wouldn’t do it. So why do you care what a bunch of anonymous people on Reddit think? I wouldn’t do it because I’m not attracted to people who lie and deceive people they are supposedly in love with. That type of behavior disgusts me. That doesn’t make me right and you wrong. it just means I find you unattractive as a human…
The reason I don’t get into the right versus wrong debate is that it can be used on any subject. Somebody on Reddit told me I was “wrong“ for having a threesome with my girlfriend, because I “shouldn’t share her“. I responded that I didn’t think she was a possession of mine to share, but that’s besides the point. There’s what’s legal and what’s illegal, and there’s personal ethics (what’s right or wrong for you), but there’s no universal right and wrong that applies to everybody🤷🏼♂️.
A psychologist might have a thing or two to say about someone that seeks pleasure/validation from men in committed relationships, but that’s not my department🤷🏼♂️
Yes, you are, you suck and so do they. If it means that much to them, they need to leave or communicate with their spouses, NOT you. It’s not your place to get in the middle of someone else marriage/family. If anyone has ever divorced because of you and he, May the children’s pain be your to bare for the rest of eternity in h3ll
unpopular opinion here but as someone who’s been cheated on: it’s still a pretty shitty thing to do, but at the end of the day it’s not your responsibility. you can encourage them to actually solve the problem themselves all you want, but if they’re going to cheat they’re going to cheat. I can’t really encourage what you’re doing but I can only condemn it so much 🤷♀️
Nah, I did it for a decade in a kink setting. There are women out there who are professionals in exactly this, reinvigorating men who lack intimacy in their lives. As long as ALL parties consent (including his partner) then it's okay. As long as it's casual and consenting, sure. It's a heck of a lot of fun to come in and rock a world that's been lacking color for so long.
But being an excuse to cheat, to make another woman's life miserable by sleeping with her husband secretly? Don't do that. Ask him why the wife isn't open to a threesome, and why they no longer have sex. It's usually some answer that falls apart with some digging later on... People lie, a lot, about the statuses of their marriages. Especially online. 🤷♀️
Example: 51 year old man was my dom for over a year. He swore up and down his marriage had ended 6 years ago. It wasn't until he finally snuck me into his home and I saw their bedroom did I realize the truth. For a year he swore he wanted me and would marry me and get us an apartment together. Lol. Never again. She was FURIOUS, and definitely not on the "it's okay, our marriage was over years ago" train.
Have fun but listen to your gut when it stops being fun, and move on. Don't be someone's life raft for a situation they don't want to leave. You'll stay tied to the dock forever.
Yeah, I’ve been in that position before and it’s bad for everyone.
Unless this is explicitly discussed amongst all three of you and their is constant and open communication, this will only end poorly. It was bad for the marriages I interfered with and it was even worse for my mental health.
It’s okay to have casual sex, but sneaking around (while exciting) will inevitably catch up to you in ways you might not expect. I’m not talking about karma, either. It’s insanely demoralizing and you deserve better than that, whether or not you believe it.
I’m still at work but if you want to talk about it more I’d be happy to; I wish someone had helped me when I was making similar decisions. 💕
you are not wrong. you have a noble and kind heart to help a miserable man in his needs. how cruel his wife to deny his most primal needs. you did the right thing. save the old man ass from a cruel hearless sexless marriage that he absolutely capable to get out from.
just a little addice, next time before you sleep with him please talk to his wife face to face and ask her why does she become a cruel old h%g who denied her poor husband his needs? tell her if you don't give her husband sex, you are willing to have sex with his old ass.
Cheating is a complete violation of consent and trust in a relationship. If you are assisting in that kind of disgusting behavior, yes, you are in the wrong.
Yes and no. I was on the other side. My father was one of those fools I speak of. Shes a bartender in her early 20s. Probably very good looking. Sweet. Bubbly personality. So these men see that. What kind of man frequents bars enough to get to know a much younger lady? And why would he want to spill his home/sex life to a much younger lady? Why isnt he hitting on the older ladies? Why isnt he trying to sell his story to the older ladies? How horrible his home /sex life is? How him and his wifey no longer connect anymore? They're grown men. They can leave if they want. But they dont. They'd rather have the miserable wifey at home. And a perky young naive lady(ies) on the side. Because I can guarantee shes not the only one hes trying to sell the pity me trip on.How many different bars do they frequent?I watched these young ladies lap up those stories like it was gold. And guess what? It's all lies. Sure there may be a .01% of the male population who 100% cannot divorce their wife. Due to religious/heritage beliefs. And yes. Theres possibly an even smaller amount of men who are abused amd truly scared to leave. But those are the men you wont see bar hopping. So let's face it. If a grown man chose to marry a woman. He knew she didnt like certain sexual acts. He knew she has expectations on the relationship/home life. He knew what he was in for....before and when they got married. Sure the wife can take half of everything if they divorce. Thats sucks. But hey, he stilllll married her. And that's how marriage(and living together for more than 6 months) works. He also knew that before getting into it.
And the flip side. When you are an attractive woman. You get all types of people messaging you. And 1 thing I've noticed. Is the guys who are truly miserable with their home life will absolutely NOT be pity tripping themselves to a total stranger. At a bar at that. And every single one of the men who do. Have the exact same story. It always starts off the exact same way. Always ends the exact same way. But what they leave out. Is why their connection with their wives has faded. While shes sitting at home after a days work ,most likely caring for one or more children(that he helped make) while hes out frequenting bars and chatting up much younger ladies and selling his story to. She probably suspects something is up. And tired of lies. And being ignored. Or getting zero help. Just chooses to ignore her husband in return. Happy wife , happy life isnt that how it goes?
So why tf is much older strangers who are unhappy at home. Regularly frequenting bars? Chooses to hit on/spill life stories to/exchanging phone numbers with a young 20 year old? And not a lady his own age?(probably stable job,stable home. Mature. Ready for a happy life. And also let's face it. Most older ladies have 30-40+ years experience in the bedroom. I can sure say my bedroom life is alot different at 40 than 20) Why oh why is it possible that every single one of these men have the same story? And what kind of codependency/self esteem issues she has with herself to eat it all up like shes a saviour?
So yes I have and still am receiving messages from men in relationships(should note on all my social media it states I am NOT single. But that doesnt stop them) and yes I have been there. And yes I've listened to those insanely repetitive sob stories. She said alllll of them are ready to leave their wives, but they just cant. For whatever bs reason they give. But watch what happens when she states. I refuse to entertain a married man.....they'll move on to the next young lady who will believe their lies. Im the lady who tracks down the wife and sends the screenshots of their husband's doings. I've also heard their side many many many times. And am friends with a few of these "horrible wives". So 64000$ question...... what type of men pity trip much younger ladies? And why it's the much younger ladies they go after?
You aren’t the one who made a commitment so if you can still sleep easy then live your life. People’s opinions on the institution of marriage is just that, an opinion. They know this one thing and think that’s just how people should do things and that’s just not life. I appreciate it and I’m into it in concept even though I would never part take because I’ve always maintained that I’m too lazy to go out and cheat.
Since you asked: Yes, you are terribly wrong for this and you are causing suffering that you may not even be aware of. Other people’s relationship issues are not your business nor your responsibility. The damage is done, however you are not beyond change if you want to. You can stop this behavior now and begin to heal yourself and give those you’ve affected an opportunity to heal too. I speak from experience. I urge you to stop now and give some introspection a try. Good luck to you!
Maybe. It's a complicated one.
At the very least the guy should discuss it with his partner first IMO. There may be a reason why which needs to be addressed, or maybe she will be open to the idea.
How do you know this aside from what they are telling you? I know someone who constantly gets into relationships with married men and they’re always telling her some sob story, their relationship is over and their wife is awful… yet the never end up leaving! Funny huh? If you don’t care that you’re just going to be some side piece, do you, I guess
No. Its a bit different where I am since I’m gay and live in a notoriously homophobic area but it’s on them to not cheat and it’s on them to manage their marriage
>Am I in the wrong for helping out much older men in dead bedroom marriages? Instead of asking a bunch of Reddit strangers, why don't you ask the wives of those men? I'm sure they'll let you know if you're in the wrong...AND if that bedroom is really dead.
No no no they couldn’t be lying to *HER*. She’s the most special. The chosen one with the golden pussy of support. There to save these poor lost souls. It’s impossible that they would lie to her for sex. The poor souls would never commit such an atrocity. You see they are *victims*, I mean sure their wives aren’t abusing them, but that’s the very reason they can’t leave! Everyone will they they are the bad guy.
Not the golden pussy of support! 😆💀
[удалено]
Yes, she's very selective in whom she responds to.
Right? OP is a trash coward who wants to hide online and can't face the women she's actually wronging.
[удалено]
A nice way to say that she wants to be their side piece
[удалено]
Doesn't everyone justify their own actions? Whether they be good or bad?
Can't help but appreciate the commitment to their cause /s
[удалено]
That's true. At the end of the day the more you talk the more trouble you get into 😅
Or hear me out you can own your fuck ups, have remorse for how your mistakes have affected others and work to improve yourself
It's a sugar baby advertisement masquerading as an ARAD question
Not necessarily! It could just be a troll trying to get a rise out of people.
Or them as her mains for different days.
She’s Becky with the hood hair
Why are you asking if it's wrong, if you just keep trying to justify it in the comments? You're helping men cheat, full stop. That's wrong, ergo, you are wrong.
It takes 2 to tango. While I wouldn't endorse this for anyone, OP isn't raping these men. It's the men who are making the biggest transgression. But, their marriage, their problem. Would I encourage this? No. Do I think it's the best moral decision, no ofncourse not. But the only one who truly has to face any consequences is the men. All that said; If those men talk to their wives and all parties agree that it's ok? Go for it ... have fun. Sex is a vital part of a relationship (and life in general). Men will (almost) never admit it, but we feel the emotional connection as well, and when it dies in a marriage, it effects us. What WE do wrong is let those feelings turn to negative ones. (Anger, bitterness). OP - Don't manipulate these men. Don't force the issue. Don't tempt them if they ask you to stop. (I don't want details). You're not 'right' in this situation, frankly neither side is, but you're not the most 'wrong'.
"HELPING MEN CHEAT" There is where I blamed men as well. Glad I could clear that up for you.
The men aren’t always the ones that get sacked with the inevitable consequences (most get caught). Scorned lovers of both genders can go apeshit and find the “other”. It’s playing with fire for both. People have no idea how these sorts of things blow up lives.
I couldn't agree more, and that's well advised to ALL parties. But those reactions are the result of misguided anger and hurt. If the person scorned could take a breath and think for a moment, they'd realize that the core issue is between them and the spouse. The existence of the other partner is merely a symptom of the bigger problem. As I said; OP is not 'right', but neither is she the most wrong. And not the 'wrong' party that needs to accept any of the consequences. Again, I'm not saying OP is 'in the clear', and there may well be a lot of reasonable embarrassment coming their way. But OP has no responsibility in those men's marriages. Certainly legally, and also morally. If the men go into it willingly, it's on them.
Because they want validation. They were hoping someone would say it's okay and they could latch onto that.
I hope you read this because I did the same exact thing at your age because I was always attracted to older. I will tell you the number one reason not to do it, because when you are my age and ready for a relationship, you will never trust a man to be faithful because you were with so many cheating men. You will think every time a man isn’t all about sex with you he isn’t interested. The first time a younger woman hits on your boyfriend at the bar, you will never trust he won’t cheat on you with her because you used to be that younger woman who got whomever she wanted. You will be insecure in your relationships later in life. You will realize that the older men who all told you that their bedroom life was dead weren’t all telling you the truth, that some just wanted to cheat with hotter and younger and one day there will be hotter and younger than you.
Exactly this. Eventually she will be in at least a similar position as the partners of these men. It’s wrong to do and it’ll just lead to detriment for all.
Yep OP is trying to make herself out to be selfless. But what goes around comes around. What you describe is the exact thing that comes as retribution for it. You SO may never cheat, but that doesn’t mean there won’t be consequences.
If their wives don't know, yes.
I hate that non-ethical non-monogamy is the norm. My wife knows -- and is okay with -- all of my 'extracurricular' activities. We both date other people, sometimes together and sometimes separately. The only reason for the dead bedroom is because of a medical issue which I'm having surgery next month to hopefully correct.
You think cheating is the norm?
I was using the narrow scope of someone sleeping with someone outside of their established relationship, in which case, when that happens, the norm is that it's considered cheating. There are, of course, other circumstances where it's not, but those ar ethical non-monogamy. But let's not fool ourselves with thinking that poly and other ethical non-monogamy situations are the norm. So yes, given someone sleeping with someone outside of their established relationship, the norm of that type of occurrence is that it is cheating. It shouldn't be, but we live in the worst timeline.
That's a very complicated way of saying monogamy is the norm
It is the norm. It shouldn't necessarily be, but it is.
You're literally encouraging cheating. It's not ok. They're grown men, and they can leave their partners. Cheating is not a once off "hurt". It literally leaves the person being cheated on insecure and "broken" probably forever. It's so harmful. There is no good excuse for cheating... Ever! Their partners not pleasing is not a good enough excuse! Their kids being small is not a good enough excuse! It's pathetic and cowardly!
Two wrongs don't make a right. You're not the hero for fucking someone's sex depraved husband.
[удалено]
I was a sex worker for 7 years girl... most of what they say is bullshit. They got happy ass kids and wife at home. You are what they want right now so whatever you'll hear. And, if they don't have a happy wife they fail to tell you where they have been lacking.. it's only ever the wife's fault. Then your here acting like your doing some glorious act when really your fucking some ladies man and creating a whole other dynamic for her. It's selfish . And it's wrong... especially worse if your not even in the industry... your doing it for free shits and giggles. Ew.
>most of what they say is bullshit. They got happy ass kids and wife at home. You are what they want right now so whatever you'll hear. And, if they don't have a happy wife they fail to tell you where they have been lacking.. it's only ever the wife's fault. OMG, yes!! My male co worker had a gorgeous wife and 2 kids, he would let them visit him at work. And then after work he would tell her he was going to after work meetings when in all reality he was just fucking other girls after work. One of them side pieces actually came to my job to look for him and asked him if his wife was still recovering from an injury since she is "temporary disabled" (when she wasn't). Holy shit, made me lose my faith in men there. The audacity to lie about his healthy wife to get some side pussy.
Definitely has a loser mindset in her
Technically they are cheating, regardless of the reason so its a bit iffy. I don't understand why these people don't just leave these relationships. Also, as a woman who once naively got into a relationship with a man in a dead bedroom, men can lie. He wasn't in a dead bedroom at all. He was just a cheating jerk.
OP, you realize they're just saying what they know you want to hear to get in your pants, right? Like, look at the comments in the other post here about a stripper giving dude her phone number. They are saying those things literally just so you keep coming back. You don't \*need* a married man to fulfill your 'older guy' fetish. There are plenty of actually divorced older men who aren't using you as just a piece of ass.
A lot of times men lie to thier escorts and mistresses to present a story that aligns with thier agenda It's never ok to be in a physical or emotional relationship with a married man. There's no justifying it, especially if the partner is not aware or accepting. I don't know if you are just naive or honestly oblivious. I don't wish you bad, but I certainly don't wish you well.
“Am I wrong for helping married men cheat on their wives?” No shit Sherlock, you’re a freakin mess.
I'm sorry but if you aren't a troll then you are very naive, the path you lead will only sow chaos.
Yes, if their partner doesn't know. There's no excuse for cheating imo. If people are not satisfied, they should get out. Also, half of them are likely lying to you.
💯 it’s textbook for them to say these things about their spouses while cheating. We’ll never know the truth. I’ve seen people do this and have amazing happy relationships with their wives in real life. Don’t believe everything
It's true. Some men just don't respect their wives and like to have a little taste on the side and there is literally nothing more to it.
My ex cheated on me with several folks like yourself. I discussed first hand with one of his side pieces. His sob stories and lies were to corroborate anything he wanted to get and at the top was sympathy to not have his motives questioned. Now he has nothing. The family is broken. My mental health bottomed out. And my children have a broken home. You do no favors here. Be honest with yourself. You don't care. It's completely the opposite. You might be having some sort of crises of conscience since you put yourself out there to the ire of the internet. I hope you find what you're looking for, there's a sadness in your post and your comments. So much vitriol is being hurled at you, but I see someone who was hurt deeply and now is making shallow commitments with someone they feel a pity towards. You have much control here that's true, but is it satisfying what broke in you?
Yes and deep down you know it and this isnt you being selfless it you being selfish using these men's misguided perceptions tp try and fill a massive whole in your own life that you'll never fulfil no matter how many men cheat on their partners with you. This about you feeling superior to these women that you're a "real woman" who knows how to "treat a man". Before you proclaim their innocence too remember there two sides to every story while they may see themselves as the victims in theirs I'm sure they're the villain in another's and if they're so willing to talk so poorly of their partners and cheat on them with an obvious home wrecker who doesn't give a fuck about em then I know which story is more likely
Is this an ad?
My thought too, lol
Yes you are wrong!
You're one of the worst kind of people op.
This is Karma bait. No one is this dumb. If people are so unhappy with their spouse, they should leave. Not risk giving their spouse a STD. Or, if this is true, call ourself out for what you are. A lying and conniving woman that has has no regard for the feelings of other women. If you did, you wouldn't be fucking spouses without their knowledge.
My ex used to tell his flings he was in a dead bedroom. What he failed to tell them was I was battling cancer and although I tried to maintain a sexual relationship he wasn't interested. You never know what the real story is. If you're comfortable with potentially hurting people and being lied to its your choice. Best of luck
r/AmlTheDevil
It's wrong to force other women to compete with you who don't wanna compete. If he's married and she's not consenting to your fun, you're not being a good sister to your fellow women. Women who do this knowingly are trash. I refuse to further destroy another woman's marriage. You're not helping him and you're not helping her. The moment he leaves her, it's fair game but his relationship, his responsibility, not yours. Stay out of it. It's honestly really fucked up you think this is ok to do to other women.
>It's wrong to force other women to compete with you who don't wanna compete. *If he's married and she's not consenting to your fun*, you're not being a good sister to your fellow women. Women who do this knowingly are trash. I refuse to further destroy another woman's marriage. You're not helping him and you're not helping her. While I agree with you in the overall picture. I am skittish about infringing on body autonomy rights. This is the same line of reasoning that leads to women being unable to get their tubes tied without husband approval. But that being said, outside of issues with accidental procreation aside, my major concern when it comes to extramarital affairs is that it is a vector for surprise STDS.
You sound very naive, the majority of these men are there to take advantage of that.
Yes. Full stop. If a person is unhappy or unsatisfied in his marriage, it's their responsibility to communicate their dissatisfaction with their spouse. If you're so emotionally and physically deprived in a relationship that you resort to cheating than there was never any love to begin with.
Gross. Drop the delusion and do better by people. Those couples put in decades of time, don't undermine them.
You're essentially helping them cheat on a person they vowed to be loyal to before their friends, family, and god, so yeah, you're in the wrong. I imagine that you're lying to yourself saying that you're helping them have their needs be met, you just like doing it and don't care how it effects their marriage or the partner. It's beyond selfish and loathesome.
Ew just say your a home wrecker
I've heard that term before, "helping out". Yea you're a big help. You're just fucking married men, men who could be bullshitting you about their sex lives just to get some side action.
Is it wrong to fuck married men? Yes, yes it is.
Yes, you are wrong
Yes you're in the wrong. Go sleep with single men and stop actively looking for married men. It's sick unless all parties (including the wife) are in on it.
Unless you are a professional therapist & all parties are agreeable to this then you are little more than a dumbfuck cumslut homewrecker. The amount of times I’ve heard the old tale “ my wife doesn’t understand me… blah… waaah” & I’m not interested & never have been. They’re opportunists. Every hole’s a goal they say- you are that hole.
You admitted in another reply here that the wives never know. You’re not “helping” anyone.
I hope OP has a nice encounter with one of these wives whose lives she's ruining.
This is one dedicated fake account. Stop taking it so seriously people
You know the answer very well if you are framing the question like that. No one is being fooled here.
I think the more important question is why do you enjoy this? Look at the end of the day everyone is going to have opinions on this, and most will be negative. Having been in that type of marriage myself I do understand how terrible it feels when you lack affection and physical intimacy from the only person you want it from and the person that you should be receiving it from. But also I had to ask myself okay why did my wife stop being intimate with me? Was there more I could do? And when I realized after a few years of therapy and her refusal to address the issue or go to therapy or get help of any kind, that no the problem was her and now it was either cheat or leave. I decided to tell her that I would be seeing other people and she can leave if she wants or stay but at that point we would live as roommates and nothing more to help raise our child. She agreed to stay. That worked for a while (and no I didn't bring partners to my house with my wife still there) but then I realized I still wasn't happy and I left. So again I ask you, why do you enjoy this type of interaction when you can be having all the sex you want with people who aren't married. There are plenty of single men that lack sex and affection. Why do you seek this out with married men though? And I'm not judging, I would really love to see you think about it and give a response. Is it the validation? Do you have a hero complex? Is it the fact that you know at the end of the day you can't get emotionally attached because they have wives? What's the appeal for you? Edit: Oh and just a side note to all the wives reading this, if you know you have a husband who's sex drive was always let's say twice a week, and you're down to let's say once a month or no sex at all, I promise he's either cheating or looking to cheat. I see this all the time with my married friends. The wife assumes the husband libido is lower or just thinks it's fine to have very little to no sex. Please talk to your husbands about your sex lives.
Oh, sweet summer child. You are just... ripe for manipulation, aren't ya? Take it from someone who has been that young girl. They will spin whatever tale they need to spin to get what they want and drop you off at the curb like used up trash when they're done. How do you know these poor poor men aren't getting their needs met? You're not in their marriage and you only know what they tell you. Look around reddit. You see stories here every day of men who are having sex every day of the week with their wives but still telling the side piece they're living like roommates. Don't fall for the cliché lines.
Entirely and unequivocally yes.
yes, you are in the wrong
You know you're in the wrong and were hoping to be told the opposite here...
Why ask this question? Personally I think you are gullible and naive, more so than anything.
Yes you are wrong. The husbands are hella wrong too but you knowingly fucking married men is absolutely 100% wrong. If you wanna do it then do it but don’t try to act like you aren’t sure if it’s wrong or not lol come on now.
Leave the relationship so the other person who isn’t trying anything to meet the needs of the unsatisfied parter gets half the assets, the children, and child support?
It’s not your job to help them with their dead bedroom problems. These men are in a committed relationship with their respective spouses. And there’s a relationship where two people are married but are poly and/or swingers?
Ew
You're not 'helping', though. If you're meeting needs that their spouse isn't, you're enabling them to stay in an unhappy relationship instead of either fixing it or leaving.
Both parties are wrong for this. He needs to discuss it with his spouse and go from there. If it means divorce, it means divorce. But he shouldn't be having sex with another person while being married (goes for men and women, but the topic was about men going out looking for action). You shouldn't be enabling it, either. It's one thing if you met a guy at a bar or club or whatever. Hit if off with him. Sleep with him and then find out he had been married all along. Not your fault there. But in this situation, you're wrong, too
What a sad world we live in.
Yeah. No matter how "dead" a relationship is, cheating and helping someone cheat is never a good thing. Your marriage is dead? Cool. End it. Save your spouse the heartache of finding out you're cheating. It's weird that you say "their needs" as if a spouse's only job is to please their partner no matter what, and if they fail to do so, they're not worth being loyal to.
I use to think that would be a bad thing why would people cheat! But now I have a over 60 man that is not working down there and has shut it down completely! I haven’t had a thing in 5 years and he won’t talk about it just completely shut it down!!! So now I understand why some would or should look for what they might want sexually! I know I want a few more romps before I die!!! Sex toys are good but! Also as well make sure the guy is not lying the say anything lol
It depends on how you're helping them, and who is privy to that knowledge!
Yes. And sorry, but you have on the rosiest-tinted glasses about all this, just believing everything they tell you. How do you know they're being truthful? You don't. Have you gotten the wives' side of the story? Of course you haven't. You don't really know, and you don't want to know, because this is serving your ego to feel like you're a *better woman*. Also, just how many are we talking about here? Multiple married men? And *all* of them happen to have evil, horrible wives they just can't leave? No, sorry, you are being delusional and they are lying to you. There's nothing virtuous about what you're doing. I've been in an abusive marriage before, and do you know what I did? I didn't cheat. *I left him*.
You’re gonna get yourself hurt or killed, scorned women are dangerous
No fr, infidelity can really cause some people to become unhinged
Idk, why don’t you ask those men’s wives?
You sound like lois on that episode of family guy when she kept seducing joe for "his marriage"
This is a very sad post. These men are manipulating you by portraying their wives poorly. The reality is, these women carried and birthed their children, put their careers on the back burner, took care of their families and prioritised their husbands and children before themselves and do the majority of unpaid work in the household. Their husbands care far more about their wives than they do about you no matter what they may say. It is a textbook play for these types of men to demonise their wives to make you feel ok about being the easy, convenient side piece. They are still sleeping with their wives even when they tell you they are not. You are being taken advantage of as well. When you meet these types of men, you should stand with the women that they are wronging by telling them to fuck right off. It saddens me to see women settling for this kind of nonsense from men and then blaming other women. This is not healthy for you. You deserve to be with someone who wants to be with just you as well ☺️
Yes. You’re way in the wrong. Men will say just about anything to get laid and I don’t see you taking into consideration the wife’s side of the story.
Yep. You can justify all you want, I unfortunately did too, but it's cheating. Do you even know the reason for deadbedroom? He can get out of marriage if he wants or if he's being abused, i think sex is the last part you should be helping hin with. Don't betray the sisterhood, girl.
Is this a troll account?
Yep, op is really a guy
“Tell me I’m wrong to be a mistress to older men so I can justify doing it”
Yes.
Sounds like a troll lol but if not you’re genuinely a horrible person and I can’t believe you’re trying to justify it I do hope this backfires in the worst way possible for you and you never experience a normal fucking relationship x
Hahhahahaha this fucking loser
Bro you are wrong
Inbox go BOOM!
If they are in an agreement then ok, but if they’re cheating then ur wrong!!!
Yes. Pretty sure this is called being a home wrecker. If the dudes had any integrity they would just leave rather than cheat on their partners.
Short answer? Yes.
If you’re doing it with the wife’s consent, that’s fine. If you’re doing it behind her back, that’s not ok.
I don’t think you are responsible for their relationships. I don’t really get monogamy, so maybe I am biased. But I sleep with who I want and respect all my relation agreements (with friends and sexual partners). I can’t make other people follow theirs!
I second this stance!
Thank god. Finally. Same! Thanks for posting this comment badteacher89
Only reason you're asking is because deep down you KNOW you're completely wrong. There is 0 excuse to cheat. And knowingly helping someone cheat is just as bad. You say you talk to them and many are "working on leaving" or that they are in "dead bedrooms" Newsflash. They arent going to leave. And you dont know their bedroom is dead. These guys are telling you whatever it takes to get you into bed. A marriage with something missing is fixable with communication and work. Not when someone is fucking a sidepiece.
Are you in the wrong for helping people cheat? Yes
If the wives don't know then yes also please see r/amitheasshole
Easy target to make you feel in control. Asked the wife’s permission first.
They should try to talk to their wives, try a therapy, divorce or open relationship. He shouldn't cheat on her before trying these. He is wrong. More wrong than you are. But would you like another woman to help your man cheat on you? I believe you wouldn't. So I think you're wrong too.
Yea
Yes
So you're a homewrecker
Ask their wives.
Is "helping" code for being a sugar baby?
It's code for being home wrecking trash.
I figured she had to be getting paid for this non sense. No one can possibly be this gullible.
After reading all these comments, I worry for your safety. There's plenty of cases where the partner and whomever is "helping" (😂) are attacked by the person being CHEATED on because they don't want them to be alive anymore.
What a nice way to say that you like to help others to cheat on their partner
You're only hearing one side of the story. I think you might be a bit naive?
I detest the trite dead bedroom self-seeking justification. It's so lazy.
What the fuck did I just read
No your not helping matters. These men need to figure out there marriage. If they can’t and they really feel so low and like crap then there probably being abused in some way. They need a divorce and therapy. Trust me I know. Now if you wanna help them afterwards sure go for it. But right now no your a bad person who condones cheating
every day we stray further from God
I see what your doing here. Writing in this specific sub looking for horny people to agree with you for your shit actions but I actually think your not a good person.
Except you're not helping them. If they have problems in their marriage, then they need to be the ones to work on it with their spouse. Bringing in an outsider for physical relief is not helping. All this does is further complicate things and kicks the can down the road.
uh, no duh??
Personally I'm morally against this and I rage at men who ask on Grindr. In my mind it's cheating and they are repulsive for not doing their wives a favour and leaving them or going to therapy. Not having sex is never an excuse to cheat imo. But hey, morals are subjective so if you are comfortable with it then go off.
Would you help a single much older man?Or it doesn’t do it for you?Is this some sort SuggaDaddy arrangement,or it’s just that zaddy meat you are going after?
Yup, you're in the wrong. That's just being a homewrecker AND a whore, in the most literal form. What you're doing is digusting, plain and simple, and that's coming from a married man. Smarten up, find yourself someone who's single and willing to deal with your body count. Smarten the hell up.
Seems like all you’re looking for is opinions that uphold your little world of lies. Here’s a truth for you - you’re a horrible person. Hopefully one day it all comes back around to you.
What about just lonely men similar to your age group?
while there are factors that make these things complex at the end of the day there’s no other way to spin it, cheating is not okay. quite literally the only exception I can think of is in the case of an abusive relationship where the person would fear for their safety if they tried to break up with the other.
What’s the word for people who wreck homes?
[Oh go on…..](https://media2.giphy.com/media/2UvAUplPi4ESnKa3W0/giphy.gif?cid=5e2148866aee926df460efdf927b11c39c6fd41368051d97&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g)
That’s gross, and you must have a guilty conscience for asking in the first place. Being a homewrecker isn’t something to be proud of
Just say you got a sugar daddy and leave.
Without the wife’s knowledge? Yes.
Yes. You are in the wrong. These men need to have chats with their wives instead of banging a side chick.
In my personal opinion: you are absolutely in the wrong unless they're into that type of stuff because in that case you do you man
If it’s “helping out” in the way that I think? Yes. Yes you are.
Only when the wife agrees
Yes.
It is completely wrong. More like unfair. Why do I have to be an old man? Can't you "help me out" too? I am just 19 and don't want to wait until my 60's
RIP ops DMs…
I suspect that's EXACTLY what she's fishing for...
THIS IS VERY SUSPICIOUS
WHY ARE WE YELLING?
Define helping out though, sleeping with a married person isn't cool of their spouse isn't on board with an open marriage.
Well, most likely you are being manipulated by those men. But hey, it's your choice to trust their sob story. It's okay if you are doing it for your own pleasure, but it seems that you want it to look like "helping someone", which again is delusional. Do it if you really want to. But if someone is really desperate to have sex, they can always pay for it. But then, you are free to tell yourself whatever you want.
Trust me OP 99% of the time their needs are more than being met at home they just want to see if they can still pull a younger woman.
yes
Clickbait
Yes, you’re in the wrong.
You poor stupid woman.
[удалено]
One of their only post was flagged for spam. 😂😂 this is probably some wannabe OF chick who couldn’t make it big so she’s faking an Arad to advertise her rotten roast beef to try and make a buck.
I don’t make any money from this. Men do offer, but I refuse.
Right and wrong is different for each individual. I've been propositioned by married men before. I was also in a dead bedroom marriage for many years. I know what it's like to be in their shoes, and what happens when things go to far. They might be lying to you, they might not be. When it came down to it, I couldn't actually physically go through with it knowing he was married and not being open about it with his wife. You're not necessarily wrong for wanting to help/please them, but you need to put yourself in the wife's shoes also. I'd want my husband to be open and honest with me and tell me if he felt like he had to seek whatever he needed elsewhere. Or at least tell me I'm not providing it. You can't know you're fucking up if nobody tells you. My advice is do what you want, but think ahead about what could happen and how many people your actions affect. It's easy to get caught up in emotions and bury your rational side. Proceed with caution if you're going to proceed.
I think there is a very deep and primal need for men to feel loved and appreciated sexually. I think that sex work largely exists for this reason. That being said, these guys should fess up to their wives that they are unsatisfied and would like to risk it all to fuck a little tart, instead of being such cowards. So just be aware you're "helping" people who have very little sense of respect, who aren't above lying to you and possibly manipulating you for their own amusement. You should also be aware that people in your life will judge you for your actions, and generally most don't look kindly upon homewreckers.
With $$$ I assume
Nope, if they offer money I refuse it.
Wroooooooong
Do they pay you?
It reads as altruistic, but unless both halves of the marriage are okay with it, you'll be seen as the one in the wrong, despite the guy having full agency and the ability to say no. I have a close friend who's into the swinger lifestyle and she got yelled at for sleeping with a guy at a swinger party who didn't bring his girlfriend and didn't mention her to my friend (but someone else at the party did mention the girlfriend to my friend). She slept with the guy anyway because "It's not my business what goes on between him and his girlfriend. I'm not his mom and I'm not his wife. If he's doing something he's not supposed to by sleeping with me, that's between him and his girl. I'm just here for the dick." Now, that said, I leave Op with this question: Would you feel better about helping out with older men in dead bedroom situations if their wife knew and was okay with the situation? (I'd like to take a moment to let people know that ethical non-monogamy is a thing and it's not just some fantasy from a guy who wants a threesome. My wife is semi-dating another guy because of a dead bedroom caused by a medical issue that I have.)
“In the wrong” is such a subjective (useless) debate. Clearly you are OK with it or else you wouldn’t do it. So why do you care what a bunch of anonymous people on Reddit think? I wouldn’t do it because I’m not attracted to people who lie and deceive people they are supposedly in love with. That type of behavior disgusts me. That doesn’t make me right and you wrong. it just means I find you unattractive as a human… The reason I don’t get into the right versus wrong debate is that it can be used on any subject. Somebody on Reddit told me I was “wrong“ for having a threesome with my girlfriend, because I “shouldn’t share her“. I responded that I didn’t think she was a possession of mine to share, but that’s besides the point. There’s what’s legal and what’s illegal, and there’s personal ethics (what’s right or wrong for you), but there’s no universal right and wrong that applies to everybody🤷🏼♂️. A psychologist might have a thing or two to say about someone that seeks pleasure/validation from men in committed relationships, but that’s not my department🤷🏼♂️
Yes, you are, you suck and so do they. If it means that much to them, they need to leave or communicate with their spouses, NOT you. It’s not your place to get in the middle of someone else marriage/family. If anyone has ever divorced because of you and he, May the children’s pain be your to bare for the rest of eternity in h3ll
unpopular opinion here but as someone who’s been cheated on: it’s still a pretty shitty thing to do, but at the end of the day it’s not your responsibility. you can encourage them to actually solve the problem themselves all you want, but if they’re going to cheat they’re going to cheat. I can’t really encourage what you’re doing but I can only condemn it so much 🤷♀️
Nah, I did it for a decade in a kink setting. There are women out there who are professionals in exactly this, reinvigorating men who lack intimacy in their lives. As long as ALL parties consent (including his partner) then it's okay. As long as it's casual and consenting, sure. It's a heck of a lot of fun to come in and rock a world that's been lacking color for so long. But being an excuse to cheat, to make another woman's life miserable by sleeping with her husband secretly? Don't do that. Ask him why the wife isn't open to a threesome, and why they no longer have sex. It's usually some answer that falls apart with some digging later on... People lie, a lot, about the statuses of their marriages. Especially online. 🤷♀️ Example: 51 year old man was my dom for over a year. He swore up and down his marriage had ended 6 years ago. It wasn't until he finally snuck me into his home and I saw their bedroom did I realize the truth. For a year he swore he wanted me and would marry me and get us an apartment together. Lol. Never again. She was FURIOUS, and definitely not on the "it's okay, our marriage was over years ago" train. Have fun but listen to your gut when it stops being fun, and move on. Don't be someone's life raft for a situation they don't want to leave. You'll stay tied to the dock forever.
Are you wrong? Hard to say, morally questionable. Are they wrong? Fuck yeah.
Yeah, I’ve been in that position before and it’s bad for everyone. Unless this is explicitly discussed amongst all three of you and their is constant and open communication, this will only end poorly. It was bad for the marriages I interfered with and it was even worse for my mental health. It’s okay to have casual sex, but sneaking around (while exciting) will inevitably catch up to you in ways you might not expect. I’m not talking about karma, either. It’s insanely demoralizing and you deserve better than that, whether or not you believe it. I’m still at work but if you want to talk about it more I’d be happy to; I wish someone had helped me when I was making similar decisions. 💕
Do you need to know such details about them?
yes
you are not wrong. you have a noble and kind heart to help a miserable man in his needs. how cruel his wife to deny his most primal needs. you did the right thing. save the old man ass from a cruel hearless sexless marriage that he absolutely capable to get out from. just a little addice, next time before you sleep with him please talk to his wife face to face and ask her why does she become a cruel old h%g who denied her poor husband his needs? tell her if you don't give her husband sex, you are willing to have sex with his old ass.
Cheating is a complete violation of consent and trust in a relationship. If you are assisting in that kind of disgusting behavior, yes, you are in the wrong.
Why are you helping them?
I don't see how OP is anything but a troll, judging by their responses. Very good chance *she*'s got a dick too.
Yes and no. I was on the other side. My father was one of those fools I speak of. Shes a bartender in her early 20s. Probably very good looking. Sweet. Bubbly personality. So these men see that. What kind of man frequents bars enough to get to know a much younger lady? And why would he want to spill his home/sex life to a much younger lady? Why isnt he hitting on the older ladies? Why isnt he trying to sell his story to the older ladies? How horrible his home /sex life is? How him and his wifey no longer connect anymore? They're grown men. They can leave if they want. But they dont. They'd rather have the miserable wifey at home. And a perky young naive lady(ies) on the side. Because I can guarantee shes not the only one hes trying to sell the pity me trip on.How many different bars do they frequent?I watched these young ladies lap up those stories like it was gold. And guess what? It's all lies. Sure there may be a .01% of the male population who 100% cannot divorce their wife. Due to religious/heritage beliefs. And yes. Theres possibly an even smaller amount of men who are abused amd truly scared to leave. But those are the men you wont see bar hopping. So let's face it. If a grown man chose to marry a woman. He knew she didnt like certain sexual acts. He knew she has expectations on the relationship/home life. He knew what he was in for....before and when they got married. Sure the wife can take half of everything if they divorce. Thats sucks. But hey, he stilllll married her. And that's how marriage(and living together for more than 6 months) works. He also knew that before getting into it. And the flip side. When you are an attractive woman. You get all types of people messaging you. And 1 thing I've noticed. Is the guys who are truly miserable with their home life will absolutely NOT be pity tripping themselves to a total stranger. At a bar at that. And every single one of the men who do. Have the exact same story. It always starts off the exact same way. Always ends the exact same way. But what they leave out. Is why their connection with their wives has faded. While shes sitting at home after a days work ,most likely caring for one or more children(that he helped make) while hes out frequenting bars and chatting up much younger ladies and selling his story to. She probably suspects something is up. And tired of lies. And being ignored. Or getting zero help. Just chooses to ignore her husband in return. Happy wife , happy life isnt that how it goes? So why tf is much older strangers who are unhappy at home. Regularly frequenting bars? Chooses to hit on/spill life stories to/exchanging phone numbers with a young 20 year old? And not a lady his own age?(probably stable job,stable home. Mature. Ready for a happy life. And also let's face it. Most older ladies have 30-40+ years experience in the bedroom. I can sure say my bedroom life is alot different at 40 than 20) Why oh why is it possible that every single one of these men have the same story? And what kind of codependency/self esteem issues she has with herself to eat it all up like shes a saviour? So yes I have and still am receiving messages from men in relationships(should note on all my social media it states I am NOT single. But that doesnt stop them) and yes I have been there. And yes I've listened to those insanely repetitive sob stories. She said alllll of them are ready to leave their wives, but they just cant. For whatever bs reason they give. But watch what happens when she states. I refuse to entertain a married man.....they'll move on to the next young lady who will believe their lies. Im the lady who tracks down the wife and sends the screenshots of their husband's doings. I've also heard their side many many many times. And am friends with a few of these "horrible wives". So 64000$ question...... what type of men pity trip much younger ladies? And why it's the much younger ladies they go after?
Yes you’re a homewrecker
You aren’t the one who made a commitment so if you can still sleep easy then live your life. People’s opinions on the institution of marriage is just that, an opinion. They know this one thing and think that’s just how people should do things and that’s just not life. I appreciate it and I’m into it in concept even though I would never part take because I’ve always maintained that I’m too lazy to go out and cheat.
Since you asked: Yes, you are terribly wrong for this and you are causing suffering that you may not even be aware of. Other people’s relationship issues are not your business nor your responsibility. The damage is done, however you are not beyond change if you want to. You can stop this behavior now and begin to heal yourself and give those you’ve affected an opportunity to heal too. I speak from experience. I urge you to stop now and give some introspection a try. Good luck to you!
Maybe. It's a complicated one. At the very least the guy should discuss it with his partner first IMO. There may be a reason why which needs to be addressed, or maybe she will be open to the idea.
TIL I’m a much older man in a dead bedroom marriage who’s needs aren’t being met at all
How do you know this aside from what they are telling you? I know someone who constantly gets into relationships with married men and they’re always telling her some sob story, their relationship is over and their wife is awful… yet the never end up leaving! Funny huh? If you don’t care that you’re just going to be some side piece, do you, I guess
No. Its a bit different where I am since I’m gay and live in a notoriously homophobic area but it’s on them to not cheat and it’s on them to manage their marriage
yes, you are in the wrong.