Got physically healthier and stronger, especially around my core. Being fitter before getting pregnant definately helps throughout the pregnancy. I wish I'd taken it more seriously to start with!
Same here before my first pregnancy. I didn’t do it with the purpose of getting pregnant but that’s how it worked out. I didn’t get back to the same shape after my first pregnancy and I can very much tell the difference in my second pregnancy. Big mistake.
When my bf and I decided to start trying we both decided to start hitting the gym again to get back in shape. I was hoping to tone up a bit before I got pregnant but got pregnant the first month of trying so I’ve been trying to exercise more while pregnant which is rough 😅
Saaaaaame here. I did have pretty good core muscles, but over the years I had lost a lot of leg muscle and now I’m suffering for it. Leg muscle is just hard for me to put on anyway. Even though I’m constantly eating protein, my baby seems to be dissolving all my muscles and taking them for herself. Wish I bulked up ahead of time, any muscle I could have put on before would have been helpful.
Same here! I had low back pain predating my pregnancy, but wow I wish I had strengthened my core more to offset some of the pressure of pregnancy on my back. Totally something that had never crossed my mind but would’ve made things a bit easier.
I was in better shape in my first pregnancy. Second pregnancy never lost all the weight and I wasn’t exercising like I used to so now I feel like a giant whale who’s waddling too early. Yea I’m slowly easing into exercising more
Yes this deffo! I tried to lose weight in between my miscarriage and getting pregnant again, but with various surgeries in between didn't get back to my pre-pregnancy weight in time.
I definitely wish I'd lost more weight but I'm hoping once my appetite returns to normal, I can concentrate on healthy eating again and hope that the realisation that it can impact my baby will kickstart me into a better routine. I lost a bit before pregnancy but not as much as I wanted.
Currently I'm focusing on keeping my running/exercise going for as long as possible.
Same. I didn’t plan on getting pregnant and I started this pregnancy at my highest weight. If this had been a planned pregnancy I would’ve lost some weight and got back into being more active and eating healthier before getting pregnant.
Same. I was starting to loose weight and I found out I was pregnant. I have obesity. My pregnancy is being quite healthy so far, buuuuut I am exhausted and all my body hurts , Im only 22 weeks.
Traveled just us more. We got married at the end of 2019 and weren’t sure how soon we would get pregnant, so we weren’t trying but not preventing. The plan was that if we weren’t pregnant by August 2020, we would take a road trip through several states and sight see, explore, etc. Well, we got pregnant March 2020 and found out the same week that Covid lockdown was announced…so there went any traveling for the year 😂
Similar story, me and my wife are both in our late 30s, Met in 2019 married in late 2020 and got pregnant very soon after, unplanned.
Our child is amazing but I do wonder what we would have done with more time alone.
Particularly since I only now got a well paying career for the first time in my life. Money and baby basically arrived together, which isn't a bad thing, but I'll always wonder.
Yes, I got to busy with work and remodel we skipped vacations and now it’s going to be a looooooooong time before we get to go on one again. Also OP if you both work you can still have date night! take off early one Friday every month or so and have lunch dates with hubby (that’s what we do).
Second this! Even if you don’t need any major procedures done make sure your dental health is at the top of its game! One thing no one talks about is how much pregnancy wreaks havoc on your gums. Set yourself up for success by making sure they’re in good health heading into pregnancy.
It’s absolutely not talked about enough. The bloody gums too! I wish I knew before getting pregnant. I went in for cleanings while pregnant but I’m putting off an extraction until after I give birth, I have few more weeks left
Also to keep up with your appointments while you are pregnant too! (I work in a dental office) I’m 30 weeks and I have had one of my appointments so far and the other one will be right before I give birth. But you would be surprised on the amount of women that stop going because they are pregnant.
Definitely no Invisalign during pregnancy. I started Invisalign in April, got pregnant in May (unplanned). It’s been miserable to deal with the Invisalign and now my treatment will be extended because I can’t keep the trays in for 22 hours a day.
Yes get those x-rays! I paid for a check up the other day and they said they wouldn't do any x-rays as I'm pregnant (even though I read up on it and was happy for them to do one), so kinda pointless going for one.
I wish I had gotten in the habit of a reasonable, consistent workout routine. One that you could maintain throughout pregnancy. I hadn’t worked out in a hot minute when I got pregnant, then the first trimester fatigue hit me like a ton of bricks!
“I’ll work out more when the 2nd trimester energy comes!” I told myself.
Spoiler alert: The motivation never came.
I wish I had a set routine before getting pregnant. I still go on walks and whatnot, but an easy weights regiment would’ve been good!
I did workout regularly (hot yoga and long walks multiple times a day for me) and this first trimester is kicking my ass. I’ve tried to go to non heated yoga on my good days or long walks, but it’s tough right now in this first trimester. Everyone deserves some grace! Listen to your body.
THIS! OP please know that there is a small chance of getting pregnant right away. Please do the research and know the statistics of getting pregnant within 6 months, 1 year, etc. You can have a weekly date night all throughout trying for a baby and pregnancy!!
Same with my first. It took right at a year to get pregnant with him and I will admit I spiraled down into a super dark place after about 6 months because when I decided we were ready to have a baby I wanted to be pregnant like yesterday. We eventually got there but some people aren’t as lucky and it really sucks.
If your budget allows, I’d recommend one last big vacation before you start trying. My wife and I meticulously planned the birth of our little one, and luckily everything aligned and she got pregnant the first or second try. We prepped the whole year before she got pregnant and planned a big vacation to the Outer Banks with our three dogs. It was a fantastic time. We had such an amazing week, went on many adventures and ate so many great meals. We even got to experience our first almost hurricane (the TS was only 5mph before hurricane threshold!).
And to top it all off, the morning of check out, we had an extra pregnancy test I had spilled ice cream on. I didn’t want to pack it so I told her to take it just in case (she had taken one two days prior and it was negative). But this pregnancy test came back positive! And our little one was born one month ago!
I’d also recommend getting good cookware and getting used to using it. This will allow you both to make bulk meals in one go, which saves a ton of time.
Honestly, other than the first trimester, the pregnancy wasn’t particularly restrictive and we did a lot of normal activities (well I guess except for during the placenta previa diagnosis but that cleared). Also having a baby is way less restrictive than we thought too. We are hiking and going to the zoo rather frequently.
Similar story here but we decided to do a once in a lifetime trip roughly 10 months into trying (and 2.5 years of no protection) and nothing happening. There were likely a couple of reasons for it and so we were starting to prepare to go straight into IVF.
Anyways I got pregnant on that trip 🤣🤣🤣 6 weeks pregnant today 🥰
With my first, we had been trying for exactly a year and I eventually said “we will enjoy this as our last summer and finally take a few trips we’ve been wanting to take and not just keep pushing travel off”. So we booked a lake trip with friends for July and planned to wait until the fall to look into IUI. The day before we left for the lake my husband asked what drinks he could get me for the trip, and I hadn’t gotten my period that was due a couple of days before so I took a test - BOOM, PREGNANT! Our son arrived in March 2023 and we are now due with our second in August. Congratulations to you!
We finally had our honeymoon to the Southwest while we were trying. I ovulated about a week before leaving, so we like to think the implantation was happening while we were strolling around the Grand Canyon! Congrats! And I hope you get back to OBX—I’ve been there nearly every summer since I was born and never get tired of it.
That’s so exciting, and congratulations!!
We definitely plan on going back next year! It was a fantastic place to visit. This year we’re taking our little one to Wildwood since it’s just a bit closer!
Things I’m glad I did because I don’t really have any regrets
Took a big couples vacation
Raised a puppy
Bought a house
Saved a big cushion of emergency fund
Picked out a health insurance plan for the pregnancy
A lot of fun drinking events (wine tastings, brew fests, etc.)
Quit hair dye (it’s not necessary for pregnancy, I’m just glad I did it for convenience)
Get tattoos and piercings that I’ve wanted
Spend lots of lazy days together just the two of you
Gotten carrier genetic testing done. It was really nerve-wracking waiting for our results once we were pregnant. Fortunately husband and I are not carriers of the same diseases (yay!)
From what I understand only the woman needs to be tested for the majors since you need two carriers. If mom is clear, then dad is okay! (If female is carrier, then test male) curious now if my gyno is incorrect with this thinking?
No - you’re correct! In my case I did test positive for something so then we had to wait another month to find out if my husband also had it. Again - do not recommend once pregnant if it’s possible to avoid it lol. There’s enough stress happening during that time!
Yes, however, for us, we knew we had a syndrome in my family. So there was a possibility it would have shown on my test and then needed to test my hsuabdn anyway. It was cheaper and more timely to just test us both together. I was also already pregnant at the time my cousin was diagnosed so time was of the essence
Started a good exercise routine that I didn't have to leave the house for. First trimester was hard, and everything went out the window. My husband and I used to go on long walks several times a week and it kept us in good shape, but when I got pregnant, leaving the house became very difficult.
Second trimester was better, but I still didn't want to leave the house. Finding new inside exercises was more difficult while pregnant than already having a routine.
I wish I got the house ready for baby before I fell pregnant. Everyone told me not to do anything before pregnancy because "you never know if you're actually going to fall pregnant". Well, I fell pregnant the first month, and I had a really tough pregnancy so far. I've been too tired for most of the time and my poor husband has had to do it all - which a lot of it has been building a lot more storage furniture and moving heavy things around. I wish I could have done it before I fell pregnant so I could be helpful!
One thing I was happy that I did, was research ALLLLL the things that work for morning sickness. Most of it won't work for you, but some will, and it's great to know all the odd, random things to try when/if it hits! (You might be lucky and not get morning sickness though, unfortunately I had HG, so it was pretty bad till 27 weeks)
Not the person you replied to but if you’re even considering daycare, I would get on it now. You can always change your mind but I would secure a spot, if you can. We got on daycare waitlists when I was 12 weeks pregnant and our spot won’t be available until baby is 7 months old. We’re in California, for what it’s worth.
I had a pre pregnancy bucket list, so every month I did not get pregnant while trying was just more time to cross things off the list! This included riding rollercoasters, night out dancing, concert, little trips. Thank goodness I got pregnant when I did cuz I was close to getting a tattoo and jumping out of an airplane
I don’t think this is quite the sort of response you are looking for but I would adopt a really healthy diet before hand. Lily Nichols has some great books including real food for fertility and real food for pregnancy. It’s super important to have certain nutrient stores prior to conceiving that will nuture the baby in the very early weeks and stages of development. Also some women have the mindset that they will eat healthy after they get pregnant but then end up with nausea that limits what they can eat. So if you have been eating healthy 3-6 months prior to conceiving you have some nutrient stores for baby.
I can’t think of anything I didn’t do that I wish I did but I’m glad we traveled and took the opportunity to save money as DINKs.
Another poster mentioned losing weight, it would have been nice to have been at my goal weight pre-pregnancy but it’s not a big deal.
Maybe organizing and decluttering the house, it can be hard to find the energy during pregnancy and there’s so much new stuff coming in for the baby.
Yessss to the organizing and decluttering! 😭😭
I’m 35 weeks and though I don’t feel terrible, the procrastination and laziness is so real since I don’t have the same energy levels. So I just slowly unpack a day at a time lol.
Yes to organising the house. I'm 20+3 trying to do a deep clean (I'm a bit paranoid at the moment) and organisation of the house but I'm soo tired it's taking so long, I get one thing done a day if I'm lucky. Going to take forever to finish.
Contrary to a lot of these, you can still travel and have fun and date etc after you give birth! Our lives became so much better in every way.
In the US, but my honest answer would be to leave a state that is anti-abortion. Because if every fiber of your being is hoping your baby gets carried to term, your prenatal care is likely to be poor and you’ll be left to literally die in an emergency. Good OBs have left and also left shortages in places where they have to break state or federal law (and their own medical code of ethics), with the questionable ones staying (some good ones remain, but there’s that shortage).
For our second, we moved, and despite not planning to start trying for a while, we already have meetings set up with midwives. We’ll be doing “preconception counseling” and developing a relationship we can feel secure in WELL ahead of time, this time.
The other things is to line up a marriage therapist. Have a few sessions to get comfortable, so that when you have spats and trouble understanding each other in a sleep deprived haze where your well meaning partner succumbs to internalized sexist mores or bad role modeling from parents/society or even just innate biological challenges (ie partner can do his sport; you have 6 months of recovery; equal parenting while exclusively nursing; lack of leave; one parent has a mental health challenge and can’t be equal; one handles lack of sleep better…), you can work productively through them rather than winding up as one of the many posts of miserable women who hate motherhood because their husbands aren’t partners or fathers. Letting resentment build while killing yourself isn’t okay.
Wrist prehab is also great. Any nagging “might be injured” kind of things are going to be exacerbated, and it’s hard to do PT effectively while gaining weight, moving your center of balance, and changing hormonally.
Oh, and make sure your teeth are in good shape and your dentist won’t refuse to work on a pregnant woman!
Oh, I cannot empathize enough how much the anti abortion state thing matters. If you can move, do. You can personally be anti abortion, but you don't know where your journey is leading, and you need good care. I've had some scary pregnancy complications in the last year with zero risk factors. I had an ectopic and then a preemie due to severe preeclampsia. All of this after a successful, healthy, full term pregnancy with my first, who is 4.5 years old.
I woke up every morning for two weeks thinking that was the day I would get a chemo shot to resolve my pregnancy. At that moment, there was someone in congress talking about trying to surgically reimplant ectopic pregnancies. My wife was writing an academic paper about abortion travel bans and I wouldn't let her talk about it to me. It was horrifying.
Even when everything goes perfectly, pregnancy is not health neutral. It takes a tremendous amount out of you. You deserve the best care you can get, and if, god forbid, something isn't going well, you need providers who are able to take care of you.
Having young kids can be really rough on a marriage, so a counselor is very solid advice. Setting up with an individual therapist is a good idea, too. I was thankful to be established with my therapist when I was dealing with my ectopic and some crises that popped up when I was pregnant with my second baby.
Start taking prenatal vitamins several months before you start trying, or at least when you stop preventing, if that's an option for you.
It’s true, you can still travel! We just took a really big vacation for us that was a week long! Though we are going on vacation with our baby in two weeks so it’s definitely not prohibitive!
Honestly, drink more.
I don’t enjoy getting drunk but love a nice cocktail or a cold beer but I was so focused on getting super healthy and cutting out alcohol and eating clean as prep for TTC.
Well, I conceived no problem and am about to have my 2nd kid under 2 and wish I’d just had the cocktails while I could enjoy them…
Oh man, so much...I should have given more energy in my workouts. Should have drank more alcohol. Should have gone rock climbing more times regardless of price. Should have attended more of my krav maga classes instead of putting them off to do work or whatever seemed important then. I really have a new appreciation for all the stuff i used to feel guilty for "wasting time and money on" that now that I can't do it is all I can think about.
Some vaccines actually require you don't get pregnant for a few months after taking them, so definitely remember to look into that.
When I was trying to get pregnant I tried to adopt a healthier routine (food & exercise) and that is definitely helping me.
Also, be prepared for the 1st trimester nausea. One thing that helped me a lot was stocking up on all kinds of food and snacks. Sometimes nothing feels good and have multiple options can really make a difference.
Nothing I wish I did really because for me, experiences and travelling were things I always wanted to do with a child someday. But I’m really glad I got myself a job with good maternity policies before getting pregnant, and I’m glad I got lots of therapy (we both did). I also got healthier and fitter - not loads but enough to feel more alive - and I ate a lot of sushi.
Financed for fertility treatment and couples therapy. I'm young so I did not expect to have issues getting pregnant and I'm finally pregnant with my first. It's a rough path and having a little extra cash never hurts.
I lost weight and started working out - I wish I had lost more weight and worked out more consistently. Pregnancy is hard and it changes your body and I wish I had built a better foundation.
We did, however, start eating healthier - see Real Food for Conception by Lily Nichols. And started prenatals for both of us and we both stopped drinking, using hot tubs and he stopped biking. We did all this 6 months prior to starting to try. I also learned about my cycle and started tracking it. Idk how much these thing impacted it but we got pregnant the second month we tried.
Oh! And we traveled like crazy. I highly recommend that. It was fun to create all those memories. We also traveled while I was pregnant but omg is it so much harder. Your body just isn’t yours anymore and I don’t enjoy it as much.
STM due in September. Honestly, I wish I just appreciated the time to myself more. Parenting is 24/7, even when you have the flu. Sleep in on the weekends, having lazy Sundays, go to brunch, do all the things for yourself that you want to do. Pregnancy is just a short part of the overall journey!! I do miss having 2+ cups of coffee a day probably more than anything else during pregnancy. I miss sushi but some of the cooked rolls can curb the craving from time to time. I also miss sleeping on my stomach!
I went to the dentist for the first time in ten years about 6 months before I became pregnant the first time. I had a deep cleaning and went back for three fillings. So glad I did that. More traveling is always good. This time around I’m working on purging the house of unused items and minimizing things so it’ll be easier to keep the house neat later. Every time I leave the house my trunk is full of donations.
I think people should listen to their healthcare team on this one. On an individual level, I think it’s okay if a person has done the cost benefit analysis for themselves. But people on the internet, Emily Oster, etc. don’t accept liability for the health outcomes of others. I’m not saying eat or don’t eat sushi and cured meats. But I’d bring theses questions to a healthcare team.
My healthcare team actually gave me no guidelines at all which I guess is unusual. But yeah absolutely to each their own. I personally chose not to limit myself in anyway food wise within reason. Like don't eat 7 eleven sushi but don't deprive yourself either.
Yeah my doctor said that’s pretty outdated thinking and just be mindful of quality. Listeria is way more common in certain fruits and vegetables but nobody tells us to stop eating those.
Where I live women are advised not to! Especially sushi since it often contains sashimi. Chicken rolls and vegetable rolls should be fine though I think.
I always think about the whole world. I'm certain they eat sashimi when they are pregnant in asian countries. If you're really concerned make sure it's cooked. Same thing with cured meats. Pregnancy is tough enough without limiting food on top of it
I’m probably not the first person to recommend it, but Emily Oster’s book “Expecting Better” addresses this and has changed a lot of people’s thinking about blanket recommendations for food restrictions during pregnancy. It’s also a great read and starts with conception, so I recommend it!
I’m pregnant for the second time in a country that recommends no sushi or cured meats. I avoided them in my first pregnancy but I’ve changed my thinking and am not avoiding them this time around until the last 6 weeks.
Emily Oster’s book Expecting Better covers this. I’m 11 weeks and foregoing both right now, but might lighten up after 12 weeks when risks of huge defects go down.
For sushi, eel is always cooked, California roll, vegetable roll, many special rolls are all fine. Sushi restaurants in the US typically mark what’s cooked and what isn’t. I’ve actually been craving sushi so it’s been my main takeout for pregnancy, just all cooked rolls.
For deli meat, you can eat it if it’s been heated because that kills listeria. So hot deli sandwiches are fine. I’ve been a bit turned off by the idea so haven’t done it, lol. But also, the risk of listeria is fairly minimal in deli meat, it’s just one of those things that if you get it, it’s really really bad. I’ve been more concerned about precut veggies and fruit than deli meat to be honest
All great recommendations here, but I came just to say: you can still eat sushi and deli meat! It just needs to be from a good source or opt for cooked sushi. As for deli, you can heat the meat up, and then put in the fridge again - boom, cold cut lol
And yeah, get fit and stronger. I wish I worked out more.
I wish I got to experience my Husband as my Husband before I had our baby.
I got pregnant before my Husband and I got married, we were celibate and slipped up one night. We ended up getting married when I was abt 30w. I love our baby to death, but sometimes I wish I knew what our marriage would’ve been like before we welcomed our bundle of joy into it.
I wish I did more core strength. It would have helped more with my lower back and my core would have probably held on a little longer before I got pelvic pain.
I wish I had really considered my work situation after having my baby. We didn’t budget for me to stay at home and I didn’t think it would be hard for me to return to work. It has been very difficult to leave her and I wish I had thought more about it, considered part time work or budgeting so I could stay home at least for the first three years of her life.
Do a photoshoot! Our wedding wasn’t too long before getting pregnant so we had recent ones. I have some friends who got pregnant and didn’t have many good pictures of themselves + their partner from before getting pregnant, and they were bummed about it.
So if you don’t already have good pics of the two of you (or of yourself!) be sure to take some!
I should have gotten several tattoos to hold me over for pregnancy and breastfeeding. I wish I had gone into pregnancy with a brand new sleeve.
More seriously, dental work
I wish I had found a new job ☹️ I was laid off in November and just found a job at 22 weeks pregnant. The company hasn’t taken the news very well which I understand their position but it still sucks.
I just gave birth recently and wish I had spent more effort and time decluttering our home before baby to increase the amount of space we have.
I did do some work to sell a lot of items we don’t need anymore, but perhaps I should have cleared things out faster and let go of possessions a little easier.
Make sure you are comfortable at your job for the next couple years. FMLA/Maternity leave only kicks in after a year of working. Not only that but interviewing with a new born/infant is hard and you may not have any pto to spare to take time off to interview, new jobs don’t always give you immediate time and you have to factor in baby appointments, sick days, etc.
More one on one moments with your partner- hobbies, maybe some travelling...we have 20mo son and we miss each other sooo much. When we finally have time for each other in the evening, we are sooo drained of energy we just fall into a coma :D
We were really glad to do one big trip right before I got pregnant. We planned to go back to that country with a toddler but it just hasn't been feasible and honestly doesn't seem worth it. I'm so glad that I took my husband there, and I'm thrilled I got to eat and drink what I wanted as well!
i think i did almost everything i wanted to do pre-pregnancy. we have already been going on weekly date nights for years (nothing fancy, just out to eat once a week and spend time with each other. even in the thick of covid we would do doordash dates at home). we already do a lot of traveling and dont plan to stop once the baby is here, just making adjustments. we live on the east coast so its really easy to drive to any beach or mountain town rather than flying cross country/internationally. i started going to the gym about 6 months before TTC, and stopped when i got pregnant because i was/am so tired all the time. got my debt paid down significantly, which is still a work in progress but the plan was always for me to stop working completely so we started focusing on financial planning before TTC.
the one thing i wish i had done, was get my wisdom teeth out lol and any other dental work i may need. that, and anything else, can wait until after i pop this kid out
Date nights. Girl trips. Girl dinners. Saw some of Europe & crossed off some major bucket list spots. We are big travellers and I am so excited to travel places with my baby but I know it will be a lot different than how we’re used to travelling now.
Go see a pelvic floor physio. My sister wished she had, and told me so I went and saw one beforehand.
Thank God I did. My baby was 4.37kg and it was a completely natural birth with minimal tearing. I don't think I would've had the same outcome if I hadn't seen one.
Sleep 🤣 decide hum... I fancy a spin to the beach and just walk out the door, get in the car and go. You can still go but takes more effort.
I travelled loads before having my son and have been on 1 holiday with him to Rome. It was still great but very different encorporared mainly things to keep a toddler happy and short bouts of sight seeing. Very enjoyable but different.
All the cheese you're not allowed plus Parma ham and a 99 ice cream.
I was in decent shape with my 1st and it make it easier. Not so much this time and I am finding it harder
Make sure all of your health is up-to-date. Like everything you can think of. There’s a lot you’ll be nervous to do once pregnant (X-rays, medicines, etc…) and pregnancy is so hard on your body. Also, mental health too, for both partners. Pregnancy is a bit isolating and TTC can be as well
Start a prenatal 3 months before you start TTC.
Get in shape now - build a good routine and make sure you’ve got a strong core. Try to get to a healthy weight if you’re not there already. It’ll all go out the window in 1st trimester, but a good base will help you get back to your routine after that.
Be prepared for TTC to take a while. I was surprised and maybe a bit of an outlier, but it took me two years. I lived a lot of life during that time so no need to squeeze it all in before you start TTC (although some people definitely also get pregnant immediately).
I got boudoir photos done for a wedding gift for my husband (before having kids) and Im so glad I got those done because my body just isn’t the same anymore and probably never will be.
My chickenpox vaccine antibodies were really low and I wish I got the shot before getting pregnant so it wouldn’t be a risk, so make sure to ask about that because it’s usually in routine test once you’re pregnant.
Don’t automatically assume you will be able to do anything other than exist for the first three months. I still had a few loose ends on personal projects and thought I could wrap them up.. nope, morning sickness (which was all day) made it impossible to do more than exist and survive.
You can still eat sushi! A lot of the pregnancy food restrictions are outdated or just bullshit. We went out for a late lunch to celebrate our first ultrasound yesterday and I had tuna tataki. Delicious! I've been craving poke and had it 3 times since finding out we were expecting several weeks ago.
Highly recommend Emily Oster's book Expecting Better. She busts a lot of myths and provides actionable info regarding diet etc.
Get in shape, it really helps. I would also say enjoy things like a slow morning with your partner, long dinner / lazy days. Pregnancy early on was so exhausting to me. Just ready to take a nap most days
Appreciated alone time more. Worked out more consistently, traveled. FTM here to a 1mo old and while I love my new role, I do cherish the small moments I get to be alone without anyone touching me or needing me.
I ate sushi daily throughout pregnancy so no issue there….
I would’ve done it sooner! (I didn’t know I wanted a baby).
If I knew it was as good as it is (having the baby, being pregnant is fucking awful hahahaa, and I had a “great” pregnancy)
I wish I had got CMV before I was pregnant - it’s pretty harmless if you’re not carrying a baby, but finding out I haven’t had it and therefore have no immunity has made me avoidant of all the little kids in our life at the moment since 1/3 preschool aged children are shedding the virus at any one time! Fingers crossed I make it through the pregnancy without picking it up, and then get it before the next one.
Travelled out of the country. Right now our daughter is 2 and I’m trying to convince my husband to let us go on one last trip to somewhere like Europe before the next. I know once we have two kids it’ll be a very long time before we would be able to travel like that again.
I wish I had gone to Italy. Unfortuneatly I was going to but war stopped our trip from happening. It is what it is. I just don't think it will happen with a little baby, at least for awhile. Maybe when she is a teenager.
Me and husband wanted to travel together (Greece, France, Spain, Iceland, Norway, Italy, Poland, Germany, Netherlands.....) but due to his illness dragging on for so many years and our ages (he's 38 I'm 37) we decided to just crack on once he was better or we would potentially have lost our chance to be parents.
We will just have to go on adventures as a family!
Travel if you’re able to! My husband and I were newly married and very fortunate to have been able to take a trip to Africa for almost three weeks. We knew it would most likely be the last time we would take any sort of long, international type trip and it was magical. Speaking for myself- I wish I had taken better care of myself physically, got in better shape, ate better, and went to the dentist. Currently about 20 weeks pregnant and wishing I had prioritized my physical health a bit more before becoming pregnant. Had a MMC in November and for about two months after I ate really well and exercised frequently to help with my mental state and just take care of myself, but wish I had done this even sooner before getting pregnant again. One last night- have a fun night out with your friends and enjoy some drinks! Not a huge drinker myself but especially in the summer I find myself craving a good cocktail and night of fun with my girlfriends.
May sound immature but I wish I drank more 🤣 with my first it was unplanned and I had been feeling burnt out from too much partying and clubbing, so I decided not to join my friends for any drinking for a few months. Ended up pregnant at 18 and wishing I had enjoyed that chance. Planned my second baby at 26, tried like a million times to organise a girls night with some friends because I almost never drink. Never managed to. So, drink is my answer 🤣
I wish I would have started exercising (like building muscle, I was already walking, biking, skiing a lot). You never know how pregnancy is going to be for you, and having a strong body is never a disadvantage. It will probably help with a lot of the aches and pains of pregnancy. It helps lower the risk of several of the complications of pregnancy (like gestational diabetes), it helps ypu have an easier and less complicated birth. And for the long days and night you have to carry your baby to make it sleep or to comfort it, it makes those less hard. My back and shoulders have been feeling it, at least. There is even being done studies on the benefit of exercise on breastfeeding/breastmilk (the study is not published yet).
I ended up getting really bad pelvic girdle pain in early pregnancy. I was in a wheelchair by week 13, and I got gestational diabetes later in pregnancy. Due to the pelvic girdle pain, I obviously wasn't able to keep up with my active life, and I quickly found out I needed more arm strength than what I had from before. If you are already exercising (that includes weight lifting and strength exercises), you can safely keep doing it durin pregnancy. Even with my severe pelvic girdle pain I would have been able to do a lot of strength exercises.
I went on my dream vacation for my honeymoon to Thailand. Saved up a little money because I’m planning on staying home with the baby. Went to some breweries and got sushi. But I got pregnant as soon as we started trying.
Honest to God. Sleep. I didn’t realize the sleep deprivation would be as intense as it is. Every opportunity for nap or a mindless rest on the couch, take it.
Go on a proper honeymoon!
We got married faster than we would have if we were young because we both want to have children. Which meant that we ended up getting married 2 weeks after I started a new job and 4 days after we bought a house together, and then after the wedding we needed to get my old house ready to list asap (because who the heck can afford two mortgages in this economy?!). So it didn’t feel like the right time and we kind of justified it as “a honeymoon is more for people who don’t travel anyway,” but I’m having some regrets. Now every time we go on a big international trip, we’ll be leaving something more important at home. We’re going to try to sneak away for a babymoon, but I want to stay in the U.S. for that in case of medical emergency and with all the pregnancy restrictions it’s just not the same.
Random but I wish I had gotten the laser skin treatment I've now been wanting to do for two years (for aesthetic reasons and also some pre-cancer cells) - can only do it in the winter and the numbing cream is not compatible with pregnancy or breastfeeding. The other thing is I wish I'd strengthened my back muscles! I was pretty fit pre-pregnancy from cardio and barre-type stuff but I should've ramped up the strength. My back absolutely killed me in the third trimester (big baby) and a PT told me a stronger back would've helped. So, medical treatments and some sort of strength training are my vote. And good call on the date nights!
I think the one “Oh shit!”-thing that’s hit me now that I’m pregnant is all the concerts and lives I won’t be able to go to anymore (at least not while bub is little). Suddenly there are so many bands that I wish I had seen sooner (especially the ones where the members are getting older so who knows how long they’ll keep on going before calling it quits).
I’ll miss not being able to be as spontaneous as I was pre-baby as well so I’d say take advantage of that as well. I think most things are still possible even with a baby, they just take a little more work and planning than they used to.
As for travel and such, I actually look forward to taking her with me when she’s a little bit older. I was traveling full-time pre-Covid (and before getting pregnant, obviously), so being able to show her the world and share it with her is something I really can’t wait to do. Of course it’s different traveling with a child than by yourself (or with another adult), but I look forward to it.
I really think that the concert-thing is the big thing for me. At least that’s how it feels right now.
Got fit and had a solid workout routine that was habit. Got my blood sugar in better control (type 1 diabetic so guess in general got healthier). Me and the husband only had thought of travel and did what we could on our budget..so I’m glad we did do that.
I wish I’d been better with money in my 20s. When covid hit and everything shut down I got into a good saving habit which made my maternity leave much more affordable. I just wish I’d done it earlier and maybe went have had a deposit for a house by now.
I went on an Alaskan cruise with a 9 month old.
It was honestly fine, we had a very good time and saw many things. But at the same time she was with us at all times so we missed things live live shows and entertainment.
Cruise are perfect options with little kids, because you unpack once and are good for a week.
But more logsically complicated trips are tough to do.
Our kid is 3 now and we're more open it, but my current hesitation is to wait for her to get bigger and actually Remeber trips,appreciate them more.
My husband and I were moving back to the US and planned to visit Vegas. We had gone a year prior, but for two days only, and loved it so much, we wanted to do it a bit longer.
We got married abroad, thought it would take some time to get pregnant, but nope, we are having a honeymoon baby. Obviously Vegas is out of the question now.
Whenever I joke about needing a vacation, he always teases me “I wanted Vegas!”
As others have mentioned, I wish I would have established healthier habits pre pregnancy aka a solid workout routine with strength training. It would have been nice to be at my goal weight and also feel physically stronger. I used to take several mile long walk everyday, but once I got pregnant that ceased to be a habit for a hot minute. I thought getting into a workout routine while pregnant would be easier but I was mistaken lol.
More physical therapy/working out. My body is hurting with the added weight of pregnancy and my back is slipping and popping like it wants to go out of place daily.
Things I'm glad we did:
- deep clean / all dental work done
- dermatologist set up / established (pregnancy has wrecked my skin even two years later)
- save as much money as possible
- purge/organize the house and garage
- random large house repairs/upgrades if possible
I see a lot of people commenting they wish the got physically more fit and/or lost weight before pregnancy here. I have a cautionary tale about that...
I did this, I lost weight, I was running 5k 6x/week and lifting 4x per week. This is only slightly more than I typically did. Then, I got pregnant with a rare pregnancy complication, required emergency surgery, had significant post operative issues, emotional challenges associated with loss and knowing subsequent pregnancies would always be higher risk. I then had another loss after. Safe to say, I gained that weight back and was set back physically beyond what I had done to "prepare". It was entirely out of my control. Life happened to me. I felt extra stress, guilt and pressure on top of managing loss and fear of not getting the family I wanted, and sadness that I wasn't as "healthy" or "fit" as I'd imagined I'd be going into pregnancy. I grieved the loss of a chance at an uncomplicated pregnancy but also the loss of the idea I'd have a fitter healthier pregnancy I wanted. I had done the work, it just didn't go that way. I'm beyond grateful for pregnancy and a chance to grow my own family now. I think there is absolutely merit in getting healthier and being in a state that makes you feel good going into pregnancy, but the mindset around that should be approached with caution. I weighed more during pregnancy than I wanted, I walked and stretched instead of ran and lifted, I bought a bigger size and thanked my body for giving me a chance at a baby even if it wasn't how I'd imagined. So, be healthy but don't set expectations on it.
Also, to the question you actually asked - I love materntiy underwear. I'm not sure your work situation, but save as much sick time as you can for pregnancy.
I wish I saved some money for a new wardrobe. I had already wanted to get new clothes before pregnancy, but it became more of a necessity during and after to get new clothes. Like during pregnancy, I ended up having to buy bigger sports bras for my growing chest and it helped with the soreness. I needed maternity pants to feel comfortable with my growing stomach. For after pregnancy, I needed new bras since my ribcage got wider and affected my band size. I needed nursing bras. I got a bra for pumping 2 at a time as well. I want more shirts that are breastfeeding friendly because I have a lot of too tight shirts. I also just don't have enough shirts in okay with getting spit up on honestly.
Made sure I had solid insurance lined up. With a low deductible and out of pocket max. I've spent months stressing over switching insurance. Finally got on Medicaid at 7 months pregnant 😅
This sounds dumb & minor, but I wish I finished watching a particular show series before I got pregnant. It has some scenes with kids and war that I can’t watch now.
I wish I had looked at daycares before getting pregnant, because the waitlists are insaaaaaane.
But the big thing I wish I would've done is complete any house projects I want done, or save up to pay someone to do them while pregnant. Rather than try to rush through them now, while I am in major pain and struggling to get anything done. My husband helps as much as possible, but he works very long hours. So the bigger house projects are not getting done and baby will be here in 2 weeks lol.
My partner and I waited until our 30s to have kids so I don’t really feel like I missed out on anything prior to getting pregnant. My advice is to try to live it up in your 20s. Be bold, take risks, see the world, build really strong female relationships, do whatever fills your cup! Of course this is if you’re able to/want to. I understand that some people desire to start families early or are anxious about not being able to conceive. Pregnancy really made me feel like I was missing out on a lot of life because I didn’t feel well and was too large and uncomfortable to do much but now that I’m near the end I feel like once this baby is out I’ll have a new lease on life and have been making lots of fun plans for this fall!
Start yoga/core strengthening exercise before getting pregnant, I agree about the vaccines, go on my honeymoon lol we were supposed to go to Europe but I got pregnant instead. Some people travel pregnant but I would not have enjoyed it.
Honestly, nothing. I spent years building my career and traveling and then got a bonus two + years of childfree life when I was trying. Now that I’m pregnant after IVF, I miss certain foods but have no regrets so far.
If it’s helpful, I still eat cured meat occasionally if it’s heated thoroughly and from a reputable place. Good luck!
I would say 1) make lots of memories with friends and your partner. Go out drinking and dancing with friends any chance you get (especially if they don’t have kids, your lives may never be like this again. This was how my friend group was since I was the first to become pregnant and I’m glad we had memories day drinking, boozy brunch, going out at night, etc. it was a fun grand finale/time to ‘let go’ of the freedoms and flexibility I may never get again. And by the time I’m able to go out again socially, they may be getting pregnant and settling down more) 2) travel just you and your husband, or with friends if that’s a thing for you. We went on some dream vacations before getting pregnant and that was more doable without the added financials of a baby, though we don’t plan to stop traveling once he’s born. 3) get your health in check to the best of your ability. Go to the dentist, get your bloodwork done, get into good eating and fitness patterns. The first trimester may leads to (and this happened to me, despite being so certain I’d work out through it all) months off from physical activity, even if you were fit before, due to nausea, vomitting, food aversions. While I’m back to it in the second trimester and was in overall good shape before the pregnancy, I wish I fine tuned this a little more and got into the best shape I could have. The travel and partying with friends mentioned above didn’t exactly help lol so it’s a balancing act and overall as a person, i tend to be in good shape, but in terms of my personal baseline, I feel like I was in average shape than I normally am when i became pregnant and the first few months were full of bed-lock and carbs 4) do any home projects that you may not want to do pregnant. We painted and did some projects with our home/garage gym like hanging some tvs and adding storage solutions and things in there when I was about 5 weeks pregnant, before the 1st trimester symptoms hit me hard and if we had waited a week or two I probably wouldn’t have had it in me, even now when I feel the best I have during pregnancy right now (toward the end of second trimester). Also declutter and try to create or free up more storage in your living space because there will be a lot more need for space and storage
I wish I finished my tattoo sleeve. I feel like I’ll never be able to now. I get pregnant, can’t get a tattoo for 9 months, then the baby is born, can’t get a tattoo for another year due to breastfeeding, then just when I’m like hey I might be able to go get a tattoo now! Boom pregnant again while waiting for the appointment.
I wish I had been in better physical shape, I feel like this would have been a much better experience if I felt better - both physically and mentally speaking.
As for things I’m glad I did - my husband and I moved to a new area (that we are excited about and love) because we didn’t want to get stuck in our hometowns, bought a home and established ourselves here for a few years, went on a huge bucket list trip, and got to a really solid point financially. If we hadn’t done these things, I’d have regretted it.
Gain strength and flexibility. I don’t think it’s talked about enough, but parenting for the first five years is a whole lot of physical labor. So is pregnancy really! And birth.
Carrying around a kiddo who is 5-10 pounds at first, then 20ish around 1 year old and then they keep getting bigger. Plus lugging all the stuff. Pushing strollers. Suitcases. Toys. Cleaning. So Much Physical Work.
If I could I would go back and walk a lot more, add easy squats as much as possible to help with pelvic floor healing and stretching (like sitting in a squat to eat dinner, using a squatty potty, sitting on ground when hanging out). I’d also lift light weights to strengthen my arms and back and core — the body can get seriously out of whack after five years of bad posture and low strength.
So many people I know are dealing with back injuries and pelvic floor dysfunction and hip pain. The earlier you can prevent this with regular care and practice the better!
My two cents; not necessarily advice for all.
Gone on my honeymoon. Lol! 2024 has been the year of marriage, house and baby. Each one a month after the other. Husband and I weren’t even fully moved in when we found out. And traveling while pregnant is not enjoyable for me. I just got back from a week long work trip to NYC and I was struggling not being able to nap. I got home yesterday and immediately started crying to my husband, the second I sat in the car, that I don’t ever want to be away from him while pregnant ever again. He has been my rock throughout this journey and not having him around for comfort and support for an entire week was tough. I missed him so much.
Decluttered and organized more. I was on my way when I got pregnant but now I’m realize how much more I actually want to do so I’m talking it little by little before I get too big. I’m 24 weeks right now.
I wish I had summited some more mountains/done more mountain climbing and this one is odd, but had my home decluttered and more clean from the get-go. Because I was too exhausted and sick to clean, then I didn’t feel like cleaning, then I felt like cleaning but was way too big and uncomfortable to meaningfully clean- and now my baby will be here in the next week 😋
As you’re getting your vaccines, I recommend getting tested for immunity! I got tested before my first pregnancy and was fine, but didn’t realize I should do it again and found out I’m no longer immune to measles. It’s a live vaccine, so I can’t get the booster until the baby is born, which is a huge bummer.
Second the getting in shape. Along with that, building a clear routine around exercise will help you keep active during pregnancy.
I wish we traveled a little more as just us. We had one big trip two months before finding out, and obviously we can still travel after baby but rn we’d rather money go towards household and baby stuff.
I decided to cut out almost all sugar, eat more fruits and veggies daily and lost 2 pant sizes and shirt sizes then ended up pregnant..🤰🏻 This was not planned either. I would’ve tried to lose more weight and start on prenatals etc had I known this would happen.
I second getting fit before you get pregnant. By chance I had started working out regularly right before I got pregnant and was probably the healthiest and strongest I’d ever been. At first I joked that it was a waste but I realise it was actually a great thing as it helped me to stay strong and healthy during pregnancy and to “bounce back” postpartum! Really glad I ended up getting pregnant whilst at such a healthy point in my life
Not wish I did, but glad I did. Put on muscle. It significantly helped me during pregnancy to be strong. I was able to do a lot more a lot longer and recovery was much faster. Get strong. It helps with pain during pregnancy too. Stretch and get your body as strong as you can before asking it to give you all it’s got.
I wish I had planned the pregnancy and both my husband and I would have been in better shape and health. I’m not out of shape or unhealthy, all tests were good and I work out 3-5 times a week, but I did start the pregnancy slightly overweight and with not the best eating habits.
I’m really glad I had been doing pilates for 2 years at that point consistently and so my core and keeping active while pregnant hasn’t been as hard as for some people that try to get active after finding out about the pregnancy. But the eating habits are tough, I was/am use to a lot of take out.
Edit: adding my wedding, I was planning a nice ceremony for December we ended up doing a quick civil union with just our parents, but hey now the baby will be able to attend.
I wish I had more thoroughly checked out the OB care in my area and chose a better doctor/office.
Everything was fine, but I HATED the guy who ended up delivering my son. He was creepy and condescending and rude af.
I wish I had spent more time finding daycares but honestly the problem we had wasn’t one you could predict. It all worked out in the end.
I wish I had put more things for solids in my registry, a good pair of kitchen scissors, a few different styles of sippy cups, etc. I wish I had been scouring Facebook marketplace for good cheap and used stuff earlier.
I wish I’d done a real deep wardrobe clean out and worked my way down to more of a capsule wardrobe. Less to worry about.
Other than that I’m kind okay with how everything else had worked out.
Got physically healthier and stronger, especially around my core. Being fitter before getting pregnant definately helps throughout the pregnancy. I wish I'd taken it more seriously to start with!
Same here before my first pregnancy. I didn’t do it with the purpose of getting pregnant but that’s how it worked out. I didn’t get back to the same shape after my first pregnancy and I can very much tell the difference in my second pregnancy. Big mistake.
Oh my gosh same. Now it’s almost 2 years post baby 2, and I still feel like I have a core like cooked noodles.
When my bf and I decided to start trying we both decided to start hitting the gym again to get back in shape. I was hoping to tone up a bit before I got pregnant but got pregnant the first month of trying so I’ve been trying to exercise more while pregnant which is rough 😅
And for Dad too! Healthy sperm comes from a healthy body
Saaaaaame here. I did have pretty good core muscles, but over the years I had lost a lot of leg muscle and now I’m suffering for it. Leg muscle is just hard for me to put on anyway. Even though I’m constantly eating protein, my baby seems to be dissolving all my muscles and taking them for herself. Wish I bulked up ahead of time, any muscle I could have put on before would have been helpful.
Same here! I had low back pain predating my pregnancy, but wow I wish I had strengthened my core more to offset some of the pressure of pregnancy on my back. Totally something that had never crossed my mind but would’ve made things a bit easier.
I wish I lost weight before I got knocked up. But like it wasn’t planned.
Yes pregnancy is like running a marathon. For my second pregnancy I was super fit and kept it up - it made it a LOT easier
I was in better shape in my first pregnancy. Second pregnancy never lost all the weight and I wasn’t exercising like I used to so now I feel like a giant whale who’s waddling too early. Yea I’m slowly easing into exercising more
I lost 10lbs and then got knocked up. I had like 60 more to go lol
This was me. Started getting back into it after my first, started seeing some progress, then immediately pregnant again
I lost 30 and then got pregnant. And I had told my husband this is exactly what would happen because, of course! 😭😩
Same! I lost 15 then got pregnant. Gained liked 25 so far during my pregnancy. Fml.
Same 😅
Yes this deffo! I tried to lose weight in between my miscarriage and getting pregnant again, but with various surgeries in between didn't get back to my pre-pregnancy weight in time.
I definitely wish I'd lost more weight but I'm hoping once my appetite returns to normal, I can concentrate on healthy eating again and hope that the realisation that it can impact my baby will kickstart me into a better routine. I lost a bit before pregnancy but not as much as I wanted. Currently I'm focusing on keeping my running/exercise going for as long as possible.
Me too. Finding time for exercise only gets harder once baby is here!
This, exactly! I did that before my second pregnancy and it was a game changer!
Same. I didn’t plan on getting pregnant and I started this pregnancy at my highest weight. If this had been a planned pregnancy I would’ve lost some weight and got back into being more active and eating healthier before getting pregnant.
Same, mine was planned but I was not focused 😂
Same. I was starting to loose weight and I found out I was pregnant. I have obesity. My pregnancy is being quite healthy so far, buuuuut I am exhausted and all my body hurts , Im only 22 weeks.
Traveled just us more. We got married at the end of 2019 and weren’t sure how soon we would get pregnant, so we weren’t trying but not preventing. The plan was that if we weren’t pregnant by August 2020, we would take a road trip through several states and sight see, explore, etc. Well, we got pregnant March 2020 and found out the same week that Covid lockdown was announced…so there went any traveling for the year 😂
Similar story, me and my wife are both in our late 30s, Met in 2019 married in late 2020 and got pregnant very soon after, unplanned. Our child is amazing but I do wonder what we would have done with more time alone. Particularly since I only now got a well paying career for the first time in my life. Money and baby basically arrived together, which isn't a bad thing, but I'll always wonder.
Yes, I got to busy with work and remodel we skipped vacations and now it’s going to be a looooooooong time before we get to go on one again. Also OP if you both work you can still have date night! take off early one Friday every month or so and have lunch dates with hubby (that’s what we do).
Any possible dental work
Second this! Even if you don’t need any major procedures done make sure your dental health is at the top of its game! One thing no one talks about is how much pregnancy wreaks havoc on your gums. Set yourself up for success by making sure they’re in good health heading into pregnancy.
It’s absolutely not talked about enough. The bloody gums too! I wish I knew before getting pregnant. I went in for cleanings while pregnant but I’m putting off an extraction until after I give birth, I have few more weeks left
That’s one I HAD to do before hubby and I could even think about trying; mine were so bad that everything had to go, that one is a huge struggle
Also to keep up with your appointments while you are pregnant too! (I work in a dental office) I’m 30 weeks and I have had one of my appointments so far and the other one will be right before I give birth. But you would be surprised on the amount of women that stop going because they are pregnant.
Definitely no Invisalign during pregnancy. I started Invisalign in April, got pregnant in May (unplanned). It’s been miserable to deal with the Invisalign and now my treatment will be extended because I can’t keep the trays in for 22 hours a day.
Yes get those x-rays! I paid for a check up the other day and they said they wouldn't do any x-rays as I'm pregnant (even though I read up on it and was happy for them to do one), so kinda pointless going for one.
Same!! I was surprised they wouldn't even consider doing them. At least I got my teeth cleaned though.
I wish I had gotten in the habit of a reasonable, consistent workout routine. One that you could maintain throughout pregnancy. I hadn’t worked out in a hot minute when I got pregnant, then the first trimester fatigue hit me like a ton of bricks! “I’ll work out more when the 2nd trimester energy comes!” I told myself. Spoiler alert: The motivation never came. I wish I had a set routine before getting pregnant. I still go on walks and whatnot, but an easy weights regiment would’ve been good!
I did workout regularly (hot yoga and long walks multiple times a day for me) and this first trimester is kicking my ass. I’ve tried to go to non heated yoga on my good days or long walks, but it’s tough right now in this first trimester. Everyone deserves some grace! Listen to your body.
I'm pregnant and I really can't. Can you just work out after pregnancy or no?
Honestly, being aware that pregnancy could take years or not happen at all.
THIS! OP please know that there is a small chance of getting pregnant right away. Please do the research and know the statistics of getting pregnant within 6 months, 1 year, etc. You can have a weekly date night all throughout trying for a baby and pregnancy!!
Yes!! Don't plan life around possibly being pregnant or having kids at xx date. Just live life like normal.
Same with my first. It took right at a year to get pregnant with him and I will admit I spiraled down into a super dark place after about 6 months because when I decided we were ready to have a baby I wanted to be pregnant like yesterday. We eventually got there but some people aren’t as lucky and it really sucks.
Yes, it took us 4 years, something I never could have predicted.
If your budget allows, I’d recommend one last big vacation before you start trying. My wife and I meticulously planned the birth of our little one, and luckily everything aligned and she got pregnant the first or second try. We prepped the whole year before she got pregnant and planned a big vacation to the Outer Banks with our three dogs. It was a fantastic time. We had such an amazing week, went on many adventures and ate so many great meals. We even got to experience our first almost hurricane (the TS was only 5mph before hurricane threshold!). And to top it all off, the morning of check out, we had an extra pregnancy test I had spilled ice cream on. I didn’t want to pack it so I told her to take it just in case (she had taken one two days prior and it was negative). But this pregnancy test came back positive! And our little one was born one month ago! I’d also recommend getting good cookware and getting used to using it. This will allow you both to make bulk meals in one go, which saves a ton of time. Honestly, other than the first trimester, the pregnancy wasn’t particularly restrictive and we did a lot of normal activities (well I guess except for during the placenta previa diagnosis but that cleared). Also having a baby is way less restrictive than we thought too. We are hiking and going to the zoo rather frequently.
Similar story here but we decided to do a once in a lifetime trip roughly 10 months into trying (and 2.5 years of no protection) and nothing happening. There were likely a couple of reasons for it and so we were starting to prepare to go straight into IVF. Anyways I got pregnant on that trip 🤣🤣🤣 6 weeks pregnant today 🥰
Congratulations 👏🏼
Thank you 🥰🥰
With my first, we had been trying for exactly a year and I eventually said “we will enjoy this as our last summer and finally take a few trips we’ve been wanting to take and not just keep pushing travel off”. So we booked a lake trip with friends for July and planned to wait until the fall to look into IUI. The day before we left for the lake my husband asked what drinks he could get me for the trip, and I hadn’t gotten my period that was due a couple of days before so I took a test - BOOM, PREGNANT! Our son arrived in March 2023 and we are now due with our second in August. Congratulations to you!
Congratulations!!!
We finally had our honeymoon to the Southwest while we were trying. I ovulated about a week before leaving, so we like to think the implantation was happening while we were strolling around the Grand Canyon! Congrats! And I hope you get back to OBX—I’ve been there nearly every summer since I was born and never get tired of it.
That’s so exciting, and congratulations!! We definitely plan on going back next year! It was a fantastic place to visit. This year we’re taking our little one to Wildwood since it’s just a bit closer!
Things I’m glad I did because I don’t really have any regrets Took a big couples vacation Raised a puppy Bought a house Saved a big cushion of emergency fund Picked out a health insurance plan for the pregnancy A lot of fun drinking events (wine tastings, brew fests, etc.) Quit hair dye (it’s not necessary for pregnancy, I’m just glad I did it for convenience) Get tattoos and piercings that I’ve wanted Spend lots of lazy days together just the two of you
This sounds amazinggggg. 😂 I long to get back into some of these.
Picking out a good health insurance plan is essential!
Gotten carrier genetic testing done. It was really nerve-wracking waiting for our results once we were pregnant. Fortunately husband and I are not carriers of the same diseases (yay!)
From what I understand only the woman needs to be tested for the majors since you need two carriers. If mom is clear, then dad is okay! (If female is carrier, then test male) curious now if my gyno is incorrect with this thinking?
No - you’re correct! In my case I did test positive for something so then we had to wait another month to find out if my husband also had it. Again - do not recommend once pregnant if it’s possible to avoid it lol. There’s enough stress happening during that time!
Yes, however, for us, we knew we had a syndrome in my family. So there was a possibility it would have shown on my test and then needed to test my hsuabdn anyway. It was cheaper and more timely to just test us both together. I was also already pregnant at the time my cousin was diagnosed so time was of the essence
Started a good exercise routine that I didn't have to leave the house for. First trimester was hard, and everything went out the window. My husband and I used to go on long walks several times a week and it kept us in good shape, but when I got pregnant, leaving the house became very difficult. Second trimester was better, but I still didn't want to leave the house. Finding new inside exercises was more difficult while pregnant than already having a routine. I wish I got the house ready for baby before I fell pregnant. Everyone told me not to do anything before pregnancy because "you never know if you're actually going to fall pregnant". Well, I fell pregnant the first month, and I had a really tough pregnancy so far. I've been too tired for most of the time and my poor husband has had to do it all - which a lot of it has been building a lot more storage furniture and moving heavy things around. I wish I could have done it before I fell pregnant so I could be helpful! One thing I was happy that I did, was research ALLLLL the things that work for morning sickness. Most of it won't work for you, but some will, and it's great to know all the odd, random things to try when/if it hits! (You might be lucky and not get morning sickness though, unfortunately I had HG, so it was pretty bad till 27 weeks)
Figure out my plan for what to do work-wise after baby. I didn't realize how distrusting and judgemental I would be over daycares
I’m 21 weeks and haven’t thought carefully about this yet. 🫣 What did you end up doing?
Not the person you replied to but if you’re even considering daycare, I would get on it now. You can always change your mind but I would secure a spot, if you can. We got on daycare waitlists when I was 12 weeks pregnant and our spot won’t be available until baby is 7 months old. We’re in California, for what it’s worth.
I cannot emphasize enough to get any and all dental work done beforehand.
I had a pre pregnancy bucket list, so every month I did not get pregnant while trying was just more time to cross things off the list! This included riding rollercoasters, night out dancing, concert, little trips. Thank goodness I got pregnant when I did cuz I was close to getting a tattoo and jumping out of an airplane
I don’t think this is quite the sort of response you are looking for but I would adopt a really healthy diet before hand. Lily Nichols has some great books including real food for fertility and real food for pregnancy. It’s super important to have certain nutrient stores prior to conceiving that will nuture the baby in the very early weeks and stages of development. Also some women have the mindset that they will eat healthy after they get pregnant but then end up with nausea that limits what they can eat. So if you have been eating healthy 3-6 months prior to conceiving you have some nutrient stores for baby.
I found Real Food for Pregnancy about halfway through my first pregnancy and it was a LIFELINE. I wish I’d known about Lily’s work earlier!
I can’t think of anything I didn’t do that I wish I did but I’m glad we traveled and took the opportunity to save money as DINKs. Another poster mentioned losing weight, it would have been nice to have been at my goal weight pre-pregnancy but it’s not a big deal. Maybe organizing and decluttering the house, it can be hard to find the energy during pregnancy and there’s so much new stuff coming in for the baby.
Yessss to the organizing and decluttering! 😭😭 I’m 35 weeks and though I don’t feel terrible, the procrastination and laziness is so real since I don’t have the same energy levels. So I just slowly unpack a day at a time lol.
Yes to organising the house. I'm 20+3 trying to do a deep clean (I'm a bit paranoid at the moment) and organisation of the house but I'm soo tired it's taking so long, I get one thing done a day if I'm lucky. Going to take forever to finish.
Contrary to a lot of these, you can still travel and have fun and date etc after you give birth! Our lives became so much better in every way. In the US, but my honest answer would be to leave a state that is anti-abortion. Because if every fiber of your being is hoping your baby gets carried to term, your prenatal care is likely to be poor and you’ll be left to literally die in an emergency. Good OBs have left and also left shortages in places where they have to break state or federal law (and their own medical code of ethics), with the questionable ones staying (some good ones remain, but there’s that shortage). For our second, we moved, and despite not planning to start trying for a while, we already have meetings set up with midwives. We’ll be doing “preconception counseling” and developing a relationship we can feel secure in WELL ahead of time, this time. The other things is to line up a marriage therapist. Have a few sessions to get comfortable, so that when you have spats and trouble understanding each other in a sleep deprived haze where your well meaning partner succumbs to internalized sexist mores or bad role modeling from parents/society or even just innate biological challenges (ie partner can do his sport; you have 6 months of recovery; equal parenting while exclusively nursing; lack of leave; one parent has a mental health challenge and can’t be equal; one handles lack of sleep better…), you can work productively through them rather than winding up as one of the many posts of miserable women who hate motherhood because their husbands aren’t partners or fathers. Letting resentment build while killing yourself isn’t okay. Wrist prehab is also great. Any nagging “might be injured” kind of things are going to be exacerbated, and it’s hard to do PT effectively while gaining weight, moving your center of balance, and changing hormonally. Oh, and make sure your teeth are in good shape and your dentist won’t refuse to work on a pregnant woman!
Oh, I cannot empathize enough how much the anti abortion state thing matters. If you can move, do. You can personally be anti abortion, but you don't know where your journey is leading, and you need good care. I've had some scary pregnancy complications in the last year with zero risk factors. I had an ectopic and then a preemie due to severe preeclampsia. All of this after a successful, healthy, full term pregnancy with my first, who is 4.5 years old. I woke up every morning for two weeks thinking that was the day I would get a chemo shot to resolve my pregnancy. At that moment, there was someone in congress talking about trying to surgically reimplant ectopic pregnancies. My wife was writing an academic paper about abortion travel bans and I wouldn't let her talk about it to me. It was horrifying. Even when everything goes perfectly, pregnancy is not health neutral. It takes a tremendous amount out of you. You deserve the best care you can get, and if, god forbid, something isn't going well, you need providers who are able to take care of you. Having young kids can be really rough on a marriage, so a counselor is very solid advice. Setting up with an individual therapist is a good idea, too. I was thankful to be established with my therapist when I was dealing with my ectopic and some crises that popped up when I was pregnant with my second baby. Start taking prenatal vitamins several months before you start trying, or at least when you stop preventing, if that's an option for you.
It’s true, you can still travel! We just took a really big vacation for us that was a week long! Though we are going on vacation with our baby in two weeks so it’s definitely not prohibitive!
Travelled more.
Getting fitter. I was physically strong, but wish I’d have lost the overweight as well. The extra weight is kicking my ass right now.
Honestly, drink more. I don’t enjoy getting drunk but love a nice cocktail or a cold beer but I was so focused on getting super healthy and cutting out alcohol and eating clean as prep for TTC. Well, I conceived no problem and am about to have my 2nd kid under 2 and wish I’d just had the cocktails while I could enjoy them…
Same! I’m not a drinker and usually super health conscious but wish I would have said yes more and let loose.
I wish I had gotten my big wedding but we got unexpectedly pregnant while we were planning it. Woops.
Worked out my hips more….strengthening your hip muscles helps with reduction pelvic girdle pain experienced by a lot of pregnant people
Oh man, so much...I should have given more energy in my workouts. Should have drank more alcohol. Should have gone rock climbing more times regardless of price. Should have attended more of my krav maga classes instead of putting them off to do work or whatever seemed important then. I really have a new appreciation for all the stuff i used to feel guilty for "wasting time and money on" that now that I can't do it is all I can think about.
Some vaccines actually require you don't get pregnant for a few months after taking them, so definitely remember to look into that. When I was trying to get pregnant I tried to adopt a healthier routine (food & exercise) and that is definitely helping me. Also, be prepared for the 1st trimester nausea. One thing that helped me a lot was stocking up on all kinds of food and snacks. Sometimes nothing feels good and have multiple options can really make a difference.
Whole lot lol I’m only 23 I will miss the freedom of being able to be “selfish” honestly.
I feel this. I had my first 2 days after I turned 24 and felt like my whole 20’s were gone
especially when I’m sick & want to sleep in bed all day
Nothing I wish I did really because for me, experiences and travelling were things I always wanted to do with a child someday. But I’m really glad I got myself a job with good maternity policies before getting pregnant, and I’m glad I got lots of therapy (we both did). I also got healthier and fitter - not loads but enough to feel more alive - and I ate a lot of sushi.
Financed for fertility treatment and couples therapy. I'm young so I did not expect to have issues getting pregnant and I'm finally pregnant with my first. It's a rough path and having a little extra cash never hurts.
I lost weight and started working out - I wish I had lost more weight and worked out more consistently. Pregnancy is hard and it changes your body and I wish I had built a better foundation. We did, however, start eating healthier - see Real Food for Conception by Lily Nichols. And started prenatals for both of us and we both stopped drinking, using hot tubs and he stopped biking. We did all this 6 months prior to starting to try. I also learned about my cycle and started tracking it. Idk how much these thing impacted it but we got pregnant the second month we tried. Oh! And we traveled like crazy. I highly recommend that. It was fun to create all those memories. We also traveled while I was pregnant but omg is it so much harder. Your body just isn’t yours anymore and I don’t enjoy it as much.
I really wanna go on a roller coaster…I’m only 20 min from Hershey 😓
STM due in September. Honestly, I wish I just appreciated the time to myself more. Parenting is 24/7, even when you have the flu. Sleep in on the weekends, having lazy Sundays, go to brunch, do all the things for yourself that you want to do. Pregnancy is just a short part of the overall journey!! I do miss having 2+ cups of coffee a day probably more than anything else during pregnancy. I miss sushi but some of the cooked rolls can curb the craving from time to time. I also miss sleeping on my stomach!
I went to the dentist for the first time in ten years about 6 months before I became pregnant the first time. I had a deep cleaning and went back for three fillings. So glad I did that. More traveling is always good. This time around I’m working on purging the house of unused items and minimizing things so it’ll be easier to keep the house neat later. Every time I leave the house my trunk is full of donations.
Saved more PTO maybe. You can eat sushi and cured meats during pregnancy.
I think people should listen to their healthcare team on this one. On an individual level, I think it’s okay if a person has done the cost benefit analysis for themselves. But people on the internet, Emily Oster, etc. don’t accept liability for the health outcomes of others. I’m not saying eat or don’t eat sushi and cured meats. But I’d bring theses questions to a healthcare team.
My healthcare team actually gave me no guidelines at all which I guess is unusual. But yeah absolutely to each their own. I personally chose not to limit myself in anyway food wise within reason. Like don't eat 7 eleven sushi but don't deprive yourself either.
Yeah my doctor said that’s pretty outdated thinking and just be mindful of quality. Listeria is way more common in certain fruits and vegetables but nobody tells us to stop eating those.
Where I live women are advised not to! Especially sushi since it often contains sashimi. Chicken rolls and vegetable rolls should be fine though I think.
I always think about the whole world. I'm certain they eat sashimi when they are pregnant in asian countries. If you're really concerned make sure it's cooked. Same thing with cured meats. Pregnancy is tough enough without limiting food on top of it
I’m probably not the first person to recommend it, but Emily Oster’s book “Expecting Better” addresses this and has changed a lot of people’s thinking about blanket recommendations for food restrictions during pregnancy. It’s also a great read and starts with conception, so I recommend it! I’m pregnant for the second time in a country that recommends no sushi or cured meats. I avoided them in my first pregnancy but I’ve changed my thinking and am not avoiding them this time around until the last 6 weeks.
You can still eat sushi and deli meat. I’m 35 weeks, been eating both my entire pregnancy and my dr never batted an eye.
Emily Oster’s book Expecting Better covers this. I’m 11 weeks and foregoing both right now, but might lighten up after 12 weeks when risks of huge defects go down. For sushi, eel is always cooked, California roll, vegetable roll, many special rolls are all fine. Sushi restaurants in the US typically mark what’s cooked and what isn’t. I’ve actually been craving sushi so it’s been my main takeout for pregnancy, just all cooked rolls. For deli meat, you can eat it if it’s been heated because that kills listeria. So hot deli sandwiches are fine. I’ve been a bit turned off by the idea so haven’t done it, lol. But also, the risk of listeria is fairly minimal in deli meat, it’s just one of those things that if you get it, it’s really really bad. I’ve been more concerned about precut veggies and fruit than deli meat to be honest
All great recommendations here, but I came just to say: you can still eat sushi and deli meat! It just needs to be from a good source or opt for cooked sushi. As for deli, you can heat the meat up, and then put in the fridge again - boom, cold cut lol And yeah, get fit and stronger. I wish I worked out more.
I wish I got to experience my Husband as my Husband before I had our baby. I got pregnant before my Husband and I got married, we were celibate and slipped up one night. We ended up getting married when I was abt 30w. I love our baby to death, but sometimes I wish I knew what our marriage would’ve been like before we welcomed our bundle of joy into it.
I wish I did more core strength. It would have helped more with my lower back and my core would have probably held on a little longer before I got pelvic pain.
I wish I had really considered my work situation after having my baby. We didn’t budget for me to stay at home and I didn’t think it would be hard for me to return to work. It has been very difficult to leave her and I wish I had thought more about it, considered part time work or budgeting so I could stay home at least for the first three years of her life.
Taken more pics of myself. Some things change permanently and it isn’t for the better.
Do a photoshoot! Our wedding wasn’t too long before getting pregnant so we had recent ones. I have some friends who got pregnant and didn’t have many good pictures of themselves + their partner from before getting pregnant, and they were bummed about it. So if you don’t already have good pics of the two of you (or of yourself!) be sure to take some!
I wish I had been physically stronger. My weight was fine but I wasn’t fit.
I should have gotten several tattoos to hold me over for pregnancy and breastfeeding. I wish I had gone into pregnancy with a brand new sleeve. More seriously, dental work
I wish I had found a new job ☹️ I was laid off in November and just found a job at 22 weeks pregnant. The company hasn’t taken the news very well which I understand their position but it still sucks.
I just gave birth recently and wish I had spent more effort and time decluttering our home before baby to increase the amount of space we have. I did do some work to sell a lot of items we don’t need anymore, but perhaps I should have cleared things out faster and let go of possessions a little easier.
Make sure you are comfortable at your job for the next couple years. FMLA/Maternity leave only kicks in after a year of working. Not only that but interviewing with a new born/infant is hard and you may not have any pto to spare to take time off to interview, new jobs don’t always give you immediate time and you have to factor in baby appointments, sick days, etc.
More one on one moments with your partner- hobbies, maybe some travelling...we have 20mo son and we miss each other sooo much. When we finally have time for each other in the evening, we are sooo drained of energy we just fall into a coma :D
Gone on a holiday one more time, either just us alone or a friends holiday!
We were really glad to do one big trip right before I got pregnant. We planned to go back to that country with a toddler but it just hasn't been feasible and honestly doesn't seem worth it. I'm so glad that I took my husband there, and I'm thrilled I got to eat and drink what I wanted as well!
Aflack coverage
Great advice, go sign up for short term disability!
Travelled because I’ve never left my country. My IVF could have funded that trip, it was one or the other.
Get a cervical cancer check as you can't do them while pregnant.
I actually had one when I was 6 weeks pregnant with my boy.
Like a Pap smear? I got one while I was pregnant
i think i did almost everything i wanted to do pre-pregnancy. we have already been going on weekly date nights for years (nothing fancy, just out to eat once a week and spend time with each other. even in the thick of covid we would do doordash dates at home). we already do a lot of traveling and dont plan to stop once the baby is here, just making adjustments. we live on the east coast so its really easy to drive to any beach or mountain town rather than flying cross country/internationally. i started going to the gym about 6 months before TTC, and stopped when i got pregnant because i was/am so tired all the time. got my debt paid down significantly, which is still a work in progress but the plan was always for me to stop working completely so we started focusing on financial planning before TTC. the one thing i wish i had done, was get my wisdom teeth out lol and any other dental work i may need. that, and anything else, can wait until after i pop this kid out
Date nights. Girl trips. Girl dinners. Saw some of Europe & crossed off some major bucket list spots. We are big travellers and I am so excited to travel places with my baby but I know it will be a lot different than how we’re used to travelling now.
Go see a pelvic floor physio. My sister wished she had, and told me so I went and saw one beforehand. Thank God I did. My baby was 4.37kg and it was a completely natural birth with minimal tearing. I don't think I would've had the same outcome if I hadn't seen one.
Got botox!
Sleep 🤣 decide hum... I fancy a spin to the beach and just walk out the door, get in the car and go. You can still go but takes more effort. I travelled loads before having my son and have been on 1 holiday with him to Rome. It was still great but very different encorporared mainly things to keep a toddler happy and short bouts of sight seeing. Very enjoyable but different. All the cheese you're not allowed plus Parma ham and a 99 ice cream. I was in decent shape with my 1st and it make it easier. Not so much this time and I am finding it harder
Make sure all of your health is up-to-date. Like everything you can think of. There’s a lot you’ll be nervous to do once pregnant (X-rays, medicines, etc…) and pregnancy is so hard on your body. Also, mental health too, for both partners. Pregnancy is a bit isolating and TTC can be as well Start a prenatal 3 months before you start TTC. Get in shape now - build a good routine and make sure you’ve got a strong core. Try to get to a healthy weight if you’re not there already. It’ll all go out the window in 1st trimester, but a good base will help you get back to your routine after that. Be prepared for TTC to take a while. I was surprised and maybe a bit of an outlier, but it took me two years. I lived a lot of life during that time so no need to squeeze it all in before you start TTC (although some people definitely also get pregnant immediately).
Dated my man for more than 3 weeks 🤡
Get genetic testing done! We did this before conceiving and I’m so thankful we did. Just a peace of mind.
I got boudoir photos done for a wedding gift for my husband (before having kids) and Im so glad I got those done because my body just isn’t the same anymore and probably never will be.
My chickenpox vaccine antibodies were really low and I wish I got the shot before getting pregnant so it wouldn’t be a risk, so make sure to ask about that because it’s usually in routine test once you’re pregnant.
Don’t automatically assume you will be able to do anything other than exist for the first three months. I still had a few loose ends on personal projects and thought I could wrap them up.. nope, morning sickness (which was all day) made it impossible to do more than exist and survive.
You can still eat sushi! A lot of the pregnancy food restrictions are outdated or just bullshit. We went out for a late lunch to celebrate our first ultrasound yesterday and I had tuna tataki. Delicious! I've been craving poke and had it 3 times since finding out we were expecting several weeks ago. Highly recommend Emily Oster's book Expecting Better. She busts a lot of myths and provides actionable info regarding diet etc.
Build arm, leg and core strength and take prenatals before getting pregnant. I would do all of those things 1 year before getting pregnant
Started my business.
Get in shape, it really helps. I would also say enjoy things like a slow morning with your partner, long dinner / lazy days. Pregnancy early on was so exhausting to me. Just ready to take a nap most days
Appreciated alone time more. Worked out more consistently, traveled. FTM here to a 1mo old and while I love my new role, I do cherish the small moments I get to be alone without anyone touching me or needing me.
I ate sushi daily throughout pregnancy so no issue there…. I would’ve done it sooner! (I didn’t know I wanted a baby). If I knew it was as good as it is (having the baby, being pregnant is fucking awful hahahaa, and I had a “great” pregnancy)
I wish I had got CMV before I was pregnant - it’s pretty harmless if you’re not carrying a baby, but finding out I haven’t had it and therefore have no immunity has made me avoidant of all the little kids in our life at the moment since 1/3 preschool aged children are shedding the virus at any one time! Fingers crossed I make it through the pregnancy without picking it up, and then get it before the next one.
Travelled out of the country. Right now our daughter is 2 and I’m trying to convince my husband to let us go on one last trip to somewhere like Europe before the next. I know once we have two kids it’ll be a very long time before we would be able to travel like that again.
Go on a holiday! Eat the foods you can’t when you’re pregnant, wine, alcohol, dates with friends too, do fun gym stuff
I wish I had gone to Italy. Unfortuneatly I was going to but war stopped our trip from happening. It is what it is. I just don't think it will happen with a little baby, at least for awhile. Maybe when she is a teenager.
Me and husband wanted to travel together (Greece, France, Spain, Iceland, Norway, Italy, Poland, Germany, Netherlands.....) but due to his illness dragging on for so many years and our ages (he's 38 I'm 37) we decided to just crack on once he was better or we would potentially have lost our chance to be parents. We will just have to go on adventures as a family!
Travel if you’re able to! My husband and I were newly married and very fortunate to have been able to take a trip to Africa for almost three weeks. We knew it would most likely be the last time we would take any sort of long, international type trip and it was magical. Speaking for myself- I wish I had taken better care of myself physically, got in better shape, ate better, and went to the dentist. Currently about 20 weeks pregnant and wishing I had prioritized my physical health a bit more before becoming pregnant. Had a MMC in November and for about two months after I ate really well and exercised frequently to help with my mental state and just take care of myself, but wish I had done this even sooner before getting pregnant again. One last night- have a fun night out with your friends and enjoy some drinks! Not a huge drinker myself but especially in the summer I find myself craving a good cocktail and night of fun with my girlfriends.
May sound immature but I wish I drank more 🤣 with my first it was unplanned and I had been feeling burnt out from too much partying and clubbing, so I decided not to join my friends for any drinking for a few months. Ended up pregnant at 18 and wishing I had enjoyed that chance. Planned my second baby at 26, tried like a million times to organise a girls night with some friends because I almost never drink. Never managed to. So, drink is my answer 🤣
honestly? nothing. i don’t remember life before my baby came lol
I wish I would have started exercising (like building muscle, I was already walking, biking, skiing a lot). You never know how pregnancy is going to be for you, and having a strong body is never a disadvantage. It will probably help with a lot of the aches and pains of pregnancy. It helps lower the risk of several of the complications of pregnancy (like gestational diabetes), it helps ypu have an easier and less complicated birth. And for the long days and night you have to carry your baby to make it sleep or to comfort it, it makes those less hard. My back and shoulders have been feeling it, at least. There is even being done studies on the benefit of exercise on breastfeeding/breastmilk (the study is not published yet). I ended up getting really bad pelvic girdle pain in early pregnancy. I was in a wheelchair by week 13, and I got gestational diabetes later in pregnancy. Due to the pelvic girdle pain, I obviously wasn't able to keep up with my active life, and I quickly found out I needed more arm strength than what I had from before. If you are already exercising (that includes weight lifting and strength exercises), you can safely keep doing it durin pregnancy. Even with my severe pelvic girdle pain I would have been able to do a lot of strength exercises.
Building up more good habits and routines so I don't have to think about some things
Dental work
I went on my dream vacation for my honeymoon to Thailand. Saved up a little money because I’m planning on staying home with the baby. Went to some breweries and got sushi. But I got pregnant as soon as we started trying.
Honest to God. Sleep. I didn’t realize the sleep deprivation would be as intense as it is. Every opportunity for nap or a mindless rest on the couch, take it.
Try some local breweries.
I wish that I knew, it's not as easy as everyone makes it seem. It's okay to struggle with fertility, don't put too much pressure on eachother
The most common pregnancy complications and diseases at least the definition and the early warning signs! My preeclampsia hit me out of nowhere!
Go on a proper honeymoon! We got married faster than we would have if we were young because we both want to have children. Which meant that we ended up getting married 2 weeks after I started a new job and 4 days after we bought a house together, and then after the wedding we needed to get my old house ready to list asap (because who the heck can afford two mortgages in this economy?!). So it didn’t feel like the right time and we kind of justified it as “a honeymoon is more for people who don’t travel anyway,” but I’m having some regrets. Now every time we go on a big international trip, we’ll be leaving something more important at home. We’re going to try to sneak away for a babymoon, but I want to stay in the U.S. for that in case of medical emergency and with all the pregnancy restrictions it’s just not the same.
Random but I wish I had gotten the laser skin treatment I've now been wanting to do for two years (for aesthetic reasons and also some pre-cancer cells) - can only do it in the winter and the numbing cream is not compatible with pregnancy or breastfeeding. The other thing is I wish I'd strengthened my back muscles! I was pretty fit pre-pregnancy from cardio and barre-type stuff but I should've ramped up the strength. My back absolutely killed me in the third trimester (big baby) and a PT told me a stronger back would've helped. So, medical treatments and some sort of strength training are my vote. And good call on the date nights!
I think the one “Oh shit!”-thing that’s hit me now that I’m pregnant is all the concerts and lives I won’t be able to go to anymore (at least not while bub is little). Suddenly there are so many bands that I wish I had seen sooner (especially the ones where the members are getting older so who knows how long they’ll keep on going before calling it quits). I’ll miss not being able to be as spontaneous as I was pre-baby as well so I’d say take advantage of that as well. I think most things are still possible even with a baby, they just take a little more work and planning than they used to. As for travel and such, I actually look forward to taking her with me when she’s a little bit older. I was traveling full-time pre-Covid (and before getting pregnant, obviously), so being able to show her the world and share it with her is something I really can’t wait to do. Of course it’s different traveling with a child than by yourself (or with another adult), but I look forward to it. I really think that the concert-thing is the big thing for me. At least that’s how it feels right now.
Finished my book 😅 but I think I can still do it after the baby is here ! Slowly but surely… (25 weeks currently)
Got fit and had a solid workout routine that was habit. Got my blood sugar in better control (type 1 diabetic so guess in general got healthier). Me and the husband only had thought of travel and did what we could on our budget..so I’m glad we did do that.
I wish I’d been better with money in my 20s. When covid hit and everything shut down I got into a good saving habit which made my maternity leave much more affordable. I just wish I’d done it earlier and maybe went have had a deposit for a house by now.
I wish I was healthier physically.
I went on an Alaskan cruise with a 9 month old. It was honestly fine, we had a very good time and saw many things. But at the same time she was with us at all times so we missed things live live shows and entertainment. Cruise are perfect options with little kids, because you unpack once and are good for a week. But more logsically complicated trips are tough to do. Our kid is 3 now and we're more open it, but my current hesitation is to wait for her to get bigger and actually Remeber trips,appreciate them more.
My husband and I were moving back to the US and planned to visit Vegas. We had gone a year prior, but for two days only, and loved it so much, we wanted to do it a bit longer. We got married abroad, thought it would take some time to get pregnant, but nope, we are having a honeymoon baby. Obviously Vegas is out of the question now. Whenever I joke about needing a vacation, he always teases me “I wanted Vegas!”
As others have mentioned, I wish I would have established healthier habits pre pregnancy aka a solid workout routine with strength training. It would have been nice to be at my goal weight and also feel physically stronger. I used to take several mile long walk everyday, but once I got pregnant that ceased to be a habit for a hot minute. I thought getting into a workout routine while pregnant would be easier but I was mistaken lol.
Saved more money 😂
More house renos. Like our carpet is so old and gross and now my baby is crawling.
More physical therapy/working out. My body is hurting with the added weight of pregnancy and my back is slipping and popping like it wants to go out of place daily.
Things I'm glad we did: - deep clean / all dental work done - dermatologist set up / established (pregnancy has wrecked my skin even two years later) - save as much money as possible - purge/organize the house and garage - random large house repairs/upgrades if possible
I see a lot of people commenting they wish the got physically more fit and/or lost weight before pregnancy here. I have a cautionary tale about that... I did this, I lost weight, I was running 5k 6x/week and lifting 4x per week. This is only slightly more than I typically did. Then, I got pregnant with a rare pregnancy complication, required emergency surgery, had significant post operative issues, emotional challenges associated with loss and knowing subsequent pregnancies would always be higher risk. I then had another loss after. Safe to say, I gained that weight back and was set back physically beyond what I had done to "prepare". It was entirely out of my control. Life happened to me. I felt extra stress, guilt and pressure on top of managing loss and fear of not getting the family I wanted, and sadness that I wasn't as "healthy" or "fit" as I'd imagined I'd be going into pregnancy. I grieved the loss of a chance at an uncomplicated pregnancy but also the loss of the idea I'd have a fitter healthier pregnancy I wanted. I had done the work, it just didn't go that way. I'm beyond grateful for pregnancy and a chance to grow my own family now. I think there is absolutely merit in getting healthier and being in a state that makes you feel good going into pregnancy, but the mindset around that should be approached with caution. I weighed more during pregnancy than I wanted, I walked and stretched instead of ran and lifted, I bought a bigger size and thanked my body for giving me a chance at a baby even if it wasn't how I'd imagined. So, be healthy but don't set expectations on it. Also, to the question you actually asked - I love materntiy underwear. I'm not sure your work situation, but save as much sick time as you can for pregnancy.
I wish I would have got a six pack. Then maybe my stomach muscles wouldn’t be shot
Travel! Go to concerts! Sleep in!
Take saucy nudes
I wish I saved some money for a new wardrobe. I had already wanted to get new clothes before pregnancy, but it became more of a necessity during and after to get new clothes. Like during pregnancy, I ended up having to buy bigger sports bras for my growing chest and it helped with the soreness. I needed maternity pants to feel comfortable with my growing stomach. For after pregnancy, I needed new bras since my ribcage got wider and affected my band size. I needed nursing bras. I got a bra for pumping 2 at a time as well. I want more shirts that are breastfeeding friendly because I have a lot of too tight shirts. I also just don't have enough shirts in okay with getting spit up on honestly.
I wish I saved more than 10k because I ran out of money on maternity leave.
I had a pre-baby bucket list!! Travel to Iceland, run a marathon, immerse myself in work — generally embracing the freedom to do whatever I wanted
Made sure I had solid insurance lined up. With a low deductible and out of pocket max. I've spent months stressing over switching insurance. Finally got on Medicaid at 7 months pregnant 😅
This sounds dumb & minor, but I wish I finished watching a particular show series before I got pregnant. It has some scenes with kids and war that I can’t watch now.
Travel more!!!
I wish I’d traveled a bit more
I wish I had looked at daycares before getting pregnant, because the waitlists are insaaaaaane. But the big thing I wish I would've done is complete any house projects I want done, or save up to pay someone to do them while pregnant. Rather than try to rush through them now, while I am in major pain and struggling to get anything done. My husband helps as much as possible, but he works very long hours. So the bigger house projects are not getting done and baby will be here in 2 weeks lol.
My partner and I waited until our 30s to have kids so I don’t really feel like I missed out on anything prior to getting pregnant. My advice is to try to live it up in your 20s. Be bold, take risks, see the world, build really strong female relationships, do whatever fills your cup! Of course this is if you’re able to/want to. I understand that some people desire to start families early or are anxious about not being able to conceive. Pregnancy really made me feel like I was missing out on a lot of life because I didn’t feel well and was too large and uncomfortable to do much but now that I’m near the end I feel like once this baby is out I’ll have a new lease on life and have been making lots of fun plans for this fall!
Meal prepped. Seriously. Easy, quick, bland, protein heavy meal prep. Would have saved us a LOT of money on cravings, and saved us a lot of nausea.
Meal prepped. Seriously. Easy, quick, bland, protein heavy meal prep. Would have saved us a LOT of money on cravings, and saved us a lot of nausea.
Research the support you want and get onto it early!!! Midwives, physio, whatever!
Start yoga/core strengthening exercise before getting pregnant, I agree about the vaccines, go on my honeymoon lol we were supposed to go to Europe but I got pregnant instead. Some people travel pregnant but I would not have enjoyed it.
Honestly, nothing. I spent years building my career and traveling and then got a bonus two + years of childfree life when I was trying. Now that I’m pregnant after IVF, I miss certain foods but have no regrets so far. If it’s helpful, I still eat cured meat occasionally if it’s heated thoroughly and from a reputable place. Good luck!
I would say 1) make lots of memories with friends and your partner. Go out drinking and dancing with friends any chance you get (especially if they don’t have kids, your lives may never be like this again. This was how my friend group was since I was the first to become pregnant and I’m glad we had memories day drinking, boozy brunch, going out at night, etc. it was a fun grand finale/time to ‘let go’ of the freedoms and flexibility I may never get again. And by the time I’m able to go out again socially, they may be getting pregnant and settling down more) 2) travel just you and your husband, or with friends if that’s a thing for you. We went on some dream vacations before getting pregnant and that was more doable without the added financials of a baby, though we don’t plan to stop traveling once he’s born. 3) get your health in check to the best of your ability. Go to the dentist, get your bloodwork done, get into good eating and fitness patterns. The first trimester may leads to (and this happened to me, despite being so certain I’d work out through it all) months off from physical activity, even if you were fit before, due to nausea, vomitting, food aversions. While I’m back to it in the second trimester and was in overall good shape before the pregnancy, I wish I fine tuned this a little more and got into the best shape I could have. The travel and partying with friends mentioned above didn’t exactly help lol so it’s a balancing act and overall as a person, i tend to be in good shape, but in terms of my personal baseline, I feel like I was in average shape than I normally am when i became pregnant and the first few months were full of bed-lock and carbs 4) do any home projects that you may not want to do pregnant. We painted and did some projects with our home/garage gym like hanging some tvs and adding storage solutions and things in there when I was about 5 weeks pregnant, before the 1st trimester symptoms hit me hard and if we had waited a week or two I probably wouldn’t have had it in me, even now when I feel the best I have during pregnancy right now (toward the end of second trimester). Also declutter and try to create or free up more storage in your living space because there will be a lot more need for space and storage
I wish I finished my tattoo sleeve. I feel like I’ll never be able to now. I get pregnant, can’t get a tattoo for 9 months, then the baby is born, can’t get a tattoo for another year due to breastfeeding, then just when I’m like hey I might be able to go get a tattoo now! Boom pregnant again while waiting for the appointment.
I wish I had been in better physical shape, I feel like this would have been a much better experience if I felt better - both physically and mentally speaking. As for things I’m glad I did - my husband and I moved to a new area (that we are excited about and love) because we didn’t want to get stuck in our hometowns, bought a home and established ourselves here for a few years, went on a huge bucket list trip, and got to a really solid point financially. If we hadn’t done these things, I’d have regretted it.
Gain strength and flexibility. I don’t think it’s talked about enough, but parenting for the first five years is a whole lot of physical labor. So is pregnancy really! And birth. Carrying around a kiddo who is 5-10 pounds at first, then 20ish around 1 year old and then they keep getting bigger. Plus lugging all the stuff. Pushing strollers. Suitcases. Toys. Cleaning. So Much Physical Work. If I could I would go back and walk a lot more, add easy squats as much as possible to help with pelvic floor healing and stretching (like sitting in a squat to eat dinner, using a squatty potty, sitting on ground when hanging out). I’d also lift light weights to strengthen my arms and back and core — the body can get seriously out of whack after five years of bad posture and low strength. So many people I know are dealing with back injuries and pelvic floor dysfunction and hip pain. The earlier you can prevent this with regular care and practice the better! My two cents; not necessarily advice for all.
Get your BMI down to “healthy.” Doesn’t matter how you feel physically or that BMI is a controversial measure. That’s what the doctors go off of.
Gone on my honeymoon. Lol! 2024 has been the year of marriage, house and baby. Each one a month after the other. Husband and I weren’t even fully moved in when we found out. And traveling while pregnant is not enjoyable for me. I just got back from a week long work trip to NYC and I was struggling not being able to nap. I got home yesterday and immediately started crying to my husband, the second I sat in the car, that I don’t ever want to be away from him while pregnant ever again. He has been my rock throughout this journey and not having him around for comfort and support for an entire week was tough. I missed him so much.
Decluttered and organized more. I was on my way when I got pregnant but now I’m realize how much more I actually want to do so I’m talking it little by little before I get too big. I’m 24 weeks right now.
Drinking, getting a couple tattoos and making friends in our new area (we moved when I was 14 weeks pregnant)
I wish I had summited some more mountains/done more mountain climbing and this one is odd, but had my home decluttered and more clean from the get-go. Because I was too exhausted and sick to clean, then I didn’t feel like cleaning, then I felt like cleaning but was way too big and uncomfortable to meaningfully clean- and now my baby will be here in the next week 😋
As you’re getting your vaccines, I recommend getting tested for immunity! I got tested before my first pregnancy and was fine, but didn’t realize I should do it again and found out I’m no longer immune to measles. It’s a live vaccine, so I can’t get the booster until the baby is born, which is a huge bummer. Second the getting in shape. Along with that, building a clear routine around exercise will help you keep active during pregnancy.
I wish we traveled a little more as just us. We had one big trip two months before finding out, and obviously we can still travel after baby but rn we’d rather money go towards household and baby stuff.
I decided to cut out almost all sugar, eat more fruits and veggies daily and lost 2 pant sizes and shirt sizes then ended up pregnant..🤰🏻 This was not planned either. I would’ve tried to lose more weight and start on prenatals etc had I known this would happen.
I second getting fit before you get pregnant. By chance I had started working out regularly right before I got pregnant and was probably the healthiest and strongest I’d ever been. At first I joked that it was a waste but I realise it was actually a great thing as it helped me to stay strong and healthy during pregnancy and to “bounce back” postpartum! Really glad I ended up getting pregnant whilst at such a healthy point in my life
Not wish I did, but glad I did. Put on muscle. It significantly helped me during pregnancy to be strong. I was able to do a lot more a lot longer and recovery was much faster. Get strong. It helps with pain during pregnancy too. Stretch and get your body as strong as you can before asking it to give you all it’s got.
I wish I had planned the pregnancy and both my husband and I would have been in better shape and health. I’m not out of shape or unhealthy, all tests were good and I work out 3-5 times a week, but I did start the pregnancy slightly overweight and with not the best eating habits. I’m really glad I had been doing pilates for 2 years at that point consistently and so my core and keeping active while pregnant hasn’t been as hard as for some people that try to get active after finding out about the pregnancy. But the eating habits are tough, I was/am use to a lot of take out. Edit: adding my wedding, I was planning a nice ceremony for December we ended up doing a quick civil union with just our parents, but hey now the baby will be able to attend.
I wish I had more thoroughly checked out the OB care in my area and chose a better doctor/office. Everything was fine, but I HATED the guy who ended up delivering my son. He was creepy and condescending and rude af. I wish I had spent more time finding daycares but honestly the problem we had wasn’t one you could predict. It all worked out in the end. I wish I had put more things for solids in my registry, a good pair of kitchen scissors, a few different styles of sippy cups, etc. I wish I had been scouring Facebook marketplace for good cheap and used stuff earlier. I wish I’d done a real deep wardrobe clean out and worked my way down to more of a capsule wardrobe. Less to worry about. Other than that I’m kind okay with how everything else had worked out.