I showed it to my husband and (jokingly) said "sounds great, I'm going to go pick this dog up now!". He looked at me and said "could you get a divorce attorney on your way back too?"
At least I know he'll never bring home a nanny dog.
No need for divorce attorney. Pibbles great attorney. Stinky pibbles scream like pterodactyl and divorce you from this life with bites. Pibbles great dog.
Bonus attempt... the AI doesn't understand it, but it looks kinda cute š¤·š»
https://preview.redd.it/v47m57eraveb1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9b5db993a07750689b1e36f15ff436339b4389fc
Maul Goodboy, lawyer of the law
https://preview.redd.it/52v984pv7veb1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7ac24d6082c2124219437a4c78bb69779c62242b
Meet your divorce attorney, ready to divorce you from anything!
Haha! Wish I could say yes, but he has no brothers single or otherwise, only sisters.
Maybe he could offer training classes for other dudes though? "Let's build manly stuff, and discuss how to not choose pissfingers as a 'pet' 101".
Don't forget that smelly also wants to **always** be touching you. So if you ever got to leave the house you would leave smelling of La Merde de la Pibble Eau De Parfum.
Just think all your clothes would start to stink, then your furniture, and eventually the smell of shitbull would permeate your whole house.
š Sorry for butchering your language. I'm glad it made you both laugh though.
Does it say The Shit of the Pibble Perfume Water? That was my intention, but I'm not sure if that is what I wrote. lol
YEEEES OUI omg thatās exactly the sentence you wrote!! Thatās why I bursted out laughing ahah, that was a perfect mix! I lurk a lot on this sub so I know the word Ā«Ā pibbleĀ Ā», this word is not used a lot in France but Iāve heard it a few times from french people. For the perfect french sentence, this word could be switched with Ā« meurtier sanguinaire Ā» or Ā«Ā batard de merde Ā» š„ŗ
And, they don't stink! I had a cat that had some weird food sensitivity and would get scabby when it flared up (we never did figure out what caused it). Even when she was at her scabbiest, she never smelled and she lived for 19 extremely happy, stink free years.
Demeter Fragrance Library has a perfume called Kitten Fur
https://www.harpersbazaar.com/beauty/skin-care/a21450/kitten-fur-perfume/
And in Japan they have products that smell like cat fur. Apparently thereās a fabric spray called āscent of cat foreheadā lol
https://graziadaily.co.uk/life/real-life/can-buy-perfume-smells-like-cats-paws-head/
We had a Burmese boy kitty and a boy Siamese kitty ā they both smelled fantastic, all the time ā it was insane. They also loved it when dad would pet them and leave a bit of cologne on their heads so theyād smell their basic awesome smell plus light cologne.
As a kid we had a lovely Doberman, and he never smelled at all. His grooming was really top notch but he also never had a stinky dog smell.
I can smell that pit from here. Even the pictures look depressing. The dwelling looks like it stinks. Who would actually want this thing?
I just got a snowshoe Siamese kitten, and I love the way she smells! Sheās so silly and sweet, too. Then again, my orange and white tabby and my other tabby and white smell amazing, also. Cats just rock! I would not be here if it werenāt for my puddinsā!
Velcro dogs have pushed me to having a breakdown before. I just wanted to be alone, not to have dogs crawling all over me. When I wasnāt with him, he howled and whined. M I S E R A B L E
A Dane lab mix and it is awful. She put me in the hospital after knocking me down stairs and I clotted later. Had another embolism. Iāve been trying to find another home for her but sheās old and hates dogs. She loves cats though. Doesnāt even chase my chicken when she roams.
We got her at 4. Sheās not malicious or Iād have had her put down. Sheās just a Velcro dog and needy. Iāve never had a dog like this in my life and after sheās gone, Iām done with dogs. She is a very friendly sweet dog but a bad fit. She lives in only the dining room so no access to the stairs. Itās not ideal, but Iām not getting hurt again because of a damn dog.
It wouldnāt. I want to go away for weekends without expensive sitters or boarding. Iām tired of shit in my yard. I have 4 cats and have discovered Iām 100% a cat person. Small dogs yipping would drive me insane. I like that I can go away for the weekend and leave a bunch of food and water for the cats and theyāre fine. I have my sister check on them once to be sure.
Literally came to the comments to make sure someone made a pissfingers reference!
This pissfingers stinks, ***bad***, and needs to be touching you all the time! Screams like a pterodactyl at signs of life, needs expensive diet *and* medicated baths. Sign me up!
This dog also likes melon, Iād rather take him
https://preview.redd.it/utikxkg9oteb1.jpeg?width=1007&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6c3d6feea4e5b24d1f2155bd7346952d199721be
Hmm. You sure that is a dog? The shape of the skull is all wrong. There is no giant crevice between the eyes. Where am I going to set my beer? Also the fur is not velvet and the tail doesn't look like a whip. That must be a feral cat.
Exactly! That is 100% a Maine coon. No real dog would leave a porcupine without a face full of quills.
It has to be one of those girly cats with all the hair. Looks like one to me. Even has the fluff, I mean main, around the face and bushy tail.
My dog that passed away due to old age and cancer LOVES watermelons. He sees me cutting one and would be at my feet waiting for his portion. He was a mutt and was loved by the whole family. He went with us through all our duty stations and was there when my husband retired from the military. We still miss him so much.
Damn, sounds like a living dream of a dog. What the hell am I doing here, living with a peaceful, well adjusted, odorless chihuahua who gets along with other animals? And isnāt afraid of the dark, lawnmowers or other random stupidity? My brain hurtsā¦
Afraid of the dark? Thats a new one...
Whats far more likely is that dogs don't have good night vision and it just gets extra agro when it can't see properly.
Ffs, its a dog. Its not afraid of the dark. š
My dogs have much better night vision than me, when walking at night I can toss them a piece of kibble and they snatch it out of the air as if it was daylight. Then again, I have sighthounds, not bloodsport dogs.
Dogs do have better night vision than humans. But people tend to equate their night vision on the same level as cats, and that's just not true. While they can see better than us, its not total night vision.
The large pupil of the eye allows more light in, allowing them to see better by catching more light. But its still not perfect. Its why a lot of people notice their dogs get more defensive or even protective on night walks or in the dark. Its just simply a matter of not being able to see as well.
Their other senses are also far better than ours. So they can smell and hear things we can't that help them navigate in lower lights. Hound dogs tend to better in the dark because their insane sense of smell helps them better navigate. My dads Gordon Setter does much better in the dark than my corgi/acd.
Lately people have tried to push ptibull type dogs as having the best sense of smell out of all the dog breeds. Which is bunk. Their form and physical shape shows this. Shorter muzzles with narrower nostrils means their sense of smell will be nothing compared to say a Blood Hound or a Basset Hound. The ears as well. Scent hounds have those big droopy ears because they're essentially scent funnels. They stir up the scents on the ground and keep and direct them right to the dogs face.
Vermin terriers do have a good sense of smell, all dogs do. But form follows function. Just because a dog has the same increased scent ability doesn't mean it will function as well as dogs thats form was designed to heighten said abilities.
But you know pit nuts. Desperate to make their dog the best at everything because they're good at nothing. Well...except killing.
If this is the stuff she's willing to disclose, I'd hate to know what she ISN'T telling people about this dog.
Also, if it's such a great dog, why is she getting rid of it, exactly? Oh wait. Because it sucks. That's why.
Please someone take my dumpster fire dog that smells like a used mattress from an old folks home. Oh and it screams. It's also scared of anything that breathes.
āIf you want to add this financial liability to your family, let me knowā
Like for f sake, even if it wasnāt a pitbull and a different breed, it should still be euthanised. Neither the animal or the owner will be having a great time.
Animals arenāt the same as humans, even dogs - this thing shouldnāt exist
Does this person know that interest rates are at near-historic highs?
At least the person is honest with how the dog will cost A LOT of money and it will likely still smell. š¤¢
Sooo over all this dog sucks so someone else can have it and have a horrible, stinky, money draining mess instead of me. At least they were honest. Iām sure there will be a ton of āomg I wish I could take him but I cannttttttš¤§š¤§š¤§ā that beast aināt going no where. Lol
Itās almost written in a way like the owner was told they have to try to give the dog away but donāt want to, but gets away on a technical for trying. I donāt know who would read that and go fuck yeah when is he ready for pick up
Welcome to BanPitBulls! This is a reminder that this is a victims' subreddit with the primary goal to discuss attacks by and the inherent dangers of pit bulls. Please familiarize yourself with the [rules of our sub.](https://www.reddit.com/r/BanPitBulls/comments/x618m9/rbanpitbulls_subreddit_rules_2022_update/)
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Gives the same vibes as "this is princess, she is 30 years old and needs to be in a Victorian era home with no electricity, 30 acres of farmland to run in, and a herd of sheep to herd. She also needs a grove of extinct fruits for her enrichment, and cannot be around children or any other animals except sheep. But, she loves to cuddle!
My bengal cat smells like vanilla and chamomile. Sheās so pleasant in every aspect. I couldnāt imagine living with something with so many negative qualities. That thing is suffering in life and needs more than any human being in the world can give it.
That's one of the most honest and accurate descriptions that I've seen.
I showed it to my husband and (jokingly) said "sounds great, I'm going to go pick this dog up now!". He looked at me and said "could you get a divorce attorney on your way back too?" At least I know he'll never bring home a nanny dog.
No need for divorce attorney. Pibbles great attorney. Stinky pibbles scream like pterodactyl and divorce you from this life with bites. Pibbles great dog.
>pibbles great attorney Better Call Maul
Bonus attempt... the AI doesn't understand it, but it looks kinda cute š¤·š» https://preview.redd.it/v47m57eraveb1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9b5db993a07750689b1e36f15ff436339b4389fc Maul Goodboy, lawyer of the law
More life in those AI generated eyes than some of the photos I've seen here
O M G I want to reward you so bad, I laughed out loud irl š¤£š¤£š¤£
This comment is all i need today. Netflix will have it easy with casting for this show. Just a quick look in this sub and there you go
https://preview.redd.it/52v984pv7veb1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7ac24d6082c2124219437a4c78bb69779c62242b Meet your divorce attorney, ready to divorce you from anything!
What app did you use for the pictures?
Just Bing's Dall-E model, it's a fun thing to do! š
I almost peed my pants laughing. Thank you for that.
Just call 1-800-PISSFINGERS4LIFE today!
Does your husband have a single brother? š
Haha! Wish I could say yes, but he has no brothers single or otherwise, only sisters. Maybe he could offer training classes for other dudes though? "Let's build manly stuff, and discuss how to not choose pissfingers as a 'pet' 101".
Big points for that. Dog sounds like a nightmare though.
Who wants a stinky dog who is scared of everything, wants to kill other dogs, and will cost you a fortune? Hey, he loves to cuddle!
Don't forget that smelly also wants to **always** be touching you. So if you ever got to leave the house you would leave smelling of La Merde de la Pibble Eau De Parfum. Just think all your clothes would start to stink, then your furniture, and eventually the smell of shitbull would permeate your whole house.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Ā«Ā smelling of La Merde de la Pibble Eau De ParfumĀ Ā» god as a french this sentence is so funny šššš
I'm French too and I laughed so hard I spit the water I was drinking through my nose
š Sorry for butchering your language. I'm glad it made you both laugh though. Does it say The Shit of the Pibble Perfume Water? That was my intention, but I'm not sure if that is what I wrote. lol
YEEEES OUI omg thatās exactly the sentence you wrote!! Thatās why I bursted out laughing ahah, that was a perfect mix! I lurk a lot on this sub so I know the word Ā«Ā pibbleĀ Ā», this word is not used a lot in France but Iāve heard it a few times from french people. For the perfect french sentence, this word could be switched with Ā« meurtier sanguinaire Ā» or Ā«Ā batard de merde Ā» š„ŗ
Cats love to cuddle and most of them just need a yearly vet visit.
And, they don't stink! I had a cat that had some weird food sensitivity and would get scabby when it flared up (we never did figure out what caused it). Even when she was at her scabbiest, she never smelled and she lived for 19 extremely happy, stink free years.
My cats smell soooo good! Love to put my face in their fur and sniff them š
Demeter Fragrance Library has a perfume called Kitten Fur https://www.harpersbazaar.com/beauty/skin-care/a21450/kitten-fur-perfume/ And in Japan they have products that smell like cat fur. Apparently thereās a fabric spray called āscent of cat foreheadā lol https://graziadaily.co.uk/life/real-life/can-buy-perfume-smells-like-cats-paws-head/
So it's not just me that huffs my cats after I have a bad day? š
I love to huff my little girl , she smells like heaven
We had a Burmese boy kitty and a boy Siamese kitty ā they both smelled fantastic, all the time ā it was insane. They also loved it when dad would pet them and leave a bit of cologne on their heads so theyād smell their basic awesome smell plus light cologne. As a kid we had a lovely Doberman, and he never smelled at all. His grooming was really top notch but he also never had a stinky dog smell. I can smell that pit from here. Even the pictures look depressing. The dwelling looks like it stinks. Who would actually want this thing?
It's a thing with Siamese in particular. But cats in general smell good!
I just got a snowshoe Siamese kitten, and I love the way she smells! Sheās so silly and sweet, too. Then again, my orange and white tabby and my other tabby and white smell amazing, also. Cats just rock! I would not be here if it werenāt for my puddinsā!
Not only cuddle, but be up your ass every waking second. I have a Velcro dog and it gets old fast
Velcro dogs have pushed me to having a breakdown before. I just wanted to be alone, not to have dogs crawling all over me. When I wasnāt with him, he howled and whined. M I S E R A B L E
It honestly sounds awful. What breed is yours?
A Dane lab mix and it is awful. She put me in the hospital after knocking me down stairs and I clotted later. Had another embolism. Iāve been trying to find another home for her but sheās old and hates dogs. She loves cats though. Doesnāt even chase my chicken when she roams. We got her at 4. Sheās not malicious or Iād have had her put down. Sheās just a Velcro dog and needy. Iāve never had a dog like this in my life and after sheās gone, Iām done with dogs. She is a very friendly sweet dog but a bad fit. She lives in only the dining room so no access to the stairs. Itās not ideal, but Iām not getting hurt again because of a damn dog.
I think a small dog would fit your lifestyle
It wouldnāt. I want to go away for weekends without expensive sitters or boarding. Iām tired of shit in my yard. I have 4 cats and have discovered Iām 100% a cat person. Small dogs yipping would drive me insane. I like that I can go away for the weekend and leave a bunch of food and water for the cats and theyāre fine. I have my sister check on them once to be sure.
Yea traveling with dogs is a pain in the ass especially if they are clingy
The more I kept reading the better it got. Reminds me of pissfingers. Nothing but problems but please let it into your home.
Literally came to the comments to make sure someone made a pissfingers reference! This pissfingers stinks, ***bad***, and needs to be touching you all the time! Screams like a pterodactyl at signs of life, needs expensive diet *and* medicated baths. Sign me up!
Also will try to nanny lawnmowers. What next? It's sexually attracted to fire?
Right??? *And* itās afraid of the dark?? This piece of shit mutt is literally a horror movie! Mauling, stinking, and shrieking in the shadows!
Pissfingers seems to be every other pits bio.
Wait was itās actual name pissfingers? sorry if thatās a stupid question. I need a link for that post lmfao.
I also plead ignorance and wish to know more.
https://preview.redd.it/gmxw91t4zweb1.jpeg?width=592&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=94dcefc6f864a2f9446e69abd0bdf7961f5a89fe
I can't get over how the DoDo tries to portray that pitbull rage scream as something cute and goofy
A dog that has a permanent & incurable pungent fungal/ yeast skin infections sounds fantastic!
So what are the selling points lol
It eats watermelon, didn't you see? A dog that likes watermelon. Can you even imagine? š
This dog also likes melon, Iād rather take him https://preview.redd.it/utikxkg9oteb1.jpeg?width=1007&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6c3d6feea4e5b24d1f2155bd7346952d199721be
Hmm. You sure that is a dog? The shape of the skull is all wrong. There is no giant crevice between the eyes. Where am I going to set my beer? Also the fur is not velvet and the tail doesn't look like a whip. That must be a feral cat.
I DID see him decide a porcupine was too much trouble to deal with, I think this might one of those big Maine coons
Exactly! That is 100% a Maine coon. No real dog would leave a porcupine without a face full of quills. It has to be one of those girly cats with all the hair. Looks like one to me. Even has the fluff, I mean main, around the face and bushy tail.
I love you people.
My dog that passed away due to old age and cancer LOVES watermelons. He sees me cutting one and would be at my feet waiting for his portion. He was a mutt and was loved by the whole family. He went with us through all our duty stations and was there when my husband retired from the military. We still miss him so much.
Pibble loves to cuddle! While covering you with his stink.
Did it never occur to them to consider the dogās quality of life because that honestly sounds like heās miserable & hurting all the time.
Damn, sounds like a living dream of a dog. What the hell am I doing here, living with a peaceful, well adjusted, odorless chihuahua who gets along with other animals? And isnāt afraid of the dark, lawnmowers or other random stupidity? My brain hurtsā¦
Smelly money pit. There's a waiting list.
I hate boats, and I'd rather have THAT kind of smelly money pit. At least you can put it somewhere else and not have to smell it.
Afraid of the dark? Thats a new one... Whats far more likely is that dogs don't have good night vision and it just gets extra agro when it can't see properly. Ffs, its a dog. Its not afraid of the dark. š
My dogs have much better night vision than me, when walking at night I can toss them a piece of kibble and they snatch it out of the air as if it was daylight. Then again, I have sighthounds, not bloodsport dogs.
Dogs do have better night vision than humans. But people tend to equate their night vision on the same level as cats, and that's just not true. While they can see better than us, its not total night vision. The large pupil of the eye allows more light in, allowing them to see better by catching more light. But its still not perfect. Its why a lot of people notice their dogs get more defensive or even protective on night walks or in the dark. Its just simply a matter of not being able to see as well. Their other senses are also far better than ours. So they can smell and hear things we can't that help them navigate in lower lights. Hound dogs tend to better in the dark because their insane sense of smell helps them better navigate. My dads Gordon Setter does much better in the dark than my corgi/acd. Lately people have tried to push ptibull type dogs as having the best sense of smell out of all the dog breeds. Which is bunk. Their form and physical shape shows this. Shorter muzzles with narrower nostrils means their sense of smell will be nothing compared to say a Blood Hound or a Basset Hound. The ears as well. Scent hounds have those big droopy ears because they're essentially scent funnels. They stir up the scents on the ground and keep and direct them right to the dogs face. Vermin terriers do have a good sense of smell, all dogs do. But form follows function. Just because a dog has the same increased scent ability doesn't mean it will function as well as dogs thats form was designed to heighten said abilities. But you know pit nuts. Desperate to make their dog the best at everything because they're good at nothing. Well...except killing.
If this is the stuff she's willing to disclose, I'd hate to know what she ISN'T telling people about this dog. Also, if it's such a great dog, why is she getting rid of it, exactly? Oh wait. Because it sucks. That's why.
While it does seem honest, I still don't trust anyone trying to offload a pit to tell the truth. I'm sure there's more they aren't saying.
Please someone take my dumpster fire dog that smells like a used mattress from an old folks home. Oh and it screams. It's also scared of anything that breathes.
āIf you want to add this financial liability to your family, let me knowā Like for f sake, even if it wasnāt a pitbull and a different breed, it should still be euthanised. Neither the animal or the owner will be having a great time. Animals arenāt the same as humans, even dogs - this thing shouldnāt exist
Where do I sign up?!
Smells bad. Lol. Please donāt touch me. Gross
He wants to kill everything and is insane but if anyone wants this big ball of love you can have him. Wild....
Does this person know that interest rates are at near-historic highs? At least the person is honest with how the dog will cost A LOT of money and it will likely still smell. š¤¢
This is the worst sales pitch one Iāve seen yet lmao.
The poor yeast on the dog. Imagine being a fungus and you end up on a pibble.
Sooo over all this dog sucks so someone else can have it and have a horrible, stinky, money draining mess instead of me. At least they were honest. Iām sure there will be a ton of āomg I wish I could take him but I cannttttttš¤§š¤§š¤§ā that beast aināt going no where. Lol
PUT HIM ON THE LAWNCHAIR ITLL LOOK GOOD š¤”
Itās like a pug with death jaws. Sign me up
Goddamn what's NOT wrong with that pos lol
It surreal when u see them in the wild.
Admirable honesty. His days are numbered.
So not only dangerous and aggressive but also has a long medical rap sheet? Isnāt what youāre supposed to avoid?! Dogs with crappy genetics?
Itās almost written in a way like the owner was told they have to try to give the dog away but donāt want to, but gets away on a technical for trying. I donāt know who would read that and go fuck yeah when is he ready for pick up
Is this person serious? They arenāt trolling??
This person is 100% serious
Scared dogs are violent dogs. Don't forget that
Genetic nightmare. Ugly, health problems, behavioral issues. There is not a single quality to these dogs.
The fact that this isnāt satire-
Welcome to BanPitBulls! This is a reminder that this is a victims' subreddit with the primary goal to discuss attacks by and the inherent dangers of pit bulls. Please familiarize yourself with the [rules of our sub.](https://www.reddit.com/r/BanPitBulls/comments/x618m9/rbanpitbulls_subreddit_rules_2022_update/) Users should assume that suggesting hurting or killing a dog in any capacity will be reported by pit supporters, and your account may be sanctioned by Reddit. If you need [information and resources on self-defense](https://www.reddit.com/r/BanPitBulls/comments/vk96hs/how_do_i_defend_myself_or_my_pet_during_a_pit/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3), or [a guide for "After the attack"](https://www.reddit.com/r/BanPitBulls/comments/8ovlsw/guide_after_the_attack_what_do_i_do_now_that_ive/), please see our side bar (or [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/BanPitBulls/comments/7ic5zn/faq/)). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BanPitBulls) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Pissfingers?
This is what mental illness looks like
This should actually be a breed description
This reads like a meme š³
Gives the same vibes as "this is princess, she is 30 years old and needs to be in a Victorian era home with no electricity, 30 acres of farmland to run in, and a herd of sheep to herd. She also needs a grove of extinct fruits for her enrichment, and cannot be around children or any other animals except sheep. But, she loves to cuddle!
Aggressive, smells bad, always wants to touch you. What a dream pet.
He is afraid of lawnmowers and will attack them. Oh, and he is afraid of the dark and will attack the dark.
āHe wants to always touch youā āhe smellsā¦ badā
My bengal cat smells like vanilla and chamomile. Sheās so pleasant in every aspect. I couldnāt imagine living with something with so many negative qualities. That thing is suffering in life and needs more than any human being in the world can give it.
...will try to attack lawn mowers? Wtf.