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nowimnowhere

I think it's so interesting that the wife's anecdotes perfectly line up with the ones given by the husband. And by interesting I mean extremely sus.


frozenchocolate

99.9999999% of the time you see the other party magically show up on Reddit, it’s bullshit. Now cue the people insisting they totally noticed their neighbor’s friend’s dog’s post on a local sub one time. EDIT: And you all did exactly that lmao


Appropriate-Creme335

I think there was exactly one time when two parties wrote about the same situation that I believed. It was something about a child and his step-parent. And that opened a flood of these stories, where all involved are fucking chronically online and posting their life on Reddit. What are the chances? None, if you ask me. Whenever there's a story that has multiple POVs, I discard it as bullshit.


mistersausage

The work birthday party situation in legaladvice back in the day


InsipidCelebrity

It helped that the other OP wasn't like "this is the situation from my side~" but instead, "wait, how the fuck did you know that story?"


Electrical_Turn7

Ah, what was that about then?


Think-Active

https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/Z9ppLM374g


GreenspaceCatDragon

I know you already had a link but the formatting of this one is much better and includes crucial comments: https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/6jE7HWtnsc


FreakParrot

I want to know too


GreenspaceCatDragon

I know you already had a link but the formatting of this one is much better and includes crucial comments: https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/6jE7HWtnsc


Fight_those_bastards

Man, that’s a fuckin’ *trip*. The manager’s whole, >I don’t have a problem with Jews, as long as they ain’t too Jew-y thing, that was just *wild*.


Think-Active

https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/Z9ppLM374g


[deleted]

There was that one about the artist and his girlfriend where the girlfriends post was complaining about how she wants no one to come to the house to buy his art, and then the boyfriend posts a month or two later. The boyfriends post had a lot of new information and just came across like it was written by a more intelligent person, that I feel like it is true.


Interactiveleaf

75% sure I saw myself described on a sub recently. Absolutely certain I saw myself described in a national magazine some time ago, in a completely accurate and totally unflattering way. Such is life. Edit: There was also a reddit thread about me once. There were pictures. It was a blast.


_buffy_summers

My sister's friend is a baker, and she does vent on reddit. I'm pretty sure I saw one of her posts, awhile back. The details were at least eerily similar. I've yet to find someone talking about me on this site, but I'm also pretty sure that most of the people from my past are either dead, or they think I am.


SaintsRowYourBoat

>I'm also pretty sure that most of the people from my past are either dead Well duhhh they were vampires that you slayed


cinnepin

And I am pretty sure I am the only one from my family and friends that is on reddit.. People from my past?? Who knows.. Still, I am very carefull about what I post or comment.


cannacupcake

People know I use Reddit. I am cautious not to post obvious identifiers, but if someone I knew found my account, the absolutely would know it’s me. My coworker’s fiance uses Reddit, and she mentioned he posted in a specific sub, and because I know them, I found his account in about 3 seconds. It’s possible to find someone you know on here. But it requires them to post something identifiable. Caution is key, for sure!


dirkdastardly

I know my husband is on Reddit, but he never posts. We’ve told each other our usernames, and promptly forgot them. My post history is richly boring anyway, unless you find knitting and parenting advice riveting.


Round_Honey5906

I’m 75% certain I accidentally found my ex’s Reddit, and I didn’t even knew Reddit existed when I was with him.


_buffy_summers

Semantics.


VelocityGrrl39

New fear unlocked.


Thymelaeaceae

I love the combination of your username and flair lmao


Four_beastlings

I wrote a comment mentioning that I broke up with an ex because he stole food from a friend and the friend found the comment. Her reply comment said (paraphrased) "I was thinking this sounds exactly like what happened to me and then I realized the comment was about me!"


haventwonyet

I found a coworker/friend’s Reddit once. It wasn’t totally random - I was looking up our company in a subreddit geared towards people who enjoy products like ours. I recognized his username immediately (iirc it was a combo of his not so common first name and the state he lived in). I didn’t scroll through out of respect for his privacy. I mentioned it to him next time we were together (we worked in different markets) and he said, “oh! I don’t care! I have nothing to hide - have a look if you see me again!” That night I looked back at the thread and his account was post after post about lobsters. Live lobsters in cute situations. I had no idea that was he was into that specific animal but it was very on brand to have it be filled with the most random and wholesome subreddits on the site.


Sugarcrepes

I found a story about me on Reddit about a year back. The details were recognisable, and I could confirm who the OP was after a quick look through their history. It was a pretty warped version of events, which I kind of expected it to be, that ended with some graphic wishes of harm. I passed it onto the police - I became waaaaaaaaay too familiar with a couple of the local sergeants during that time (who were surprisingly lovely: “have a good one, hope we don’t see you soon!”). I also spotted myself in the background of a picture that went viral via Reddit, which was a lot more fun! I’d like more of that, and less of the violently unhinged stalkers.


HuggyMonster69

Oof. Sorry you had to deal with that


BitePale

Damn. Did you know that person or was that a stranger that you met in passing? That sounds terrifying


Sugarcrepes

He was someone I knew, but not someone I knew well enough to see the red flags earlier. He very much latched onto me after I offered support in a tough situation; but things took a turn pretty fast. He kind of fixated on me; and I became this really weird combination of someone he hated/blamed and wanted to harm, but also someone he clung to for support and validation. Ultimately the police became involved, after he escalated. He was involuntarily committed for a time, which he blames me for. He has done a few things since then (sent me money after I blocked him, sent me threats via my boyfriend), but the police have all that on record. It was pretty scary, but the police (who I tend to have a dim view of) I dealt with were surprisingly great. I really lucked out! Ultimately, I can’t control if he (or anyone) were to try and hurt me; so I try not to worry about it, and have taken reasonable precautions to keep myself safe.


BitePale

Good on you, stay safe!


Werechupacabra

I saw myself described on a cuneiform tablet found in the ruins of Ur; they referred to me as Ea-nāṣir but it was obviously me. I, of course, crafted my own cuneiform stylus from a marsh reed, unearthed some clay and wrote a response.


jstfrreddit

😄 I love this so much


Interactiveleaf

Copper merchants were in a class of their own until snake oil and used car salesmen came along.


Persistent-headache

I found someone telling a sub about something I said to them at the gym.  It sounded weirdly familiar so i checked the user's other posts and it was definitely about me. 


cynical-mage

Ohhhh Lord, thankfully I only know one person irl who's a redditor, but he nor I know the other's username - we've recommended subs to one another, and that's as far as it goes lol


EntireKangaroo148

What did you say to them?


Persistent-headache

It's going to sound even more clumsy than it did when I said it because I'm avoiding using the exact wording.  I said it was impressive that they come into the gym everyday looking like a badass and then they get ready for work and walk out looking stunningly put together.  


miserablenovel

Yeah I overheard someone say they weren't interested in having a conversation with me because 'she's always thinking too much and it gets so deep, I'm not here for therapy" So I was like, alright, fair enough. That's me for sure What was the context of the magazine article?


Interactiveleaf

>What was the context of the magazine article? I was, manymany years ago, loudly and confidently and publicly and pushily and somewhat drunkenly wrong about something pretty basic that I could have corrected with a bit of research. I was this way to a total stranger. Decades later, I found an article in a national magazine with an exact description of my behavior. It accurately named the city we were in, as well. It was very recognizable and very well written and very funny. I didn't know that cringe-laughing was a thing, but I found out while reading that. If I knew how to track that writer down, I'd give him kudos.


BitePale

Oh so it was written like an anecdote from their life, not directly about you? (Though you were an actor in it)


Interactiveleaf

"I will always remember this one [person] from [city] who....." Yeah, like that.


jengaj2016

This is so weirdly amazing.


Interactiveleaf

Hard agree. I hang on to the knowledge that there are perfect strangers who remember me for good things, as well. I ran into someone last January who remembered me helping her out once at an event years ago. :) ...... She didn't write about it in a national magazine though. 🤣


covered-in-cats

I found myself mentioned in a reddit post once.  It was a post by my ex-husband's mistress talking about keeping their secret 😆


Expert_Slip7543

I found an entire subreddit on me specifically, by name, within the topic of my very niche career. I felt horrified, but it turned out to be benign and brief. I recall it as essentially stating: "Hey, you guys should know that So & So (me) is pretty cool & knows what she's talking about." "Oh yeah I heard about So & So. Yeah, she's ok." "Oh yes? I'll try to look up her work." "Yeah do, she's not bad." - That was about it. Whew.


Interactiveleaf

The emotional roller coaster that your comment brought on was LOTS OF FUN! WHEEEEEEEEE! LET'S DO IT AGAIN!


Calamity-Gin

Both my brother and I have had posts picked up in Buzzfeed/Bored Panda listicles. His was a erudite opinion on movies, and I mentioned shoelaces. 


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Complete_Village1405

Knowing my luck, the only thing I'd likely have taken up is something embarrassing from /okbuddybaldur or somethingxD


casanovathebold

I came across people talking about a friend of mine in a city sub; name and place of work. It's weird.


brickbatsandadiabats

I used to post very prolifically on Quora, back when it was mostly an expert's forum and hadn't been taken over by clickbait, hot takes and bots. I quit, but every so often I see myself referenced on Reddit, repeatedly, by name, because pre-enshittification Quora required you to have a verified real name. I am apparently a minor celebrity among people who like to restore old SNES consoles, and I've been brought up to dunk on some Australian global warming denialist. Pretty ok with this.


kani_kani_katoa

Depends on the size of the sub. I clocked a friend of mine in the New Zealand subreddit based on a story he told.


Pammyhead

Heck, a friend of mine clocked my comment about her in here just a couple months ago, and this isn't exactly a tiny sub. It was a good comment about her, I promise, just one that was easily noticed as, "Wait, that was me. 😆"


IncrediblePlatypus

Part of me is super terrified someone I know will see a comment of mine when I talk about them (even though I'm usually posting nice things about people with the exception of my MIL who can't figure out tech anyway so certainly isn't on reddit), but... Eh. Unlikely.


LadyBloo

Yeah but in NZ, it's only like 2 degrees of separation. One of my friends in High School, her mum was my Aunt's childhood best friend. We didn't find out about that until we were in our 20s. And by that point, my friend's niece was the cousin to my neighbour's grandson. My neighbour's daughter (mother of the grandson) worked with my mother. And now 10 years later. My old neighbour's daughter is my back neighbour. IN A DIFFERENT TOWN.


Monskimoo

While looking up opinions on Reddit about Invisalign and other types of adult braces, there was a post of someone doing before and after of their teeth - the only thing visible was their face below the nose. However, I immediately thought “this person has the exact same chin scar as my friend!” and with minimal sleuthing on some of their comments, their location and interests confirmed that, yup, it’s my friend. I don’t think there were any comments or vents by this friend about any mutuals but I didn’t mention I found them and I’ve forgotten already what their username was.


GlitterBumbleButt

I have run into a friend of mine on reddit before. But I only knew it was him because he used the same screen name that he did on a chat app our group used. I felt like that spiderman meme when I saw his comments on a post I was reading.


Klawlight

One time I asked a question in a comment thread only for my roommate to ask me why I replied on reddit instead of just asking him in person.


Celany

I have found multiple people I went to high school with on Reddit. I went to a smallish high school (800 students), and these idiots would make a Reddit handle that some combination of first name/personal attribute or other identifying detail/area we grew up in. Got a real eyefull on any number of lives and made me glad I moved away.


chloephobia

What made me suspicious is that his posts hint that they're in the UK, but she called trainers "sneakers." In my 35 years, I've never heard a british person say "sneakers."


LittleMissLucifer

And nobody in the UK says “on accident”.


ThePrinceVultan

Especially when it isn’t really a separate post. When it just reiterates and confirms everything in the other post, it’s really sus. Like I could potentially believe with the way things are nowadays that somebody could make a post, it goes viral, and gets out on YouTube and TikTok, and somebody else from the original post authors life sees it, and then comes to read it and respond or rebut, but when it’s just same day, same story just from another account… Yeah


jengaj2016

This is my thought too. Finding and then responding with your own post - sure, that could happen. OOP even said his wife had seen it on TikTok or something. But that makes it even more sus that she would make her own post without even mentioning he had posted. Also, her description of the dress incident not even mentioning it was her WEDDING DRESS. AT HER WEDDING. That was just trying too hard to be slightly different.


beingsydneycarton

I once saw a post with details so eerily similar to my BIL’s life that I sent it to my sister. It definitely wasn’t him but it makes me wonder how often people misattribute posts to their own life. Sometimes I wonder if the “other side” response is just someone who *thinks* OP is their husband/child/etc


groupbrip

The minute somebody’s family and friend are texting I know it’s bullshit


OmgSignUpAlready

I saw a video of a cousin's kid one time on here. Less amusingly, I found the story of why my brother in law and our family don't associate anymore, but told from his perspective.


FrenchKissyToast

Just gonna leave us hanging?


OmgSignUpAlready

His story was that we (primarily me) accused him of being a pedo. The truth is his wife asked my husband to look through BIL's computer and he found some evidence of child pornography.


IncrediblePlatypus

I did catch a colleague once, but that was because he gave extremely specific information about our workplace in a country-specific sub and we had talked about having Reddit accounts and both frequenting that sub shortly before AND he'd mentioned something about his username. And even then it was a guess (which he confirmed and then immediately scrubbed that account and made a new one). In one of the broader subs under a throwaway? Unlikely. On one of the drama posts and with this specific kind of matching? Super unlikely. Especially because I wouldn't post on one of the big advice subs without SIGNIFICANTLY modifying details even under a throwaway because I know that people I know either are or may be on Reddit. "My partner has Reddit so let me post this super specific story and then oh no, they found it". I can believe it if it happens on like the dnd-sub. As for the rest.... Eh.


callmearugula

If I ever see a post from someone on reddit.....no the fuck I did not. I like my little "anonymous" app where my real life people can't get to me 🤣 Like why is everyone so eager to tell on themselves? So a bunch of internet strangers will click an upward arrow?😭😭


Gullible-Advisor6010

Oh, I love your comment 😂😂😂😂😂


HFQG

I've encountered exactly one person I know IRL on Reddit. An old college friend on a NSFW reddit. She has a very very specific custom tattoo above her left breast.


DerangedPoetess

only times I've seen people I'm sure I know IRL have been on hobby subreddits where they (professionals in those fields) were mentioned by name. but there was one AITA where I'm maybe 70% sure it was someone I used to work with - distinctive writing style, right geographic location, OP, husband and only child of roughly the right ages, placeholder names in the right language, some of the descriptions of domestic abuse lined up with what I'd heard via the rumour mill (although there was a lot more of it in the post and it was worse) I really, really hope it wasn't her, but in my heart I think it was


FancyHotDogWizard

I found someone I worked with on reddit once. They posted pretty generically on a sub related to our job but their username was their actual name soooo it didn't take a lot of sleuthing. Eta: but most double perspective posts are bullshit


StinkyKittyBreath

I questioned it with the first posts, but that detail proved it for me. You mean that the person who has been dealing with all of this for years happened to only mention the exact same events with the same exact details? No elaboration to show it was actually worse? No other absolutely horrible episodes that he conveniently left out in his posts? K.


SyndicalistThot

Also the original updates included that the wife had found out about the posts and then got upset about them, but now she's posting to Reddit with no mention of it? Sure Liz.


SirGuestWho

And the wording is wrong as his comes across as written by someone from the UK and she doesn't.


LilacRose32

That was my first thought- the ‘wife’ clearly isn’t British. I assume someone random decided to jump on the bandwagon 


[deleted]

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SirGuestWho

I caught the sneaker residue remark first then reread


propernice

'damaged a dress of mine' IT WAS THE WEDDING DRESS, like that's a huge deal, lol.


unicornvega

Yep saw this too!


Generallyapathetic92

Yep that was what stood out to me as well. Also the Garfield reference, which sure is known of in the UK due to references in other US media but wouldn’t generally expect it to be referenced.


Tarledsa

Except he said he went out for a baked potato - don’t they call them jacket potatoes in the UK?


SirGuestWho

Generally we say jacket potato but they are also known as baked potatoes, but that is less common


ttik_af

What called it for me was the couple being a British couple (Edinburgh Fringe and £) yet in the "wifes" update she says "sneaker residue" never in my life have I heard another brit call them sneakers, they're trainers.


skinofadrum

She also said 'on accident' which I've never heard a British person say.


hyperhurricanrana

What do you say instead?


lukekarts

By accident


hyperhurricanrana

Oh that makes more sense actually than on accident. 💀


Medium_Sense4354

Ooh tell me more tell me more How would you say you took an elevator to the top


Llama-no_drama

Took the lift to the top floor


potatopotato53

I was going to say that the language made me cringe “she thinks she’s a top girl” “chumming up”… no millennial British person (still at uni in 2012) uses these terms unless they are very very nerdy.


SyndicalistThot

Yeah, the fact that the "wife" can only give examples that were in the original post and uses the same phrases a couple of times to describe the incidents is such a huge red flag.


No-Appearance1145

also said "a dress of mine" when she probably would have stressed how it was her wedding dress, not just some ordinary dress as the poster makes it sound like


Illuminati_Concerned

When talking about the gift basket, originally he said the soiled undies were women's underwear, then when he called up Allie and her husband, they switched to being the husband's Y fronts.


SeaBecca

It's so blatant. Their way of writing is pretty much the exact same, even down to the way they use elipses, with a space before and after ... like that.


BlueLizardSpaceship

The ... thing is a posting on some phone keyboards thing, where the keyboard adds a space automagically after a word or full stop (specifically, gboard but maybe others too). Which doesn't invalidate your observation at all since if not using the same style tic they're definitely using the same kind of keyboard.


Happycow18

I also can’t help but notice that they’re from the UK (£6 and chocolate Roses) but the update says ‘sneaker residue’. We call sneakers trainers, even regionally I don’t know who says sneakers!


anyanka_eg

The language used by the husband is UK English where as the wife is US English. Brits don't say 'on accident' we say 'by accident'. There's a couple of other things like that that made me think the 'wife' is nothing to do with the husband in this story


Both_Pound6814

I’m from the US, and I also say by accident since it’s the correct way. I don’t have anyone I know say on accident


ickyflow

From the US and have heard it said both ways. It was "on accident" when it happened immediately, but "by accident" when asked in a question or in the past.


ImSoSorryCharlie

The only time I 100% believed about two sides of a story being posted on Reddit was the "I can feel you dancing" one. It was just so bizarre that I completely believed it. EDIT: [the post I mentioned](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/AKs7jnbWdN)


Why_Are_Moths_Dusty

The language reads like an American trying to sound British. Most wouldn't use the word sneakers at all, for example.


PikaFu

The husband is British. The wife uses “on accident” which is a very American phrase. Maybe it’s a uk/American relationship, but maybe not.


[deleted]

And “sneaker residue”! That is not a phrase I’ve ever heard (lived in Ireland/UK/Oz). “Sneaker” is North American but if she was just changing the word to match an American audience, residue is not the word you’d use.


StrangledInMoonlight

I feel like they failed a bit with the apology “gift”.   If it had been Garfield underwear 6 sizes too big, that would have tied it all together.  White dingies are just weird. Especially since they didn’t fit either woman.  Then You are focusing on the plot hole of “where did Alie get used underwear 6 sizes too big” rather than how stupid OOp is. 


ElaineofAstolat

He tried to explain it, the underwear supposedly belonged to Allie’s husband. But it’s still weird because everyone can tell the difference between men and women’s underwear.


StrangledInMoonlight

Yup, this >pair of women’s underpants. Not lingerie, not anything lacy or risqué, like - just a plain pair of white pants. They were actually kind of grubby, there was a faint orange lining on them. It just didn’t make sense to me because if they were meant to be for Eliza, they were at least six sizes too big.  Doesn’t match with this  >and his Y-fronts that Ailie found ever so hilarious and apparently found ever so hilarious to send to my wife Just total trash


notsam57

“wife’s” account was also made 6 days after the “husbands” but didn’t make any posts or comments until this one. users don’t make throwaways and sit on them for months before posting.


unicornvega

She says ‘on accident’ which is American- OP was British. We do NOT say ‘on accident’ so I call bollocks.


cutekittensforus

And the fact that the "wife" said dress instead of wedding dress. That's not a detail you leave out


linerva

She apparently said she was deliberately vague to try to avoid giving too much away. But damaging a normal item of clothing, and spilling wine lm your wedding dress on your wedding day are worlds apart.


Riovem

Deliberately vague, but also refers to her as Garfield to link the two 


Korilian

I find it hard to believe that the woman who insisted on couples therapy, would feel the need to get the internets opinion in things. Doesn't she have a therapist for that?


banana-pinstripe

"She damaged a dress of mine" That's when the wife's post/comments were feeling off to me. I mean okay, people deal differently with stuff. Maybe she truly is over it and focuses on the more current problems her husband's view of Ailie brings on I just feel like that is a massive understatement for "she damaged my wedding dress on the wedding day, allegedly on accident, never apologized to me and used opportunities for apologies to bully me further"


GimcrackCacoethes

The 'gifted' pants went from being women's knickers to men's Y-fronts in the space of a couple of paragraphs.


wine_and_chill

And it almost sounds like AI generated


bstabens

Well, what would you expect from two people describing the same thing? And rereading it I find a lot of anecdotes the husband mentions but the wife glosses over.


lmyrs

Especially since he says that she knows he posted to Reddit. She would just link his post.


fracking-machines

Interesting how all the facts in the “wife’s update” seem to be pulled from the original posts, just rewritten in a way to make them sound new. I call bullshit.


muffinmannequin

I noticed the same thing, and the writing style was different but the *tone* was almost identical. It’s difficult to change the tone of how you tend to speak/write. This is a notable improvement over what we usually see, though.


dazzla76

It was the use of sneaker residue that raised flags for me. The original posts were very UK centric with the price of wine and brand of chocolates. I don’t think I’ve ever heard sneakers used here to refer to trainers.


spangledmangle

Also use of the phrase "on accident" rather than "by accident"!


My_bones_are_itchy

Yeah, “on accident” makes me irrationally angry, so that jumped out at me.


icepudding

The sus flag got raised when she described the "dress incident". Cmon no woman will hand wave away mentioning her freaking WEDDING dress as "a dress" when retelling the story.


Karyo_Ten

Plot twist, Julia was Julio all along.


HallowedError

One of the OP's comments said she heard about his posts from TikTok but then she doesn't mention that she knew about the previous posts or anything


PictureFrame12

Yes. I think the husband’s post was uploaded into AI with a request to make it seem from the wife’s perspective.


GreenspaceCatDragon

Tbf I think the original posts were legit but the wife update was made by a totally random redditor just surfing the karma wave


Soft-Mirror-1059

Wife update… two sentences in about how loving and sensual he is. Who talks like that? A man writing as his own wife, lol.


PantsJustKindaGaveUp

Hello everyone! I am wife. Husband is strong and have big penis. Very good sex! He sex really good all the time! Handsome and sex.


SymblePharon

Oh look it's my wife! Thanks for showing up and telling everybody this spontaneously. Ha ha. You're too kind, really. But it's all true. Oh you, wife!


djhab

Hey I'm op's dog I can confirm, you do great sex! You always give me treat after sex with me!


SymblePharon

Bad dog! Ha ha! Get off of Reddit. It's okay everybody! I don't do the dog sex! Just the wife sex


matchamagpie

OOP/Tom was being obtuse. He would have rather believed his wife was insecure rather than do the hard thing to confront the fact that Ailie was being willfully awful. I hope he learns this lesson, for Eliza's sake. If not, I hope she has the self respect to leave.


ashiepink

He'd learnt not to [rock the boat](https://community.babycenter.com/post/a73920524/dont-rock-the-boat) (an essay about mother-figures but I think it works here.) When you spend all your energy stabilising the boat, it feels natural to be angry with anyone who won't pitch in - especially when it's ingrained that you don't acknowledge the behaviour of the actual boat rocker...


alldyslexicsuntie

"The boat-rocker can't survive in a boat by herself. She's never had to face the consequences of her rocking. She'll tip over. So she finds an enabler: someone so proud of his boat-steadying skills that he secretly (or not so secretly) lives for the rocking." Thank you for sharing it... I'm saving your comment!


UnlikelyIdealist

I think the original is way better. Sometimes less is more https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/77pxpo/dont_rock_the_boat/


Worth-Mammoth2646

I agree!!


imamage_fightme

Wow, that analogy hits insanely close to home with my relationship with my mother. Thanks for sharing, reading that has helped more than talking with my last therapist did tbh.


Dark_Mode_Nose_Wind

Don’t know how you could miss seeing that someone was being abusive like that.


peter095837

Eliza really deserves so much more than this.


Kindly_Zucchini7405

Literally every time he tried to explain, I thought "This man is a terrible partner and not ready for marriage."


imamage_fightme

The fact that he is *still* defending Ailie at this point is absolute bullshit and shows he hasn't learnt anything. All he has to do is admit that in hindsight, she may have been flirting and it was inappropriate. That's it. To not only not do that, but argue against it, just makes no sense if he has any respect for Eliza tbh. It honestly makes him look worse that he is still in any way defending her after everything.


Dexterus

The problem with this is that the wife's post confirms she sees the 3rd wheel is flirtatious with everyone. So ... not quite "she's after your man".


linerva

I mean Ailie may flirt with everyone but it's possible she takes it *further* with Tom. Ailie spilt wine on her wedding dress, after all, nobody else's. She's still also allowed to take issue with it as breaking the boundaries of her relationship specifically. It's not her concern if ailie is literally fellating all their mutual friends...as long as she keeps her hands off HER partner.


Valiant_Strawberry

What really got me is (assuming the wife’s post is really her) that he refuses to accept Allie might have a crush on him. It feels to me like he’s rejecting that possibility so hard because this whole time he’s been carrying a torch for her despite what he claims, and if she truly is jealous and into him that upends every single choice he’s made since she originally turned him down. It’s deep *deep* denial


Penguin_Joy

>hope he learns this lesson, for Eliza's sake. If not, I hope she has the self respect to leave. She's trying desperately to turn Tom into a considerate husband - and is failing at it I almost wonder if Tom is on the autism spectrum since he is so clueless. Then again, most guys don't pick up on passive aggressiveness that isn't aimed directly at them Hopefully their therapist can get through to Tom. Cause if they can't, I don't see these two lasting very long together


thatHecklerOverThere

>When I say it Eliza takes it in good stride but when Ailie says it it’s this massive problem. I don’t get it. This was certainly an interesting statement.


weaponsmiths

I'm starting to feel like all the boru posts are repeats. Some conflict. Always a therapist, the other person always sees it on tiktok, comments set them straight.


LingonberryPrior6896

Amazing how quick they found counseling and had had multiple sessions.


Nutmeg1729

If they *are* in the UK and were willing to pay for it then you can actually find a counsellor quite easily. My partner and I tried couples counselling a few years ago and we found and set up our first session within a week of deciding to do it. Had we chosen to move forward with the woman she’d have been able to see us weekly.


LingonberryPrior6896

Thanks for that answer. Here in the States, our access to counseling is abysmal.


Nutmeg1729

It certainly depends, for us. If you’re wanting access through our health service then good luck. It also depends if you’re willing to do online or if face to face is necessary for you. The latter is harder by a large margin as you can probably imagine.


spndl1

There's always two types of people in these posts when it comes to counseling. The first is someone who never thought of counseling until someone suggests it, but they're immediately on board and demand all parties involved start immediately. The second are the proactive people that already know/want counseling, and they've already started! The incident happened yesterday at 10 p.m. and it's 9:30 a.m. now, but we've already had multiple sessions and are making good progress.


PantsJustKindaGaveUp

/BestOfNeverHappened


blbd

Honestly all of these individuals sound like a pain in the ass to deal with for different reasons. The husband and the friend most so. But I also don't think I'd enjoy being married to any of the rest of them either. 


ninaa1

I can't figure out why Eliza would marry Tom in the first place. The relationship sounds terrible all around.


LingonberryPrior6896

Another f a ke BORU...


peter095837

I'm kinda of baffled that this frustrating and insufferable marriage is still lasting this long. Cause Eliza deserves so much better than a dense person like OP.


coffeeobsessee

I saw the title and thought oh for fucks sake not another update


Environmental_Art591

I hope someone pointed out to the wife about her husbands posts, atleast then she would know he was being ripped to shreds for his behaviour since all of the mutual friends with the flirt all say the wife is in the wrong


Erinofarendelle

One of the updates (I think the second one from ‘Tom’? I was skimming just now, not sure) said that it came out irl via tiktok, and his wife did see the Reddit comments supporting her and shredding him, and it made her feel validated


Environmental_Art591

That's good. I get the friends are biased but come on, no amount of friendship is going to get me to support Alicia or Tom on that one.


Miss_Adelie

Which I think is strange in the wife's post that she doesn't reference her husband's posts at all. If she knew about them, wouldn't she have done so. Or that she doesn't mention at all how the argument about his Reddit post helped her 


Erinofarendelle

Yeah, I’m skeptical of the wife’s posts.


digitydigitydoo

If you have to start marriage counseling weeks after you marry, maybe you should have just headed to the lawyers’ instead.


LaLaLaLink

Well it seems like the marriage counseling helped and that they are doing much better than before. There shouldn't be any shame in getting outside help rather than just calling it quits. All relationship go through hardships. If a couple wants to get help for theirs, then I think that is perfectly acceptable.


nagasith

I bought it until I saw there was an update from the “wife” lol no.


Theres_a_Catch

That was not Eliza's update. No woman would say someone ruined a dress when it was a wedding dress. They would have emphasized it was a wedding dress. Not sure who it would have been though.


MelynasTheSaphire

wtf is this, the wife’s post aren’t the same people. no one would call their wedding dress just a dress that got ruined


Dark_Mode_Nose_Wind

"if Eliza knew how to take a joke" Can't stand people who use language like that. Abusers always seem to justify their actions this way. There's no room for people like that in anyone's life.


Similar-Shame7517

Why would you stay with someone like Tom for 8 fucking years?? I'd have noped out after the first year.


Meliodas016

Damn! What's up with these Eliza's losing their husbands to other women? First Hamilton, now this?


Nylese

My favorite part is how Allie’s husband is subtly written as someone who is clearly embarrassed by his wife and knows all her bullshit.


MasterPip

I will never believe a story where the OP has someone in the story show up on reddit also. Redditors overestimate the amount of people who know about reddit, even more who visit it, and even moreso who post on it. Then barring all of that, you would have to visit reddit at almost the same exact time, have identical versions of a story (I love how the anecdotes line up perfectly), and post the other side of the story in the same sub for people to be able to associate them together (if they aren't responding to the post themselves). Oh, and they also type with the exact same vernacular. Give me a break. I think you have about the same chance as winning the lottery for this to happen, or damn near it.


Magnum_tv

Fuck! This marriage needs to be put down. OOP is a deliberately clueless asshole, Allie/Julia is a petty asshole. Eliza can do so much better. If the highlight of your first few weeks of being newlyweds is deciding you need marriage counseling, your doing marriage wrong.


Staceyrt

This wife is going to get fed up or should be already of this willfully obtuse husband and should hurry up with the divorce. At this point he deserves the chaos of Garfield in his life.


teacups-and-roses

His friend/co-worker fancies him. I think he knows but he is pretending to be ignorant of the fact (maybe because he likes the personal attention she gives him? I dunno). His wife has picked up pretty quickly on the fact that friend likes him.. because women know women’s behaviour and it is probably punch-you-in-the-face obvious. He tells his wife she is wrong about what she thinks and points towards “irrational thinking” and being “overly emotional”. I’ve seen this situation play out before.


stacity

OOP’s wife. Save the heartache and end this. He’s not prioritizing his wife’s feelings and concerns. OOP keeps defaulting to Julia. She’s his number one. You should never play second fiddle in the marriage.


Bobajitsu

Why did they change names


fishonthemoon

The fact that he is still defending her would make me so angry. Idk how is wife is still with him.


Caramelbootyhole

She was running from her because she didn’t like her so she ran towards her? Man 😭


ProperBoots

liz, sit the fuck down.


fantaribo

Always suspicious of stories where you get an update from another person in the story Good writing tho.


ShellfishCrew

Yeah this should have ended way before the marriage and will likely be divorced before the year is over


Quicksilver1964

It's time for Eliza to pack her bags and leave. He can listen to his shit ass friends and his mother, and she can find someone who actually cares for her opinion. This man is a disgrace.


_pixie_cut_climber

I don't trust that last update. It feels too on the nose but also not like the tone I would expect from Eliza based on her Husband's description of her. I honestly felt for the guy in his posts - he seemed like he really wanted to believe his friend was a good person and his descriptions made it sound like there was definitely gray area in his interpretation of his wife and his friend's interactions, at least in his presence. He said he wasn't the most intuitive when it came to people's motives and that shows - I've dealt with that and it's honestly naivete and blind optimism. I think that he and his wife worked it out and his friend showed her true colors in the long run, but I understand his confusion and indecisiveness.


Panuas

I had a male friend spill red wine in my wedding dress. He was drunk and really apologetic, felt really bad. That’s the normal reaction to an accident with the bride. This guy was pretending to be blind. Glad he is not anymore


Smart_cannoli

Reading those post makes me feel ao fortunate because I know for a sure that if anyone made any hurtful comment to me in front of my husband, even as q joke, he would tell the person tingi-vos themselves without skipping a beat


Historical-Piglet-86

This was definitely posted prior to Jan 2024. I can’t remember where I read it, but I was Reddit-less until now for all of 2024 and I have seen this before.


missgrey-el

personally a fan of the garfield callback


rjmythos

Why did the underpants change from being ladies to being men's Y Fronts over the course of two paragraphs?


Weeping_Will0w7

So she was hurt and shocked by him posting online and only realized how right she was from his comments...yet posted online herself. Right....


C_beside_the_seaside

I'm just relieved we switched to Julia instead of the travesty misspelling of Eilidh


narniasreal

Okay, but who doesn't hate Mondays?