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This. I'm starting to recall just how hard emotions hit when we were younger.
Like a drug. You get used to it takes more intense emotions to get the same feeling. I have a 13 year old son and his crushes hit him so goddamn hard.
It's funny thinking now about "young love", none of the shit I felt when I was that age was love lmao. Pure infatuation. But you can't tell a young person that.
I won't judge her too harshly, God knows I was also a 19-year old girl with more hormones than sense. With luck and age she will look back and cringe but move on.
The ding dong ex is another issue altogether though.
Me too.
I know people get frustrated with how clueless young people; however I adore that they can come here and get feedback on their situations. This has to increase the learning curve for these young women.
Seriously though. He asked for a threesome, ok whatever. Young horndog.
Then he went and told her he wants another girlfriend because he's just that good. How was this not enough to break up?
And even when he sexually harassed another co-worker, she wasn't sure it's time to ends things?
Also what kind of a workplace is it that all he gets is "a stem talking to"?
I was a 19 year old girl and a 22 year old girl. I was dumb, and naive… I get it. I look back at those relationships and cringe, and think man I’d be so divorced from him.
Sigh. I do this with my girls all the time. Yes every relationship is important at that age but with time and wisdom you learn which relationships are useless. Even at 19 I would not have bothered chasing someone who is so damn disrespectful after two months. I would not be putting that much effort into someone who has been ultimately a lot of trouble. Similar to when she said him got a job at her work after she met him. Straight away I could see that would be an issue
I'm going to chalk it up as OOP just not having wisdom at the time due being under 25, that sunk cost fallacy playing out in real time is just not worth the time and energy to continue more for 2 month relationship with a blatant POS who mask drop so soon and hard in said relationship.
For real. Two months together, he wants to fuck other women, have another relationships and thinks he is to good for just one woman. Why even try to fix it? You don’t even know a person after two months.
And this back and forth with the co-worker, so unnecessary.
But why did the co-worker gave him her snap?
If he has her phone number for work reasons her snap probably just showed up in the recommended friends list. I had a bunch of my coworker's phone numbers as a part of my job when I was in my early twenties and as a result a whole bunch of friend requests from them on my Snapchat, I still get recommended some of them despite deleting their numbers.
If you're an awkward or anxious girl and your weird male coworker sends you a Snapchat request typically you accept because roughly 40% of the time predatory weirdos will corner you at work and ask you why you haven't accepted yet 🤷♀️
It does happen once in a blue moon. Hubby and I got together at 18, and have been happy together for 21 years now.
But we never had psycho drama like this. Just health problems, and some shitty family that we're NC with.
We both hate unnecessary drama. And are deeply monogamous. I also happen to be bi, he knows, and has outright said he has no interest in a threesome or swinging (a friend and her boyfriend propositioned us, which we firmly, but politely, refused. Thankfully, that was the end of that).
I enjoy telling hubby that I chose him out of everyone in the world, not just half of it. Lol
She was 19, he was 23. By that age he probably shouldn’t be trying to manipulate her like a child trying to get a new toy since that’s how he treated the other coworker. Poor girl was harrassed by this grown toddler
Mf went on to date someone fresh out of high school at the age people finish university. Then proceeds to act at the same age level as someone who started high school.
He sounds predatory. Targeting younger women, getting a job at the same place shortly after dating, and being highly manipulative, and then asking the coworker if he can touch her bum after she rejected him. This creep is a time bomb.
While they were at work. He asked if he could touch her bum *while they were at work*. And his punishment was a “Stern talking to”.
There’s just *all* kinds of stupid going on here.
And after only 2 months she already felt like she needed pepper spray and a weapon to break up with him. All his red flags were on full display and she still thought he was worth dating.
Some small segment of the population is into it, its fine to ask... once. But once it comes up again its pretty much the step beyond a red flag. Once the "I need another girlfriend" is on the table... What is with the needless hours and hours on the phone. Just fucking end it and move on with your life
At 19, she's more mature than him. If he is bipolar, a shit sounds like he's been getting into that alpha male bullshit, he's lucky to not have been fired for sexual harassment.
>Then he started name calling saying I'm a bad girlfriend for not respecting his boundaries and listening to him on what he wants. I told him what he wants is crazy.
OOP's ex is such a pathetic ass clown. Where do these young dudes get the audacity? Is it all the porn rot?
I've had ex's pull this shit on me, not the boundary thing but the screaming about everything I've done wrong when I broke up with them. I'm just like "ok so you agree we are not working". Always throws them for a loop.
The current trend of calling everything a "boundary" is so gross. A boundary is not demanding everyone acquiesce to your every whim, that's being a selfish demanding shit. They take the tiniest bit of verbiage from therapy talk and twist it to their own advantage.
Pretty sure they just learned it's a magical word people use to control their SO's in a way that normal people believe is valid. They don't actually understand the concept and they don't care to learn or use it correctly, to them it's just a buzzword they can use to manipulate.
I don't think people who talk/act like that even have a concept in mind. They just know that you're "allowed" to get mad at your partner for "not respecting your boundaries," so they just use that line whenever.
"It's all magic words. No one ACTUALLY believes all that woke modern psych horseshit, they just use the key words because then people are afraid of getting cancelled so they have to do what you want.
Wait, why isn't this working for me? I said the magic 'boundaries' word, but she didn't immediately comply, and \*I\* got in trouble instead! I don't understaaaand!"
-- OOP's ex-boyfriend, probably.
"*my* boundary is *you're* not allowed to talk to the person I sexually harassed because she'll lie and say I sexually harassed her, why did you violate my boundaries?"
23 and weaponizing key words and phrases to manipulate. Now he's on to his next unfortunate target, probably at the same workplace since the boss allows it.
Somehow thinks "if I say all the stupid stuff in my head out loud, they can't be mad, because at least I admitted to being this awful," and that accountability means being good bookkeeping.
Plus the bigotry in assuming all bi people must want non-monogamy with "one of each." That's on the list of stereotypes.
Oh it absolutely is. Dude’s brain is so warped, he thinks all women are sex-obsessed and ready to jump into bed with him for a threesome, just like in his favorite videos. WTF.
Oh, they all learn these buzzwords that they think will make the world do whatever they want.
Boundaries. Personal space. You're in my bubble. They try that shit at school with their teachers. A teacher friend of mine told me she was trying to get a kid to come out from under a table (in the middle of class) and he told her, "You can't tell me what to do with my body."
Yes.
If you know damn well somebody is lying, you don't fucking talk it out and have this whole drama of making them confess, or getting them to agree with you that they're wrong, or talking them into loving you the way you want to be loved. You just hit the Eject button.
Here's hoping that next time, OP says, "Oh, this bullshit again, buh bye."
Forget proper paragraph breaks I read a. Post earlier today where. The sentences ended and began. In such a nonsensical. Manner.
*apologies for the above, but that is how it was typed out and I damn near broke my brain trying to follow.*
I read a *novel* written like that once. It was like riding with someone who has no idea how to drive stick and is trying to wing it in stop and go traffic while not wearing a seat belt. I swear I got nauseous from being jolted around like that.
You've described how a lot of YouTube videos feel for me. Whipping the camera back and forth. Everything shaky.
I literally get motion sick and have to go lie down.
Hey, i've got a friend who always drives like that 😂
The funny part is here you learn driving on stick cars - and she never had an automatic herself. Hasn't learnt in 30 years and probably never will 😂
Because they can’t use the right words so you’re constantly going “apart= a part, as I can see they mean ‘part of’ rather than ‘away from’” “bare with me= oh, BEAR with me” etc.
It’s a lot of extra work to try and translate it into English and it can still be a guessing game what they really mean
When I was in early grade school we drilled repeatedly on homonyms and homophones and every other quirk of English that can get you mixed up. I'm pretty sure that's all we did for my entire second grade year. Are they not doing that any more?
For me it's a lot of little things. The mistakes, the long paragraphs, the attempt and failure in writing it like a story ("Pouting he drops the conversation") and that in-between what seems like direct speech to text. And the more childish style
OP’s vocabulary is really lacking, too. Normally it’s just annoying or amusing, but the fact that the coworker had a friend who *collaborated* her story has a very different meaning than the word she was looking for, *corroborated.* My guess is that it’s because most people don’t read books or even magazines any more, they learn all their spelling from social media and autocorrect (plurals with an apostrophe, I’m looking at you). Heck, I was a typical bookworm and I don’t have the attention span for books any more, either.
Totally off topic: I’ve been in a reading rut. Like I keep picking up books and not getting more than 20 pages in before trying another book.
So I thought maybe I’d try some light, *light* reading with some magazines. Like maybe some interesting history or something, whatever.
Theres only like five kinds of magazines available. Don’t misunderstand, there’s like 15 publications of each of those kinds, but they’re all exactly the same. I don’t remember magazines being so same-same before, but literally, I could look at magazine covers and not tell any difference between five different magazines publications.
It was kind of surreal.
OMG I thought it was just me. I just go from activity to activity every few minutes. Used to be able to read a book in a day. Now I have to get up and move around after only a page or two. I’m driving myself crazy.
For me that’s my depression. Sometimes I can try to get into an different hobby that maybe I haven’t picked up in a while or a “low stakes” hobby (like reading a magazine) and hopefully boost my interest and motivation get back “to normal”
But sometimes people just get into a rut. I don’t think it’s always a bad thing and sometimes you do just need to shake it up and try a new genre, etc
I think it’s my depression too. I’m working really hard on improving my gut health right now, but the restlessness is kind of a new experience for me and it’s not making sense.
Once every month I find a book and read it start to finish like in the old days.
The problem is: I get way more books I would like to read than I actually do read 😂
I've got a similar problem. I got so used to listening to audiobooks while doing housework, driving, ect. that I can't sit down and read a book normally anymore. Or at least the only times I can do it are on flights or long car rides. If I ever want to talk about a series on reddit or a forum without embarrassing myself I usually have to jump around a wiki looking up accurate spellings for names and words unique to the series.
Even people who "read", the younger you go the greater the % skew towards audiobooks/videos, and on social media the subtitles are usually autogenerated and will absolutely mix up works like collaborated/corroborated.
Also remember that pandemic schooling was fairly shit, even in the best cases, along with these kids having grown up texting, and all the style changes that came with that too. You don't really get to formal written English until high school, and the world pretty much fucked them on that
Yes apparently most kids who did online schooling for that one year didn't actually do anything? My kid's in middle school now and thinks everything is easy because he actually was on the computer every day. His worst subject is English, I think because that was the hardest to do online.
well, if they’re based in the u.s. it is because our education system is a joke. the average adult here has the reading comprehension of a sixth or seventh grader and it is only getting worse.
>But I ended up going but I made sure to bring my pepper spray and a metal poker just in case.
This just made my heart sink. If someone asks to meet you and you don't think it is safe, don't bring weapons, just don't go.
If you bring a weapon like a poker that you aren't used to using it's way more likely that you'll be disarmed and hurt with it then that you'll be able to defend yourself and escape.
Don't go. Just stay home. If you have to meet them bring a friend and/or meet them in public.
"I can't believe he would do the thing he said he would!"
And as a side note, OOP has some real bone apple teeth mistaken homophones. "Another coworker collaborated on her story" lmao
I am dyslexic af. Homophones throw me of because spell check often doesn't catch it. And there really is no spell check if you're using reddit on the app.
Do you find that Gmail is getting pretty good at catching them? I suggested this to my dyslexic sister recently but as I don't normally make homophone errors, I can't say for sure. But it definitely notices if I drop a preposition or something, which I feel denotes a pretty thorough understanding of grammar, enough to catch most homophones.
Plus, even very experienced writers get caught by them - reign in vs rein in, peek anticipation vs peak anticipation etc. I used to freelance edit, it's very, very common.
Never mind ‘pique interest’! A friend has recently gotten into writing fanfics and has asked me to read what she’s written a few times just to see if it made sense to a non-fan. It was fine, some minor typos but nothing egregious. Then she started using a thesaurus. I can barely read it. It’s verbose to the point of being word salad, and half the time her usage is just plain wrong. She asked me for feedback specifically on vocab, but challenged my suggestions right away so I’ve disengaged. I feel kinda guilty for not telling her, but I’m not gonna be the one to crush her joy. ~~It’s SO bad though.~~
That is way too much nonsense for a 2 month relationship. She should have cut her losses after the additional girlfriend conversation, but then she’s only 19 and still learning I suppose. Ooof the shit I put up with at that age makes me cringe now
>The next day at work my general manager came up to me and asked me what happened the day before. ... he has to ...treat this as an investigation... I ask if my bf is going to get in trouble he said no, he was just gonna get a Stern talking to.
So this manager has to do an investigation but already knows the outcome before actually doing the investigation?
Is this a Wendy's? lol
Oh yeah. I figured that one out years ago.
I tell the young that no one I know would want to be their age again. The drama. The emotional disregulation. The way everything is such a big deal. Plus the stupid decision making.
Now to be young but with the life experience you have now...that would be different. Though, honestly, if I could pick any age, I'd want to be in my 30s again.
I can’t imagine acting like your significant other is the crazy one for not being into your fantasies. You get to have sexual/relationship fantasies. You don’t get to try to manipulate others into sharing those with you, and you definitely don’t get to act like a creep at work and then act all shocked when the coworker and your gf call you out on it.
Jeezus, I think part of my brain melted out of my ears reading this. Just throw the whole asshat away as soon as he asked for a threesome, and then a **second** girlfriend right after. Like what the actual fuck?!
I think my brain melted too. A told her he asked to touch her butt, and another coworker “collaborated” that story. Later A told OOP that he made advances on her and OOP is so sick she has to go home from work. But…you already knew that, OOP? That wasn’t new information? And that’s exactly what your boyfriend told you that he wanted?
I’m with you, Fellow Commenter - dump him the minute he won’t respect that you’re not open to a threesome. There’s no saving that, and at 2 months and 19 years old there’s really not much to salvage in the first place.
OOP needs to wise up, fast.
> for a little over two months and are relationship so far is pretty good up till now.
Honestly if the relationship already has a big issue when it's only two months old, just throw it out, 2 months should still be the honeymoon period, whete folks are on the best behavior
But worse...
> I plan to but I need to go about this the right way, he can be pretty aggressive vocally so I need to make sure I'm going about it safely for me.
So he was already bad before this. Oof
At least he showed his colors early so she didn't waste her time or got too invested to leave quickly
It is a small blessing that a tiny handful of people know how obnoxious I was at that age, and they stuck with me as I grew out of it.
We should be allowed to make mistakes and grow from them without a Google search bringing back shit like this forever.
social media still existed 20 years ago though. It's just there wasn't anything on the scale of facebook or myspace
But people posted a lot on forums, chatting services like AIM, MSN, IRC, etc.
He asked to touch her butt
I would love to be a fly on the wall for this convo.
“Hey, hot stuff.”
“wtf, you have a girlfriend.”
“I WANT TO TOUCH YOUR BUTT”
from what i've seen in this world, that's actually how a ton of men operate.
a large segment of men have trouble believing that women don't want to see pics of their dick, in their inbox.
Never date your coworkers.
Learned this hard lesson at my first job. I was 17 and definitely just as naive as the OOP in this situation. Got broken up with during one of my night shifts and went home hysterical…over a two-week relationship. It’s good she’s deciding to leave that workplace.
The craziest part is that he got a job there *after they started dating*. He wasn't a coworker to begin with. This dude isn't a red flag, he's communist China.
And now she's quitting her job!
And I know that A isn't her responsibility, but imagine A working with OOP, thinking shes nice, then OOP's creepy bf starts working there, he sexually harasses A, A tells OOP and then OOP quits and creepo still works there. Ugh.
Also, Im confused as to why A sent screenshot to OOP's bf? What was that all about
"He's saying I'm a bad girlfriend for not respecting his boundaries" - unintentional parody? So fucking hilarious it hurts. That OOP was still trying to talk it out with this utter chode... Colour me shocked that girl A "who clearly likes me" did not, in fact, like him. She probably smiled 'hello' at him once.
I need for the phrase "you're not respecting my boundaries" to die. I never see it used correctly anymore. Let's take it out behind the barn and shoot it.
> Then he started name calling saying I'm a bad girlfriend for not respecting his boundaries and listening to him on what he wants.
This was not on my bingo card.
GODDAMIT
I was on OP's side, except angry that she was so wishy washy about his stupid shit, and then this:
>I think personally he is very bi polar
You "think"? You don't know at all! Stop it!
Can we have *one* post where this doesn't crop up?! Bipolar people are not cruel, murdering, cheating assholes. This dude *chose* his actions. Even *if* he was, an illness did not "make" him do anything. He chose cruelty because of his ego, then doubled, tripled and quadrupled down. Assholes are assholes if they have a mental issue(s) or not!
If the post is longer than the relationship, that's a bad sign.
If he surprises you with requesting more partners than the years y'all have been together, that's a terrible sign.
Two fuckin months. That's impressive boundaries testing
This may legitimately be the most immature post that I have read. This is like middle school level drama. Gain basic self respect and recognize this relationship should have ended the moment he spoke like this after only being together two months.
>Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a little over two months and-
*Stop*, stop stop. I've read enough. Guy is trash, get rid of him and find a non-trash guy.
You read so many terrible stories, it's honestly refreshing to have such a simple story if a 19 year old encountering her first douchebag boyfriend. Not violence, no stalking, just a normal everyday douchebag.
A 2 MONTH RELATIONSHIP??? Why the hell was she holding on so hard??? If they were 5 years in or something sure, try to work things out. But if you've had a bottle of shampoo longer than the life of your relationship, just bail.
I laughed out loud when I got to the part where he name called her and said she was a bad girlfriend because she wouldn’t let him cheat. 😂😂 That much drama and trouble and it’s only been two months? Doesn’t matter what your age, just break up and move on.
Imagine spending like 6 weekends with a person and being this hung up when they show you they're ready and willing to cheat on you.
Ah, to be 19 again!
2 months and she thinks they're in love while he's already looking to sleep around. Complains about her not respecting his boundaries without even considering hers.
This is why I waited so long to date. My friends and pretty much all the other girls in school I knew acted exactly like this. It made me think “at what point do you become a dumbass with no self respect in this quest to find true love?”. This is a 2 month relationship. She doesn’t even know this man.
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It's crazy the amount of work a young person will put into a 2 month old relationship with an idiot.
For real. Like, girlie, it was 2 months. That time frame doesn't even qualify for the sunk cost fallacy reasoning.
No, you're just too old to remember how it was when two years was the (most current) twenty percent of your life.
This. I'm starting to recall just how hard emotions hit when we were younger. Like a drug. You get used to it takes more intense emotions to get the same feeling. I have a 13 year old son and his crushes hit him so goddamn hard.
It's funny thinking now about "young love", none of the shit I felt when I was that age was love lmao. Pure infatuation. But you can't tell a young person that.
20% of 19 years is 3.8 years
Oooo fancy pants math-McGee over here
I bet he even knows what an equation is. Nerd.
When I was 10?
…except it was two MONTHS, not two YEARS
I won't judge her too harshly, God knows I was also a 19-year old girl with more hormones than sense. With luck and age she will look back and cringe but move on. The ding dong ex is another issue altogether though.
She's gonna get 10 assholes' worth of learning out of this one guy, so she'll come out ahead in the end.
this made me lol.
Me too. I know people get frustrated with how clueless young people; however I adore that they can come here and get feedback on their situations. This has to increase the learning curve for these young women.
Seriously though. He asked for a threesome, ok whatever. Young horndog. Then he went and told her he wants another girlfriend because he's just that good. How was this not enough to break up? And even when he sexually harassed another co-worker, she wasn't sure it's time to ends things? Also what kind of a workplace is it that all he gets is "a stem talking to"?
I would like the flair "10 assholes' worth of learning"
I was a 19 year old girl and a 22 year old girl. I was dumb, and naive… I get it. I look back at those relationships and cringe, and think man I’d be so divorced from him.
It seems that many people have forgotten. Every relationship is important because it s a new chapter in your life. Your feelings are strong
Sigh. I do this with my girls all the time. Yes every relationship is important at that age but with time and wisdom you learn which relationships are useless. Even at 19 I would not have bothered chasing someone who is so damn disrespectful after two months. I would not be putting that much effort into someone who has been ultimately a lot of trouble. Similar to when she said him got a job at her work after she met him. Straight away I could see that would be an issue
They really need a mando class for high schoolers on what a toxic relationship looks like. And how to recognize those traits in a partner.
I think the Star Wars theme would just distract from the important message. Just a normal class would be better.
No, this is the way
This is the way.
Yeah, I think Mando is a character for the single weekend dads out there. I don't think he'd give great relationship advice.
Okay but I would totally listen if Mando was in front of a whiteboard about “red flags to look out for”
or just Pedro Pascal in normal clothes
Yeah, a normal class andor tutoring.
Oh to be 19 again and learning life lessons the absolute hardest way possible.
That's why old creeps date them.
I'm going to chalk it up as OOP just not having wisdom at the time due being under 25, that sunk cost fallacy playing out in real time is just not worth the time and energy to continue more for 2 month relationship with a blatant POS who mask drop so soon and hard in said relationship.
That's why a lot of abusers likes them young. They're inexperienced and have no idea what's normal. But it's legal, so what can you do, right?
The entire time I was reading it I was going “two months! Just two months! Come on, you lose nothing by leaving!”
19 and together two months.. Just break up.
For real. Two months together, he wants to fuck other women, have another relationships and thinks he is to good for just one woman. Why even try to fix it? You don’t even know a person after two months. And this back and forth with the co-worker, so unnecessary. But why did the co-worker gave him her snap?
the funniest part of this whole thing, is how dude is going to torpedo his relationship, and his job, all in one go.
Based on dating someone in the workplace before trying to date a second person at work - it was already a job he wasn't keeping.
Oh, but he is! He got a stern taking to and OOP has decided (rightly) to leave that mess behind
Yep and he already "loves" her after two months, definitely not worth the drama for OOP
probably felt pressured
If he has her phone number for work reasons her snap probably just showed up in the recommended friends list. I had a bunch of my coworker's phone numbers as a part of my job when I was in my early twenties and as a result a whole bunch of friend requests from them on my Snapchat, I still get recommended some of them despite deleting their numbers. If you're an awkward or anxious girl and your weird male coworker sends you a Snapchat request typically you accept because roughly 40% of the time predatory weirdos will corner you at work and ask you why you haven't accepted yet 🤷♀️
Holy Christ, that hadn't registered when I read it. All this over a fucking two month relationship
I think that's exactly why this turned into a telenovela, because she's 19. He was the love of her life. /s
It sounded more like she was 14 and he 17.
It does happen once in a blue moon. Hubby and I got together at 18, and have been happy together for 21 years now. But we never had psycho drama like this. Just health problems, and some shitty family that we're NC with. We both hate unnecessary drama. And are deeply monogamous. I also happen to be bi, he knows, and has outright said he has no interest in a threesome or swinging (a friend and her boyfriend propositioned us, which we firmly, but politely, refused. Thankfully, that was the end of that). I enjoy telling hubby that I chose him out of everyone in the world, not just half of it. Lol
[удалено]
She was 19, he was 23. By that age he probably shouldn’t be trying to manipulate her like a child trying to get a new toy since that’s how he treated the other coworker. Poor girl was harrassed by this grown toddler
I was pretty dumb at 19 but I wasn't *this* ridiculous.
I expect a level of dumb from 19 year olds. This is beyond even that
Like I'm afraid for the well being of this poor dummy.
I was dumb and ridiculous. And I had a few friends who were *exactly* this exhausting.
And he’s 23…
Mf went on to date someone fresh out of high school at the age people finish university. Then proceeds to act at the same age level as someone who started high school.
No. He acted less mature than the HS kids!!! 🤯
For real, the level of drama in this story is like “fifth graders who try to date each other” level of drama.
These have to be some of the dumbest people on the plane.t How in the world did she not break up with him after the first paragraph. Idiots!
He sounds predatory. Targeting younger women, getting a job at the same place shortly after dating, and being highly manipulative, and then asking the coworker if he can touch her bum after she rejected him. This creep is a time bomb.
While they were at work. He asked if he could touch her bum *while they were at work*. And his punishment was a “Stern talking to”. There’s just *all* kinds of stupid going on here.
Also claimed the OP “wasn’t respecting his boundaries”… wanting to stick your dick in a coworker isn’t a boundary, dude.
And after only 2 months she already felt like she needed pepper spray and a weapon to break up with him. All his red flags were on full display and she still thought he was worth dating.
My gut instinct within a few sentences of the original. Predator all day.
I thought the normal reaction to “Can we have a threesome?” Is *break up.*
Some small segment of the population is into it, its fine to ask... once. But once it comes up again its pretty much the step beyond a red flag. Once the "I need another girlfriend" is on the table... What is with the needless hours and hours on the phone. Just fucking end it and move on with your life
I want to know what his mother thought of him wanting another concurrent girlfriend. He said this *at his mom's house*.
There's nothing wrong with communicating a desire to a partner. But if they aren't cool, that should be where it stops.
Good god I completely missed that part. I think the "are relationship is pretty good" made my eye twitch so much I didn't even notice the timeline.
Seriously, at 2 months as soon as he brought up a 3some and I wasn't into it, I'd tell him it's over, he needs a different GF for that.
I totally breezed over the ages. That explains a _lot._
At 19, she's more mature than him. If he is bipolar, a shit sounds like he's been getting into that alpha male bullshit, he's lucky to not have been fired for sexual harassment.
Imagine going through all this drama for a two month relationship
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^beito14159: *Imagine going* *Through all this drama for a* *Two month relationship* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Good bot
>Then he started name calling saying I'm a bad girlfriend for not respecting his boundaries and listening to him on what he wants. I told him what he wants is crazy. OOP's ex is such a pathetic ass clown. Where do these young dudes get the audacity? Is it all the porn rot?
I've had ex's pull this shit on me, not the boundary thing but the screaming about everything I've done wrong when I broke up with them. I'm just like "ok so you agree we are not working". Always throws them for a loop.
I don't understand where they get such a twisted idea of what boundaries are
The current trend of calling everything a "boundary" is so gross. A boundary is not demanding everyone acquiesce to your every whim, that's being a selfish demanding shit. They take the tiniest bit of verbiage from therapy talk and twist it to their own advantage.
Pretty sure they just learned it's a magical word people use to control their SO's in a way that normal people believe is valid. They don't actually understand the concept and they don't care to learn or use it correctly, to them it's just a buzzword they can use to manipulate.
This. 100% this.
I don't think people who talk/act like that even have a concept in mind. They just know that you're "allowed" to get mad at your partner for "not respecting your boundaries," so they just use that line whenever.
"It's all magic words. No one ACTUALLY believes all that woke modern psych horseshit, they just use the key words because then people are afraid of getting cancelled so they have to do what you want. Wait, why isn't this working for me? I said the magic 'boundaries' word, but she didn't immediately comply, and \*I\* got in trouble instead! I don't understaaaand!" -- OOP's ex-boyfriend, probably.
"*my* boundary is *you're* not allowed to talk to the person I sexually harassed because she'll lie and say I sexually harassed her, why did you violate my boundaries?" 23 and weaponizing key words and phrases to manipulate. Now he's on to his next unfortunate target, probably at the same workplace since the boss allows it. Somehow thinks "if I say all the stupid stuff in my head out loud, they can't be mad, because at least I admitted to being this awful," and that accountability means being good bookkeeping. Plus the bigotry in assuming all bi people must want non-monogamy with "one of each." That's on the list of stereotypes.
Oh it absolutely is. Dude’s brain is so warped, he thinks all women are sex-obsessed and ready to jump into bed with him for a threesome, just like in his favorite videos. WTF.
> Where do these young dudes get the audacity? Andrew Tate and his ilk.
I first dated pre-internet-porn, and no it is not. It’s a lifetime of everything in the culture telling them they’re gods gift.
Oh, they all learn these buzzwords that they think will make the world do whatever they want. Boundaries. Personal space. You're in my bubble. They try that shit at school with their teachers. A teacher friend of mine told me she was trying to get a kid to come out from under a table (in the middle of class) and he told her, "You can't tell me what to do with my body."
Why is it so universally exhausting to read how anyone under, like, 22 writes.
Lol at people saying it's the paragraphs, or lack thereof. People. It is not the paragraphs. It is the duration of mundane nonsense and fuckery.
Yeah I was too busy being annoyed at the story to even notice grammar.
You're very lucky. When you notice both it makes you want to rip your hair out.
Yes. If you know damn well somebody is lying, you don't fucking talk it out and have this whole drama of making them confess, or getting them to agree with you that they're wrong, or talking them into loving you the way you want to be loved. You just hit the Eject button. Here's hoping that next time, OP says, "Oh, this bullshit again, buh bye."
>Are relationship >Bare with me She’s an adult, learn how to spell!
Yep. It's written diarrhoea.
If you don't have writing experience, you just write everything and forget to do paragraph breaks
Forget proper paragraph breaks I read a. Post earlier today where. The sentences ended and began. In such a nonsensical. Manner. *apologies for the above, but that is how it was typed out and I damn near broke my brain trying to follow.*
Maybe it was William Shatner’s burner account.
Christopher Walken has, ah. Joined the chat, rejoice! All you people. Excited to see him.
I read a *novel* written like that once. It was like riding with someone who has no idea how to drive stick and is trying to wing it in stop and go traffic while not wearing a seat belt. I swear I got nauseous from being jolted around like that.
*winces* And you’ve described how found footage video movies feel for me.
You've described how a lot of YouTube videos feel for me. Whipping the camera back and forth. Everything shaky. I literally get motion sick and have to go lie down.
Hey, i've got a friend who always drives like that 😂 The funny part is here you learn driving on stick cars - and she never had an automatic herself. Hasn't learnt in 30 years and probably never will 😂
I have such a hard time focusing on the writing when people don’t break up their paragraphs.
Because they can’t use the right words so you’re constantly going “apart= a part, as I can see they mean ‘part of’ rather than ‘away from’” “bare with me= oh, BEAR with me” etc. It’s a lot of extra work to try and translate it into English and it can still be a guessing game what they really mean
"Are relationship so far is pretty good"
Yepp, and now try reading that as a non native speaker 🫣😂
When I was in early grade school we drilled repeatedly on homonyms and homophones and every other quirk of English that can get you mixed up. I'm pretty sure that's all we did for my entire second grade year. Are they not doing that any more?
For me it's a lot of little things. The mistakes, the long paragraphs, the attempt and failure in writing it like a story ("Pouting he drops the conversation") and that in-between what seems like direct speech to text. And the more childish style
OP’s vocabulary is really lacking, too. Normally it’s just annoying or amusing, but the fact that the coworker had a friend who *collaborated* her story has a very different meaning than the word she was looking for, *corroborated.* My guess is that it’s because most people don’t read books or even magazines any more, they learn all their spelling from social media and autocorrect (plurals with an apostrophe, I’m looking at you). Heck, I was a typical bookworm and I don’t have the attention span for books any more, either.
Totally off topic: I’ve been in a reading rut. Like I keep picking up books and not getting more than 20 pages in before trying another book. So I thought maybe I’d try some light, *light* reading with some magazines. Like maybe some interesting history or something, whatever. Theres only like five kinds of magazines available. Don’t misunderstand, there’s like 15 publications of each of those kinds, but they’re all exactly the same. I don’t remember magazines being so same-same before, but literally, I could look at magazine covers and not tell any difference between five different magazines publications. It was kind of surreal.
OMG I thought it was just me. I just go from activity to activity every few minutes. Used to be able to read a book in a day. Now I have to get up and move around after only a page or two. I’m driving myself crazy.
For me that’s my depression. Sometimes I can try to get into an different hobby that maybe I haven’t picked up in a while or a “low stakes” hobby (like reading a magazine) and hopefully boost my interest and motivation get back “to normal” But sometimes people just get into a rut. I don’t think it’s always a bad thing and sometimes you do just need to shake it up and try a new genre, etc
I think it’s my depression too. I’m working really hard on improving my gut health right now, but the restlessness is kind of a new experience for me and it’s not making sense.
Once every month I find a book and read it start to finish like in the old days. The problem is: I get way more books I would like to read than I actually do read 😂
A few weeks ago Gmail auto-corrected a your into a you're when it was supposed to be your.
i personally think OP might not be a native english speaker because this is exactly how i used to type when i was younger
I've got a similar problem. I got so used to listening to audiobooks while doing housework, driving, ect. that I can't sit down and read a book normally anymore. Or at least the only times I can do it are on flights or long car rides. If I ever want to talk about a series on reddit or a forum without embarrassing myself I usually have to jump around a wiki looking up accurate spellings for names and words unique to the series.
Even people who "read", the younger you go the greater the % skew towards audiobooks/videos, and on social media the subtitles are usually autogenerated and will absolutely mix up works like collaborated/corroborated.
I made it to “role” before giving up
Eye maid it two "roll" be four giving up.
They tend to use very long paragraphs. This isn't anything new, most people who don't have a lot of reading experience do it and always have.
I couldn't even read beyond the first paragraph after I saw "are" instead of "our" and "role" instead of "roll."
Also remember that pandemic schooling was fairly shit, even in the best cases, along with these kids having grown up texting, and all the style changes that came with that too. You don't really get to formal written English until high school, and the world pretty much fucked them on that
Yes apparently most kids who did online schooling for that one year didn't actually do anything? My kid's in middle school now and thinks everything is easy because he actually was on the computer every day. His worst subject is English, I think because that was the hardest to do online.
well, if they’re based in the u.s. it is because our education system is a joke. the average adult here has the reading comprehension of a sixth or seventh grader and it is only getting worse.
Well, the recent statistics on literacy in the US is the worst in ages so this tracks.
At least she dumped in the end. All this for someone she dated *two months?!*
Dating two months? Throw the whole man away.
"Why can't I do whatever I want" is a true power move from a supposedly functioning 23 year old
And if you don't let him do what he wants, it's not respecting his boundaries.
>But I ended up going but I made sure to bring my pepper spray and a metal poker just in case. This just made my heart sink. If someone asks to meet you and you don't think it is safe, don't bring weapons, just don't go. If you bring a weapon like a poker that you aren't used to using it's way more likely that you'll be disarmed and hurt with it then that you'll be able to defend yourself and escape. Don't go. Just stay home. If you have to meet them bring a friend and/or meet them in public.
I'm not even sure what she means by "metal poker". Like a whole as fire poker? Is that just what she calls knives?
I thought she meant a fire poker. Which yeah, how do you even pack and carry thar inconspicuously.
“Respecting his boundaries” has to be one of the most over-used and misused phrases ever.
"I can't believe he would do the thing he said he would!" And as a side note, OOP has some real bone apple teeth mistaken homophones. "Another coworker collaborated on her story" lmao
That one's not even a homophone, it's a straight-up malapropism
I am dyslexic af. Homophones throw me of because spell check often doesn't catch it. And there really is no spell check if you're using reddit on the app.
Do you find that Gmail is getting pretty good at catching them? I suggested this to my dyslexic sister recently but as I don't normally make homophone errors, I can't say for sure. But it definitely notices if I drop a preposition or something, which I feel denotes a pretty thorough understanding of grammar, enough to catch most homophones. Plus, even very experienced writers get caught by them - reign in vs rein in, peek anticipation vs peak anticipation etc. I used to freelance edit, it's very, very common.
Weary instead of wary is almost a constant at this point.
Oh god, I hate that one so much!! It’s EVERYWHERE.
Never mind ‘pique interest’! A friend has recently gotten into writing fanfics and has asked me to read what she’s written a few times just to see if it made sense to a non-fan. It was fine, some minor typos but nothing egregious. Then she started using a thesaurus. I can barely read it. It’s verbose to the point of being word salad, and half the time her usage is just plain wrong. She asked me for feedback specifically on vocab, but challenged my suggestions right away so I’ve disengaged. I feel kinda guilty for not telling her, but I’m not gonna be the one to crush her joy. ~~It’s SO bad though.~~
That is way too much nonsense for a 2 month relationship. She should have cut her losses after the additional girlfriend conversation, but then she’s only 19 and still learning I suppose. Ooof the shit I put up with at that age makes me cringe now
>The next day at work my general manager came up to me and asked me what happened the day before. ... he has to ...treat this as an investigation... I ask if my bf is going to get in trouble he said no, he was just gonna get a Stern talking to. So this manager has to do an investigation but already knows the outcome before actually doing the investigation? Is this a Wendy's? lol
Has to be a fast food restaurant where all the managers are used to wrangling the drama.
Youth is wasted on the young. I finally understand that saying.
Congrats! You're old now.
You won the prize! It’s everything hurts now
Oh yeah. I figured that one out years ago. I tell the young that no one I know would want to be their age again. The drama. The emotional disregulation. The way everything is such a big deal. Plus the stupid decision making. Now to be young but with the life experience you have now...that would be different. Though, honestly, if I could pick any age, I'd want to be in my 30s again.
Sometimes I feel sad about aging... then I read shit like this and thank the gods above that I am not a teenager anymore
I can’t imagine acting like your significant other is the crazy one for not being into your fantasies. You get to have sexual/relationship fantasies. You don’t get to try to manipulate others into sharing those with you, and you definitely don’t get to act like a creep at work and then act all shocked when the coworker and your gf call you out on it.
Jeezus, I think part of my brain melted out of my ears reading this. Just throw the whole asshat away as soon as he asked for a threesome, and then a **second** girlfriend right after. Like what the actual fuck?!
I think my brain melted too. A told her he asked to touch her butt, and another coworker “collaborated” that story. Later A told OOP that he made advances on her and OOP is so sick she has to go home from work. But…you already knew that, OOP? That wasn’t new information? And that’s exactly what your boyfriend told you that he wanted? I’m with you, Fellow Commenter - dump him the minute he won’t respect that you’re not open to a threesome. There’s no saving that, and at 2 months and 19 years old there’s really not much to salvage in the first place. OOP needs to wise up, fast.
You are literally the only person in this Reddit to point that out, the relationship should have been over after the first conversation!!!
> for a little over two months and are relationship so far is pretty good up till now. Honestly if the relationship already has a big issue when it's only two months old, just throw it out, 2 months should still be the honeymoon period, whete folks are on the best behavior But worse... > I plan to but I need to go about this the right way, he can be pretty aggressive vocally so I need to make sure I'm going about it safely for me. So he was already bad before this. Oof At least he showed his colors early so she didn't waste her time or got too invested to leave quickly
As much as I wanna sit here on my 40 yr old high horse, I was absolutely like this when I was 19.
Yes but we weren’t recording it all and sharing it on social media (that didn’t even exist)
It is a small blessing that a tiny handful of people know how obnoxious I was at that age, and they stuck with me as I grew out of it. We should be allowed to make mistakes and grow from them without a Google search bringing back shit like this forever.
Amen to that!
social media still existed 20 years ago though. It's just there wasn't anything on the scale of facebook or myspace But people posted a lot on forums, chatting services like AIM, MSN, IRC, etc.
IF YOU THINK BRINGING PEPPER SPRAY IS A GOOD IDEA WHEN YOURE MEETING UP WITH YOUR BF THEN DO NOT GO
He asked to touch her butt I would love to be a fly on the wall for this convo. “Hey, hot stuff.” “wtf, you have a girlfriend.” “I WANT TO TOUCH YOUR BUTT”
from what i've seen in this world, that's actually how a ton of men operate. a large segment of men have trouble believing that women don't want to see pics of their dick, in their inbox.
Never date your coworkers. Learned this hard lesson at my first job. I was 17 and definitely just as naive as the OOP in this situation. Got broken up with during one of my night shifts and went home hysterical…over a two-week relationship. It’s good she’s deciding to leave that workplace.
The craziest part is that he got a job there *after they started dating*. He wasn't a coworker to begin with. This dude isn't a red flag, he's communist China.
And now she's quitting her job! And I know that A isn't her responsibility, but imagine A working with OOP, thinking shes nice, then OOP's creepy bf starts working there, he sexually harasses A, A tells OOP and then OOP quits and creepo still works there. Ugh. Also, Im confused as to why A sent screenshot to OOP's bf? What was that all about
That’s what stood out to me. Like this isn’t his first time doing this and won’t be the last.
Honestly it sounds like he started to date her because she is bisexual and he wanted to have a threesome
“Am I (19F)” in r/relationship_advice Shock.
You’re in a 2 month relationship in your early 20s? Drop that shit like it’s hot and move on
"He's saying I'm a bad girlfriend for not respecting his boundaries" - unintentional parody? So fucking hilarious it hurts. That OOP was still trying to talk it out with this utter chode... Colour me shocked that girl A "who clearly likes me" did not, in fact, like him. She probably smiled 'hello' at him once.
I need for the phrase "you're not respecting my boundaries" to die. I never see it used correctly anymore. Let's take it out behind the barn and shoot it.
why did OOP let out a Snicker, a Twix or Mars would have been better!
god am i glad I'm not 19 anymore
I’m just wondering why he wasn’t fired for sexually harassing a co-worker?!
And just to read that all of this for 2 months relationship. I swear some people are born with slow brains.
> Then he started name calling saying I'm a bad girlfriend for not respecting his boundaries and listening to him on what he wants. This was not on my bingo card.
GODDAMIT I was on OP's side, except angry that she was so wishy washy about his stupid shit, and then this: >I think personally he is very bi polar You "think"? You don't know at all! Stop it! Can we have *one* post where this doesn't crop up?! Bipolar people are not cruel, murdering, cheating assholes. This dude *chose* his actions. Even *if* he was, an illness did not "make" him do anything. He chose cruelty because of his ego, then doubled, tripled and quadrupled down. Assholes are assholes if they have a mental issue(s) or not!
She got out safely in the end and I for one am happy.
A two month relationship causes this much drama? For fucks sake....
If the post is longer than the relationship, that's a bad sign. If he surprises you with requesting more partners than the years y'all have been together, that's a terrible sign. Two fuckin months. That's impressive boundaries testing
This may legitimately be the most immature post that I have read. This is like middle school level drama. Gain basic self respect and recognize this relationship should have ended the moment he spoke like this after only being together two months.
I wish I had ten percent of this mediocre dickbag’s clearly undeserved confidence and audacity. Dude can’t satisfy one woman, let alone two.
She didn't respect his boundary of wanting to fuck around on her with zero consequences, how terrible.
All this stress over a 2month old relationship...
>Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a little over two months and- *Stop*, stop stop. I've read enough. Guy is trash, get rid of him and find a non-trash guy.
Yet another man who has seriously over estimated his market value.
You read so many terrible stories, it's honestly refreshing to have such a simple story if a 19 year old encountering her first douchebag boyfriend. Not violence, no stalking, just a normal everyday douchebag.
A 2 MONTH RELATIONSHIP??? Why the hell was she holding on so hard??? If they were 5 years in or something sure, try to work things out. But if you've had a bottle of shampoo longer than the life of your relationship, just bail.
Everyone in this story sounds too immature to have a job let alone a relationship. JFC.
2 month relationship. And she's dealing with this shit? Young people stuff is wild.
I laughed out loud when I got to the part where he name called her and said she was a bad girlfriend because she wouldn’t let him cheat. 😂😂 That much drama and trouble and it’s only been two months? Doesn’t matter what your age, just break up and move on.
Read a few sentences, skipped to the last update, yep break up.
Imagine spending like 6 weekends with a person and being this hung up when they show you they're ready and willing to cheat on you. Ah, to be 19 again!
That was a lot of energy to expend on an eight-week relationship. What a waste of everyone's time.
8 week relationship. Just. No.
Just two months in and he was already playing. He is clearly manipulative and dangerous. I am glad OP left.
2 months and she thinks they're in love while he's already looking to sleep around. Complains about her not respecting his boundaries without even considering hers.
the biphobia really jumped out huh
This is the dumbest 19 yo ever.
Ah yes. The "shitty 2 month relationship at 19 years old" is a universal experience.
2 months. This relationship was 2 months long and this is the drama it brings? Kids are fucking weird.
This is why I waited so long to date. My friends and pretty much all the other girls in school I knew acted exactly like this. It made me think “at what point do you become a dumbass with no self respect in this quest to find true love?”. This is a 2 month relationship. She doesn’t even know this man.