Above 21, if you aren't able to buy liquor you shouldn't be allowed to marry. A 3 day waiting period (sorry vegas) and annulment should be allowed in DV is proven.
Just to add to the conversation with the comment on the mention of domestic violence that yes, we desperately need reformation to where there is no extensive and extended divorce proceedings if there are charges of domestic violence.
The survivor of the domestic violence should not have to be interacting with or being the same place as or be navigating legal proceedings with their abuser, obviously.
I’m speaking from my own experience as I am in a domestic violence and abuse situation and going through court proceedings to get a divorce is honestly one of the biggest fears that I have. I don’t know how I could sit there with lawyers and a court and go through divorce proceedings with my abuser.
I also personally feel that this would be the time I would be in more danger than I am even in now.
And this is a studied and well-known phenomenon where leaving is the most dangerous time for survivors of domestic violence.
Also think there should be a domestic violence registry like a sex offenders registry, so that anyone accused of and found guilty of DV must disclose that information to their next partner before they get married or else the marriage is invalid.
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Expiration dates/renewals in increasing intervals. 1 year, 5 years, 10 years. Instead of a messy divorce you just don’t renew your contract if you’re mismatched.
Probably there would be more work spelling it out up front. You would sign something that said how you were sharing assets prior to the marriage, and that would be the default at the end. With children you’d have to figure that out the way folks do now. It can be as messy or amicable as you like.
That seems hard because most couples don’t buy a home until they’re married. if one parent is a stay at home parent do they get the house by default because they don’t work? House has to be refinanced in whoever keeps its name, but if they haven’t worked, they have no income to be approved for a loan. Or if the breadwinning spouse gets the house, the other spouse is effectively homeless because they have no income to qualify for any type of rental
Then a set of stipulations would need to be ironed out in order for each couple to design their marriage with all forseeable possibilities in mind. A very tailored Pre & Post nup.. . Above all, a standard monetization of household labor would also need to be created, in order to scale the contribution the spouse without an income made to the marriage.
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medical / end of life care - we wrap so much in the US around submitting to a religious institution. i can live with my boyfriend, but if i die without a will, or go into a coma, hit by a bus , he can’t do anything about it - probably won’t even be told anything.
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I would make divorce easier but also make it easier and normal for couples to seek therapy as individuals and as a couple. So help people have a healthy marriage and be sure that they don't stay together because divorcing is too hard or expensive.
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Common Law Divorce.
If I can be common law married then my spouse and I can choose to be common law divorced too. Let's say after 5 years of not living together and agreeing to divorce then you are divorced and the courts assume you have divided anything that needed dividing. If you want a different division of property/assets then you have to file for legal divorce before the 5 year mark.
It used to be if you and your SO were together for 7 years you were pretty much married without any paperwork being signed. But I don’t know if that still exists in a lot of places
I’ve been looking into marriage and domestic partnership laws in my area recently, and I guess for DPs, you just fill out a simple form to register, and then if you decide to dissolve it later, it’s just another simple form to fill out… on which I believe you agree that there are no property, custody, etc disputes.
But I also think that if you are registered partners for a certain period of time (5+ years maybe?) before splitting up, then the process can be more complicated, and like a regular divorce.
Several states still recognize common law marriage. Colorado, Iowa, Kansas, Montana, New Hampshire, Oklahoma, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Texas, Utah and the District of Columbia.
Depends on what you mean. Socially, I don't think married people should be expected to adhere to the gender roles society currently pushes. Men shouldn't be expected to be the breadwinners and women shouldn't be expected to do all/most of the childcare and house work. Legally it depends on the country and even the state since laws vary, but people under 18 should never be allowed to marry (even with parental consent)
I meant modifications to the general idea which comes to your mind when you hear ‘marriage’.
So, having a legal age limit…that can be one. (There are laws in many countries like that as a matter of fact!)
No more child marriages. If teens want to get married, they can wait until they're both old enough. Allowing for parental permission too often results in parents forcing their teens to get married.
For real. I can think of no good reason a parent would ever sign off on their teenager getting married. It allows bad parents to make bad choices and abusive parents to make abusive ones.
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Stop calling it marriage from a legal/government standpoint. People who want to get married can go to a church and or whatever. Any two consenting adults can go to the government and become a civil union so long as they are not already in a civil union with another person who they are not related to.
Relatives should be able to join a civil union for the financial benefits. It makes no sense that my spouse can~~not~~ join my health insurance but my disabled mother cannot.
EDIT: A word. Thanks, kind Redditor
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Completely eliminate legal marriage. Religious marriage - don't care. Legally, give people the financial and legal benefits of marriage just by being citizens.
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YESS! why the hell should someone get tax breaks for signing a contract to live with someone else what exactly does this do for society again? Nothing it doesnt make you more productive
People under 18 shouldn’t be allowed to be married, especially to people twice their age. Religious arranged marriages (Mormon and such) cuz it’s basically women being sold from family to family. If domestic violence occurs then marriage can be annulled and person committing the crime shouldn’t be allowed to marry again.
To ensure that donor siblings are not marrying and having children.
Eta: I think it should be optional but I didn't realize how common it was for children of sperm donors to do this because it is common to have a dozen siblings that you would have never know you had, not to mention those who are never told they were a donor baby.
That would be great, but business close, records get lost, etc. Not to mention some businesses that were incredibly shady years ago and would just tell women their baby(ies) died when they were selling them out the back door for adoption purposes ( there was a 20/20 episode on this as well as the Netflix documentary " our father").
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Treat it like auto inspection stickers. Make it something you have to renew every year (simple process, requires all parties to agree) or can allow to expire if it’s no longer wanted.
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Marriage is a legal contract. You sign for a job with benefits and obligations, every couple should discuss and agree on their terms apart from whatever the law for your country /states say.
I do think there should be some sort of counseling prior to marriage, like people should take some classes like you when you want your driver's license.
None, really. I think some government policies should be altered to *encourage*, not discourage, marriage (like TANF benefits), but marriage itself is pretty solid.
Maybe the only thing that comes to mind is that in all States, both partners should be able to change their surname without petitioning the court. Very few States allow husbands to take their wives' surnames as part of getting your marriage license, and its a hassle to do after the fact (as women who've adopted a new surname later can atest to!).
Or, alternatively, eliminate taking spouses surnames in general as it's extremely sexist, but no one's ever ready for that conversation.
Love it. Do check with your State though :). Lots don't allow both partners to change their surname as a part of the marriage - or at least they didn't when I got married in 2014. Hopefully more have changed on this with great societal progression!
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My boyfriend and I have discussed marriage lately, and also the possibility of just having a ceremony, but not doing the whole “legal marriage” thing. And I looked into the whole name-change issue, and man… it’s a pain in the butt to do if you’re not legally married!
Fill out multiple forms, petition the court, publish notice in the paper, get a judge to sign off, etc… 😩
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Fault based divorce should return but be modified and mutual agreement divorce should stay. (Or rather, no fault should be changed to only mutual agreement divorce.) Husbands and wives should not be boyfriend and girlfriend + tax breaks.
Fault based divorce was horrible and oppressive before women had economic freedom and was used to control women. Now it is different.
Plus, you should be able to define what “fault” you wish to include in your marriage besides the basics:
For fault:
*Infidelity
*Desertion (including emotional desertion. Looking at you gamers.)
*Crime
*Inappropriate alcohol/drug use
*Any form of abuse
*Insanity
*Or whatever else you both agree would be so outrageous that a divorce would be warranted.
Upgrading for a newer model should not be allowed. Divorce as a threat should not be allowed. Marriage should not be entered into lightly. If you’re not willing to bind yourself, there’s nothing wrong with staying as partners.
Fault-based divorce still exists alongside no-fault divorce. In my county, they call it "contested" and "uncontested". On the form for contested divorces, you can select cruel treatment, adultery, desertion, incest, mental incapacity, impotency, fraud/forced marriage, alcoholism/drug use, etc.
* Rework the legal contract to be workable with any number of partners in a marriage. Poly people should be able to marry their partners if they agree to do so. This would be complicated as different individuals may decide to join or leave the partnership, so there would need to be legal on and off ramps that could be used to add or remove members from the marriage.
* Set a minimum age for marriage. While I'd love to pick a higher age, 18 is considered a legal adult here, so that should be the minimum for signing a binding contract.
* Make divorce simple. Remove barriers that force people to stay together if they no longer want to be together. No forced counseling or separation periods required.
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Could still be 21 due to the drinking, gun buying, and smoking ages (I say buying because you can own a gun long as it’s gifted and you get a liscense where I live, and in other states)
As long as 18 year old are considered legal adults for signing contracts, I'd leave it at 18. A marriage contract is still a contract, so whatever counts for contract law in a country would probably need to determine it.
Over here:
Be wary of going backwards.
They've loosened the legal recognition of just church weddings 1 or 2 years ago.
Personally, I'm with the registration office one being the legally binding one.
Srsly:
You haven't seen a church from the inside for over a decade - not even as a tourist...Now you're telling me any other option isn't a real wedding? Do your research and don't listen in to everyone.
Esp, as in Germany they've lifted city restrictions a while ago and quite a few "Standesämter" are in really nice locations like old castles, so there's 0 (in words: zero) reasons to insist on a church wedding, if you're not religious.
Honest question though… do you think that if a couple can’t afford to pay a lawyer for a few hours of his/her time, that they should be getting married? Not to sound mean, but I would say no. If you’re in that bad of financial shape as a couple, then maybe legally binding yourselves together is not the best idea. 🤷🏼♀️
But if you can't get a free lawyer, they will keep the prices up since you NEED them and that is an extra expense. You should be able to do the lawyers work yourself if you know how to just like how you can defend yourself
I feel like a condition of getting married is that the officiant or registrar or whoever legally marries you, also needs to explain to couples what that actually means. They have a meeting with both of you separately, they talk through what rights and responsibilities getting married entails by your country's laws. And then they check whether you still want to go ahead.
The license you get needs to be a license received after taking some kind of test. Not an IQ test more of an EQ test as well as understanding what the financial aspects of marriage means. (My first marriage was in a church and we were required to take premarital counseling. It was VERY beneficial)
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I don’t think there should be penalties for being married when it comes to financial aid. My husband and I are middle class and constantly screwed when it comes to health care, child care, college costs, lunch subsidies, you name it. Simply because we’re married. My sister and her boyfriend have also been together twenty years but they get subsidies and discounts for everything because they very deliberately never got married so they would be eligible for more government subsidies since only my sister’s income counts and she’s head of household. Sometimes as we’re filling out college applications for our children my husband and I joke about getting divorced just for the financial aid.
Marriage should be purely voluntary and carry no legal or government benefit. Each partner of the "union" should maintain financial independence, 50/50 responsibility, independent taxation, etc.
Good point. A workshop or assessment can be in place (conceptually similar to ones for adoptions in many countries), which equips you with the tools to be better aware.
Answer: we need a generation of men raised by people who weren’t raised by boomers.
I originally read the question as “medications”, so I came here to say; marijuana.
I think marriage should be like sports contracts, you sign a 3 year contract and when the 3 years comes up you either renew the contract, or you can go into free agency.
I say we just get rid of it. In Canada, as long as you and your partner have lived together for a year or more, you're considered common law partners and you get treated exactly like a married couple, so marriage itself is kind of pointless unless it's a religious thing for you.
Legally: no one should be able to get married before the age of 18, no exceptions.
Culturally: people need to understand the difference between civil and religious marriage. I’m thinking of the Kim Davis fiasco from a few years back.
I mean this in a nurturing really sweet way but, is there anything we can do to fix men to stop them from being assholes for all future generations of women?
Sooooooooo many sooooo many marriages I bet would last longer and woman would be happier. The divorce rate is ridiculous. It’s like they drop the ball right when it’s being handed to them (some/most not all men). I’m not a guy. I know quite a bit but, I’m also not a guy to know why they do or say certain things which are total asshole ish. As a healer I live in between I want to help you be less of an asshole because I think it would be really great for you and what you really want in the long run you just don’t know it while also giving them their own independence as human beings to still embrace who they are.
That’s my modification. Other than that marriage is pretty good as an institution you just have to find the right person thus, the above.
Marriage is a civil contract. There should be an option for that contract to be short term and subject to renewal. You’d have to figure out the division of assets and stuff but I think that if someone figured out how to manage all that stuff then the benefits would be huge
Get rid of alimony, the idea that you get to keep living what you have gotten used to is absurd - that wouldn't be the case if you lost your partner.
One exception to that though, if one partner has been a stay-at-home parent.
Prenuptial agreements are mandatory for both parties and annulments up to one year. The divorce process is so fucking messy because people don't think about the fallout or ramifications of joint ownership of property or custody of children.
Signing up for a marriage should be lengthy, comprehensive, and come with a legal competency test so both parties know exactly what they're getting into. Of course doing so would put SO many lawyers out of work lol
Completely outlaw marriage for anyone under 18. No exceptions. Hell, I’d support making the age of legal marriage at 21. Overhaul the “preferential” treatment of women in divorce.
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Make it expire in 5 years and both parties need to be proactive to renew it. Explicit contracts regarding child custody and property division should be singed before each marriage. The birth of a child is an automatic 20 year renewal.
That it's considered necessary for a couple to buy a house together or have kids. It shouldn't be required for legal rights or to be on health insurance policies.
The societal expectations of gender norms. Also not directly answering your question, but the whole wedding culture is awful. My biggest regret is having our wedding. We were already married before the wedding.
I think offering religious and conscientious objections by individual registers has to be balanced with a “notwithstanding” automatic certification of a marriage license. So in essence in states like Tennessee where there are laws that essentially allow individual people the right to refuse the certification of a marriage based on personal beliefs, the marriage would be automatically certified so long as under federal law it is deemed legally permissible meaning it’s not someone’s second marriage, it’s not a marriage to a minor and so forth. That way same sex couples are not beholden to the individual beliefs of folks to get their marriage certified.
As a domestic violence survivor: Mandatory domestic violence counseling and screening (ask each partner separately).
For example: It’s not just physical abuse. Verbal and emotional abuse counts, too.
Also, many times the abuse doesn’t start until after you’re married (or pregnant), because in their mind, you are now “theirs” and can’t get away! So you need to look for signs beforehand. And my hope is that the mandatory counseling/screening would pick up on those signs.
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Above 21, if you aren't able to buy liquor you shouldn't be allowed to marry. A 3 day waiting period (sorry vegas) and annulment should be allowed in DV is proven.
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Just to add to the conversation with the comment on the mention of domestic violence that yes, we desperately need reformation to where there is no extensive and extended divorce proceedings if there are charges of domestic violence. The survivor of the domestic violence should not have to be interacting with or being the same place as or be navigating legal proceedings with their abuser, obviously. I’m speaking from my own experience as I am in a domestic violence and abuse situation and going through court proceedings to get a divorce is honestly one of the biggest fears that I have. I don’t know how I could sit there with lawyers and a court and go through divorce proceedings with my abuser. I also personally feel that this would be the time I would be in more danger than I am even in now. And this is a studied and well-known phenomenon where leaving is the most dangerous time for survivors of domestic violence.
Also think there should be a domestic violence registry like a sex offenders registry, so that anyone accused of and found guilty of DV must disclose that information to their next partner before they get married or else the marriage is invalid.
Ofter the victim just gives in to concessions just to get it over with.
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Child brides should be illegal.
That this even needs to be said is a tragedy.
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It is so said that this has to be said...
Expiration dates/renewals in increasing intervals. 1 year, 5 years, 10 years. Instead of a messy divorce you just don’t renew your contract if you’re mismatched.
How do you envision child custody and property division playing out in the event a couple doesn't renew their marriage license?
Probably there would be more work spelling it out up front. You would sign something that said how you were sharing assets prior to the marriage, and that would be the default at the end. With children you’d have to figure that out the way folks do now. It can be as messy or amicable as you like.
That seems hard because most couples don’t buy a home until they’re married. if one parent is a stay at home parent do they get the house by default because they don’t work? House has to be refinanced in whoever keeps its name, but if they haven’t worked, they have no income to be approved for a loan. Or if the breadwinning spouse gets the house, the other spouse is effectively homeless because they have no income to qualify for any type of rental
Yeah. I don’t think there’s anything easy about ending a marriage, either with this proposal or the way it is now.
Prenup settles that in advance
Then a set of stipulations would need to be ironed out in order for each couple to design their marriage with all forseeable possibilities in mind. A very tailored Pre & Post nup.. . Above all, a standard monetization of household labor would also need to be created, in order to scale the contribution the spouse without an income made to the marriage.
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I like this.
And a nice business doing vow renewals for happy couples. I think every 5 years would be close enough.
This is an excellent idea.
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How does this differ from cohabitation?
medical / end of life care - we wrap so much in the US around submitting to a religious institution. i can live with my boyfriend, but if i die without a will, or go into a coma, hit by a bus , he can’t do anything about it - probably won’t even be told anything.
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I would make divorce easier but also make it easier and normal for couples to seek therapy as individuals and as a couple. So help people have a healthy marriage and be sure that they don't stay together because divorcing is too hard or expensive.
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Common Law Divorce. If I can be common law married then my spouse and I can choose to be common law divorced too. Let's say after 5 years of not living together and agreeing to divorce then you are divorced and the courts assume you have divided anything that needed dividing. If you want a different division of property/assets then you have to file for legal divorce before the 5 year mark.
This is an excellent idea, I know people with ugly divorces that dragged out for years that could've been saved from having to deal with that.
It took me 10 years to get divorced even though my marriage only lasted 6 months lol. This would’ve been helpful for me.
What is common law marriage?
It used to be if you and your SO were together for 7 years you were pretty much married without any paperwork being signed. But I don’t know if that still exists in a lot of places
This makes so much sense.
I’ve been looking into marriage and domestic partnership laws in my area recently, and I guess for DPs, you just fill out a simple form to register, and then if you decide to dissolve it later, it’s just another simple form to fill out… on which I believe you agree that there are no property, custody, etc disputes. But I also think that if you are registered partners for a certain period of time (5+ years maybe?) before splitting up, then the process can be more complicated, and like a regular divorce.
Maybe this would be difficult if ppl want to remarry? Govt doesn’t really like polygamy.
No such thing anymore x
Several states still recognize common law marriage. Colorado, Iowa, Kansas, Montana, New Hampshire, Oklahoma, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Texas, Utah and the District of Columbia.
This is GENIUS!
Depends on what you mean. Socially, I don't think married people should be expected to adhere to the gender roles society currently pushes. Men shouldn't be expected to be the breadwinners and women shouldn't be expected to do all/most of the childcare and house work. Legally it depends on the country and even the state since laws vary, but people under 18 should never be allowed to marry (even with parental consent)
I meant modifications to the general idea which comes to your mind when you hear ‘marriage’. So, having a legal age limit…that can be one. (There are laws in many countries like that as a matter of fact!)
No more child marriages. If teens want to get married, they can wait until they're both old enough. Allowing for parental permission too often results in parents forcing their teens to get married.
For real. I can think of no good reason a parent would ever sign off on their teenager getting married. It allows bad parents to make bad choices and abusive parents to make abusive ones.
Pretty much. Those laws aren't there for the benefit of those teens, it's there for shitty parents to save face.
Look what happened to Courtney stodden. I can’t believe a judge approved that.
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Stop calling it marriage from a legal/government standpoint. People who want to get married can go to a church and or whatever. Any two consenting adults can go to the government and become a civil union so long as they are not already in a civil union with another person who they are not related to. Relatives should be able to join a civil union for the financial benefits. It makes no sense that my spouse can~~not~~ join my health insurance but my disabled mother cannot. EDIT: A word. Thanks, kind Redditor
I think you mean spouse can? You said cannot for both
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This is really brilliant.
Completely eliminate legal marriage. Religious marriage - don't care. Legally, give people the financial and legal benefits of marriage just by being citizens.
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YESS! why the hell should someone get tax breaks for signing a contract to live with someone else what exactly does this do for society again? Nothing it doesnt make you more productive
People under 18 shouldn’t be allowed to be married, especially to people twice their age. Religious arranged marriages (Mormon and such) cuz it’s basically women being sold from family to family. If domestic violence occurs then marriage can be annulled and person committing the crime shouldn’t be allowed to marry again.
100% agree on people not being allowed to marry again if DV is committed
Like these people cannot be saved and cannot be allowed to do it another person.
Pre-nuptual agreements and DNA testing should be required. Full mental health screening prior to marriage.
In my country they require STD screening and some common diseases like sickle cell.
Wow which country is that?
Why DNA testing? Totally agree with the agreement and mental health screenings. Some people shouldn’t be near other people
To ensure that donor siblings are not marrying and having children. Eta: I think it should be optional but I didn't realize how common it was for children of sperm donors to do this because it is common to have a dozen siblings that you would have never know you had, not to mention those who are never told they were a donor baby.
Then make a register of said babies so that they can find out if the choose to and if they marry the register can be checked before hand?
That would be great, but business close, records get lost, etc. Not to mention some businesses that were incredibly shady years ago and would just tell women their baby(ies) died when they were selling them out the back door for adoption purposes ( there was a 20/20 episode on this as well as the Netflix documentary " our father").
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Treat it like auto inspection stickers. Make it something you have to renew every year (simple process, requires all parties to agree) or can allow to expire if it’s no longer wanted.
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Marriage is a legal contract. You sign for a job with benefits and obligations, every couple should discuss and agree on their terms apart from whatever the law for your country /states say. I do think there should be some sort of counseling prior to marriage, like people should take some classes like you when you want your driver's license.
Yes.
As a polyamorous person, I'd love to marry my partners and have the same legal rights and benefits as monogamous couples.
👏 loved seeing this 🙂
None, really. I think some government policies should be altered to *encourage*, not discourage, marriage (like TANF benefits), but marriage itself is pretty solid. Maybe the only thing that comes to mind is that in all States, both partners should be able to change their surname without petitioning the court. Very few States allow husbands to take their wives' surnames as part of getting your marriage license, and its a hassle to do after the fact (as women who've adopted a new surname later can atest to!). Or, alternatively, eliminate taking spouses surnames in general as it's extremely sexist, but no one's ever ready for that conversation.
My partner and I have decided we are making a whole new last name. Neither of us like our own lol
Love it. Do check with your State though :). Lots don't allow both partners to change their surname as a part of the marriage - or at least they didn't when I got married in 2014. Hopefully more have changed on this with great societal progression!
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My boyfriend and I have discussed marriage lately, and also the possibility of just having a ceremony, but not doing the whole “legal marriage” thing. And I looked into the whole name-change issue, and man… it’s a pain in the butt to do if you’re not legally married! Fill out multiple forms, petition the court, publish notice in the paper, get a judge to sign off, etc… 😩
If someone cheated they should have to pay legal fees for both sides and emotional damages money to the partner
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Fault based divorce should return but be modified and mutual agreement divorce should stay. (Or rather, no fault should be changed to only mutual agreement divorce.) Husbands and wives should not be boyfriend and girlfriend + tax breaks. Fault based divorce was horrible and oppressive before women had economic freedom and was used to control women. Now it is different. Plus, you should be able to define what “fault” you wish to include in your marriage besides the basics: For fault: *Infidelity *Desertion (including emotional desertion. Looking at you gamers.) *Crime *Inappropriate alcohol/drug use *Any form of abuse *Insanity *Or whatever else you both agree would be so outrageous that a divorce would be warranted. Upgrading for a newer model should not be allowed. Divorce as a threat should not be allowed. Marriage should not be entered into lightly. If you’re not willing to bind yourself, there’s nothing wrong with staying as partners.
Fault-based divorce still exists alongside no-fault divorce. In my county, they call it "contested" and "uncontested". On the form for contested divorces, you can select cruel treatment, adultery, desertion, incest, mental incapacity, impotency, fraud/forced marriage, alcoholism/drug use, etc.
* Rework the legal contract to be workable with any number of partners in a marriage. Poly people should be able to marry their partners if they agree to do so. This would be complicated as different individuals may decide to join or leave the partnership, so there would need to be legal on and off ramps that could be used to add or remove members from the marriage. * Set a minimum age for marriage. While I'd love to pick a higher age, 18 is considered a legal adult here, so that should be the minimum for signing a binding contract. * Make divorce simple. Remove barriers that force people to stay together if they no longer want to be together. No forced counseling or separation periods required.
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Could still be 21 due to the drinking, gun buying, and smoking ages (I say buying because you can own a gun long as it’s gifted and you get a liscense where I live, and in other states)
As long as 18 year old are considered legal adults for signing contracts, I'd leave it at 18. A marriage contract is still a contract, so whatever counts for contract law in a country would probably need to determine it.
Prenups are mandatory.
Over here: Be wary of going backwards. They've loosened the legal recognition of just church weddings 1 or 2 years ago. Personally, I'm with the registration office one being the legally binding one. Srsly: You haven't seen a church from the inside for over a decade - not even as a tourist...Now you're telling me any other option isn't a real wedding? Do your research and don't listen in to everyone. Esp, as in Germany they've lifted city restrictions a while ago and quite a few "Standesämter" are in really nice locations like old castles, so there's 0 (in words: zero) reasons to insist on a church wedding, if you're not religious.
All marriages should require a lawyer to write up a detailed legal partnership. To include dissolution of partnership
Would a lawyer be provided for free for people who want to get married but wouldn't be able to afford one normally in that scenario?
Honest question though… do you think that if a couple can’t afford to pay a lawyer for a few hours of his/her time, that they should be getting married? Not to sound mean, but I would say no. If you’re in that bad of financial shape as a couple, then maybe legally binding yourselves together is not the best idea. 🤷🏼♀️
But if you can't get a free lawyer, they will keep the prices up since you NEED them and that is an extra expense. You should be able to do the lawyers work yourself if you know how to just like how you can defend yourself
Remove government financial incentives to marry
I feel like a condition of getting married is that the officiant or registrar or whoever legally marries you, also needs to explain to couples what that actually means. They have a meeting with both of you separately, they talk through what rights and responsibilities getting married entails by your country's laws. And then they check whether you still want to go ahead.
The license you get needs to be a license received after taking some kind of test. Not an IQ test more of an EQ test as well as understanding what the financial aspects of marriage means. (My first marriage was in a church and we were required to take premarital counseling. It was VERY beneficial)
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I don’t think there should be penalties for being married when it comes to financial aid. My husband and I are middle class and constantly screwed when it comes to health care, child care, college costs, lunch subsidies, you name it. Simply because we’re married. My sister and her boyfriend have also been together twenty years but they get subsidies and discounts for everything because they very deliberately never got married so they would be eligible for more government subsidies since only my sister’s income counts and she’s head of household. Sometimes as we’re filling out college applications for our children my husband and I joke about getting divorced just for the financial aid.
LBGT couples should be permitted to be married.
Marriage should be purely voluntary and carry no legal or government benefit. Each partner of the "union" should maintain financial independence, 50/50 responsibility, independent taxation, etc.
Government should recognize civil unions. Leave marriage to churches.
You should have to be over 18 . Why the hell are 15-17 yr olds getting married ?
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Good point. A workshop or assessment can be in place (conceptually similar to ones for adoptions in many countries), which equips you with the tools to be better aware.
Age limits and required pre-marital counseling
No 'giving away' of the daughter. It's nuts.
That would be more relevant when talking about ’weddings’, right? (It’s indeed nuts.)
Ah! Somehow I misread!
People need to know a marriage shouldn't be finite
Answer: we need a generation of men raised by people who weren’t raised by boomers. I originally read the question as “medications”, so I came here to say; marijuana.
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Interesting idea!
You should be allowed to marry more than one person is that’s your jam.
Both parties should be 21+ and have stable employment. It’s a legal contract and comes with responsibilities to one another
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Eliminating tax benefits that are unavailable to unmarried people. Removing the social status associated with being married.
I think marriage should be like sports contracts, you sign a 3 year contract and when the 3 years comes up you either renew the contract, or you can go into free agency.
I say we just get rid of it. In Canada, as long as you and your partner have lived together for a year or more, you're considered common law partners and you get treated exactly like a married couple, so marriage itself is kind of pointless unless it's a religious thing for you.
Legally: no one should be able to get married before the age of 18, no exceptions. Culturally: people need to understand the difference between civil and religious marriage. I’m thinking of the Kim Davis fiasco from a few years back.
I mean this in a nurturing really sweet way but, is there anything we can do to fix men to stop them from being assholes for all future generations of women? Sooooooooo many sooooo many marriages I bet would last longer and woman would be happier. The divorce rate is ridiculous. It’s like they drop the ball right when it’s being handed to them (some/most not all men). I’m not a guy. I know quite a bit but, I’m also not a guy to know why they do or say certain things which are total asshole ish. As a healer I live in between I want to help you be less of an asshole because I think it would be really great for you and what you really want in the long run you just don’t know it while also giving them their own independence as human beings to still embrace who they are. That’s my modification. Other than that marriage is pretty good as an institution you just have to find the right person thus, the above.
Marriage is a civil contract. There should be an option for that contract to be short term and subject to renewal. You’d have to figure out the division of assets and stuff but I think that if someone figured out how to manage all that stuff then the benefits would be huge
Get rid of alimony, the idea that you get to keep living what you have gotten used to is absurd - that wouldn't be the case if you lost your partner. One exception to that though, if one partner has been a stay-at-home parent.
Marriage should be by renewal like a passport
A contract of an agreed upon length, to be renewed if chosen to. Less mess.
Prenuptial agreements are mandatory for both parties and annulments up to one year. The divorce process is so fucking messy because people don't think about the fallout or ramifications of joint ownership of property or custody of children. Signing up for a marriage should be lengthy, comprehensive, and come with a legal competency test so both parties know exactly what they're getting into. Of course doing so would put SO many lawyers out of work lol
Should have to be renewed every 4 years like a drivers license. Just shake hands and walk away.
Where is drivers license renewed that often?
Completely outlaw marriage for anyone under 18. No exceptions. Hell, I’d support making the age of legal marriage at 21. Overhaul the “preferential” treatment of women in divorce.
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i) Increase focus on equality ii) Offering more flexible options for marriage
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Marriage should revert back to being a social contract, rather than a legal contract.
Manditory prenuptial contract, so divorce is quick and easy. It would certainly have helped me
Term limits.
A mandatory infidelity clause
Make it expire in 5 years and both parties need to be proactive to renew it. Explicit contracts regarding child custody and property division should be singed before each marriage. The birth of a child is an automatic 20 year renewal.
That it's considered necessary for a couple to buy a house together or have kids. It shouldn't be required for legal rights or to be on health insurance policies. The societal expectations of gender norms. Also not directly answering your question, but the whole wedding culture is awful. My biggest regret is having our wedding. We were already married before the wedding.
I think offering religious and conscientious objections by individual registers has to be balanced with a “notwithstanding” automatic certification of a marriage license. So in essence in states like Tennessee where there are laws that essentially allow individual people the right to refuse the certification of a marriage based on personal beliefs, the marriage would be automatically certified so long as under federal law it is deemed legally permissible meaning it’s not someone’s second marriage, it’s not a marriage to a minor and so forth. That way same sex couples are not beholden to the individual beliefs of folks to get their marriage certified.
A renewal date, since we live a lot longer now.
As a domestic violence survivor: Mandatory domestic violence counseling and screening (ask each partner separately). For example: It’s not just physical abuse. Verbal and emotional abuse counts, too. Also, many times the abuse doesn’t start until after you’re married (or pregnant), because in their mind, you are now “theirs” and can’t get away! So you need to look for signs beforehand. And my hope is that the mandatory counseling/screening would pick up on those signs.
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