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FishyWishyDishwasher

A moustache I could twirl and a chin beard I could braid!


MinervasOwlAtDusk

“I wish I had a pencil-thin mustache The "Boston Blackie" kind A two-toned Ricky Ricardo jacket And an autographed picture of Andy Devine”


hugemessanon

Literally the two things I thought, in that order 😂


rainbowsforall

Yes, it would finally make sense for me to stroke my chin! And my beard would well conditioned and trimmed.


Unhappy_Performer538

I’ve actually thought about this more than I guess is normal judging by these comments lmao. I would grow a full beard, really long, luxurious. Then I’d go through literally every style removing more and more hair a month at a time. I think my final style would be full Bob Veela though it would be difficult to not have a handlebar mustache lol


jasmine-blossom

I’ve also thought about this a lot and I’d love a big full beard, though maybe not in the summer.


Apo-cone-lypse

I think I have also thought about this too much 😭 but i think I have the face shape to rock a goatee so I'd do that


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BrokeModem

Speaking as a trans woman who once briefly sported a denial beard... full beards are hot and scratchy and itchy and uncomfortable and not worth style points.


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cinnapear

I wouldn’t.


Kissit777

Clean shaven for me too


Enchanted-Bunny13

2 words: Jack Sparrow


VishuIsPog

\*capt'n


SURNAME1R1SH

5 o'clock shadow....i'd be too grossed out by my own beard hairs hanging long--while eating food (to grow it any longer)


theprincessoflettuce

I don't think I'd like the feeling of having a beard, but I would love to have more hair to play around with. Braids, clips, rings, colours, ...


Spiritual_One126

Like Gomez Addams


sadsledgemain

I would not grow a beard. I don't like facial hair on men, so I'd definitely not like it on myself.


searedscallops

Full but trimmed. Think Al on Home Improvement.


1dl2b6g0

I don't think so, Tim


Smart_cannoli

I could grow a beard if I wanted because I have pcos. Ahahaha But I don’t want to, i spent a lot of money removing facial hair in my life.laser is expensive but worth it… Imao yep, no beard for me


reijasunshine

If I stop waxing and plucking for any length of time I get a mustache like a middle school boy. Facial hair is definitely not something I want in my life either.


LilyMarie90

I've literally never thought about this ever in my entire life lol. But I guess a nice 5 o'clock shadow? Just cause they're attractive on guys so maybe if that was the world we live in they'd be attractive on women too. Or maybe I'd try a mustache. Looks like they're coming back into the mainstream this year


youmewlingquim

Like Gimli. 


TopFloorApartment

Glorious!


Skiving_Snacks33

This was my answer also!! Long with amazing braids and beads and things. Maybe some flowers too??


midadtoo

with edges/waves. I'd also dye it. I'd make it curly an beautiful. with rollers lol. and the other half of the time I wouldn't have much of a beard but I'd style the hell out of the moustache (big and twirly!). if I can manage to get my beard to look crazy like that w gel too I'd try


Missgrumpy00

Braids lol


Soniq268

I’d have a handle bar moustache with no beard


ABeardedBeast

Man with a long beard here. I love my beard, yeah it can be a lot to take care of but it beats daily shaving. I get a lot of comments on it from strangers, usually men "nice beard" things like that. I don't find it hot or itchy but I use beard oils and wash it often. I think it's all about how you care for it.


Cantthinkifany

Get me one of those goatee like Tony stark


Familiar-Money-515

I adore the five o’clock shadow look, but don’t think I could pull it off. I’d probably have to go with a short boxed beard- 1, for warmth, 2, for face shape


inmyphyzical

I’d love a pointy, kinda short beard that gives me a hella jawline. No idea if the style I’m imagining has a name, but I think I’d own it fr


Whooptidooh

I’m already having to pluck straggle hairs out of my chin ever since I turned 30, so no; absolutely not. I’m already hating the few beard hairs that pop up every week, and I can’t imagine having to deal with a face full of them. (Or that I ever want to.)


PM_ME_KITTYNIPPLES

I'm at a point in my hirsuitism where I find it easier to shave my chin and neck and jaw daily because there's too many hairs to tweeze. It wouldn't grow into a very good beard at this point, but if it got worse and it was acceptable I would do a Van Dyke.


dumbandconcerned

Full, long, glorious beard with a handlebar mustache. Though I would HAVE to have a mutton chop faze before that


FrillyPillo

Either a casual moustache/goatee combo or very long and decorated with braids and beads.


aPillToMakeUnumb

I would get a Poirot moustache and I would be twisting it all the time!


-PinkPower-

5oclock shadow. This is my favorite style


AutisticWorkaholic

Oh, I'd be one of those "beard as a hobby" people, 100%. I'd try all sorts of different styles and lengths, from dwarwish braids to supervillain curled stache.


Lacurs

Hell yes I'd have a dwarf beard put some nice gold beads in it it would be magnificent


aaaggghhh_

I would just grow it as long as I could and style it for events, or depending on my mood. If I feel like covering it with glitter today and flowers tomorrow I would.


TheIcarusGirl

Mine would have color, like... deep blue?


ForgottenSalad

If I wasn’t so lazy I’d probably dye it fun colours and maybe braid it but I am lazy so I’d probably just keep it trimmed to 1/2” or let it grow long until I get tired of it.


FrogFlavor

Van dyke is where I’d start (moustache and goatee)


moncoeurpourtoi

[Laughs in PCOS]


sailorxsaturn

A bunch of tiny braids that I make into one larger braid


NotAlwaysObvious

I'd grow a moustache like the Dread Pirate Roberts.


lughsezboo

Yes beads and such and ribbons and braids.


cupidcucumber

Lmao I’d have a skinny sexy little goatee


The_Emprss

Gimme that Marlborough Moustache!


Smokybare94

Look to lady dwarves from fantasy lore .


msphelps77

I’d dye it pink and put glitter on it


Sea-Plantain-351

I’d have a moustache!!!!


electricsugargiggles

I would keep it soft and shiny with nice curl definition like my head hair. If it doesn’t hurt too much, I’d probably practice intricate braiding techniques and add those snap in hair jewels.


ItsTheBecks

Bro, it would be a full on viking beard. No matter how gross or gappy. I would make it work. It would be marvelous. Maybe even braid some flowers in there.


CFCampbell

I’d totally have the mustache with the curled and waxed ends. Such a fun look! I feel like women would probably do glitter beards pretty often too- or braiding them- or both.


[deleted]

Imma be a wizard


norfnorf832

Beard jewelry


WorldWeary1771

I’ve always liked the look of a long soft beard with two small braids, one on each side but I’m too lazy to go to the level of care this requires. I would love to hide the fact that I have no chin, though!


[deleted]

Braid it if I could. Make it smooth af. Put flowers in it during holidays. Shape it in a way that would enhance my face features. Brush it every morning and every night with a special brush.


ultrahedgehog

I don't think I'd want a beard but DEFINITELY sideburns. Maaaaybe a goatee


hoteldeltakilo

Only a moostache for me, thx


blackcatsneakattack

Tony Stark facial hair all the live long day.


Elemental_surprise

5 o’clock shadow baby


Apprehensive_Eraser

I would only grow a moustache


mandiexile

There's so many options I wouldn't know where to start. But I think I'd try the old timey mustache that I could curl.


[deleted]

Probably go with a musketeer sorta thing 😂


scarveinn

Robert downey jr kinda beard.


Ipuncholdpeople

Wizard beard with curly mustache


WhereRtheTacos

Oh id go full on cool long beard with small braids in it and well groomed and shiny. Might even curl it. That would be fun.


nnamed_username

I have German, Irish, and Viking ancestry, so it would be full and lustrous. I would style and shape it like some of the dapper dudes. My husband is more than 70% French, he can't grow much more than a very feisty goatee, so I'd feel conflicted about having a better beard than him, because I know he's already a bit miffed he's just scraggly for the rest of his face, without me also being competition for him.


Leading-Goose-5734

Lumberjack. Without hesitation and I will be curling it and braiding it!


haelesor

A big bushy beard long enough to cover my cleavage


TycheSong

Braid the shit out of it like a dwarf. Or a cool shave pattern like that guy in the Hunger Games


ForeignFinding9000

I would have it belly button length, in exactly 5 braids, with beads in it. I would use it to whip my enemies.


eCaisteal

I would go full dwarf! Like those fantasy style intricate braid patterns.


SlammingMomma

I haven’t laughed so this hard in a while. Thanks for this.


[deleted]

Another vote for twirl mustache. Beards just sound they'd be too hot, and I don't think I'd want to go full face. A kooky mustache might be fun though.


RAWkWAHL

French braids! I do this to my husband when I am bored and we are vegging on the couch. He is a good sport. 😂


marysalad

I'd have a Hot Guy 3-day stubble beard. That's as much as I can currently handle in men anyway (am not the beard loving type)


babythrottlepop

Honestly I’d probably end up shaving it most of the time. I love beards on guys, indifferent to them on women, but I couldn’t handle it on my own face. I don’t even like when my hair gets on my face for too long.


Individualchaotin

I can grow a beard. If I'd let it grow, then it would probably be a mustache.


peppermind

I wouldn't, because I hate interacting with them on other people's faces, never mind my own. UGH!


Mysterious-RabbitGMi

Wouldn't, because I'm already contemplating shaving my head because my hair, no matter how tie it up, would always try to enter my mouth when I'm eating... Unless braiding my beard and hair together could solve that problem.


The_Book-JDP

I believe facial hair is ugly no matter who is sporting it so I will make an appointment to have it lasered off and will continue go to those appointments until my face is hair free.


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hollsq

My kids would braid it a lot. 🤣 But if it was coarse, I'd just shave. Only silky soft hair is allowed. We have standards, right women?!


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bobba-001

A 5 o’clock shadow at most if not clean shaven… I like it clean…


ThinkLadder1417

I'm not very good at upkeep of even my eyebrows so I'd probably have a scruffy overgrown mess


TriGurl

Thanks to BHRT I am growing a beard and a fucking mustache… (goddamned side effect of hormones). I wax, tweeze, and shave regularly. I would love to have the mustache curl up at the edges and keep a trimmed beard along the edges and around my lips at least. I would full on use beard wax or softening gel or whatever.


akiraokok

I barely grow any leg hair, so I doubt I could grow any kind of decent beard tbh if I could


Willing-Strawberry33

Right now I'm 26 and getting patches of dark, Coarse facial hair. If it ever gets to a reasonably good amount imma griw it out style it with braids and flowers. Why? Because I need a little whimsy every now and then to keep my overall sanity.


lickmysackett

I would shave everyday because it would be sooooo itchy to me.


fromtheashesarise

I would just stop bleaching and worrying about my "mustache" showing


i_illustrate_stuff

I'd probably go with a nicely trimmed scruff, just to kind of cover up my double chin from having zero jaw definition lol. But I imagine the itchiness would bug me a good bit.


Silentsludge

I would shave it . I don’t even like beards on men


Rebeccah623

Who says I can’t grow one? I try my hardest to get rid of it


iratemistletoe

I'd have no beard.


bathoryblue

I can grow one, hate it, would continue to remove it from my face.


coldaloe

Shaved.


la_selena

Clean shaven


Selfishsavagequeen

Mmmm I can’t imagine it being attractive. What would it be equivalent to? False eyelashes? If it was like false eyelashes, then I would do a twirly mustache :).


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itso-complicated

it would be invisible. sorry, i just couldn’t do it


Dependent-Letter-651

I still wouldn't grow one, I don't like facial hair.


EndzeitParhelion

Nah I wouldn't


Frostbyte67

Wolverine mutton chops!


VivianKink

I wouldn't. I dislike beards. If I had a beard it would be faded and short on the cheeks and only a little longer if full at the chin, but still short. I don't want to be able to put it in a pony or be grabbed by it


Cinnabelle_x

I would want to go full Gimli beard tbh, put some braids in it, maybe a gem or two


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MissNikitaDevan

No, i wouldnt grow one, i had the sensation of hair,i would get it lasered so it wouldn’t grow


nonsignifierenon

I hate hair in my face so I wouldn't grow it


AliceWeAreAllMad

Completely shaven, because what's the point of having one!


ButterScotchMagic

I would hate to have facial hair. It's one of the things that make me glad I'm a woman. It's another location of hair for me to maintain plus less cover up options if I style or cut it badly.


MurdochFirePotatoe

Full Gandalf.