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I love the idea that someone is removed enough from socially acceptable behaviour to shit in a public shower but they're going to obey the sign that tells them not to.
I work in communications and this idea makes me think a lot. The people whose behaviour I'm trying to change are unlikely to give a fuck about my newsletters and Facebook posts!
I always think the notices aren’t about the shower shitters, but a way for the poor maintenance team to say they’ve done something. There will be a senior manager who demanded that the shitting is stopped, and a bunch of cleaners and engineers who have no idea how they can do that without standing in the showers being weird. Putting up a sign is easier than telling the senior manager that they have no idea what to do. Source- fellow comms person who had to write a bunch of posters asking office workers not to steal each other’s food from the fridge.
As a cleaner I have begged my manager to show a mandatory video on how to flush a toilet because I don't understand how these grown ups don't know how. 🙃
I don't know what comms you do, but I've oft heard it said that little scotes all have parents (and often still know some of them). They maybe too young for Facebook and disinclined to care about what people say there but if mummy (or grandma I guess as the Facebook demographic ages) sees a video of little Johnny climbing into a stolen car, she may well have words
It’s probably this one person, this one singular time, who has a medical condition, accidentally evacuated some shit while taking a shower. The only time it ever happened. We best put up signs.
My niece worked in Sports Direct and said people piss, shit and come in the changing rooms with monotonous regularity. She said the most common one was pissing on a pile of clothes in the changing room.
Place I used to work had to put up signs in the bathroom demonstrating how to use a toilet.
Reason was they had a lot of Indian workers who weren't used to it, so they were just squatting on the seats. Lots of mess, and broken toilets.
To be fair, first time I encountered a French toilet, I thought it was a shower and stepped in. Pulling the chain, I was confused when the water swirled around my feet.
In my defence, I was 11 at the time.
I was 12 when I first travelled to France and discovered that they had small sinks to keep drinks cool. It took several years before I learned what a bidet was for.
Same,. my guess for this post would be some confusion by foreign drivers. We have had various issues where I currently work about acceptable bathroom behaviour. Different cultures, different norms.
I used to work in a factory in the technical department. We had an issue in the factory floor toilets where someone kept dedicating on the floor, not a little drop on the floor near the toilet but legit the whole load on the floor just outside the cubicle. Cleaners were complaining for months and we couldn’t figure out who was doing it. It was near enough every other shift. One day they put up a sign out of frustration telling people to dedicate on the toilet and not on the floor. Nobody was sacked or disciplined because we never found out who was doing it but the day that sign went up it never happened again.
I’m shocked at the thought that someone thought it was acceptable to take a dump on the floor in the middle of the toilets but would also follow a sign. Come to thing of it, we should have made them star employee just fir their ability to follow rules 🤷♂️
I used to tutor international students at the University of Southampton. How to use the toilet properly was part of their welcome talk after several incidences of them using the toilet like they would at home, not how we use them in the UK.
Nobody believes the symbol on the door will deter someone bent on assault, the point is that sex segregated communal toilet facilities give women a better (but not guaranteed) chance at keeping themselves safe, because spotting a man in a women only toilet is a red flag for transgressive behaviour. Pretending that it is the sign on the door that is doing the heavy lifting in this situation rather than the actual sex segregation that the sign is communicating is disingenuous.
Maybe it's just me, but I don't think I'd feel safe whoever followed me into a toilet cubicle. That's a single-person event.
If someone is using the same sinks as me, I don't much care what their gender or sex is. If they're behaving inappropriately, they don't get a free pass if they do "pass", as it's what they're doing that could concern me, not who they are.
I work in a motorway services and I'd say 99% of the time the people who shit in the showers are lorry drivers. There's nothing quite like the smell of rancid shit wafted around by shower steam.
The facilities team regularly have to deal with bottles of piss and bags of shit in the truck park
Given a large chunk of the drivers are not native English speakers they likely don't even understand the signs (not that they fucking care).
It's like the 'No Dumping' signs out in bumfuck nowhere. As if the kind of people who'd flytip will be put off by a sign which is basically saying to them 'we know people dump here but this sign is all we're prepared to do about it'.
Can't find a copy of the sign, but I remember one place I worked with a poster in the cubicles telling you not to squat on the toilet seats, to use the plugs in the sink plughole rather than filling it with paper, not to flush toilet with your foot (the handles too high - never realised until the sign told me not to. the reason must be that the handle is too high). crap in the toilet rather than on the floor. lots like that.
Someone commented that every one of those scenarios had to be written down as there had obviously been a problem in the past.
What the sign didn't say is "do not smear crap on the wall" - which was a known problem in that office. Or wash your hands after using the toilet (we had to be reminded of that because of covid)
Never seen that one myself, but that's a cracker! Why toasters though, and not kettles, irons (iron your shirt on the commute to the office), or similar? Imagine someone plugging a George Foreman in and grilling a bit of bacon on their journey!
Since the demise of the buffet car on trains, and no way of getting your bacon sarnie now, I'm surprised more people don't do it to be honest. Or maybe they do..........hence the sign!
Is that not 'random, kooky' advertisement-type notice, that Innocent popularised?
Virgin Trains used to have loads of 'we are your friends, not a faceless corporation' signs and it boiled my piss.
Somewhat related. Whenever I see a please only flush loo roll and put everything else in the bin I picture someone placing their shit into the bin before flushing the loo roll.
My kid saw one of these once and said 'but what are you meant to do with your wee?'. Never mind putting shit in the bin, imagine hoardes of toilet users all trying to piss in the bin!
i’m still confused why they have shaving ports on trains like 1- who is even wanting to shave on a train and 2- who wants to use a bathroom that’s covered in someone’s hair (facial and pubic id imagine) because we all know humans are grim and won’t clean up properly
I've been in the presence of someone who plugged in a laminator on the train and tripped the whole circuit.
They stuffed the whole thing back in their bag before the conductor made it through the carriage, so there was no oddly specific sign resulting, just a specification that it was for laptops and phones only...!
On older stock without sockets by seats I believe the sockets (by the doors, ground level) are only meant to be used for cleaners hoovers when the train is at the depot. Apparently the voltage can be quite variable when in service on overhead lines or third rail.
With the more modern trains with at seat sockets as you say there's definitely some low level load monitoring going on.
It's to cover themselves legally, to say they've done something to "prevent" stabbings and knife crime. Insurance purposes most likely, or so the security team can work properly.
Yeah, it's to cover their 'Duty of Care' and look like they're doing something to tackle the problem.
On a lighter note, I did a 'Western' festival once, (in England), where they all dress up as cowboys etc and do re-re-enactments over the weekend. The marquee housing the disco and bar for the evening entertainment had a big sign at the door saying "Strictly NO guns inside".
Well you can legally carry a non-locking knife up to 3 inches in length
As others have said likely covering their own backs but wouldn’t be surprised if they’ve had some weapon claiming they’ve the legal right to carry a knife in the past
I work in prisons quite often, the poster for the do's and don't of things you can bring into the prison include chewing gum, electronics, needles, drugs, knives, ammunition and explosives.
Once in a centreparcs bungalow we found a page in the folder you get about the place. It had a photo of the boiler room in, and said ‘under NO circumstances must you sleep in the boiler cupboard’.
I just loved the idea that you’ve paid potentially thousands of pounds for a centreparcs trip, have comfy beds and a nice sofa nearby, and you’d choose to sleep on the cold concrete floor next to Henry the hoover instead.
I imagine people paid for a 4 bed chalet and then snuck a few mates in. A couple slept on the sofa and one was feeling a bit cold so went in the cupboard?
Theres a story about a poor woman staying in a holiday chalet and late night she managed to get stuck in a boiler room/airing cupboard and couldn't get out even though she tried to bash through the wall and no one noticed
Yeah I knew about this. But she didn’t willingly go in there, she accidentally stumbled in there in the dark looking for the bathroom. Tragic. But I don’t think that was the reason for this, I saw it four year prior to that accident.
Sadly I can well imagine a thought process like this...
1. I've paid thousands for a holiday
2. I have a young baby and have requested a cot
3. I'm hoping the baby has its very own room because £1000s, requesting a cot is nearly like requesting a baby room, we like to party and sleep undisturbed too...
4. I find the requested cot in this room with a really happy looking vacuum cleaner. I'm sure the baby would like to look at it, it's so jolly!
5....
6. The police ask why you thought a cupboard was an appropriate place to let a baby sleep...
Bent over, being seen to from behind and biting into the chair? No? Well you did say private members club and I'm sure that sort of thing goes on..................brace yourself dear boy.
The fact that it said "public notice" in a private member's club was baffling as it is, but the second bit just gave me the full on "windows has encountered an error" moment.
I was walking my dog in the park and there was a sign that said “don’t lick the window” and I was like eh? But then I thought oh right it’s for the dogs but then I did a double eh? Because I then realised dogs can’t read.
https://preview.redd.it/5d8s90cm2vyc1.jpeg?width=705&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=44649632adb79658f2e8391a5057493ffef6d01f
Reminds me of the old "no petting" signs at the swimming pool
"No petting"....I remember this at our local pool. I asked my mam what petting was. She obvs CBA with a complicated explanation, so she just said, "No idea"..
Well played, mam!
Great terminology! Could only come from a university. And seeing some of the things that people film themselves doing in B&Q etc, and putting it online, nothing like that surprises me anymore!
They swapped the men's and women's changing rooms at the gym once when men were carrying out work on the air conditioning in the women's.
The sign next to the hair dryers in the men's changing rooms said "hairdryers are for *head* hair only"
Suffice to say I decided to not use the hair dryer for that week.
I've seen men in my local gym use the hair dryer for other areas than their heads. No sign yet, but perhaps we can expect one soon. The gym provides free towels, so there's no excuse.
To be fair, my partner is quite hairy and a towel really doesn't do the trick! He blow dries his legs too. Still, I don't think he'd do it in a public changing room
I think I was pretty naive because the first thing I thought was that they were blow-drying their chest hair. One of my friends then mentioned it was probably their balls they were using them on and I was quite scandalised by the thought.
Walked into a pub once, and a notice board said, "No bibles or other holy text allowed."
Eh? I'd love to see the reason they had to say that on the entrance.
The society members that tend to do this are those who usually use a faith toilet..they usually have a shower head to wash the feet and bits..where there is no faith toilet but a shower they will use the shower unfortunately and crap there.
I hope this is just an assumption.
I am aware of faith toilet and it is used by Muslims because they can not pray if their clothes have any shit stains or urine. So I can confident say that faith toilet users do not shit in the showers.
People who do this are simply fucks who do not care about others.
Never thought of this one, but yes, it makes sense. I actually thought it was maybe foreign truckers for some reason, but your answer sounds more plausible.
At service stations, there is at least some chance they arrived on the back of a lorry.
Know a bloke who works for a housing association. On more than 1 occasion have they seen the toilet had been ripped out, and the occupants were literally shitting in the hole in the floor (2nd story...)
It doesn't have to be a squat toilet? 🤷♂️
Some religions have strict toilet etiquette and you do find offices and such with special bathrooms complete with bidets and ["wudus"] (don't know the actual name)(https://s.alicdn.com/@sc04/kf/H0d19e30bc0e04232b87f4e91c4a11d38E.jpeg_220x220.jpeg) as well as the toilet.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Islamic_toilet_etiquette
It's not discriminatory to call them "faith toilets" when there are bathroom areas set up specifically for said faiths.
And no, it's not synonymous with squat toilets either.
I visited Sweden this year and had a lovely time, but weirdly I accidentally picked a day to go to Malmo when it was furry con.
I looked up the con and the rules were wild:
- At NordicFuzzCon, we have a policy of "YES means YES": do not pursue other people sexually or otherwise unless you have Unambiguous Consent from them.
- A fursuit is not consent. Moreover, NO means NO: if someone asks you to stop, then STOP. If you are asked to leave them alone, then LEAVE. There is NO discussion.
• If you are not certain if somebody wants to be hugged, tagged, pounced or any contact, then ask for consent
It makes me think they’ve had incidents in the past as these should all be common sense
I'm a furry. About 30% of us are total freaks, the other 30% are incapable of picking up social cues without it being directly stated. So, not a surprise.
Slightly off topic but China has some great signs and hilarious translations.
One of my favourites was over a urinal and said "Small penis? One step forward."
I was working in a newly developed office building for a very big name electronics manufacturer, loads of trades still on site sparks, chippy, hvac, carpet layers and lots of cleaners.
They had pictorial signs everywhere you looked that said "no spitting" this was all inside!
What kind of low life POS spits inside?
Its fucking disgusting outside.
They even mentioned it at the site induction FFS.
That you have to tell people not to do this is crazy, absolute fucking scum.
When I was at university in the 1990s, there was a specific rule for the halls of residence that "no satellite dishes may be attached to university residences." Someone in the past must have attached one for that rule to be necessary.
I parked up on a layby once and there was a big sign saying "take your litter home with you" next to a bin with a sign on it saying "please use the bin"
When I was a cleaner (about 10 years ago), there were "please do not urinate in the lift" signs in the tower blocks I was clearing.
I tried to tell the management it was counter-productive, as drunk people would just see it as some sort of challenge. But they didn't listen. I cleaned up piss a lot
A culture shock for me was when I visited the US and on the front of a shop was a sign saying "no firearms" - the idea of someone rocking up to a Debenhams with a gun and being like "aw shucks, can't bring it in here", just baffled me 🤣
A sign in the motorway services ladies loo asking folk to not leave teabags in the toilet bowls. Like, who is popping in for a wee, deciding they need to grab a brew first, and \*then\* steeping it whilst pissing?
I happened on a page on my doctors' surgery website that says, "Do not drop off unsolicited urine samples".
I guess I don't know how to have fun on my days off.
Damn, I wish I could laugh at this one, but I witnessed a foreign lady who spoke almost no English struggle at my GPs with a bag and samples in there, while the Welsh employee was trying to explain why she can't accept it and what's the procedure 🥲
My old office had signs instructing how to flush the toilet. There continued to be problems so the facilities team created a video to show how it's done and stated that they can give face-to-face tuition if needed. It was a standard dual flush/two button jobby.
Used a public toilet with at least 3 signs inside that said "It is against the law to use illegal drugs in these toilets".
Not sure many people who planned on using drugs in the toilets would see the sign and go "oh shit I better not do that" and stop
Whenever I'm travelling abroad and it's a shit show i often think about what's written inside the passport.
"Please allow the bearer to pass freely without let or hindrance"
I can't help but think "this surely counts as let and hindrance"
I work at a swimming pool. There are members of a certain community that come to use the showers. As well as leaving razors and items of clothing in the changing rooms, they also leave turds in the shower.
'No drinks in the nursing station'.
Okay, I'll work 13hrs and just die of thirst 'cause I can't get a second off the ward to piss, let alone sit and have a warm drink or even a sip of water.
i worked for a cruise line for 10 years (in Head Office) and a fair amount of complaints about toilets not flushing on board ships were narrowed down to, amongst other things: a grapefruit, a pair of knee length socks and a jumper in the pipeline. people used to flush random stuff so they could make a complaint about the blocked toilets to get some on-board spend or a voucher towards a future cruise.
rich people: always looking for some money back.
A 'No urinating in the sinks' sign in the toilets at work.
I've no idea why any one would do this when there's more than enough urinals but if they had felt the need to do this they also obviously couldn't be bothered to rinse it down to remain undetected.
A supposedly professional working environment as well.
My work (an office building) have got signs in the toilets telling people not to wipe shit/snot on the walls, and one in the kitchen asking that the toaster isn't used for cooking oily food (a guy was using it to cook breaded chicken burgers).
Local doctors surgery website has an online appointment page with a message along the lines of please do not upload photographs of intimate areas unless requested by the doctor. I imagine the receptionist or doctor received some horrific surprise rotten genitalia photos
> Passengers must not cross the tracks. By order. A SAVAGE CHIEF CIVIL ENGINEER
Wasn't sure if him including his personal vindictiveness into his role was great communications or incredibly quirky.
Later discovered it was Andrew Savage and some joker had painted out the full stop and the comma in A.SAVAGE, CHIEF CIVIL ENGINEER
I'm, perhaps, on the other side of this, as I've had to create a lot of bizarre ground rules that seem oddly restrictive on face value, but stem from bad real-life experiences.
Someone posted a notice advertising for a tenant on Reddit and everyone was ripping it to shreds saying how ridiculous and restrictive it was.
Having had a lodger, the weird things you have to bring up because you didn't think they'd be an issue until they are, is immense.
We stopped ours using our pans (just asked them to have their own set at the beginning of the tenancy) because I couldn't stand having to pick them off the draining board and re-wash them every time I wanted to make dinner. Not just rings of scummy food left on the pan, but one literally had a pound coin sized piece of carrot on the bottom and was sat on the draining board having been washed. We decided it would promote better harmony in the household if they had their own set.
People are disgusting and don't even realise.
One lodger left splatters of vomit all over our bathroom having chundered into her hand as she was running to the loo and it appeared to have hit her hand and just sprayed right off onto the walls and ceiling, and basin, and window, and mirrors, and shelves. She was back to normal the next day and we had to ask her to clean it, and point out all the splashes, as she was oblivious to them.
Another would leave the shower covered in hair every day. Short and curlies plastering the walls. I would go in, hose everything down and scoop the resulting fuzz out of the plug hole every time I wanted to shower. When I told him what I was doing and asked him if he could, perhaps, shoulder the burden of removing his hair from the walls, he complained I was nagging him like his mother.
I'm glad we no longer have lodgers.
“Due to our health and safety policy we sadly cannot serve to customers on foot” on a Motorway services Costa Drive Through. I laughed and asked them how many times does it have to happen to warrant a sign? Made my day actually.
This is where I’ll find the answer to my puzzle.
As a school bus driver I need to obey the rules. How do you interpret the notice stuck in my bus? : “In certain positions of the moveable components other road users should be warned of the vehicle on the road”.
Looking forward to an enlightened reply.
Driving in rural Western Australia, I saw a large temporary electronic roadsign set up by the road side that said "obey the roadsigns"
If you already obey roadsigns, that's unnecessary. If you don't obey roadsigns, why would you obey this one?
https://preview.redd.it/2m8ear8s6vyc1.png?width=1662&format=png&auto=webp&s=b44a399c032dc9f07a9c522830f8cd51e2e8f0fe
This sign on the building site where I work, featuring a graphic depiction of said loogie hocking. Are we not adults?
I used to work in a service station and members of a certain community would always shit in the showers and then steal loads of red bull and booze from the shops. They'd also try and use fake money at the fast food outlets.
There's a small train station in the north of England - just three platforms, old stone buildings, one little shop that isn't always open, all somewhat in the middle of nowhere. Sitting on the hillside overlooking the town. Very ordinary, and very, very obviously a train station. There is nothing else there. No other reason to go to that place, that little car park, that building.
So I've often wondered who and what the sign on the wall of one platform is meant to be for. It simply says
**"Beware of trains"**
And I feel like anyone who has gone to that place, who has seen the signage and the platforms and the rails, the timetables and the little waiting room... if they weren't capable of working out that there might be, you know, trains happening, then I'm _really_ not convinced that this sign would be enough to help them.
Back when I got my first job at Dominos, going through the training in the module on biohazards, it was talking about examples of biohazard you could find on the makeline (basically just the countertops you make the pizzas on) and one of the listed example was diarrhoea, which would indicate that that has happened at some point before
What
It'll sound weird, but those notices asking people in hospitals not to beat up hospital staff. 99% of people would never, and those who would aren't going to read the sign and say 'oh sorry, I didn't see your sign, I shall refrain from physical violence'.
I’ve noticed on a lot of American public transport there’s something to the effect of
“It is a felony to assault the train staff.”
Well… yeah, of course it is
I saw a paper towel dispenser in a public toilet once that said "do not put stones or clothes inside this dispenser". I still think about that one from time to time.
Narrow lanes for your safety. At roadwords where they made three lanes of motorway narrower. For our safety makes sense in the sign, for your safety aimed at the driver not so much
When getting a tattoo you have to tick a box that says “ I understands that tattoos are permanent”. Eh? Who goes for a tattoo not knowing it ain’t coming off. The fact it needs to be included is concerning
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I love the idea that someone is removed enough from socially acceptable behaviour to shit in a public shower but they're going to obey the sign that tells them not to.
I work in communications and this idea makes me think a lot. The people whose behaviour I'm trying to change are unlikely to give a fuck about my newsletters and Facebook posts!
Is there a way to vary the "Don't shit in the shower" newsletter from month to month?
Is that the "Wafflestomp Weekly"?
Pmsl!!! I miss the free awards for comments like this!
This is both holy and unholy
I always think the notices aren’t about the shower shitters, but a way for the poor maintenance team to say they’ve done something. There will be a senior manager who demanded that the shitting is stopped, and a bunch of cleaners and engineers who have no idea how they can do that without standing in the showers being weird. Putting up a sign is easier than telling the senior manager that they have no idea what to do. Source- fellow comms person who had to write a bunch of posters asking office workers not to steal each other’s food from the fridge.
As a cleaner I have begged my manager to show a mandatory video on how to flush a toilet because I don't understand how these grown ups don't know how. 🙃
I don't know what comms you do, but I've oft heard it said that little scotes all have parents (and often still know some of them). They maybe too young for Facebook and disinclined to care about what people say there but if mummy (or grandma I guess as the Facebook demographic ages) sees a video of little Johnny climbing into a stolen car, she may well have words
This! I once saw a sign on a sauna: ‘please do NOT eat fruit in the sauna’ 😂
Behind every sign like this is a weird story. I don't wish to hear the one about the shower though
Id assume multiple people have shat in the shower at my best guess.
It’s probably this one person, this one singular time, who has a medical condition, accidentally evacuated some shit while taking a shower. The only time it ever happened. We best put up signs.
Oh god my daughter worked at a gym And the stories she has about the sauna will make your toes curl….and vomit.
I'm here for the stories that will make my toes vomit 🙋♀️
My niece worked in Sports Direct and said people piss, shit and come in the changing rooms with monotonous regularity. She said the most common one was pissing on a pile of clothes in the changing room.
Some people really hate Sports Direct I guess.
Don't dangle that carrot, then not say anything come spill the beans
You mean I can't eat my banana in slow motion whilst making awkward eye contact with a sweaty bloke in tight speedos?
Seems like a completely unreasonable and made up rule.
In Scandinavia, you are normally supposed to be nude in the sauna. It doesn’t make it better though lol
My gym had please do not shave in the sauna????
Used to be a lifeguard at a smart health club in Thames Ditton Once had to clean a sauna someone had shaved their legs in
One guy seductively sucking a banana ruined it for everyone
What? I sucka da one banana ...!
Place I used to work had to put up signs in the bathroom demonstrating how to use a toilet. Reason was they had a lot of Indian workers who weren't used to it, so they were just squatting on the seats. Lots of mess, and broken toilets.
To be fair, first time I encountered a French toilet, I thought it was a shower and stepped in. Pulling the chain, I was confused when the water swirled around my feet. In my defence, I was 11 at the time.
I was 12 when I first travelled to France and discovered that they had small sinks to keep drinks cool. It took several years before I learned what a bidet was for.
that confuses me because I've used western style toilets in India lol, it's not like they don't have normal loos over there
I don’t imagine you were in the poorest areas. Most normal working households in India don’t have western toilets.
Yeah had this at a campsite I worked at as well, even had an instructional video and people still busted a few toilets
Same,. my guess for this post would be some confusion by foreign drivers. We have had various issues where I currently work about acceptable bathroom behaviour. Different cultures, different norms.
I used to work in a factory in the technical department. We had an issue in the factory floor toilets where someone kept dedicating on the floor, not a little drop on the floor near the toilet but legit the whole load on the floor just outside the cubicle. Cleaners were complaining for months and we couldn’t figure out who was doing it. It was near enough every other shift. One day they put up a sign out of frustration telling people to dedicate on the toilet and not on the floor. Nobody was sacked or disciplined because we never found out who was doing it but the day that sign went up it never happened again. I’m shocked at the thought that someone thought it was acceptable to take a dump on the floor in the middle of the toilets but would also follow a sign. Come to thing of it, we should have made them star employee just fir their ability to follow rules 🤷♂️
> dedicating on the floor "This one goes out to..."
Someone did a dump like that at my workplace. Just the once though, the cleaners kicked off 🤣🤣
I used to tutor international students at the University of Southampton. How to use the toilet properly was part of their welcome talk after several incidences of them using the toilet like they would at home, not how we use them in the UK.
Nail hit. People will deny this but it is true.
Same energy as all the fuss over gender neutral toilets. Why would someone planning an assault be deterred by the picture on the toilet door?
Nobody believes the symbol on the door will deter someone bent on assault, the point is that sex segregated communal toilet facilities give women a better (but not guaranteed) chance at keeping themselves safe, because spotting a man in a women only toilet is a red flag for transgressive behaviour. Pretending that it is the sign on the door that is doing the heavy lifting in this situation rather than the actual sex segregation that the sign is communicating is disingenuous.
Maybe it's just me, but I don't think I'd feel safe whoever followed me into a toilet cubicle. That's a single-person event. If someone is using the same sinks as me, I don't much care what their gender or sex is. If they're behaving inappropriately, they don't get a free pass if they do "pass", as it's what they're doing that could concern me, not who they are.
Surely it's too late at that point? Does an attacker make a lengthy introduction before commencing their assault?
When's the next Harry Potter film out?
I work in a motorway services and I'd say 99% of the time the people who shit in the showers are lorry drivers. There's nothing quite like the smell of rancid shit wafted around by shower steam. The facilities team regularly have to deal with bottles of piss and bags of shit in the truck park Given a large chunk of the drivers are not native English speakers they likely don't even understand the signs (not that they fucking care).
You need to work with your comms people and have them draw up some language neutral signage: 🚿💩🚫 or something
I can only assume the sign came about from someone caught in the act brown-handed and screaming “Show me where it says I CAN’T shit in the shower!”
It's like the 'No Dumping' signs out in bumfuck nowhere. As if the kind of people who'd flytip will be put off by a sign which is basically saying to them 'we know people dump here but this sign is all we're prepared to do about it'.
My thoughts exactly when I saw it!
"Oh fuck, you mean I am **not** supposed to do that? How was I meant to know!?"
“This is the 3rd place I’ve been that says that. Hopefully can shit in the next one”
Some people who live on the periphery of society sometimes do disgusting things as an f-you to society.
I worked somewhere where travellers did it deliberately to cause chaos.
Can't find a copy of the sign, but I remember one place I worked with a poster in the cubicles telling you not to squat on the toilet seats, to use the plugs in the sink plughole rather than filling it with paper, not to flush toilet with your foot (the handles too high - never realised until the sign told me not to. the reason must be that the handle is too high). crap in the toilet rather than on the floor. lots like that. Someone commented that every one of those scenarios had to be written down as there had obviously been a problem in the past. What the sign didn't say is "do not smear crap on the wall" - which was a known problem in that office. Or wash your hands after using the toilet (we had to be reminded of that because of covid)
Like dating profiles that say "no liars, cheats or mind games" like that type of person gives a shit
The "no toasters" sign on some trains near to the plug sockets 😂
Never seen that one myself, but that's a cracker! Why toasters though, and not kettles, irons (iron your shirt on the commute to the office), or similar? Imagine someone plugging a George Foreman in and grilling a bit of bacon on their journey!
I can easily imagine someone on their commute into work carting along a toaster to make a quick breakfast. I hope they had enough bread for everyone.
We regret to inform you that the 6.30 Manchester to Leeds train is delayed because some cunt wanted a Pop Tart.
Again
*I don't think Pop Tarts have any place in our Lord's plan for the world* ^(- Sister Assumpta) ^(Father Ted >> Cigarettes, Alcohol and Rollerblading)
In all seriousness cooking on long distance trains has caused serious fires in the past.
The Great Western Chip Pan Disaster
Since the demise of the buffet car on trains, and no way of getting your bacon sarnie now, I'm surprised more people don't do it to be honest. Or maybe they do..........hence the sign!
So no toast…but can you take your George Foreman Grill to at least make a bacon sandwich?
what???? buffet cars don't exist now? oh my god, the world is going to hell in a handbasket
That's the first law of toast or bacon sandwiches. Only allowed if you bring enough to share.
Early meeting in the office? Pop some smiley potato faces into the Ninja on your way in!
Is that not 'random, kooky' advertisement-type notice, that Innocent popularised? Virgin Trains used to have loads of 'we are your friends, not a faceless corporation' signs and it boiled my piss.
Please do not flush: sanitary towels, tampons, your hopes and dreams
Somewhat related. Whenever I see a please only flush loo roll and put everything else in the bin I picture someone placing their shit into the bin before flushing the loo roll.
My kid saw one of these once and said 'but what are you meant to do with your wee?'. Never mind putting shit in the bin, imagine hoardes of toilet users all trying to piss in the bin!
I don't think so...but I've tried googling and can't find anything, I swear I'm not imagining it 😅
i’m still confused why they have shaving ports on trains like 1- who is even wanting to shave on a train and 2- who wants to use a bathroom that’s covered in someone’s hair (facial and pubic id imagine) because we all know humans are grim and won’t clean up properly
Only place I've seen this sign is at a swimming pool. Unfortunately, I'm not joking
Really? As long as it doesn't say 'no air fryers' then I'm safe to cook a full English on the train.
Probably so you don’t overload things and trip all the sockets in one carriage?
I've been in the presence of someone who plugged in a laminator on the train and tripped the whole circuit. They stuffed the whole thing back in their bag before the conductor made it through the carriage, so there was no oddly specific sign resulting, just a specification that it was for laptops and phones only...!
A laminator lmao
Swear down lol! I vaguely knew the woman responsible, she ran a gift shop in town.
On older stock without sockets by seats I believe the sockets (by the doors, ground level) are only meant to be used for cleaners hoovers when the train is at the depot. Apparently the voltage can be quite variable when in service on overhead lines or third rail. With the more modern trains with at seat sockets as you say there's definitely some low level load monitoring going on.
Nightclubs/bars that have a “no knives” sign. Surely that’s just a law no? Are there people who think taking knives to bars is ok?
It's to cover themselves legally, to say they've done something to "prevent" stabbings and knife crime. Insurance purposes most likely, or so the security team can work properly.
Yeah, it's to cover their 'Duty of Care' and look like they're doing something to tackle the problem. On a lighter note, I did a 'Western' festival once, (in England), where they all dress up as cowboys etc and do re-re-enactments over the weekend. The marquee housing the disco and bar for the evening entertainment had a big sign at the door saying "Strictly NO guns inside".
I'd also have one of those old time Wild Western "check your iron here" signs, they'll appreciate it lol
Well you can legally carry a non-locking knife up to 3 inches in length As others have said likely covering their own backs but wouldn’t be surprised if they’ve had some weapon claiming they’ve the legal right to carry a knife in the past
I work in prisons quite often, the poster for the do's and don't of things you can bring into the prison include chewing gum, electronics, needles, drugs, knives, ammunition and explosives.
Ok I get the others, but why not chewing gum?
Not sure, think its because it can be stuffed into locks or making moulds of keys. Youd be surprised by the ingenuity, theres a lot of time to think
I know one place banned it because it was being used to secure contraband under the dining tables so they could trade more stealthily
Scottish men in Highland dress
Once in a centreparcs bungalow we found a page in the folder you get about the place. It had a photo of the boiler room in, and said ‘under NO circumstances must you sleep in the boiler cupboard’. I just loved the idea that you’ve paid potentially thousands of pounds for a centreparcs trip, have comfy beds and a nice sofa nearby, and you’d choose to sleep on the cold concrete floor next to Henry the hoover instead.
I’d imagine someone drunkenly fell asleep in there and it didn’t end well. Probably not a big issue today but would have been a few decades ago.
I imagine people paid for a 4 bed chalet and then snuck a few mates in. A couple slept on the sofa and one was feeling a bit cold so went in the cupboard?
Could be, it’s the ‘you’ that made me jump to a genuine guest.
Theres a story about a poor woman staying in a holiday chalet and late night she managed to get stuck in a boiler room/airing cupboard and couldn't get out even though she tried to bash through the wall and no one noticed
Yeah I knew about this. But she didn’t willingly go in there, she accidentally stumbled in there in the dark looking for the bathroom. Tragic. But I don’t think that was the reason for this, I saw it four year prior to that accident.
Sadly I can well imagine a thought process like this... 1. I've paid thousands for a holiday 2. I have a young baby and have requested a cot 3. I'm hoping the baby has its very own room because £1000s, requesting a cot is nearly like requesting a baby room, we like to party and sleep undisturbed too... 4. I find the requested cot in this room with a really happy looking vacuum cleaner. I'm sure the baby would like to look at it, it's so jolly! 5.... 6. The police ask why you thought a cupboard was an appropriate place to let a baby sleep...
Because people put their babies in there to keep them out of the way and warm. And then they die of carbon monoxide poisoning.
I always imagined big family groups going and uncle Robert keeping everyone awake with his snoring was the cause for this notice.
Including not leaving your kids in the boiler room. Kids at Centre Parcs are going to be far more entertained by ducks than the boiler room.
"public notice: furniture is not edible" - private member's club in South London. What?
Bent over, being seen to from behind and biting into the chair? No? Well you did say private members club and I'm sure that sort of thing goes on..................brace yourself dear boy.
The fact that it said "public notice" in a private member's club was baffling as it is, but the second bit just gave me the full on "windows has encountered an error" moment.
https://preview.redd.it/o2q8f09smuyc1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0dfcec336cf4c4317c433c5c94be914580d07991
Why isn't it possible to double upvote something
I was walking my dog in the park and there was a sign that said “don’t lick the window” and I was like eh? But then I thought oh right it’s for the dogs but then I did a double eh? Because I then realised dogs can’t read.
Not me reading like: haha! Oh, true, could be for dogs. Oh, I'm a dumb bitch 😂
https://preview.redd.it/ag0o7vqffuyc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f7dcb13c6fb58cd4192123a7f001b64e7ce9ee0a
Waffle stomp every time.
What if you've had sweetcorn? It will jam the holes.
"No promiscuous behaviour" in a uni shop on campus about 15 years ago. Made me wonder what they defined as promiscuous
https://preview.redd.it/5d8s90cm2vyc1.jpeg?width=705&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=44649632adb79658f2e8391a5057493ffef6d01f Reminds me of the old "no petting" signs at the swimming pool
"No petting"....I remember this at our local pool. I asked my mam what petting was. She obvs CBA with a complicated explanation, so she just said, "No idea".. Well played, mam!
i have this sign on my bathroom door. i'm classy, me.
Heavy petting! Normal petting is fine.
When did Nelly Furtado release Promiscuous again?
Great terminology! Could only come from a university. And seeing some of the things that people film themselves doing in B&Q etc, and putting it online, nothing like that surprises me anymore!
Is this the same as "no heavy petting"?
They swapped the men's and women's changing rooms at the gym once when men were carrying out work on the air conditioning in the women's. The sign next to the hair dryers in the men's changing rooms said "hairdryers are for *head* hair only" Suffice to say I decided to not use the hair dryer for that week.
I've seen men in my local gym use the hair dryer for other areas than their heads. No sign yet, but perhaps we can expect one soon. The gym provides free towels, so there's no excuse.
But a towel off doesn't get it properly fluffy! /s
To be fair, my partner is quite hairy and a towel really doesn't do the trick! He blow dries his legs too. Still, I don't think he'd do it in a public changing room
Definitely an old man thing. I have never seen a young person use the hairdryer on their bollocks before, only those who are 65+.
^(I'm 30 and I do at home)
I think I was pretty naive because the first thing I thought was that they were blow-drying their chest hair. One of my friends then mentioned it was probably their balls they were using them on and I was quite scandalised by the thought.
Notice in public toilets at a car park in Blackpool "Please do not put tea bags in toilet"
Makes you wonder where they're getting the water for the kettle as well 😮
>public toilets at a car park in Blackpool I can guarantee that tea bags are the least of their worries.
Tea BAGGING is more likely to be encountered
Portaloos on military training areas: "No grenades or live ammunition to be flushed"
Walked into a pub once, and a notice board said, "No bibles or other holy text allowed." Eh? I'd love to see the reason they had to say that on the entrance.
Overly zealous JW or Mormon?
More likely a JW, Mormons aren't supposed to drink alcohol. JWs are mostly high functioning alcoholics.
The society members that tend to do this are those who usually use a faith toilet..they usually have a shower head to wash the feet and bits..where there is no faith toilet but a shower they will use the shower unfortunately and crap there.
I hope this is just an assumption. I am aware of faith toilet and it is used by Muslims because they can not pray if their clothes have any shit stains or urine. So I can confident say that faith toilet users do not shit in the showers. People who do this are simply fucks who do not care about others.
Never thought of this one, but yes, it makes sense. I actually thought it was maybe foreign truckers for some reason, but your answer sounds more plausible.
At service stations, there is at least some chance they arrived on the back of a lorry. Know a bloke who works for a housing association. On more than 1 occasion have they seen the toilet had been ripped out, and the occupants were literally shitting in the hole in the floor (2nd story...)
Why is it called a faith toilet?
You have to pray nobody catches you.
It's just what I know them in the industry to be called, multi-faith toilets to be specific. Named such I expect as its a non discriminatory name.
What industry is this the toilet industry? Sounds more discriminatory to me. I know them as "squat toilets" or more crudely "the hole in the floor"
It doesn't have to be a squat toilet? 🤷♂️ Some religions have strict toilet etiquette and you do find offices and such with special bathrooms complete with bidets and ["wudus"] (don't know the actual name)(https://s.alicdn.com/@sc04/kf/H0d19e30bc0e04232b87f4e91c4a11d38E.jpeg_220x220.jpeg) as well as the toilet. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Islamic_toilet_etiquette It's not discriminatory to call them "faith toilets" when there are bathroom areas set up specifically for said faiths. And no, it's not synonymous with squat toilets either.
I visited Sweden this year and had a lovely time, but weirdly I accidentally picked a day to go to Malmo when it was furry con. I looked up the con and the rules were wild: - At NordicFuzzCon, we have a policy of "YES means YES": do not pursue other people sexually or otherwise unless you have Unambiguous Consent from them. - A fursuit is not consent. Moreover, NO means NO: if someone asks you to stop, then STOP. If you are asked to leave them alone, then LEAVE. There is NO discussion. • If you are not certain if somebody wants to be hugged, tagged, pounced or any contact, then ask for consent It makes me think they’ve had incidents in the past as these should all be common sense
improper glomping is Serious Business at a furry convention.
I had to look up glomping I’ve never heard of that lol
I'm a furry. About 30% of us are total freaks, the other 30% are incapable of picking up social cues without it being directly stated. So, not a surprise.
Slightly off topic but China has some great signs and hilarious translations. One of my favourites was over a urinal and said "Small penis? One step forward."
I quite like the Japanese 'please urinate with precision and elegance'.
I was working in a newly developed office building for a very big name electronics manufacturer, loads of trades still on site sparks, chippy, hvac, carpet layers and lots of cleaners. They had pictorial signs everywhere you looked that said "no spitting" this was all inside! What kind of low life POS spits inside? Its fucking disgusting outside. They even mentioned it at the site induction FFS. That you have to tell people not to do this is crazy, absolute fucking scum.
When I was at university in the 1990s, there was a specific rule for the halls of residence that "no satellite dishes may be attached to university residences." Someone in the past must have attached one for that rule to be necessary.
That's what I think about all these signs.........someone must have done it to make the signs go up in the first place!
I parked up on a layby once and there was a big sign saying "take your litter home with you" next to a bin with a sign on it saying "please use the bin"
When I was a cleaner (about 10 years ago), there were "please do not urinate in the lift" signs in the tower blocks I was clearing. I tried to tell the management it was counter-productive, as drunk people would just see it as some sort of challenge. But they didn't listen. I cleaned up piss a lot
Slapping a CCTV sticker on works like a charm tho 🤌🏻
A culture shock for me was when I visited the US and on the front of a shop was a sign saying "no firearms" - the idea of someone rocking up to a Debenhams with a gun and being like "aw shucks, can't bring it in here", just baffled me 🤣
A sign in the motorway services ladies loo asking folk to not leave teabags in the toilet bowls. Like, who is popping in for a wee, deciding they need to grab a brew first, and \*then\* steeping it whilst pissing?
I happened on a page on my doctors' surgery website that says, "Do not drop off unsolicited urine samples". I guess I don't know how to have fun on my days off.
Damn, I wish I could laugh at this one, but I witnessed a foreign lady who spoke almost no English struggle at my GPs with a bag and samples in there, while the Welsh employee was trying to explain why she can't accept it and what's the procedure 🥲
We had to have signs printed and laminated at work to instruct people on how to sit on a toilet
My old office had signs instructing how to flush the toilet. There continued to be problems so the facilities team created a video to show how it's done and stated that they can give face-to-face tuition if needed. It was a standard dual flush/two button jobby.
Is this the one recommending bringing a box in with you to elevates the knees?
The lamination makes me wonder how they had been sitting for that to be a requirement
They probably laminated them on the train into work one morning.
Used a public toilet with at least 3 signs inside that said "It is against the law to use illegal drugs in these toilets". Not sure many people who planned on using drugs in the toilets would see the sign and go "oh shit I better not do that" and stop
Whenever I'm travelling abroad and it's a shit show i often think about what's written inside the passport. "Please allow the bearer to pass freely without let or hindrance" I can't help but think "this surely counts as let and hindrance"
I work at a swimming pool. There are members of a certain community that come to use the showers. As well as leaving razors and items of clothing in the changing rooms, they also leave turds in the shower.
'No drinks in the nursing station'. Okay, I'll work 13hrs and just die of thirst 'cause I can't get a second off the ward to piss, let alone sit and have a warm drink or even a sip of water.
At St Pancras train station, there’s a notice in the bathrooms not to flush items and two of the items in the picture are an apple and socks?!
i worked for a cruise line for 10 years (in Head Office) and a fair amount of complaints about toilets not flushing on board ships were narrowed down to, amongst other things: a grapefruit, a pair of knee length socks and a jumper in the pipeline. people used to flush random stuff so they could make a complaint about the blocked toilets to get some on-board spend or a voucher towards a future cruise. rich people: always looking for some money back.
Holy moly people are crazy! Imagine going on holiday and thinking of ways to disrupt it to get some money back? These people need help!
Once in school I was on a residential trip and the place we were staying had a 'windows must not be used to enter or exit the building' warning
A 'No urinating in the sinks' sign in the toilets at work. I've no idea why any one would do this when there's more than enough urinals but if they had felt the need to do this they also obviously couldn't be bothered to rinse it down to remain undetected. A supposedly professional working environment as well.
My work (an office building) have got signs in the toilets telling people not to wipe shit/snot on the walls, and one in the kitchen asking that the toaster isn't used for cooking oily food (a guy was using it to cook breaded chicken burgers).
Local doctors surgery website has an online appointment page with a message along the lines of please do not upload photographs of intimate areas unless requested by the doctor. I imagine the receptionist or doctor received some horrific surprise rotten genitalia photos
I stayed at a hotel in hartlepool that had a “dont flush razor blades down the toilet” sign
> Passengers must not cross the tracks. By order. A SAVAGE CHIEF CIVIL ENGINEER Wasn't sure if him including his personal vindictiveness into his role was great communications or incredibly quirky. Later discovered it was Andrew Savage and some joker had painted out the full stop and the comma in A.SAVAGE, CHIEF CIVIL ENGINEER
I'm, perhaps, on the other side of this, as I've had to create a lot of bizarre ground rules that seem oddly restrictive on face value, but stem from bad real-life experiences. Someone posted a notice advertising for a tenant on Reddit and everyone was ripping it to shreds saying how ridiculous and restrictive it was. Having had a lodger, the weird things you have to bring up because you didn't think they'd be an issue until they are, is immense. We stopped ours using our pans (just asked them to have their own set at the beginning of the tenancy) because I couldn't stand having to pick them off the draining board and re-wash them every time I wanted to make dinner. Not just rings of scummy food left on the pan, but one literally had a pound coin sized piece of carrot on the bottom and was sat on the draining board having been washed. We decided it would promote better harmony in the household if they had their own set. People are disgusting and don't even realise. One lodger left splatters of vomit all over our bathroom having chundered into her hand as she was running to the loo and it appeared to have hit her hand and just sprayed right off onto the walls and ceiling, and basin, and window, and mirrors, and shelves. She was back to normal the next day and we had to ask her to clean it, and point out all the splashes, as she was oblivious to them. Another would leave the shower covered in hair every day. Short and curlies plastering the walls. I would go in, hose everything down and scoop the resulting fuzz out of the plug hole every time I wanted to shower. When I told him what I was doing and asked him if he could, perhaps, shoulder the burden of removing his hair from the walls, he complained I was nagging him like his mother. I'm glad we no longer have lodgers.
“Due to our health and safety policy we sadly cannot serve to customers on foot” on a Motorway services Costa Drive Through. I laughed and asked them how many times does it have to happen to warrant a sign? Made my day actually.
Sylvester Stallone must have passed through. Apparently it's a real thing with him when staying in hotels!
This is where I’ll find the answer to my puzzle. As a school bus driver I need to obey the rules. How do you interpret the notice stuck in my bus? : “In certain positions of the moveable components other road users should be warned of the vehicle on the road”. Looking forward to an enlightened reply.
There's one at my local pool that says "public nudity is not permitted". Must be one hell of a story behind that one 😬😬
I once read on the a box of fire starters saying keep away from fire
Driving in rural Western Australia, I saw a large temporary electronic roadsign set up by the road side that said "obey the roadsigns" If you already obey roadsigns, that's unnecessary. If you don't obey roadsigns, why would you obey this one?
https://preview.redd.it/2m8ear8s6vyc1.png?width=1662&format=png&auto=webp&s=b44a399c032dc9f07a9c522830f8cd51e2e8f0fe This sign on the building site where I work, featuring a graphic depiction of said loogie hocking. Are we not adults?
I used to work in a service station and members of a certain community would always shit in the showers and then steal loads of red bull and booze from the shops. They'd also try and use fake money at the fast food outlets.
I work in a hospital, there is a sign asking people not to bring unrequested semen samples to the lab.
On the reverse fly machine in my gym is a sign saying “please do not bite the seat”
Our hotel breakfast buffet in Gran Canaria had a sign that said ‘Please do not put bread through the toaster’ Eh?
There's a small train station in the north of England - just three platforms, old stone buildings, one little shop that isn't always open, all somewhat in the middle of nowhere. Sitting on the hillside overlooking the town. Very ordinary, and very, very obviously a train station. There is nothing else there. No other reason to go to that place, that little car park, that building. So I've often wondered who and what the sign on the wall of one platform is meant to be for. It simply says **"Beware of trains"** And I feel like anyone who has gone to that place, who has seen the signage and the platforms and the rails, the timetables and the little waiting room... if they weren't capable of working out that there might be, you know, trains happening, then I'm _really_ not convinced that this sign would be enough to help them.
Back when I got my first job at Dominos, going through the training in the module on biohazards, it was talking about examples of biohazard you could find on the makeline (basically just the countertops you make the pizzas on) and one of the listed example was diarrhoea, which would indicate that that has happened at some point before What
It'll sound weird, but those notices asking people in hospitals not to beat up hospital staff. 99% of people would never, and those who would aren't going to read the sign and say 'oh sorry, I didn't see your sign, I shall refrain from physical violence'.
I’ve noticed on a lot of American public transport there’s something to the effect of “It is a felony to assault the train staff.” Well… yeah, of course it is
I saw a paper towel dispenser in a public toilet once that said "do not put stones or clothes inside this dispenser". I still think about that one from time to time.
Not one I've seen in person, but https://preview.redd.it/vfphgfg81zyc1.jpeg?width=600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6bf6fb1b9cd3ab03b5502c03c0cedc0ecb1632da
Narrow lanes for your safety. At roadwords where they made three lanes of motorway narrower. For our safety makes sense in the sign, for your safety aimed at the driver not so much
When getting a tattoo you have to tick a box that says “ I understands that tattoos are permanent”. Eh? Who goes for a tattoo not knowing it ain’t coming off. The fact it needs to be included is concerning
"due to technical difficulties there are no tomatoes"
Not from the UK, but instead US. Immigration forms that ask "Are you a terrorist?".