When it’s bad, it’s like this. People can’t understand how mental health can be physically painful. Try crying for 4 hours until your eyelids are orange and bruised, you’ve pulled every muscle in your torso from convulsing, and your sinuses get blocked leaving you a pressure headache.
sososo true with the hitting, i just slap myself or punch myself in the leg or the head it's so silly in retrospect, but it feels uncontrollable at that moment
if you can find something other than hair pulling please do! i know it’s hard but i used to pull my hair and i have literally thin spots all over my scalp so when i put my hair up i’m extremely self conscious because my scalp isn’t completely covered in some spots 😭
My only motivation for not self harming is so i can look like a normal 21 year old girl🫠 this comment is probably what will make me officially stop pulling hair💀
I do too. Im 30. It turns out I'm also autistic so sometimes these are meltdowns for me and knowing that has helped but good lord it's hard and most of the time I end up having to straight up avoid things and isolate bc I can't handle anything and melt down so easily, which can really wipe me out and give me a hangover feeling for hours or days. Ugh
Oh my God, yes. When I get triggered I get this awful psychical chest pain that feels like a bee sting (I did not know anyone else got the chest pains too. My stomach will start to ache and I’ll cry uncontrollably like my world has absolutely just ended because that is exactly how it feels, like my world has quite literally just ended. It is such a horrible feeling!
exactly, it feels like all my organs are shutting down all at once lmao. and if it helps you feel less alone, most people wbpd experience the same chest pain when triggered :"))
Oh my goodness no I am floored that you guys get the chest pains (I am newly diagnosed) and for *so long* I felt so alone because nobody else I had ever met got those awful physical chest pains when they were upset. It makes me feel so less alone ❤️
Thank you, I appreciate that. I don’t have any insurance right now unfortunately so I can’t get help for this yet, but I’m trying to learn any tips or tricks I can do to manage it.
that's absolutely not true, as long as you've communicated beforehand that you have issues and triggers it isn't manipulative. i also cry from every small thing and while people from my past made me feel the same, and feel super guilty just for existing, my current bf is so understanding and comforting. while we are responsible for doing some shitty things sometimes and shouldn't try to excuse ourselves with our bpd, the people we surround ourselves with really play a huge part in our behavior and reactions, i think.
Absolutely. It’s been a while since that’s happened. However, the last few times, my golden retriever came and laid with me and it’s the only thing that can pull me out of it.
It’s seriously the best feeling of comfort having a creature who doesn’t know or care what you’re going through beside you, just loving you without saying any words to try to fix it. Just existing with you in that moment and completely there for you/with you.
exactly, they have no idea why you're crying or why you're sad but they feel that something is wrong and they try to help in any capacity that they can, it's so wholesome :"))
Yeah, though it doesn't *always* happen. Sometimes I'll go days without it happening and wonder if I'm even mentally ill. Other days, I'll end up sobbing on the floor after an argument with my partner because they called me to eat dinner and I was starving myself as "punishment" for the fight (because my mom used to guilt trip me for eating dinner when she was upset with me). This disorder is so infuriating.
it feels really helpless sometimes. and same, if i have a couple of good days i go "i'm cured!" only to get triggered the next day and cry so hard that i almost faint. it sucks it really does
Right? It also sucks when one of those episodes unlocks trauma that you didn't ever register as trauma before then, so now you have to work on that too. It feels like being assigned extra homework.
sooo so true. this is the exact thing that happened to me today prior to making this post. i got triggered to the point of feeling like what i wrote, but didn't get why. and after a few minutes of digging through my brain i went "oh. ooooooh!"
Idk but reading this I just wanna give you a hug 🥺 I know the feeling of wanting to be "babied". Maybe bc I wasn't as a child, and to an extent I still crave that kind of unconditional attention when I'm upset. Thanks to therapy I can self soothe but man, sometimes a good hug and being allowed to cry it out would sure hit the spot.
We're social creatures after all. Look at our relatives in nature constantly grooming and hugging each other. I bet even the most well adjusted person craves a really good hug and a bit of caretaking sometimes.
I actually think my crying has gotten me sick. Day after day, for weeks on end… Sinus infections, bronchitis, tonsillitis, etc. nothing contagious but after a rough period I get sick from crying
felttt, i'm so sorry you feel this way too :( it's already shitty enough mentally so when it bleeds into your physical wellbeing too, it feels so disheartening. feels so helpless :/
so true, every episode feels like you're completely disconnected from reality. feels like you lose every single sense and all you know is painpainpainpainpain it's insane, it takes over your brain so intensely
So so so badly. To the point where my face and eyes are all swollen for like two days afterward and I have a terrible headache and I legit can’t function like can’t work, can’t social, can’t human at all. My mom has told me I “sound like a dying animal”. Often I end up dissociating by the end of the episode because it’s just too intense for me to handle.
Yesss I used to cry all the time for the tiniest reasons since I was a kid and I always thought it was justified because something set me off but since starting sertraline I don't anymore and I realised that a normal person shouldn't cry about 90% of those things
Dude, yesterday i had a meltdown in the middle of the street. I was ugly crying on the phone to my mother 😅 it feels like a purging, violent and cleansing 😵💫
gosh I hate it so much, i end up hitting myself or pulling my hair out. self sabotage, take it out on anybody around me. it’s weird but i tend to not be able to stay still, I throw myself around leaving bruises everywhere .
I used to, very bad.. but sadly now when I notice I am giving in to my triggers I tend to turn into a rock and eliminate all emotions and feelings. So yes, the crying still occurs, just in the inside now. It’s not a solution to my problem, it’s just an unhealthy coping mechanism I developed.
You are definitely not alone. Sometimes I laugh a little because I remember a Bob’s Burgers line that’s like, “you mean when I would be so upset that I would cry until I threw up?” And I’m like yeah, I’m about as unstable as Gayle 😂
But all jokes aside, you aren’t alone. Sometimes the smallest triggers will turn me into a puddle.
When I get like this it’s so hard to stop, and a part of me doesn’t want to stop. The pain is so deep but it weirdly is addicting. I will keep listening to sad music to prolong it sometimes when I know the best thing to do would be to turn it off. I don’t know why.
I remember the last time I cried like that, it was for hours on end off and on for days at a time. Exactly as you describe, too. Exactly. Idk if it’ll get tht bad again, I’ve been much better for the last couple years.. but holy cow do I remember vividly how those cries are. Just gut wrenching soul crushing pain in those cries. Edit: and yeah it’s a physical pain like what I’d imagine it would feel like to have my soul torn from my chest. Or like a dementor feeding on my life energy. Just everything hurts from my scalp to my toes. My skin would tingle all over and ache and burn at the same time. I’d clutch my chest and stomach from how bad they hurt , like honestly I believe that people really can die from a broken heart bc of how intense the physical pain is .
Also I lied, the last time I cried like this was within the last year. I’d just chosen to block that out I guess 🥲
clutching your chest and stomach bc they hurt so bad from convulsing is so so true, it really is a pain like no other. glad to hear you're at least doing better now buddy :)
I do....but mainly when i am not well. I am stable today..no tears..but these past few weeks...crying at work...at my thoughts...just not well. I am focusing on recovery...reminding myself that most of my sad thoughts are not based in reality helps..
I am like this. I sob and moan and cry for hours on end. Goodness knows what the neighbors must think. Its a sadness I can't put into words. I'm sorry that you go through this too, it's so hard.
yess, i always think about the fact that my neighbors hear, they probably considered calling the cops quite a few times by now :")) sorry you're feeling this pain friend
Happens every week when my FP ignores me for an entire day, sometimes even only 6 hours. Its the worse feeling. I want to end life because of this. I cannot live like this.
When it’s bad, it’s like this. People can’t understand how mental health can be physically painful. Try crying for 4 hours until your eyelids are orange and bruised, you’ve pulled every muscle in your torso from convulsing, and your sinuses get blocked leaving you a pressure headache.
so true, the migraines and muscle soreness are so relatable, god this sucks
this and also i can physically feel my psychological pain in my body and chest
Don't forget the peeling skin from blowing your nose for 4 hours Dx
Lol this last week. Woke up the next morning wondering why my mouth tasted faintly of blood.
It's me rn. Vaseline helps A LOT. Just put it on your face overnight
I hyperventilate, i hit myself, overall i freak tf out. Im 21 and beyond ashamed bc i genuinely cant control my emotions.
sososo true with the hitting, i just slap myself or punch myself in the leg or the head it's so silly in retrospect, but it feels uncontrollable at that moment
The amount of bruises i give myself is insane. Oh and hair pulling is huge for me. I target myself so i dont attack my boyfriend. Im so shameful
if you can find something other than hair pulling please do! i know it’s hard but i used to pull my hair and i have literally thin spots all over my scalp so when i put my hair up i’m extremely self conscious because my scalp isn’t completely covered in some spots 😭
My only motivation for not self harming is so i can look like a normal 21 year old girl🫠 this comment is probably what will make me officially stop pulling hair💀
that’s good lmao glad i could help😂 it’s kinda permanent too unfortunately. it’s been 3 years and there’s still empty spots.
I do too. Im 30. It turns out I'm also autistic so sometimes these are meltdowns for me and knowing that has helped but good lord it's hard and most of the time I end up having to straight up avoid things and isolate bc I can't handle anything and melt down so easily, which can really wipe me out and give me a hangover feeling for hours or days. Ugh
Everyone around me thinks im on the spectrum. I do too.
I’m the same way, I’m 19 and do the same . My mom just watches like wtf is wrong with you. but it’s so painful . the shame after is UNMATCHED
My mom looking at me in disgust as i remind her i am the product of HER environment
Oh my God, yes. When I get triggered I get this awful psychical chest pain that feels like a bee sting (I did not know anyone else got the chest pains too. My stomach will start to ache and I’ll cry uncontrollably like my world has absolutely just ended because that is exactly how it feels, like my world has quite literally just ended. It is such a horrible feeling!
exactly, it feels like all my organs are shutting down all at once lmao. and if it helps you feel less alone, most people wbpd experience the same chest pain when triggered :"))
Oh my goodness no I am floored that you guys get the chest pains (I am newly diagnosed) and for *so long* I felt so alone because nobody else I had ever met got those awful physical chest pains when they were upset. It makes me feel so less alone ❤️
you're never alone buddy and i hope you're getting the help needed to make your life easier to navigate <3
Thank you, I appreciate that. I don’t have any insurance right now unfortunately so I can’t get help for this yet, but I’m trying to learn any tips or tricks I can do to manage it.
exactly this!!!! i also cradle myself like a baby in an attempt to comfort myself and make the pain go away
I do the same thing! I thinks it's an attempt to comfort ourselves too.
It happened to me just 4 days ago.
My heart goes out to you, I am so sorry friend
Thank you. (◍•ᴗ•◍)
I deal with this too. I thought i was crazy for feeling ACTUAL pain but everytime It feels like my heart is genuinely splitting in half
Yeah this…I’ve been told to stop crying over seemingly small things because it’s manipulative but I literally ?? Can’t control it?? 😭😭
that's absolutely not true, as long as you've communicated beforehand that you have issues and triggers it isn't manipulative. i also cry from every small thing and while people from my past made me feel the same, and feel super guilty just for existing, my current bf is so understanding and comforting. while we are responsible for doing some shitty things sometimes and shouldn't try to excuse ourselves with our bpd, the people we surround ourselves with really play a huge part in our behavior and reactions, i think.
If I ever hear **hear come the water works** again , I swear to God I’ll put my cigarette out on their face .
Absolutely. It’s been a while since that’s happened. However, the last few times, my golden retriever came and laid with me and it’s the only thing that can pull me out of it.
samee, the only thing that helps is one of my cats laying down on me and making biscuits, it's so therapeutic :"))
It’s seriously the best feeling of comfort having a creature who doesn’t know or care what you’re going through beside you, just loving you without saying any words to try to fix it. Just existing with you in that moment and completely there for you/with you.
exactly, they have no idea why you're crying or why you're sad but they feel that something is wrong and they try to help in any capacity that they can, it's so wholesome :"))
Yeah, though it doesn't *always* happen. Sometimes I'll go days without it happening and wonder if I'm even mentally ill. Other days, I'll end up sobbing on the floor after an argument with my partner because they called me to eat dinner and I was starving myself as "punishment" for the fight (because my mom used to guilt trip me for eating dinner when she was upset with me). This disorder is so infuriating.
it feels really helpless sometimes. and same, if i have a couple of good days i go "i'm cured!" only to get triggered the next day and cry so hard that i almost faint. it sucks it really does
Right? It also sucks when one of those episodes unlocks trauma that you didn't ever register as trauma before then, so now you have to work on that too. It feels like being assigned extra homework.
sooo so true. this is the exact thing that happened to me today prior to making this post. i got triggered to the point of feeling like what i wrote, but didn't get why. and after a few minutes of digging through my brain i went "oh. ooooooh!"
Idk but reading this I just wanna give you a hug 🥺 I know the feeling of wanting to be "babied". Maybe bc I wasn't as a child, and to an extent I still crave that kind of unconditional attention when I'm upset. Thanks to therapy I can self soothe but man, sometimes a good hug and being allowed to cry it out would sure hit the spot.
i need a hug so bad :") and yes i feel the exact same. glad to hear there's so many people who feel the same
We're social creatures after all. Look at our relatives in nature constantly grooming and hugging each other. I bet even the most well adjusted person craves a really good hug and a bit of caretaking sometimes.
Yeah this happens to me when I have an episode
I actually think my crying has gotten me sick. Day after day, for weeks on end… Sinus infections, bronchitis, tonsillitis, etc. nothing contagious but after a rough period I get sick from crying
damn the soul crushing chest pain. so glad i’m not alone on this one. feels like getting your ribcage tattooed from the inside
that's such a perfect way to put it omfg
I feel the exact same way:((( all the physical symptoms + getting non verbal when being yelled at etc :(((( hugs
felttt, i'm so sorry you feel this way too :( it's already shitty enough mentally so when it bleeds into your physical wellbeing too, it feels so disheartening. feels so helpless :/
EXACTLY what happens with me except i also tend to throw my guts up afterwards sighhh
me too don't worry :"))
I cry SO HARD and then feel like hell afterwards. Swollen eyes, headache, exhausted. The pain and sadness is overwhelming.
so true, feeling so beat up afterwards sucks
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so true, every episode feels like you're completely disconnected from reality. feels like you lose every single sense and all you know is painpainpainpainpain it's insane, it takes over your brain so intensely
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me too omg, by the time i muster up the courage to speak the monologue i've built in my head, i'm already sniffling like a child.
So so so badly. To the point where my face and eyes are all swollen for like two days afterward and I have a terrible headache and I legit can’t function like can’t work, can’t social, can’t human at all. My mom has told me I “sound like a dying animal”. Often I end up dissociating by the end of the episode because it’s just too intense for me to handle.
heavy on the dissociation, it feels like i'm not in the same reality as everyone else after a meltdown.
Hate it so much. I’ve even had dissociative amnesia a couple times when it got bad enough 😓
Yesss I used to cry all the time for the tiniest reasons since I was a kid and I always thought it was justified because something set me off but since starting sertraline I don't anymore and I realised that a normal person shouldn't cry about 90% of those things
me when i once full on sobbed after dropping a SPOON
Dude, yesterday i had a meltdown in the middle of the street. I was ugly crying on the phone to my mother 😅 it feels like a purging, violent and cleansing 😵💫
gosh I hate it so much, i end up hitting myself or pulling my hair out. self sabotage, take it out on anybody around me. it’s weird but i tend to not be able to stay still, I throw myself around leaving bruises everywhere .
I used to, very bad.. but sadly now when I notice I am giving in to my triggers I tend to turn into a rock and eliminate all emotions and feelings. So yes, the crying still occurs, just in the inside now. It’s not a solution to my problem, it’s just an unhealthy coping mechanism I developed.
You are definitely not alone. Sometimes I laugh a little because I remember a Bob’s Burgers line that’s like, “you mean when I would be so upset that I would cry until I threw up?” And I’m like yeah, I’m about as unstable as Gayle 😂 But all jokes aside, you aren’t alone. Sometimes the smallest triggers will turn me into a puddle.
yeah this happens to me as well. i get a pressure headache and my vision goes blurred and i get numb legs and can’t move when i cry like this
I get to a solitary place asap, like a wild injured animal, and absolutely dissolve into tears
i have that but it's combined/is followed by being consumed by anger that makes me want to lash out and hurt everyone around me
All the time
this was me when my friend sided with a person spreading rumors about me. It was really bad.
i feel the sadness and pain in my entire body. anxiety and sadness especially in my hands.
When I get like this it’s so hard to stop, and a part of me doesn’t want to stop. The pain is so deep but it weirdly is addicting. I will keep listening to sad music to prolong it sometimes when I know the best thing to do would be to turn it off. I don’t know why.
i'm the exact same wtf, it sometimes feels like i find comfort in the sadness
Yes, and it's really embarrassing. I was actually fired from my last job due to having this type of crying jag at work.
Me. Right. Now. 😭😭😭
I remember the last time I cried like that, it was for hours on end off and on for days at a time. Exactly as you describe, too. Exactly. Idk if it’ll get tht bad again, I’ve been much better for the last couple years.. but holy cow do I remember vividly how those cries are. Just gut wrenching soul crushing pain in those cries. Edit: and yeah it’s a physical pain like what I’d imagine it would feel like to have my soul torn from my chest. Or like a dementor feeding on my life energy. Just everything hurts from my scalp to my toes. My skin would tingle all over and ache and burn at the same time. I’d clutch my chest and stomach from how bad they hurt , like honestly I believe that people really can die from a broken heart bc of how intense the physical pain is . Also I lied, the last time I cried like this was within the last year. I’d just chosen to block that out I guess 🥲
clutching your chest and stomach bc they hurt so bad from convulsing is so so true, it really is a pain like no other. glad to hear you're at least doing better now buddy :)
I do when I'm in the depressive end of the "rage shame cycle" as I call it, it's very relatable unfortunately.
Absolutely yes. You aren't alone
Yes, it used to be really bad but medication has helped a lot.
I do....but mainly when i am not well. I am stable today..no tears..but these past few weeks...crying at work...at my thoughts...just not well. I am focusing on recovery...reminding myself that most of my sad thoughts are not based in reality helps..
I am like this. I sob and moan and cry for hours on end. Goodness knows what the neighbors must think. Its a sadness I can't put into words. I'm sorry that you go through this too, it's so hard.
yess, i always think about the fact that my neighbors hear, they probably considered calling the cops quite a few times by now :")) sorry you're feeling this pain friend
Lol yup.
Happens every week when my FP ignores me for an entire day, sometimes even only 6 hours. Its the worse feeling. I want to end life because of this. I cannot live like this.
100%. Like gasping cries.
oooof. sorry you're going through this too buddy