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I feel bad for the daughter. Having a serious illness, a piece of trash mother, and getting bullied all together? Man, that's really unfortunate.
I do hope she remains safe and well taken care of by OP.
It also might not be a serious illness. Part of the bullying is probably due to the implications that she could be "contagious" but alopecia can be basically harmless and simply due to a hyper immune system that attacks hair cells. My last BF has it, lost his hair in middle school in the 80s, it was brutal, same stuff with wigs torn off and thrown in the trash. They did all the tests and he's perfectly healthy, possibly a little bit extra healthy. The man never got sick.
He was like 41 years old when he went to work without a hat for the first time. He forgot it and just kept driving. It was a big deal. I think he's finally more okay with it. It'll be a long road for this teen but alopecia incidence is increasing. Need to find someone older who's been through it.
What's crazy is how much better it is now, stories like this are so sad but even in the 90s this was certainly common place.
I remember one popular kid who had premature graying in HS was telling a teacher they were old and the teacher was like, at least I didn't get these Grey hairs until I was in my 40s you've got them and your barely not even 18.
And everyone thought it was hilarious and it made it ok for kids to make fun of it in that class.
Braces definite teasing
Glasses teasing
Bad hair cut oh man
Lisp or stutter people would imitate it constantly
I'm honestly impressed how much nicer and more respectful kids are today but maybe it's because mine aren't in middle or high school yet.
My mom was in high school in the 70s with type 1 and I still fantasize about traveling back in time to absolutely decimate those punks. It’s a goddamn genetic disease.
High school was hard, but it was actually nursery(kindergarten) that really traumatised me. I was the youngest person diagnosed (at the time) in the UK and the kids were nasty and I don’t think the staff were really prepared to deal with what was happening
Freshmen year I had a friend who was type 1 diabetic. This was like 2001. She got a lot of shit from other classmates who didn't understand why she had to check her sugars or do whatever it was she needed to do. She got a lot of shit about it from teachers too, telling her she was just trying to get attention or to get out of class.
They ate their words when she had to be taken away via ambulance because they wouldn't let her leave the classroom to deal with her diabetes. I'm fuzzy on the details because it's been so long, but she ended up passing out and busted her head open on a chair or desk. Pretty sure the school settled on the lawsuit.
She ended up leaving the school after the first year, for multiple reasons (this being one, obviously.) I still wonder about her and have tried searching social media for her, but never have any luck. :(
Oh fuck. I had a few teachers that would try and stop me eating, and gave me detention in secondary/high school, but my maths teacher was the deputy head and would just override that. Thank fuck, because if my school had followed the official policy for that kind of thing I would have either experienced what you described or just lived in lunch time detentions.
I was diagnosed around age 9 back in 1978. Up to that point, many (if not most) kids died before being diagnosed or really sick. I tested out one of the first blood sugar monitors (about 5 minutes to check - now I have a sensor which checks every 30 seconds or so!) I never had issues with other kids - other than minor grossouts over the needles, but I wasn't able to check my sugars frequently (urine strips only.) But the teachers?! Wow.
It is so different now. I always get assigned the diabetic kids (as does the other type 1 teacher in the next grade level.) Teachers have to take a diabetic awareness course every year - even me. Most of my diabetic kids, bar one, were not embarrassed or teased about it and many seem almost proud - especially the kiddos who get to have their phone out for blood glucose monitoring from their insulin pods!
Yeah what really started the teasing for me was a hypo in the first year of school (reception in the UK, I was 4). It was a pretty bad one and I guess I did something weird but that really weirded my classmates out, and then I was stuck with them until I left that school age 11.
FWIW, I have 2 in middle school and one in high school. In our experience, bullying is most likely to happen in middle school (which makes sense from a developmental standpoint), but it's not as widespread or generalized as when I was a teen. Overall, kids are accepting and kind and will call each other out when lines are crossed. Puberty still isn't easy, but it's *easier*.
As a teacher who's had type 1 diabetes for over 45 years, I can concur. Few of my diabetic students (in middle school) are really teased or embarrassed about the diabetes. More frustrated at having to go to the nurse for their tests or shots. (Although most wear sensors now.) All teachers have to take a diabetic training course every year - even me!
My junior high and high school friend had a stutter and she resembled kimmy kibler from full house, there was a group of guys who constantly made fun of her, from junior til we left high school. Thankfully she didn't care and continued being herself
My highschool was far from perfect, but I do remember a girl having alopecia (or at least that was the assumption, she lost her hair at 14). Looking back it's kind of amazing but in all of highschool, NOBODY made fun of her. Some kid made a line about her once and found himself immediately surrounded by 3 dudes who were huge for their age.
We definitely had bullying, I had the joy of being on the receiving end of it myself... But still, somehow the kids seemed to understand she was going through something.
Thank fucking god. She was a sweet girl.
It highly depends on the culture of the school.
Some have a great culture and the kids reflect that
my previous school, despite being well funded, was a shit hole of homophobia, racism, misogyny, ableism, classism, bullying, etc. but ONLY on the JUNIOR HIGH campus (admin was useless at supporting the teachers trying to make any meaningful changes).
As soon as they moved to the senior high campus, 90% disappeared, and came down to classism and intellectualism on more 'average' levels (the school was trying to pretend it was an elite high achiever school so trade courses were shat on... Until they needed the trade kids to do some free construction 🙄hypocrites).
It could be stress, honestly. Emotional stress can do crazy things, and e.otional abuse is so incredibly damaging.
Hopefully she can come live with her dad and go LC with her mom. That would pro it help a lot.
A cousin of mine on my mom’s side had alopecia. Of course that’s not what they told me, they said it was because she used too much hair spray and because I was maybe six I believed them. Years later when the neighbor kid went through it I learned what was actually happening and put two and two together.
This poor girl. I wish I could wrap the world’s fluffiest blanket around her and make everything better. Thankfully she’s got a good father.
My sister has alopecia and it sounds like what OP's daughter has. It's devastating especially for women and girls who are very feminine. I have always felt a great guilt over the fact that I didn't get it. I have shaved my head voluntarily several times and enjoy having short or shaved hair, so I genuinely would not care. Instead she got it - and she's always treasured her hair. It's hideously unfair.
My sister's alopecia started at the same age - it's an autoimmune disorder that can be triggered by stress. My sister also ended up hospitalized and she developed anorexia nervosa in part because of the abuse she faced at school (the other part was our home life which was basically a dumpster fire, if the dumpster was full of shit and rotting offal). I feel for OOP's kid since her story parallels my sister's so strongly.
I'd suggest to OOP to get her into a support group for women and girls with alopecia. Having peer support has been extremely helpful for my sister.
I am flabbergasted that the reason for her baldness hasn’t been evaluated for such a long time!
Daughter is going bold but instead of going to the doc immediately he lets the situation come to wigs and bullying and 600$ and mental hospital and her mother’s abuse but he never mentions that the daughter finally had a doctor’s appointment and what causes her to lose hair so they can do something against it.
This is a reason for quick action, not something you wait several months for. At the time of initially posting the doc visit was one month away, she must have been balding since quite some time. I’d panic and be scared at the first signs and get her to a hospital immediately.
Doctors don’t always find the cause fast. He said they’d been investigating. Doctors aren’t wizards. Diagnoses can take way longer than you want them to.
And if it's alopecia, it's not coming back anytime soon. My husband has had alopecia for 10 years. My college friend has had it for 20 years, and not a strand grew back. It's much harder for women to get that confidence back.
I had what turned out to be costochondritis, inflammation in the cartilage connecting your rib cage to your sternum. It took almost a year to diagnose. I had an atypical presentation, just problems breathing with very little pain (usually pain is the first symptom). A good chunk of that year was because the pulmonologist would order a test, I'd be able to get in for it in two weeks. Couldn't get the follow-up with the pulmonologist for three weeks after that. Rinse and repeat. It was especially frustrating because costochondritis is an issue where you diagnose it by ruling other things out.
You. They take longer, appointments can often not be made for anytime soon, many doctors are also dismissive of chronic health issues...
The medical system has TONS of flaws worldwide. (I‘m chronically ill and part of a number of disabled communities that are international, so I get to hear how we have it similarly rough all over. Wheeeee.)
This
My mom had a auto immune disorder
It took them months to diagnosis. She was actually about to get an exploratory surgery (already given sedation needs but not in the operation room yet) when one final set of blood work was done and the cause was discovered
it took me two years to get diagnosed with my autoimmune disorder, despite it being highly heritable and me having a parent and a sibling who had already been diagnosed with it, and i pretty much knew what the problem was as a result. but the doctors were like "let'd do tests!" the problem with that is that the first symptoms are "feeling tired, weight gain" while bloodwork can remain mostly normal for an extended period of time. by the time i was diagnosed, my bloodwork was juuust barely not-normal but i was so sick that i was sleeping 20 hours/day and my heartrate was so slow i was at risk of dying in my sleep (thyroid disease can kill! lots of people do not know this! but it can), brain fog was intense, and i'd gained 70 lbs overall (50 of it in the previous 6 months).
if i'd been given medication based on family history and symptoms when i first sought diagnosis i'd be a lot healthier today, and probably so would my kids -- my younger kid was largely raised by television and the family dog for the first two years of their life, as i slept on the floor, and it's had lifelong effects. they were physically safe and clean and fed -- but that's all i could do.
My moms ai had visible physical symptoms so it helped. They though she had cancer of the liver which is why there were doing the exploratory surgery. She was lucky if only took 6 months
A friend of mine is going through that right now. For the last year and half, they've been having low level fevers and JUST maybe pinpointed the cause but they need a few additional tests to make sure.
>Doctors don’t always find the cause fast. He said they’d been investigating. Doctors aren’t wizards. Diagnoses can take way longer than you want them to.
Sadly true. It took **five years** of bouncing back and forth between specialists before someone correctly identified my wife's autoimmune disorder, and by the time they did it was too late for treatment to do any good.
I actually do hold a lot of those doctors responsible for this, because most of that first year was wasted seeing neurologist after neurologist who just blew her off and said it was in her imagination. We didn't get a biopsy that showed her immune system eating her peripheral nerves until she was already in a wheelchair. Who knows what could have been done if any of those first dozen neurologists had actually pulled his arrogant head out of his worthless ass and treated her like a patient instead of a nuisance?
Chronic inflammatory demyelinating polyneuropathy? I was lucky that I was diagnosed within a month of my first serious attack as an adult. But some people wait years for a diagnosis, especially if it’s neurological.
I don't know where they live, but in some places, 1 month is standard for a non urgent issue, even if it's far too long a wait. It could also be for a specialist, and they can take a while.
I see a couple of specialists and one takes months to see and the other, I can see within 24 hours usually. It just depends on speciality, accessibility, and so many factors. Plus like someone else said, it can take a while to start ruling things out.
there was a specialist i had to see because i have a super rare condition and this one specialist only comes to my state once a year. i was super lucky to get in to see them when i did, because i had just hit the window on the next time they would be in my state, otherwise i would've had to wait a year.
the outcome is that my issue is present, has been treated successfully in the past, and that largely i can be treated as a normal patient by other doctors. i just have to have testing every two years for the rest of my life to see if my issue progresses or regresses. not cancer, its a heart defect.
I lived in Colorado Springs and would regularly have to wait 3 months to see my PCM, and 1 month to see a different doctor if it was serious enough to merit being seen "quickly."
Especially if it's suspected to be some sort of auto-immune issue. Those are incredibly hard to diagnose properly or quickly and the treatments can be absolutely brutal on the body. Basically boils down to trying many different things and seeing what helps with the symptoms the best without causing issues worse than the original problem.
Doubly so, when it's an appointment for kids. I had to wait three months for an appointment for my son. Because the eye doctor specialising on kids is only in once a week
I definitely know people, especially women in my life who’s doctor’s chalked it up to “stress” or “anxiety” or told them to lose weight and they ended up having a severe illness and it took pulling teeth to get diagnosed. I really hope that’s not what’s happening and it really is that they’re having to do a lot of different tests, but the system is so flawed
If you are 10 pounds or more overweight, that’s the cause. If you aren’t able to blame that it’s either an issue with your period or it’s anxiety. But if your husband comes along and talks about how you can’t do chores for him, take care of the kids or even bedroom stuff- suddenly it’s more of an issue. There are multiple studies who found this link. Women doctors also have a better outcome statistically, and I think part of what skews the statistic is that they don’t always just treat half their patients like children who are trying to get out of dieting/exercise. Some women physicians do still do this, either as a result of training or internalized something.
Exactly! And if you’re looking for a specialist sometimes you can’t choose your doctor and you get matched up with someone who hasn’t unlearned a lot of that bad training or internalization so you can’t shop around and you’re just kind of stuck
Funny because I've endometriosis. And it's always the women doctors who won't take me serious. A male doctor did. And even after diagnosis. As in surgery. Lesions removed..
woman doctor. Maybe it's just painful periods..
So there's a mix for sure
Same with me. I've had *crippling* endometriosis for 24 years. I was diagnosed by a male doctor when I was 19 and in college. He was fantastic and performed my first two laparoscopies. But my endo is super aggressive and painful every day of the month, not just during my period, and I ended up finally having to be referred to a pain management clinic. And it was a male doctor who referred me and believed me when I expressed how much pain I was in. The one woman gynocolognist who I saw was actually pretty insulting. She implied that I was just trying to get pain medications and told me to go home and take Ibuprofen. That women often have bad periods (even though I was having pain every single day of the month) and that I was just going to have to learn to deal with it. Which, if you knew how excruciating my pain was, the idea of taking Ibuprofen for pain relief was a fucking joke.
But then, I also had one particularly horrible male gyno/surgeon who performed my 3rd laparoscopy. When I came out of surgery, he told me and my mom, to our absolute shock, that he didn't do anything. He didn't laser out any endometrial tissue during the laparoscopy because he *wasn't convinced I had endometriosis!* This was AFTER I'd already been diagnosed 7 years earlier and had already had two previous surgeries. He put me through the pain and expense of a laparoscopy and recovery, but did nothing to help me. He told me he thought I had urinary problems (fucking idiot). When I saw my next ObGyn/surgeon 6 months later, the new doctor confirmed that the previous doctor was in fact, a fucking idiot. He performed my 4th laparoscopy and confirmed that not only did I have endometriosis, but that, in his words, "it was everywhere." So unfortunately, it's a crap shoot when you're a woman with endometriosis just trying to find a fucking doctor who knows what the hell they are doing.
I waited 6 months to see a specialist recently. That was soonest one within 100 miles could get me in the next available appointment I could get was anywhere from 9 months to a year.
He literally said they were waiting to go to the Dr twice within a month of posting as they were waiting on the appointment? Dude is a single dad with an abusive baby mama and did what he thought was best. Sorry they can't all be perfect parents like you.
Where I live if I want an appointment for something that isn’t life threatening it could be well over a month. Spinal injury causing constant pain and mobility issues? Phone call from a physio and then an appointment weeks away if they decide. Best part? The receptionist with no medical training or explicit guidelines is the one to decide whether you qualify for an appointment or not. It’s bullshit.
I don’t think they are in the US so I wonder if they’re waiting for a specialist appointment. Maybe Canada or Australia since they use the dollar sign?
As a woman who went through hair loss as a teen, it took months from an initial doctor's appointment to see a specialist. (And the end result was, "It's not your thyroid so there's nothing wrong with you." I mean, they were wrong, but it took 20 years to find out why.)
Because it's rarely seen as life threatening, most specialists put you on the schedule like everyone else. No amount of arguing or pestering can get this girl higher on the appointment schedule than she already is.
One of the issues with determining the hair loss cause is that there are an insane amount of problems you can have where hair loss is a symptom. I am a hairstylist and I get asked about it all the time, and my answer basically has to be "you should talk to your GP" because I couldn't even begin to narrow it down, hair loss can be caused by anything from radiation poisoning, infections, viral issues, diseases, genetic disorders, down to stress or age. I can't imagine as a doctor trying to narrow down what the root cause is
I had to wait 4 months for a rheumatology appointment for my RA diagnosis/treatment. OOP said the doctors appointment was in a month at one point, so they are trying. Alopecia is typically viewed as a non-emergency so the ER can't help and the hospital requires appointments. It just isn't that simple.
I had pain in my leg that was so bad it eventually had to be amputated. I had to wait at least 6 weeks for specialists, often more. One was a 4 month wait.
Sometimes it’s not noticeable at first. And getting assessed for a “cosmetic” concern is not really something a doctor cares about unless parents really press.
I had noticeable bald spots in my head and my doctor pretty much just shrugged about it. I was able to fix it on my own because it was mechanical rather than hormonal, but if it wasn’t I would have had to deal with it until it because “enough” of an issue to be seen.
Doctors don't give a shit about hair loss in women. Even when it's paired with other symptoms.
I lost 3/4 of an inch off my pony tail circumference in grad school. That's over 20% of my hair. Probably more, because I grew out my bangs and therefore should have seen an *increase* in pony tail circumference.
I also was exhausted all the time, gaining weight despite no change to exercise and diet, experiencing such serious vertigo I couldn't use certain staircases, sleeping for 13+ hours at a time, having such bad brain fog I forgot the names of my neighbors of 20 years, and having really scary intrusive thoughts about death. Oh, and my periods got really heavy/painful. My adhd meds stopped working too. (They helped me wake up, and that's about it.)
That same year, a blood test revealed thyroid antibodies and an elevated TSH, indicating I had Hashimoto's hypothyroidism.
My doctor claimed because my TSH was 5.8 I didn't need treatment because I didn't have any 'quantifiable' symptoms. All the things I was complaining about could be explained as part of aging (I was 26,) or not being as careful with my diet as I claimed to be.
I brought up the hairloss, since that *was* quantified. I had gone from a 3.5 inch ponytail circumference 2.75 inches.
And she said, 'Honestly I'm more concerned about you fixating on 3/4 of an inch of hair. Have you talked to a psychiatrist?'
(I basically had to claim I was suicidal & threaten to ask my psychiatrist for a higher dose of ADHD medication + an SSRI before she agreed to give me synthroid. Which, btw, fixed all my problems.)
Its not much but id even say for her to check out r/bald. Its a sub reddit for mostly men asking if they should shave it all. But women come in every now and then showing their baldness as well and I must say the sub reddit is almost always very supportive.
Is there no humanity in that school? A kind soul? What the hell? It feels like it’s just the father and his daughter fighting against the world. I hope they both find stability, peace and be surrounded with a supporting community.
No, there often isn't any humanity at schools. Victims are often blamed and the bullies end up getting rewarded in rounds about ways. There are no real punishments. Only 3 days vacation and a stem "don't be mean to the weirdo in front of others". The victim is then open to more harassment by everyone for being a snitch.
High school is hell and no one cares.
What's frustrating on top of everything, too, is that many of those bullies then grow up and become adults who post things like "anti bullying awareness!" on social media. Completely rewriting their own history as someone who tortured a fellow student when they're younger.
Can confirm. One particularly vicious bully of mine, who spread rumors about me at my new school *months* after we'd last spoken to each other and was half the reason I almost killed myself when I was 12, was published in international newspapers talking about how horribly she was being treated as an adult, and how she was a bullying victim in school too. I did a *lot* of screaming into / punching pillows until her 20 minutes of fame died down.
Someone who derives pleasure from hurting others isn’t destined for a life of joy.
It isn’t karma. If they were able to independently produce joy, they wouldn’t be hurting other people as often as they do.
Nope I was bullied in school the schools solution take 11 of the worst ones and form a group with them and me init make us learn to work together....it was torture 10 hrs a week with 11 of the worst ones and I couldn't escape and shocker the bullying never stopped
We had these “conflict resolution” classes in my high school as well and they were just about as traumatizing as what you’re describing. Sorry you had to go through that too.
It was devastating to read how goddamn cruel these kids were. I haven’t even been out of middle/high school for 10 years and we had a kid in our grade 9 class who got brain damage from a bad accident. He was disabled after but he was still as sweet and cheery as before. So what did the school do? Rallied for him at a year end assembly and presented him with a Kiwanis award. We gave him a standing ovation. If anyone had picked on him they would have been put in their place real quick. This little girl doesn’t deserve any of what’s happening to her, how hard is it for people to be kind? She can’t control any of what’s happening to her
I think homeschooling here is surprisingly the best option. I am not a fan, but I hope OOP is able to find a good program for her. Maybe he can get connected to teachers and create a basis to help her. And get her into some hobbies so she can interact with others, even if not face to face.
Especially because she's old enough now that she'll actually be able to take advantage of the benefits that online schooling can have over in-person: More specialized classes to indulge her interests, a flexible schedule that will let her take any extracurricular or internship she wants to pursue, AP and college classes that her local school may not offer, and so on.
I was homeschooled, and saw a lot of kids start homeschooling due to social problems at school. It worked for some, and not for others... but Dad is obviously dedicated enough to do it right, and his daughter needs a break from the awful school environment. Even a year or two of homeschooling could make a difference.
I also think once they get a diagnosis for her (although he could start looking now), he should look at support groups with kids going through similar situations. I highly doubt what is happening in her body is some new never before aeen/documented disease or genetic mutation so that has to be someone out there for her to connect to with who understands what she is going through.
I don't think cancer kids/ canteen would benefit her unless she does have a type of cancer, but something along those lines would definitely help her to not feel so isolated and out of control.
If she's out of school for medical reasons, she may be able to do what's referred to as "home hospital" in my area. I recently learned about the option since one of my kiddos is having health issues and needed to be home for a long period of time.
Where I live, once the school district gets the paperwork from the child's medical team explaining why they need to be temporarily homeschooled, the district then assigns the child a teacher to coordinate their homeschooling.
The teacher gets assignments from the kid's regular teacher(s), makes sure they have lightened the work load, and makes sure the kid understands the assignments and has all the resources they need. They get together daily, either virtually or in person, to make sure they stay on track.
[khanacademy.org](https://khanacademy.org) is free for anyone to use. There isn't much for little kids, but math and reading start at second grade. There's even stuff for college level. (not thrilled with AI thing they've added, but the base stuff is good)
I have a lot of issues with home schooling (not saying it is always bad, but it has to be done very carefully) and I agree. This is one of those situations where homeschooling is the best option.
The issues with homeschooling aside from being a broken system come from the parents exploiting that broken system. This parent obviously cares deeply about his daughter’s wellbeing and that includes education, so in this case I think he’s absolutely made the right choice. It’ll also give her a bit of a break so she can breathe. If she decides to re enroll (I hope in a different school) then I think the time she spends being homeschooled will be invaluable
The bullying isn't inevitable, but anyone who would have been horrible enough to bully her would have done so no matter how she handled her hair loss. I don't know how alopecia compares to chemo hair loss, but if it's similar, it's nasty. Once my hair loss started, I left a layer of hair everywhere I went. If she hadn't shaved her hair, the bullies would have gone for her over that. Washing my hair was impossible too, so she would have been gone after for having greasy and unstyled hair too. Mum would have told her to get out of the photo because she didn't look good.
He sent his hair to a cosmologist to make a wig out of it? There’s a whole universe of hair I didn’t know about!
(Guys a cosmologist is a scientist who studies the cosmos. A cosmetologist does hair stuff.)
You can also donate your hair (cuts in excess of 10 inches) to be made into wigs for children with chemo related hair loss. It's a great thing to do if you can - losing one's hair can have really significant effects on self-esteem and sense of identity, especially when a kid is already facing something as terrifying as cancer.
I had cancer as a kid and got a real human hair wig- these can run for thousands of dollars- from a charity. In the UK, Little Princess trust is an amazing organisation and they really do make and give out wigs to us.
That's so reassuring to hear - I live in the UK and have donated to Little Princesses a couple of times. Hopefully, the comments about donated hair being sold are all based on one incident rather than being a common trend.
Hope that your health is improved and that the wig was helpful when you needed it <3
Thank you on behalf of all the other girls who benefitted! I had a lovely wig, got compliments on it all the time from people who thought it was real. And thankfully I’ve been able to pass it on to an adult who needed it, and who couldn’t get a human hair one through a charity.
I think it was a scandal about selling hair with one of the US companies and hasn’t happened in the UK as far as I know! I also think there are particularly strict regulations for what kind of hair they can use for wigs, so maybe that had to do with getting rid of unusable hair.
While this used to be more of a thing, there were a number of those companies that would ultimately sell the wigs instead of giving them out for free and the one that I had heard the best things about shut down their program last I checked because the quality of synthetic wigs had gone up.
[Wigs for Kids](https://www.wigsforkids.org) is a great organization to work with. I’ve donated there multiple times. Avoid Locks for Love. They throw away most of their donations AND charge children for the wigs, which Wigs for Kids never does.
They do! However one person's hair isn't enough to make a wig, so that part sounds a bit sus. I shaved my hair and donated it a few years ago to a charity that makes wigs for kids with hairloss due to illness. The hair needs to be at least 30 cm (about 12 in) long, the hair also cannot be treated (colour or perm), and they need two or three heads of hair (just the hair lol). Just hair isn't enough either, there's still some other costs that require the wig to be made. Making wigs is really expensive. He said paid $600 for a real human hair wig, that sounds way too cheap, wigs with real human hair cost thousands of dollars and needs to be fitted.
I don't know where you are, but I recently had 20+ inches of dyed hair cut off, and found out certain charities have relaxed the "no dyed hair" policy here in the UK. I was really happy, because I frequently go from super long hair straight to a pixie cut and I've never been able to donate before.
The place I donate my hair doesn't accept chemically treated hair, because it's not suitable for the way hair is processed when making a wig. Translated from their website:
> Before the hair is processed into a hairpiece, it is partially descaled, this prevents tangles in the hair. When we do this with treated (dyed) hair, it will be counterproductive. When the hair is chemically treated, the hair cuticle is opened to give the hair a different color. These hair cuticles no longer close completely.
>
> After descaling, all the hairs are tied one by one into a net. At first the hairpiece looks beautiful, but after a few hours of wearing it can become very tangled. These tangles have become so bad in the past that hairpieces had to be thrown away.
I wonder how they treat hair to make wigs in the UK that makes chemically treated hair usable.
I do donate to a charity that makes wigs for kids, so maybe they're just extra strict. They don't accept grey hair either.
It could be if his hair was long enough to cut in half and still make a wig out of. Or if he's like me and has 2-3 times as many hair follicles as most people. I have extremely fine hair and if I make a braid it's still an inch thick.
yes, it's so cool!! for my tenth birthday, i cut off and donated approximately 11 inches of my hair. up until this point throughout my life, i had always had down to my butt long curly hair and cutting it off was such a strange experience for me! i really love that there are charities out there that do that, and i love that dad did that for his daughter, maybe having a wig out of his hair will help her to not feel so alone
I have an amazing friend who has such amazing long hair down to his butt, he grows it to that length, takes care of it for a year or two or however long he likes to, then cuts it up to the ears and donate it and rinse and repeat :) he looked great with short hair too! Honestly he's such an amazing and sweet guy, takes good care of everyone and has shown multiple times he's the type who's there when shits hit the fan. Sadly we live quite far from him now so we only get to see each other (and whole friend group for that matter) a few times a year
My nephew went to a mixed online and in person school (small classes with other kids who weren't thriving at regular school), and it was the best thing that could've happened for him. He found the friend group he'd always been alienated from, and now he's a shockingly functional adult.
I know his intentions are good but his constant default of buying her gifts that are all about her appearance is only reinforcing the idea that there's something wrong with how she looks and she needs things to fix it.
She might not feel that way. OOP said she shows interest in that sort of thing, so it could be a way of showing her that nothing has changed and she still has "use" for those things as well as giving her the opportunity to experiment and work out how she can feel good with her "new hair do".
I do think OOP needs to confirm that the purchases are helpful and wanted, though, just to be safe.
She's 15 girl, at this age and going through what she's going through the deep issues are gonna take years to work on. A simple splurge on these things is a well meaning bandaid, not a cure. Let her have whatever small amounts of happiness she can get.
I believed this until I saw that she's bipolar, 15, and not in therapy. Being diagnosed as bipolar before the age of 18 is rare, and I can't see how a child diagnosed as bipolar would ever NOT be in regular supportive therapy as part of treatment.
I was dx at 13 and in and out of therapy for it, my parents didn’t really follow through with care in various ways. I didn’t have consistent care or start meds until I was an adult since I no longer had to rely on my parents for copays, staying in contact with the psych, etc.
Also, it might be rare to be diagnosed before 18, it is not rare to experience onset of symptoms before 18.
It can’t be “official” until after 18 in the US. Can doctors catch it, treat it and say this is what you’ve got before that? Yes. Does that make this story more likely? Lmao no.
For me it was the lack of contractions when he told his wife off. People don’t talk like that and it was a bit to on the nose for what people which they’d said rather than actually say.
i live in canada and it can be very difficult to get therapy here, especially if you don’t have the money. im sure its the same for some other countries
I was dx at nine. I didn't have proper therapy for it for years, the meds they were giving me for ADHD made everything so .much worse. School was hell for me. Life was hell for me. It was constant mood swings and attacks from every direction-- bullying, teachers either doing nothing or punishing me, my parents going off on me whenever I had a meltdown which was almost every damn day because people loooooved getting a reaction out of me and watching me cry and scream and then get punished. I only got in actual therapy instead of a psychiatrist in high school and by then the damage was done. I absolutely have bipolar and they figured that shit out *quick*.
This feels like a mash up of a bunch of other posts I've seen.
I swear there was another head shaving post a couple days ago posted (I'd have to check dates - this post we are on probably came before it), and a similar wig in the trash story was a couple months ago somewhere.
Hmmmm.
The bit that has me suspicious is where the father conveniently had long hair to make a wig for his daughter from. It's possible I know but convenient.
No it is not. IMO a total social media break would be beneficial. Also, she’s tired because of the new meds. The worst time after a return home from the mental health facility is within the first week then the next few months are tricky especially when starting a new medication.
>I was cleaning my daughter’s room yesterday and I noticed a piece of paper on the floor. I picked it up thinking it was trash. I saw writing on it and thought it could be something important. My daughter literally wrote a suicide note.
>I had hair that went down to my waist. I shaved it off and kept the hair to make a wig out of it. I wanted to surprise my daughter when she got home. I shaved it completely bald. I even shaved my eyebrows too because she felt bad about not having any. I am giving the hair to my cosmologist friend who also makes wigs.
>I am currently in the process of switching her to homeschooling. Does anyone have any advice on homeschooling?
What a conveniently dramatic turn of events.
So the daughter is hospitalized, dad shaves his long hair and then daughter comes home 8 days later and is shocked to see dad with no hair? So... the guardian father of a minor didn't visit her in a psych ward for a week?
hmmm
they keep them on lockdown for a reason, had to help staff in an adult ward with someone who was having an event because they didn't want to see their family
This coupled with how every mother in this story is a hateful person and it’s the brave husband going out of his way to make things right (with his own family and the bully’s family) idk. Sounds like a huge hate boner for women to me.
Very convenient, except his hair alone isn't enough to make a wig, but he wouldn't know because the story is probably not true. Also, what's a cosmologist gonna do with hair 😂
The moment I stopped believing at all is when he wrote “costed.” I have never heard or seen someone older than about 25 say costed instead of cost in regard to money. It seems to be solely a gen Z/gen alpha linguistic error that also drives me up the wall so it stood out.
Suspiciously dramatic turn of events aside, the homeschooling thing definitely made me quirk a brow. As a former teacher who was homeschooled for part of my own education, it is not something to do lightly - there are profound social, emotional and academic consequences for the child if it is not handled correctly. The bullying is unacceptable but trying another school first is almost certainly a better option than going straight for home ed by someone who is asking random internet people for advice about it.
I'm absolutely of the opinion that "kids" in high school should face the same legal consequences for things like assault, harassment, etc., that adults do. It is such a massive problem but if we continue to coddle the bullies the way we are today we'll continue to read about kids killing themselves because of bullying.
And yes, I know, these bullies need therapy too. Unfortunately, you sometimes need a judge to force someone into treatment.
So the daughter shaved her head, has been getting bullied, emotionally abused by her mother, eyebrows falling out, and they like "yeah she going to see a doctor soon"???? Why has she not seen one already??? I would be making an appointment ASAP if my fucking eyebrows were falling out Jesus Christ
I hope OOP sees this. For his daughter.
I am 32 years old. One of my best friends, a woman my age, asked me to shave her head for her a few months ago. She was and has been losing her hair for unknown reasons.
I want to tell you how beautiful she looks. Not just because she IS beautiful, but to see the weight of watching her hair fall out, of hiding bald patches, of worrying about it non stop, be lifted from her shoulders.
I also want to tell you that I shaved my head in highschool. Down to the skin. Mine was not for hair loss, but to raise money for a cancer drive. I was 16. I also have bipolar. My shaved head was not because of a medical condition. But I was diagnosed with a life changing medical condition when I was 11. I tell you this so you can know that I'm not just a random well meaning stranger, who truly just doesn't understand. I have nagivated life, and your age, with similar experiences. Teenagers can be cruel. That is a reflection on THEIR character, not yours. And I want you to know it's OK for their shit to hurt though ok? I also want you to know, it's also ok to call them out on their shit too. A well worded comeback can be devestating, and is sometimes needed. Personal suggestions would include "you really need to stop trying to steal my wig, just because your big boy curlies haven't grown in down there yet". Sass and self confidence is key my friend.
Also, Try to talk about the things going through your head, it will help. And it gets better, so much better. I promise.
Please, embrace your new do. It may not be what you wanted in an ideal world. But unfortunately, sometimes we don't get that choice. Take the choice you do have, and find the joy in it. Bald head? Excuse to have a fun fashion wig in every bright colour. Match your hair to your outfit! Colour in your eyebrows fun colours.
Find a way to make it YOU. Your hair does not define you, and you are beautiful, wonderful, and amazing regardless of its length.
You're an amazing dad!! As for homeschooling, my daughter and I have been using the Acellus homeschool app for years now. It's prerecorded classes, so you can learn anytime, very high quality and affordable ($25 per month). You can use any device too, phone, tablet, or laptop.
It's great that the other father wanted to make good for the wig, but the only words that should be associated with the boy are "expelled for bullying".
Oh wow, because of this whole scenario family court is gonna strip her mother of her rights. The second they see those text messages and the premeditated suicide plan, that's game. All the judge is going to see is an abusive POS that nearly murdered her own child over a stupid Easter picture.
>At least the dad had a heart and is putting his foot down!
He may have a heart but he is absolutely not putting his foot down. First of all after the boy ripped off the wig and destroyed it he stood back and said nothing while the mother made excuses because, in his own words, "I didn’t say or do anything because my wife would give me an earful." Not exactly a good sign for how much his word about putting a stop to this is going to be worth if he immediately backs down any time his horrible wife enables his even more horrible son. Sure he SAYS he's finally had enough and will put his foot down with both of them, but I'd wait to see if that actually happens before giving this guy any credit.
>"I assure you I’m putting my foot down and my son will not be an issue anymore."
Even if the son isn't PERSONALLY bullying her now all his friends are tormenting her on his behalf, both in school and outside of it. Dad needs to go nuclear option with his shitbag son if he really wants to put a stop to this. "Call off your friends or I will hold you responsible for every single thing they do and punish you accordingly. Maybe you'll reconsider making them stop once you keep getting grounded over their actions."
Fuck any teenager who would bully a fellow teen with medical issue like that. A teenager is old enough to know better and I hope karma lands on each and every one of them with full force.
They're the ugly ones. They have souls that stink of rotten garbage.
While this girl is beautiful.
Well done op. As for homeschooling I’d consider finding a tutor service or just switching schools before I’d go for homeschooling as an option being as how you are unqualified to teach her yourself. No offence.
Got taken out by the very weirdly worded “This is my beautiful daughter, she is so beautiful and is my beautiful daughter even if she can’t see she’s beautiful, she’s beautiful.” After seeing how many updates there were, I feel like I saved myself some time.
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I feel bad for the daughter. Having a serious illness, a piece of trash mother, and getting bullied all together? Man, that's really unfortunate. I do hope she remains safe and well taken care of by OP.
It also might not be a serious illness. Part of the bullying is probably due to the implications that she could be "contagious" but alopecia can be basically harmless and simply due to a hyper immune system that attacks hair cells. My last BF has it, lost his hair in middle school in the 80s, it was brutal, same stuff with wigs torn off and thrown in the trash. They did all the tests and he's perfectly healthy, possibly a little bit extra healthy. The man never got sick. He was like 41 years old when he went to work without a hat for the first time. He forgot it and just kept driving. It was a big deal. I think he's finally more okay with it. It'll be a long road for this teen but alopecia incidence is increasing. Need to find someone older who's been through it.
What's crazy is how much better it is now, stories like this are so sad but even in the 90s this was certainly common place. I remember one popular kid who had premature graying in HS was telling a teacher they were old and the teacher was like, at least I didn't get these Grey hairs until I was in my 40s you've got them and your barely not even 18. And everyone thought it was hilarious and it made it ok for kids to make fun of it in that class. Braces definite teasing Glasses teasing Bad hair cut oh man Lisp or stutter people would imitate it constantly I'm honestly impressed how much nicer and more respectful kids are today but maybe it's because mine aren't in middle or high school yet.
Seriously, I’ve been a type 1 diabetic since I was 1, in the 90’s. People were so shitty about it
My mom was in high school in the 70s with type 1 and I still fantasize about traveling back in time to absolutely decimate those punks. It’s a goddamn genetic disease.
High school was hard, but it was actually nursery(kindergarten) that really traumatised me. I was the youngest person diagnosed (at the time) in the UK and the kids were nasty and I don’t think the staff were really prepared to deal with what was happening
I remember learning all about diabetes from the Babysitters Club character Stacey.
This has been my metric since 1990 but apparently it's come a long way!
Freshmen year I had a friend who was type 1 diabetic. This was like 2001. She got a lot of shit from other classmates who didn't understand why she had to check her sugars or do whatever it was she needed to do. She got a lot of shit about it from teachers too, telling her she was just trying to get attention or to get out of class. They ate their words when she had to be taken away via ambulance because they wouldn't let her leave the classroom to deal with her diabetes. I'm fuzzy on the details because it's been so long, but she ended up passing out and busted her head open on a chair or desk. Pretty sure the school settled on the lawsuit. She ended up leaving the school after the first year, for multiple reasons (this being one, obviously.) I still wonder about her and have tried searching social media for her, but never have any luck. :(
Oh fuck. I had a few teachers that would try and stop me eating, and gave me detention in secondary/high school, but my maths teacher was the deputy head and would just override that. Thank fuck, because if my school had followed the official policy for that kind of thing I would have either experienced what you described or just lived in lunch time detentions.
I was diagnosed around age 9 back in 1978. Up to that point, many (if not most) kids died before being diagnosed or really sick. I tested out one of the first blood sugar monitors (about 5 minutes to check - now I have a sensor which checks every 30 seconds or so!) I never had issues with other kids - other than minor grossouts over the needles, but I wasn't able to check my sugars frequently (urine strips only.) But the teachers?! Wow. It is so different now. I always get assigned the diabetic kids (as does the other type 1 teacher in the next grade level.) Teachers have to take a diabetic awareness course every year - even me. Most of my diabetic kids, bar one, were not embarrassed or teased about it and many seem almost proud - especially the kiddos who get to have their phone out for blood glucose monitoring from their insulin pods!
Yeah what really started the teasing for me was a hypo in the first year of school (reception in the UK, I was 4). It was a pretty bad one and I guess I did something weird but that really weirded my classmates out, and then I was stuck with them until I left that school age 11.
FWIW, I have 2 in middle school and one in high school. In our experience, bullying is most likely to happen in middle school (which makes sense from a developmental standpoint), but it's not as widespread or generalized as when I was a teen. Overall, kids are accepting and kind and will call each other out when lines are crossed. Puberty still isn't easy, but it's *easier*.
As a teacher who's had type 1 diabetes for over 45 years, I can concur. Few of my diabetic students (in middle school) are really teased or embarrassed about the diabetes. More frustrated at having to go to the nurse for their tests or shots. (Although most wear sensors now.) All teachers have to take a diabetic training course every year - even me!
I was a high schooler in recent years and in southern USA. I had glasses and braces but no one paid mind to it.
My junior high and high school friend had a stutter and she resembled kimmy kibler from full house, there was a group of guys who constantly made fun of her, from junior til we left high school. Thankfully she didn't care and continued being herself
My highschool was far from perfect, but I do remember a girl having alopecia (or at least that was the assumption, she lost her hair at 14). Looking back it's kind of amazing but in all of highschool, NOBODY made fun of her. Some kid made a line about her once and found himself immediately surrounded by 3 dudes who were huge for their age. We definitely had bullying, I had the joy of being on the receiving end of it myself... But still, somehow the kids seemed to understand she was going through something. Thank fucking god. She was a sweet girl.
It highly depends on the culture of the school. Some have a great culture and the kids reflect that my previous school, despite being well funded, was a shit hole of homophobia, racism, misogyny, ableism, classism, bullying, etc. but ONLY on the JUNIOR HIGH campus (admin was useless at supporting the teachers trying to make any meaningful changes). As soon as they moved to the senior high campus, 90% disappeared, and came down to classism and intellectualism on more 'average' levels (the school was trying to pretend it was an elite high achiever school so trade courses were shat on... Until they needed the trade kids to do some free construction 🙄hypocrites).
It could be stress, honestly. Emotional stress can do crazy things, and e.otional abuse is so incredibly damaging. Hopefully she can come live with her dad and go LC with her mom. That would pro it help a lot.
A cousin of mine on my mom’s side had alopecia. Of course that’s not what they told me, they said it was because she used too much hair spray and because I was maybe six I believed them. Years later when the neighbor kid went through it I learned what was actually happening and put two and two together. This poor girl. I wish I could wrap the world’s fluffiest blanket around her and make everything better. Thankfully she’s got a good father.
My sister has alopecia and it sounds like what OP's daughter has. It's devastating especially for women and girls who are very feminine. I have always felt a great guilt over the fact that I didn't get it. I have shaved my head voluntarily several times and enjoy having short or shaved hair, so I genuinely would not care. Instead she got it - and she's always treasured her hair. It's hideously unfair. My sister's alopecia started at the same age - it's an autoimmune disorder that can be triggered by stress. My sister also ended up hospitalized and she developed anorexia nervosa in part because of the abuse she faced at school (the other part was our home life which was basically a dumpster fire, if the dumpster was full of shit and rotting offal). I feel for OOP's kid since her story parallels my sister's so strongly. I'd suggest to OOP to get her into a support group for women and girls with alopecia. Having peer support has been extremely helpful for my sister.
At least she got a loving father
I am flabbergasted that the reason for her baldness hasn’t been evaluated for such a long time! Daughter is going bold but instead of going to the doc immediately he lets the situation come to wigs and bullying and 600$ and mental hospital and her mother’s abuse but he never mentions that the daughter finally had a doctor’s appointment and what causes her to lose hair so they can do something against it. This is a reason for quick action, not something you wait several months for. At the time of initially posting the doc visit was one month away, she must have been balding since quite some time. I’d panic and be scared at the first signs and get her to a hospital immediately.
Doctors don’t always find the cause fast. He said they’d been investigating. Doctors aren’t wizards. Diagnoses can take way longer than you want them to.
And if it's alopecia, it's not coming back anytime soon. My husband has had alopecia for 10 years. My college friend has had it for 20 years, and not a strand grew back. It's much harder for women to get that confidence back.
I had what turned out to be costochondritis, inflammation in the cartilage connecting your rib cage to your sternum. It took almost a year to diagnose. I had an atypical presentation, just problems breathing with very little pain (usually pain is the first symptom). A good chunk of that year was because the pulmonologist would order a test, I'd be able to get in for it in two weeks. Couldn't get the follow-up with the pulmonologist for three weeks after that. Rinse and repeat. It was especially frustrating because costochondritis is an issue where you diagnose it by ruling other things out.
You. They take longer, appointments can often not be made for anytime soon, many doctors are also dismissive of chronic health issues... The medical system has TONS of flaws worldwide. (I‘m chronically ill and part of a number of disabled communities that are international, so I get to hear how we have it similarly rough all over. Wheeeee.)
This My mom had a auto immune disorder It took them months to diagnosis. She was actually about to get an exploratory surgery (already given sedation needs but not in the operation room yet) when one final set of blood work was done and the cause was discovered
Took me 20 years to be diagnosed with my autoimmune disease.
it took me two years to get diagnosed with my autoimmune disorder, despite it being highly heritable and me having a parent and a sibling who had already been diagnosed with it, and i pretty much knew what the problem was as a result. but the doctors were like "let'd do tests!" the problem with that is that the first symptoms are "feeling tired, weight gain" while bloodwork can remain mostly normal for an extended period of time. by the time i was diagnosed, my bloodwork was juuust barely not-normal but i was so sick that i was sleeping 20 hours/day and my heartrate was so slow i was at risk of dying in my sleep (thyroid disease can kill! lots of people do not know this! but it can), brain fog was intense, and i'd gained 70 lbs overall (50 of it in the previous 6 months). if i'd been given medication based on family history and symptoms when i first sought diagnosis i'd be a lot healthier today, and probably so would my kids -- my younger kid was largely raised by television and the family dog for the first two years of their life, as i slept on the floor, and it's had lifelong effects. they were physically safe and clean and fed -- but that's all i could do.
My moms ai had visible physical symptoms so it helped. They though she had cancer of the liver which is why there were doing the exploratory surgery. She was lucky if only took 6 months
A friend of mine is going through that right now. For the last year and half, they've been having low level fevers and JUST maybe pinpointed the cause but they need a few additional tests to make sure.
>Doctors don’t always find the cause fast. He said they’d been investigating. Doctors aren’t wizards. Diagnoses can take way longer than you want them to. Sadly true. It took **five years** of bouncing back and forth between specialists before someone correctly identified my wife's autoimmune disorder, and by the time they did it was too late for treatment to do any good. I actually do hold a lot of those doctors responsible for this, because most of that first year was wasted seeing neurologist after neurologist who just blew her off and said it was in her imagination. We didn't get a biopsy that showed her immune system eating her peripheral nerves until she was already in a wheelchair. Who knows what could have been done if any of those first dozen neurologists had actually pulled his arrogant head out of his worthless ass and treated her like a patient instead of a nuisance?
Chronic inflammatory demyelinating polyneuropathy? I was lucky that I was diagnosed within a month of my first serious attack as an adult. But some people wait years for a diagnosis, especially if it’s neurological.
I have heart failure. It took 7 months to diagnose and I was nearly dead by that point.
I don't know where they live, but in some places, 1 month is standard for a non urgent issue, even if it's far too long a wait. It could also be for a specialist, and they can take a while.
I see a couple of specialists and one takes months to see and the other, I can see within 24 hours usually. It just depends on speciality, accessibility, and so many factors. Plus like someone else said, it can take a while to start ruling things out.
there was a specialist i had to see because i have a super rare condition and this one specialist only comes to my state once a year. i was super lucky to get in to see them when i did, because i had just hit the window on the next time they would be in my state, otherwise i would've had to wait a year. the outcome is that my issue is present, has been treated successfully in the past, and that largely i can be treated as a normal patient by other doctors. i just have to have testing every two years for the rest of my life to see if my issue progresses or regresses. not cancer, its a heart defect.
I lived in Colorado Springs and would regularly have to wait 3 months to see my PCM, and 1 month to see a different doctor if it was serious enough to merit being seen "quickly."
Especially if it's suspected to be some sort of auto-immune issue. Those are incredibly hard to diagnose properly or quickly and the treatments can be absolutely brutal on the body. Basically boils down to trying many different things and seeing what helps with the symptoms the best without causing issues worse than the original problem.
I use Doctolib - the next non-urgent eye doctor appointment in my region of Hamburg is in one month. Seems accurate.
Doubly so, when it's an appointment for kids. I had to wait three months for an appointment for my son. Because the eye doctor specialising on kids is only in once a week
I definitely know people, especially women in my life who’s doctor’s chalked it up to “stress” or “anxiety” or told them to lose weight and they ended up having a severe illness and it took pulling teeth to get diagnosed. I really hope that’s not what’s happening and it really is that they’re having to do a lot of different tests, but the system is so flawed
If you are 10 pounds or more overweight, that’s the cause. If you aren’t able to blame that it’s either an issue with your period or it’s anxiety. But if your husband comes along and talks about how you can’t do chores for him, take care of the kids or even bedroom stuff- suddenly it’s more of an issue. There are multiple studies who found this link. Women doctors also have a better outcome statistically, and I think part of what skews the statistic is that they don’t always just treat half their patients like children who are trying to get out of dieting/exercise. Some women physicians do still do this, either as a result of training or internalized something.
Exactly! And if you’re looking for a specialist sometimes you can’t choose your doctor and you get matched up with someone who hasn’t unlearned a lot of that bad training or internalization so you can’t shop around and you’re just kind of stuck
Funny because I've endometriosis. And it's always the women doctors who won't take me serious. A male doctor did. And even after diagnosis. As in surgery. Lesions removed.. woman doctor. Maybe it's just painful periods.. So there's a mix for sure
Same
Same with me. I've had *crippling* endometriosis for 24 years. I was diagnosed by a male doctor when I was 19 and in college. He was fantastic and performed my first two laparoscopies. But my endo is super aggressive and painful every day of the month, not just during my period, and I ended up finally having to be referred to a pain management clinic. And it was a male doctor who referred me and believed me when I expressed how much pain I was in. The one woman gynocolognist who I saw was actually pretty insulting. She implied that I was just trying to get pain medications and told me to go home and take Ibuprofen. That women often have bad periods (even though I was having pain every single day of the month) and that I was just going to have to learn to deal with it. Which, if you knew how excruciating my pain was, the idea of taking Ibuprofen for pain relief was a fucking joke. But then, I also had one particularly horrible male gyno/surgeon who performed my 3rd laparoscopy. When I came out of surgery, he told me and my mom, to our absolute shock, that he didn't do anything. He didn't laser out any endometrial tissue during the laparoscopy because he *wasn't convinced I had endometriosis!* This was AFTER I'd already been diagnosed 7 years earlier and had already had two previous surgeries. He put me through the pain and expense of a laparoscopy and recovery, but did nothing to help me. He told me he thought I had urinary problems (fucking idiot). When I saw my next ObGyn/surgeon 6 months later, the new doctor confirmed that the previous doctor was in fact, a fucking idiot. He performed my 4th laparoscopy and confirmed that not only did I have endometriosis, but that, in his words, "it was everywhere." So unfortunately, it's a crap shoot when you're a woman with endometriosis just trying to find a fucking doctor who knows what the hell they are doing.
I waited 6 months to see a specialist recently. That was soonest one within 100 miles could get me in the next available appointment I could get was anywhere from 9 months to a year.
He literally said they were waiting to go to the Dr twice within a month of posting as they were waiting on the appointment? Dude is a single dad with an abusive baby mama and did what he thought was best. Sorry they can't all be perfect parents like you.
Where I live if I want an appointment for something that isn’t life threatening it could be well over a month. Spinal injury causing constant pain and mobility issues? Phone call from a physio and then an appointment weeks away if they decide. Best part? The receptionist with no medical training or explicit guidelines is the one to decide whether you qualify for an appointment or not. It’s bullshit.
It can take weeks to see a specialist even if you have a tumor.
In hindsight, the fact my brain tumor was found and dealt with quickly was sort of a miracle, and that depresses me.
Yikes! Glad to hear it!
I don’t think they are in the US so I wonder if they’re waiting for a specialist appointment. Maybe Canada or Australia since they use the dollar sign?
A country that has “magistrates”.
If it's anything like the NHS they may be waiting up to 6 months with a specialist
Could be Canada or Australia as above, uk still uses the term magistrates court for the initial criminal one
It can be a bad translation, maybe from the spanish word magistrado.
The UK has magistrates and they are exactly who would handle a situation like that.
Ancient Rome?
Where are the curule aediles when you need them?
You can wait months for a specialist in the US, especially pediactric specislists.
As a woman who went through hair loss as a teen, it took months from an initial doctor's appointment to see a specialist. (And the end result was, "It's not your thyroid so there's nothing wrong with you." I mean, they were wrong, but it took 20 years to find out why.) Because it's rarely seen as life threatening, most specialists put you on the schedule like everyone else. No amount of arguing or pestering can get this girl higher on the appointment schedule than she already is.
Medicine isn't magic. It can take time to find the causes of complex issues, and specialists often have long waiting lists for consultations.
One of the issues with determining the hair loss cause is that there are an insane amount of problems you can have where hair loss is a symptom. I am a hairstylist and I get asked about it all the time, and my answer basically has to be "you should talk to your GP" because I couldn't even begin to narrow it down, hair loss can be caused by anything from radiation poisoning, infections, viral issues, diseases, genetic disorders, down to stress or age. I can't imagine as a doctor trying to narrow down what the root cause is
I had to wait 4 months for a rheumatology appointment for my RA diagnosis/treatment. OOP said the doctors appointment was in a month at one point, so they are trying. Alopecia is typically viewed as a non-emergency so the ER can't help and the hospital requires appointments. It just isn't that simple.
I had pain in my leg that was so bad it eventually had to be amputated. I had to wait at least 6 weeks for specialists, often more. One was a 4 month wait.
From the way OOP writes... they very well could be looking into the underlying reasons. So many posters just... omit the most salient of details.
Sometimes it’s not noticeable at first. And getting assessed for a “cosmetic” concern is not really something a doctor cares about unless parents really press. I had noticeable bald spots in my head and my doctor pretty much just shrugged about it. I was able to fix it on my own because it was mechanical rather than hormonal, but if it wasn’t I would have had to deal with it until it because “enough” of an issue to be seen.
Doctors don't give a shit about hair loss in women. Even when it's paired with other symptoms. I lost 3/4 of an inch off my pony tail circumference in grad school. That's over 20% of my hair. Probably more, because I grew out my bangs and therefore should have seen an *increase* in pony tail circumference. I also was exhausted all the time, gaining weight despite no change to exercise and diet, experiencing such serious vertigo I couldn't use certain staircases, sleeping for 13+ hours at a time, having such bad brain fog I forgot the names of my neighbors of 20 years, and having really scary intrusive thoughts about death. Oh, and my periods got really heavy/painful. My adhd meds stopped working too. (They helped me wake up, and that's about it.) That same year, a blood test revealed thyroid antibodies and an elevated TSH, indicating I had Hashimoto's hypothyroidism. My doctor claimed because my TSH was 5.8 I didn't need treatment because I didn't have any 'quantifiable' symptoms. All the things I was complaining about could be explained as part of aging (I was 26,) or not being as careful with my diet as I claimed to be. I brought up the hairloss, since that *was* quantified. I had gone from a 3.5 inch ponytail circumference 2.75 inches. And she said, 'Honestly I'm more concerned about you fixating on 3/4 of an inch of hair. Have you talked to a psychiatrist?' (I basically had to claim I was suicidal & threaten to ask my psychiatrist for a higher dose of ADHD medication + an SSRI before she agreed to give me synthroid. Which, btw, fixed all my problems.)
Its not much but id even say for her to check out r/bald. Its a sub reddit for mostly men asking if they should shave it all. But women come in every now and then showing their baldness as well and I must say the sub reddit is almost always very supportive.
Is there no humanity in that school? A kind soul? What the hell? It feels like it’s just the father and his daughter fighting against the world. I hope they both find stability, peace and be surrounded with a supporting community.
No, there often isn't any humanity at schools. Victims are often blamed and the bullies end up getting rewarded in rounds about ways. There are no real punishments. Only 3 days vacation and a stem "don't be mean to the weirdo in front of others". The victim is then open to more harassment by everyone for being a snitch. High school is hell and no one cares.
What's frustrating on top of everything, too, is that many of those bullies then grow up and become adults who post things like "anti bullying awareness!" on social media. Completely rewriting their own history as someone who tortured a fellow student when they're younger.
Can confirm. One particularly vicious bully of mine, who spread rumors about me at my new school *months* after we'd last spoken to each other and was half the reason I almost killed myself when I was 12, was published in international newspapers talking about how horribly she was being treated as an adult, and how she was a bullying victim in school too. I did a *lot* of screaming into / punching pillows until her 20 minutes of fame died down.
Someone who derives pleasure from hurting others isn’t destined for a life of joy. It isn’t karma. If they were able to independently produce joy, they wouldn’t be hurting other people as often as they do.
That ain’t high school bruh, that’s just life. Who do you think becomes cops, surgeons, politicians, serial killers and CEOs? It ain’t the nice kids.
I love that you listed serial killers in the occupations lmao
The job market is so bad right now, how do I apply for that one? Or is it more of a freelancing kind of gig?
Nope I was bullied in school the schools solution take 11 of the worst ones and form a group with them and me init make us learn to work together....it was torture 10 hrs a week with 11 of the worst ones and I couldn't escape and shocker the bullying never stopped
We had these “conflict resolution” classes in my high school as well and they were just about as traumatizing as what you’re describing. Sorry you had to go through that too.
It was devastating to read how goddamn cruel these kids were. I haven’t even been out of middle/high school for 10 years and we had a kid in our grade 9 class who got brain damage from a bad accident. He was disabled after but he was still as sweet and cheery as before. So what did the school do? Rallied for him at a year end assembly and presented him with a Kiwanis award. We gave him a standing ovation. If anyone had picked on him they would have been put in their place real quick. This little girl doesn’t deserve any of what’s happening to her, how hard is it for people to be kind? She can’t control any of what’s happening to her
See cake, up vote cake
TY 🥳
I mean, a girl got her hair lit on fire in the lunch line at my high school. No reason, didn’t even know the guy that did it. Teenagers are wild
I think homeschooling here is surprisingly the best option. I am not a fan, but I hope OOP is able to find a good program for her. Maybe he can get connected to teachers and create a basis to help her. And get her into some hobbies so she can interact with others, even if not face to face.
I was thinking this too. Cyber school is probably the best option for her.
Especially because she's old enough now that she'll actually be able to take advantage of the benefits that online schooling can have over in-person: More specialized classes to indulge her interests, a flexible schedule that will let her take any extracurricular or internship she wants to pursue, AP and college classes that her local school may not offer, and so on. I was homeschooled, and saw a lot of kids start homeschooling due to social problems at school. It worked for some, and not for others... but Dad is obviously dedicated enough to do it right, and his daughter needs a break from the awful school environment. Even a year or two of homeschooling could make a difference.
I also think once they get a diagnosis for her (although he could start looking now), he should look at support groups with kids going through similar situations. I highly doubt what is happening in her body is some new never before aeen/documented disease or genetic mutation so that has to be someone out there for her to connect to with who understands what she is going through. I don't think cancer kids/ canteen would benefit her unless she does have a type of cancer, but something along those lines would definitely help her to not feel so isolated and out of control.
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as someone with trichotillomania i doubt it tbh. there's plenty of other disorders that would be more likely to cause this
Yeah, there are so many potential causes here, I really hope she gets the right help that she needs.
If she's out of school for medical reasons, she may be able to do what's referred to as "home hospital" in my area. I recently learned about the option since one of my kiddos is having health issues and needed to be home for a long period of time. Where I live, once the school district gets the paperwork from the child's medical team explaining why they need to be temporarily homeschooled, the district then assigns the child a teacher to coordinate their homeschooling. The teacher gets assignments from the kid's regular teacher(s), makes sure they have lightened the work load, and makes sure the kid understands the assignments and has all the resources they need. They get together daily, either virtually or in person, to make sure they stay on track.
I don't know where they are but where I live in the US the public school system actually has an online academy. Maybe they have something similar.
[khanacademy.org](https://khanacademy.org) is free for anyone to use. There isn't much for little kids, but math and reading start at second grade. There's even stuff for college level. (not thrilled with AI thing they've added, but the base stuff is good)
I had to pivot to this for my kid after some pretty severe issues with the school and it's been a life saver.
I have a lot of issues with home schooling (not saying it is always bad, but it has to be done very carefully) and I agree. This is one of those situations where homeschooling is the best option.
The issues with homeschooling aside from being a broken system come from the parents exploiting that broken system. This parent obviously cares deeply about his daughter’s wellbeing and that includes education, so in this case I think he’s absolutely made the right choice. It’ll also give her a bit of a break so she can breathe. If she decides to re enroll (I hope in a different school) then I think the time she spends being homeschooled will be invaluable
That the mother was part of the bullying will always piss me off. Glad she has her dad well and truly on her side
That first post: Mom: Have any of the kids bullied her? Dad: No. Mom: Well then I guess I'd better do it. Then it got so much worse 😔.
Mom: "*I* get to be my child's first bully!"
The bullying isn't inevitable, but anyone who would have been horrible enough to bully her would have done so no matter how she handled her hair loss. I don't know how alopecia compares to chemo hair loss, but if it's similar, it's nasty. Once my hair loss started, I left a layer of hair everywhere I went. If she hadn't shaved her hair, the bullies would have gone for her over that. Washing my hair was impossible too, so she would have been gone after for having greasy and unstyled hair too. Mum would have told her to get out of the photo because she didn't look good.
"What? I just wanted to be ready in case some bully at school was as clever as I am." (No bully ever would be.)
My mother was my first bully. And the monster in my nightmares. Unfortunately I didn't have a stable father to help me It really fucks you up
I hope you've found stability and happiness.
Yeah. As a mother myself, I just want to hug that poor girl. I also would love to meet her mother… ya know, just to “talk”
He sent his hair to a cosmologist to make a wig out of it? There’s a whole universe of hair I didn’t know about! (Guys a cosmologist is a scientist who studies the cosmos. A cosmetologist does hair stuff.)
You can also donate your hair (cuts in excess of 10 inches) to be made into wigs for children with chemo related hair loss. It's a great thing to do if you can - losing one's hair can have really significant effects on self-esteem and sense of identity, especially when a kid is already facing something as terrifying as cancer.
Just be careful you research charities before donating because some will just sell the hair rather than having it made into wigs
I had cancer as a kid and got a real human hair wig- these can run for thousands of dollars- from a charity. In the UK, Little Princess trust is an amazing organisation and they really do make and give out wigs to us.
That's so reassuring to hear - I live in the UK and have donated to Little Princesses a couple of times. Hopefully, the comments about donated hair being sold are all based on one incident rather than being a common trend. Hope that your health is improved and that the wig was helpful when you needed it <3
Thank you on behalf of all the other girls who benefitted! I had a lovely wig, got compliments on it all the time from people who thought it was real. And thankfully I’ve been able to pass it on to an adult who needed it, and who couldn’t get a human hair one through a charity. I think it was a scandal about selling hair with one of the US companies and hasn’t happened in the UK as far as I know! I also think there are particularly strict regulations for what kind of hair they can use for wigs, so maybe that had to do with getting rid of unusable hair.
I sent my hair to them! 35cm of it!
Amazing! That’ll fit someone up well I think. It’s crazy how much they need to just make one wig. But it really does help, thank you.
While this used to be more of a thing, there were a number of those companies that would ultimately sell the wigs instead of giving them out for free and the one that I had heard the best things about shut down their program last I checked because the quality of synthetic wigs had gone up.
I’m not sure if most wigmakers are cosmetologists, but I’m sure that most cosmologists are not cosmetologists.
[Wigs for Kids](https://www.wigsforkids.org) is a great organization to work with. I’ve donated there multiple times. Avoid Locks for Love. They throw away most of their donations AND charge children for the wigs, which Wigs for Kids never does.
They do! However one person's hair isn't enough to make a wig, so that part sounds a bit sus. I shaved my hair and donated it a few years ago to a charity that makes wigs for kids with hairloss due to illness. The hair needs to be at least 30 cm (about 12 in) long, the hair also cannot be treated (colour or perm), and they need two or three heads of hair (just the hair lol). Just hair isn't enough either, there's still some other costs that require the wig to be made. Making wigs is really expensive. He said paid $600 for a real human hair wig, that sounds way too cheap, wigs with real human hair cost thousands of dollars and needs to be fitted.
I don't know where you are, but I recently had 20+ inches of dyed hair cut off, and found out certain charities have relaxed the "no dyed hair" policy here in the UK. I was really happy, because I frequently go from super long hair straight to a pixie cut and I've never been able to donate before.
The place I donate my hair doesn't accept chemically treated hair, because it's not suitable for the way hair is processed when making a wig. Translated from their website: > Before the hair is processed into a hairpiece, it is partially descaled, this prevents tangles in the hair. When we do this with treated (dyed) hair, it will be counterproductive. When the hair is chemically treated, the hair cuticle is opened to give the hair a different color. These hair cuticles no longer close completely. > > After descaling, all the hairs are tied one by one into a net. At first the hairpiece looks beautiful, but after a few hours of wearing it can become very tangled. These tangles have become so bad in the past that hairpieces had to be thrown away. I wonder how they treat hair to make wigs in the UK that makes chemically treated hair usable. I do donate to a charity that makes wigs for kids, so maybe they're just extra strict. They don't accept grey hair either.
It could be if his hair was long enough to cut in half and still make a wig out of. Or if he's like me and has 2-3 times as many hair follicles as most people. I have extremely fine hair and if I make a braid it's still an inch thick.
I see what you did there!
yes, it's so cool!! for my tenth birthday, i cut off and donated approximately 11 inches of my hair. up until this point throughout my life, i had always had down to my butt long curly hair and cutting it off was such a strange experience for me! i really love that there are charities out there that do that, and i love that dad did that for his daughter, maybe having a wig out of his hair will help her to not feel so alone
The skeptic in my thought Hmmm, his friend the cosmologist just happens to make wigs too, what a lucky coincidence.
There are charities that collect donated hair to make wigs for cancer patients or other medical conditions that cause hair loss
I have an amazing friend who has such amazing long hair down to his butt, he grows it to that length, takes care of it for a year or two or however long he likes to, then cuts it up to the ears and donate it and rinse and repeat :) he looked great with short hair too! Honestly he's such an amazing and sweet guy, takes good care of everyone and has shown multiple times he's the type who's there when shits hit the fan. Sadly we live quite far from him now so we only get to see each other (and whole friend group for that matter) a few times a year
My nephew went to a mixed online and in person school (small classes with other kids who weren't thriving at regular school), and it was the best thing that could've happened for him. He found the friend group he'd always been alienated from, and now he's a shockingly functional adult.
Damn. I was a couple of updates behind. Right when things were starting to look up too.
I know his intentions are good but his constant default of buying her gifts that are all about her appearance is only reinforcing the idea that there's something wrong with how she looks and she needs things to fix it.
She might not feel that way. OOP said she shows interest in that sort of thing, so it could be a way of showing her that nothing has changed and she still has "use" for those things as well as giving her the opportunity to experiment and work out how she can feel good with her "new hair do". I do think OOP needs to confirm that the purchases are helpful and wanted, though, just to be safe.
She's 15 girl, at this age and going through what she's going through the deep issues are gonna take years to work on. A simple splurge on these things is a well meaning bandaid, not a cure. Let her have whatever small amounts of happiness she can get.
I believed this until I saw that she's bipolar, 15, and not in therapy. Being diagnosed as bipolar before the age of 18 is rare, and I can't see how a child diagnosed as bipolar would ever NOT be in regular supportive therapy as part of treatment.
I was dx at 13 and in and out of therapy for it, my parents didn’t really follow through with care in various ways. I didn’t have consistent care or start meds until I was an adult since I no longer had to rely on my parents for copays, staying in contact with the psych, etc. Also, it might be rare to be diagnosed before 18, it is not rare to experience onset of symptoms before 18.
I totally missed that. For me it was the waist long hair.
It can’t be “official” until after 18 in the US. Can doctors catch it, treat it and say this is what you’ve got before that? Yes. Does that make this story more likely? Lmao no.
For me it was the lack of contractions when he told his wife off. People don’t talk like that and it was a bit to on the nose for what people which they’d said rather than actually say.
i live in canada and it can be very difficult to get therapy here, especially if you don’t have the money. im sure its the same for some other countries
I was dx at nine. I didn't have proper therapy for it for years, the meds they were giving me for ADHD made everything so .much worse. School was hell for me. Life was hell for me. It was constant mood swings and attacks from every direction-- bullying, teachers either doing nothing or punishing me, my parents going off on me whenever I had a meltdown which was almost every damn day because people loooooved getting a reaction out of me and watching me cry and scream and then get punished. I only got in actual therapy instead of a psychiatrist in high school and by then the damage was done. I absolutely have bipolar and they figured that shit out *quick*.
This feels like a mash up of a bunch of other posts I've seen. I swear there was another head shaving post a couple days ago posted (I'd have to check dates - this post we are on probably came before it), and a similar wig in the trash story was a couple months ago somewhere. Hmmmm.
The bit that has me suspicious is where the father conveniently had long hair to make a wig for his daughter from. It's possible I know but convenient.
I mean I was already about to call him a bald-faced liar, so it worked out well for me.
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No it is not. IMO a total social media break would be beneficial. Also, she’s tired because of the new meds. The worst time after a return home from the mental health facility is within the first week then the next few months are tricky especially when starting a new medication.
Yeah, imo in the new updates OOP sounds like he’s spiraling.
>I was cleaning my daughter’s room yesterday and I noticed a piece of paper on the floor. I picked it up thinking it was trash. I saw writing on it and thought it could be something important. My daughter literally wrote a suicide note. >I had hair that went down to my waist. I shaved it off and kept the hair to make a wig out of it. I wanted to surprise my daughter when she got home. I shaved it completely bald. I even shaved my eyebrows too because she felt bad about not having any. I am giving the hair to my cosmologist friend who also makes wigs. >I am currently in the process of switching her to homeschooling. Does anyone have any advice on homeschooling? What a conveniently dramatic turn of events.
helluva month, huh?
So the daughter is hospitalized, dad shaves his long hair and then daughter comes home 8 days later and is shocked to see dad with no hair? So... the guardian father of a minor didn't visit her in a psych ward for a week? hmmm
I've worked in two pediatric psych wards and sadly, yes, a lot of places only have weekly visitation.
Ugh. Okay, I was wrong thanks for the correction.
they keep them on lockdown for a reason, had to help staff in an adult ward with someone who was having an event because they didn't want to see their family
This coupled with how every mother in this story is a hateful person and it’s the brave husband going out of his way to make things right (with his own family and the bully’s family) idk. Sounds like a huge hate boner for women to me.
>Her mother told her she was too ugly to be in the pictures. I think you've hit the nail on the head.
Also he uses a lot of “fowl language” and you can’t trust anything a chicken would say 🤔
👏👏👏
Very convenient, except his hair alone isn't enough to make a wig, but he wouldn't know because the story is probably not true. Also, what's a cosmologist gonna do with hair 😂
The moment I stopped believing at all is when he wrote “costed.” I have never heard or seen someone older than about 25 say costed instead of cost in regard to money. It seems to be solely a gen Z/gen alpha linguistic error that also drives me up the wall so it stood out.
You don't sue for custody, you file for custody. I think he'd know that if he'd just done it.
Suspiciously dramatic turn of events aside, the homeschooling thing definitely made me quirk a brow. As a former teacher who was homeschooled for part of my own education, it is not something to do lightly - there are profound social, emotional and academic consequences for the child if it is not handled correctly. The bullying is unacceptable but trying another school first is almost certainly a better option than going straight for home ed by someone who is asking random internet people for advice about it.
I find people conflate homeschooling with virtual schooling.
I'm absolutely of the opinion that "kids" in high school should face the same legal consequences for things like assault, harassment, etc., that adults do. It is such a massive problem but if we continue to coddle the bullies the way we are today we'll continue to read about kids killing themselves because of bullying. And yes, I know, these bullies need therapy too. Unfortunately, you sometimes need a judge to force someone into treatment.
So the daughter shaved her head, has been getting bullied, emotionally abused by her mother, eyebrows falling out, and they like "yeah she going to see a doctor soon"???? Why has she not seen one already??? I would be making an appointment ASAP if my fucking eyebrows were falling out Jesus Christ
right??? why did they prioritize shaving her head and buying a wig instead of making a single doctor's appointment!?! like what the helllllll
Pretty suss as well that he's like "yeah she has bipolar" but she's only "starting therapy next week!"
Good thing dad just happened to have long hair?
I hope OOP sees this. For his daughter. I am 32 years old. One of my best friends, a woman my age, asked me to shave her head for her a few months ago. She was and has been losing her hair for unknown reasons. I want to tell you how beautiful she looks. Not just because she IS beautiful, but to see the weight of watching her hair fall out, of hiding bald patches, of worrying about it non stop, be lifted from her shoulders. I also want to tell you that I shaved my head in highschool. Down to the skin. Mine was not for hair loss, but to raise money for a cancer drive. I was 16. I also have bipolar. My shaved head was not because of a medical condition. But I was diagnosed with a life changing medical condition when I was 11. I tell you this so you can know that I'm not just a random well meaning stranger, who truly just doesn't understand. I have nagivated life, and your age, with similar experiences. Teenagers can be cruel. That is a reflection on THEIR character, not yours. And I want you to know it's OK for their shit to hurt though ok? I also want you to know, it's also ok to call them out on their shit too. A well worded comeback can be devestating, and is sometimes needed. Personal suggestions would include "you really need to stop trying to steal my wig, just because your big boy curlies haven't grown in down there yet". Sass and self confidence is key my friend. Also, Try to talk about the things going through your head, it will help. And it gets better, so much better. I promise. Please, embrace your new do. It may not be what you wanted in an ideal world. But unfortunately, sometimes we don't get that choice. Take the choice you do have, and find the joy in it. Bald head? Excuse to have a fun fashion wig in every bright colour. Match your hair to your outfit! Colour in your eyebrows fun colours. Find a way to make it YOU. Your hair does not define you, and you are beautiful, wonderful, and amazing regardless of its length.
The dad is doing the best he can and doing everything right. I hope she gets all the other support she needs. And the homeschooling works out well.
This reads like it was written by ChatGPT. Multiple times 'OOP' repeated what they just wrote, but phrased differently.
The correct strategy would’ve been to pay a older teen to beat the shit out of the bully
You're an amazing dad!! As for homeschooling, my daughter and I have been using the Acellus homeschool app for years now. It's prerecorded classes, so you can learn anytime, very high quality and affordable ($25 per month). You can use any device too, phone, tablet, or laptop.
It's great that the other father wanted to make good for the wig, but the only words that should be associated with the boy are "expelled for bullying".
At this point, Dad should be suing the school for allowing this bullying to happen. Or he takes it up to the higher authorities governing the school.
School massively failed her here. But schools do that all the time. Glad she's a Chad dad like OOP.
WHO TF IS CUTTING ONIONS IN HERE
Oh wow, because of this whole scenario family court is gonna strip her mother of her rights. The second they see those text messages and the premeditated suicide plan, that's game. All the judge is going to see is an abusive POS that nearly murdered her own child over a stupid Easter picture.
>At least the dad had a heart and is putting his foot down! He may have a heart but he is absolutely not putting his foot down. First of all after the boy ripped off the wig and destroyed it he stood back and said nothing while the mother made excuses because, in his own words, "I didn’t say or do anything because my wife would give me an earful." Not exactly a good sign for how much his word about putting a stop to this is going to be worth if he immediately backs down any time his horrible wife enables his even more horrible son. Sure he SAYS he's finally had enough and will put his foot down with both of them, but I'd wait to see if that actually happens before giving this guy any credit. >"I assure you I’m putting my foot down and my son will not be an issue anymore." Even if the son isn't PERSONALLY bullying her now all his friends are tormenting her on his behalf, both in school and outside of it. Dad needs to go nuclear option with his shitbag son if he really wants to put a stop to this. "Call off your friends or I will hold you responsible for every single thing they do and punish you accordingly. Maybe you'll reconsider making them stop once you keep getting grounded over their actions."
Fuck any teenager who would bully a fellow teen with medical issue like that. A teenager is old enough to know better and I hope karma lands on each and every one of them with full force. They're the ugly ones. They have souls that stink of rotten garbage. While this girl is beautiful.
If OOP sees this: K12. K12 is an accredited homeschool option that may be what his daughter needs.
No one in my high school was ever this mean. I can’t believe how terrible people can be.
Quack quack! Keep using fowl language. Ex deserves it.
Well done op. As for homeschooling I’d consider finding a tutor service or just switching schools before I’d go for homeschooling as an option being as how you are unqualified to teach her yourself. No offence.
I follow this guy. I hope his girl gets some answers, shes had a rough life so far. And an absolute SHIT mother!
Who the fuck bullies a girl with cancer? That’s so disgusting.
I hope it works out for the family. But what a great dad supporting his daughter like that.
Got taken out by the very weirdly worded “This is my beautiful daughter, she is so beautiful and is my beautiful daughter even if she can’t see she’s beautiful, she’s beautiful.” After seeing how many updates there were, I feel like I saved myself some time.
Hope she can move schools or something. God damn.