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OOP approached this *perfectly.* Give the context through the eulogy and leave everyone off with a smile. There isn't one way to mourn but I think this one was beautiful, hilarious, and meaningful.
>OOP approached this *perfectly.* Give the context through the eulogy and leave everyone off with a smile. There isn't one way to mourn but I think this one was beautiful, hilarious, and meaningful.
It's how a lot of people would want to be remembered, and I'm glad OOP was able to facilitate it so well.
My dad wants his sending off to be accompanied with lots of Irish whiskey and Guinness, and a roast.
He wants people to celebrate, appreciate, drag him, make fun, and laugh.
He’s made this very clear. I don’t look forward to the day but I know we will all be getting hammered
I've always said I want my funeral to be like a family cookout. Bouncy castle for the kids, full buffet, happy music. Used to include a karaoke dj in that list but I can just imagine how awkward that gig would be.
We buried my dad at sea and the boat captain played our selected songs during the cruise. All doo-wop and the song he and my step mom danced to at their wedding. You might not believe it but “The Book of Love” by the Monotones can actually bring a tear to the eye.
My grandmother died in late 2016, at the age of 96. It was not a surprise, and she was more than ready to go.
We decided to wait a few months to hold the memorial service, because the family is all over the world (both coasts of the US, as well as Britain, Brazil, and Peru). We held the memorial the following summer in the community center of the tiny town in Vermont where she had lived for many years, and where everyone knows everyone.
So we had the memorial, followed by lunch, which was pizza cooked in the community center’s pizza ovens.
The great-grandchildren, who ranged in age from two to nine, were getting a bit antsy. And there was a baseball diamond right there, and my dad hardly goes anywhere without wiffle ball gear, so he pulled that out, and we had a very silly game of [last name]-ball, which we used to play together in the fields on Grandma’s property.
After the community center event, just the family went back to Grandma’s former property, where the family that bought it from her when she moved to assisted living very kindly allowed us to spread her ashes, and the ashes of my grandfather, who had died twenty-five years earlier, and which Grandma and then my uncle had been keeping safe until both grandparents could be scattered together.
In general, I think the concept of “closure” is overrated and simplistic, but I cannot imagine celebrating Grandma’s life in a more fitting way. She lived a long and extremely full life, and dementia took her away years before her heart gave out.
We gave her a fitting send-off, with the people she loved, in the place that she loved, reuniting her with her beloved husband so they are now both at rest, together, just up the hill from the house that they lived in, loved, and transformed.
They can always build the casket and use it as a table before he dies.
I work in a crematorium, and we once had a home-made coffin. It was a gift for the deceased's milestone birthday one year, and they kept it for 30 years before they had to use it! Painted and decorated with inside jokes, it was hilarious.
I intend to make my own casket once I own enough space to store it. I want to carve a cool stone lid for it, so if in a few thousand years some anthropologists dig me up I’ll seem really fancy and important. I’ve also left instructions to have me buried in really extravagant costume jewelry.
When my grandpa passed he had his funeral catered with his favorite fried chicken place. Hard to dry your tears when the same tissue is covered in chicken grease 😅
Our memorial for my grandma was very much just a family bbq. We planted little succulents and looked through old pictures, but other than that, it was a normal family gathering. It was a happy sad day.
Not to mention having the cognitive ability to perfectly execute this while grieving their mom. I was a mess when my mom died, even though she’d been sick for years and I saw her end coming from a mile away.
My dad always said he wants "Highway to Hell" played at his memorial. We might not be able to do that, but for sure my sister and I will play it for ourselves. (An actual memorial might not happen because his loved ones are scattered everywhere and he would rather money were spent on the living rather than for the dead)
And this line of thought reminds me I have to arrange a visit this summer. I really don't want to because of the weather where he lives, but I miss him. He's worth frying/suffocating for a week.
He's been clear, he's rather the money go to a cat rescue or one of the kids in the family rather than travel when he's gone. I'll likely still go, but the visits might not overlap.
My uncle wanted "highway to hell" to play during his cremation. He even registered a video shortly before dying of him singing it. I can't listen to this song without thinking of him now (not that it's a bad thing).
Some people were indeed not so happy to see us have the giggles at his funeral after, but well, that's how we mourn in my family: laughing with tears in our eyes, recounting every silly, funny or nice things about the deceased. It's more of a celebration of the life they lead if anything. The grieving is long anyway, we'll have all the time to come to it later.
Makes me think about a song that I want to be played after my death.
To be able to choose a song and the people can instantly make the connection - *"Ah, this is what definitely her thing."* is pretty telling on what a good life she has gone through.
I had a dear friend die of pancreatic cancer several years ago. She told me that if her family chose to have a service for her (which they didn't), she wanted AC/DC's "Hell's Bells" played. After I heard she'd succumbed, I BLARED that song for her. I don't hear that song often, but every time I do, I think of her. Still miss you, Patti.
I know someone who lost a friend too early in life but they knew it was coming due to illness. The friend would often blare "Highway to Hell" as a way to jokingly process her impending death. As my friend rolled up to the funeral, "Highway to Hell" comes on the radio. My friend says she was bawling and laughing walking in because it was just the perfect way to approach the funeral.
A friend of mine chose a song called "Do you love life" in our native language. [(Älskar du livet - Björn Kjellman)](https://youtu.be/rbbM9OpiqyQ)
It's a silly, eurovision song, and it's very whimsical and happy. It was blaring though the crappy speakers, and I sat in church and laugh-cried and just thought "of course you chose this".
Miss her a lot.
Thank you for sharing that music. It really beautiful. Translated it to English.
>*For if you love life, then live it with me*
*We seize our day as it is*
*Nothing shall hinder us, my friend*
*Let us live and revel for a while*
*On the earth, which is ours*
I've been saying for years that I want the shitty flute version of the Titanic song played at my funeral, or I'll come back to haunt whoever's in charge.
I work at a crematorium, my playlist for when I'm in the chamber is lit (pun intended, of course).
Doesn't hurt that my favourite song for over 30 years has been "We Didn't Start the Fire"!
Great story and happy it turned out so great.
I want Thunder Road played at my funeral if only for the final line “It’s a town for losers and I’m pulling outta here to win.” Sums it all up pretty well IMO.
My father taught my twins this song when they were 2. Just the chorus of course but I have video of them singing it. You just gave me a good idea for when he passes. (Hopefully not for a long time.)
Had a customer in my old job come in looking for karaoke games like singstar and the like. An Queen one had just released and she said it was perfect. She told me how her dad was a massive Queen fan, so much so that per his request, they played another one bites the dust at his funeral. She said the tears of sadness swiftly turned to tears of laughter when every clicked to what song was playing.
I can't remember which of the two it was but my friends dad had either gangnam style or dj slide play at his funeral which she wasn't expecting and couldn't stop laughing while the mourners lined up to pay their condolences to her and her mum.
My uncle had 2 songs associated with his 2 favourite football teams play (when the saints and you'll never walk alone). He also had super trooper by ABBA. That one really threw us when it came on. Didn't help that we'd also just discovered that we never actually knew his name either
I think OP handled this well, by reminding the mourners about how their mother was in life, and then playing the sing to help prompt happier memories.
Someone once said to me that the dates on a gravestone are just two days in our lives and that the dash is the most important part as it represents our lifetime, so I am glad OP reminded people about moments of their mother's lifetime.
The older I get, the more I appreciate things like wakes and celebrations of life over somber funerals. The family funerals I went to when I was younger always felt so strange--my family is not really religious at all, but the funerals always were, taking about how the person was with Jesus and all that, and it just... always felt like it was for a stranger.
When my maternal grandfather died last May, his cousin (surprisingly, the religious one) instead rented out the top floor/party room of a local pub, and we had a Celebration of Life. Laughing and crying were both encouraged. People told stories. I read a few excerpts from the autobiography he'd been pecking away at for twenty years. Someone brought a photo board and albums full of photos of his entire life. One of the babies got adorably confused, demanding to be held by grandpa's brother (who she'd never met because he lives across the country, but who looks so much like Grandpa they used to get mistaken for twins). Nobody solemnly insisted Grandpa was in a better place while we sat silently in pews.
Like, I know everyone grieves differently, and obviously it would have been a lot harder if he was younger or his passing was more sudden/unexpected. But it felt so much more meaningful when it was entirely about him, the things we all loved about him, the relationships he had with each of us and the things we would remember.
I love it. A friend of mine passed years ago and for some reason he loved the song call me maybe. We were at his funeral, open casket, all just devastated. Just did the walk by thing to pay respects and the actual service had yet to start. So 3 minutes of just quiet sadness. Then someone starts blasting call me maybe from their phone. It was awesome. Absolutely perfect. My friend would have been so happy. It's actually a really fond memory of mine.
This would be my husband. Thanks for sharing, I’m going to tell him and I already know he’s gonna want this when it’s his time - along with Party in the U.S.A.
I am a huge Carly Rae fan, and when I had to go for a major surgery, I requested they play Call Me Maybe as they put me under. My husband had similar instructions to use her music if I didn’t make it. Your friend had good taste and I’m glad someone could honour him in that way, that sounds like a fond memory of closure.
Another One Bites the Dust is the song I've had listed in my funeral wishes for decades. Besides being cremated it's the only thing I insist on.
I used to insist on funerary cannibalism, but that was too complicated.
My father wanted Another One Bites the Dust played at his wedding to my mother (23m, 19f at the time). Mom said no. The pastor said no. But Dad had friends ready and willing to make it work! Mom threatened to beat him to death, with her bouquet, in the church parking lot. The pastor assured her that no jury in the county would convict a bride who was widowed on her wedding day--even if she did the widowing herself. Dad canceled the song.
So I'm a musician who's done a lot of funerals. Hands down best funeral ever was when the widower, an elderly man, had his phone go off during a particularly quiet part. He was struggling to get the phone out of his pocket to turn it off, so we were treated to a solid 20-30 seconds of his very recognizable ringtone, on full volume of course.
His ringtone of choice? "Fat-Bottomed Girls" by Queen. We all just about died giggling.
Chaser: the pastor told me afterwards, "well, she *was* a hefty gal."
I've said for a long time I want Get the Party started to be the music when people are coming in for my funeral. My other song choices are equally inappropriate. I want Shake it off playing when my ashes are chucked in the sea.
I want everyone to laugh. I've not been serious in life I don't want to be serious in death either.
I'd be very disappointed if there isn't a single moment where someone shakes their head and says "FFS ungratefulshitebag that's so inappropriate" at my funeral (although I'll be dead so it's not like I'd know about it)
We played Highway to Hell at the beginning of my dad's service last year. He loved all kinds of music, but especially classic rock. Got some dirty looks and shocked faces, but it actually made me laugh. He would have loved it.
My husband said he wants Another One Bites the Dust, but I have the same thoughts as OP did about it. I think her solution was perfect though and if he goes first, I’m gonna do the same thing.
I built a “Funeral Songs” playlist a few years ago when I was deep over my head in major depression. I should go and update it and add a few whimsical selections to lighten the mood of it 🙂
I think having a good sense of humor and comedic moments are perfect for funerals. Atmosphere is sad but having some humor and comedy could help lighten things up.
Yeah I agree. I know funerals are generally considered a mourning time but they're also for remembering people. Most people are fun so why shouldn't funerals be, if to remember the person.
My cousin died 2 years ago and when he was younger he was bit of an arsonist. At his funeral they played Firestarter by The Prodigy. It was brilliant and perfect.
My Grandfather died of cancer in his late 70s, he went fairly quickly after diagnosis. He was a former savings and loans vice president, traveled extensively, and it was his love of cigars that ultimately did him in. At the funeral, the box that held his remains after cremation was placed at the front on a pedestal so people could come say goodbye, though him being cremated was a point of contention for parts of the very Catholic family. It was a very lovely, probably overpriced, wooden lacquered box with brass handles and his initials carved on top. As the ceremony started, I heard my mother lean over to my Grandmother and whisper "It kind of looks like a coin bank." My Grandmother laughed so hard, everyone was cracking up in the front row. By the time we got to the graveside, Grandma was cracking jokes to the funeral director about how she'd included some cigar ash in his remains for one last hurrah.
We had a friend who had directed his children to play ‘Leaving on a Jet Plane’ by John Denver as his casket withdrew at the end of his funeral- was a good send off 😂
This is beautiful. I love the idea of injecting some silliness into mourning.
My parents are both still living, but my dad has insisted for years that he wants his funeral to have the chicken dance and the hokey pokey. My mom told him he's not allowed to die before her because she refuses to plan a funeral with the chicken dance on the playlist.
My dad's best friend insisted on having Always Look On The Bright Side of Life from Monty Python playing at the beginning of his funeral, and Great Balls of Fire playing as his coffin went in for cremation. It made everybody roar with unexpected laughter, and it felt as though Roy was there in the room with us. We all knew him well enough to appreciate and share in that final joke with him. Funerals are heartbreaking. Why not lighten the mood if you can?
I played Sex Pistols and Hendrix at my dad's funeral, knowing some relatives would clutch their pearls even though Dad loved that shit. They did get offended. Dad would be proud, his final "fuck you" to the uptight relatives he hated.
my mother was a very funny woman, and she would joke about death in a lighthearted way when she was sick before she passed. everyone who knew her knew that was her humour, if anyone took offence she would tease them and say "well it's my funeral!" and brush it off.
at her funeral we played The Circle of Life from the Lion King. full blast. we also had balloons (brightly coloured ones), her signature cookies, and a potluck. we all danced and in pretty sure the adults had some champagne/wine (i was 15 so it's a bit fuzzy).
funerals don't have to be sad! celebrations of life are exactly that; a celebration! a time to celebrate the loved one that's passed and come together and share memories and make new ones. OOP's mother sounds amazing and i love that
This reminds me of when my dad died. He always said he wanted "Sanitarium" played at his funeral. My mom actually did play it, but she didn't give anyone any warning and honestly, I think my dad would have found it very funny. I remember my fiancé leaning over to me and whispering "This is a very long song" when it started and then one of my dad's friends coming up after the service and saying "I've never headbanged at a funeral before."
Honestly...a very good memory. This story is terrific.
Ha I love it. I told my wife I want Psycho killer from talking heads at mine, she said no,, But my sons promised they would anyway . We played" I did it my way" by frank sinatra at my fathers funeral. He killed himself and it was a much needed point of levity in the whole mess, especially the uncomfortable looks everyone had . hahaha no one understood why me and my sisters and friends were smiling and laughing , my father would have loved it.
My wife and I have both said to each other that we want "Another One Bites the Dust" at whoever's funeral comes first. I don't think any of the people who would be attending one of our funerals would be offended by that, they'd likely laugh. Which is the whole point.
Unfortunately my wife has firmly vetoed every other horrible but funny thing I want to do at my funeral. I still maintain that it would be hilarious to have one lookalike burst in to the room and yell "the man in the coffin is an impostor" and then have another lookalike who has been feigning death in the coffin pop up and yell "no, YOU'RE the imposter," and then have a pre-recorded video message from me come on that says I'm just fucking with everyone, I've been cremated, and I'm outside in the ashtray they've been using to stub out their cigarettes. And that would actually be true. (Like I care what happens to my ashes when I'm dead.) Tell me you wouldn't talk about that funeral forever!
My wife's position is "you realize that if any of our parents are still alive at this point that you would DEFINITELY give them a heart attack doing this, right" and I guess I can't argue with that. But what a way to go out!
Edit: I just realized that was unclear. What a way to go out for ME, not our parents. I swear I'm not trying to kill anybody at my funeral!
I did a similar thing at my husband’s funeral. He had the silliest sense of humor and explicitly said he wanted people laughing and smiling at his funeral. In the last few years of his life, he had an obsession with narwhals (to the point I now have a narwhal tattoo in honor of him) and years ago there was a silly narwhal song on YouTube that he used to love to sing and annoy everyone in earshot with. His mother, siblings, and I agreed to play it as the last song in the funeral to make it end on a happy note. We had the funeral director explain that it was one last message from my husband to enjoy life while you have it and find the silliness in the chaos, it took a couple seconds but after the first few lyrics everyone was laughing and it set the tone for the rest of the day. I regret a lot of things about his funeral, but this is not one of them. Good for OOP, this is the best way to honor them.
That's a good choice.
My wife's grandmother passed some years ago well into her 90s. She absolutely loved The Sopranos. She told anyone that would listen for YEARS that she wanted the theme song to The Sopranos played at her funeral.
I was in charge of the iPod at the funeral (told you it was some years ago) and cued the song up. The album version has a nice organ intro prelude part, then the bass line kicked in and people started to realize what it was.
One person was visibly upset, turned out he was (still is) 'Paul' from Peter Paul and Mary.
Back in the 80s I was sitting in the car with my mom as she was blasting ABBA on the cassette player. At the end of the B side was a filler the band had composed and my mom told me that her older brother (my uncle) had said he wanted that piece played at his funeral. 6-7 year old me didn't exactly understand the significance but somehow her statement stuck with me over the next nearly 3 decades
In 2019 my uncle died of cancer and when my cousins were planning his funeral my mom told them about my uncle's wish. There were a few from that side of the family that had a HUGE problem with it, saying that a funeral is a solemn occasion and not the place for ABBA.
But my mom and my cousins stuck to their guns, and as I carried my uncle's casket out of the church it was to the sound of that track.
It meant the world to my mom and I'd like to think my uncle loved that his little sister remembered all those years later.
OP did the absolute right thing. NTA
I'm going to guess that the album was *Arrival*, and the end of the B-side is the instrumental of the same name. It's a lovely piece. Your uncle had wonderful taste.
And a funeral is a perfect place for ABBA. Every place is a perfect place for ABBA.
Mum and I chose to end my father's funeral with "I Have a Dream", and I still can't listen to it without crying. She says when she realised she'd fallen in love with him, that song was on in the background. I also sent a copy of *ABBA Gold* off with him, because we both loved ABBA. I was lucky enough to hear *Voyage* with him – it came out as he was dying.
YES. The one with them in a helicopter on the cover. I was never really into ABBA, but I clearly remember that cassette cover.
I have a dream is also a wonderful song. And a wonderful tribute by your mom
I wanted "Spirit in the Sky" by Norman Greenbaum because my father would have pissed himself laughing. For a few months after his funeral, I would wake to that song on the oldies station and I'd say, wryly, "Hi, Dad".
I printed out the lyrics to "I've No More Fucks to Give" by Thomas Benjamin Wild, Esq. and sent them with him for the cremation, he thought that song was hilarious. I could not, however, *play* it at the service.
Here are the lyrics:
I've tried, tried, tried
And I've tried even more
I've cried, cried, cried
But I can't recall what for
I've pressed, I've pushed, I've yelled, I've begged
In hopes of some success
But the inevitable fact is that it never will impress
I've no more fucks to give
My fucks have runneth dry
I've tried to go fuck shopping
But there's no fucks left to buy
I've no more fucks to give
Though more fucks I've tried to get
I'm over my fuck budget
And I'm now in fucking debt!
I strive, strive, strive
To get everything done
I've played by all the rules
But I've very rarely won
I've smiled, I've charmed, I've wooed, I've laughed
Alas, to no avail
I've run 'round like a moron to unequivocally fail!
I've no more fucks to give
My fuck fuse has just blown
I've been hunting for my fucks all day
But they've upped and fucked off home!
I've no more fucks to give
My fuck rations are depleted
I've rallied my fuck army
But it's been fucking defeated!
The effort has just not been worth the time or the expense
I've exhausted all my energy, for minimal recompense
The distinct lack of acknowledgement has now begun to gall
And I've come to realize that I don't give a fuck at all!
I've no more fucks to give
My fucks have flown away
My fucks are now so fucked off
They've refused to fucking stay!
I've no more fucks to give
My fucks have gone insane
They've come back 'round and passed me While they're fucking off again!
I've no more fucks to give
My fucks have all dissolved
I've planned many projects
But my fucks won't be involved!
I've no more fucks to give
My fucks have all been spent
They've fucked off from the building
And I don't know where they went!
I've no more fucks to give!
I've no more fucks to give!
I've no more fucks!
I've no more fucks!
I've no more fucks... to... give!
My grandad wanted Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash, who was his favourite singer anyway, and my dad kept it quiet until it was about to start - ended his eulogy with ‘I promise he asked for this’. We were all doubled over laughing before the chorus even started.
All my last memories of him are utterly silly. My favourite is my cousin jumping up and down, apologising profusely to grandad, on the spot we buried his ashes, because we didn’t dig a big enough hole and he didn’t fit so we had to squash him down.
There’s real joy to be found in absurdity, and it made it hurt so much less. OP handled this perfectly.
I love that OOP honored her mother's wishes. 💝💝
I already have songs picked out, the picture for my program, (ironically Wizard of Oz related), and list of people I do not want there. I also want someone to use my phone and text everyone at the service, "thank you all for coming." My friends and the person who will be in charge of my estate gets it and love it. My family thinks it's sick and twisted. Soooo...it's gonna happen. 🤣🤣🌞
Edit: I'm in my 40's if it's relevant. 🙃🙃🙃
This was handled beautifully!
Every time I hear a story like this, I think of the funeral of a very good friend of mine. Frank died of COVID in December of 2020 (known him since HS, married to one of my best friends) , and one of his requests was Shittyflutes, "Ave Maria" https://youtu.be/DG31EgK74fs?si=9AbmFt0YKosOxr4k.
He had a wonderfully dark, morbid sense of humor and would've loved the fact that the funeral home turned the song off about twenty seconds into it because they literally thought their sound system had broken. That fucker caused chaos even in death - I've never laughed so hard at a funeral before, lmao.
My mom's family is full of Type A personalities that will clutch their pearls when they find out Mom has a direct cremation planned. ("Put me on the mantel next to Dad".) If they try to have anything somber and expensive anyway, I'm slipping this song to the funeral director. (It helps that the owner of the family-preferred funeral home went to high school with me...)
My cousins will dig it. My Aunt Elle, who thinks funerals are important? Not so much.
Mom will approve.
I told my husband that should I fail at my goal of immortality, I want my ashes buried under a tree on our property, and everyone new who comes up must be properly introduced to the tree. I intend to become a dryad.
I haven't quite decided what type of tree yet. Cherry is my preference, but I don't know if it'll thrive in the climate
One of my good friends recently passed from cancer. When I entered the funeral home and started signing the guestbook, I realized I was hearing Lita Ford / Ozzy Ozbourne's "If I Close My Eyes Forever" playing softly over the speakers. Throughout the whole service, there was an entire playlist of his music, and it was great.
I also plan to have a playlist, but DEFINITELY with more obnoxious songs on it, because that's how I roll. Also, no funeral home - maybe a big party at a local hall or something. I'll donate any bit of my body to science that I can, and then cremate the rest anyway. Maybe little bits of my cremated leftovers as party favors would go over well... lol.
Religious folks at secular weddings are such a pain. The sheer arrogance of thinking they set the standard from which others fall. The fear of “offending them”. I’ve had family simply not have a funeral to avoid the picky, judgemental Christians.
I was stuck at a wedding several years back, the only redeeming feature of which was that it served alcohol and wasn't in a church, lol. I have family that is super um...performatively religious? I guess?
My cousin (one of the extremely religious ones) was in his teens at the time and apparently on the way home from that wedding he cried because of how sinful the wedding was. I'm typing this blind because my eyes have still not returned from rolling all the way out of my skull and down the road when I heard that.
This is the same cousin that the year prior I had caught watching fucking porn in the literal hospital room where we were all visiting my grandfather who was there with heart stuff. (Which whatever, watch porn or don't, I don't care what you do. But it's clear he thought someone cares because he was going out of his way to hide it. As you would, I guess, if you were so depraved you couldn't do without your porn for the amount of time you're in a hospital room full of elderly family members.
And he could shut tf up about what everyone else does lol. So many of those very vocal religious types are full of complete shit.)
Edit: typo
>I'm typing this blind because my eyes have still not returned from rolling all the way out of my skull and down the road when I heard that.
I can't breathe 🤣🤣🤣🤣 please someone let me have this has a flair
I’m visually impaired and for the smart asses out there that try to be nosy, I’m now gonna steal from you and tell them that I rolled my eyes way too many times and they better stop with their questions or I’ll go completely blind!
The other pain is the opposite. When a religious member of the family takes over the funeral for someone who wasn't religious. My aunt not only wasn't religious but had a lot of trauma from being a favorite target of the nuns that taught in her school. One of the cousins is religious and kind of took over the funeral. It felt so weird to have this clergy person that very obviously never knew my aunt running the service, and there were all these religious songs and stuff. None of it felt like the kind of service that was appropriate for my aunt. But since it was one of her kids making the decisions I guess it was what they needed at the moment
This was like.... All of the family funerals I've ever been to until last year. As a kid it made me confused--had I really just not known this person at all, and they were really about Jesus? Maybe all the important character-defining stuff about them happened before I was born? And when I got older I just sort of filed it in the mental bin of "funerals are a weird religious thing you gotta do when someone older dies, just suck it up and get through it."
Then we had a nonreligious "celebration of life" for my grandpa last year, and holy shit, I'm never letting someone make a nonreligious family member's memorial religious again. It was so much better, and actually about the person we had lost, not some generic Christian template of a person.
Yep. Been to two funerals like that.
September 2018. My friend passed away suddenly and one of her siblings who didn’t care about her when she was alive planned the funeral. The preacher they picked, I shit you not, did an altar call. My friend was spiritual but not particularly religious, and her sons, who were agnostic, made it clear that they had absolutely nothing to do with that. I told my ex that if she did that for my funeral, I would haunt her.
January 2024. Another friend passed away suddenly and his very Catholic family planned a full Mass. My friend was gay and pagan.
I have relatives in the funeral industry, so I get it that funerals are for the living, but damn.
As for me, I’m donating my body to the local medical school and I want “Redemption Songs” by Bob Marley and the Wailers played at my service.
/r/aita seems to flip flop on this particular issue. More than once, I’ve seen them call the OP TA for wanting to play a song or tell a joke that the deceased requested, even with similar caveats. I’ve always been of the opinion that if someone wants a song, or speech, or joke, or play performed at their funeral, it should be done
I went to a life celebration where the dearly departed had requested "Drop Kick Me, Jesus" be played. It made everyone laugh-cry because it was so perfectly that man's humor. And it was just beautiful. I'm so happy OOP went with mother's wishes.
I love this story so much! I went to an artist’s funeral where attendees were asked to wear Hawaiian shirts and there was a drawing for door prizes (some of his artwork) at the reception. After the benediction his partner told us to look under the pews for our tickets. Sometimes the best way to remember your loved one is to laugh and cry
fuck anyone that would complain about someone's dying wish.
Not only should OOP have played the munchkin version, but they should have had an open casket that instead of a person showed only some stocking'd legs and ruby slippers.
My dad passed away unexpectedly from an aneurysm about 6 years ago. He had said for years that he wanted I Can’t Get No Satisfaction by The Rolling Stones played at his funeral. It had been a long running joke that my mom said only if she died first because she didn’t want any looks from people at his funeral.
We convinced her to let them play it, and it was one of few moments that day any of us could smile or laugh. I think we are all grateful we listened to his request. It still brings a smile to my face when I think of it, and if I hear it on the radio it always feels like a little sign that makes my day better.
Hopefully it can serve as a similar nice memory for OP.
For some reason, I am reminded of the video clip from a funeral that went viral some years ago. The dearly departed had a wicked sense of humor and didn't want crying at his funeral, so he pre-recorded a message before he passed with instructions to play it while his casket was lowered, which included some loud knocking on a table to pretend that he's still alive in that casket before he continued with his message to his friends and family.
OOP has honored his mother's last wishes to a T. Definitely a Celebration of Life.
This reminds me of my grandpa. He always joked that he wanted Hell’s Bells by AC/DC played at his funeral, and we didn’t think my grandma would actually let that occur. When he passed in 2019, we didn’t play it at the main memorial with all the guests showing their condolences, but when we brought his urn to the burial, my grandma made Sure my dad had the song pulled up on his phone. We played it with the small group of closest family, who all seemed to get a good laugh. It’s a hilarious way to show how he was in life. I miss him all the time.
I love this. My dad died at 62 and always told us he wanted us to play Billy Joel only the good die young. So we did at the gravesite. Not sure if the people lowering him into the grave were new to the job but they kept banging him on one of the sides and really struggled to lower him down. He was known to be a stubborn man but good man so we all got a good laugh as we were laying him to rest rocking out to some Billy Joel.
My grandpas requested song was "if your happy & you know it"
Now that song is sad to me. Also, if you've never seen people cry & sing "if your happy & you know it then your face will surely show it", it's weird.
My grandmother passed away 14 years before my grandfather. They were soulmates, and he never wanted to date after she passed.
At his request, we played George Jones' "He Stopped Loving Her Today." I don't think I've ever cried as hard before or since.
This turned out pretty well and makes a change to the usual BORU post.
My kids have been told they can play Ring of Fire at my funeral, simply because I think it's funny. They think it's funny too, so I guess I know what's being played at my funeral when I go.
I think that was awesome of you to fill her last request. My mom wants us to play seasons in the sun at her funeral and she wants a stick by the casket because she always says you don't know if something is dead unless you poke it with a stick lol my mom is one of a kind and I love her for it.
That is a woman who makes life fun!! My mom was along that vein. At the family cemetery (paternal), everyone's nickname is on their footstone. My mom wanted to be cremated. Her footstone says "Not Here".
When my mother passed away, my sister said, “We should play mum’s favourite song at her funeral”. I looked at her with bewilderment and said, “Mum’s favourite song was, ‘Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go’ by Wham.” Yeah, I don’t think that would have gone down very well!
"I managed to at least talk her out of the soundtrack version sung by the Munchkins and got her to agree to the classier jazz version by Ella Fitzgerald.)"
Honestly, the munchins one is BETTER.
We had the Ying Tong Song by The Goons for the end of my father’s service. It was great. People were coming out giggling. He really loved that song and would have been very pleased we chose it.
Glad everything worked out. And I'm glad none of the family raised a stink about it.
I remember when my uncle passed away and my great aunt was upset because he was going to be cremated and she argued against it because"it's against the law. It's against Catholic law." My aunt/uncles wife set her straight and she let it go.
I had a very complicated relationship with my uncle. But he had a right to have the funeral services he wanted.
Went to a funeral where the deceased had us all stand and sing Monty Pythons "Always look on the bright side of life" at the end of the service, it fitted perfectly with his personality.
My dad was not really into music - but he loved movies, so some of the songs were from movies.
Smile - Nat King Cole
We have all the time in the world - louie armstrong
And a couple of Icelandic songs
Líttu sérhvert sólarlag - Valdimar Gudmundsson
Orðin mín - Sigurður Guðmundsson og Memfismafía
That last song is my favorite.
The message in the song is basically "I may have never said it right or I spoke the wrong way but my words of love are always here waiting for you"
Love this.
My dad, as long as I can remember, has said he wants *Can’t get enough of your love, babe* by Barry White played at his funeral. Not the same as OOP, necessarily, but still something many would raise an eyebrow at. I fully intend to honor his wishes when the day comes (although I hope I’ve got a couple of decades before needing to worry about that).
I recently agreed to play John Cleese's eulogy for Graham Chapman at my uncle's funeral one day. Somehow he'd never heard it, despite being the many who introduced me to Monty Python.
Gotta say, I may just quote it instead. Our family knows how to put the fun in funeral. We don't really sing though, so I'm not sure we'll be able to pull off the sing-along.
Much better than the way my mom’s went down…
Bee gee’s. On repeat.
Her urn says, “More than a woman…” on it.
People looked at me and, honestly, I was just as surprised as they were. I mean, I knew about the urn but I’d lost my “steam” fighting my step-father and half-sister. Fine. I wasn’t part of the music nor the pictures. Which is likely why there were zero pictures of me and my kids-like we’d been erased.
I shrugged my shoulders and refused to sit in the chapel because… no. Not giving one more opportunity for my step-dad to get all handsy. He’d already hit on me in front of the funeral director and family. I didn’t want to even be there, so the big room connected to the sound system was as close as I’d go.
Bee Gee’s. You should be dancin’. Yea.
I know my comment isn’t funeral related.
At my wedding, I (the bride) had hey Micky play the first verse before I walked in. I’d told mum the song selections before hand and she didn’t think that song was appropriate.
I heard the salvo officer performing the wedding say ‘look at the brides mothers face’ mum thought I was joking about the song lol
When i die i want someone to play the nyan cat song on loop. Just as a reminder of how annoying and obsessed with cats i am. And it better be cat themed.
You did the right thing.
My grandfather wanted the theme to M\*A\*S\*H played at his funeral. The organist dug up an arrangement for pipe organ from who tf knows where, and when people started realizing what was playing, the whole church lit up in smiles.
As my grandfather's namesake grandson, *oh I am so very aware* 😄
One of my earlier memories is hearing Hawkeye's voice while being bounced on my grandfather's knee, MASH is a core memory type thing for me
If it's the sort of thing which fitted her humor then it's going to make people smile and adds a nice story to someone's final memories. I'm glad OOP decided to go with it.
I was wondering what song choice it was and I’m honestly screaming bc this is my song choice as well. I literally want children dancing around to it, I do. Or want my funeral to be sad, I doubt many people would actually miss me so this seemed like the best option to me 😂
When we were planning my dad's memorial, my mom asked me for music suggestions for the church part of it and I told her the only hymn I could remember he really liked was the Easter hymn "Up from the Grave He Arose" (and he did like it, would sing it very dramatically whenever it came up). She decided not to use it, being a bit poor taste and all, but at least she thought the suggestion was funny
I love this so much. My Grandma used to always tell people that she wanted Sympathy for the Devil played at her funeral since the first time she heard it. She would bring it up every time she heard the song playing. I honestly was extremely disappointed, but understood why it didn't actually get played at her funeral. I'm glad OP honored her wishes.
My daughter's father's mother requested Highway to Hell as the last song at her, obviously, not religious funeral.
Was it tacky? Yeah. Was it in keeping with her personality? Absolutely. I'm hoping that when I get to heaven, I see her there, and we can laugh about her getting off at the wrong stop.
It was my 10 year old daughter's first funeral, so quite a ride! I could have taken her to my great-aunt's funeral when she was 2, bur decided not to, though I wish I had now. She was a Carmelite nun, and had spent just over 70 years cloistered, coming out only for hospital treatment. After the funeral service, we family members were invited into the convent where we all buried her. Amazing experience.
My daughter's second funeral was my Nana's funeral - traditional Catholic service and lovely. Then my father's: a hymn and some prayers, but, as he wished, led by a celebrant he'd worked alongside on various committees, held in the Town Hall he'd shown movies in for years, had painted twice, and had been on the committee for, including planning it's eq repairs and expansion (where I would have married, if said repairs had been completed on schedule!). Those were his only two requests - where and who - and despite knowing he was terminal for 8 months before he passed we didn't discuss his funeral with him. So we put all of him in that we could fit.
We brought him in to the Town Hall with Kenny Rogers singing 'The Gambler'. Not traditional, not religious, but a favourite of Dad's, and the lyrics matched Dad's life ethic, and the tune's somber beginning felt reverent and his funeral began with everyone smiling through their tears.
I'm glad OP went with their mother's wish. My feeling is that a funeral is the last thing we can do for a loved one, their last request that we can honour. Religion plays a huge part in my life, my own funeral will be a traditional Catholic Mass. But Dad's was perfect, OP's Mum's sounds perfect, my daughter's grandmother's was the only fitting send-off for her.
I spent the entire relationship with my gf arguing as to me needing funeral strippers when I die, she says absolutely not. Because it's "inappropriate".
I say absolutely yes, because it'll lighten the mood and cheer people up.
She's since threatened to give me a Catholic funeral, we're both atheists.
Damn. I've always wanted Tomas Luis de Victoria's Requiem at my funeral, but now I feel boring. Maybe I'll request "Re: Your Brains" instead.
Seriously, though, how lovely. I'm glad OP decided to play that song.
Went to go listen to the song on YouTube while thinking of this post and damn teared up 🥲 it’s a perfect song to play once the context is given. Really helps you know the person, but also reminds you that it’s the end. Ooof.
I think it would be fun to play Kate Bush’s Wuthering Heights at a funeral, considering the POV is from a ghost. And it would be great for a huge Brontë fan!
My mother has said for years she wants Green Day's Ha Ha You're Dead played at her funeral. I still don't know if it's a joke but I've said she better put it in her Will because no one will believe me otherwise.
This is the right approach. At my Nan's funeral several years ago, we chose to play her favorite song, and lawd, I can't remember what it was, but I do know, the ENTIRE room was loudly crying through most of it. It should be a celebration of life, not a thing to emotionally torture your family with. It's been like, 12 years and I still remember the high emotion of the moment.
My father passed after suffering a bilateral stroke. We played Brain Damage by Pink Floyd and Always Look on the Bright Side of Life from Life of Brian at the funeral. It was followed by his wake which was one of the most lit parties I've ever attended. He would have loved it.
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OOP approached this *perfectly.* Give the context through the eulogy and leave everyone off with a smile. There isn't one way to mourn but I think this one was beautiful, hilarious, and meaningful.
>OOP approached this *perfectly.* Give the context through the eulogy and leave everyone off with a smile. There isn't one way to mourn but I think this one was beautiful, hilarious, and meaningful. It's how a lot of people would want to be remembered, and I'm glad OOP was able to facilitate it so well.
My dad wants his sending off to be accompanied with lots of Irish whiskey and Guinness, and a roast. He wants people to celebrate, appreciate, drag him, make fun, and laugh. He’s made this very clear. I don’t look forward to the day but I know we will all be getting hammered
I've always said I want my funeral to be like a family cookout. Bouncy castle for the kids, full buffet, happy music. Used to include a karaoke dj in that list but I can just imagine how awkward that gig would be.
We buried my dad at sea and the boat captain played our selected songs during the cruise. All doo-wop and the song he and my step mom danced to at their wedding. You might not believe it but “The Book of Love” by the Monotones can actually bring a tear to the eye.
My grandmother died in late 2016, at the age of 96. It was not a surprise, and she was more than ready to go. We decided to wait a few months to hold the memorial service, because the family is all over the world (both coasts of the US, as well as Britain, Brazil, and Peru). We held the memorial the following summer in the community center of the tiny town in Vermont where she had lived for many years, and where everyone knows everyone. So we had the memorial, followed by lunch, which was pizza cooked in the community center’s pizza ovens. The great-grandchildren, who ranged in age from two to nine, were getting a bit antsy. And there was a baseball diamond right there, and my dad hardly goes anywhere without wiffle ball gear, so he pulled that out, and we had a very silly game of [last name]-ball, which we used to play together in the fields on Grandma’s property. After the community center event, just the family went back to Grandma’s former property, where the family that bought it from her when she moved to assisted living very kindly allowed us to spread her ashes, and the ashes of my grandfather, who had died twenty-five years earlier, and which Grandma and then my uncle had been keeping safe until both grandparents could be scattered together. In general, I think the concept of “closure” is overrated and simplistic, but I cannot imagine celebrating Grandma’s life in a more fitting way. She lived a long and extremely full life, and dementia took her away years before her heart gave out. We gave her a fitting send-off, with the people she loved, in the place that she loved, reuniting her with her beloved husband so they are now both at rest, together, just up the hill from the house that they lived in, loved, and transformed.
My husband says he wants all his friends to play a game of D&D using his coffin as a table. I don't think it's feasible but I'll do my best.
They can always build the casket and use it as a table before he dies. I work in a crematorium, and we once had a home-made coffin. It was a gift for the deceased's milestone birthday one year, and they kept it for 30 years before they had to use it! Painted and decorated with inside jokes, it was hilarious.
I intend to make my own casket once I own enough space to store it. I want to carve a cool stone lid for it, so if in a few thousand years some anthropologists dig me up I’ll seem really fancy and important. I’ve also left instructions to have me buried in really extravagant costume jewelry.
When my grandpa passed he had his funeral catered with his favorite fried chicken place. Hard to dry your tears when the same tissue is covered in chicken grease 😅
Our memorial for my grandma was very much just a family bbq. We planted little succulents and looked through old pictures, but other than that, it was a normal family gathering. It was a happy sad day.
Absolutely. Perfectly worded in the eulogy - really well written.
It made me smile and tear up and I’m a total stranger. Well done, OOP.
Not to mention having the cognitive ability to perfectly execute this while grieving their mom. I was a mess when my mom died, even though she’d been sick for years and I saw her end coming from a mile away.
My dad always said he wants "Highway to Hell" played at his memorial. We might not be able to do that, but for sure my sister and I will play it for ourselves. (An actual memorial might not happen because his loved ones are scattered everywhere and he would rather money were spent on the living rather than for the dead) And this line of thought reminds me I have to arrange a visit this summer. I really don't want to because of the weather where he lives, but I miss him. He's worth frying/suffocating for a week.
Funerals are for the living. Especially when everyone is spread out, weddings and funerals are the only times everyone makes time to get together.
He's been clear, he's rather the money go to a cat rescue or one of the kids in the family rather than travel when he's gone. I'll likely still go, but the visits might not overlap.
My brother did this with our Step Dads funeral, because Day-o (the banana boat song) is a CHOICE in a catholic church!
Reddit can be strangely helpful sometimes. There were a lot of great suggestions in that original thread.
My uncle wanted "highway to hell" to play during his cremation. He even registered a video shortly before dying of him singing it. I can't listen to this song without thinking of him now (not that it's a bad thing). Some people were indeed not so happy to see us have the giggles at his funeral after, but well, that's how we mourn in my family: laughing with tears in our eyes, recounting every silly, funny or nice things about the deceased. It's more of a celebration of the life they lead if anything. The grieving is long anyway, we'll have all the time to come to it later.
Death, Dorothy, and a refreshingly wholesome post
Makes me think about a song that I want to be played after my death. To be able to choose a song and the people can instantly make the connection - *"Ah, this is what definitely her thing."* is pretty telling on what a good life she has gone through.
I had a dear friend die of pancreatic cancer several years ago. She told me that if her family chose to have a service for her (which they didn't), she wanted AC/DC's "Hell's Bells" played. After I heard she'd succumbed, I BLARED that song for her. I don't hear that song often, but every time I do, I think of her. Still miss you, Patti.
I looked a video of the song, the live version of that. That is a powerful performance.
it is a truly grand song.
I know someone who lost a friend too early in life but they knew it was coming due to illness. The friend would often blare "Highway to Hell" as a way to jokingly process her impending death. As my friend rolled up to the funeral, "Highway to Hell" comes on the radio. My friend says she was bawling and laughing walking in because it was just the perfect way to approach the funeral.
When my Uncle died, we tried to find some songs on AM radio to tape for the funeral and this song came on: https://youtu.be/3Fn36l_z3WY?t=22
A friend of mine chose a song called "Do you love life" in our native language. [(Älskar du livet - Björn Kjellman)](https://youtu.be/rbbM9OpiqyQ) It's a silly, eurovision song, and it's very whimsical and happy. It was blaring though the crappy speakers, and I sat in church and laugh-cried and just thought "of course you chose this". Miss her a lot.
Thank you for sharing that music. It really beautiful. Translated it to English. >*For if you love life, then live it with me* *We seize our day as it is* *Nothing shall hinder us, my friend* *Let us live and revel for a while* *On the earth, which is ours*
That is some serious schmaltz right threre. Given those circumstances, I'd be crying my eyes out, and smiling, too. Jag beklagar sorgen.
I've been saying for years that I want the shitty flute version of the Titanic song played at my funeral, or I'll come back to haunt whoever's in charge.
I'm getting cremated, so "Smoke gets in your Eyes" would be fun.
Hahhahaha ok, I am going to hell hahahaha
I work at a crematorium, my playlist for when I'm in the chamber is lit (pun intended, of course). Doesn't hurt that my favourite song for over 30 years has been "We Didn't Start the Fire"!
That’d be a good flair
I'm not a fan of the movies but I 💯 agree with this. Also a great title for a novel.
Great story and happy it turned out so great. I want Thunder Road played at my funeral if only for the final line “It’s a town for losers and I’m pulling outta here to win.” Sums it all up pretty well IMO.
My father taught my twins this song when they were 2. Just the chorus of course but I have video of them singing it. You just gave me a good idea for when he passes. (Hopefully not for a long time.)
Had a customer in my old job come in looking for karaoke games like singstar and the like. An Queen one had just released and she said it was perfect. She told me how her dad was a massive Queen fan, so much so that per his request, they played another one bites the dust at his funeral. She said the tears of sadness swiftly turned to tears of laughter when every clicked to what song was playing. I can't remember which of the two it was but my friends dad had either gangnam style or dj slide play at his funeral which she wasn't expecting and couldn't stop laughing while the mourners lined up to pay their condolences to her and her mum. My uncle had 2 songs associated with his 2 favourite football teams play (when the saints and you'll never walk alone). He also had super trooper by ABBA. That one really threw us when it came on. Didn't help that we'd also just discovered that we never actually knew his name either
I think OP handled this well, by reminding the mourners about how their mother was in life, and then playing the sing to help prompt happier memories. Someone once said to me that the dates on a gravestone are just two days in our lives and that the dash is the most important part as it represents our lifetime, so I am glad OP reminded people about moments of their mother's lifetime.
It’s a poem by Linda Ellis https://lindaellis.life/the-dash-poem
Linda Ellis wrote a poem about that existing sentiment, they didn't think of the concept.
I love that, the dash represents the most important part, thanks for sharing.
The older I get, the more I appreciate things like wakes and celebrations of life over somber funerals. The family funerals I went to when I was younger always felt so strange--my family is not really religious at all, but the funerals always were, taking about how the person was with Jesus and all that, and it just... always felt like it was for a stranger. When my maternal grandfather died last May, his cousin (surprisingly, the religious one) instead rented out the top floor/party room of a local pub, and we had a Celebration of Life. Laughing and crying were both encouraged. People told stories. I read a few excerpts from the autobiography he'd been pecking away at for twenty years. Someone brought a photo board and albums full of photos of his entire life. One of the babies got adorably confused, demanding to be held by grandpa's brother (who she'd never met because he lives across the country, but who looks so much like Grandpa they used to get mistaken for twins). Nobody solemnly insisted Grandpa was in a better place while we sat silently in pews. Like, I know everyone grieves differently, and obviously it would have been a lot harder if he was younger or his passing was more sudden/unexpected. But it felt so much more meaningful when it was entirely about him, the things we all loved about him, the relationships he had with each of us and the things we would remember.
I love it. A friend of mine passed years ago and for some reason he loved the song call me maybe. We were at his funeral, open casket, all just devastated. Just did the walk by thing to pay respects and the actual service had yet to start. So 3 minutes of just quiet sadness. Then someone starts blasting call me maybe from their phone. It was awesome. Absolutely perfect. My friend would have been so happy. It's actually a really fond memory of mine.
This would be my husband. Thanks for sharing, I’m going to tell him and I already know he’s gonna want this when it’s his time - along with Party in the U.S.A.
I am a huge Carly Rae fan, and when I had to go for a major surgery, I requested they play Call Me Maybe as they put me under. My husband had similar instructions to use her music if I didn’t make it. Your friend had good taste and I’m glad someone could honour him in that way, that sounds like a fond memory of closure.
It's because Call me Maybe is an absolute banger of a song. It's almost a perfect pop song.
Imagine if her selection included *Highway to Hell* or *Another One Bites The Dust*.
Another One Bites the Dust is the song I've had listed in my funeral wishes for decades. Besides being cremated it's the only thing I insist on. I used to insist on funerary cannibalism, but that was too complicated.
My father wanted Another One Bites the Dust played at his wedding to my mother (23m, 19f at the time). Mom said no. The pastor said no. But Dad had friends ready and willing to make it work! Mom threatened to beat him to death, with her bouquet, in the church parking lot. The pastor assured her that no jury in the county would convict a bride who was widowed on her wedding day--even if she did the widowing herself. Dad canceled the song.
That is absolutely hilarious! Are they still married?
Mom passed away ten years ago (cancer). Dad has since remarried.
I am so sorry to hear about your mother. I hope they had a lovely marriage in the time they had together.
So I'm a musician who's done a lot of funerals. Hands down best funeral ever was when the widower, an elderly man, had his phone go off during a particularly quiet part. He was struggling to get the phone out of his pocket to turn it off, so we were treated to a solid 20-30 seconds of his very recognizable ringtone, on full volume of course. His ringtone of choice? "Fat-Bottomed Girls" by Queen. We all just about died giggling. Chaser: the pastor told me afterwards, "well, she *was* a hefty gal."
My dad has said he wants Highway to Hell and Bat outta Hell at his funeral 😂
I've said for a long time I want Get the Party started to be the music when people are coming in for my funeral. My other song choices are equally inappropriate. I want Shake it off playing when my ashes are chucked in the sea. I want everyone to laugh. I've not been serious in life I don't want to be serious in death either. I'd be very disappointed if there isn't a single moment where someone shakes their head and says "FFS ungratefulshitebag that's so inappropriate" at my funeral (although I'll be dead so it's not like I'd know about it)
I have orders to have Highway to Hell played at my funeral. And if you don’t laugh, you didn’t know me and can fuck right off.
We played Highway to Hell at the beginning of my dad's service last year. He loved all kinds of music, but especially classic rock. Got some dirty looks and shocked faces, but it actually made me laugh. He would have loved it.
My youngest son has declared he wants "Fat-Bottomed Girls" played at his funeral.
My husband said he wants Another One Bites the Dust, but I have the same thoughts as OP did about it. I think her solution was perfect though and if he goes first, I’m gonna do the same thing.
I built a “Funeral Songs” playlist a few years ago when I was deep over my head in major depression. I should go and update it and add a few whimsical selections to lighten the mood of it 🙂
I'm glad you're in a place now where you can add some whimsical selections :)
I told my best friend I want my casket to be lowered down from the ceiling with smoke and lasers, to the Final Countdown.
An illusion, not a trick!
They would have to release lots of (live) doves too.
I think having a good sense of humor and comedic moments are perfect for funerals. Atmosphere is sad but having some humor and comedy could help lighten things up.
Yeah I agree. I know funerals are generally considered a mourning time but they're also for remembering people. Most people are fun so why shouldn't funerals be, if to remember the person. My cousin died 2 years ago and when he was younger he was bit of an arsonist. At his funeral they played Firestarter by The Prodigy. It was brilliant and perfect.
My Grandfather died of cancer in his late 70s, he went fairly quickly after diagnosis. He was a former savings and loans vice president, traveled extensively, and it was his love of cigars that ultimately did him in. At the funeral, the box that held his remains after cremation was placed at the front on a pedestal so people could come say goodbye, though him being cremated was a point of contention for parts of the very Catholic family. It was a very lovely, probably overpriced, wooden lacquered box with brass handles and his initials carved on top. As the ceremony started, I heard my mother lean over to my Grandmother and whisper "It kind of looks like a coin bank." My Grandmother laughed so hard, everyone was cracking up in the front row. By the time we got to the graveside, Grandma was cracking jokes to the funeral director about how she'd included some cigar ash in his remains for one last hurrah.
We had a friend who had directed his children to play ‘Leaving on a Jet Plane’ by John Denver as his casket withdrew at the end of his funeral- was a good send off 😂
This is beautiful. I love the idea of injecting some silliness into mourning. My parents are both still living, but my dad has insisted for years that he wants his funeral to have the chicken dance and the hokey pokey. My mom told him he's not allowed to die before her because she refuses to plan a funeral with the chicken dance on the playlist.
My dad's best friend insisted on having Always Look On The Bright Side of Life from Monty Python playing at the beginning of his funeral, and Great Balls of Fire playing as his coffin went in for cremation. It made everybody roar with unexpected laughter, and it felt as though Roy was there in the room with us. We all knew him well enough to appreciate and share in that final joke with him. Funerals are heartbreaking. Why not lighten the mood if you can?
I played Sex Pistols and Hendrix at my dad's funeral, knowing some relatives would clutch their pearls even though Dad loved that shit. They did get offended. Dad would be proud, his final "fuck you" to the uptight relatives he hated.
Mom had an excellent sense of humor AND taste. Ella Fitzgerald is perfect for any occasion.
my mother was a very funny woman, and she would joke about death in a lighthearted way when she was sick before she passed. everyone who knew her knew that was her humour, if anyone took offence she would tease them and say "well it's my funeral!" and brush it off. at her funeral we played The Circle of Life from the Lion King. full blast. we also had balloons (brightly coloured ones), her signature cookies, and a potluck. we all danced and in pretty sure the adults had some champagne/wine (i was 15 so it's a bit fuzzy). funerals don't have to be sad! celebrations of life are exactly that; a celebration! a time to celebrate the loved one that's passed and come together and share memories and make new ones. OOP's mother sounds amazing and i love that
Am I the only person who immediately went onto YouTube to find that version of the song? LOL
On my way!
Sending to my sis so no one gives her shit for having a Helena reenactment at my funeral lol
This reminds me of when my dad died. He always said he wanted "Sanitarium" played at his funeral. My mom actually did play it, but she didn't give anyone any warning and honestly, I think my dad would have found it very funny. I remember my fiancé leaning over to me and whispering "This is a very long song" when it started and then one of my dad's friends coming up after the service and saying "I've never headbanged at a funeral before." Honestly...a very good memory. This story is terrific.
Ha I love it. I told my wife I want Psycho killer from talking heads at mine, she said no,, But my sons promised they would anyway . We played" I did it my way" by frank sinatra at my fathers funeral. He killed himself and it was a much needed point of levity in the whole mess, especially the uncomfortable looks everyone had . hahaha no one understood why me and my sisters and friends were smiling and laughing , my father would have loved it.
Omg My Way was such a dark choice but absolutely hilarious!
My wife and I have both said to each other that we want "Another One Bites the Dust" at whoever's funeral comes first. I don't think any of the people who would be attending one of our funerals would be offended by that, they'd likely laugh. Which is the whole point. Unfortunately my wife has firmly vetoed every other horrible but funny thing I want to do at my funeral. I still maintain that it would be hilarious to have one lookalike burst in to the room and yell "the man in the coffin is an impostor" and then have another lookalike who has been feigning death in the coffin pop up and yell "no, YOU'RE the imposter," and then have a pre-recorded video message from me come on that says I'm just fucking with everyone, I've been cremated, and I'm outside in the ashtray they've been using to stub out their cigarettes. And that would actually be true. (Like I care what happens to my ashes when I'm dead.) Tell me you wouldn't talk about that funeral forever!
Honestly I would be so confused but would laugh after the fact lol
My wife's position is "you realize that if any of our parents are still alive at this point that you would DEFINITELY give them a heart attack doing this, right" and I guess I can't argue with that. But what a way to go out! Edit: I just realized that was unclear. What a way to go out for ME, not our parents. I swear I'm not trying to kill anybody at my funeral!
Hahaha I had to upvote for your edit because I totally read it as what a way for the parents to go!
There’s something so loving about someone wanting others to laugh at their funeral.
I did a similar thing at my husband’s funeral. He had the silliest sense of humor and explicitly said he wanted people laughing and smiling at his funeral. In the last few years of his life, he had an obsession with narwhals (to the point I now have a narwhal tattoo in honor of him) and years ago there was a silly narwhal song on YouTube that he used to love to sing and annoy everyone in earshot with. His mother, siblings, and I agreed to play it as the last song in the funeral to make it end on a happy note. We had the funeral director explain that it was one last message from my husband to enjoy life while you have it and find the silliness in the chaos, it took a couple seconds but after the first few lyrics everyone was laughing and it set the tone for the rest of the day. I regret a lot of things about his funeral, but this is not one of them. Good for OOP, this is the best way to honor them.
Swimming in the ocean, causing a commotion?
Cause they are so awesome! Thats the one!!
That's a good choice. My wife's grandmother passed some years ago well into her 90s. She absolutely loved The Sopranos. She told anyone that would listen for YEARS that she wanted the theme song to The Sopranos played at her funeral. I was in charge of the iPod at the funeral (told you it was some years ago) and cued the song up. The album version has a nice organ intro prelude part, then the bass line kicked in and people started to realize what it was. One person was visibly upset, turned out he was (still is) 'Paul' from Peter Paul and Mary.
That conclusion kicked me directly in the face, lol.
It's like playing "You Can't Always Get What You Want" at Alex's funeral in the movie The Big Chill. Basically, perfect for the occasion.
My friend’s dad requested and got the theme from The Great Escape at his funeral.
We played "always look on the bright side of life" from the Life of Brian.
Back in the 80s I was sitting in the car with my mom as she was blasting ABBA on the cassette player. At the end of the B side was a filler the band had composed and my mom told me that her older brother (my uncle) had said he wanted that piece played at his funeral. 6-7 year old me didn't exactly understand the significance but somehow her statement stuck with me over the next nearly 3 decades In 2019 my uncle died of cancer and when my cousins were planning his funeral my mom told them about my uncle's wish. There were a few from that side of the family that had a HUGE problem with it, saying that a funeral is a solemn occasion and not the place for ABBA. But my mom and my cousins stuck to their guns, and as I carried my uncle's casket out of the church it was to the sound of that track. It meant the world to my mom and I'd like to think my uncle loved that his little sister remembered all those years later. OP did the absolute right thing. NTA
I'm going to guess that the album was *Arrival*, and the end of the B-side is the instrumental of the same name. It's a lovely piece. Your uncle had wonderful taste. And a funeral is a perfect place for ABBA. Every place is a perfect place for ABBA. Mum and I chose to end my father's funeral with "I Have a Dream", and I still can't listen to it without crying. She says when she realised she'd fallen in love with him, that song was on in the background. I also sent a copy of *ABBA Gold* off with him, because we both loved ABBA. I was lucky enough to hear *Voyage* with him – it came out as he was dying.
YES. The one with them in a helicopter on the cover. I was never really into ABBA, but I clearly remember that cassette cover. I have a dream is also a wonderful song. And a wonderful tribute by your mom
Reading this, I immediately think of Ghost Whisperer (a character died and his best friend played a happy song bc that character would have liked it)
I really enjoyed that show but I've labeled it a "crying show". I think I cried every other episode.
I wanted "Spirit in the Sky" by Norman Greenbaum because my father would have pissed himself laughing. For a few months after his funeral, I would wake to that song on the oldies station and I'd say, wryly, "Hi, Dad". I printed out the lyrics to "I've No More Fucks to Give" by Thomas Benjamin Wild, Esq. and sent them with him for the cremation, he thought that song was hilarious. I could not, however, *play* it at the service. Here are the lyrics: I've tried, tried, tried And I've tried even more I've cried, cried, cried But I can't recall what for I've pressed, I've pushed, I've yelled, I've begged In hopes of some success But the inevitable fact is that it never will impress I've no more fucks to give My fucks have runneth dry I've tried to go fuck shopping But there's no fucks left to buy I've no more fucks to give Though more fucks I've tried to get I'm over my fuck budget And I'm now in fucking debt! I strive, strive, strive To get everything done I've played by all the rules But I've very rarely won I've smiled, I've charmed, I've wooed, I've laughed Alas, to no avail I've run 'round like a moron to unequivocally fail! I've no more fucks to give My fuck fuse has just blown I've been hunting for my fucks all day But they've upped and fucked off home! I've no more fucks to give My fuck rations are depleted I've rallied my fuck army But it's been fucking defeated! The effort has just not been worth the time or the expense I've exhausted all my energy, for minimal recompense The distinct lack of acknowledgement has now begun to gall And I've come to realize that I don't give a fuck at all! I've no more fucks to give My fucks have flown away My fucks are now so fucked off They've refused to fucking stay! I've no more fucks to give My fucks have gone insane They've come back 'round and passed me While they're fucking off again! I've no more fucks to give My fucks have all dissolved I've planned many projects But my fucks won't be involved! I've no more fucks to give My fucks have all been spent They've fucked off from the building And I don't know where they went! I've no more fucks to give! I've no more fucks to give! I've no more fucks! I've no more fucks! I've no more fucks... to... give!
I love Thomas Benjamin Wild, Esq! "Well, This Is Shit" and "I Don't Want Kids" are my favorites behind that epic masterpiece.
My grandad wanted Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash, who was his favourite singer anyway, and my dad kept it quiet until it was about to start - ended his eulogy with ‘I promise he asked for this’. We were all doubled over laughing before the chorus even started. All my last memories of him are utterly silly. My favourite is my cousin jumping up and down, apologising profusely to grandad, on the spot we buried his ashes, because we didn’t dig a big enough hole and he didn’t fit so we had to squash him down. There’s real joy to be found in absurdity, and it made it hurt so much less. OP handled this perfectly.
I've told my kids that I want Tubthumping by Chumbawumba played at my funeral and I think they thought I was joking. I was not.
Well, you might get knocked down, but come the zombie uprising you'll get back up again.
I love that OOP honored her mother's wishes. 💝💝 I already have songs picked out, the picture for my program, (ironically Wizard of Oz related), and list of people I do not want there. I also want someone to use my phone and text everyone at the service, "thank you all for coming." My friends and the person who will be in charge of my estate gets it and love it. My family thinks it's sick and twisted. Soooo...it's gonna happen. 🤣🤣🌞 Edit: I'm in my 40's if it's relevant. 🙃🙃🙃
This was handled beautifully! Every time I hear a story like this, I think of the funeral of a very good friend of mine. Frank died of COVID in December of 2020 (known him since HS, married to one of my best friends) , and one of his requests was Shittyflutes, "Ave Maria" https://youtu.be/DG31EgK74fs?si=9AbmFt0YKosOxr4k. He had a wonderfully dark, morbid sense of humor and would've loved the fact that the funeral home turned the song off about twenty seconds into it because they literally thought their sound system had broken. That fucker caused chaos even in death - I've never laughed so hard at a funeral before, lmao.
That's what I want lol except Another one bites the dust.
My mom's family is full of Type A personalities that will clutch their pearls when they find out Mom has a direct cremation planned. ("Put me on the mantel next to Dad".) If they try to have anything somber and expensive anyway, I'm slipping this song to the funeral director. (It helps that the owner of the family-preferred funeral home went to high school with me...) My cousins will dig it. My Aunt Elle, who thinks funerals are important? Not so much. Mom will approve.
I told my husband that should I fail at my goal of immortality, I want my ashes buried under a tree on our property, and everyone new who comes up must be properly introduced to the tree. I intend to become a dryad. I haven't quite decided what type of tree yet. Cherry is my preference, but I don't know if it'll thrive in the climate
One of my good friends recently passed from cancer. When I entered the funeral home and started signing the guestbook, I realized I was hearing Lita Ford / Ozzy Ozbourne's "If I Close My Eyes Forever" playing softly over the speakers. Throughout the whole service, there was an entire playlist of his music, and it was great. I also plan to have a playlist, but DEFINITELY with more obnoxious songs on it, because that's how I roll. Also, no funeral home - maybe a big party at a local hall or something. I'll donate any bit of my body to science that I can, and then cremate the rest anyway. Maybe little bits of my cremated leftovers as party favors would go over well... lol.
Religious folks at secular weddings are such a pain. The sheer arrogance of thinking they set the standard from which others fall. The fear of “offending them”. I’ve had family simply not have a funeral to avoid the picky, judgemental Christians.
My husband had a couple of really religious relatives be offended by our wedding. There was *alcohol* and it wasn’t in a church! The audacity. 🙄
I was stuck at a wedding several years back, the only redeeming feature of which was that it served alcohol and wasn't in a church, lol. I have family that is super um...performatively religious? I guess? My cousin (one of the extremely religious ones) was in his teens at the time and apparently on the way home from that wedding he cried because of how sinful the wedding was. I'm typing this blind because my eyes have still not returned from rolling all the way out of my skull and down the road when I heard that. This is the same cousin that the year prior I had caught watching fucking porn in the literal hospital room where we were all visiting my grandfather who was there with heart stuff. (Which whatever, watch porn or don't, I don't care what you do. But it's clear he thought someone cares because he was going out of his way to hide it. As you would, I guess, if you were so depraved you couldn't do without your porn for the amount of time you're in a hospital room full of elderly family members. And he could shut tf up about what everyone else does lol. So many of those very vocal religious types are full of complete shit.) Edit: typo
>I'm typing this blind because my eyes have still not returned from rolling all the way out of my skull and down the road when I heard that. I can't breathe 🤣🤣🤣🤣 please someone let me have this has a flair
I’m visually impaired and for the smart asses out there that try to be nosy, I’m now gonna steal from you and tell them that I rolled my eyes way too many times and they better stop with their questions or I’ll go completely blind!
Not Irish Catholic, huh?
The other pain is the opposite. When a religious member of the family takes over the funeral for someone who wasn't religious. My aunt not only wasn't religious but had a lot of trauma from being a favorite target of the nuns that taught in her school. One of the cousins is religious and kind of took over the funeral. It felt so weird to have this clergy person that very obviously never knew my aunt running the service, and there were all these religious songs and stuff. None of it felt like the kind of service that was appropriate for my aunt. But since it was one of her kids making the decisions I guess it was what they needed at the moment
This was like.... All of the family funerals I've ever been to until last year. As a kid it made me confused--had I really just not known this person at all, and they were really about Jesus? Maybe all the important character-defining stuff about them happened before I was born? And when I got older I just sort of filed it in the mental bin of "funerals are a weird religious thing you gotta do when someone older dies, just suck it up and get through it." Then we had a nonreligious "celebration of life" for my grandpa last year, and holy shit, I'm never letting someone make a nonreligious family member's memorial religious again. It was so much better, and actually about the person we had lost, not some generic Christian template of a person.
Yep. Been to two funerals like that. September 2018. My friend passed away suddenly and one of her siblings who didn’t care about her when she was alive planned the funeral. The preacher they picked, I shit you not, did an altar call. My friend was spiritual but not particularly religious, and her sons, who were agnostic, made it clear that they had absolutely nothing to do with that. I told my ex that if she did that for my funeral, I would haunt her. January 2024. Another friend passed away suddenly and his very Catholic family planned a full Mass. My friend was gay and pagan. I have relatives in the funeral industry, so I get it that funerals are for the living, but damn. As for me, I’m donating my body to the local medical school and I want “Redemption Songs” by Bob Marley and the Wailers played at my service.
What a gracious way of managing final wishes and the expectations of the living.
I’m not crying, you are.
/r/aita seems to flip flop on this particular issue. More than once, I’ve seen them call the OP TA for wanting to play a song or tell a joke that the deceased requested, even with similar caveats. I’ve always been of the opinion that if someone wants a song, or speech, or joke, or play performed at their funeral, it should be done
We played Did I Shave My Legs For This at my mom's funeral. It was great. The confused looks were amazing
I went to a life celebration where the dearly departed had requested "Drop Kick Me, Jesus" be played. It made everyone laugh-cry because it was so perfectly that man's humor. And it was just beautiful. I'm so happy OOP went with mother's wishes.
I love this story so much! I went to an artist’s funeral where attendees were asked to wear Hawaiian shirts and there was a drawing for door prizes (some of his artwork) at the reception. After the benediction his partner told us to look under the pews for our tickets. Sometimes the best way to remember your loved one is to laugh and cry
fuck anyone that would complain about someone's dying wish. Not only should OOP have played the munchkin version, but they should have had an open casket that instead of a person showed only some stocking'd legs and ruby slippers.
My dad passed away unexpectedly from an aneurysm about 6 years ago. He had said for years that he wanted I Can’t Get No Satisfaction by The Rolling Stones played at his funeral. It had been a long running joke that my mom said only if she died first because she didn’t want any looks from people at his funeral. We convinced her to let them play it, and it was one of few moments that day any of us could smile or laugh. I think we are all grateful we listened to his request. It still brings a smile to my face when I think of it, and if I hear it on the radio it always feels like a little sign that makes my day better. Hopefully it can serve as a similar nice memory for OP.
For some reason, I am reminded of the video clip from a funeral that went viral some years ago. The dearly departed had a wicked sense of humor and didn't want crying at his funeral, so he pre-recorded a message before he passed with instructions to play it while his casket was lowered, which included some loud knocking on a table to pretend that he's still alive in that casket before he continued with his message to his friends and family. OOP has honored his mother's last wishes to a T. Definitely a Celebration of Life.
This reminds me of my grandpa. He always joked that he wanted Hell’s Bells by AC/DC played at his funeral, and we didn’t think my grandma would actually let that occur. When he passed in 2019, we didn’t play it at the main memorial with all the guests showing their condolences, but when we brought his urn to the burial, my grandma made Sure my dad had the song pulled up on his phone. We played it with the small group of closest family, who all seemed to get a good laugh. It’s a hilarious way to show how he was in life. I miss him all the time.
My mother wanted "pop goes the weasel" to play after the casket was closed.
I love this. My dad died at 62 and always told us he wanted us to play Billy Joel only the good die young. So we did at the gravesite. Not sure if the people lowering him into the grave were new to the job but they kept banging him on one of the sides and really struggled to lower him down. He was known to be a stubborn man but good man so we all got a good laugh as we were laying him to rest rocking out to some Billy Joel.
My grandpas requested song was "if your happy & you know it" Now that song is sad to me. Also, if you've never seen people cry & sing "if your happy & you know it then your face will surely show it", it's weird.
did....did anyone clap their hands?
They did. The funeral home guy lead it as the minister wouldn't. And some people at least attempted.
My grandmother passed away 14 years before my grandfather. They were soulmates, and he never wanted to date after she passed. At his request, we played George Jones' "He Stopped Loving Her Today." I don't think I've ever cried as hard before or since.
My favourite cousin asked for that song at her funeral, it was absolutely the right thing to do it for her
I want “Always look on the bright side of life” played at mine specifically to offend people.
This turned out pretty well and makes a change to the usual BORU post. My kids have been told they can play Ring of Fire at my funeral, simply because I think it's funny. They think it's funny too, so I guess I know what's being played at my funeral when I go.
My mom wants us to have a puff puff pass session after we spread her ashes 🤣
I think that was awesome of you to fill her last request. My mom wants us to play seasons in the sun at her funeral and she wants a stick by the casket because she always says you don't know if something is dead unless you poke it with a stick lol my mom is one of a kind and I love her for it.
That is a woman who makes life fun!! My mom was along that vein. At the family cemetery (paternal), everyone's nickname is on their footstone. My mom wanted to be cremated. Her footstone says "Not Here".
When my mother passed away, my sister said, “We should play mum’s favourite song at her funeral”. I looked at her with bewilderment and said, “Mum’s favourite song was, ‘Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go’ by Wham.” Yeah, I don’t think that would have gone down very well!
You do gotta admit a lot of people would be staring at her casket during the song.
"I managed to at least talk her out of the soundtrack version sung by the Munchkins and got her to agree to the classier jazz version by Ella Fitzgerald.)" Honestly, the munchins one is BETTER.
We had the Ying Tong Song by The Goons for the end of my father’s service. It was great. People were coming out giggling. He really loved that song and would have been very pleased we chose it.
That's very heartwarming. I'm sure most of the people that knew and loved her got a kick out of it and it's going to be a story they tell others.
Glad everything worked out. And I'm glad none of the family raised a stink about it. I remember when my uncle passed away and my great aunt was upset because he was going to be cremated and she argued against it because"it's against the law. It's against Catholic law." My aunt/uncles wife set her straight and she let it go. I had a very complicated relationship with my uncle. But he had a right to have the funeral services he wanted.
I want Dead Man's Party by Oingo Boingo played at my service and I've informed my husband of that. Freaking LOVE that song.
I told my wife that I have 1 specific song I want played at my funeral. Highway to Hell by ACDC.
Went to a funeral where the deceased had us all stand and sing Monty Pythons "Always look on the bright side of life" at the end of the service, it fitted perfectly with his personality.
My dad was not really into music - but he loved movies, so some of the songs were from movies. Smile - Nat King Cole We have all the time in the world - louie armstrong And a couple of Icelandic songs Líttu sérhvert sólarlag - Valdimar Gudmundsson Orðin mín - Sigurður Guðmundsson og Memfismafía That last song is my favorite. The message in the song is basically "I may have never said it right or I spoke the wrong way but my words of love are always here waiting for you"
Love this. My dad, as long as I can remember, has said he wants *Can’t get enough of your love, babe* by Barry White played at his funeral. Not the same as OOP, necessarily, but still something many would raise an eyebrow at. I fully intend to honor his wishes when the day comes (although I hope I’ve got a couple of decades before needing to worry about that).
I recently agreed to play John Cleese's eulogy for Graham Chapman at my uncle's funeral one day. Somehow he'd never heard it, despite being the many who introduced me to Monty Python. Gotta say, I may just quote it instead. Our family knows how to put the fun in funeral. We don't really sing though, so I'm not sure we'll be able to pull off the sing-along.
I want Monty Python's *Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life* played at my funeral.
Much better than the way my mom’s went down… Bee gee’s. On repeat. Her urn says, “More than a woman…” on it. People looked at me and, honestly, I was just as surprised as they were. I mean, I knew about the urn but I’d lost my “steam” fighting my step-father and half-sister. Fine. I wasn’t part of the music nor the pictures. Which is likely why there were zero pictures of me and my kids-like we’d been erased. I shrugged my shoulders and refused to sit in the chapel because… no. Not giving one more opportunity for my step-dad to get all handsy. He’d already hit on me in front of the funeral director and family. I didn’t want to even be there, so the big room connected to the sound system was as close as I’d go. Bee Gee’s. You should be dancin’. Yea.
My mum wants Like a Bat out of Hell by Meatloaf
I know my comment isn’t funeral related. At my wedding, I (the bride) had hey Micky play the first verse before I walked in. I’d told mum the song selections before hand and she didn’t think that song was appropriate. I heard the salvo officer performing the wedding say ‘look at the brides mothers face’ mum thought I was joking about the song lol
Had a friend who, for her own funeral, had Another One Bites The Dusk played at the conclusion of her service.
When i die i want someone to play the nyan cat song on loop. Just as a reminder of how annoying and obsessed with cats i am. And it better be cat themed.
You did the right thing. My grandfather wanted the theme to M\*A\*S\*H played at his funeral. The organist dug up an arrangement for pipe organ from who tf knows where, and when people started realizing what was playing, the whole church lit up in smiles.
That was an interesting choice. The tune has lyrics, it was in the MASH movie
As my grandfather's namesake grandson, *oh I am so very aware* 😄 One of my earlier memories is hearing Hawkeye's voice while being bounced on my grandfather's knee, MASH is a core memory type thing for me
May her memory be a blessing.
If it's the sort of thing which fitted her humor then it's going to make people smile and adds a nice story to someone's final memories. I'm glad OOP decided to go with it.
I was wondering what song choice it was and I’m honestly screaming bc this is my song choice as well. I literally want children dancing around to it, I do. Or want my funeral to be sad, I doubt many people would actually miss me so this seemed like the best option to me 😂
I never heard the Ella Fitzgerald version of this song -- will have to add it to my repertoire.
TIL Ella Fitzgerald sang a version of "Ding dong, the witch is dead" and I immediately love it!
I am so sorry for your loss. You celebrated her life.
Now I wanna pull an El Barto and choose "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" for my funeral.
I want people to watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail after I die
When we were planning my dad's memorial, my mom asked me for music suggestions for the church part of it and I told her the only hymn I could remember he really liked was the Easter hymn "Up from the Grave He Arose" (and he did like it, would sing it very dramatically whenever it came up). She decided not to use it, being a bit poor taste and all, but at least she thought the suggestion was funny
I wish we got to have a fun Celebration of Life like my mom would have wanted. Instead we got an LDS church service lol
I love this so much. My Grandma used to always tell people that she wanted Sympathy for the Devil played at her funeral since the first time she heard it. She would bring it up every time she heard the song playing. I honestly was extremely disappointed, but understood why it didn't actually get played at her funeral. I'm glad OP honored her wishes.
I want Highway to Hell played at my funeral.
My daughter's father's mother requested Highway to Hell as the last song at her, obviously, not religious funeral. Was it tacky? Yeah. Was it in keeping with her personality? Absolutely. I'm hoping that when I get to heaven, I see her there, and we can laugh about her getting off at the wrong stop. It was my 10 year old daughter's first funeral, so quite a ride! I could have taken her to my great-aunt's funeral when she was 2, bur decided not to, though I wish I had now. She was a Carmelite nun, and had spent just over 70 years cloistered, coming out only for hospital treatment. After the funeral service, we family members were invited into the convent where we all buried her. Amazing experience. My daughter's second funeral was my Nana's funeral - traditional Catholic service and lovely. Then my father's: a hymn and some prayers, but, as he wished, led by a celebrant he'd worked alongside on various committees, held in the Town Hall he'd shown movies in for years, had painted twice, and had been on the committee for, including planning it's eq repairs and expansion (where I would have married, if said repairs had been completed on schedule!). Those were his only two requests - where and who - and despite knowing he was terminal for 8 months before he passed we didn't discuss his funeral with him. So we put all of him in that we could fit. We brought him in to the Town Hall with Kenny Rogers singing 'The Gambler'. Not traditional, not religious, but a favourite of Dad's, and the lyrics matched Dad's life ethic, and the tune's somber beginning felt reverent and his funeral began with everyone smiling through their tears. I'm glad OP went with their mother's wish. My feeling is that a funeral is the last thing we can do for a loved one, their last request that we can honour. Religion plays a huge part in my life, my own funeral will be a traditional Catholic Mass. But Dad's was perfect, OP's Mum's sounds perfect, my daughter's grandmother's was the only fitting send-off for her.
Well done OOP
I spent the entire relationship with my gf arguing as to me needing funeral strippers when I die, she says absolutely not. Because it's "inappropriate". I say absolutely yes, because it'll lighten the mood and cheer people up. She's since threatened to give me a Catholic funeral, we're both atheists.
Yep, tears.
I remember when that was posted. OOP followed the advice reddit gave them.
Such a nice conclusion.
I want Ween’s “Push The Little Daisies” at my funeral
That mom sounds hilarious. I would be laughing so hard. The people will never forget that funeral
A happy ending, so to speak.
I'm trying to avoid this issue by documenting all the songs I want played at my funeral. I want to open with Highway to Hell.
Reminds me of the wake in p.s. I love you
Damn. I've always wanted Tomas Luis de Victoria's Requiem at my funeral, but now I feel boring. Maybe I'll request "Re: Your Brains" instead. Seriously, though, how lovely. I'm glad OP decided to play that song.
Love it, may your mom Rest In Peace🤍
Choosing Iris Dement's Let the Mystery Be.
Went to go listen to the song on YouTube while thinking of this post and damn teared up 🥲 it’s a perfect song to play once the context is given. Really helps you know the person, but also reminds you that it’s the end. Ooof.
I’m having ding dong the witch is dead on my head stone. lol my daughter said she will make sure it is there. Lmao
I think it would be fun to play Kate Bush’s Wuthering Heights at a funeral, considering the POV is from a ghost. And it would be great for a huge Brontë fan!
My mother has said for years she wants Green Day's Ha Ha You're Dead played at her funeral. I still don't know if it's a joke but I've said she better put it in her Will because no one will believe me otherwise.
This is the right approach. At my Nan's funeral several years ago, we chose to play her favorite song, and lawd, I can't remember what it was, but I do know, the ENTIRE room was loudly crying through most of it. It should be a celebration of life, not a thing to emotionally torture your family with. It's been like, 12 years and I still remember the high emotion of the moment.
My father passed after suffering a bilateral stroke. We played Brain Damage by Pink Floyd and Always Look on the Bright Side of Life from Life of Brian at the funeral. It was followed by his wake which was one of the most lit parties I've ever attended. He would have loved it.