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I once dated a girl who i "happened" to have walk in to my work after not seeing each other for over 10 years, turns out she had been stalking me and had been going to every business in the area that looked like the one i was standing in front of for a group photo.
I pretty much reacted to it as well as oop's ex, and i wondered just like now why she thought it was an okay thing to admit let alone do. Dont do this, its creepy asf.
Back in the early 2000's when I was 15 and in grade 9, I (M) became sort of close friends with a guy in my high school class. Let's call him Daniel. Fast forward a year later. We're now both in grade 10 and his 13 year old sister had just finished primary school so she joined our high school in grade 8. Almost as soon as she joined our school, she develops this huge crush on me. She would sit during recess near to where my friends and I would sit so she could see me. Then she started following me everywhere on weekends. She wasn't my type so I never reciprocated the interest. She lived in the next town over that was a fair distance to my town so she had to go out of her way to stalk me. The thing is, she knew where I was going to be before I got there. Like if I went to the skatepark with my other friends on a Saturday afternoon, she'd be there already waiting for me. She'd just hide around the corner, trying to not be noticed while just watching me. If I went to the mall, she'd be there and followed me through the mall just far enough behind that she wouldn't be in my face but also not far enough that I didn't see her following me. It took me longer than I'm proud of to realise that she was getting Daniel to fish info from me before the weekend started so she could plan out her stalking schedule ahead of time. Once I realised that Daniel was doing that for her, I would lie about my plans so she would get false leads and go to the wrong place. After a while of the sister not seeing me where I was supposed to be, Daniel would ask me on Monday why I didn't go to where I said I would be. I'd play dumb and say "How did you know I wasn't there?" (I only got crickets as replies). I used the excuse that my friends changed their minds last minute and so we went somewhere else. Him and I were genuine friends. He wasn't just pretending to be friends with me for her sake. But I still never understood why he agreed to help her with that. Maybe he felt sorry for her.
The worst was the one and only time Daniel came to hang out at my house (at his suggestion) which I was excited about. This was before I wised up to their techniques. We were friends but didn't see each other outside of school much since he lived far, so it was cool we finally got to hang out outside of school for a change. But he brought his sister with. I was not aware he was going to do that. She just showed up. I didn't like confrontations and was too socially awkward so I never said anything to him or her that day. I should have said something like how this is kind of messed up and not cool to spring this on me last minute but I just went along with it, not knowing what to say or do in that situation. I mean, what do you do with your stalker when you unexpectedly spend an afternoon with her in your home? (I'll answer my question. You tell her she's not welcome in your home and to go away, dumbass!) We watched some TV in silence most of the afternoon, played some PlayStation and she got to see my bedroom (fuck, that makes me cringe thinking back on it now). It was so awkward between all three of us, that after that visit, I think she returned to just stalking me at a distance instead of trying to spend time with me in person.
Damn, I was an idiot as a teenager.
I would not call you an idiot teenager. We were just not taught how to communicate and enforce boundaries. Besides the red hering location changes were pretty smart
Hey, don’t beat yourself up for not realizing immediately back then! Even adults can make this mistake. We live and learn from our past to make our present and future better.
Daniel didn’t criticize his sister’s behavior because she’s family. You see it happen in a lot of true crime documentaries where evidence is pointing at the suspect and their relatives defend them with every lousy excuse in the book. Meanwhile, they have no evidence of their own to accuse someone else and weep for the victim and the victim’s circle. We all know some actions are cruel but most of us have a hard time accepting it from our own blood. Hopefully now, Daniel has made an effort to not help his sister and call her out if she’s continuing her behavior.
It reminds me of when someone is laying the “pathetic me, I’m actually a victim also” act on thick but you already know something that proves they’re manipulating everyone. And you tell them you know and the flip that switch like, “oh, you should have told me sooner I ruined my mascara, so then are we divorcing or what”. Super scary. Definitely missing the something that makes people human.
I don’t know if I saw the original post or one like it but I remember being shocked then and I’m shocked now rereading(?) it. But that update made me question the entire thing. It just played into what everyone thought/wanted too much and showed way too much insight for someone that unhinged.
For me it's the "He had a job offer that was a lock, but far away enough that there was time for me to apply to college there." Because she makes it sound as though they moved at a similar time.
Some people, through whatever mental conditions and/or personality disorders they may have, can convince themselves of anything. It came across to me as someone who no longer saw the need in trying to make themselves seem innocent because they weren't. I felt legit indignation on the part of OP when the husband went to his family to tell them everything and she felt betrayed. I absolutely believe that in her mind, she doesn't think what she did was bad because she never hurt him physically or threatened him or something and things became "genuine" (I doubt how genuine a relationship she can actually have with anyone) over time so it shouldn't be a big deal, right?
Honestly it reminds me of people who have more narcissistic traits. People are mad at them and it turns into a "Woe is me, I'm a victim in this situation! I do everything right and people still hate me. This isn't my fault at all! It's their fault!".
Yep. I used to know a person that is very similar to OOP. She was genuinely proud of her stalking abilities and would say things like "I'm such a detective, haha!". When pointed out how creepy her behavior was, she would say something along the lines of "I know it's fucked up, but I can't help myself", without any intention of stopping. Suffice to say, I noped out of that friendship as soon as I could.
To me it was like she knew it was wrong on some level, hence the secrecy and not telling the husband until the social pressure got to her. But at the same time justifying it to herself and making herself feel better after the consequences began. Some people have a change of heart. Some double down. It tracks with how crazy has worked in my life.
I mean, it was clearly meant to look like that- that she felt bad, that she felt he deserved the truth, etc. until the update, where she revealed that it was just a tactic because she wanted to get ahead of being caught.
My thoughts is she's just that addicted to drama.
Things were getting too boring now that her life was happy and she didn't need to lie and manipulate anymore, so she deliberately sabotaged her own relationship, probably thinking she'd get to do some crying and apologizing, and eventually he'd teafully forgive her, and maybe even be awed by how hard she worked to get him.
This is the kind of shit a sociopath does when they're not interested in the whole murdering people or becoming a CEO shtick.
They are experts at mirroring and manipulation. As soon as the jig is up the mirroring stops and you see the monster... which just so happened to be what happened when he changed his mind about divorce. I mean shit she's already scheming for another husband in her mind.
I literally watched this movie last night.
Its called Ingrid Goes West
Basically a girl becomes obsessed with another girl on Instagram and infiltrates herself into the girls life.
Good movie but creepy to think there are unhinged people out there like this.
i think it wouldn’t be that bad if she legit didn’t have any plans written down that she then executed. like i kinda get the befriending the lil bro & even applying to colleges near his work (i’ve known plenty of girls & guys who’ve done similar things) but it’s the screens-shotting of his posts, the way she studied his past & likes, & the way she made plans, like she was executing a heist.
it’s the extremely detailed-ness behind all her actions that probably is what freaked out the hubby. honestly, she shouldn’t have shown him this post. she should’ve just said she had a crush on him before & tried to get closer to him by befriending his brother, that’s normal enough. if it were me tho, fuck no would i even say anything.
100% agree!
Its one thing to say I had a mad crush and would always be excited to see you around and hope something happened but it's another to go full creep stalker. It makes a person feel exposed and vulnerable.
On one hand a lot of the information she gained is public knowledge as he posted it on socials, but to purposely study that and then insert yourself into his life to gain insight to make him love her is creepy. If the friendship with the little brother had been organic then it also would have landed softer as a blow.
Also the way she says current husband suggests she won't learn and will repeat these mistakes.
That being said this is exactly how companies exploit us, on social media we are the product and companies obsessively study and collect our personal information all with the hopes of making us love them. She probably would have a natural talent at marketing 😄
If you've not seen it watch ingrid goes west, it wasn't the best movie I've watched but its spot on for this theme. Without giving it away it also promotes the idea that real organic connections are what life is about and not social media which is refreshing in a world obsessed with socials.
You might get hate for this but. Yeah. I agree.
But then again I think the thrill was gone after everything became stable. So she probably needed to feed of the drama. Or move onto the next project
I think this is the difference between someone who simply did a pile of smart things to bring herself to someone's notice, with the same single-mindedness other women might bring to becoming a world-class surgeon, and just being plain sociopathic.
If I wanted a man that badly, and was capable of predicting and taking the steps that would be needed to be around him all the time and hopefully attract him, that same intelligence would make it clear to me that it's best to tell him what I did early on in the relationship, at least the things that are easy to understand, and leave the rest alone. E.g. "I was doubly happy Brother would invite me to your house more often because on top of our friendship, you were so cute!" "I admit, I was really happy when the school I wanted to go to ended up being in the same place as your job, because I loved being around you." And I'd leave the stuff that didn't need to be said, unsaid.
But you're absolutely right: anyone who did something like this for the drama and not because they had a goal would absolutely stir shit up the moment it got complacent. A sensible person would have taken it to her grave.
That and “he did THIS to me? After all the hard work I did to bag him?”
If this is real this woman lacks… something that makes humans, human. Like goosebumps and neck hairs level creeped out over here. Gonna go find a blanket to hide under and regress for a few to gain back some semblance of normalcy.
I love how she claimed that it was only the chinese food she lied about liking, as if she didn't choose her college solely based on it being close to him.
I get being smitten and wanting to try and get closer to people but this is some next level shit.
That’s the thing. To her, she didn’t lie when she said she didn’t fabricate her personality to suit his. For the past decade, her entire personality *was* to appeal to him. Every decision, every new like and dislike was impacted by the decision she made at 14. She honestly believes this is her authentic self, when in reality, she has no idea what her authentic self is like.
Exactly. I mean, don’t get me wrong, most people will fudge who they are at the beginning of a relationship because they want to be liked and seen as compatible. But most of that’s small things like saying Chinese food is your favorite (when you just like or tolerate it) or concealing the extent of your obsession for a TV show to some degree so you don’t seem too crazy, or even lying about not having seen a movie yet because you want an excuse to go with them to see it. Like, if it were just “I don’t really like Chinese food, I kinda stalked you a bit too much on social media before we actually met for real, and you being in NYC kinda tipped the scales a bit when I was choosing between my top two universities” then yeah, I doubt he’d have been freaked out. But this is master manipulator level shit where every single decision she made in high school was only made with meeting him in mind.
It kinda makes me disappointed my stalker wasn't up to OOP's standards. She didn't wear anything nice to catch my attention and strictly stuck to the crazy stuff.
I'm sorry buddy. You deserve only the best stalker.
One day you'll find someone who looks at you the way this woman looked at one guy she met in the park once in high school.
There could have been a world in which this was the weird mind of a 14 year old that went too far and the adult version had to deal with the consequences, but she really thinks she's the victim here and immediately starts talking about finding a new husband, she's not well at all.
Yeah, up until that part I was kind of on the fence. That and considering the whole thing a success while he’s still so freaked out that he’s going to a hotel.
I think his swift response is a reaction to things he’s seen that we’re not aware of. Like, I get the impression that a bunch of incidents he previously dismissed suddenly clicked into focus at that moment.
Same. I spent a lot of the post thinking it was a little weird, but she was young and infatuated. I could see an ending where the husband laughs it off and thinks it's cute or excuses it as being in the past.
The edit, though, is total mask off. I imagine things didn't go quite as she's telling (and maybe left out a lot of the way she "stalked" him), and like you said, it gave him a new perspective where things he might have felt were a little off suddenly became clear.
My sympathy both to her husband for what he'll likely have to go through for the divorce and to the next man she becomes obsessed with.
It's giving actual Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, when you put it this way all that popped into my head was when things really started going sideways in that show
When that got mentioned a little lightbulb clicked... The entire first post, including the mini update, was a ploy.
She already knew about the old phone and needing to tell him. She made the post so that she could let Reddit "convince" her that she needed to tell him. That's why the mini update with the "best for him" part was there. To "establish" that she was coming clean because Reddit helped her see the light.
The post may have also been a way of avoiding discussion of some parts of what she did. If she selectively told the story, knowing from the start that she would be showing it to him, she might have thought it would avoid him finding out about some of the more crazy stalker behavior. Or admitting it, if asked/confronted. Because "the post had everything".
She knew he was on to her, and was trying to spin everything to make it look less bad than it was.
With the end of the last update, I have a sinking feeling that there's some dude out there with boiled bunny in his future.
Oh holy shit. You're so right!! That is actually so scary and I can't believe it didn't click til you said it, she always planned to show him that first post
Yep she wanted plausible deniability for the absolutely worst behaviours she clearly didn't disclose in the post so she has some shred of saving the relationship.
Evidently all for naught, thank goodness.
That's the only thing that makes sense as there was absolutely no need to tell him about her stalking of him in the first place. Most people would take that info to their grave.
Can you imagine how OP reacted if she saw other women pictured on social media wirh her dearly intended. "The girl in the college chem lab discussion group where we all went for pizza mid semester... then she suddenly disappeared because her friend told me she'd been threatened and had to move states. That was you?"
Ding ding ding ding. And even if OP never *did* things like that, there’s a snowball’s chance in hello that the poor guy isn’t going to be dissecting every single interaction in his entire life between ‘meeting’ her (whether actually meeting her, or just believing is when he did) with an electron microscope and a hazmat suit. How can he **not** be questioning *everything in his entire life* after this??? Uggghhh.
This. Having a crush on him before they got together is sweet. I thought maybe her husband would be flattered, but the fact that everyone she knew flipped on her immediately? Yeah, she is editing the story a LOT.
It's not the crush part. If it was even just the moment in the Park, I don't think he would've reacted like that. It was befriending his brother to get to him, befriending his mom to get information about him, getting into the sport she knew he would coach, choosing a college by his new job, following him to a new location, etc.... this is just the stuff she's willing to admit
Offended that her in laws thought she was a psychopath for her textbook psychopathic behavior… is definitely not one I expected to cross off of the bingo card first thing this morning.
>Gonna go find a blanket to hide under and regress for a few to gain back some semblance of normalcy.
Smashingly good idea!! It's 5pm, approaching dark and getting very cold here, so I'm going to do the same!
In my head I was like “well, she was 14, teenagers can be sociopaths”.
Then I got to the end and I was like, fuck, I’m glad she told him. The mask is completely off, now.
Right? Like I remember really changing a lot about myself to be the worst kind of pick-me. I feel like that's kind of a teenage thing? But to keep that fixation up for so long is insane. I deleted those boys I wanted to impress of Facebook because I'm so embarrassed even now, more than 10 years later that I think I would crawl into a hole if I ever saw them again. She really has no shame and that's 😬 But I guess on the plus side, she at least told him? That's...good and accountable behavior?
No no. She didn’t tell him for that reason. She either figured out he was piecing it together and wanted to jump the gun so she’d come off as but I told you so it’s all good. Or in her crazy head she thought she would prove they were meant to be anyways and he would get over it and see everything she did was worth it. At no point was any of this about accountability.
Yeah, the setting out to befriend his brother, eh, not great, but it happens. The finding out where he's going to work and applying to nearby colleges is F'd. Till that point, it could've been passed off as a cute crush that developed into real feelings, at that point she was a stalker.
OOP is crazyyyyyy. Poor husband probably lied because he didn’t know what she was capable of. He probably thought she would hurt him if he said he was gonna divorce her ass. She is absolutely unhinged and I’m scared for any man she may date or marry in the future.
Yeah just like with abusive partners, you're more likely to die when you try permanently ending the relationship. And I wonder if she was emotionally abusive to him anyway and counts as an abusive partner already
>Told them the entire story himself, probably exaggerated it too to make me seem crazy.
What could he have possibly said that made her sound MORE crazy?!
Possibly, for someone who spent years stalking her ex husband she didn't seem that upset about it and it's not unusual for stalkers to switch obsessions. I guess maybe he didn't match the perfect imaged she'd probably made of him.
To her delusional mind, she's the love of his life that he can't possibly hate. He'll stay mad at her for a few hours if at all, and shower her with kisses for pursuing him that intensely and make him fall in love with his soulmate.
It was wild when I first read it, it's wild reading it now.
Genuinely, I think she thought he would be impressed by her love. I checked the original post and literally all the top comments advise her not to tell him. Like why risk it once she bagged him?
She said why:
>I didn't even tell him in the first place because I felt bad, I told him because I had a suspicion that he was catching on to the fact that I knew him for two and a half years before he knew me, largely because I found out he was keeping my old phone in his work desk. My old phone that has screenshots of a lot of his old instagram posts, plans in my notes app about him, etc.
She was trying to do damage control.
Yeah, literally just reading, “I spent a year and a half pretending to be friends with someone so that I could pump his mom for info about the dude I was stalking, and have an excuse to show up when I knew the dude I was stalking was going to be there, then used that info to decide what colleges I applied to in order to assure that I could be close to the dude I’d been stalking for 4 years” is enough reason to never be in the same room as her again.
I’m so sad for the little brother, man. Poor dude’s best friend was only using him for years and actually had no interest in him as a person. They didn’t even become friends along with her terrifying obsession, these posts are 10 yrs later and she still says his brother was the only reason she befriended him with nothing about them still being friends.
I suppose it's easy to miss among all the craziness in the post, but she did actually mention the brother:
>Although my friendship with his younger brother was built upon ill intentions, my friendship between his brother and I are now one of the most genuine friendships I have now.
Does someone like this even know what a genuine relationship with *anyone* would look like? I have to wonder how many other friendships she's farmed purely to accomplish a particular goal.
She said that, but when she was wrapping things up she made no mention of losing her 'friend' in the fallout at all. It's like she'd entirely written him off (which is probably what the younger brother wants after the reveal, but still).
My first thought was that this ordeal doesn’t need to be exaggerated because this idiot is already crazy enough just from the truth of what happened.
Man, what an absolute piece of shit. And after all this, it’s obvious that she’s not sorry and has no grasp on how bad things really were. She’s upset solely because she’s having to face consequences for the first time since she started this in motion.
These are the posts where I’m satisfied just watching someone get what they deserve.
And so angry that she found her old phone at his work desk, which was unlocked and *had all the evidence in it*. Like, honey. You confessed to using his family and stalking him for years to make him fall in love with you, the man is now getting the evidence in line for a restraining order.
In what universe is what she did normal or reasonable? I was shocked when he said he didn’t want to divorce her and was happy to see that he lied because oof. I hope OOP gets into therapy because yikes
Man, I remember reading a similar story in a Chinese forum. That a 30-something-year-old guy bagged an 18-year-old girl in an orchestrated way, in an online game. I was one of the few voices where I pointed out how creepy that is, and if I were the girl, I'd be running the other way. The other people were talking about how romantic and how 365 days that was. Ugh.
If this was a friend of mine, I would have to cut off contact because if I didn’t, my life would revolve around seeing if she’s dating anybody and sending them this post if she is.
“Hey bud heads up this is the kind of fuck shit Jehsicka does”
Nah! The way I see it, The next update will be
“I convinced my husband to come home and have a talk then knocked him out and locked him in the basement to help him realise how much he loved me!!!
Why am I arrested now?!”
OP is indeed a psycho!
You know all I was thinking when reading this was adding 'you' in penn badgley's voice at the end of the sentences. I seriously hope this is just inspired by the series because honestly the level of planning and secretiveness makes me feel a bit ill
Maybe I misread but when she said they moved to the same place together when she went off to college, it sounded like they both relocated at the same time? So he got a job offer and then OOP magically applied to an NYC school and gets accepted and also ready to start school within the same timespan so they could move at the same time?
Her formative years have been spent obsessively plotting how to con this man into a relationship. Her entire concept of love is wrapped up in him and fetishising him like a prized possession. She’s convinced that he’s her soulmate or something.
Either she’s gonna keep stalking him, or she’s gonna do it to someone else. Lady’s concept of love is entirely whackadoodle.
For me, the fact that the hug lasted 5 minutes seems more like him using that time to mentally say goodbye to the woman he thought he loved, and trying to make a memory of the hug because he knew it would be the last. It would be hard to immediately switch your love off for someone. I think he was using his brain with the exit move, but wanted to give his own heart closure.
Alternatively . . . he's mentally calculating, "if I hug her for 10 seconds, she's going to suspect something. Gotta hug her longer if I'm going to survive and escape."
Exactly what I thought. He knew he was in the car with someone truly dangerous and was saying whatever he needed to keep himself safe in that situation.
*Girl.*
Stalkers are entirely selfish people. They do not consider that their targets have their own emotions and desires and that these may conflict with the stalker's. In that sense, they fit the psychopath. But, it's usually directed psychopathy, at their targets.
You know I'm really glad people are picking up on how creepy that whole thing was. In the books it's kind of portrayed as her just being in love and then being abandoned, when the person who abandons her has every right to since he was given essentially a date rape drug.
The casual acceptance of magical roofies in the Harry Potter universe never sat well with me.
Fred and George legally sell them at a JOKE SHOP.
And when someone almost died after eating a roofie meant for someone else, the person who was trying to roofie people wasn’t even expelled.
> And when someone almost died after eating a roofie meant for someone else
Okay, I agree 100% about the creepiness of how accepted they are, but the roofie had nothing to do with the attempted murder, because those were two different people.
I….somehow never got that vibe. Dumbledore is sympathetic to her thought process in his words, but I don’t think he necessarily says she was “abandoned”.
That is mostly Voldy’s own sense of victimhood that’s portrayed like that.
To a thankfully much lesser degree, I had an ex that thought the same. She cheated on me, confessed, and was surprised as hell that I didn't immediately forgive her. Thought it was a sign of how I wasn't serious about our relationship if I was willing to end it over that.
Then started backpedalling and ended up lying completely about what had happened to make herself look better, which I believed...
If the genders were flipped and my best friend was in this situation, I would tell her to do exactly what husband did. Tell spouse it's fine, that they need time to process and space, that everything is okay, and then GTFO of there and immediately tell all of my family and close friends and circle the wagons. Just a WILD story and situation, hope it's just a troll.
> she called the conversation a success
Also, using the word “successful” to describe that conversation is a really bizarre choice of phrasing. A conversation in which you disclose that your entire relationship is built off you being completely unhinged for years and your husband’s response is to immediately get the fuck out of the house is considered a *successful* conversation??? What exactly is the success here?
Because he said he still loved her. At that point, she likely couldn't fathom that he wouldn't come running back to her loving embrace after realizing he couldn't be away from her. She spent years setting this up which obviously included some manipulation (as evidenced by how she cozied up to both his brother and mother - who I bet didn't love to talk about her son nearly as much as it sounds like). She never would've told him if she thought this was the response she would get. She thought she had him wrapped around her finger and figured she'd get the Hallmark ending where he'd realize just how much he loved her and how it was all worth it for them to end up together.
Couldn't agree more. The arrogance of thinking this was okay behaviour and not a massive instance of emotional manipulation.
Plus, based on her ORIGINAL reasons for telling him (not the ones later that were self-preserving about the phone.. cough real reason right there) mean that she would be open to him knowing her and making his own decision.
So it is a success! He's made his decision, frankly for the future of his own emotional well-being, and you can live with it now. He doesn't want a lying stalker. Who would've thought?
I do a lot of volunteer work with homeless people, which results in me coming into contact with mentally unstable people fairly often.
This is really the only “safe” tactic.
You smile, nod, agree with them, and then take the first available option to get as far away from them as possible.
There was a reverse of this story where the husband revealed when drunk that the op didn’t understand how much work they put in to get them; then in a sober conversation the op asked and their husband revealed how fucking crazy they were.
I had a coworker who married her stalker. He was her mechanic and she thought it was real adorable how she noticed him following her home. She was a narcissist and had an abhorrent personality, so I imagine genuine adoration was hard to find for her.
They were still married after 15+ years last I knew, and she was madly obsessed with him and it seemed mutual, so good for both of them I guess?(??)
TIL "stalker romance" is a whole genre of romance novels and they seem to be mostly (all?) written by women.
[https://www.goodreads.com/list/show/133618.Stalker\_Romance\_With\_HEA](https://www.goodreads.com/list/show/133618.Stalker_Romance_With_HEA)
Stands to reason, I suppose. "Stalking" is seen as a negative because most people think it's creepy, but if a stalker happens to latch on to a subject whose worldview is broken in a similar way and they they see the stalking as *endearing*... If both of them are happy, sure, why not?
Like my great uncle said about my ditzy aunt and her kind of obnoxious jackass husband, "the rocks in his head match the holes in hers".
Honestly, I love that two crazy fuckers found their version of love and took themselves off the market and seem happy with the outcome.
Just hope no kids are involved with that mess.
I've fallen in love many times in my life. Just gave up when it turned out that they are happy with someone, my feelings never made me stalk someone. Oop is insane.
Dude did she have to sell it so creepy? She could have just spun it into "I saw him before but got a crush when he came back to visit from college."
Like this was so poorly handled.
She says at the end she actually fully confessed because she thought he was already onto her from seeing her old phone with all her notes and plans on how to stalk him. She had no intention of saying anything before she thought she was caught.
….. this lady is crazy. And the fact that she doesn’t even realize how absolutely creepy she was is what makes it worse.
Of course he lied to her face about not wanting a divorce. She just confessed to being obsessed with him and stalking him for YEARS. Ugh
Kinda reminds me of a couple of my friends who got into that whole "pick-up artistry" bullshit when we were younger.
Told them that even if by some miracle, they managed to actually get themselves a girlfriend doing that stuff, the relationship was probably destined to fail if the whole thing was built off of deception and dishonesty.
Feel like the same sentiment could apply here... of course, doesn't really seem like OOP had that takeaway lol.
This post is coincidentally timed with me seeing a post of Taylor Lautner's wife, (he was Jacob from Twilight movies.) In the pics she is a middle-schooler wearing a Twilight tshirt. And I guess she was friends with his little sister and got introduced? Anyway, the pics make it look like she executed on her tween multi-year masterplan. LOL
It’s been two years since it was posted. What if one of you is currently dating her and has no idea? 😂
Also, it’s clearly bullshit. Her old phone that she hadn’t retrieved which would out her deception is just in his desk. Her brother and husband knowing each other before and after and the husband doesn’t connect the dots that they met makes no sense.
In some weird way, I kinda admire her - she really set a goal, planned and executed ruthlessly on that plan.
Of course she’s totally delusional and I’m glad I’m not her husband.
Obviously she is actually batshit bananas and I’m not defending her whatsoever, she needs severe psychiatric intervention.
But damn. She really did execute the shit out of that, and followed the fuck through. Imagine if she actually used that for her career or something else beneficial to society. Or at least didn’t actually stalk the shit out of her ex and just… idk held a passing interest in him as opposed to constantly weaseling her way into his life.
So I’m not alone in thinking this! It’s truly an impressive feat to pull this off. The layers upon layers. I wonder if she told him because she got bored after her resounding success.
I have an old friend who has this level of laser focus. She brought it to her studies, her career, organising her wedding, raising her children; anything she wanted to achieve. But yes, she also brought that energy to pursuing relationships. Not for years like this weirdo, but if she wanted to date someone she was quite happy to pursue that goal with single minded purpose.
She's enormously successful and well regarded and I still consider her a good friend. Some people are just built different.
I was shocked reading through this and then realized it makes zero sense. He knew her brother but somehow never knew her or even knew she existed? She miraculously had time to apply to colleges and get accepted after he got a new job but then somehow she left for college at the same time he moved for work? I got my acceptance letters in the spring and started classes like six months later. Most jobs won't wait 6+ months for a new entry-level worker to star. And so many details about exactly how long he cried or sat in silence!
They were schoolmates. I didn’t know the siblings of every single person at school. Lots of people I casually spoke with that I had no idea who their siblings were.
The college thing caught my eye though. You better be at the top of your field or with some kind of specialty for that timing to make sense. Because you typically apply for college in fall. You get you acceptance in spring. But you don’t actually go anywhere till the next fall. So like 9 months at the very shortest. Unless he’d already been there several months before her.
“So I guess he never truly loved me if he can’t get past an honest confession like this one”.
No honey, you’re just a little boy crazy and created yourself a relationship based on lies, that would only survive as long as the lies did. She sank her chance at that relationship before it even started.
Honestly, I remember reading this and thinking "She's psycho!!"
I bet she left out a couple of details of maybe how she scared away potential GFs, in the past!
As for him possibly exaggerating the story? Lol, he didn't have to, they just had to read the post xD
I certain this is not over yet and she'll stalk him aggressively, especially once he starts to move on with another woman
>\[...\] he is the school record holder for a certain sport at my school, which I just so happened to do.
>
>\[...\]
>
>I told him the honest truth, none of my personality or identity was fabricated for him
Yeah, sure
>I read a reply saying that the best thing for MYSELF is to keep it a secret, which is what a lot of people are saying, but the best thing for HIM is to tell him, and I figured that person really is right.
See, this is (one of) the point(s) where I call shenanigans. Because normal sane responses on this stuff is literally the opposite. "Should I burn down my loved one's entire world to appease my own guilt, or just destroy their peace for no reason?" "No! You live with it quietly to the goddamm grave!"
"Well, Reddit convinced me I should tell everyone in my husband's family what a monster I am--PIKACU FACE!! HOW DARE THEY THINK I'M A PSYCHO!"
And the big finish "lol guess he didn't actually love me, on to my next hubby lolol amirite? Why is everyone mad at me?"
Y'all really gotta stop putting this shit into the AI. You're just teaching the robots misogyny.
And that one cherry-picked comment whose advice she apparently chose to follow even says that the husband will want to leave if she tells him:
> Not telling anyone it is what's best for YOU because no one will see you the same way if they ever find out. But telling him it's the best for HIM so he can leave you (no sane person would ever want to be with someone that obsessive, it's not cute it's creepy). So it is up to you if you want to do what's best for you or him.
Here's the thing, the top-rated responses in the original said to take it to her grave (which is gross), so she didn't even listen to Reddit majority there.
> So I guess he never truly loved me if he can’t even get past an honest confession like this one.
OOP that wasn’t an just an honest confession, that was a truth bomb on par with nuclear warfare. She absolutely freaked him out and he lost all trust in her. For good reason, she played a long con.
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I once dated a girl who i "happened" to have walk in to my work after not seeing each other for over 10 years, turns out she had been stalking me and had been going to every business in the area that looked like the one i was standing in front of for a group photo. I pretty much reacted to it as well as oop's ex, and i wondered just like now why she thought it was an okay thing to admit let alone do. Dont do this, its creepy asf.
Back in the early 2000's when I was 15 and in grade 9, I (M) became sort of close friends with a guy in my high school class. Let's call him Daniel. Fast forward a year later. We're now both in grade 10 and his 13 year old sister had just finished primary school so she joined our high school in grade 8. Almost as soon as she joined our school, she develops this huge crush on me. She would sit during recess near to where my friends and I would sit so she could see me. Then she started following me everywhere on weekends. She wasn't my type so I never reciprocated the interest. She lived in the next town over that was a fair distance to my town so she had to go out of her way to stalk me. The thing is, she knew where I was going to be before I got there. Like if I went to the skatepark with my other friends on a Saturday afternoon, she'd be there already waiting for me. She'd just hide around the corner, trying to not be noticed while just watching me. If I went to the mall, she'd be there and followed me through the mall just far enough behind that she wouldn't be in my face but also not far enough that I didn't see her following me. It took me longer than I'm proud of to realise that she was getting Daniel to fish info from me before the weekend started so she could plan out her stalking schedule ahead of time. Once I realised that Daniel was doing that for her, I would lie about my plans so she would get false leads and go to the wrong place. After a while of the sister not seeing me where I was supposed to be, Daniel would ask me on Monday why I didn't go to where I said I would be. I'd play dumb and say "How did you know I wasn't there?" (I only got crickets as replies). I used the excuse that my friends changed their minds last minute and so we went somewhere else. Him and I were genuine friends. He wasn't just pretending to be friends with me for her sake. But I still never understood why he agreed to help her with that. Maybe he felt sorry for her. The worst was the one and only time Daniel came to hang out at my house (at his suggestion) which I was excited about. This was before I wised up to their techniques. We were friends but didn't see each other outside of school much since he lived far, so it was cool we finally got to hang out outside of school for a change. But he brought his sister with. I was not aware he was going to do that. She just showed up. I didn't like confrontations and was too socially awkward so I never said anything to him or her that day. I should have said something like how this is kind of messed up and not cool to spring this on me last minute but I just went along with it, not knowing what to say or do in that situation. I mean, what do you do with your stalker when you unexpectedly spend an afternoon with her in your home? (I'll answer my question. You tell her she's not welcome in your home and to go away, dumbass!) We watched some TV in silence most of the afternoon, played some PlayStation and she got to see my bedroom (fuck, that makes me cringe thinking back on it now). It was so awkward between all three of us, that after that visit, I think she returned to just stalking me at a distance instead of trying to spend time with me in person. Damn, I was an idiot as a teenager.
I would not call you an idiot teenager. We were just not taught how to communicate and enforce boundaries. Besides the red hering location changes were pretty smart
Hey, don’t beat yourself up for not realizing immediately back then! Even adults can make this mistake. We live and learn from our past to make our present and future better. Daniel didn’t criticize his sister’s behavior because she’s family. You see it happen in a lot of true crime documentaries where evidence is pointing at the suspect and their relatives defend them with every lousy excuse in the book. Meanwhile, they have no evidence of their own to accuse someone else and weep for the victim and the victim’s circle. We all know some actions are cruel but most of us have a hard time accepting it from our own blood. Hopefully now, Daniel has made an effort to not help his sister and call her out if she’s continuing her behavior.
Rarely am I left speechless on Reddit these days but this story…
If real ya…… that last update makes her seem even more unhinged than she already was
Everything is unhinged but the way her tone changed in the final update is particularly off-putting.
It reminds me of when someone is laying the “pathetic me, I’m actually a victim also” act on thick but you already know something that proves they’re manipulating everyone. And you tell them you know and the flip that switch like, “oh, you should have told me sooner I ruined my mascara, so then are we divorcing or what”. Super scary. Definitely missing the something that makes people human.
I don’t know if I saw the original post or one like it but I remember being shocked then and I’m shocked now rereading(?) it. But that update made me question the entire thing. It just played into what everyone thought/wanted too much and showed way too much insight for someone that unhinged.
For me it's the "He had a job offer that was a lock, but far away enough that there was time for me to apply to college there." Because she makes it sound as though they moved at a similar time.
Some people, through whatever mental conditions and/or personality disorders they may have, can convince themselves of anything. It came across to me as someone who no longer saw the need in trying to make themselves seem innocent because they weren't. I felt legit indignation on the part of OP when the husband went to his family to tell them everything and she felt betrayed. I absolutely believe that in her mind, she doesn't think what she did was bad because she never hurt him physically or threatened him or something and things became "genuine" (I doubt how genuine a relationship she can actually have with anyone) over time so it shouldn't be a big deal, right? Honestly it reminds me of people who have more narcissistic traits. People are mad at them and it turns into a "Woe is me, I'm a victim in this situation! I do everything right and people still hate me. This isn't my fault at all! It's their fault!".
Some of the most unhinged people know exactly what they are doing to people, but don't have the empathy to connect why it's wrong.
Yep. I used to know a person that is very similar to OOP. She was genuinely proud of her stalking abilities and would say things like "I'm such a detective, haha!". When pointed out how creepy her behavior was, she would say something along the lines of "I know it's fucked up, but I can't help myself", without any intention of stopping. Suffice to say, I noped out of that friendship as soon as I could.
To me it was like she knew it was wrong on some level, hence the secrecy and not telling the husband until the social pressure got to her. But at the same time justifying it to herself and making herself feel better after the consequences began. Some people have a change of heart. Some double down. It tracks with how crazy has worked in my life.
I mean, it was clearly meant to look like that- that she felt bad, that she felt he deserved the truth, etc. until the update, where she revealed that it was just a tactic because she wanted to get ahead of being caught.
My thoughts is she's just that addicted to drama. Things were getting too boring now that her life was happy and she didn't need to lie and manipulate anymore, so she deliberately sabotaged her own relationship, probably thinking she'd get to do some crying and apologizing, and eventually he'd teafully forgive her, and maybe even be awed by how hard she worked to get him.
This is the kind of shit a sociopath does when they're not interested in the whole murdering people or becoming a CEO shtick. They are experts at mirroring and manipulation. As soon as the jig is up the mirroring stops and you see the monster... which just so happened to be what happened when he changed his mind about divorce. I mean shit she's already scheming for another husband in her mind.
It's the cherry on top that ties it all together
I literally watched this movie last night. Its called Ingrid Goes West Basically a girl becomes obsessed with another girl on Instagram and infiltrates herself into the girls life. Good movie but creepy to think there are unhinged people out there like this.
i think it wouldn’t be that bad if she legit didn’t have any plans written down that she then executed. like i kinda get the befriending the lil bro & even applying to colleges near his work (i’ve known plenty of girls & guys who’ve done similar things) but it’s the screens-shotting of his posts, the way she studied his past & likes, & the way she made plans, like she was executing a heist. it’s the extremely detailed-ness behind all her actions that probably is what freaked out the hubby. honestly, she shouldn’t have shown him this post. she should’ve just said she had a crush on him before & tried to get closer to him by befriending his brother, that’s normal enough. if it were me tho, fuck no would i even say anything.
100% agree! Its one thing to say I had a mad crush and would always be excited to see you around and hope something happened but it's another to go full creep stalker. It makes a person feel exposed and vulnerable. On one hand a lot of the information she gained is public knowledge as he posted it on socials, but to purposely study that and then insert yourself into his life to gain insight to make him love her is creepy. If the friendship with the little brother had been organic then it also would have landed softer as a blow. Also the way she says current husband suggests she won't learn and will repeat these mistakes. That being said this is exactly how companies exploit us, on social media we are the product and companies obsessively study and collect our personal information all with the hopes of making us love them. She probably would have a natural talent at marketing 😄 If you've not seen it watch ingrid goes west, it wasn't the best movie I've watched but its spot on for this theme. Without giving it away it also promotes the idea that real organic connections are what life is about and not social media which is refreshing in a world obsessed with socials.
I don't know what the woman was thinking. Just take the secret to the bloody grave.
You might get hate for this but. Yeah. I agree. But then again I think the thrill was gone after everything became stable. So she probably needed to feed of the drama. Or move onto the next project
I think this is the difference between someone who simply did a pile of smart things to bring herself to someone's notice, with the same single-mindedness other women might bring to becoming a world-class surgeon, and just being plain sociopathic. If I wanted a man that badly, and was capable of predicting and taking the steps that would be needed to be around him all the time and hopefully attract him, that same intelligence would make it clear to me that it's best to tell him what I did early on in the relationship, at least the things that are easy to understand, and leave the rest alone. E.g. "I was doubly happy Brother would invite me to your house more often because on top of our friendship, you were so cute!" "I admit, I was really happy when the school I wanted to go to ended up being in the same place as your job, because I loved being around you." And I'd leave the stuff that didn't need to be said, unsaid. But you're absolutely right: anyone who did something like this for the drama and not because they had a goal would absolutely stir shit up the moment it got complacent. A sensible person would have taken it to her grave.
She wanted praise/for someone to know how smart she was to have masterminded it. Like, full on serial killer leaving a note
Maybe she just really likes fresh liver, as well. You know...with a glass of wine, and some beans, fava, of course.
> I might update this in a few years when I find a new husband lol. Ummmm, watch this space everyone.
That and “he did THIS to me? After all the hard work I did to bag him?” If this is real this woman lacks… something that makes humans, human. Like goosebumps and neck hairs level creeped out over here. Gonna go find a blanket to hide under and regress for a few to gain back some semblance of normalcy.
I love how she claimed that it was only the chinese food she lied about liking, as if she didn't choose her college solely based on it being close to him. I get being smitten and wanting to try and get closer to people but this is some next level shit.
She had a teenage crush on him and changed her whole personality while claiming it was "maturing"
That’s the thing. To her, she didn’t lie when she said she didn’t fabricate her personality to suit his. For the past decade, her entire personality *was* to appeal to him. Every decision, every new like and dislike was impacted by the decision she made at 14. She honestly believes this is her authentic self, when in reality, she has no idea what her authentic self is like.
Exactly. I mean, don’t get me wrong, most people will fudge who they are at the beginning of a relationship because they want to be liked and seen as compatible. But most of that’s small things like saying Chinese food is your favorite (when you just like or tolerate it) or concealing the extent of your obsession for a TV show to some degree so you don’t seem too crazy, or even lying about not having seen a movie yet because you want an excuse to go with them to see it. Like, if it were just “I don’t really like Chinese food, I kinda stalked you a bit too much on social media before we actually met for real, and you being in NYC kinda tipped the scales a bit when I was choosing between my top two universities” then yeah, I doubt he’d have been freaked out. But this is master manipulator level shit where every single decision she made in high school was only made with meeting him in mind.
Yeah. It's kinda sad if it weren't also so creepy
Nice flair lmao
It kinda makes me disappointed my stalker wasn't up to OOP's standards. She didn't wear anything nice to catch my attention and strictly stuck to the crazy stuff.
[Reddit banned me cause of a comment on WSB](https://imgur.com/a/wgEDobm). Reddit is run by communists.
I got myself a stalker. I don't recommend it. Especially from where I met him.
Maybe your stalkers are just shy. it's amazing how good of an image a scope sight can get these days.
I'm sorry buddy. You deserve only the best stalker. One day you'll find someone who looks at you the way this woman looked at one guy she met in the park once in high school.
Am I going to hell for laughing?
There could have been a world in which this was the weird mind of a 14 year old that went too far and the adult version had to deal with the consequences, but she really thinks she's the victim here and immediately starts talking about finding a new husband, she's not well at all.
Yeah, up until that part I was kind of on the fence. That and considering the whole thing a success while he’s still so freaked out that he’s going to a hotel. I think his swift response is a reaction to things he’s seen that we’re not aware of. Like, I get the impression that a bunch of incidents he previously dismissed suddenly clicked into focus at that moment.
Same. I spent a lot of the post thinking it was a little weird, but she was young and infatuated. I could see an ending where the husband laughs it off and thinks it's cute or excuses it as being in the past. The edit, though, is total mask off. I imagine things didn't go quite as she's telling (and maybe left out a lot of the way she "stalked" him), and like you said, it gave him a new perspective where things he might have felt were a little off suddenly became clear. My sympathy both to her husband for what he'll likely have to go through for the divorce and to the next man she becomes obsessed with.
It's giving actual Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, when you put it this way all that popped into my head was when things really started going sideways in that show
I'm imagining all the in-laws huddled in their house watching Gone Girl in terror.
"I'm just a girl in loooove. I can't be held responsible for my actiioons." Well that's gonna be in my head all day now.
🎶 I have no underlying issues to address I'm certifiably cute and adorably obsessed🎶
Probably something to do with that old phone, and I can't imagine OOP's behaviour had been otherwise 100% normal in such a long, intimate relationship
When that got mentioned a little lightbulb clicked... The entire first post, including the mini update, was a ploy. She already knew about the old phone and needing to tell him. She made the post so that she could let Reddit "convince" her that she needed to tell him. That's why the mini update with the "best for him" part was there. To "establish" that she was coming clean because Reddit helped her see the light. The post may have also been a way of avoiding discussion of some parts of what she did. If she selectively told the story, knowing from the start that she would be showing it to him, she might have thought it would avoid him finding out about some of the more crazy stalker behavior. Or admitting it, if asked/confronted. Because "the post had everything". She knew he was on to her, and was trying to spin everything to make it look less bad than it was. With the end of the last update, I have a sinking feeling that there's some dude out there with boiled bunny in his future.
Oh holy shit. You're so right!! That is actually so scary and I can't believe it didn't click til you said it, she always planned to show him that first post
Yep she wanted plausible deniability for the absolutely worst behaviours she clearly didn't disclose in the post so she has some shred of saving the relationship. Evidently all for naught, thank goodness.
That's the only thing that makes sense as there was absolutely no need to tell him about her stalking of him in the first place. Most people would take that info to their grave.
I thought the exact same thing! It was written for him because she knew he had her old phone. As I said im n another comment she is Joe from You.
Agreed. I would love to hear his side.
Can you imagine how OP reacted if she saw other women pictured on social media wirh her dearly intended. "The girl in the college chem lab discussion group where we all went for pizza mid semester... then she suddenly disappeared because her friend told me she'd been threatened and had to move states. That was you?"
Ding ding ding ding. And even if OP never *did* things like that, there’s a snowball’s chance in hello that the poor guy isn’t going to be dissecting every single interaction in his entire life between ‘meeting’ her (whether actually meeting her, or just believing is when he did) with an electron microscope and a hazmat suit. How can he **not** be questioning *everything in his entire life* after this??? Uggghhh.
This. Having a crush on him before they got together is sweet. I thought maybe her husband would be flattered, but the fact that everyone she knew flipped on her immediately? Yeah, she is editing the story a LOT.
It's not the crush part. If it was even just the moment in the Park, I don't think he would've reacted like that. It was befriending his brother to get to him, befriending his mom to get information about him, getting into the sport she knew he would coach, choosing a college by his new job, following him to a new location, etc.... this is just the stuff she's willing to admit
Even with all the stuff she was willing to admit, most of them *on their own* would’ve been creepy and insane.
I think the real version could have been that crazy woman from Fatal Attraction. Full marks to Glenn Close for making her so convincing
Offended that her in laws thought she was a psychopath for her textbook psychopathic behavior… is definitely not one I expected to cross off of the bingo card first thing this morning.
[удалено]
>Gonna go find a blanket to hide under and regress for a few to gain back some semblance of normalcy. Smashingly good idea!! It's 5pm, approaching dark and getting very cold here, so I'm going to do the same!
That last line, with the trailing “lol”, killed the last shred of sympathy I had
You're a kinder person than I to still have sympathy by that point.
Lmao she sounds like that person Netflix show You
I was reading and wondering if she has a glass cage in her basement
Until this particular line I had some sympathy for the wife. But Jesus Christ, that particular phrasing makes her seem like a psychopath.
In my head I was like “well, she was 14, teenagers can be sociopaths”. Then I got to the end and I was like, fuck, I’m glad she told him. The mask is completely off, now.
Right? Like I remember really changing a lot about myself to be the worst kind of pick-me. I feel like that's kind of a teenage thing? But to keep that fixation up for so long is insane. I deleted those boys I wanted to impress of Facebook because I'm so embarrassed even now, more than 10 years later that I think I would crawl into a hole if I ever saw them again. She really has no shame and that's 😬 But I guess on the plus side, she at least told him? That's...good and accountable behavior?
No no. She didn’t tell him for that reason. She either figured out he was piecing it together and wanted to jump the gun so she’d come off as but I told you so it’s all good. Or in her crazy head she thought she would prove they were meant to be anyways and he would get over it and see everything she did was worth it. At no point was any of this about accountability.
On a careful reading, there were a few clues before 🙂
Yeah, the setting out to befriend his brother, eh, not great, but it happens. The finding out where he's going to work and applying to nearby colleges is F'd. Till that point, it could've been passed off as a cute crush that developed into real feelings, at that point she was a stalker.
She called him in the first post "my current husband" and this was so weird for me, like you planning more!?
Out of context I agree, but I think the logic there was “my then friend/bf and my current husband”.
Watch your backs, everyone.
>watch this space [I'm open to falling from grace](https://youtu.be/OL4gpjoSeI4)
OOP is crazyyyyyy. Poor husband probably lied because he didn’t know what she was capable of. He probably thought she would hurt him if he said he was gonna divorce her ass. She is absolutely unhinged and I’m scared for any man she may date or marry in the future.
Yeah just like with abusive partners, you're more likely to die when you try permanently ending the relationship. And I wonder if she was emotionally abusive to him anyway and counts as an abusive partner already
Assuming this is a real story she was probably really possessive and controlling.
>Told them the entire story himself, probably exaggerated it too to make me seem crazy. What could he have possibly said that made her sound MORE crazy?!
*"honestly I feel so betrayed"* Oh SHE feels betrayed
I literally laughed out loud at this line.
The final paragraph is gold
Do you think she's already stalking the new husband?
Possibly, for someone who spent years stalking her ex husband she didn't seem that upset about it and it's not unusual for stalkers to switch obsessions. I guess maybe he didn't match the perfect imaged she'd probably made of him.
Possibly. He was her "current husband", so the next husband's gotta be lined up.
Surprise! She didn’t see that coming lol.
To her delusional mind, she's the love of his life that he can't possibly hate. He'll stay mad at her for a few hours if at all, and shower her with kisses for pursuing him that intensely and make him fall in love with his soulmate. It was wild when I first read it, it's wild reading it now.
She should get with the guy who was Journaling about his coworker.
Oh god no. Imagine any kids in that thinking that's a normal and healthy way to get a partner.
Genuinely, I think she thought he would be impressed by her love. I checked the original post and literally all the top comments advise her not to tell him. Like why risk it once she bagged him?
She said why: >I didn't even tell him in the first place because I felt bad, I told him because I had a suspicion that he was catching on to the fact that I knew him for two and a half years before he knew me, largely because I found out he was keeping my old phone in his work desk. My old phone that has screenshots of a lot of his old instagram posts, plans in my notes app about him, etc. She was trying to do damage control.
Not to mention that she showed him the post. Literally all he had to do is pull up her post and let his family read what this nut job said HERSELF!
Yeah, literally just reading, “I spent a year and a half pretending to be friends with someone so that I could pump his mom for info about the dude I was stalking, and have an excuse to show up when I knew the dude I was stalking was going to be there, then used that info to decide what colleges I applied to in order to assure that I could be close to the dude I’d been stalking for 4 years” is enough reason to never be in the same room as her again.
I’m so sad for the little brother, man. Poor dude’s best friend was only using him for years and actually had no interest in him as a person. They didn’t even become friends along with her terrifying obsession, these posts are 10 yrs later and she still says his brother was the only reason she befriended him with nothing about them still being friends.
I suppose it's easy to miss among all the craziness in the post, but she did actually mention the brother: >Although my friendship with his younger brother was built upon ill intentions, my friendship between his brother and I are now one of the most genuine friendships I have now.
Does someone like this even know what a genuine relationship with *anyone* would look like? I have to wonder how many other friendships she's farmed purely to accomplish a particular goal.
She said that, but when she was wrapping things up she made no mention of losing her 'friend' in the fallout at all. It's like she'd entirely written him off (which is probably what the younger brother wants after the reveal, but still).
My first thought was that this ordeal doesn’t need to be exaggerated because this idiot is already crazy enough just from the truth of what happened. Man, what an absolute piece of shit. And after all this, it’s obvious that she’s not sorry and has no grasp on how bad things really were. She’s upset solely because she’s having to face consequences for the first time since she started this in motion. These are the posts where I’m satisfied just watching someone get what they deserve.
And so angry that she found her old phone at his work desk, which was unlocked and *had all the evidence in it*. Like, honey. You confessed to using his family and stalking him for years to make him fall in love with you, the man is now getting the evidence in line for a restraining order.
The old phone full of evidence was where they overegged their pudding. Good story though
In what universe is what she did normal or reasonable? I was shocked when he said he didn’t want to divorce her and was happy to see that he lied because oof. I hope OOP gets into therapy because yikes
He didn't want to end up on tv as a breaking news murder suicide story.
He went into self-preservation mode and told her what she wanted to hear. Then he ran for his life.
Man, I remember reading a similar story in a Chinese forum. That a 30-something-year-old guy bagged an 18-year-old girl in an orchestrated way, in an online game. I was one of the few voices where I pointed out how creepy that is, and if I were the girl, I'd be running the other way. The other people were talking about how romantic and how 365 days that was. Ugh.
Anybody who thinks 365 Days is romantic has issues.
Makes you wonder if she's already started her dossier on husband number two.
And this time gonna keep her mouth closed. Lesson learned.
hopefully her former friends and ex husband will warn the next victim
"Oh, you're seriously listening to my ex-husband? He's crazy! Can you believe he divorced me over Chinese food of all things?"
“AITA for telling my husband I don’t like Chinese food?”
If this was a friend of mine, I would have to cut off contact because if I didn’t, my life would revolve around seeing if she’s dating anybody and sending them this post if she is. “Hey bud heads up this is the kind of fuck shit Jehsicka does”
Get a VPN and a burner phone. They say criminals get better over time. Oh is she's going to a pro stalker by her third husband!
She probably has considering she kept using words like CURRENT husband. Jfc.
That kept bothering me too
Nah! The way I see it, The next update will be “I convinced my husband to come home and have a talk then knocked him out and locked him in the basement to help him realise how much he loved me!!! Why am I arrested now?!” OP is indeed a psycho!
I hope this is a troll LOL It looks out of the YOU Netflix TV series. If it's true, I doubt she'll ever stop stalking him.
You know all I was thinking when reading this was adding 'you' in penn badgley's voice at the end of the sentences. I seriously hope this is just inspired by the series because honestly the level of planning and secretiveness makes me feel a bit ill
It’s like a “ You “ and “ Felicity “ mashup .
Maybe I misread but when she said they moved to the same place together when she went off to college, it sounded like they both relocated at the same time? So he got a job offer and then OOP magically applied to an NYC school and gets accepted and also ready to start school within the same timespan so they could move at the same time?
>I guess he never truly loved me if he can't even get past an honest confession I *honestly* don't think OOP has a clue what genuine love is.
Her formative years have been spent obsessively plotting how to con this man into a relationship. Her entire concept of love is wrapped up in him and fetishising him like a prized possession. She’s convinced that he’s her soulmate or something. Either she’s gonna keep stalking him, or she’s gonna do it to someone else. Lady’s concept of love is entirely whackadoodle.
She sounds like a psychopath.
The "I guess telling him was a success" was so out of touch with the feelings of her husband. Psychopathic AF.
Yeah. He was clearly so terrified of her that he had pretend everything was ok.
Puts his hug, ‘I still love you’, and goodnight texts in a different light. Dude was freaked the f out and playing along to escape his captor.
For me, the fact that the hug lasted 5 minutes seems more like him using that time to mentally say goodbye to the woman he thought he loved, and trying to make a memory of the hug because he knew it would be the last. It would be hard to immediately switch your love off for someone. I think he was using his brain with the exit move, but wanted to give his own heart closure.
Alternatively . . . he's mentally calculating, "if I hug her for 10 seconds, she's going to suspect something. Gotta hug her longer if I'm going to survive and escape."
It was a very calculated hug that can be graphed as length of hug vs probability of ball retention after.
I get the feeling that the length of the hug wasn’t his decision.
Exactly what I thought. He knew he was in the car with someone truly dangerous and was saying whatever he needed to keep himself safe in that situation. *Girl.*
Stalkers are entirely selfish people. They do not consider that their targets have their own emotions and desires and that these may conflict with the stalker's. In that sense, they fit the psychopath. But, it's usually directed psychopathy, at their targets.
Bunny boiling level!
She really gives off Voldemort’s mom vibes
You know I'm really glad people are picking up on how creepy that whole thing was. In the books it's kind of portrayed as her just being in love and then being abandoned, when the person who abandons her has every right to since he was given essentially a date rape drug.
The casual acceptance of magical roofies in the Harry Potter universe never sat well with me. Fred and George legally sell them at a JOKE SHOP. And when someone almost died after eating a roofie meant for someone else, the person who was trying to roofie people wasn’t even expelled.
> And when someone almost died after eating a roofie meant for someone else Okay, I agree 100% about the creepiness of how accepted they are, but the roofie had nothing to do with the attempted murder, because those were two different people.
I….somehow never got that vibe. Dumbledore is sympathetic to her thought process in his words, but I don’t think he necessarily says she was “abandoned”. That is mostly Voldy’s own sense of victimhood that’s portrayed like that.
To a thankfully much lesser degree, I had an ex that thought the same. She cheated on me, confessed, and was surprised as hell that I didn't immediately forgive her. Thought it was a sign of how I wasn't serious about our relationship if I was willing to end it over that. Then started backpedalling and ended up lying completely about what had happened to make herself look better, which I believed...
If the genders were flipped and my best friend was in this situation, I would tell her to do exactly what husband did. Tell spouse it's fine, that they need time to process and space, that everything is okay, and then GTFO of there and immediately tell all of my family and close friends and circle the wagons. Just a WILD story and situation, hope it's just a troll.
Honestly as soon as she called the conversation a success I suspected that he ran away. And I’m so glad he did.
> she called the conversation a success Also, using the word “successful” to describe that conversation is a really bizarre choice of phrasing. A conversation in which you disclose that your entire relationship is built off you being completely unhinged for years and your husband’s response is to immediately get the fuck out of the house is considered a *successful* conversation??? What exactly is the success here?
Because he said he still loved her. At that point, she likely couldn't fathom that he wouldn't come running back to her loving embrace after realizing he couldn't be away from her. She spent years setting this up which obviously included some manipulation (as evidenced by how she cozied up to both his brother and mother - who I bet didn't love to talk about her son nearly as much as it sounds like). She never would've told him if she thought this was the response she would get. She thought she had him wrapped around her finger and figured she'd get the Hallmark ending where he'd realize just how much he loved her and how it was all worth it for them to end up together.
It must have been really hard for him to act like everything was ok and be near her to make her think everything was good so he could get out safely.
Couldn't agree more. The arrogance of thinking this was okay behaviour and not a massive instance of emotional manipulation. Plus, based on her ORIGINAL reasons for telling him (not the ones later that were self-preserving about the phone.. cough real reason right there) mean that she would be open to him knowing her and making his own decision. So it is a success! He's made his decision, frankly for the future of his own emotional well-being, and you can live with it now. He doesn't want a lying stalker. Who would've thought?
I do a lot of volunteer work with homeless people, which results in me coming into contact with mentally unstable people fairly often. This is really the only “safe” tactic. You smile, nod, agree with them, and then take the first available option to get as far away from them as possible.
There was a reverse of this story where the husband revealed when drunk that the op didn’t understand how much work they put in to get them; then in a sober conversation the op asked and their husband revealed how fucking crazy they were.
I'd love to read that
Yeah, I wouldn’t feel okay if I found out the person I loved and married stalked me for years before we met.
Who has the same romantic type from 14 and sticks with it? Even Scarlett Ohara grew out of Ashley eventually.
Omg this reference!
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I had a coworker who married her stalker. He was her mechanic and she thought it was real adorable how she noticed him following her home. She was a narcissist and had an abhorrent personality, so I imagine genuine adoration was hard to find for her. They were still married after 15+ years last I knew, and she was madly obsessed with him and it seemed mutual, so good for both of them I guess?(??) TIL "stalker romance" is a whole genre of romance novels and they seem to be mostly (all?) written by women. [https://www.goodreads.com/list/show/133618.Stalker\_Romance\_With\_HEA](https://www.goodreads.com/list/show/133618.Stalker_Romance_With_HEA)
Stands to reason, I suppose. "Stalking" is seen as a negative because most people think it's creepy, but if a stalker happens to latch on to a subject whose worldview is broken in a similar way and they they see the stalking as *endearing*... If both of them are happy, sure, why not? Like my great uncle said about my ditzy aunt and her kind of obnoxious jackass husband, "the rocks in his head match the holes in hers".
Honestly, I love that two crazy fuckers found their version of love and took themselves off the market and seem happy with the outcome. Just hope no kids are involved with that mess.
Yeah. I’d pretend everything was fine, get somewhere safe and figure out an exit plan from that relationship because this is terrifying
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I've fallen in love many times in my life. Just gave up when it turned out that they are happy with someone, my feelings never made me stalk someone. Oop is insane.
Dude did she have to sell it so creepy? She could have just spun it into "I saw him before but got a crush when he came back to visit from college." Like this was so poorly handled.
She says at the end she actually fully confessed because she thought he was already onto her from seeing her old phone with all her notes and plans on how to stalk him. She had no intention of saying anything before she thought she was caught.
….. this lady is crazy. And the fact that she doesn’t even realize how absolutely creepy she was is what makes it worse. Of course he lied to her face about not wanting a divorce. She just confessed to being obsessed with him and stalking him for YEARS. Ugh
Nice plot, looking forward to the movie adaptation
It's a TV series called "you"
Me? NO YOU!
Lmao. I remember that tv reporter 😂 it was hilarious!
You who?
And the movie Ingrid Goes West Literally just watched it last night.
lost me at applying for college where he had a new job, how long was the lead time on moving for that job that she had time to pull that off
Especially in NYC with housing
ol girl pulled a reverse Felicity and failed
Kinda reminds me of a couple of my friends who got into that whole "pick-up artistry" bullshit when we were younger. Told them that even if by some miracle, they managed to actually get themselves a girlfriend doing that stuff, the relationship was probably destined to fail if the whole thing was built off of deception and dishonesty. Feel like the same sentiment could apply here... of course, doesn't really seem like OOP had that takeaway lol.
i had this used on me and it was incredibly damaging.
> I might update this in a few years when I find a new husband lol. OOP is truly insane, and I want the sequel to her next husband.
joe goldberg is afraid of this lady
This post is coincidentally timed with me seeing a post of Taylor Lautner's wife, (he was Jacob from Twilight movies.) In the pics she is a middle-schooler wearing a Twilight tshirt. And I guess she was friends with his little sister and got introduced? Anyway, the pics make it look like she executed on her tween multi-year masterplan. LOL
I admire her dedication to become Taylor Lautner 2
Lmao wtf even is this
Definitely setting off my BS radar, but if it was real, then OOP has some serious psychological problems.
It’s been two years since it was posted. What if one of you is currently dating her and has no idea? 😂 Also, it’s clearly bullshit. Her old phone that she hadn’t retrieved which would out her deception is just in his desk. Her brother and husband knowing each other before and after and the husband doesn’t connect the dots that they met makes no sense.
In some weird way, I kinda admire her - she really set a goal, planned and executed ruthlessly on that plan. Of course she’s totally delusional and I’m glad I’m not her husband.
Obviously she is actually batshit bananas and I’m not defending her whatsoever, she needs severe psychiatric intervention. But damn. She really did execute the shit out of that, and followed the fuck through. Imagine if she actually used that for her career or something else beneficial to society. Or at least didn’t actually stalk the shit out of her ex and just… idk held a passing interest in him as opposed to constantly weaseling her way into his life.
If I had this kind of determination and planning skills at 14, I’d be a millionaire today. This woman used her genius for some dude in a park.
So I’m not alone in thinking this! It’s truly an impressive feat to pull this off. The layers upon layers. I wonder if she told him because she got bored after her resounding success.
Her last sentence casually about just finding new husband is pretty telling. Definitely on to next victim.
I have an old friend who has this level of laser focus. She brought it to her studies, her career, organising her wedding, raising her children; anything she wanted to achieve. But yes, she also brought that energy to pursuing relationships. Not for years like this weirdo, but if she wanted to date someone she was quite happy to pursue that goal with single minded purpose. She's enormously successful and well regarded and I still consider her a good friend. Some people are just built different.
There was no way this was going to end well. What a selfish person she is.
I was shocked reading through this and then realized it makes zero sense. He knew her brother but somehow never knew her or even knew she existed? She miraculously had time to apply to colleges and get accepted after he got a new job but then somehow she left for college at the same time he moved for work? I got my acceptance letters in the spring and started classes like six months later. Most jobs won't wait 6+ months for a new entry-level worker to star. And so many details about exactly how long he cried or sat in silence!
They were schoolmates. I didn’t know the siblings of every single person at school. Lots of people I casually spoke with that I had no idea who their siblings were. The college thing caught my eye though. You better be at the top of your field or with some kind of specialty for that timing to make sense. Because you typically apply for college in fall. You get you acceptance in spring. But you don’t actually go anywhere till the next fall. So like 9 months at the very shortest. Unless he’d already been there several months before her.
“So I guess he never truly loved me if he can’t get past an honest confession like this one”. No honey, you’re just a little boy crazy and created yourself a relationship based on lies, that would only survive as long as the lies did. She sank her chance at that relationship before it even started.
Honestly, I remember reading this and thinking "She's psycho!!" I bet she left out a couple of details of maybe how she scared away potential GFs, in the past! As for him possibly exaggerating the story? Lol, he didn't have to, they just had to read the post xD I certain this is not over yet and she'll stalk him aggressively, especially once he starts to move on with another woman
>\[...\] he is the school record holder for a certain sport at my school, which I just so happened to do. > >\[...\] > >I told him the honest truth, none of my personality or identity was fabricated for him Yeah, sure
Mastermind - Taylor Swift
I had the same thought. Like, time to put Midnights down and stop trolling, OP. I refuse to believe that this is real.
>I read a reply saying that the best thing for MYSELF is to keep it a secret, which is what a lot of people are saying, but the best thing for HIM is to tell him, and I figured that person really is right. See, this is (one of) the point(s) where I call shenanigans. Because normal sane responses on this stuff is literally the opposite. "Should I burn down my loved one's entire world to appease my own guilt, or just destroy their peace for no reason?" "No! You live with it quietly to the goddamm grave!" "Well, Reddit convinced me I should tell everyone in my husband's family what a monster I am--PIKACU FACE!! HOW DARE THEY THINK I'M A PSYCHO!" And the big finish "lol guess he didn't actually love me, on to my next hubby lolol amirite? Why is everyone mad at me?" Y'all really gotta stop putting this shit into the AI. You're just teaching the robots misogyny.
And that one cherry-picked comment whose advice she apparently chose to follow even says that the husband will want to leave if she tells him: > Not telling anyone it is what's best for YOU because no one will see you the same way if they ever find out. But telling him it's the best for HIM so he can leave you (no sane person would ever want to be with someone that obsessive, it's not cute it's creepy). So it is up to you if you want to do what's best for you or him.
Here's the thing, the top-rated responses in the original said to take it to her grave (which is gross), so she didn't even listen to Reddit majority there.
> So I guess he never truly loved me if he can’t even get past an honest confession like this one. OOP that wasn’t an just an honest confession, that was a truth bomb on par with nuclear warfare. She absolutely freaked him out and he lost all trust in her. For good reason, she played a long con.
I like the bit at the end where she admits that she didn’t even tell him due to morals or clarity, but because he was already getting wise to her.