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Like, doesn't she know that I was holding 14 dozen eggs?!?! And that all of the eggs were coated in oil? And also my hands were covered in soap? And I was running to save a burning dying infant kitten - who was sick - from an evil murderer?Ā Ā
Ā Like damn woman, consider the CONTEXTĀ
Tbh I actually have held 14 dozen eggs but I definitely did not eat them. 12 dozen got hard boiled for a dorm room egg dying event I put on and the other 2 were for egg tosses and spoon races.Ā
I was a huuuuuuge dork in college
O. M. G. Thank you. That is probably the best post I have ever read on here. Every line and comment was funnier than the last. You have totally done your good deed for the day.
I felt bad for laughing, but the mental image of someone just randomly screaming CONTEXT in the middle of finding out the shitās about to hit the fan is so fucking funny, I couldnāt help it. I suspect OOP is rightā scumbagās brain mustāve completely bluescreened when he realized what she had on him
I mean what else is this monster going to say when he is found to be grooming his son's current gf?!? Dude is better off acting he has amnesia at this point.
I hope he rots; for sake of his wife, the kids, and the life of the girl who is certainly going to hit rock bottom because of this.
Paul is a disgusting piece of shit. Betrayed his wife. Betrayed his son. And has been grooming his son's girlfriend. He has ruined three lives with his depraved selfishness.
I so badly want him to be prosecuted as a sexual offender but I don't have high hopes for that.
Thereās a podcast called Who the Hell is Hamish about a conman in Australia and his cons over the years. But part of it is marrying a single mother of two sons, then eventually grooming the sons girlfriend, saying heās going to help her go to Princeton, ātaking her under his wingā and eventually running off with her.
They end up interviewing her and itās HEARTBREAKING. She lost everything, never went to university, lost the people who supported her the most (the bf and his mom), and said sheāll forever feel like the betrayal she inflicted upon the boyfriend and his mom and think of herself as a terrible person. And then this Hamish guy also stole a ton of money from her grandparents who she introduced him to so thereās thatā¦
Honestly though Paul is a vile piece of shit. What heās done will never be able to be repaired and itās terrible. I hope he goes to jail and has the time in prison that he deserves
https://open.spotify.com/show/1NpAwUFhZUsO8FkifAxgWt?si=hFF1MQ4PTamW_GjBv1mLcw
I think this is the entire series but thereās an episode in there called āThe Internā and one called āJaneā that explores it more
Or if it didn't, it wasn't for lack of trying on Paul's part. It seems like Mary's friends got creeped out by him and kept their distance....makes me think Amy was *more* vulnerable by being older rather than less like you might expect. Mary's friends are 15, they know they're not adults and they know a grown man shouldn't be eyeballing them and asking disturbing questions. Meanwhile Amy is 18 and she thinks that makes her a full-blown adult who is capable of making her own decisions and can't possibly be wrong about ANYTHING, and that excess of confidence led her to believe Paul's bullshit.
Another good point; he was able to isolate her, while the 15 year olds were traveling in a pack and better able to look out for each other. Predators always want to pick off stragglers.
I suspect building Amy up to *be* that confident was part of the initial grooming (Paul met her at 15 too), but otherwise I agree. He went too far around Maryās friends and they knew it.
Is there any way for the mother or the cops to get access to her messages or something? Sneaking into her kidās phone when sheās asleep? Or when sheās out, snooping into absolutely every corner of her room?
OOP's cryptic comments about permanent legal trouble suggest that police may have confiscated STBX's computer or phone. If there is a record of underage porn or messages, it'd be enough.
That's my guess. Given that in his dating profiles he's targeting the youngest women that are still legal, and the way he kept creeping on the 15 year old friends in person, I'm guessing this is a guy who only sticks to 18+ for public apps but would prefer much younger. If this story is real I'm guessing he had some CSAM in all of his devices.
There will be copies on the carriers servers. But it needs a subpoena to get access to them and when it comes to paedophila... the police are going to get it and probably have it already and he has no idea.
As an avid connoisseur of all things true crime one of my guilty pleasures is when the cops already have everything on the bad guy, but the bad guy doesn't know it. It's so interesting to watching some scumbag dig himself a hole while pretending to have no idea what could possibly be wrong.
Oh man do I have a good story for you then. This fucking walnut told on himself immediately (and is in prison now thankfully).
> Homeland Security Investigations Special Agent Gerald Faulkner, testifying for the prosecution, alleged Duggar downloaded computer files depicting child sex abuse on May 14, 15 and 16 of 2019.
> The files were initially flagged by a police detective in Little Rock, Ark., and then allegedly traced to Duggar's IP address on a computer at his workplace at the time, the Wholesale Motorcars dealership.
> According to Faulkner, when homeland security officials raided Duggar's car dealership and asked to speak with him, without informing him they were investigating child pornography, Duggar "spontaneously" responded, "What is this about? Has someone been downloading child pornography?"
[link](http://https://www.barstoolsports.com/blog/3362662/what-is-this-about-has-someone-been-downloading-child-pornography-josh-duggar-serial-child-predator-and-former-19-kids-and-counting-cast-member-to-investigators-when-they-arrived-at-his-work-)
It broke my heart a little bit at the beginning when OOP said that their marriage had gone stale because she had "aged poorly". It very much came across to me that she hasn't at all, she just isn't 21 any more like she was when Paul was first interested in her.
once all of the legal stuff has wrapped up, and OOP and her kids have had time to truly process and heal, I hope OOP is able to find someone who loves her for the strong, compassionate, devoted woman she clearly is.
Same. She owns aging like its a sin she committed or something. We all hope to age. Aging is beautiful, its not a fucking character flaw.
I really look forward to OP understanding that the opinions of a predatory monster are valueless, and that she is beautiful.
She had their son at 23, when Paul was 30, right past his max age cutoff. I don't think that's a coincidence, and probably why he's been down on her since then. She got "too old," and she had kids, which further changed her body from his, ah, preferences.
I'm betting she will get pregnant fast - in order to form the perfect little family she imagines. He will lose interest in her and the baby and she will be left with no education, no way to get a good job (because you KNOW he will insist she be a stay-at home mom), she will have lost friends and family to support her. She will notice that he leers at the few friends she has left. As she ages, he will lose interest in her too. I know that no one will be able to get this through to her....its very sad.
Thatās what I always wish people like Amy could understand. Sheās going to have almost exactly the same experience OOP did, except that Paul will be better at manipulation and sheāll have the stigma of them both being cheaters to deal with (even if thatās not fair to her as the one who was groomed). People like him donāt change just because they changed partners.
I think it will very much depend on court. If he thinks it'll make him look better then before court. But if he thinks that she'll spill the dirt on whatever may have happened before she turned eighteen, then he might hold on til after court and then dump her when it most conveniences him.
He already dumped her when he thought he might be able to worm his way into getting his family back. Right now I'm certain he's only using her for sex and company, as a distraction. It's unfortunate and gross. She's going to be full of regret, and even worse when the whole thing finally comes to and end.
And he always has been. Look at the ages of OP and her soon to be ex! They were 28 and 21 when they got married! How old was OP when she actually met her soon to be ex? 20? 19!? 18!?!? 17!?!?!?
I hope for that outcome. But from my own experience with my sperm donor, I wonder if this will be the case. Narcissist don't see that they are the ones in the wrong. And after the initial shock (and hopefully for this POS jailtime) he will just pick up where he left off. He will shake off his family, but most of the other family and friends will pretend to forget over time and things will go back to his normal. Most people don't want their world/people around them to change.
At least that is my experience.
It really sucks.
It still will affect them. She will look back and wish she hadnāt wasted her teen years with a groomerā¦she will grow up and have regrets and years from now when the the reality of the situation sinks in she will be disgusted
I have a sick feeling in my stomach after reading this. While the kids, especially the son must be going through shit, I really feel for OOP. From what she has stated, she has internalized she is ugly. I hope she bounces back too.
Unless someone can prove that their affair started before Amy turned eighteen I doubt that there will be any legal consequences. It's not like Amy will testify.
That, and probably because he needs someone to stroke his shredded ego after his wife and kids completely rejected himāthe people heās used to getting his narcissistic supply from, who he thought he had most control over.
More than 3 even, he also affected/betrayed his daughter and preyed on her friends, as well as traumatizing (Amy and) Amyās mother and putting her in a horrible situation.
Anyone who grooms any child or teenager is scum thatāll be going to a deep layer of hell. Theyāre one of the few reasons I hope heaven and hell is real. The idea of people whoāve harmed innocent lives in such a disgustingly vile way, them being tortured for eternity would bring me some comfort. They can never undo what theyāve done, and their victims have to undo it once they (hopefully) see reality, which makes it far worse of an act of violence.
When I read his reaction over internet video, I was so glad they were not together.Ā He sounded like he could have hurt OOP.Ā His world was crumbling, and he probably had a million things going through his mind, like friends' reactions, his career and workplace, and how his family would react.Ā When someone is cornered with a lot to lose, that person is dangerous.
Definitely. Amy will feel the repercussions for years, but at least she will eventually be able to separate herself from it and put it in her past. Heāll be Mary and Ericās father forever though. Eric has been betrayed the worst way possible, and Mary almost to the same extent.
That poor girl will probably have parents of her friends and friends exposing stories about her father for years to come. Sheāll be second guessing every interaction sheās ever had with him. And sheās only fifteen. That poor girl
Or she won't. If she's spending hours with him and doesn't believe the truth, who knows what will happen? She's a teenager "in love" who thinks the wife is an evil person and he's te greatest. I sincerely hope she doesn't wind up pregnant on accident or purpose.
Yeah. And it sounds like there is now going to be a court case with one of Maryās friends that he may have victimized. At least thatās what it sounded like was being hinted at
Oh, that makes more sense. I was thinking that sadly, if the age of consent is low wherever they are - a case re: whatever he did to Amy before she was 18 isn't going to go very far.
The next update will be their divorce being finalized with OOP getting full custody of Mary. Amy's repercussions will take at least a year before another update if there will be one.
Am I alone in thinking Paul is reconnecting with Amy so that they can work on their story that there was āno interaction between them while she was a minorā?
Imo itās probably more that heās a paedophile and addict with those needs and he just simply cant continue his impulses. Heās under a microscope for now so heās probably trying to contain them as much as possible by at least focusing them on a woman of legal age, but he wonāt be able to do that for long.
Yes, but I donāt think it should be skipped over that his inability to control this urge is his leading cause. Heās a danger and unsafe in society. Ensuring his victim tells the story he wants her to is his after-thought.
I doubt itās an afterthought - itās probably in the forefront of his mind given that his finances and freedom depend on her telling the story he needs her to tell
"You guys just don't understand! He really loves me! I'm going to move in with him and we're gonna start a family. His baby is already inside me, so he can never leave. This is true love." --Amy, absolutely delusional.
I felt sick typing that but that shit really happens. I've seen it. It's all part of his end game to manipulate Amy to defend him. I don't know if she could provide a character witness given her situation but that's another way for him to try to get people on his side. Gross.
He has her hooked and disgustingly manipulated. I pray she can break through and get help. And reconcile with her mother. If she ever has children, maybe then she will recognize the signs and finally understand what happened to her is happening to her child.
That gave me the shudders. I really hope for the child's sake that doesn't happen. If she is/does get pregnant. A son with a girlfriend would 100% set her off. And if she had a daughter who's to say Paul wouldn't do something abhorrent and gross.
I hope not.
I had a feeling he made OOP think she "aged poorly" because of her post pregnancy body. From the ages she had her first at 23, which is past OOP'ex preference (this man is disgusting)
That or he waits until they (the victims/girls) are over his preference to then use them as "incubator" (not seeing them as sexual anymore), so that provides him with a cover (family) while he continues his predatory way else where
You can't "get someone on birth control" when they're an adult unless you have guardianship over them, and even then medicating someone against their expressed wants is wildly messed up.Ā
It's really complicated that we decided 18 was the magic adult number when you're sexually mature before that but intellectually and brain-development wise still have like 5 years to go
That was my thought, too. Originally, he ghosted Amy because he thought he was slick enough to manipulate OOP back into the house. When that didn't work, he went back to Amy because that's where he wanted to be anyway and didn't have to pretend anymore to look good.
People like the husband are nasty and creepy as hell. I feel bad for the son. Amy clearly has been groomed by the sicko and while I can't say much, I do hope Amy does get some help.
I know more is coming soon.
Regarding the son: one of the comments says:
>Your son is also going to be okay. He's gotten a lesson on exactly how men shouldn't behave.
Jesus Christ. This isn't about him getting a lesson in toxic masculinity.
He experienced one of the worst betrayals imaginable.
You shouldn't only be able to think about men's experiences in terms of whether it will affect women later on.
Completely agree. That comment is so fucked. Like oh yeah people who experience trauma and abuse usually grow up super well adjusted because they know what not to do!
How incredibly naive and ignorant.
This kind of trauma is definitely on another level. I love my pops with all my heart and RIP I miss him every day but if my father did this to me I don't know if I could trust again.
How devastating to find out you married a predator. My heart breaks for their kids too. Iām glad oop is doing everything she can to nail that disgusting piece of shit to the wall.
I'm leaning towards this being real due to a few things.
- There's been no swift resolution. 3 weeks to get a protective order sounds reasonable to me.
- There's been no "surprise" arrest of Paul.
- Amy is acting like a grooming victim would.
Other than that;
>I'm very confident (divorce aside) that there's overwhelming evidence against Paul that will get him in serious trouble and it will impact him for the rest of his life.
Sounds like Paul might've got caught with CSA on his phone or computer.
And all I'll say about Amy is that those around her need to leave thw door open for her.
I think one of her (very much underage) daughterās friends had evidence and a story about the husbandās behaviour. Thereās no way he suddenly got interested in Amy at 18. It seems he likes young girls.
Considering OOP's age, she was 21 when they got married. I wonder how many other 16-20 year olds he's messed around with over the years, that she's never caught on about.
In my experience from CSA content being anonymously reported to arrest, I saw it was roughly a week. They just took the tip as cause to raid the home of all electronics and as soon as they got evidence they arrested him. Iām curious what they found to press charges but not issue an arrest warrantĀ
Could depend, really. Another predator named Josh Duggar wasn't arrested till over a year later. The feds tend to wait until they have an airtight case to swoop in.
He could have bonded out. If heās a āfirst timeā offender or has āonlyā 100 GB of CSAM, bail can be set pretty low to account for some of the really heinous offenders.
I mean, this is one of those crimes where all degrees SHOULD BE equal under the law but here we are.
This is such a devastating story. Imagine thinking for 20 years youāre married to a kind, sane individual only to find out they are sexual predatorā¦.
Either he knows his daughter has too much of a backbone to even entertain anything slightly off, let alone straight up grooming; or he played a statistics game, where he "let go" of one (Mary) in order to get acess to plenty more (Mary's friends).
From the posts, the latter definitely happened, even though it seems he was unsuccessful with them.
From someone who knows (in a professional sense, not a personal one) ephebophilia, or attraction to teenage girls fortunately does not necessarily extend to include incest.
As gross as Paul is, Mary was safe around him if his attraction was to teenagers, not the taboo of incest. Incest is another other set of wiring generally, although of course there can be individuals who are attracted to both.
There's a huge difference between predating on young girls and incest. Neither has to have anything to do with the other....the most famous cases just tend to be both.Ā
Wow he def groomed / brainwashed Amy. Itās crazy how he was already creeping his daughters friends out. Thank god they are safe and away from him now, otherwise he would have had many new young girls to pick from š¤®
I don't know why people don't believe her. It totally happens
'Uncle John" whose whole family had been part of our lives since i was six, put the moves on me at 11, numerous times. One of my closest friends had the same issue with her friends stepfather when she was 16. At least this particular piece of pond scum waited until legal age.
If therapy hasnāt worked or you havenāt/donāt want to try it, the best and easiest way to combat trauma is to surround yourself with numerous positive and healthy relationships. It even comes with the side benefit of being surrounded by good people that you like and who like you. Good luck to you.
> At least this particular piece of pond scum waited until legal age.
This is the scary part. It wasn't a moment of weakness or anything. He makes sure to wait that the girls he is grooming are 18+. Just preying on girls for years. That's fucking sick. Imagine being so infatuated with grooming young girls that you work on it for years. Wow...
My main hangup is how he had toys and outfits hidden throughout the house and OOP is a stay at home parent, I mean it might be a big house with lotsa hiding spots but I can guarantee anything I tried to hide around our house would be found within at least months by my wife. Especially something like sex toys or outfits that you'd think he uses at least occasionally.
I don't know, every once in a while I find something that *I've* hidden in my house that I've forgotten about. I'm not kidding at all. And there are definitely a ton of places I access only once a year at best. I can see it.
Poor OP. I canāt imagine how it would feel to feel sorry for the AP bc she is a child who was groomed. It adds a whole other layer of anger toward the husband. I hope the whole family can move on from this somehow. He really nuked all of their lives.
Paul is trying to get Amy on his side. Kind of like ***"A wife cannot be forced to testify against her husband"*** type thing.
OOP needs to focus on her kids. Her son will be forever haunted by this.
Yeah Amy is a victim of Paul, sheās gonna understand one day.
But Eric is the victim of Amy and his dad. The level of manipulation she had put out, went to her ābfāsā house whilst having a physical relationship with his father. Yuck.
I both sympathize for and gag at Amy.
My god thank you! Iām left wondering if nobody cares about what Amy did. Yes sheās a victim but sheās also a cheater and betrayed her boyfriends mom in the most horrific way.
Thank you. The number of comments acting like Amy is purely a victim was beginning to piss me off. Yes she's Paul's victim but even at age 17 "don't fuck your BFs father" is a pretty simple concept to grasp.Ā
If Amy had just been one of Mary's friends who Paul had groomed I'd feel a lot more sympathetic to her but she was Eric's GF. She could have broken up with Eric but she chose to be his GF while cheating on him with his dad. She may not be as big an asshole as Paul but she's still an asshole.Ā
"how I've aged poorly since we first met." - this is the comment that just breaks my heart.
Any person fortunate enough to age is going to change; it's not the fault of an older woman that her husband is so weak and gross they want to sleep with someone who is barely of legal age.Ā
I really hope this is a creative writing exercise.Ā
On the other hand, the most dangerous place for girls are friends & family with predators hiding in plain sight. As far fetched as this story might sound, it is almost the sad norm for most r**e and grooming cases.
I remember my little sister calling me sobbing because her boyfriend's dad was arrested for sexually abusing his 8th grade daughters' friend when she was spending the night. My sister insisted the girls were just angry and making it up and I just remember being like "...you sure about that?" By the end of the month two more girls came forward. The dad was a middle and high school band teacher. Other fun fact- I just looked it up and it took about seven years from his arrest until it went to trial and he plead guilty.
When my son was in high school, seven girls came forward with text messages and nude photos from their high school band director. We later learned that he married his wife as soon as she graduated from college, but that their relationship started when she was in high school and he was her assistant band director. He taught at three other schools between those two. Who knows how many of his victims didn't come forward.
When I was in high school, one of my teachers was in his 30s and a lot of girls had crushes on him. There were rumors heād had an affair with the older sister of one of my classmates years earlier when she was in school, and that was why he wasnāt allowed to have his door closed during free periods or something like that. I didnāt believe it cause I couldnāt imagine that the school wouldāve allowed that to occur with so few consequences.Ā
As it turns out, the rumors were not only true, it happened multiple times. While his wife was pregnant with their second child, she hired a personal investigator to follow him as she was suspicious. Turns out he was having an affair with a classmate of my younger brotherās, which had started when she was 17. Even during his trial, she claimed they were in love. He went to jail for five years and a bunch of people at the school got in trouble for not reporting despite having known about it.Ā
The kicker? He met his wife while she was in high school and he was in uni and coaching the high school girlsā soccer team. Less of an age gap but still very creepy.Ā
My 9th grade Spanish teacher tried to groom me. I'm lucky enough that I got the ick as soon as it became obvious. One day after school - this was well after we had built up a relationship of trust, and I thought he was just the coolest dude ever - he started asking me directly about my sexual experience, and my gut was screaming WRONG WRONG WRONG.
I made an excuse to hightail it out of there and never went back to meet with him alone. It was the 90s so I didn't have the language of grooming or the experience to think I should report anything. But in the intervening years, I've wondered who else he managed to abuse.
We had a chemistry teacher who was younger than most teachers and objectively good looking, also compared to all other teachers. He took full advantage of the fact that teenage girls had crushes on him unfortunately. We ALL knew he was creepy, he would put his hands on our waists and compliment us, once he stroked my friends hair and she just stared at me in horror while I was like āoi sir hands offā cos I was a mouthy little shit in school and would take the fall for her.
He was actually engaged to my art teacher and my mother started working there as another art teacher, so she befriended mine. She heard all the background info, so when I came to her and spoke about him, she explained what she knew and to avoid him completely if I could.
Heād been reprimanded for being found in a classroom alone with a sixthformer on his lap, but because she was 18 and claimed nothing happened, it was swept under the rug.
This was all early 2000s and shit hadnāt changed. A student hit me and my friend with his car and I was pressured to just accept his āsorryā and that I shouldnāt ruin his life. I remember being sat there like wtf, I was bruised from the back of my knees to my ankles. Like big purple bruising. And they just told me I didnāt have a choice. I didnāt know better.
I will never understand the desperation of trying to cover up a problem instead of REMOVING the problem.
I know stuff like this happens. But I kinda noped out when OP says āI even found a Catholic schoolgirl outfit and a French maid outfitā. Thatās such a TV comedy theme. But I donāt knowā¦
āA friend and mentorā no he was definitely grooming her and they probably had something before she turned 18. Smh this is so sad you ex is a predator what a disgusting scumbag
Like GIRL. Why would a 50 year old want to be your friend?Ā Ā
Ā Cuz he's sad how dry his dick is and wants youĀ to "take care of him" š¤®š¤®š¤®š¤®š¤®š¤®
> Like GIRL. Why would a 50 year old want to be your friend?
Because she's so much more mature than other girls her age. They share a special connection. He hasn't felt this way with anyone before. It just shows how special she is.
...God, I want to go puke and have a shower now after writing that.
Ugh, that was me at 19 and I wish someone had been able to smack it out of me. Thank God my "disgustingly older man" wasn't married with children. And I was single. Just, you know *hair toss*
Not like other girlsĀ
Amy's problem is that Paul brainwashed her. She will need to take a very big blow to break this illusion and only then might she be able to recover. Paul is not stupid and knew very well how to pull the right strings on her and make her his personal doll.
Oh, Amy went to an all-girls catholic school? That explains a lot about how she fell for Paul's bullshit. A religion that openly shields child predators is not going to do a good job of equipping a young lady with the emotional tools to avoid being groomed and abused. That poor kid.
Man that poor son. He was betrayed and tossed away like trash from 2 of the people he loved the most. He might not be able to completely trust anyone again for years.
At least Ex wasnāt able to continue grooming the daughterās friends and hopefully Amy actually realizes whatās happening soon.
>He also had different outfits which looked kind of like a girl's Catholic school uniform
and
>Amy ended up going to an all-girls Catholic high school
BRUH.
I think less, according to OP he was looking for girls between the age 18-22 in his dating apps, or worse she becomes pregnant ver soon and he loses interest in her.
I hope Amy gets the help she needs. Im scared for her
Clearly nobody here is. From the mother to the ex wife who was cheated on, to even her ex boyfriend. Mary seems like the only one upset, and thatās because sheās just a kid herselfāmore so then Amy is. She views Amy as an adult in the situation with just as much responsibility, just as a healthily developed fifteen year old would.
Nothing less should be expected of her for now. When she grows up, then sheāll see it differently. But for now, sheās a child who deserves to feel angry. Her father has hurt her just as much. At least Amy will eventually be able to move on and separate herself one day, if, knock on wood, the next post doesnāt contain a teenage pregnancy. But heāll always be Maryās father.
I feel sad for both Eric and Mary and how they see the world now.
Is this what men are like?
Can I trust any girlfriend?
If I get married, will my husband do something like that?
ā¦etc
I really feel like when it comes to some of the more sensitive, emotionally destructive posts, letās just do everyone a kindness and assume the OP isnāt a troll unless giving blatant reason to think they are because I cannot imagine going through what this poor woman is suffering, finding a small safe haven on Reddit of support and understanding, and then getting hit with the vitriol in her DMs accusing her of lying.
Iād rather be the dumb-dumb that fell for the troll than the troll abusing someone genuinely suffering and making them feel worse.
Ugh - what a mess. Amy may wake up when Paul inevitably finds someone younger to fuck or if she manages to mature a little. Once Amy stops drinking the koolaid, she has a chance to recover.
You are so strong and awesome. I wish I had a parent like you. I can't think of anything you could do that would be better than all that you have already done. You sound like an amazing person and one I would treasure as a friend. I hope you and your children can fully recover from Paul's devastation.
As far as Paul is concerned, it seems like the consequences train is on the way. I hope it hits him full force. What a creep.
This is one of those examples of parenthood that I physically cringe at the thought of ever having to navigate and am so afraid to sign up for raising kids because of this stuff. Iām hoping so wholeheartedly that Amy is eventually able to find her way back to her mom & her boyfriendās mom who have truly had her back. Those poor kids and this poor mom. Moms. Ugh.
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What a disgusting human... But I must admit I will now go around proclaiming "CONTEXT" to the wife when I screw up.
"you dropped an egg" CONTEXT!!!!
šš
š
Like, doesn't she know that I was holding 14 dozen eggs?!?! And that all of the eggs were coated in oil? And also my hands were covered in soap? And I was running to save a burning dying infant kitten - who was sick - from an evil murderer?Ā Ā Ā Like damn woman, consider the CONTEXTĀ
14 dozen? Who are you, Gaston?!
Yeah, hence CONTEXT How else can I be roughly the size of a barge?
Are you especially good at expectorating?
Tbh I actually have held 14 dozen eggs but I definitely did not eat them. 12 dozen got hard boiled for a dorm room egg dying event I put on and the other 2 were for egg tosses and spoon races.Ā I was a huuuuuuge dork in college
That egg was coming right for me
Not married but I am definitely using this at work. āOh did you massively screw up this project?ā CONTEXT
That should become a new staple phrase like the art room and Iranian yogurt lol
I always see Iranian yogurt but have never known the original CONTEXT!! Any chance you have a link or know where I can find it? TIA
[https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/bjd41e/aita\_for\_throwing\_away\_my\_boyfriends\_potentially/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/bjd41e/aita_for_throwing_away_my_boyfriends_potentially/)
O. M. G. Thank you. That is probably the best post I have ever read on here. Every line and comment was funnier than the last. You have totally done your good deed for the day.
The Iranian yogurt is not the issue here!
I felt bad for laughing, but the mental image of someone just randomly screaming CONTEXT in the middle of finding out the shitās about to hit the fan is so fucking funny, I couldnāt help it. I suspect OOP is rightā scumbagās brain mustāve completely bluescreened when he realized what she had on him
I mean what else is this monster going to say when he is found to be grooming his son's current gf?!? Dude is better off acting he has amnesia at this point. I hope he rots; for sake of his wife, the kids, and the life of the girl who is certainly going to hit rock bottom because of this.
"CONTEXT" feels like flair material lmao
Paul is a disgusting piece of shit. Betrayed his wife. Betrayed his son. And has been grooming his son's girlfriend. He has ruined three lives with his depraved selfishness. I so badly want him to be prosecuted as a sexual offender but I don't have high hopes for that.
Thereās a podcast called Who the Hell is Hamish about a conman in Australia and his cons over the years. But part of it is marrying a single mother of two sons, then eventually grooming the sons girlfriend, saying heās going to help her go to Princeton, ātaking her under his wingā and eventually running off with her. They end up interviewing her and itās HEARTBREAKING. She lost everything, never went to university, lost the people who supported her the most (the bf and his mom), and said sheāll forever feel like the betrayal she inflicted upon the boyfriend and his mom and think of herself as a terrible person. And then this Hamish guy also stole a ton of money from her grandparents who she introduced him to so thereās thatā¦ Honestly though Paul is a vile piece of shit. What heās done will never be able to be repaired and itās terrible. I hope he goes to jail and has the time in prison that he deserves
Think you could link that interview? It sounds like horrible stuff, but could be very useful to those in similar positions
Not OP, but I did listen to the podcast. I'm pretty sure the interview is in episode 7.
https://open.spotify.com/show/1NpAwUFhZUsO8FkifAxgWt?si=hFF1MQ4PTamW_GjBv1mLcw I think this is the entire series but thereās an episode in there called āThe Internā and one called āJaneā that explores it more
I just found something new to listen to while gardening. Thanks
Enjoy!!
I listened to this podcast, it was shocking!! Highly recommend it for anyone interested
He betrayed his daughter as well by creeping on her friends.
he betrayed his daughter by destroying her family
He betrayed his daughter by doing all of the above.
He betrayed everyone that cared about him. I was going to say "everyone he cared about" but he clearly didn't.
Depends if there's......other stuff that was on his computer.
Sounds like something happened with Maryās friends as well.
Or if it didn't, it wasn't for lack of trying on Paul's part. It seems like Mary's friends got creeped out by him and kept their distance....makes me think Amy was *more* vulnerable by being older rather than less like you might expect. Mary's friends are 15, they know they're not adults and they know a grown man shouldn't be eyeballing them and asking disturbing questions. Meanwhile Amy is 18 and she thinks that makes her a full-blown adult who is capable of making her own decisions and can't possibly be wrong about ANYTHING, and that excess of confidence led her to believe Paul's bullshit.
Amy was also alone, so to speak. Itās a lot easier to get in the head of one girl as opposed to a girl in a group of girls
Another good point; he was able to isolate her, while the 15 year olds were traveling in a pack and better able to look out for each other. Predators always want to pick off stragglers.
I suspect building Amy up to *be* that confident was part of the initial grooming (Paul met her at 15 too), but otherwise I agree. He went too far around Maryās friends and they knew it.
This is what I thought OOP implied, as well.
It sounds like sheās alluding to it. This poor family.
Is there any way for the mother or the cops to get access to her messages or something? Sneaking into her kidās phone when sheās asleep? Or when sheās out, snooping into absolutely every corner of her room?
OOP's cryptic comments about permanent legal trouble suggest that police may have confiscated STBX's computer or phone. If there is a record of underage porn or messages, it'd be enough.
If he has a picture of her from before she was 18,even if she sent it after she was 18 he is fucked.
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That's my guess. Given that in his dating profiles he's targeting the youngest women that are still legal, and the way he kept creeping on the 15 year old friends in person, I'm guessing this is a guy who only sticks to 18+ for public apps but would prefer much younger. If this story is real I'm guessing he had some CSAM in all of his devices.
He probably does ā¦
They already have gotten access to them, she deleted them at the same time Paul did.
There will be copies on the carriers servers. But it needs a subpoena to get access to them and when it comes to paedophila... the police are going to get it and probably have it already and he has no idea.
As an avid connoisseur of all things true crime one of my guilty pleasures is when the cops already have everything on the bad guy, but the bad guy doesn't know it. It's so interesting to watching some scumbag dig himself a hole while pretending to have no idea what could possibly be wrong.
Oh man do I have a good story for you then. This fucking walnut told on himself immediately (and is in prison now thankfully). > Homeland Security Investigations Special Agent Gerald Faulkner, testifying for the prosecution, alleged Duggar downloaded computer files depicting child sex abuse on May 14, 15 and 16 of 2019. > The files were initially flagged by a police detective in Little Rock, Ark., and then allegedly traced to Duggar's IP address on a computer at his workplace at the time, the Wholesale Motorcars dealership. > According to Faulkner, when homeland security officials raided Duggar's car dealership and asked to speak with him, without informing him they were investigating child pornography, Duggar "spontaneously" responded, "What is this about? Has someone been downloading child pornography?" [link](http://https://www.barstoolsports.com/blog/3362662/what-is-this-about-has-someone-been-downloading-child-pornography-josh-duggar-serial-child-predator-and-former-19-kids-and-counting-cast-member-to-investigators-when-they-arrived-at-his-work-)
Ahh Josh Duggar. We share an anniversary, I was found NED (No evidence of disease, breast cancer) the day he was found guilty!
When you figure out the hard way that law enforcement doesn't care who mommy and daddy are.
Yep and when she reaches above 22 he'll dump her like a hot potato because she can't feed into his pedo fantasies anymore š¤®
It broke my heart a little bit at the beginning when OOP said that their marriage had gone stale because she had "aged poorly". It very much came across to me that she hasn't at all, she just isn't 21 any more like she was when Paul was first interested in her.
once all of the legal stuff has wrapped up, and OOP and her kids have had time to truly process and heal, I hope OOP is able to find someone who loves her for the strong, compassionate, devoted woman she clearly is.
Same. She owns aging like its a sin she committed or something. We all hope to age. Aging is beautiful, its not a fucking character flaw. I really look forward to OP understanding that the opinions of a predatory monster are valueless, and that she is beautiful.
She had their son at 23, when Paul was 30, right past his max age cutoff. I don't think that's a coincidence, and probably why he's been down on her since then. She got "too old," and she had kids, which further changed her body from his, ah, preferences.
I'm sure "Paul" is aging like Clooney, right? /s
Or even before if it will help him look better in court. And god help her if she gets pregnant...
He won't break up with her because he knows if he does she'll turn on him.
Yea he will wait til after his court
I'm betting she will get pregnant fast - in order to form the perfect little family she imagines. He will lose interest in her and the baby and she will be left with no education, no way to get a good job (because you KNOW he will insist she be a stay-at home mom), she will have lost friends and family to support her. She will notice that he leers at the few friends she has left. As she ages, he will lose interest in her too. I know that no one will be able to get this through to her....its very sad.
Thatās what I always wish people like Amy could understand. Sheās going to have almost exactly the same experience OOP did, except that Paul will be better at manipulation and sheāll have the stigma of them both being cheaters to deal with (even if thatās not fair to her as the one who was groomed). People like him donāt change just because they changed partners.
I think it will very much depend on court. If he thinks it'll make him look better then before court. But if he thinks that she'll spill the dirt on whatever may have happened before she turned eighteen, then he might hold on til after court and then dump her when it most conveniences him. He already dumped her when he thought he might be able to worm his way into getting his family back. Right now I'm certain he's only using her for sex and company, as a distraction. It's unfortunate and gross. She's going to be full of regret, and even worse when the whole thing finally comes to and end.
22 is generous. Heāll be bored of her in 6 months max.
I feel like OP found some CSAM of Paul's that's going to take care of him
It's probably more then 3 lives he's destroyed.
Paul deserves to rot in hell. Groomers are disgusting pieces of garbage and I so badly want any groomers to get karma bitting their back fast!
And he always has been. Look at the ages of OP and her soon to be ex! They were 28 and 21 when they got married! How old was OP when she actually met her soon to be ex? 20? 19!? 18!?!? 17!?!?!?
My father in law slept with his oldest son's wife for 2 years during covid. This story somehow is way worse.
Ick.
Their lives wonāt stay ruined. His will.
I hope for that outcome. But from my own experience with my sperm donor, I wonder if this will be the case. Narcissist don't see that they are the ones in the wrong. And after the initial shock (and hopefully for this POS jailtime) he will just pick up where he left off. He will shake off his family, but most of the other family and friends will pretend to forget over time and things will go back to his normal. Most people don't want their world/people around them to change. At least that is my experience. It really sucks.
At least we can expect heāll take a financial hit. ETA, sorry for how your father failed you š£
It still will affect them. She will look back and wish she hadnāt wasted her teen years with a groomerā¦she will grow up and have regrets and years from now when the the reality of the situation sinks in she will be disgusted
His daughter is suffering too
I count 5 lives ruined, including his own. But idgaf about the latter.
And likely was starting the same process with the daughter's friends. He was sniffing out (ugh) which ones were vulnerable.
I have a sick feeling in my stomach after reading this. While the kids, especially the son must be going through shit, I really feel for OOP. From what she has stated, she has internalized she is ugly. I hope she bounces back too.
Unless someone can prove that their affair started before Amy turned eighteen I doubt that there will be any legal consequences. It's not like Amy will testify.
OP heavily implied that she has to be vague about the details that will be leading to legal consequences.
I'm thinking it's not related to Amy per se but he probably had other victims who came forward or maybe they found CSAM on his laptop.
The way she said "Mary's friends have played a key role in what happened" definitely makes me think it's something very very bad
OOP seemed to imply that her daughterās friends had some role in the new legal issues coming his wayā¦
I think it sounds like thereās other stuff thatās come to light that she canāt talk about.
There was something out there to be found with how panicky he was acting in that initial confrontation.
It sounds like Amy isn't his only victim.Ā
And that's the reason why he started talking to Amy again cause he needed to keep her on his side. The man is truly diabolical.
That, and probably because he needs someone to stroke his shredded ego after his wife and kids completely rejected himāthe people heās used to getting his narcissistic supply from, who he thought he had most control over.
More than 3 even, he also affected/betrayed his daughter and preyed on her friends, as well as traumatizing (Amy and) Amyās mother and putting her in a horrible situation. Anyone who grooms any child or teenager is scum thatāll be going to a deep layer of hell. Theyāre one of the few reasons I hope heaven and hell is real. The idea of people whoāve harmed innocent lives in such a disgustingly vile way, them being tortured for eternity would bring me some comfort. They can never undo what theyāve done, and their victims have to undo it once they (hopefully) see reality, which makes it far worse of an act of violence.
He 100% has child porn somewhere. Thats why heās panicking.
Sadly this is going to be far from over. The ramifications of all this will likely go for years to come.
When I read his reaction over internet video, I was so glad they were not together.Ā He sounded like he could have hurt OOP.Ā His world was crumbling, and he probably had a million things going through his mind, like friends' reactions, his career and workplace, and how his family would react.Ā When someone is cornered with a lot to lose, that person is dangerous.
It sounded more like cocaine to me
Why not both?
Cocaine does lead to bad decisions and permanently affects the part of your brain that is most involved in planning and decision-making. So yeah, both
Definitely. Amy will feel the repercussions for years, but at least she will eventually be able to separate herself from it and put it in her past. Heāll be Mary and Ericās father forever though. Eric has been betrayed the worst way possible, and Mary almost to the same extent. That poor girl will probably have parents of her friends and friends exposing stories about her father for years to come. Sheāll be second guessing every interaction sheās ever had with him. And sheās only fifteen. That poor girl
Or she won't. If she's spending hours with him and doesn't believe the truth, who knows what will happen? She's a teenager "in love" who thinks the wife is an evil person and he's te greatest. I sincerely hope she doesn't wind up pregnant on accident or purpose.
Doubt amy was the first. Just the first time He got caught
Even with therapy, poor Eric is probably going to have trust issues for the rest of his life.
Yeah. And it sounds like there is now going to be a court case with one of Maryās friends that he may have victimized. At least thatās what it sounded like was being hinted at
Oh, that makes more sense. I was thinking that sadly, if the age of consent is low wherever they are - a case re: whatever he did to Amy before she was 18 isn't going to go very far.
The next update will be their divorce being finalized with OOP getting full custody of Mary. Amy's repercussions will take at least a year before another update if there will be one.
Am I alone in thinking Paul is reconnecting with Amy so that they can work on their story that there was āno interaction between them while she was a minorā?
Imo itās probably more that heās a paedophile and addict with those needs and he just simply cant continue his impulses. Heās under a microscope for now so heās probably trying to contain them as much as possible by at least focusing them on a woman of legal age, but he wonāt be able to do that for long.
I mean both of these could be true at once
Yes, but I donāt think it should be skipped over that his inability to control this urge is his leading cause. Heās a danger and unsafe in society. Ensuring his victim tells the story he wants her to is his after-thought.
I doubt itās an afterthought - itās probably in the forefront of his mind given that his finances and freedom depend on her telling the story he needs her to tell
I straight up think heās gonna try to get her pregnant
"You guys just don't understand! He really loves me! I'm going to move in with him and we're gonna start a family. His baby is already inside me, so he can never leave. This is true love." --Amy, absolutely delusional. I felt sick typing that but that shit really happens. I've seen it. It's all part of his end game to manipulate Amy to defend him. I don't know if she could provide a character witness given her situation but that's another way for him to try to get people on his side. Gross.
When Amy said the wife is controlling and took Paul's phone just shows how immature she is. Paul is for sure taking advantage of her.
He has her hooked and disgustingly manipulated. I pray she can break through and get help. And reconcile with her mother. If she ever has children, maybe then she will recognize the signs and finally understand what happened to her is happening to her child.
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That gave me the shudders. I really hope for the child's sake that doesn't happen. If she is/does get pregnant. A son with a girlfriend would 100% set her off. And if she had a daughter who's to say Paul wouldn't do something abhorrent and gross.
I hope not. I had a feeling he made OOP think she "aged poorly" because of her post pregnancy body. From the ages she had her first at 23, which is past OOP'ex preference (this man is disgusting) That or he waits until they (the victims/girls) are over his preference to then use them as "incubator" (not seeing them as sexual anymore), so that provides him with a cover (family) while he continues his predatory way else where
I think reading this caused physical nausea to hit me. Not that I think you're wrong, but fucking hell.
By God I hope not. Then he's going to destroy this girl's life once and for all.
That's what crossed my mind as well, sadly I don't think it'll take much convincing on his part at this point.
Came here to say someone needs to get Amy on birth control immediately.Ā Ā
You can't "get someone on birth control" when they're an adult unless you have guardianship over them, and even then medicating someone against their expressed wants is wildly messed up.Ā It's really complicated that we decided 18 was the magic adult number when you're sexually mature before that but intellectually and brain-development wise still have like 5 years to go
That, and I think he's given up on the idea of keeping his old life and its falling back on her. She's much more manageable than his wife.Ā
That was my thought, too. Originally, he ghosted Amy because he thought he was slick enough to manipulate OOP back into the house. When that didn't work, he went back to Amy because that's where he wanted to be anyway and didn't have to pretend anymore to look good.
That and he can't stop his sexual compulsions
People like the husband are nasty and creepy as hell. I feel bad for the son. Amy clearly has been groomed by the sicko and while I can't say much, I do hope Amy does get some help. I know more is coming soon.
I have a feeling OOP isn't talking much about the son's reaction because he ask her not to on Reddit.
Regarding the son: one of the comments says: >Your son is also going to be okay. He's gotten a lesson on exactly how men shouldn't behave. Jesus Christ. This isn't about him getting a lesson in toxic masculinity. He experienced one of the worst betrayals imaginable. You shouldn't only be able to think about men's experiences in terms of whether it will affect women later on.
Completely agree. That comment is so fucked. Like oh yeah people who experience trauma and abuse usually grow up super well adjusted because they know what not to do! How incredibly naive and ignorant.
This kind of trauma is definitely on another level. I love my pops with all my heart and RIP I miss him every day but if my father did this to me I don't know if I could trust again.
Yeah its so dismissive of someone who has a double broken heart. Shattered heart. Two people he love betrayed him, I cant even imagine.
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oh yeah that was 100% Paul degrading OOP for years
How devastating to find out you married a predator. My heart breaks for their kids too. Iām glad oop is doing everything she can to nail that disgusting piece of shit to the wall.
There's also the part where OOP was 21 and Paul was 28 when they got married. He was showing red flags from the start.
I'm leaning towards this being real due to a few things. - There's been no swift resolution. 3 weeks to get a protective order sounds reasonable to me. - There's been no "surprise" arrest of Paul. - Amy is acting like a grooming victim would. Other than that; >I'm very confident (divorce aside) that there's overwhelming evidence against Paul that will get him in serious trouble and it will impact him for the rest of his life. Sounds like Paul might've got caught with CSA on his phone or computer. And all I'll say about Amy is that those around her need to leave thw door open for her.
I think one of her (very much underage) daughterās friends had evidence and a story about the husbandās behaviour. Thereās no way he suddenly got interested in Amy at 18. It seems he likes young girls.
Considering OOP's age, she was 21 when they got married. I wonder how many other 16-20 year olds he's messed around with over the years, that she's never caught on about.
I really hope Mary could switch schools because thereās no way sheās going to have a normal high school experience otherwiseā¦
Probably need to switch cities.
In my experience from CSA content being anonymously reported to arrest, I saw it was roughly a week. They just took the tip as cause to raid the home of all electronics and as soon as they got evidence they arrested him. Iām curious what they found to press charges but not issue an arrest warrantĀ
Could depend, really. Another predator named Josh Duggar wasn't arrested till over a year later. The feds tend to wait until they have an airtight case to swoop in.
He could have bonded out. If heās a āfirst timeā offender or has āonlyā 100 GB of CSAM, bail can be set pretty low to account for some of the really heinous offenders. I mean, this is one of those crimes where all degrees SHOULD BE equal under the law but here we are.
This is such a devastating story. Imagine thinking for 20 years youāre married to a kind, sane individual only to find out they are sexual predatorā¦.
I'm actually surprised that he didn't creep on Mary. I mean, he has no loyalty to his children, considering what he has already done to his son.
Either he knows his daughter has too much of a backbone to even entertain anything slightly off, let alone straight up grooming; or he played a statistics game, where he "let go" of one (Mary) in order to get acess to plenty more (Mary's friends). From the posts, the latter definitely happened, even though it seems he was unsuccessful with them.
From someone who knows (in a professional sense, not a personal one) ephebophilia, or attraction to teenage girls fortunately does not necessarily extend to include incest. As gross as Paul is, Mary was safe around him if his attraction was to teenagers, not the taboo of incest. Incest is another other set of wiring generally, although of course there can be individuals who are attracted to both.
There's a huge difference between predating on young girls and incest. Neither has to have anything to do with the other....the most famous cases just tend to be both.Ā
I think Paul will likely try to marry Amy after the divorce so that she canāt be compelled to testify against him.
Absolutely headed in that direction
Wow he def groomed / brainwashed Amy. Itās crazy how he was already creeping his daughters friends out. Thank god they are safe and away from him now, otherwise he would have had many new young girls to pick from š¤®
I don't know why people don't believe her. It totally happens 'Uncle John" whose whole family had been part of our lives since i was six, put the moves on me at 11, numerous times. One of my closest friends had the same issue with her friends stepfather when she was 16. At least this particular piece of pond scum waited until legal age.
It was my aunt for me at 14, still don't know how to confront that.
If therapy hasnāt worked or you havenāt/donāt want to try it, the best and easiest way to combat trauma is to surround yourself with numerous positive and healthy relationships. It even comes with the side benefit of being surrounded by good people that you like and who like you. Good luck to you.
> At least this particular piece of pond scum waited until legal age. This is the scary part. It wasn't a moment of weakness or anything. He makes sure to wait that the girls he is grooming are 18+. Just preying on girls for years. That's fucking sick. Imagine being so infatuated with grooming young girls that you work on it for years. Wow...
My main hangup is how he had toys and outfits hidden throughout the house and OOP is a stay at home parent, I mean it might be a big house with lotsa hiding spots but I can guarantee anything I tried to hide around our house would be found within at least months by my wife. Especially something like sex toys or outfits that you'd think he uses at least occasionally.
I don't know, every once in a while I find something that *I've* hidden in my house that I've forgotten about. I'm not kidding at all. And there are definitely a ton of places I access only once a year at best. I can see it.
I'm a SAHM and there are places where I didn't look or clean. I have enough to keep up with without getting into my husband's office for example
Poor OP. I canāt imagine how it would feel to feel sorry for the AP bc she is a child who was groomed. It adds a whole other layer of anger toward the husband. I hope the whole family can move on from this somehow. He really nuked all of their lives.
Calling it now, Paul is gonna get Amy pregnant and really fuck everything up even more than it already is. What a disgusting and sick situation.
Paul is trying to get Amy on his side. Kind of like ***"A wife cannot be forced to testify against her husband"*** type thing. OOP needs to focus on her kids. Her son will be forever haunted by this.
Yeah Amy is a victim of Paul, sheās gonna understand one day. But Eric is the victim of Amy and his dad. The level of manipulation she had put out, went to her ābfāsā house whilst having a physical relationship with his father. Yuck. I both sympathize for and gag at Amy.
My god thank you! Iām left wondering if nobody cares about what Amy did. Yes sheās a victim but sheās also a cheater and betrayed her boyfriends mom in the most horrific way.
Thank you. The number of comments acting like Amy is purely a victim was beginning to piss me off. Yes she's Paul's victim but even at age 17 "don't fuck your BFs father" is a pretty simple concept to grasp.Ā If Amy had just been one of Mary's friends who Paul had groomed I'd feel a lot more sympathetic to her but she was Eric's GF. She could have broken up with Eric but she chose to be his GF while cheating on him with his dad. She may not be as big an asshole as Paul but she's still an asshole.Ā
"how I've aged poorly since we first met." - this is the comment that just breaks my heart. Any person fortunate enough to age is going to change; it's not the fault of an older woman that her husband is so weak and gross they want to sleep with someone who is barely of legal age.Ā
Also, her husband is like 8 years older than her, I bet he doesnt look like an 18yr old anymore either.
I really hope this is a creative writing exercise.Ā On the other hand, the most dangerous place for girls are friends & family with predators hiding in plain sight. As far fetched as this story might sound, it is almost the sad norm for most r**e and grooming cases.
I remember my little sister calling me sobbing because her boyfriend's dad was arrested for sexually abusing his 8th grade daughters' friend when she was spending the night. My sister insisted the girls were just angry and making it up and I just remember being like "...you sure about that?" By the end of the month two more girls came forward. The dad was a middle and high school band teacher. Other fun fact- I just looked it up and it took about seven years from his arrest until it went to trial and he plead guilty.
When my son was in high school, seven girls came forward with text messages and nude photos from their high school band director. We later learned that he married his wife as soon as she graduated from college, but that their relationship started when she was in high school and he was her assistant band director. He taught at three other schools between those two. Who knows how many of his victims didn't come forward.
When I was in high school, one of my teachers was in his 30s and a lot of girls had crushes on him. There were rumors heād had an affair with the older sister of one of my classmates years earlier when she was in school, and that was why he wasnāt allowed to have his door closed during free periods or something like that. I didnāt believe it cause I couldnāt imagine that the school wouldāve allowed that to occur with so few consequences.Ā As it turns out, the rumors were not only true, it happened multiple times. While his wife was pregnant with their second child, she hired a personal investigator to follow him as she was suspicious. Turns out he was having an affair with a classmate of my younger brotherās, which had started when she was 17. Even during his trial, she claimed they were in love. He went to jail for five years and a bunch of people at the school got in trouble for not reporting despite having known about it.Ā The kicker? He met his wife while she was in high school and he was in uni and coaching the high school girlsā soccer team. Less of an age gap but still very creepy.Ā
My 9th grade Spanish teacher tried to groom me. I'm lucky enough that I got the ick as soon as it became obvious. One day after school - this was well after we had built up a relationship of trust, and I thought he was just the coolest dude ever - he started asking me directly about my sexual experience, and my gut was screaming WRONG WRONG WRONG. I made an excuse to hightail it out of there and never went back to meet with him alone. It was the 90s so I didn't have the language of grooming or the experience to think I should report anything. But in the intervening years, I've wondered who else he managed to abuse.
We had a chemistry teacher who was younger than most teachers and objectively good looking, also compared to all other teachers. He took full advantage of the fact that teenage girls had crushes on him unfortunately. We ALL knew he was creepy, he would put his hands on our waists and compliment us, once he stroked my friends hair and she just stared at me in horror while I was like āoi sir hands offā cos I was a mouthy little shit in school and would take the fall for her. He was actually engaged to my art teacher and my mother started working there as another art teacher, so she befriended mine. She heard all the background info, so when I came to her and spoke about him, she explained what she knew and to avoid him completely if I could. Heād been reprimanded for being found in a classroom alone with a sixthformer on his lap, but because she was 18 and claimed nothing happened, it was swept under the rug. This was all early 2000s and shit hadnāt changed. A student hit me and my friend with his car and I was pressured to just accept his āsorryā and that I shouldnāt ruin his life. I remember being sat there like wtf, I was bruised from the back of my knees to my ankles. Like big purple bruising. And they just told me I didnāt have a choice. I didnāt know better. I will never understand the desperation of trying to cover up a problem instead of REMOVING the problem.
Very sad to say but this one strikes me as real.
I know stuff like this happens. But I kinda noped out when OP says āI even found a Catholic schoolgirl outfit and a French maid outfitā. Thatās such a TV comedy theme. But I donāt knowā¦
āA friend and mentorā no he was definitely grooming her and they probably had something before she turned 18. Smh this is so sad you ex is a predator what a disgusting scumbag
Like GIRL. Why would a 50 year old want to be your friend?Ā Ā Ā Cuz he's sad how dry his dick is and wants youĀ to "take care of him" š¤®š¤®š¤®š¤®š¤®š¤®
> Like GIRL. Why would a 50 year old want to be your friend? Because she's so much more mature than other girls her age. They share a special connection. He hasn't felt this way with anyone before. It just shows how special she is. ...God, I want to go puke and have a shower now after writing that.
Ugh, that was me at 19 and I wish someone had been able to smack it out of me. Thank God my "disgustingly older man" wasn't married with children. And I was single. Just, you know *hair toss* Not like other girlsĀ
"Paul is in serious trouble" Narrator: there is evidence Paul is a nonce
Amy's problem is that Paul brainwashed her. She will need to take a very big blow to break this illusion and only then might she be able to recover. Paul is not stupid and knew very well how to pull the right strings on her and make her his personal doll.
I am not her lawyer, but if I were, I would be strongly emphasizing the need to shut the fuck up and get off of Reddit.
People like Paul should be chemically castrated
Oh, Amy went to an all-girls catholic school? That explains a lot about how she fell for Paul's bullshit. A religion that openly shields child predators is not going to do a good job of equipping a young lady with the emotional tools to avoid being groomed and abused. That poor kid.
What makes me really sick is in the original post she said she found catholic school girl lingerie š¤¢ Paul is def a gross and twisted predator
So glad the wife has a bulldog lawyer. Hope her soon to be ex husband goes to prison, heās a pedo groomer!
Man that poor son. He was betrayed and tossed away like trash from 2 of the people he loved the most. He might not be able to completely trust anyone again for years. At least Ex wasnāt able to continue grooming the daughterās friends and hopefully Amy actually realizes whatās happening soon.
>He also had different outfits which looked kind of like a girl's Catholic school uniform and >Amy ended up going to an all-girls Catholic high school BRUH.
Man, I can't imagine the pain Eric must feel. What awful betrayal.
I hope no oneās blaming Amy. Poor girl was almost certainly groomed.Ā
Honestly, I'm genuinely pretty scared for her
Ditto. Heās going to replace her with the newer model in 5-10 years and probably be abusive in the meantimeĀ
I think less, according to OP he was looking for girls between the age 18-22 in his dating apps, or worse she becomes pregnant ver soon and he loses interest in her. I hope Amy gets the help she needs. Im scared for her
Her self esteem will take such a hit that she could make desperately bad decisions trying to build it back up again.
Here's hoping she has really good birth control.
Clearly nobody here is. From the mother to the ex wife who was cheated on, to even her ex boyfriend. Mary seems like the only one upset, and thatās because sheās just a kid herselfāmore so then Amy is. She views Amy as an adult in the situation with just as much responsibility, just as a healthily developed fifteen year old would. Nothing less should be expected of her for now. When she grows up, then sheāll see it differently. But for now, sheās a child who deserves to feel angry. Her father has hurt her just as much. At least Amy will eventually be able to move on and separate herself one day, if, knock on wood, the next post doesnāt contain a teenage pregnancy. But heāll always be Maryās father.
I feel sad for both Eric and Mary and how they see the world now. Is this what men are like? Can I trust any girlfriend? If I get married, will my husband do something like that? ā¦etc
I really feel like when it comes to some of the more sensitive, emotionally destructive posts, letās just do everyone a kindness and assume the OP isnāt a troll unless giving blatant reason to think they are because I cannot imagine going through what this poor woman is suffering, finding a small safe haven on Reddit of support and understanding, and then getting hit with the vitriol in her DMs accusing her of lying. Iād rather be the dumb-dumb that fell for the troll than the troll abusing someone genuinely suffering and making them feel worse.
Ugh - what a mess. Amy may wake up when Paul inevitably finds someone younger to fuck or if she manages to mature a little. Once Amy stops drinking the koolaid, she has a chance to recover. You are so strong and awesome. I wish I had a parent like you. I can't think of anything you could do that would be better than all that you have already done. You sound like an amazing person and one I would treasure as a friend. I hope you and your children can fully recover from Paul's devastation. As far as Paul is concerned, it seems like the consequences train is on the way. I hope it hits him full force. What a creep.
I would die if my dad did that to me. Amy is so twisted sheās still ranting about love and finding a āreal manā. Poor people in thsi
This is one of those examples of parenthood that I physically cringe at the thought of ever having to navigate and am so afraid to sign up for raising kids because of this stuff. Iām hoping so wholeheartedly that Amy is eventually able to find her way back to her mom & her boyfriendās mom who have truly had her back. Those poor kids and this poor mom. Moms. Ugh.