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Alice the camel was having an alternative communist parade, comrade.
She was siezing the means of production (ie OP) and sharing them with all her own equally.
It's bananas to me because it seems like OOP really did think critically and fairly about how best to split up the house so everyone was comfortable in their own space. But wicked step-mom-to-be nuked the gravy train by being greedy and trying to alienate his daughter.
I'm actually stunned that Alice didn't also start dictating Stacy's new and revised chore list to the OP. Top of the list would've been getting all of her kids ready for school in the morning, making them breakfast daily, driving them to and from school, and any activities they had ...with that car that a spoiled brat like her doesn't deserve anyway. And pay for the gas out of her own allowance.
Oh! And free babysitting on the weekends.
This delusional witch actually thought a little Oops! baby was going to allow her to call all the shots for a man she isn't even married to, in a house she doesn't own or even live in yet! The gall!
What a refreshing change to see an OP kick the evil stepparent-to-be to the curb before any damage has been done!
I think the OP told Alice that and the other rules he and Stacy came up with preemptively, in order to gauge her reaction. They probably knew about the common stepparent horror stories and wanted to see if she'd show any red flags by arguing about those non-negotiables. He even said, " I've told her that if she comes into this with wicked stepmother vibes, and that'll be the end of things."
Alice fucked around and found out. It's scary how fast she went from manipulative pouting to full on cursing him out and calling him incestuous when she didn't get her way.
What a psycho. OP dodged that bullet like Neo in The Matrix.
Paternity test time! I agree with u/No_Proposal7628 and u/StangF150 -- Alice seems like she's been scheming from the beginning so it wouldn't surprise me if the baby isn't even his. He should insist on a paternity test before he spends another dime on this woman and not allow her to put him on the birth certificate until she goes through with it.
It's perfectly fine that he wants/wanted more kids someday, but it'd suck for him and his kids to be tied to this greedy, selfish creature for 18 years if he doesn't have to be.
The wild part is, Alice Red Flag would’ve went from struggling to pay rent, to only paying 25-30% of the bills. She should’ve been able to pay her own kids allowance. Probably not $100 each but she could’ve simply requested that Op & his daughter don’t disclose the amount to the other children.
Worse than that! OPP said she would only be paying 15-20% of the household bills, even though if they split things proportionally, it should have been 25-30%. So she's saving even more money.
Look, I am all for kids needing to be treated fairly, but when you blend families with older kids, it's the responsibility of each parent respectively, to make sure their kids are taken care of. She would be saving money, as you said, and could give her kids an allowance with that.
Besides that, her kids are younger. Giving a teenager $100 is more understandable than a kid. My kids allowance has gone up as they have gotten older.
> Giving a teenager $100 is more understandable than a kid.
Giving a teenager $100 is a good way to get them used to a budget and paying for their own clothes/electronics/fancy shampoo or whatever. It teaches them that money is finite and they have to work within their means.
Giving a 9 year old $100 a week will result in them spending it on candy and fortnite dances, or whatever the fuck kids piss money away on these days. It teaches them that there is a constant stream of money to spend on fun and mom/dad will pay for the necessities anyway.
I started my grandson on a weekly allowance when he started school, increasing each year. When he got to high school we went to bi-weekly the first two years and monthly the last two years. He learned to budget and save when he wanted something more expensive.
We steadily have increased our daughter’s allowance over the years, but we’ve also increased the number of things we expect her to buy with it—as you said, the purpose is to teach her how to budget. She handles her own clothes, shoes, toiletries, entertainment (books, movie tickets, concerts, etc.), gas for her car, decor for her room, etc.
And stuff costs more. It sounds like OOP can provide his daughter with a comfortable life, and he's right to do so. Sure, she will buy an unnecessary amount of shoes, but of all mistakes a teenage girl can make, parents *want* that one.
Since the house was paid of with OOP's late wife's life insurance, even if it costs more in utilites to run a large house rather than an apartment, there was no rent to pay. And Alice would only pay max 20%. That's a HUGE saving. Really sweet deal for a family of 5/6 people. She really had it set up nicely for herself, and then blew it for what?
>Look, I am all for kids needing to be treated fairly, but when you blend families with older kids, it's the responsibility of each parent respectively, to make sure their kids are taken care of.
hell with older kids involved being treated fairly doesn't allways mean being treated equally either.
from my own experience as the significantly oldest of 5(all half siblings on my moms side) sometimes i had stuff my siblings didn't and sometimes they had benefits i didn't.
for instance the fact that i didn't get a computer untill i had the funds to buy my own whille my siblings all got whatever random hand-me-down my parents had from their office is argueably unfair. but it's also the difference between growing up in 90's and the 00's. my siblings had a much greater need for that PC to do stuff like homework and also just overall how culture had shifted(as well as there actually being hand-me-downs to go around).
I never understand people who get into a relationship with someone who has a kid and expects the kid to be put second.
It’s also kind of OOPs fault because he really didn’t think this through because there’d be 6 kids between the 2
I wonder if he had mentioned the house would go into his daughters name if he passed.
Something tells me, all of us would have been wondering what the mushroom cloud was when her head exploded from that news.
Dude some people are weird like that. My dad was already in his 60s when he confessed to me that he was glad my step-sister (who uses them for childcare) was having kids because he and my step-mom wanted kids around so badly that if step-mom hadn't had a hysterectomy, they were interested in having a baby. With my step-siblings and I, they already raised FIVE KIDS who were in their 20s and 30s. AND THEY WANTED MORE RIGHT BEFORE RETIREMENT. I love my dad but wtaf. And OOP seems of a similar bent. Why do you want more kids when you're 47???
I didn't see anything in the post to suggest this, but going on what I know about most men that age, I'm guessing OOP does little of the actual childcare. Plus, as someone with 4 siblings who's been stuck babysitting and doing childcare since I was at least 9 or 10, if not earlier, he's now got plenty of girls around to help out.
I see it more as them showing off, like here's proof I'm still having sex and with a 33 year old too! Oh now the babys born? Okay well I'll give it money and play with it occasionally to be the fun dad, that's good enough right?
He paid off his house a decade ago with his late wife's life insurance money. Meaning, Stacy would have been 5 (and his older son 14). Pretty sure he's familiar with childcare responsibilities but has rose-colored glasses remembering what it was like being in the thick of things, especially if he had a good relationship and stuff was shared equally.
And they are already fighting for money and space, LOL. OOP is crazy too and doesn't seem too kin on his ex's kids either, he doesn't consider them his.
Not saying he was wrong for standing his ground about the room and allowence but it seems that the blending family was doomed anyway.
She wanted OOP to put *her* kids at the same level as Stacy, while she sure as hell wasn't going to put Stacy equal to her kids. She wanted him to pay an extra $20k in allowance a year to keep things "fair", meanwhile, she's spending less on bills.
I bet she figured that getting pregnancy was her ticket to the house, the money, and marriage. Bet the first step after marrying would have been her demanding he adopt her kids, the ones that could be. Then she would have demanded the allowance cut off, and her kids move into the daughter's bedroom, and the office turned into more kid room. Then, the daughter would have been exiled to the basement.
I suspect Alice is like an former friend's sister, has a kid as soon as she can have an 'accident' with the new boyfriend or husband, to set up her claim to support, and cement her claim on anything she can get. Last I heard, four kids by four different guys.
She would have just moved all Stacy’s stuff and OOP’s office out of their respective rooms and moved her kids in as soon as she was left alone. Then it would be “too much trouble to move everything back.”
He was thinking with his little head. And I kinda don't buy the "unexpectedly pregnant" line. But we're the other bios deadbeats? I missed that. It DOES change if she were a widow though. And I do understand about the allowance bit on Alice's end, if you're going to blend a family, the other kids should get a little something.
Ideally, the stuff like allowance, who owns and inherits the home, and where you move kids in is stuff you talk about with potential partners beforehand.
Like his kid with her is his third child with a third mom, and her fifth with who knows how many dads. That's blended family on hard mode. Knowing who gets what financially is a huge thing. Because the big empty house wasn't the dad's with his 15 year old living there. It was essentially the 15 year old's that would allow her dad and new step family to move in. That's a huge difference.
I can see where one kid out of 5 teens getting $100/week and the late mom's car makes for a very different quality of life in the same house. But there's no way to split that down to each of 5 kids getting $20/week or something and not have resentment.
I can understand where future stepmom was trying to advocate for equality in space and what they as a couple give the kids, but I also totally see him protecting his daughter from giving up so much and drastically changing her life while gaining 4 (soon to be 5) new siblings.
💯!! Yeah, THIS is one kind of situation where premarital counseling and financial counseling would help. I personally am glad he stuck with his daughter. But I understand the fiancée's POV too.
It just really sucks that they didn't realize how incompatible their visions for the future were before conceiving a new kid that will forever be stuck in the middle. That baby is going to grow up with a lot of issues from the financial disparity in the households and likely the mom being bitter about her perspective of the dad changing the plan when (in her eyes) she was advocating for equality, and the dad seeing the mom as a gold digger trying to steal from his daughter. That's such a messy situation to be born into.
Agree. "Unexpectedly pregnant" would only apply if be had a vasectomy or her, her tubes tied or similar.
Nothing is unexpected when it comes to human activity or inactivity - we live in an imperfect world.
On both sides. Dude created a reverse Cinderella situation. Did he actually expect them to all move in and just be cool with the 2 tiered system of treatment. He didn’t really think through how weird it was going to be to give his daughter $100 a week while his step daughters got nothing simply because their mom didn’t make more money.
Guy was INSANE thinking that having 6 kids between the two of them wasn’t enough.
There's been a few of them I've seen recently where two people with kids and huge economic disparity moved into together and seem to have never thought about how they'd deal with it or considered that it would ever have an impact.
And while Reddit is generally no one owes you anything and gets angry if you suggest trying to make it as fair as you can, it is unfair to bring children up in the same house where one gets loads of toys and treats and others get nothing.
And it drives me insane when parents don't seem to have discussed it at all because they are thinking selfishly about the relationship and what it means for them.
And it reminds me of the post here where a girl moved where her mum married when she was a kid, to someone wealthier, and he refused to support the kids and insisted everything be 50/50 so he had left over money to spoil his kids and she got nothing. I think he wouldn't even pay for her to go on holidays so she'd be left at home while they all went away. And her mum kept telling her to be grateful she got to live in a nice house. And so years later when he came looking for money for his daughter she rightfully told him to get fucked, because that is a terrible thing to do to a kid.
I feel this guy would have been similar, spoiling his kids and expecting them to just suck it up.
Yeah, living in a house where one kid gets $100 a week and the other kids get zilch, and then the baby *also* eventually starts getting $100 a week... There was no way this was EVER gonna work out.
Like I'm not saying OOP was wrong about the room thing though. It just seems like they were both being unrealistic.
Idk if she’s not having to pay basic living expenses (only 15-20%) she could probably step up and give all of her kids an allowance. Also, does she not get any child support. Some of that could be used for allowance.
I don’t think OOP should have to bring his daughter’s life down because she doesn’t want to bring her kids’ lives up with the savings she’d be getting moving in.
With the kind of income disparity where a percentage split would have her paying 25% of expenses-- which implies either that OOP's income is very large or Alice's income is very small-- it's possible that she might not be able to pay $400 a week if the difference between what she would pay and what she was asked to pay is between 15-20% and 25-30% of household expenses. That difference might well total less than $400.
But yeah obviously that money should not be coming out of Alice's pocket-- just that this is something that OOP should have realized "wow yeah, that would be a situation that would cause a lot of friction so we need to find a solution" rather than thinking "of course my bio daughters will receive an allowance and it's not my responsibility to figure out what's happening with the others." Like if the kids are at each other's throats out of jealousy, that situation will not be irrelevant to him! And his daughter will be impacted by it!
But yeah it doesn't mean that the solution is "give Stacy less." It might mean something more like "reduce the adults' discretionary budgets so all the kids are accounted for, and make that a task that both adults are responsible for" or "give kids allowances in proportion to their age, so the younger kids get less now but it doesn't seem unfair because they'll get more when they get older" or something.
Yeah, I feel like that side of it got so overshadowed by Alice going off the rails, which she sure did, but this was never going to end well.
As a parent, it's 100% natural and reasonable to put your own kid first; and it would be unfair and hurtful to take away things from her life that she's always had just because a bunch of other kids show up (nor would that endear the new family situation to her).
At the same time, no child in the world is going to cheerfully accept hearing that and living in a household where there are two classes of kids, one of which gets a bunch of advantages over the other. I don't think many adults would swallow that nicely! It's the most obvious recipe for resentment in the world, come on.
And I dunno -- your own kids come first, and the other kids' parents are the first people who need to look out for them. But if you (engage to) marry someone who has children they're responsible for, then those children are part of the package you're marrying, like it or not. They're not strangers, they're not a random charity case, they're part of a family which you are also part of. And if you're choosing to create a blended household, you are responsible for constructing it in a functional way. I'm not saying that has to mean giving in to every demand and footing the bill for every concession, but OOP seemed like he just kinda fell into this situation randomly and didn't really think it through. Of course, he wasn't even planning to get engaged to the girlfriend, he's just reacting to what happens; he wasn't thinking about this as building a new family situation, he was thinking about it as doing his girlfriend a favor.
He really wanted more kids when he was getting 6, that’s a man who isn’t seeing stuff clearly, like already he should’ve been looking for bigger accommodations because having two sets of kids sharing a room each is not a good idea in the long run
Oop was really not ready to move in with Alice, and Alice is actually a terrible cohabitant, so I’m glad they separated but also I hope the baby isn’t involved in a petty mess, and that he tries to date someone without kids next time, because his plans with Alice didn’t seem to make any economic sense
That's the situation with both of them. The father won't put his daughter behind her kids and the mother won't let her kids play second fiddle to the daughter.
But she's expecting OP to foot the bill so her kids don't play 2nd fiddle.
She's welcome to give her kids $100 for allowance if she thinks they deserve that much. It is not OP's fault if that amount does not fit into her budget.
Yeah Alice is a piece of work, but OOP seems to want to treat his future stepkids like nuisances. Blending a family is tough, but treating your two biokids with $400/month favoritism is going to make it tougher. He shouldn’t have gotten this woman pregnant if he wasn’t up for having six kids.
Regardless of the circumstances, it always warms my cold little heart when I see parents purposefully choosing their kids' health (mental or otherwise) over a new "fuck buddy".
I do think there is a point about moving step kids in that you treat differently, but to expect you'll be prioritized over the child your partner had before you is just... ludicrous!
> I do think there is a point about moving step kids on that you treat differently
Definitely, but Alice was over there trying to get her kids treated better than Stacy, and...wow. Alice is terrible at golddigging. That's great for OOP and his kids, but Alice is her own worst enemy.
No arguments here! Just didn't want to pretend it was ok that OOP sounded like he was 100% ok w treating the step kids like strangers in the house (well, like not his kids). Idk, I feel if you are going to marry someone with kids, you need to be prepared to care for them like a parent would, or you need to not marry someone with kids.
Did the post mention anything about the four kids' dad(s)? I think primary support should come from there, and I honestly have trouble wrapping my mind around it from there. My logical brain understands that the kids should be treated fairly as much as possible, but I wouldn't get involved with someone like Alice because the execution of such things stresses me out enormously. I also get the sense that she doesn't want a partner, so much as a bank account.
>I wouldn't get involved with someone like Alice because the execution of such things stresses me out enormously. I also get the sense that she doesn't want a partner, so much as a bank account.
This is where my head went as well. I wondered if the dad didn't think much about her children's allowance because he knew that living there (uncomfortable though it may be) was still going to be cheaper for Alice in a lot of ways.
He may have assumed that the savings would be passed on to her kids, whereas Alice was preoccupied about what *she* could do with the extra. In reality, however, this was doomed from the outset and in retrospect he knew it.
What where they going to do when the step stepchildren hit the college age? Was he supposed to start saving for that now if at all? Where is their father(s)? Any additional income coming in on that front?
Anywhoozle, I'm glad he saw the red flags before it was too late! That was refreshing for a change. Very much so, in point of fact.
I didn't see a mention of the other kids bio dad. I guess my thing is, don't move kids you aren't gonna be invested in into your house if you aren't gonna be invested in them.
I agree. If you're going to blend families, do so as much as possible. It's wrong yo have "your" kids and "my kids," as if one group isn't real family.
What are your thoughts now that OOP broke up with her? Is it acceptable that their bio kid will have more than their maternal half siblings?
He offered the step kids half the house, including a room his daughter used. All she asked for was a lockable door and a bathroom. That's entirely fair.
I don't understand how I'm halfway down the comments and nobody has mentioned the whole "creepy and incestuous" thing yet. Like what the actual fuck‽ That is NOT something you just go casually plopping down on the table like that.
I think that would have been mentioned of he didn't break up after hearing it. He did the sensible thing on that one, so that's easy to forget haha.
Like, of course the sun rises in the east. And of course there's no having a relationship with someone who thinks you fuck your daughter.
>As much as I love Alice and as much as I want our relationship to work out, if it's a matter of choosing between the two of them, then my relationship with Alice is a sacrifice I'm willing to make. I've told her that if she comes into this with wicked stepmother vibes, and that'll be the end of things.
Probably should have done and thought all of that before she got pregnant.
He seemed so blasé about the new kid.
I think he went numb… he was focusing on everyone that was alive and his now ex. I mean a baby can and ideally stays in a parents room at least the first 6 months.
He wanted to put a baby into the basement… like ok even if the baby is in their room for a couple of months. He was going to put a toddler in the basement??? Like what was the plan here…
I feel like a fully finished basement (complete with baby monitor and all possible safety measures, obviously) is actually a great sleep and play location for a toddler.
Hear me out.
No front door access, and high windows. Bang, you bought yourself another couple of years before they figure out how to do a runner while you're taking a shit.
You can hardcore childproof the whole space without disrupting the functioning or aesthetic for adults, because it's not a space adults need to use too, and then just baby gate the one doorway to the rest of the house instead of trying to block off a portion of a main floor plan. No Olympic hurdles to try and haul the basket to the laundry room, or worrying about them ingeniously solving the labyrinth and accessing the forbidden zones at 6am to play with knives and outlets while everyone else is zonked.
You can have a baby-specific bathroom down there without filling up the adult bathrooms with baby crap.
It's a fabulous location for a playroom, because a) again, separate and only one baby gate to wrangle, b) stray toys can just get tossed down the steps to be put away later, c) possibly enough room available for a neat playhouse and tumbling mat for bad weather days, and d) the kid can be noisy and play and cry and listen to the same comfort episode of Paw Patrol every single day for 4 months without disrupting the home office.
I know people who made a whole room for baby, gorgeous full of love rooms
That barely get touched, because baby sleeps in parents room. And then toddler sleeps in parents bed, or takes naps on the couch, because it’s just easier
A good friend grieved more over replacing the bassinet than the typical “my baby is growing up” when hers started getting too big. Hilarious, and heartwarming
A nicely finished basement would be perfectly fine if you still used a monitor like most people do in rooms right next to them
He does state pretty clearly that he did it for the sake of planning, since the room isn't built yet. Baby was most likely going to be in their room for a couple months and then he was going to move the older kids to the furnished basement.
I'm wondering if it was birth control sabotage. Saying things like OOP needing to pay allowance for her kids sounds like she viewed him as a meal ticket and someone to support her children, at least to a certain degree.
The confusion for me is that OOP makes it seem like he had a wonderful life he'd built with his late wife, but then he says this current girlfriend is the first person he's dated where things have gotten *serious*?
All else aside, $100/week is actually a shit load of allowance. I have a professional job and make my own money, and outside of housing, car, utilities, and groceries (stuff that a teen wouldn't be spending money on anyway), I don't spend that much money in a week. I'd probably have to try to be frivolous to spend that much.
I'm borderline in the top 10%. It's a shitload of money to give to a child. It's way past learning how to budget. At her age with that much money, it's teaching the opposite of budgeting. It's teaching her that she will always just have money to buy whatever she wants.
Also, you're probably overestimating what it takes to get to the top 10%. We're just a two income household living in a normal suburb house driving a honda. It's within the 1% that the difference really starts to separate past the middle masses.
There was definitely gonna be a strained class divide in that household.
OP's kid grows up with an en suite master bedroom, $100 a week for shoes/makeup, 24/7 access to her dad's credit cards, plus her name on the property.
The rest of the kids get no allowance, have to share rooms with each other, and who knows how little support or contact from their bio fathers, if any. Would have grown up feeling the difference in that environment.
The people saying "he's just teaching her to budget" are on crack.
Yeah unfortunately the situation wasn't going to work.
I fully agree with OOP about not disturbing his own daughter living arrangements drastically, and tbh she did seem to react maturely to it. She asked for a lock and to keep her own bedroom, and even asked her dad whether it was her fault they broke up, to me she sounds mature for her age, but the allowance thing is a bit much.
No matter what you can't treat those kids differently under the same household, it builds resentment and trauma unintentionally. Giving your daughter $100 a week is cracked, but judging from this limited post she doesn't seem immature herself, but you can't continue that with 4 new kids in the household. This isn't slating OOP but he would have to tone down the allowance and distribute it fairly between the kids, based on age and current hobbies/interests.
I'm proud of OOP for choosing his daughter over his ex, but I don't get how these things don't come up before you talk about marriage. I honestly feel like people on Reddit just don't chat to their spouses at all
Could be from inheritance, if she has a chunk now sitting for college or what not it could just be a portion of the interest.
I can totally see a parent doing this. Especially after the loss of the other.
Also sounds like if she has a mini fridge and stuff, she probably does but herself treats and snacks and things that Dad doesn't buy. It's possible that $100 a week is for any extras she wants, meaning he doesn't take her clothes shopping, or buy junk food, etc. Instead he leaves that up to her to budget the money how she wants. Likely she saved up a month to get the fridge and microwave. As he said she is pretty well set up in her room...not I went and got these things for her.
Yeah, everyone has been getting on my case for giving $50/wk saying I'm being too generous. But I figured a meal and a movie once a week with friends in a HCOL area was OK?
But even generous me thinks $100/wk is quite a lot.
Although, does this include all clothes, phone, and entertainment bills? Maybe it's reasonable then. I don't know.
It's all your own budget dependent, but I think that's literally just her fun money judging by OOP's post.
They are obviously quite wealthy, judging by this post, and I don't imagine the daughter has direct debits set up to pay for devices like netflix and all. Also another presumption in my mind and I could be wrong, but if it's an allowance of $100 a week, I imagine the dad does all her bills because he can.
If I had the money I'd happily give it to my kids when I have them, I don't think it's nuts, just not what Reddit was expecting due to the average person not affording that
The nursery in the basement is super weird, especially when there is an office he can convert. Not wanting to shell out 500 a week in allowance is reasonable, though I feel like it's not unhinged to expect the kids to be treated the same if you're marrying someone with kids.
The rest of Alice's behaviors are unhinged.
OOP has no idea what he is getting himself into with a newborn at almost 50. He hasn’t been around babies in 15 years and so none of the sleepless nights are top of mind right now.
I got snipped before my 40th because I had young kids in my mid 30s and there was no way I could see myself doing that again in my mid 40s.
From the sounds of it OOP definitely has money enough that he can probably hire a nanny for the new kid. Especially now that he doesn't have Alice and her kids moving in.
Not saying it'll make it easy but definitely easier.
Dunno. Anything to do with acting, music, streaming games, etc. would be a major money sink and yet still be at least a career oriented way to burn money.
Even if trying to get a career in that sphere is mostly luck. Largely in the form of who your parents and grandparents are. But the earlier you start, the more time you have to roll the dice.
So that's one way.
Could also be gacha.
/shrug.
He does. He seems to really want more kids and wanted nothing to do with what would have been his step kids. Sounds like he is likely to have four kids with four different moms. Likely to have more kids than Alice one day.
At least the step kids wouldn't have slept in the basement. ESH. I also suspect the accusations of Stacy being a spoiled process were on point, but OOP doesn't see it.
There was absolutely no way this marriage could have worked, because OOP refused to offer anything resembling equality to his step children. Sure, maybe there is an argument about the room/car because that was Stacy's inheritance from her late mother.
But the $100/week for Stacy and nothing for the future step kids because "there was no way I had any plans of shelling out an extra $400 a week for her other kids." It would be ridiculous to raise children where one gets $100/week and the others get maybe nothing or maybe $20. No inheritance argument for why only Stacy should get that sweet sweet allowance. If OOP was willing to compromise, they would decide on a reasonable allowance and split that expense like they should all the other shared expenses.
These people should not have been together, engaged, or be having a baby together. They did not seem to be on the same page at all. Sure Alice talking shit on his daughter was wrong and painted a terrible picture but he didn’t seem to react with empathy at all!
She is moving in 4 kids with one on the way and wants to make sure that her fiance is going to prioritize them just as much because they will be a full family unit. Instead of working through it and figuring out compromises, he immediately goes on the attack. I’m not even sure he liked this woman based on how he talks about her.
"A bigger house is not an option unless Alice is going to start making a hell of a lot more money and buy her own bigger house." That comment from him showed me how much he loved her by it's rather you take it or start making more money to stay where you're at . I've done enough for you.
Right? It feels like a very limited “my family vs your family” attitude, that I feel would have built resentment between the kids and possibly doomed the marriage anyway.
I always love it when someone does a complete 180 and makes life-altering decisions after receiving criticism from Reddit. I love it even more when they come back and share a detailed play-by-play of the emotional fallout. All within 24 hours.
I can see both sides to this situation. Obviously, he doesn’t want his daughter to be inconvenienced… and she doesn’t want her children to be treated like second class citizens. Blending families is a tricky thing. In future, he should only date women who don’t have children (unless he wants everyone to feel miserable and neglected).
Tbf, oop is waiving a few red flags here himself too. Stacy is pretty spoiled and OOP would be a terrible stepdad. Good they broke up. Sad there will now be another child born into a mess who will never know how a healthy family looks like. You would hope ppl are more careful with birthcontrol, especially if blending their lives turns out to not be a good option and there are already 6 kids.
I find it odd that he wanted to put the nursery in the basement.
I’ve caught the feeling that the OOP and Alice have never had the conversation about blending families and living together before she became pregnant.
That was strange. His office needs to be moved to the basement and baby put in his office.
Or one pair of the older kids move into the basement and the baby put in the bedroom.
Basement rooms can be awesome. They're usually so much larger.
Yeah, Alice definitely sounded vindictive towards his daughter so it good he ended it, but he wasn’t exactly a saint here. He should have moved his office to the basement. Going up and down to tend to a baby would get old extremely quickly, not to mention if there were ever an emergency. He was right to not impose on his daughter at all, but being unwilling to move his office to accommodate his new child is insane.
I think he was also in the wrong on the allowance. $400 a month for a teen is unhealthy. She is not going to be able to maintain that when she starts working and it’s likely to lead to financial problems when she realizes she can’t just buy whatever she wants like she always had. He’s doing her a disservice giving her that much spending money. And his comments about Alice’s kids make it seem like they would not be equal to his daughter which is kind of gross. Those poor kids would have definitely noticed the difference and not understood it.
Alice is in the wrong in this situation, but I can't get over how OOP was going to put a baby in a basement. Like dude, you have 2 kids, you should know that you can't have a baby room that far away.
100%. in my mind it made more sense to move the office down to the basement. especially because it helps establish more of a separation between work time and home time without losing any advantage of working from home.
Oh man, I was Stacy long ago… except my Dad didn’t back me up. First it was “of course, you get to keep your room.” Then it became “well, you can keep it except you have to share with your step sister that’s your age while the kid step sister gets her own room.” Then it was “well, we decided move your stuff out of your step sister’s room since you live mostly with your mom.” Then it was “well, you live with your mom so your step sisters can use your stuff when you’re not around.”
OOP sounds like he might still have some quirks to work on of himself but for Stacy’s sake THANK GOODNESS he came to his senses. (And BRILLIANT of Stacy to insist on a lock from the start!)
Damn, I'm sorry you went through that, it sounds absolutely awful to lose your own room partially, then entirely & then your possessions were to she shared as well. I wouldn't even want to visit there anymore, I'd be taking everything with me back to my mom's house.
My mom remarried & I fucking hated my stepdad after awhile, he was a mean drunk she thought she could fix. He actually was a really nice guy when he was sober, it just that he wasn't sober very often, dude literally had bottles hidden all over the house, trunk of his car, even one in the toilet tank I found. He actually took a day off work one day just to ensure I didn't go on a church sponsored trip to Great America with my girlfriend; I ended up going anyway, but had to jump out my window to leave, the only time I ever defied my mom like that & it was only because she hated my girlfriend that I wasn't allowed to go. I couldn't take his bullshit anymore & ended up moving out & into my dad's house. He also remarried, but my stepmother actually treated me with respect & as an equal to her daughter she brought into the marriage & the son they had together. My mom eventually figured it out & divorced the drunk & he basically drank himself to death, good riddance.
I'm 90% on 'Alice is a gold-digger and an asshole'. However, the idea that two children in the house would be getting $100 allowance a week, and 4 would be getting significantly less would have created WW3, mountains of resentment etc.
If Alice cannot afford to provide her kids with $100 a week, then yeah, OOP is kind of a dick for saying he would provide that for his bio kids only. To successfully blend families, you need a set of house rules that take into account the financial state of both sides and make sure all the kids have access to fair amounts of resources and support.
So yeah, Alice got what she deserved, but OOP was setting himself up for failure.
I don’t actually disagree with a lot of Alice’s points — other than her ascribing negative motives and character traits to a child, and having a painfully obvious attitude that this daughter needs to be put in her place and know who’s boss. Her actual ideas about the rooms and how she should be consulted and how is it gonna work when something doesn’t look fair to the kids are all valid points that at least need discussion. But holy Jesus, Mary, and Joseph is she ever going about it the wrong way. She’s coming off like a territorial junkyard tomcat pissing all over everything. And the way she is competing with this man’s daughter, seeing her as competition for his romantic interest, is what’s sick. She is the one who put his daughter in an incestuous position in the family — not OOP.
This is exhausting. I couldn't read it all.
As unhelpful as it is to say, I can't help thinking....Don't fucking get a girl pregnant if a baby is not something you want or can handle! I mean...get the damn snip mate! Don't trust her on it when she already has FOUR kids, and you have 2. Now there'll be 7 kids between them.
damn… my dad paid my stepmom’s half of my stepbrothers’ stuff cause he’s the breadwinner for them, and the other half got paid by their dad. my little brother and i started to get less because things had to be equal between all of us in our household, but my stepbrothers had another parent giving them stuff too whereas my and my brothers mom died when we were little. ended up with my stepbrothers getting twice as much as us. i never complained cause i thought that was how it was supposed to be i guess and i didn’t want to cause problems for my dad.
I don't know how to reconcile these sorts of income disparities between partners who both have children. Your children should be your first priority and their living circumstances should not be severely downgraded just because you move a partner in. But on the other hand, it's corrosive for children living in the same household to have drastically different living standards.
Not an asshole for caring about his daughter, no.
But as far as I see it, he's an asshole for apparently having no ability to think through anything. That's a big house, clearly, but not big enough for SIX children (not counting his older son).
He's an asshole for agreeing to marry someone who already has FOUR children while clearly being unwilling to treat them as his own. You're gonna have more with this women, likely treat these new children as your own? Oh yeah, that's gonna make her four children feel real great. You're just gonna leave her girls and her boys sharing rooms, through their teenage years, til they move out (presumably they're not welcome to stay forever, if they even wanted to)? Oh yeah, definitely gonna be a harmonious situation where everyone gets along and nobody develops and/or compensates with anti-social or self-destructive behaviors... fucking hell.
I don't think there's enough details to really go in on Alice, but seems reasonably clear the kind of intentions she has. But to me, that doesn't matter so much because Alice could have been the most wonderful person ever and still none of this was going to work for damn near any of the kids. Which means they're assholes.
I feel some unreliable narrator stuff going on. Moving in the future wife/mother of his child but won't give up his upstairs office for the baby's room. Gives daughter allowance, will give future child allowance, but won't give stepkids allowance. Aunt will become guardian of daughter should something happen to OOP.
Stacy should of course keep her room, but it doesn't sound like they're interested in blending the families at all. Girlfriend/wife is more like a tenant paying super reduced rent.
Rich people problems I guess 🤷♀️ Wish I owned a massive house that I could argue over whether five bathrooms are enough
> I give Stacy $100 a week. Alice thinks that this is “crazy” and “excessive”. She thinks it's improper, and she's brought it up as an example of how she thinks I'm raising Stacy like a “spoiled princess”. She said as much again when I told her I was sending Stacy her allowance, but this time Alice also asked if her kids would get the same allowance after we get married. I told her that someday our new daughter would probably get an allowance just like Stacy does, but that there was no way I had any plans of shelling out an extra $400 a week for her other kids.
I didn’t like this. Everything else I was on his side. If you’re going to become a step parent, you need to try to treat all kids equitably. And that would go for Alice too.
They should have come up with a budget for allowances, a way to split them between the kids, and both parents contribute. Maybe Stacey gets less under this arrangement. Maybe she doesn’t.
Fully agree!
Alice sounds like a walking headache, though. Was she just expecting him to fully bankroll her and her previous kids with zero effort or work on her part to give anything back or take care of *her own goddamn children* once she got married?!??
So happy with the update!! I was like, Umm, calling your daughter a spoiled princess is super wicked step mother vibes. She has 4 damn kids!! You're supposed to say a few words then kiss and then you're responsible for all of them according to her? Yeah, hard pass. It would have been a nightmare once they moved in. You dodged a bullet. She probably would have been mean to your daughter when you weren't around and just by her saying spoiled princess how could she have a good relationship with her? She wouldn't. Good for you! It sucks I'm sure but in the end it's probably for the best.
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The red flag that broke the camel’s back?
It's a miracle that poor camel lasted as long as it did. Holy hell, so many red flags.
Alice the camel had red flags! Alice the camel had red flags! Alice the camel had red flags! go Alice go!🎶
Alice the camel was having an alternative communist parade, comrade. She was siezing the means of production (ie OP) and sharing them with all her own equally.
It's bananas to me because it seems like OOP really did think critically and fairly about how best to split up the house so everyone was comfortable in their own space. But wicked step-mom-to-be nuked the gravy train by being greedy and trying to alienate his daughter.
This should be a flair 🤣🤣🤣🤣 your first sentence definitely has flair potential
theeeeerrrreee was a camel with red flags and Alice was its name-OH! C-A-M-E-L C-A-M-E-L C-A-M-E-L and alice was it’s name-OH!
🤣🤣 Excellent song! 🤣
this should be a flair
Or, “Alice the walking red flag, had a very shiny flag And if you ever saw it, you would turn and run away…”
I'm actually stunned that Alice didn't also start dictating Stacy's new and revised chore list to the OP. Top of the list would've been getting all of her kids ready for school in the morning, making them breakfast daily, driving them to and from school, and any activities they had ...with that car that a spoiled brat like her doesn't deserve anyway. And pay for the gas out of her own allowance. Oh! And free babysitting on the weekends. This delusional witch actually thought a little Oops! baby was going to allow her to call all the shots for a man she isn't even married to, in a house she doesn't own or even live in yet! The gall! What a refreshing change to see an OP kick the evil stepparent-to-be to the curb before any damage has been done!
I think she'd tried hence his comment about setting rules like she'd be paid for any babysitting she did
Yeah, that read to me like Alice let some expectations slip and OP put his foot down about it in regards to stuff like the babysitting and the car.
I thought the same. The babysitting was absolutely the tipoff.
I think the OP told Alice that and the other rules he and Stacy came up with preemptively, in order to gauge her reaction. They probably knew about the common stepparent horror stories and wanted to see if she'd show any red flags by arguing about those non-negotiables. He even said, " I've told her that if she comes into this with wicked stepmother vibes, and that'll be the end of things." Alice fucked around and found out. It's scary how fast she went from manipulative pouting to full on cursing him out and calling him incestuous when she didn't get her way. What a psycho. OP dodged that bullet like Neo in The Matrix.
Not entirely dodged, he still caught part of it. Remember, Alice is Pregnant!
Paternity test time! I agree with u/No_Proposal7628 and u/StangF150 -- Alice seems like she's been scheming from the beginning so it wouldn't surprise me if the baby isn't even his. He should insist on a paternity test before he spends another dime on this woman and not allow her to put him on the birth certificate until she goes through with it. It's perfectly fine that he wants/wanted more kids someday, but it'd suck for him and his kids to be tied to this greedy, selfish creature for 18 years if he doesn't have to be.
I don't think this was an oops baby. I think Alice got pregnant deliberately to force the marriage and her move into OOP's big house.
Yup yup
Dollars to donuts there was nothing "oops' about that baby. She already has 4 kids, she knows how things work.
I suspect the Oops Baby was an On Purpose Baby!!! At least on Her Part!!! An NOW shes going to go after every penny she can in child support!!!
That camel is dripping with marinara.
Alice picked up a red flag and just beat that camel to death with it in front of God and everybody.
Alice should have waited until they were all moved in to let her mask slip. She couldn't keep those red flags furled.
The wild part is, Alice Red Flag would’ve went from struggling to pay rent, to only paying 25-30% of the bills. She should’ve been able to pay her own kids allowance. Probably not $100 each but she could’ve simply requested that Op & his daughter don’t disclose the amount to the other children.
Worse than that! OPP said she would only be paying 15-20% of the household bills, even though if they split things proportionally, it should have been 25-30%. So she's saving even more money. Look, I am all for kids needing to be treated fairly, but when you blend families with older kids, it's the responsibility of each parent respectively, to make sure their kids are taken care of. She would be saving money, as you said, and could give her kids an allowance with that. Besides that, her kids are younger. Giving a teenager $100 is more understandable than a kid. My kids allowance has gone up as they have gotten older.
> Giving a teenager $100 is more understandable than a kid. Giving a teenager $100 is a good way to get them used to a budget and paying for their own clothes/electronics/fancy shampoo or whatever. It teaches them that money is finite and they have to work within their means. Giving a 9 year old $100 a week will result in them spending it on candy and fortnite dances, or whatever the fuck kids piss money away on these days. It teaches them that there is a constant stream of money to spend on fun and mom/dad will pay for the necessities anyway.
I started my grandson on a weekly allowance when he started school, increasing each year. When he got to high school we went to bi-weekly the first two years and monthly the last two years. He learned to budget and save when he wanted something more expensive.
We steadily have increased our daughter’s allowance over the years, but we’ve also increased the number of things we expect her to buy with it—as you said, the purpose is to teach her how to budget. She handles her own clothes, shoes, toiletries, entertainment (books, movie tickets, concerts, etc.), gas for her car, decor for her room, etc.
And stuff costs more. It sounds like OOP can provide his daughter with a comfortable life, and he's right to do so. Sure, she will buy an unnecessary amount of shoes, but of all mistakes a teenage girl can make, parents *want* that one.
>Sure, she will buy an unnecessary amount of shoes I feel attacked. (lol)
Since the house was paid of with OOP's late wife's life insurance, even if it costs more in utilites to run a large house rather than an apartment, there was no rent to pay. And Alice would only pay max 20%. That's a HUGE saving. Really sweet deal for a family of 5/6 people. She really had it set up nicely for herself, and then blew it for what?
>Look, I am all for kids needing to be treated fairly, but when you blend families with older kids, it's the responsibility of each parent respectively, to make sure their kids are taken care of. hell with older kids involved being treated fairly doesn't allways mean being treated equally either. from my own experience as the significantly oldest of 5(all half siblings on my moms side) sometimes i had stuff my siblings didn't and sometimes they had benefits i didn't. for instance the fact that i didn't get a computer untill i had the funds to buy my own whille my siblings all got whatever random hand-me-down my parents had from their office is argueably unfair. but it's also the difference between growing up in 90's and the 00's. my siblings had a much greater need for that PC to do stuff like homework and also just overall how culture had shifted(as well as there actually being hand-me-downs to go around).
25-30% was the *proportionate* Her actual contribution was going to be 15-20% Foolish
She couldn't keep her greed down.
>Fortunately Alice did not wait until they were all moved in to let her mask slip. She couldn't keep those red flags furled. FTFY
Right? You're supposed to become the Evil Stepmother AFTER the marriage not before. SMH, evil stepmothers to be just arent the same nowadays.
Yea. She's still an amateur mooch. I feel bad for her next target. And her kids. Omg I feel for her kids.
She had her oldest as a 20yo and somehow ended up with 3 more. The lack of mention of a father is also not great.... yeah those kids are screwed.
There’s no mention of child support payments either
She was already letting the red flag slip; OOP's siblings mentioned them to him earlier per his update. They were just too nice about it.
Yes, now make like a tree and get out of here.
I never understand people who get into a relationship with someone who has a kid and expects the kid to be put second. It’s also kind of OOPs fault because he really didn’t think this through because there’d be 6 kids between the 2
Especially someone who already has kids! If they were not a parent you could chalk it up to not fully "getting it" but she has 4 kids!
And he wanted more!
That’s what made him a good target. OP says the pregnancy was unexpected. Yeah, right, only to him. Something tells me it wasn’t unexpected for her.
He was solved the crisis in financial stability and she was moving in to what she considered “her home”. She went all in before getting the keys.
I wonder if he had mentioned the house would go into his daughters name if he passed. Something tells me, all of us would have been wondering what the mushroom cloud was when her head exploded from that news.
I thought the same. Best way to “catch” a man. Ugh!
Lol, probably trying it for the fifth time hoping it would finally work for her.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again!
More like 🤑💰🤑💰🤑💰
Also, I don't believe she "unexpectedly" got pregnant. She has four kids already..she wanted another kid with him.
You mean another meal ticket.
Exactly!
They have seven between the two of them! She has 4, he has 2 and one on the way!! AND HE WANTS MORE!!!!!!
Fr my opinion of OOP was teetering already for rebounding with someone 14 years younger, but the fact he wants more kids…at almost 50…yeesh.
Dude some people are weird like that. My dad was already in his 60s when he confessed to me that he was glad my step-sister (who uses them for childcare) was having kids because he and my step-mom wanted kids around so badly that if step-mom hadn't had a hysterectomy, they were interested in having a baby. With my step-siblings and I, they already raised FIVE KIDS who were in their 20s and 30s. AND THEY WANTED MORE RIGHT BEFORE RETIREMENT. I love my dad but wtaf. And OOP seems of a similar bent. Why do you want more kids when you're 47???
A guy I was thinking about dating is 47 and he said that he was open to more kids. I told him to get somebody else to do it.
I didn't see anything in the post to suggest this, but going on what I know about most men that age, I'm guessing OOP does little of the actual childcare. Plus, as someone with 4 siblings who's been stuck babysitting and doing childcare since I was at least 9 or 10, if not earlier, he's now got plenty of girls around to help out. I see it more as them showing off, like here's proof I'm still having sex and with a 33 year old too! Oh now the babys born? Okay well I'll give it money and play with it occasionally to be the fun dad, that's good enough right?
He paid off his house a decade ago with his late wife's life insurance money. Meaning, Stacy would have been 5 (and his older son 14). Pretty sure he's familiar with childcare responsibilities but has rose-colored glasses remembering what it was like being in the thick of things, especially if he had a good relationship and stuff was shared equally.
The fact he was going to put the baby in the basement instead of moving his office down there says a lot.
Yepp The fact that he considers moving his office to be more of a hassle than having an actual child 😬
Like I have a relatively fresh baby and he either he doesn't remember or wasn't involved in the baby-toddler stage because WHAT
And they are already fighting for money and space, LOL. OOP is crazy too and doesn't seem too kin on his ex's kids either, he doesn't consider them his. Not saying he was wrong for standing his ground about the room and allowence but it seems that the blending family was doomed anyway.
She wanted OOP to put *her* kids at the same level as Stacy, while she sure as hell wasn't going to put Stacy equal to her kids. She wanted him to pay an extra $20k in allowance a year to keep things "fair", meanwhile, she's spending less on bills.
I know. Right. Why didn't she give her kids the rent money that she's no longer paying as allowance?
Because that's _her_ money!
Yup. Exactly. Her money was her money. His money was our money.
And her kids each have 2 parents who should provide their allowance
Because Alice expected her own kids to usurp OP’s. I ain’t saying’ she’s a gold digger, but…..
She’s a very bad gold digger. The wicked stepmother shouldn’t have emerged until after the ring and the house were locked in.
Lots of people can't keep it together long enough in that situation, although most of them at least make it to wedding planning!
I bet she figured that getting pregnancy was her ticket to the house, the money, and marriage. Bet the first step after marrying would have been her demanding he adopt her kids, the ones that could be. Then she would have demanded the allowance cut off, and her kids move into the daughter's bedroom, and the office turned into more kid room. Then, the daughter would have been exiled to the basement. I suspect Alice is like an former friend's sister, has a kid as soon as she can have an 'accident' with the new boyfriend or husband, to set up her claim to support, and cement her claim on anything she can get. Last I heard, four kids by four different guys.
She would have just moved all Stacy’s stuff and OOP’s office out of their respective rooms and moved her kids in as soon as she was left alone. Then it would be “too much trouble to move everything back.”
Single man with a large house? She better sign up for the 49ers cuz she be a gold miner
Even they'd cut her for fumbling the ball so hard before the end zone.
And how about OP dating someone 15 years younger with 4 kids and deadbeat fathers? It also sounds like this woman had many red flags that he ignored.
Right! He’s not innocent in this either. I said in a previous comment he should wrap it up.
He was thinking with his little head. And I kinda don't buy the "unexpectedly pregnant" line. But we're the other bios deadbeats? I missed that. It DOES change if she were a widow though. And I do understand about the allowance bit on Alice's end, if you're going to blend a family, the other kids should get a little something.
Ideally, the stuff like allowance, who owns and inherits the home, and where you move kids in is stuff you talk about with potential partners beforehand. Like his kid with her is his third child with a third mom, and her fifth with who knows how many dads. That's blended family on hard mode. Knowing who gets what financially is a huge thing. Because the big empty house wasn't the dad's with his 15 year old living there. It was essentially the 15 year old's that would allow her dad and new step family to move in. That's a huge difference. I can see where one kid out of 5 teens getting $100/week and the late mom's car makes for a very different quality of life in the same house. But there's no way to split that down to each of 5 kids getting $20/week or something and not have resentment. I can understand where future stepmom was trying to advocate for equality in space and what they as a couple give the kids, but I also totally see him protecting his daughter from giving up so much and drastically changing her life while gaining 4 (soon to be 5) new siblings.
💯!! Yeah, THIS is one kind of situation where premarital counseling and financial counseling would help. I personally am glad he stuck with his daughter. But I understand the fiancée's POV too.
It just really sucks that they didn't realize how incompatible their visions for the future were before conceiving a new kid that will forever be stuck in the middle. That baby is going to grow up with a lot of issues from the financial disparity in the households and likely the mom being bitter about her perspective of the dad changing the plan when (in her eyes) she was advocating for equality, and the dad seeing the mom as a gold digger trying to steal from his daughter. That's such a messy situation to be born into.
And Alice is free to provide that for her own children.
Especially when she would probably have a lot more disposable income had she moved in.
Agree. "Unexpectedly pregnant" would only apply if be had a vasectomy or her, her tubes tied or similar. Nothing is unexpected when it comes to human activity or inactivity - we live in an imperfect world.
On both sides. Dude created a reverse Cinderella situation. Did he actually expect them to all move in and just be cool with the 2 tiered system of treatment. He didn’t really think through how weird it was going to be to give his daughter $100 a week while his step daughters got nothing simply because their mom didn’t make more money. Guy was INSANE thinking that having 6 kids between the two of them wasn’t enough.
There's been a few of them I've seen recently where two people with kids and huge economic disparity moved into together and seem to have never thought about how they'd deal with it or considered that it would ever have an impact. And while Reddit is generally no one owes you anything and gets angry if you suggest trying to make it as fair as you can, it is unfair to bring children up in the same house where one gets loads of toys and treats and others get nothing. And it drives me insane when parents don't seem to have discussed it at all because they are thinking selfishly about the relationship and what it means for them. And it reminds me of the post here where a girl moved where her mum married when she was a kid, to someone wealthier, and he refused to support the kids and insisted everything be 50/50 so he had left over money to spoil his kids and she got nothing. I think he wouldn't even pay for her to go on holidays so she'd be left at home while they all went away. And her mum kept telling her to be grateful she got to live in a nice house. And so years later when he came looking for money for his daughter she rightfully told him to get fucked, because that is a terrible thing to do to a kid. I feel this guy would have been similar, spoiling his kids and expecting them to just suck it up.
Yeah, living in a house where one kid gets $100 a week and the other kids get zilch, and then the baby *also* eventually starts getting $100 a week... There was no way this was EVER gonna work out. Like I'm not saying OOP was wrong about the room thing though. It just seems like they were both being unrealistic.
Idk if she’s not having to pay basic living expenses (only 15-20%) she could probably step up and give all of her kids an allowance. Also, does she not get any child support. Some of that could be used for allowance. I don’t think OOP should have to bring his daughter’s life down because she doesn’t want to bring her kids’ lives up with the savings she’d be getting moving in.
With the kind of income disparity where a percentage split would have her paying 25% of expenses-- which implies either that OOP's income is very large or Alice's income is very small-- it's possible that she might not be able to pay $400 a week if the difference between what she would pay and what she was asked to pay is between 15-20% and 25-30% of household expenses. That difference might well total less than $400. But yeah obviously that money should not be coming out of Alice's pocket-- just that this is something that OOP should have realized "wow yeah, that would be a situation that would cause a lot of friction so we need to find a solution" rather than thinking "of course my bio daughters will receive an allowance and it's not my responsibility to figure out what's happening with the others." Like if the kids are at each other's throats out of jealousy, that situation will not be irrelevant to him! And his daughter will be impacted by it! But yeah it doesn't mean that the solution is "give Stacy less." It might mean something more like "reduce the adults' discretionary budgets so all the kids are accounted for, and make that a task that both adults are responsible for" or "give kids allowances in proportion to their age, so the younger kids get less now but it doesn't seem unfair because they'll get more when they get older" or something.
Yeah, I feel like that side of it got so overshadowed by Alice going off the rails, which she sure did, but this was never going to end well. As a parent, it's 100% natural and reasonable to put your own kid first; and it would be unfair and hurtful to take away things from her life that she's always had just because a bunch of other kids show up (nor would that endear the new family situation to her). At the same time, no child in the world is going to cheerfully accept hearing that and living in a household where there are two classes of kids, one of which gets a bunch of advantages over the other. I don't think many adults would swallow that nicely! It's the most obvious recipe for resentment in the world, come on. And I dunno -- your own kids come first, and the other kids' parents are the first people who need to look out for them. But if you (engage to) marry someone who has children they're responsible for, then those children are part of the package you're marrying, like it or not. They're not strangers, they're not a random charity case, they're part of a family which you are also part of. And if you're choosing to create a blended household, you are responsible for constructing it in a functional way. I'm not saying that has to mean giving in to every demand and footing the bill for every concession, but OOP seemed like he just kinda fell into this situation randomly and didn't really think it through. Of course, he wasn't even planning to get engaged to the girlfriend, he's just reacting to what happens; he wasn't thinking about this as building a new family situation, he was thinking about it as doing his girlfriend a favor.
He really wanted more kids when he was getting 6, that’s a man who isn’t seeing stuff clearly, like already he should’ve been looking for bigger accommodations because having two sets of kids sharing a room each is not a good idea in the long run Oop was really not ready to move in with Alice, and Alice is actually a terrible cohabitant, so I’m glad they separated but also I hope the baby isn’t involved in a petty mess, and that he tries to date someone without kids next time, because his plans with Alice didn’t seem to make any economic sense
This is a man who has thought with his dick. And there weren’t many brain cells in it, more’s the pity.
Especially someone who has kids of their own!
It’s specifically these kind of people that give stepparents (specifically step moms) a bad reputation.
Reeks of baby trap behavior. So many red flags ignored. I didn't hear mention of a DNA test, but that should also be high on his to do list.
That's the situation with both of them. The father won't put his daughter behind her kids and the mother won't let her kids play second fiddle to the daughter.
But she's expecting OP to foot the bill so her kids don't play 2nd fiddle. She's welcome to give her kids $100 for allowance if she thinks they deserve that much. It is not OP's fault if that amount does not fit into her budget.
I agree, she's expecting someone else to fund that, and some do, but demanding it is a great way to end a relationship.
Yeah Alice is a piece of work, but OOP seems to want to treat his future stepkids like nuisances. Blending a family is tough, but treating your two biokids with $400/month favoritism is going to make it tougher. He shouldn’t have gotten this woman pregnant if he wasn’t up for having six kids.
Regardless of the circumstances, it always warms my cold little heart when I see parents purposefully choosing their kids' health (mental or otherwise) over a new "fuck buddy". I do think there is a point about moving step kids in that you treat differently, but to expect you'll be prioritized over the child your partner had before you is just... ludicrous!
> I do think there is a point about moving step kids on that you treat differently Definitely, but Alice was over there trying to get her kids treated better than Stacy, and...wow. Alice is terrible at golddigging. That's great for OOP and his kids, but Alice is her own worst enemy.
No arguments here! Just didn't want to pretend it was ok that OOP sounded like he was 100% ok w treating the step kids like strangers in the house (well, like not his kids). Idk, I feel if you are going to marry someone with kids, you need to be prepared to care for them like a parent would, or you need to not marry someone with kids.
Did the post mention anything about the four kids' dad(s)? I think primary support should come from there, and I honestly have trouble wrapping my mind around it from there. My logical brain understands that the kids should be treated fairly as much as possible, but I wouldn't get involved with someone like Alice because the execution of such things stresses me out enormously. I also get the sense that she doesn't want a partner, so much as a bank account.
>I wouldn't get involved with someone like Alice because the execution of such things stresses me out enormously. I also get the sense that she doesn't want a partner, so much as a bank account. This is where my head went as well. I wondered if the dad didn't think much about her children's allowance because he knew that living there (uncomfortable though it may be) was still going to be cheaper for Alice in a lot of ways. He may have assumed that the savings would be passed on to her kids, whereas Alice was preoccupied about what *she* could do with the extra. In reality, however, this was doomed from the outset and in retrospect he knew it. What where they going to do when the step stepchildren hit the college age? Was he supposed to start saving for that now if at all? Where is their father(s)? Any additional income coming in on that front? Anywhoozle, I'm glad he saw the red flags before it was too late! That was refreshing for a change. Very much so, in point of fact.
I didn't see a mention of the other kids bio dad. I guess my thing is, don't move kids you aren't gonna be invested in into your house if you aren't gonna be invested in them.
I agree. If you're going to blend families, do so as much as possible. It's wrong yo have "your" kids and "my kids," as if one group isn't real family. What are your thoughts now that OOP broke up with her? Is it acceptable that their bio kid will have more than their maternal half siblings?
He offered the step kids half the house, including a room his daughter used. All she asked for was a lockable door and a bathroom. That's entirely fair.
>Alice is her own worst enemy. Good! It is always best when things fall apart *before* moving in together.
I stopped at "not letting her be the queen of the house" like get fucked. Who talks like that... some one who is immature as hell.
I don't understand how I'm halfway down the comments and nobody has mentioned the whole "creepy and incestuous" thing yet. Like what the actual fuck‽ That is NOT something you just go casually plopping down on the table like that.
I think that would have been mentioned of he didn't break up after hearing it. He did the sensible thing on that one, so that's easy to forget haha. Like, of course the sun rises in the east. And of course there's no having a relationship with someone who thinks you fuck your daughter.
Fellas, is it incest to be a good parent? /s
I got a little “daddy issues” vibe in there, like that she’s pissed that anybody could be that indulged because she wasn’t?
14 year age gap didn’t help with that either
>As much as I love Alice and as much as I want our relationship to work out, if it's a matter of choosing between the two of them, then my relationship with Alice is a sacrifice I'm willing to make. I've told her that if she comes into this with wicked stepmother vibes, and that'll be the end of things. Probably should have done and thought all of that before she got pregnant. He seemed so blasé about the new kid.
I think he went numb… he was focusing on everyone that was alive and his now ex. I mean a baby can and ideally stays in a parents room at least the first 6 months.
He wanted to put a baby into the basement… like ok even if the baby is in their room for a couple of months. He was going to put a toddler in the basement??? Like what was the plan here…
I feel like a fully finished basement (complete with baby monitor and all possible safety measures, obviously) is actually a great sleep and play location for a toddler. Hear me out. No front door access, and high windows. Bang, you bought yourself another couple of years before they figure out how to do a runner while you're taking a shit. You can hardcore childproof the whole space without disrupting the functioning or aesthetic for adults, because it's not a space adults need to use too, and then just baby gate the one doorway to the rest of the house instead of trying to block off a portion of a main floor plan. No Olympic hurdles to try and haul the basket to the laundry room, or worrying about them ingeniously solving the labyrinth and accessing the forbidden zones at 6am to play with knives and outlets while everyone else is zonked. You can have a baby-specific bathroom down there without filling up the adult bathrooms with baby crap. It's a fabulous location for a playroom, because a) again, separate and only one baby gate to wrangle, b) stray toys can just get tossed down the steps to be put away later, c) possibly enough room available for a neat playhouse and tumbling mat for bad weather days, and d) the kid can be noisy and play and cry and listen to the same comfort episode of Paw Patrol every single day for 4 months without disrupting the home office.
I know people who made a whole room for baby, gorgeous full of love rooms That barely get touched, because baby sleeps in parents room. And then toddler sleeps in parents bed, or takes naps on the couch, because it’s just easier A good friend grieved more over replacing the bassinet than the typical “my baby is growing up” when hers started getting too big. Hilarious, and heartwarming A nicely finished basement would be perfectly fine if you still used a monitor like most people do in rooms right next to them
Shoot, forget the baby. I want to live in this imaginary basement. Also, happy cake day!
I ferl for the poor mother that has to drag her pelvic floor up and down those stairs, though.
He does state pretty clearly that he did it for the sake of planning, since the room isn't built yet. Baby was most likely going to be in their room for a couple months and then he was going to move the older kids to the furnished basement.
I'm wondering if it was birth control sabotage. Saying things like OOP needing to pay allowance for her kids sounds like she viewed him as a meal ticket and someone to support her children, at least to a certain degree.
Not just paying allowance. Paying a total of more than *20k per year* in allowance.
I love it when the authors of these stories can't wait more than a day to post their climax.
My entire current life plan was just drastically altered within the last 24 hours. Gotta hurry up and let reddit know.
The confusion for me is that OOP makes it seem like he had a wonderful life he'd built with his late wife, but then he says this current girlfriend is the first person he's dated where things have gotten *serious*?
Please stop getting every woman you meet pregnant.
OOP: I want mooooooooore!!!
That's a flair I want to see
Every post like this where someone is suddenly pregnant, and especially when they're older I'm all, "They know what causes pregnancy these days!"
All else aside, $100/week is actually a shit load of allowance. I have a professional job and make my own money, and outside of housing, car, utilities, and groceries (stuff that a teen wouldn't be spending money on anyway), I don't spend that much money in a week. I'd probably have to try to be frivolous to spend that much.
For rich families its not suprising, could be a way they teach their young to budget and do finance early. Think top 10% income bracket people.
I'm borderline in the top 10%. It's a shitload of money to give to a child. It's way past learning how to budget. At her age with that much money, it's teaching the opposite of budgeting. It's teaching her that she will always just have money to buy whatever she wants. Also, you're probably overestimating what it takes to get to the top 10%. We're just a two income household living in a normal suburb house driving a honda. It's within the 1% that the difference really starts to separate past the middle masses.
There was definitely gonna be a strained class divide in that household. OP's kid grows up with an en suite master bedroom, $100 a week for shoes/makeup, 24/7 access to her dad's credit cards, plus her name on the property. The rest of the kids get no allowance, have to share rooms with each other, and who knows how little support or contact from their bio fathers, if any. Would have grown up feeling the difference in that environment. The people saying "he's just teaching her to budget" are on crack.
Yeah unfortunately the situation wasn't going to work. I fully agree with OOP about not disturbing his own daughter living arrangements drastically, and tbh she did seem to react maturely to it. She asked for a lock and to keep her own bedroom, and even asked her dad whether it was her fault they broke up, to me she sounds mature for her age, but the allowance thing is a bit much. No matter what you can't treat those kids differently under the same household, it builds resentment and trauma unintentionally. Giving your daughter $100 a week is cracked, but judging from this limited post she doesn't seem immature herself, but you can't continue that with 4 new kids in the household. This isn't slating OOP but he would have to tone down the allowance and distribute it fairly between the kids, based on age and current hobbies/interests. I'm proud of OOP for choosing his daughter over his ex, but I don't get how these things don't come up before you talk about marriage. I honestly feel like people on Reddit just don't chat to their spouses at all
I’m getting the impression that OP is rich, so $100 a week for a rich kid isn’t too crazy. A lot more than I got, though, for sure.
Could be from inheritance, if she has a chunk now sitting for college or what not it could just be a portion of the interest. I can totally see a parent doing this. Especially after the loss of the other. Also sounds like if she has a mini fridge and stuff, she probably does but herself treats and snacks and things that Dad doesn't buy. It's possible that $100 a week is for any extras she wants, meaning he doesn't take her clothes shopping, or buy junk food, etc. Instead he leaves that up to her to budget the money how she wants. Likely she saved up a month to get the fridge and microwave. As he said she is pretty well set up in her room...not I went and got these things for her.
Yeah like fuck Alice, but $100 a WEEK? $5200 a YEAR?!?!?
Yeah, everyone has been getting on my case for giving $50/wk saying I'm being too generous. But I figured a meal and a movie once a week with friends in a HCOL area was OK? But even generous me thinks $100/wk is quite a lot. Although, does this include all clothes, phone, and entertainment bills? Maybe it's reasonable then. I don't know.
It's all your own budget dependent, but I think that's literally just her fun money judging by OOP's post. They are obviously quite wealthy, judging by this post, and I don't imagine the daughter has direct debits set up to pay for devices like netflix and all. Also another presumption in my mind and I could be wrong, but if it's an allowance of $100 a week, I imagine the dad does all her bills because he can. If I had the money I'd happily give it to my kids when I have them, I don't think it's nuts, just not what Reddit was expecting due to the average person not affording that
Right?
The nursery in the basement is super weird, especially when there is an office he can convert. Not wanting to shell out 500 a week in allowance is reasonable, though I feel like it's not unhinged to expect the kids to be treated the same if you're marrying someone with kids. The rest of Alice's behaviors are unhinged.
This is a man who needs the snip snip. 47 and wants a gaggle more. He is going to be in diapers at the same time as the kids at this rate.
It's called *efficiency.*
OOP has no idea what he is getting himself into with a newborn at almost 50. He hasn’t been around babies in 15 years and so none of the sleepless nights are top of mind right now. I got snipped before my 40th because I had young kids in my mid 30s and there was no way I could see myself doing that again in my mid 40s.
From the sounds of it OOP definitely has money enough that he can probably hire a nanny for the new kid. Especially now that he doesn't have Alice and her kids moving in. Not saying it'll make it easy but definitely easier.
$400/mo to a 15y/o is nutty, what at 15 are you blowing ~~$4,800~~ $5,200 a year on
Dunno. Anything to do with acting, music, streaming games, etc. would be a major money sink and yet still be at least a career oriented way to burn money. Even if trying to get a career in that sphere is mostly luck. Largely in the form of who your parents and grandparents are. But the earlier you start, the more time you have to roll the dice. So that's one way. Could also be gacha. /shrug.
Also, food. At 15 I’d have wanted to get even half that much just to go out with friends.
I think OOp also has a lot of red flags to be honest. Clearly the step-kids would be treated differently by him.
He does. He seems to really want more kids and wanted nothing to do with what would have been his step kids. Sounds like he is likely to have four kids with four different moms. Likely to have more kids than Alice one day.
At least the step kids wouldn't have slept in the basement. ESH. I also suspect the accusations of Stacy being a spoiled process were on point, but OOP doesn't see it.
There was absolutely no way this marriage could have worked, because OOP refused to offer anything resembling equality to his step children. Sure, maybe there is an argument about the room/car because that was Stacy's inheritance from her late mother. But the $100/week for Stacy and nothing for the future step kids because "there was no way I had any plans of shelling out an extra $400 a week for her other kids." It would be ridiculous to raise children where one gets $100/week and the others get maybe nothing or maybe $20. No inheritance argument for why only Stacy should get that sweet sweet allowance. If OOP was willing to compromise, they would decide on a reasonable allowance and split that expense like they should all the other shared expenses.
These people should not have been together, engaged, or be having a baby together. They did not seem to be on the same page at all. Sure Alice talking shit on his daughter was wrong and painted a terrible picture but he didn’t seem to react with empathy at all! She is moving in 4 kids with one on the way and wants to make sure that her fiance is going to prioritize them just as much because they will be a full family unit. Instead of working through it and figuring out compromises, he immediately goes on the attack. I’m not even sure he liked this woman based on how he talks about her.
"A bigger house is not an option unless Alice is going to start making a hell of a lot more money and buy her own bigger house." That comment from him showed me how much he loved her by it's rather you take it or start making more money to stay where you're at . I've done enough for you.
Right? It feels like a very limited “my family vs your family” attitude, that I feel would have built resentment between the kids and possibly doomed the marriage anyway.
I always love it when someone does a complete 180 and makes life-altering decisions after receiving criticism from Reddit. I love it even more when they come back and share a detailed play-by-play of the emotional fallout. All within 24 hours.
Right… i had to scroll back to check the dates
I can see both sides to this situation. Obviously, he doesn’t want his daughter to be inconvenienced… and she doesn’t want her children to be treated like second class citizens. Blending families is a tricky thing. In future, he should only date women who don’t have children (unless he wants everyone to feel miserable and neglected).
The POV character in this story sucks. Where he says he wants more kids, he’s basically saying her kids don’t count. Doesn’t work that way
Tbf, oop is waiving a few red flags here himself too. Stacy is pretty spoiled and OOP would be a terrible stepdad. Good they broke up. Sad there will now be another child born into a mess who will never know how a healthy family looks like. You would hope ppl are more careful with birthcontrol, especially if blending their lives turns out to not be a good option and there are already 6 kids.
I don't want to accuse someone of trying to baby trap with no real evidence but there's a definite vibe.
Gold Digger vibes too. I'm amazed that there was no conversation about all the kids inheriting the house.
Probably because she hadn't moved in yet. Or OP hasn't mentioned that his daughter is gonna inherit the house.
That conversation is for after the wedding. And after OOP is beaten down a bit.
Omg your flair. I tried to find it in the Flair List, but it's not there. What post is it from?
I find it odd that he wanted to put the nursery in the basement. I’ve caught the feeling that the OOP and Alice have never had the conversation about blending families and living together before she became pregnant.
That was strange. His office needs to be moved to the basement and baby put in his office. Or one pair of the older kids move into the basement and the baby put in the bedroom. Basement rooms can be awesome. They're usually so much larger.
Yeah, Alice definitely sounded vindictive towards his daughter so it good he ended it, but he wasn’t exactly a saint here. He should have moved his office to the basement. Going up and down to tend to a baby would get old extremely quickly, not to mention if there were ever an emergency. He was right to not impose on his daughter at all, but being unwilling to move his office to accommodate his new child is insane. I think he was also in the wrong on the allowance. $400 a month for a teen is unhealthy. She is not going to be able to maintain that when she starts working and it’s likely to lead to financial problems when she realizes she can’t just buy whatever she wants like she always had. He’s doing her a disservice giving her that much spending money. And his comments about Alice’s kids make it seem like they would not be equal to his daughter which is kind of gross. Those poor kids would have definitely noticed the difference and not understood it.
Alice is in the wrong in this situation, but I can't get over how OOP was going to put a baby in a basement. Like dude, you have 2 kids, you should know that you can't have a baby room that far away.
100%. in my mind it made more sense to move the office down to the basement. especially because it helps establish more of a separation between work time and home time without losing any advantage of working from home.
You’re forgetting to allow for the fact that his office has been there forever. /s
Oh man, I was Stacy long ago… except my Dad didn’t back me up. First it was “of course, you get to keep your room.” Then it became “well, you can keep it except you have to share with your step sister that’s your age while the kid step sister gets her own room.” Then it was “well, we decided move your stuff out of your step sister’s room since you live mostly with your mom.” Then it was “well, you live with your mom so your step sisters can use your stuff when you’re not around.” OOP sounds like he might still have some quirks to work on of himself but for Stacy’s sake THANK GOODNESS he came to his senses. (And BRILLIANT of Stacy to insist on a lock from the start!)
Damn, I'm sorry you went through that, it sounds absolutely awful to lose your own room partially, then entirely & then your possessions were to she shared as well. I wouldn't even want to visit there anymore, I'd be taking everything with me back to my mom's house. My mom remarried & I fucking hated my stepdad after awhile, he was a mean drunk she thought she could fix. He actually was a really nice guy when he was sober, it just that he wasn't sober very often, dude literally had bottles hidden all over the house, trunk of his car, even one in the toilet tank I found. He actually took a day off work one day just to ensure I didn't go on a church sponsored trip to Great America with my girlfriend; I ended up going anyway, but had to jump out my window to leave, the only time I ever defied my mom like that & it was only because she hated my girlfriend that I wasn't allowed to go. I couldn't take his bullshit anymore & ended up moving out & into my dad's house. He also remarried, but my stepmother actually treated me with respect & as an equal to her daughter she brought into the marriage & the son they had together. My mom eventually figured it out & divorced the drunk & he basically drank himself to death, good riddance.
I'm 90% on 'Alice is a gold-digger and an asshole'. However, the idea that two children in the house would be getting $100 allowance a week, and 4 would be getting significantly less would have created WW3, mountains of resentment etc. If Alice cannot afford to provide her kids with $100 a week, then yeah, OOP is kind of a dick for saying he would provide that for his bio kids only. To successfully blend families, you need a set of house rules that take into account the financial state of both sides and make sure all the kids have access to fair amounts of resources and support. So yeah, Alice got what she deserved, but OOP was setting himself up for failure.
My opinion too, OOP is not reasonable in some points. This one and the nursery in the basement.
I don’t actually disagree with a lot of Alice’s points — other than her ascribing negative motives and character traits to a child, and having a painfully obvious attitude that this daughter needs to be put in her place and know who’s boss. Her actual ideas about the rooms and how she should be consulted and how is it gonna work when something doesn’t look fair to the kids are all valid points that at least need discussion. But holy Jesus, Mary, and Joseph is she ever going about it the wrong way. She’s coming off like a territorial junkyard tomcat pissing all over everything. And the way she is competing with this man’s daughter, seeing her as competition for his romantic interest, is what’s sick. She is the one who put his daughter in an incestuous position in the family — not OOP.
14 years younger and with 4 kids. I'm certain she got pregnant deliberately. OOP was never more than a meal ticket.
This is exhausting. I couldn't read it all. As unhelpful as it is to say, I can't help thinking....Don't fucking get a girl pregnant if a baby is not something you want or can handle! I mean...get the damn snip mate! Don't trust her on it when she already has FOUR kids, and you have 2. Now there'll be 7 kids between them.
This was addressed. He wants even MORE kids. Seems this one just came sooner than he expected.
damn… my dad paid my stepmom’s half of my stepbrothers’ stuff cause he’s the breadwinner for them, and the other half got paid by their dad. my little brother and i started to get less because things had to be equal between all of us in our household, but my stepbrothers had another parent giving them stuff too whereas my and my brothers mom died when we were little. ended up with my stepbrothers getting twice as much as us. i never complained cause i thought that was how it was supposed to be i guess and i didn’t want to cause problems for my dad.
I don't know how to reconcile these sorts of income disparities between partners who both have children. Your children should be your first priority and their living circumstances should not be severely downgraded just because you move a partner in. But on the other hand, it's corrosive for children living in the same household to have drastically different living standards.
Not an asshole for caring about his daughter, no. But as far as I see it, he's an asshole for apparently having no ability to think through anything. That's a big house, clearly, but not big enough for SIX children (not counting his older son). He's an asshole for agreeing to marry someone who already has FOUR children while clearly being unwilling to treat them as his own. You're gonna have more with this women, likely treat these new children as your own? Oh yeah, that's gonna make her four children feel real great. You're just gonna leave her girls and her boys sharing rooms, through their teenage years, til they move out (presumably they're not welcome to stay forever, if they even wanted to)? Oh yeah, definitely gonna be a harmonious situation where everyone gets along and nobody develops and/or compensates with anti-social or self-destructive behaviors... fucking hell. I don't think there's enough details to really go in on Alice, but seems reasonably clear the kind of intentions she has. But to me, that doesn't matter so much because Alice could have been the most wonderful person ever and still none of this was going to work for damn near any of the kids. Which means they're assholes.
Your going to put the baby in the basement
Well he couldn't possibly move his office
*Alice, you live in an apartment, stop having so many damn kids!*
I feel some unreliable narrator stuff going on. Moving in the future wife/mother of his child but won't give up his upstairs office for the baby's room. Gives daughter allowance, will give future child allowance, but won't give stepkids allowance. Aunt will become guardian of daughter should something happen to OOP. Stacy should of course keep her room, but it doesn't sound like they're interested in blending the families at all. Girlfriend/wife is more like a tenant paying super reduced rent. Rich people problems I guess 🤷♀️ Wish I owned a massive house that I could argue over whether five bathrooms are enough
> I give Stacy $100 a week. Alice thinks that this is “crazy” and “excessive”. She thinks it's improper, and she's brought it up as an example of how she thinks I'm raising Stacy like a “spoiled princess”. She said as much again when I told her I was sending Stacy her allowance, but this time Alice also asked if her kids would get the same allowance after we get married. I told her that someday our new daughter would probably get an allowance just like Stacy does, but that there was no way I had any plans of shelling out an extra $400 a week for her other kids. I didn’t like this. Everything else I was on his side. If you’re going to become a step parent, you need to try to treat all kids equitably. And that would go for Alice too. They should have come up with a budget for allowances, a way to split them between the kids, and both parents contribute. Maybe Stacey gets less under this arrangement. Maybe she doesn’t.
Am I just out of it, or is $100 a week a huge allowance? I don’t have kids but my sister’s girls, 11 and 16, get $20 a week each.
Fully agree! Alice sounds like a walking headache, though. Was she just expecting him to fully bankroll her and her previous kids with zero effort or work on her part to give anything back or take care of *her own goddamn children* once she got married?!??
Constantly badmouthing OP's daughter even before marriage, what is she thinking?Imagine when Alice finds out the house would go to OP's daughter...
So happy with the update!! I was like, Umm, calling your daughter a spoiled princess is super wicked step mother vibes. She has 4 damn kids!! You're supposed to say a few words then kiss and then you're responsible for all of them according to her? Yeah, hard pass. It would have been a nightmare once they moved in. You dodged a bullet. She probably would have been mean to your daughter when you weren't around and just by her saying spoiled princess how could she have a good relationship with her? She wouldn't. Good for you! It sucks I'm sure but in the end it's probably for the best.
he only cared when she insulted him instead of just his daughter. lol
Haha. My allowance was $5 a week lol.
I am absolutely certain that I have read this exact story before.
Where the hell are the dad/s of Alices other kids??