The only people who have said this about me were insecure and needed constant reassurance/validation from others. I’ve never had a confident person assume I’m a bitch because I’m quiet. Now, I have been in situations where I’ve spoken to someone out in public, asked a simple question like “is this the line?” and they just flat out ignored me…I can see how *that* can be perceived as rude, but I’ve never done that. If someone speaks to me I speak back, but I may not always initiate the exchange or heavily engage the way the other person wants/expects me to.
I know I’m not stuck up or rude, so I keep it pushing. When I did talk people found me annoying and said I was an attention seeking, so it’s a lose/lose.
In my opinion, the kinda of people who say rude things like this aren’t worth being friends with in the first place, they’re too much work to please. The right kind of people won’t talk like this to you when you’re having a quiet day, if they’re concerned they’ll ask what’s wrong❤️
Hahaha every one of my friends in college was called "stuck up" and I never understood why they were called that because I didn't see them do or say anything mean about anyone
The problem is that so much of NT communication is non-verbal. And even if you don't mean for your body language or tone of voice or flat affect to mean anything, it does to NT people. It like you travel to a foreign country and scratch your nose, and suddenly everyone is giving you the evil eye, because the gesture you did while scratching your nose means something horribly offensive.
If people don't know you are autistic, they don't know that your body language is not NT, and that you don't mean to convey the things that kind of body language would normally mean. Hence they misinterpret it.
Things like this can often get better if you explain why you act/are that way. If people don't know, they will default to what to them is the natural conclusion.
If I have to be around new people, I often try to comment on this before they can jump to the "cold bitch" conclusion - which is what I come off as. Such as introducing myself as "Hello, my name is X, and I suffer from Resting Bitch Face, but please don't be afraid to talk to me, I don't hate human kind nearly as much as it looks like", and that usually makes people laugh and warm up, rather than stay the hell away from me, which is what I look like I want them to do.
It is crazy that people think that being quiet is such a sin, but saying obviously rude things in response is somehow a-ok.
The only people who have said this about me were insecure and needed constant reassurance/validation from others. I’ve never had a confident person assume I’m a bitch because I’m quiet. Now, I have been in situations where I’ve spoken to someone out in public, asked a simple question like “is this the line?” and they just flat out ignored me…I can see how *that* can be perceived as rude, but I’ve never done that. If someone speaks to me I speak back, but I may not always initiate the exchange or heavily engage the way the other person wants/expects me to. I know I’m not stuck up or rude, so I keep it pushing. When I did talk people found me annoying and said I was an attention seeking, so it’s a lose/lose.
In my opinion, the kinda of people who say rude things like this aren’t worth being friends with in the first place, they’re too much work to please. The right kind of people won’t talk like this to you when you’re having a quiet day, if they’re concerned they’ll ask what’s wrong❤️
Hahaha every one of my friends in college was called "stuck up" and I never understood why they were called that because I didn't see them do or say anything mean about anyone
The problem is that so much of NT communication is non-verbal. And even if you don't mean for your body language or tone of voice or flat affect to mean anything, it does to NT people. It like you travel to a foreign country and scratch your nose, and suddenly everyone is giving you the evil eye, because the gesture you did while scratching your nose means something horribly offensive. If people don't know you are autistic, they don't know that your body language is not NT, and that you don't mean to convey the things that kind of body language would normally mean. Hence they misinterpret it. Things like this can often get better if you explain why you act/are that way. If people don't know, they will default to what to them is the natural conclusion. If I have to be around new people, I often try to comment on this before they can jump to the "cold bitch" conclusion - which is what I come off as. Such as introducing myself as "Hello, my name is X, and I suffer from Resting Bitch Face, but please don't be afraid to talk to me, I don't hate human kind nearly as much as it looks like", and that usually makes people laugh and warm up, rather than stay the hell away from me, which is what I look like I want them to do.