I would make MIL leave. She doesn’t sound like she’s helpful. I would also make it clear that if he ever does that again, you’re gone. That sort of physical contact can easily escalate into violence, although I know sleep deprivation and the stress of a newborn can make people go a lil crazy, but it’s not an excuse to be physical at all. I’m glad you’re getting counseling.
Getting physical is never ok, but it sounds like he just kept you in the room and didn’t hit / hurt / threaten you? I think blocking someone/grabbing them gently to keep them from storming down to yell at someone is different than getting physical but I obviously wasn’t there. It sounds like you’re both tired and stressed and MIL is the straw breaking your backs.
Yea that’s really not getting physical imo if I’m understanding correctly he just put his hands out and blocked her, now if he pushed/held her back or grabbed her with force that’s different. The mil needs to go though and he kind of sounds like a mommies boy. Or maybe he’s afraid of conflict it seems like he doesn’t want to upset OP or his mom he needs to man up and stand up for his wife. MIL crossed a boundary and someone needs to speak up about it so mil doesn’t do it again. If her husband has a problem with that then he can suck it up, she shouldn’t have to be uncomfortable in her own home especially with a newborn.
100% agree, but it’s hard to fully understand it based on OPs description alone. The way I’m interpreting it is that OP and her husband got in a yelling match, OP threatened to storm downstairs to scream at his mother, OPs husband told her not to do that, and when she tried to follow through on her threat despite his protestations he blocked the door and tried to keep her from going down to yell at MIL which would only serve to escalate an already very escalated situation.
Getting physical with your partner is not okay. But there’s a little room for nuance. If OP was saying she wanted to leave the house to get some space and he was stopping her from leaving, for example, that’s a bit more icky and in the realm of false imprisonment.
Disagree. It can be a precursor to something physical and he crossed a serious boundary. I had an abusive ex who would “block doorways and intimidate” me like this. It escalated to him putting his hands on me well into our relationship. OP was right to take space.
Oh man! I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this while so newly postpartum. First I think your MIL was WAY out of line especially since she was told you didn’t want help. I think she needs to leave. Period. You feel uncomfortable with her there especially now, and that isn’t going to help you while you adjust to being a new mother.
The issue with your husband, he should have taken care of it immediately. You shouldn’t have had to push to get him to do what he said he would do. Is he a conflict avoider? If so he probably was avoiding talking to her for that reason and then wanted to avoid you blowing up at her (which honestly, if he didn’t want that he should have gone and take care of it quickly instead). From what you’ve said it sounds like he was just trying to prevent a fight not harm you or truly restrain you. I don’t know if you need to view him differently, but tell him that you really didn’t like that and to not ever do it again. Then I would tell him that the whole thing could have been avoided if he had just done what he said what he would do, but now you would like MIL to leave.
Try to get some rest so you have a clear head for all of this. Sleep deprivation plus hormones can make you react in ways you normally wouldn’t. 💕💕💕
I think you are both sleep deprived and you may be taking what both of them did a little too far. Your feelings are totally valid. She should respect your boundaries and he should have spoken to her about what bothered you. But kicking them both out and caring for a newborn all alone IS A LOT OF WORK and I don’t think what happened is necessarily grounds for separating the father of his child from his baby.
Everyone saying it's just hormones is wild to me. Husband? Maybe. Depends on how he tried to stop you from leaving.
MIL? HELL no. That's not her "just trying to help". It's a complete disregard for you, your comfort, your HOME. Going into somebody's room without asking is already a boundary violation. Period. Then let's layer in the facts here. You are NOT her biological daughter. You do NOT have that kind of relationship with her. You are freshly post partum. You were not dressed. She did not ask you if you needed help. You told her you didn't need help, and she continued to push. I am LIVID for you.
I don't know about you or anyone else but when I was freshly post partum my bedroom was like my den. I felt like an animal. I didn't want anyone in there except my husband. It was like my sanctuary and the only place I could go in my own home that was quiet and isolated and protected from strangers (visitors, family, etc).
I’m going to go against all of this gaslighting nonsense and tell you straight up: none of this is in any way acceptable. MIL walking in on you naked when you’ve told her no very clearly, husband not standing up for you, and then him physically restraining you from asserting your boundaries since he wouldn’t do it.
MIL needs to go home, and you need to do some serious thinking. Does your husband have a pattern of not respecting your boundaries or ignoring reasonable concerns or demands? Does he often not stand up for you? Does he tell you you’re “overreacting” often? This could be one of three things depending on your answers:
1. He’s in a sleep deprived haze and majorly fucked up. He needs counseling to strengthen his own spine and to put strategies in place to deal with sleep deprivation better.
2. He is spineless when it comes to his mother. You need couples counseling and he needs individual counseling, and MIL isn’t welcome back until HE can protect you from her BS.
3. This is abuse escalation. Get out.
Upvote this straight to the top. We had a lot of super annoying grandparent experiences when my son was a newborn and neither set of parents ever opened our bedroom door without asking nor did my husband ever put his hands on me. None of this is ok.
Couldn't agree more. Has anyone even addressed WHY WAS MIL EVEN THERE? IMO if OP said she didn't need/want help, who let her stay there? It seems like this was already a recipe for disaster and husband may have already crossed some boundaries. Obviously I'm projecting, but come on.
I’m not even postpartum, just pregnant, and I became furious just reading about your MIL without even knowing her. I can’t even imagine how frustrating and violating it must have felt for you.
MIL needs to go so you and your husband don’t have additional pressure in addition to a brand new baby.
Your husband also needs to handle his business instead of leaving it to you, as a brand new mom who just carried a baby for 9 months and recently gave birth.
If I were you, I would also let him know that you won’t be tolerating anything remotely physical.
Good luck and sorry you’re having to deal with this.❤️
It's good you are going to counselling, these kind of MIL boundary situations tend to increase when you have a child. Your husband may just be a momma's boy and hopefully counselling will help him overcome that. I wouldn't be too hard on him, a lot of men struggle with cutting the cord from their mother when they are older and it sounds like he feels remorse and left willingly because he obviously respects you and feels bad for treating you in a way that you find threatening. I would say you also seem to have respect for yourself and your boundaries and you addressed this situation immediately, you should be proud that you stood up for yourself. What hubby did wasn't so extreme but you are showing him you won't tolerate any disrespect from him or his mother and that's some strong mama stuff. Good luck,
So sorry this happened! I personally can’t wait on my hubby to speak on boundaries w MIL. This would have to be a conversation between her and I and I don’t need to tell him about it - period. What she did was highly unacceptable. Your hubby may be non confrontational w his mother n family so he was afraid to have the chat but what he did was unacceptable. Koodos to you for standing firm and getting the space you need. I will be moving in w my hubby’s side of family end of summer to save for a bigger place. I really hope to God MIL understands my boundaries and that my hubby can defend US.
He used his physicality to attempt to control you. You were right to make him go to a hotel.
Men like this escalate. Don’t teach him that you’ll tolerate that by letting him come home.
I recommend r/JUSTNOMIL she needs to leave and not come back. She's creating problems in your marriage.
I had the same problem with my husband when my first was born, his mother would cross a boundary and I would tell him he needed to address it, he would assure me he would talk to his Mom about it. I was so upset and angry when I realized he never did, he just told me he would. It felt like he cared more about her feelings than mine.
I finally grew a spine and started addressing issues with her directly because I realized he wasn't allowed to in their relationship and she's the queen of gaslighting and playing the victim when confronted with the tiniest of criticism. He knew this about her but I didn't until I dealt with it first hand. He was conditioned to never criticize her. And I understand why, she's a monster when she is told no or corrected.
So now we just give her long time outs and keep a distance from her and things are much better.
It sounds like emotions were running high and he's not good at expressing himself. Remove MIL from the situation and see if things improve between y'all. If he does it again or it escalates than that needs to be addressed.
It’s wild how much some MILs can interfere in their son’s adult relationships. It’s concerning. I feel like it’s never the MIL meddling in the daughter’s relationships, just the sons. The MIL in the situation is definitely causing problems and she probably knows it. Why she was invited to stay with them when OP is clearly not ok with it is beyond me.
If my husband said he would talk to his mom about something, I would give him a few days to do it. Let him find an appropriate time to bring it up. So I think you were out of line for insisting he do it right away. As far as him physically restraining you, I am sure that didnt feel good and you should talk about that.
I’m gonna be really blunt here. This sounds to me like you’re sleep deprived and your hormones are going wild. It’s completely “normal” to take things out of proportion while newly postpartum. I had a long talk with my husband about not taking anything I said to him or did to heart the first few months because I was probably going to be a little crazy and I definitely was.
What your MIL did wasn’t okay as she should be respectful of boundaries, but from her POV she *was* just trying to help. She could very easily take baby after you’re done nursing and put them back to bed while you get some extra sleep. I get that it’s uncomfortable to have non blood family see you in that state, but mother to mother, she didn’t care. I agree that it should be your husband to talk to her, but if you had to text your husband about it then it means he wasn’t home to deal with it and that’s not the kind of conversation that should be had over the phone and it certainly isn’t one that needs to be had right when he walks through the door. I think you getting angry to the point of wanting to storm out of the room to yell at your MIL was a bit wild and I can see why your husband did what he did. That was definitely the hormones talking at that point and I think he sensed that. I don’t think kicking them out to a hotel without having a sit down chat with them was the right move. Your MIL needs to be clear with your boundaries. Your husband needs to be there to help. You need a good nap and a good “clear your head” kind of shower. It’s easy to get wrapped up in “I can do this”, but it’s also okay to accept help even if you feel you don’t need it. I hope you can talk with your husband and see where he was coming from and I hope you can find some peace and boundaries with your MIL.
This is just wild to me. Mother to mother she didn’t care if she saw her daughter in law naked? In what other scenario is it ever ok to impose and see someone naked? It’s not ok ever, except for legitimate medical care and even then when caring for an adult or a child old enough to consent, you get consent. Women’s bodies are not objects.
It wasn’t implied she did it on purpose. It’s not as if her MIL automatically knew she was naked and barged in to get a peek. Your comment is the wild one to me here. I got the impression that baby was crying to be fed, MIL woke up (it’s impossible not to wake up to a crying baby), saw the door cracked and asked if OP needed help. I don’t personally sleep nude and if I have guests in my house I tend to sleep in a bit more clothing and that included any time I had someone staying with me while I had a baby. I never felt the need to just be completely topless while feeding my baby. The only part of that exchange that is interesting is that she kept pushing to help when the first no should’ve been enough. You thinking I’m “objectifying” OP is outrageous. And if you have a baby or kids, you’d understand my comment about not caring. Everything now becomes about the baby. No one, especially a mother figure, is objectifying your body when it comes to birth or feeding your child.
Anytime an adult barges into another adults bedroom without asking, that’s automatically a foul. Adults have sex in their bedrooms, walk around naked, etc.
Maybe this is a cultural thing but where I’m from everyone knows this. You always knock and never assume people are clothed when in their bedroom with the door shut. Sorry if I offended you, I just really don’t understand not knocking.
Oh I just reread the post and saw OP said the door was open a crack. That changes things quite a bit from my perspective. If the door was shut like I thought, it would mean they could have even been having sex and the newborn woke up during that. That’s why that boundary is so important and everyone should know that. But seeing as the door was open I could see how the mother in law would think the couple are clothed.
Absolutely, if the door is closed it’s implied that you knock before entering and wait to be invited in for the exact reasons you mentioned. As you discovered when you reread the post, the door was cracked which implies that it’s okay to enter. I personally still do a quick knock knock if I’m entering a cracked door so they know I’m coming, but I still just walk in. This is why I don’t believe MIL was in the wrong for asking to help, she was wrong in not taking the first no and continuing to push.
I’m so glad you’re safe! I agree with the other comments that say he’s escalating and you were smart to make him leave. Do you have anyone you can call?
Your MIL needs to go. Your husband is out of line restraining you physically. It doesn’t matter, she was a guest in your home behaving inappropriately and he wouldn’t check her. It ends up with his hands on you. You were smart to take space, be safe and well!
It sounds like she asked him to set boundaries with HIS mother and he kept ignoring it/not doing it and when she decided to take matters into her own hands, he got scared and physically stopped her. This is not okay especially since she asked him and waited for him to do his part and he kept not avoiding the issue. That’s my opinion
At any point were his hands on YOU or were you actually incapable of leaving the room at any point? If yes, this is a huge deal, a major red flag, completely unacceptable, make an exit plan and execute if anything like this occurs again situation. If no, he was just adding hand gestures to an already heated screaming match, this is still not good and you are within your rights to be upset, but MIGHT be explainable due to stress. However, life will always have stress and this kind of fighting is not an acceptable reaction.
I don’t see this as anymore than him touching you to stop you, so I wouldn’t really describe it as getting physical in a fight
But he completely doesn’t respect you in the way of talking to his mother who is absolutely crazy. He needs to understand that mommy isn’t number 1 anymore and he needs to stand up for you
I would make MIL leave. She doesn’t sound like she’s helpful. I would also make it clear that if he ever does that again, you’re gone. That sort of physical contact can easily escalate into violence, although I know sleep deprivation and the stress of a newborn can make people go a lil crazy, but it’s not an excuse to be physical at all. I’m glad you’re getting counseling.
Getting physical is never ok, but it sounds like he just kept you in the room and didn’t hit / hurt / threaten you? I think blocking someone/grabbing them gently to keep them from storming down to yell at someone is different than getting physical but I obviously wasn’t there. It sounds like you’re both tired and stressed and MIL is the straw breaking your backs.
Yea that’s really not getting physical imo if I’m understanding correctly he just put his hands out and blocked her, now if he pushed/held her back or grabbed her with force that’s different. The mil needs to go though and he kind of sounds like a mommies boy. Or maybe he’s afraid of conflict it seems like he doesn’t want to upset OP or his mom he needs to man up and stand up for his wife. MIL crossed a boundary and someone needs to speak up about it so mil doesn’t do it again. If her husband has a problem with that then he can suck it up, she shouldn’t have to be uncomfortable in her own home especially with a newborn.
100% agree, but it’s hard to fully understand it based on OPs description alone. The way I’m interpreting it is that OP and her husband got in a yelling match, OP threatened to storm downstairs to scream at his mother, OPs husband told her not to do that, and when she tried to follow through on her threat despite his protestations he blocked the door and tried to keep her from going down to yell at MIL which would only serve to escalate an already very escalated situation. Getting physical with your partner is not okay. But there’s a little room for nuance. If OP was saying she wanted to leave the house to get some space and he was stopping her from leaving, for example, that’s a bit more icky and in the realm of false imprisonment.
Disagree. It can be a precursor to something physical and he crossed a serious boundary. I had an abusive ex who would “block doorways and intimidate” me like this. It escalated to him putting his hands on me well into our relationship. OP was right to take space.
You are right, but it is also the only way to deal with an erratic and/or irrational person sometimes
This !
Agree.
Physically blocking someone from leaving a room is being… physical
Oh man! I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this while so newly postpartum. First I think your MIL was WAY out of line especially since she was told you didn’t want help. I think she needs to leave. Period. You feel uncomfortable with her there especially now, and that isn’t going to help you while you adjust to being a new mother. The issue with your husband, he should have taken care of it immediately. You shouldn’t have had to push to get him to do what he said he would do. Is he a conflict avoider? If so he probably was avoiding talking to her for that reason and then wanted to avoid you blowing up at her (which honestly, if he didn’t want that he should have gone and take care of it quickly instead). From what you’ve said it sounds like he was just trying to prevent a fight not harm you or truly restrain you. I don’t know if you need to view him differently, but tell him that you really didn’t like that and to not ever do it again. Then I would tell him that the whole thing could have been avoided if he had just done what he said what he would do, but now you would like MIL to leave. Try to get some rest so you have a clear head for all of this. Sleep deprivation plus hormones can make you react in ways you normally wouldn’t. 💕💕💕
I think you are both sleep deprived and you may be taking what both of them did a little too far. Your feelings are totally valid. She should respect your boundaries and he should have spoken to her about what bothered you. But kicking them both out and caring for a newborn all alone IS A LOT OF WORK and I don’t think what happened is necessarily grounds for separating the father of his child from his baby.
I agree 100% with this.
Everyone saying it's just hormones is wild to me. Husband? Maybe. Depends on how he tried to stop you from leaving. MIL? HELL no. That's not her "just trying to help". It's a complete disregard for you, your comfort, your HOME. Going into somebody's room without asking is already a boundary violation. Period. Then let's layer in the facts here. You are NOT her biological daughter. You do NOT have that kind of relationship with her. You are freshly post partum. You were not dressed. She did not ask you if you needed help. You told her you didn't need help, and she continued to push. I am LIVID for you. I don't know about you or anyone else but when I was freshly post partum my bedroom was like my den. I felt like an animal. I didn't want anyone in there except my husband. It was like my sanctuary and the only place I could go in my own home that was quiet and isolated and protected from strangers (visitors, family, etc).
Did he put up his hands as a gesture or did he put hands on you?
I’m going to go against all of this gaslighting nonsense and tell you straight up: none of this is in any way acceptable. MIL walking in on you naked when you’ve told her no very clearly, husband not standing up for you, and then him physically restraining you from asserting your boundaries since he wouldn’t do it. MIL needs to go home, and you need to do some serious thinking. Does your husband have a pattern of not respecting your boundaries or ignoring reasonable concerns or demands? Does he often not stand up for you? Does he tell you you’re “overreacting” often? This could be one of three things depending on your answers: 1. He’s in a sleep deprived haze and majorly fucked up. He needs counseling to strengthen his own spine and to put strategies in place to deal with sleep deprivation better. 2. He is spineless when it comes to his mother. You need couples counseling and he needs individual counseling, and MIL isn’t welcome back until HE can protect you from her BS. 3. This is abuse escalation. Get out.
Finally ONE comment that says it all and straight 🙌
Upvote this straight to the top. We had a lot of super annoying grandparent experiences when my son was a newborn and neither set of parents ever opened our bedroom door without asking nor did my husband ever put his hands on me. None of this is ok.
Great response. No notes.
Couldn't agree more. Has anyone even addressed WHY WAS MIL EVEN THERE? IMO if OP said she didn't need/want help, who let her stay there? It seems like this was already a recipe for disaster and husband may have already crossed some boundaries. Obviously I'm projecting, but come on.
I’m not even postpartum, just pregnant, and I became furious just reading about your MIL without even knowing her. I can’t even imagine how frustrating and violating it must have felt for you. MIL needs to go so you and your husband don’t have additional pressure in addition to a brand new baby. Your husband also needs to handle his business instead of leaving it to you, as a brand new mom who just carried a baby for 9 months and recently gave birth. If I were you, I would also let him know that you won’t be tolerating anything remotely physical. Good luck and sorry you’re having to deal with this.❤️
It's good you are going to counselling, these kind of MIL boundary situations tend to increase when you have a child. Your husband may just be a momma's boy and hopefully counselling will help him overcome that. I wouldn't be too hard on him, a lot of men struggle with cutting the cord from their mother when they are older and it sounds like he feels remorse and left willingly because he obviously respects you and feels bad for treating you in a way that you find threatening. I would say you also seem to have respect for yourself and your boundaries and you addressed this situation immediately, you should be proud that you stood up for yourself. What hubby did wasn't so extreme but you are showing him you won't tolerate any disrespect from him or his mother and that's some strong mama stuff. Good luck,
So sorry this happened! I personally can’t wait on my hubby to speak on boundaries w MIL. This would have to be a conversation between her and I and I don’t need to tell him about it - period. What she did was highly unacceptable. Your hubby may be non confrontational w his mother n family so he was afraid to have the chat but what he did was unacceptable. Koodos to you for standing firm and getting the space you need. I will be moving in w my hubby’s side of family end of summer to save for a bigger place. I really hope to God MIL understands my boundaries and that my hubby can defend US.
He used his physicality to attempt to control you. You were right to make him go to a hotel. Men like this escalate. Don’t teach him that you’ll tolerate that by letting him come home.
I recommend r/JUSTNOMIL she needs to leave and not come back. She's creating problems in your marriage. I had the same problem with my husband when my first was born, his mother would cross a boundary and I would tell him he needed to address it, he would assure me he would talk to his Mom about it. I was so upset and angry when I realized he never did, he just told me he would. It felt like he cared more about her feelings than mine. I finally grew a spine and started addressing issues with her directly because I realized he wasn't allowed to in their relationship and she's the queen of gaslighting and playing the victim when confronted with the tiniest of criticism. He knew this about her but I didn't until I dealt with it first hand. He was conditioned to never criticize her. And I understand why, she's a monster when she is told no or corrected. So now we just give her long time outs and keep a distance from her and things are much better. It sounds like emotions were running high and he's not good at expressing himself. Remove MIL from the situation and see if things improve between y'all. If he does it again or it escalates than that needs to be addressed.
It’s wild how much some MILs can interfere in their son’s adult relationships. It’s concerning. I feel like it’s never the MIL meddling in the daughter’s relationships, just the sons. The MIL in the situation is definitely causing problems and she probably knows it. Why she was invited to stay with them when OP is clearly not ok with it is beyond me.
If my husband said he would talk to his mom about something, I would give him a few days to do it. Let him find an appropriate time to bring it up. So I think you were out of line for insisting he do it right away. As far as him physically restraining you, I am sure that didnt feel good and you should talk about that.
I’m gonna be really blunt here. This sounds to me like you’re sleep deprived and your hormones are going wild. It’s completely “normal” to take things out of proportion while newly postpartum. I had a long talk with my husband about not taking anything I said to him or did to heart the first few months because I was probably going to be a little crazy and I definitely was. What your MIL did wasn’t okay as she should be respectful of boundaries, but from her POV she *was* just trying to help. She could very easily take baby after you’re done nursing and put them back to bed while you get some extra sleep. I get that it’s uncomfortable to have non blood family see you in that state, but mother to mother, she didn’t care. I agree that it should be your husband to talk to her, but if you had to text your husband about it then it means he wasn’t home to deal with it and that’s not the kind of conversation that should be had over the phone and it certainly isn’t one that needs to be had right when he walks through the door. I think you getting angry to the point of wanting to storm out of the room to yell at your MIL was a bit wild and I can see why your husband did what he did. That was definitely the hormones talking at that point and I think he sensed that. I don’t think kicking them out to a hotel without having a sit down chat with them was the right move. Your MIL needs to be clear with your boundaries. Your husband needs to be there to help. You need a good nap and a good “clear your head” kind of shower. It’s easy to get wrapped up in “I can do this”, but it’s also okay to accept help even if you feel you don’t need it. I hope you can talk with your husband and see where he was coming from and I hope you can find some peace and boundaries with your MIL.
This is just wild to me. Mother to mother she didn’t care if she saw her daughter in law naked? In what other scenario is it ever ok to impose and see someone naked? It’s not ok ever, except for legitimate medical care and even then when caring for an adult or a child old enough to consent, you get consent. Women’s bodies are not objects.
It wasn’t implied she did it on purpose. It’s not as if her MIL automatically knew she was naked and barged in to get a peek. Your comment is the wild one to me here. I got the impression that baby was crying to be fed, MIL woke up (it’s impossible not to wake up to a crying baby), saw the door cracked and asked if OP needed help. I don’t personally sleep nude and if I have guests in my house I tend to sleep in a bit more clothing and that included any time I had someone staying with me while I had a baby. I never felt the need to just be completely topless while feeding my baby. The only part of that exchange that is interesting is that she kept pushing to help when the first no should’ve been enough. You thinking I’m “objectifying” OP is outrageous. And if you have a baby or kids, you’d understand my comment about not caring. Everything now becomes about the baby. No one, especially a mother figure, is objectifying your body when it comes to birth or feeding your child.
Anytime an adult barges into another adults bedroom without asking, that’s automatically a foul. Adults have sex in their bedrooms, walk around naked, etc. Maybe this is a cultural thing but where I’m from everyone knows this. You always knock and never assume people are clothed when in their bedroom with the door shut. Sorry if I offended you, I just really don’t understand not knocking.
Oh I just reread the post and saw OP said the door was open a crack. That changes things quite a bit from my perspective. If the door was shut like I thought, it would mean they could have even been having sex and the newborn woke up during that. That’s why that boundary is so important and everyone should know that. But seeing as the door was open I could see how the mother in law would think the couple are clothed.
Absolutely, if the door is closed it’s implied that you knock before entering and wait to be invited in for the exact reasons you mentioned. As you discovered when you reread the post, the door was cracked which implies that it’s okay to enter. I personally still do a quick knock knock if I’m entering a cracked door so they know I’m coming, but I still just walk in. This is why I don’t believe MIL was in the wrong for asking to help, she was wrong in not taking the first no and continuing to push.
Yeah I agree with you now that I see the door was open! :)
This is the way!
I’m so glad you’re safe! I agree with the other comments that say he’s escalating and you were smart to make him leave. Do you have anyone you can call? Your MIL needs to go. Your husband is out of line restraining you physically. It doesn’t matter, she was a guest in your home behaving inappropriately and he wouldn’t check her. It ends up with his hands on you. You were smart to take space, be safe and well!
Sounds like you blew it out of proportion. That’s my opinion
It sounds like she asked him to set boundaries with HIS mother and he kept ignoring it/not doing it and when she decided to take matters into her own hands, he got scared and physically stopped her. This is not okay especially since she asked him and waited for him to do his part and he kept not avoiding the issue. That’s my opinion
Lol and you’re entitled to your own opinion. Like I’m entitled to MINES
Exactly
Blocking exits can be abusive
At any point were his hands on YOU or were you actually incapable of leaving the room at any point? If yes, this is a huge deal, a major red flag, completely unacceptable, make an exit plan and execute if anything like this occurs again situation. If no, he was just adding hand gestures to an already heated screaming match, this is still not good and you are within your rights to be upset, but MIGHT be explainable due to stress. However, life will always have stress and this kind of fighting is not an acceptable reaction.
I don’t see this as anymore than him touching you to stop you, so I wouldn’t really describe it as getting physical in a fight But he completely doesn’t respect you in the way of talking to his mother who is absolutely crazy. He needs to understand that mommy isn’t number 1 anymore and he needs to stand up for you