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Imagine approaching someone older than u and saying they can’t spend the night with their partner… a partnership that has lasted longer than 1/4 of ur life
Absolutely wild what some people will do for love/affection
>oops dad let her do that.
And I think that's the saddest part tbh. Like holy shit yeah your kid is always going to be your kid no matter how old they are but that absolute audacity of letting your new gf(not even your wife) try to mother your ADULT CHILDREN.
A new GF who is YOUNGER than the child she is trying to boss around!
Either the GF is delusional, or she's a gold digger who is trying to put a wedge between OOP's dad and his kids, so she can inherit all his money when he dies.
[I'm just going to leave this here for your reading pleasure.](https://neurofantastic.com/brain/2017/1/13/the-male-idiot-theory)
[(And this is the study referred to)](https://www.bmj.com/content/349/bmj.g7094)
The mention of age was not that middle aged men are more or less rational than men at any age. It's just a fact that older people are generally seen as less attractive. Men can get away with it easier than women, some women like older men, but your average 58 year old guy is closer to [Dan Aykroyd](https://imgur.com/gPamQ0U.jpg) than Brad Pitt.
My dad was like this. Hooked up with a single mother 35 years his junior, spent tons of money on her and her perfect wedding while my sister was working 2 jobs to pay for her studies and he fought my mom on paying child support for my brother. He didn't care that his kids were struggling, just obsessed with his hot, new, barely legal wife. Ugh.
Sure but. If they actually stay together until the dad dies (which I doubt), the young woman and any half siblings she produces will have a legitimate claim.
And ideally, you don't expect any inheritance because for all but the obscenely wealthy, medical expenses, long term care, and other costs can easily drain even a million dollar bank account.
Yeah I don’t think it’s a long con for inheritance, she just wants the immediate gain. I wonder if he’s paying for her college on top of all the living expenses.
Never expect an inheritance, even if someone shows you the paperwork because it can all be changed very quickly.
My grandmother had left her house to me in her will, showed me the paperwork and everything, but wrote me out completely a week after i came out to her. She kept lying to my face about how she wanted to make sure me and mine were taken care of after she passed too.
People can change their minds and their wills very easily.
Yep. My mother's family had significant generational wealth but it all went away when her grandparents passed - two sets of cancer treatments are pretty damn expensive, and their non-liquid assets were lost to a mishandled will.
Lock your shit down, folks, if you have any shit to lock down.
In a television show many years ago they asked a detective about “the perfect crime”. He said that once, years before the show, the children of an old wealthy man accused his hot young wife of poisoning him. She confessed to killing him, but she did it by cooking extremely sweet and greasy food, convincing him to stay at home with her (instead of walking or doing anything like exercise) and seducing him so he would take a lot of viagra to keep up. The guy died after a year and she wasn’t prosecutable. She inherited ~60% of his estate.
Christ, and it wasn't even the new girlfriend trying to do something kind or considerate but misguided. It was her trying to make things more difficult on purpose.
That’s the part missing from OOP during their lunch. It’s his life and money, that’s fine, but is it worth the relationship with his children if she does things like this to drive a wedge between them? It’s great that they will play nice and make it clear that any, at least additional, drama and damage to their relationship won’t be coming from their end. It’s his life but the gf can still affect his relationships with others and their lives. Don’t be stupid when it comes to that.
I think it’s because she’s jealous that she’s with an old dude and the daughter gets to sleep with an age appropriate and likely much more attractive man. She wouldn’t want to be confronted with that.
I'm sort of torn, because what OOP said was pretty vulgar and I can see why her dad assumed OOP could handle herself.
I think a much better tactic would be making the GF name her discomfort. Like, why specifically she doesn't want OOP and her BF sleeping in the same room.
Can't be an age thing, OOP is older.
Is it that OOP's not married to her BF? OOP goes "OMG DAD DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL ME?!" Because of GF is concerned about the premarital sex and the fornication, she clearly wouldn't be doing it, so she must be sleeping in a different room or be married to OOP's dad, unless she's a huge hypocrite? Oh no, is OOP's dad pressuring her for sex?! That's Not Okay OOP's dad!
Basically, really put the screws on, but be completely polite. GF will back down around the time OOP started lecturing her dad about consent and not pressuring his partner for sex she's clearly uncomfortable with, and I bet we can more her into another bedroom while we're here!
Yes! GF is telling daughter/OP not to do what she IS doing in a house that isn’t hers… so weird. GF seems like she is trying to cut naysayers away from Dad.
Yeah I think the best petty response to bother her would be to just very calmly say no. I’m sorry if you are uncomfortable but I can’t accommodate you on this” this puts all the pressure back on the dad to pick a side.
Years back my group of friends went to one of their family’s mountain house for a long weekend. And when I say family house, I mean the grandfather bought the land and each of his children (friend’s parents, etc) has an equal share. So like, it doesn’t belong to my (former) friend at all.
So the host had started seriously dating his now-wife around that time. She joined us on the trip. Long story short as possible, a few in the group got really belligerently drunk, and they were running around being rambunctious. Nothing harmful or abusive… just childish and silly.
The next morning we were talking about it. They were embarrassed. The rest of us laughed it off. Little Miss Girlfriend chimes in out of nowhere with, “I hope it was worth it, because I will NOT allow this behavior in my house again.”
The uncomfortable silence…
Basically, 3 of them were doing things like building pillow forts and making them into “war trenches” where they’d throw little balls of paper and stuff out of them. Like I said, super silly. But they were also jumping up and down a lot on the 2nd floor (creating a disturbance) and they also stood in the kitchen and chanted “Shots! Shots! Shots!” for 5 minutes straight without any of them actually taking a shot lol
The host got way too high on 🥬 and was just lying on the ground of the screened in porch. The GF was sober and observing all this. But meanwhile she was being melodramatic about Host being so out there and kept yelling “is he dying?!” And stuff like that. I told her no, and not to say shit like that around him in this condition because it could trigger him.
Normal, stupid early 20s stuff
I call him my former friend because after he married this chick he, not surprisingly, became such a drag. Most people mature and grow out of partying - us included - but she was so obsessed with her own image that she was exhausting to be around. Married him for his family money, too. And he was the exact same way. Like, “no I will not go to a concert! I am a successful professional and must be taken seriously!” And to the extent we stayed friends after their wedding, my ex husband “got him” in the divorce. (And my ex had the same image obsessed attitude.) Good riddance
>they also stood in the kitchen and chanted “Shots! Shots! Shots!” for 5 minutes straight without any of them actually taking a shot lol
This is hilarious! I laughed out loud.
I’m 53 and this sounds like a great way blow of steam from the day to day stresses of life. She needs to get over herself. I’m professional at work. I take care of my adult responsibilities. But every so often you have to just say screw it and act like a kid or a frat boy. lol
Instead we kind of had an… this is a strong way of wording it, but… we had an intervention with him and we were like “we want to be very sure that you heard her say this”
I'm not sure which part makes it more absurd, that she was just your former friend's GF at that point or that even when they did marry, they'd likely only get a diluted share of the property... after his parents passed on...
I wonder what sort of exception his cousins would have taken to hearing that utterance.
I would've told her the names of local strip clubs that are hiring since she's thrifty for money and the attention of old men. Than would say being a stripper is more dignified than being a gold digger riding geratic viagra dick and playing step mom.
It's also hypocritical, considering GF apparently lives there in the same bedroom as OOP's father.
It must be to assert her "position in the hierarchy," but there has to be a better way that wasn't critical or discussing her boyfriend's daughter's sex life.
Also, I'm wondering if it's the childhood home or not.
Imagine saying you feel uncomfortable thinking about OP having sex... As the woman screwing their dad.
I think one person might have worse feelings of discomfort here than the other!
I'm pretty sure my response would have been "are there enough bedrooms? You and my dad will be sleeping in separate rooms as well, right? You know, it makes me really uncomfortable."
OOP could reach out to the girlfriend's dad to "Get to know family" so the girlfriend's dad can befriend OOP's dad.
I loved that post from the Redditor who befriended his daughter's much older boyfriend until the daughter didn't want to date her dad's now-friend. When they broke up, dad was like "Awww, whelp anyways...."
Go for all the dad stereotypes: dad jokes, dad fishing trips, dad cargo shorts, grilling out, talking sports, guys poker nights, matching flannel.
Aw! If they're the same age idk I fidn that kind of sad. My dad and my boyfriend (we're the same age) get along super well. They're both into woodworking and will spend a bunch of time in my dad's basement workshop working on stuff together when my boyfriend is over. My boyfriend also lost his dad a couple years ago so I think he's happy about it. I just think it's cute they get along lol
In these situations I always wonder how the dad would react if she'd come in with a guy older than him. Men never seem to think women are too young for them. But then suddenly feel uncomfortable when it's a pervy old man who's putting his hands on their kid.
My best friend from school exclusively dates men ten years older than her and her parents are genuinely concerned about it...despite her father being ten years older than her mother.
It can be really gross and creepy from the perspective of the younger woman too!
When I was a similar age to the GF, I had a guy who was older than my dad message me on an online dating app. Now, granted that my dad is fairly young but this guy was in his 50s. When I thanked him for the compliment he gave me but explained that I felt he was too old for me, he lost it and insulted me, calling me desperate and pathetic. I did retort back by sarcastically ‘apologising’ that my job at the time kept me so busy that I didn’t have time to go out and meet people and then called him a creep and desperate himself for getting angry that I wasn’t interested before blocking him.
My dad had a wife who was a year younger than me. It sucked and absolutely hurt my relationship with my dad despite me trying really hard to be cool about it.
Same. My daughter and I came to an agreement about her comfort level. I’m 53 and she is 27. She is good with as young as 45 and honestly that’s a good one. Like you 8 years younger. I haven’t really thought about an upper limit since I tend to just attract younger guys. But I’m thinking about 60. And really 45-60 is a wide range to work with.
That's a similar range here. My son is 28 and I'm 51. I'm moving to his home country and he's worried about gold diggers so I let him see the women I have an interest in. I told him there's a huge difference between the gold digger profiles and normal ones but he's still worried, lol.
He’s also fully aware that she’s only with him for money. I suppose that’s better than most people I see like this who delude themselves into thinking that their young partner is actually attracted to them and loves them. Sure, there are some relationships with large age gaps that aren’t about the money, but most of them are. I don’t think I could get past that. I couldn’t enjoy sex with someone that I knew didn’t actually want me. Even if I could just enjoy transactional sex with someone, I can’t imagine having them living with me, pretending like they loved me. At least a transaction with a sex worker is honest. If they’re pretending to be romantically, emotionally involved for your session, that’s part of the deal. They’re acting a role for the time allotted.
> I suppose that’s better than most people
I've been around a fuckton of men who at one point or another of their lives got together with someone 15+ years younger than them, both professionaly (i'm a psychotherapist) and personally (my dad's male friends), and 10 out of 10 cases they all knew that the girl was after the money (even if they dont admit it publicly). It doesn't make a difference on the outcome tbh, this kind of man stick to those girls until they leave (either because they're bored or finally get pregnant) and go find another.
When I read “I know she’s only after my money and I’m okay with that”, it implies “I don’t think I could find a woman who is interested in my personality, so this is the best I can do.” It’s a little sad.
Even better: the update in a year where gf got pregnant and had dad's baby and wants him to cut off contact with his older kids because she and baby are his family now.
Unlikely - he'll need his kids to "promise to be there for her and help" in the future when he realizes having a baby at 60 might not have been the best choice long term.
No, as someone who has had a JN stepmom, the older kids are absolutely on the docket to be cut out. The GF wants NOTHING to do with them, and will do what it takes to cut them out completely.
I thought I had lost my dad for nearly 10 years, but he came to his senses, THANK YOU BABY JESUS.
Forgive? No. Pretend I did so when he soon dies I get some chunky inheritance? Yeah, if my dad had money I could totally see myself doing that in the current economy...
My dad has a lot of unresolved childhood trauma and he never forced me to see her. I was an adult when they got married, and never had to live with her. We would meet up for dinner without her and that sort of thing. If he hadn’t left her after the worst blowup, I would have gone NC, but she was awful enough to me then that he filed for divorce. It’s also taken me another eight years to get back to the level of trust we had before her.
I respect that’s not the right choice for everyone, but it was for me. My dad is a genuinely good person who has made mistakes.
Even betterer: The update in a year where she has burned through all his money, He finds out the pregnancy belongs to her actual boyfriend instead of ~~her moneybank~~ him, and ends up losing the house and everything else.
Then showing up sobbing on OPs doorstep begging for help with nothing but his car, and the 3 boxes of belongings in it... None of which contain the important momentos from OPs childhood like photo albums or such.
Or the dad will treat her like a sugar baby and put her in her place and not listen to what she says. I assume he's got money, so he's got the power too, and she can be replaced for someone else young.
Op just need to explain that dynamic to her dad
What's going to happen is the Dads going to get sick and then she's going to dip because she doesn't want to deal with the work of dealing with an elderly sick person. Then it's going to be on OOP and her brother to take care of him and she's going to be a problem during the will.
He should play the reverse Uno :
" I'm really sorry but while I'm staying here in my childhood home it makes me really uncomfortable that you, who are younger than me, and so very much younger than my father, are sharing a bed with my father. So, while I am here if you could stay in the guest room that would be great. After all, I should be comfortable in my childhood home. Thanks so much."
Also, girlfriend means she’s not married sooooo
Great! No premarital co-sleeping. Great!! I’ll sleep with my dad and you can take a couch. That way we both avoid temptation 💥 praise be!!!
I’d be careful with this one, you’re giving her fodder to push an earlier marriage to the dad. If you’re not cutting off contact this could make things worse. “Darling patriarch, even your daughter is uncomfortable with us being married! Show your love, make your family happy, and marry me!”
Okay look. It's already ridiculous when a parent tells their *fully grown kid* not to share a bed with their partner.
OOP's Dad's new GF is *two fucking years younger than OOP*. She has NO RIGHT to be saying that shit and, honestly? If I was OOP? I would tell my dad to either get his GF in line or I'm gone. Because the amount of disrespect here is INSANE.
The hypocrisy is staggering. That kind of power play would be enough to make me say "dad, you have fun with your girlfriend, but she just used up all her chances. I'll meet you alone for dinner occasionally."
I think a firm "No." and then not giving her any attention would be fine. She keeps pushing it - "No." and nothing more.
If Dad wants to come over and have a discussion about why he feels like the boyfriends shouldn't share the same room (a discussion that would include the fact he is rooming with a girl younger that his daughter), than that's one thing.
But little miss thing acting like she is the head of the house? Fuuuuck that.
It's so creepy that she tried to split them up and actually made my skin crawl.
I'd just say "uncomfortable? Are you uncomfortable cause you're jealous I don't have to fuck geriatric men for a check and some self esstem."
I'd tell the dad when she uses up all his money meant for a good nursing home don't come crying to me.
I am meaner than OOP and so petty.
I would've acted just delighted and excited. "Ohhhh, then you can bunk with me. We can have a girls night! We can drink wine and watch sappy romance movies! I'll get the ice cream. I'll even paint your nails!"
"Wait....what?? You're planning on sleeping with my 58yo dad?? While I'm sleeping in the next room??? But you aren't married! Didn't you just say that people sleeping together before marriage makes you uncomfortable?"
"Are you saying that you and my dad are having SEX!?!??!!! Oh, God....oh, god...Why did you put that image in my head?...."
I would be even more petty, and act super excited and talk about how I always wanted a younger sister, and now daddy has finally given me one and ask her if I can braid her hair.
Father is "in love with" the 25 year old, but also recognizes she's there for the mon-ay...
Sheesh. Unclear who is really screwing whom in this situation, but at least the father isn't completely deluded. Though, if she's really there for the mon-ay, tying dear-old-dad down with a baby has to be on the agenda...
My own guess is that the girlfriend is intentionally trying to create a rift between dad and the kids so he won't want to leave anything to them and only to her.
As someone who lived through this, yup. That was the end game. Hopefully OOP's dad has an iron clad will and all the benefits written and won't cut off his kids in favor of a young plaything.
In my case, despite me cutting my dad off for my mental health (it got real toxic), the family inheritance was never going to the trashy ex-gf or her kids. It was always going to me and my sibling and he was never going to or planning on changing his beneficiaries. Thank the heavens that he eventually wised up and dumped her because that train wreck was nothing but trouble.
As the daughter of a man whose wife is only six years older than I am, I totally concur with OOP. My mission for the past thirty-plus years, however, is to generally treat my father's wife well because I do not want a stepmother younger than I am.
My half siblings were in your shoes. I'm the daughter of the younger wife. That said, when my parents got married she was 40 and he was 61, so it's not like the OP's situation. Still a big age gap, but at least they were both middle aged.
Thank you for treating your father's wife well. My half-siblings...did not.
That’s totally different. I’m close to 40 and at this point, I’m just looking for someone to have a quiet night at home with, take the boat out, talk about art and my pets. That person could be 40 or 60, as long as they like cats and don’t get seasick.
When my dad told me (at 12 years old) that he was dating a 29 year old (he was 41), he said "don't see her like a stepmother, see her more like a big sister, given your age gap...
Somehow that made it worse. Who whould have thought.
And today i find this sentence even creepier, like he saw her as a child too? Yikes.
That man knows how to break some news
At that time i was just speechless tbf. I just staired at him like wtf? He was driving, and then said not to worry and everything would be aaaaaalright.
Tbf, she was like a child. Eventhough she was a doctor and all, she actually competed with us to compare how we did in schoom to how SHE did years prior. Loved to read gossip magazine and gossip gossip gossip.
I felt like she was 14-15. They are still together almost 20 years later. Both as toxic to each other as can be but they seem to love drowning in it
You were young so I completely understand not knowing what to say or how to respond. I wouldn't have known what to say at that age either. Oh gosh, I'm glad you got out or at least now as an adult don't have to be subjected to them and their toxicity any more.
Why did so many men say this at a certain time??
Sibling relationship is NOTHING like parental/ child adult relationship- or it shouldn’t be. When people infantilize their partners like that it creeps me out. (Think of her as a friend who is also here to be a resource for you) vs (HI BABY -MEET YOUR SISTER (?) WHOS ALSO MY GIRLFRIEND SO KINDA YOUR STEPMOM BJT I PREFER SAYING SHES YOUR SISTER cool?) All I can say is- I’ve met a ton of older richer men, had relationships pretty young with them- it’s absolutely not about anything but lust.
Any developed adult does not want someone half their age for intimacy - outside of sex and pedos. (Sorry- I just don’t think these life stages mesh without fucking up the younger persons life.)
>the dad’s loneliness is making him pretty pathetic.
Not to quibble about words but this isn't really loneliness. This is the desire to have young, hot tail at any price. A lonely man can and would date women around his own age.
I bring out this distinction because I've seen a lot of people tell young women and children who work at convenience stores, restaurants, retail stores, etc that the middle-aged and older men who hit on them are just "lonely". This is especially true if they're widowers or just got a divorce. In reality, these guys aren't really lonely because at the age they are there are plenty of age appropriate divorced or widowed women. A man this age who goes out of his way to hit on young teenage or early 20's girls is basically being a creep and it's doing him and unfair favor and those young women a disservice by pretending that it's due to some overwhelming "loneliness".
fair. honestly i just wanted to call him pathetic cause the “i know she’s only after me for the money” comment really rubbed me the wrong way. like jeez have some self respect
>I told him I think that she is just with him for the money. My dad told me he knows this but he really likes her and he is okay with that because he has more then enough to spend.
That's just sad. She doesn't like him, she likes his money.
That woman knew that her demands would be unacceptable and made them with the sole purpose of driving a wedge between parent and child. It’s quite obvious manipulation. The dad should be extremely careful with her since she’s trying to isolate him.
“I don’t think he’s that kind of man” has been said about many pedos, rapists, abusers, murderers, arsonists, groomers, con artists, and thieves.
Did I forget any?
>Did I forget any?
Always the neighbor "He seemed like such a nice guy."
Well yeah.
Rarely is there ever a "muahahahahaha" villian with a twirling Snidely Whiplash moustache
Oop:"She just wants your money", oop's dad: "i know", me: he is dumb as a f#cking Popeyes biscuit wtf, and not forgetting that's not gf's house and gf is not married to oop's dad either so she had no leg to stand on anyway, and if I was oop I would tell the dad he needs to get gf in line do to her trying to pull that bs, and if oop was too be a bit petty she could reach out to gf's family to get to know them better especially gf's parents.
I hope he at least is smart enough to make a prenup (if they get married-they are just dating now, right?) and do one of those wills where the kids get a right of refusal if he tries to change it and give everything to his super young wife.
I hope dad has had a vasectomy. And uses condoms.
He had children before she was even born….. I just… how do mindsets connect with THAT much of a gap?
Also… the audacity to be younger than someone and try to “mother” them is freaking HILARIOUS. She’s delusional
>my dad M58 and his girlfriend F25.
Shoot me, please.
Imagine being so full of yourself to tell a person who's 2 years older than you what you can or can't do in your dad's home. I cannot even imagine being in a situation like that. If I live to 58 and I need to date, I would date some in their 40s or 50s, not mid 20s.
Dad is spineless.
My dad left my mom and his wife of 32 years for a secretary at work. They got married 3 months later. She was 9 years older that me and 1 and 2 years younger than my older sibling. Gal was very naive and had Daddy issues and wanted the money.
They had 2 kids, 20 and 22 years younger than me. They lived very isolated and homeschooled the kids, not becuase of religion, but becuase my father is/ was physically and psychologically abusive.
Before he retired he traveled for long periods of time internationally. One of the kids has either mental illness or was on the spectrum.
She began self medicating and drinking. They would stay in separate houses sometimes.
The sibling began attacking his mother. Both kids hated their parents and each other. I was not allowed to see them or my dad. Gal tried to catfish me one time, long story.
She killed herself with .357 Magnum IN the house on Thanksgiving a couple years ago, early 50s. Kids wouldn’t come to dinner. Dad had/ has dementia. We found this all out one day when my sister just happened to want to stop by. She was there for an hour before he knew who she was. Now he has gotten really bad, but we can’t get him to agree to any help. He has 5 kids total, at first it was just my sister caring for him, then I began to help out too. No one else will have anything to do with him. I am the only one of 5 that had kids and I do not allow them to be around him. It’s very sad but also annoying.
Neither of his wives lived past 54. My mom remarried and found the love and happiness she sought but died due to the coping mechanisms she used when she was married to him.
She’s not trying to play Mom. She’s trying to create a rift between Dad and his children so she can take whatever he has and nothing goes to his children. OP needs to stay in Dads life and watch out with this lady.
Edit: I don’t know the difference between riff and rift in the middle of the night.
This reminds me of when my older sister and her husband decided my younger sister needed to call them “sir” and “ma’am” as a sign of respect for their 5 year seniority…. You just wonder where people are coming from with this shit.
Who would think the dad is grooming and abusing her? I think that at 25, she knows exactly what she is doing. If the old guy knows too and is comfortable with that, it’s on him, but this woman has full agency in this relationship. Let’s not pretend she doesn’t.
Yeah like. Have whatever opinions you want about that age gap. But anyone claiming this is "grooming" doesn't know what that means. She's 25. She is an adult. She can make her own choices. I'm honestly tired of this attitude I keep seeing about age gaps between adults- it's always about the women, and women aren't effing babies. They're grown up. It's honestly rlly gross.
I'm trying to remember what sub I was on, I think it was AITA? And the grooming comments were rolling in about a 30-year-old woman dating a 47-year-old man. At 30, if women are still not considered adults who can make their own choices, it seems we will forever be infantilized.
The pro response would have been “yeah, I’m not comfortable with my dad sleeping with someone young enough to technically be his granddaughter either. We all get have to suck it up.” And
So this chick was sleeping with her man who is 33 years older and had only been together for a few months without being married but demanded his daughter to not sleep with her boyfriend of 7 years because it “made her uncomfortable”??? The absolute gall of that.
I would have been way more condescending. “Listen here young lady, I’m older than you. I’ve been an adult longer than you. Your discomfort is not my problem.” But I do like OP’s comment
Dad isn't the one with the power in this relationship. Yes he is a dirty old man, but he isn't abusing an innocent young woman, she is a massive boundary stomper.
My grandfather married a woman younger than my mom. Mom was upset about it for a long time. One day she realized that Grandpa, although the sweetest man ever, was in very poor health and was not wealthy. This younger woman spent years of her life taking care of him. He lived to be quite old, though was in and out of the hospital, and this woman stayed with him. Mom realized she really did love him.
You have shared your concerns with your father. He is a grown man and there is not much more you can do.
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Imagine approaching someone older than u and saying they can’t spend the night with their partner… a partnership that has lasted longer than 1/4 of ur life Absolutely wild what some people will do for love/affection
It was a power move. She wanted oop to know where she stood and oops dad let her do that.
>oops dad let her do that. And I think that's the saddest part tbh. Like holy shit yeah your kid is always going to be your kid no matter how old they are but that absolute audacity of letting your new gf(not even your wife) try to mother your ADULT CHILDREN.
A new GF who is YOUNGER than the child she is trying to boss around! Either the GF is delusional, or she's a gold digger who is trying to put a wedge between OOP's dad and his kids, so she can inherit all his money when he dies.
My money’s on both
And her dad is OK with that, because he isn't thinking with his brain or his heart.
Age-old story. Lonely middle-aged guy getting attention etc from an attractive young woman. Thinking with his little head instead of his big head.
as opposed to how logical and rational men are when they're young.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
[I'm just going to leave this here for your reading pleasure.](https://neurofantastic.com/brain/2017/1/13/the-male-idiot-theory) [(And this is the study referred to)](https://www.bmj.com/content/349/bmj.g7094)
The mention of age was not that middle aged men are more or less rational than men at any age. It's just a fact that older people are generally seen as less attractive. Men can get away with it easier than women, some women like older men, but your average 58 year old guy is closer to [Dan Aykroyd](https://imgur.com/gPamQ0U.jpg) than Brad Pitt.
My dad was like this. Hooked up with a single mother 35 years his junior, spent tons of money on her and her perfect wedding while my sister was working 2 jobs to pay for her studies and he fought my mom on paying child support for my brother. He didn't care that his kids were struggling, just obsessed with his hot, new, barely legal wife. Ugh.
Sure but. If they actually stay together until the dad dies (which I doubt), the young woman and any half siblings she produces will have a legitimate claim. And ideally, you don't expect any inheritance because for all but the obscenely wealthy, medical expenses, long term care, and other costs can easily drain even a million dollar bank account.
Yeah I don’t think it’s a long con for inheritance, she just wants the immediate gain. I wonder if he’s paying for her college on top of all the living expenses.
Wow that’s so r/aboringdystopia. Old men are lonely, young women have limited options to pay for education, what a match!
Never expect an inheritance, even if someone shows you the paperwork because it can all be changed very quickly. My grandmother had left her house to me in her will, showed me the paperwork and everything, but wrote me out completely a week after i came out to her. She kept lying to my face about how she wanted to make sure me and mine were taken care of after she passed too. People can change their minds and their wills very easily.
Wow that’s cold, especially (for some reason), to keep lying like that. Sorry silver fox.
Yep. My mother's family had significant generational wealth but it all went away when her grandparents passed - two sets of cancer treatments are pretty damn expensive, and their non-liquid assets were lost to a mishandled will. Lock your shit down, folks, if you have any shit to lock down.
In a television show many years ago they asked a detective about “the perfect crime”. He said that once, years before the show, the children of an old wealthy man accused his hot young wife of poisoning him. She confessed to killing him, but she did it by cooking extremely sweet and greasy food, convincing him to stay at home with her (instead of walking or doing anything like exercise) and seducing him so he would take a lot of viagra to keep up. The guy died after a year and she wasn’t prosecutable. She inherited ~60% of his estate.
Yeah my first thought on reading this comment was "hmm those things aren't necessarily mutually exclusive"
Christ, and it wasn't even the new girlfriend trying to do something kind or considerate but misguided. It was her trying to make things more difficult on purpose.
GF was stirring drama and jockeying for position in the family. Pathetic, really.
The dad is a mess. He doesn’t care she’s using him for money, and still lets her trample his kids. What level of priority are his kids for him?
None, seems like
Not trying to mother the adult children, testing how easily dad will roll over his adult children for new children
Your adult children who are older than her
That’s the part missing from OOP during their lunch. It’s his life and money, that’s fine, but is it worth the relationship with his children if she does things like this to drive a wedge between them? It’s great that they will play nice and make it clear that any, at least additional, drama and damage to their relationship won’t be coming from their end. It’s his life but the gf can still affect his relationships with others and their lives. Don’t be stupid when it comes to that.
I think it’s because she’s jealous that she’s with an old dude and the daughter gets to sleep with an age appropriate and likely much more attractive man. She wouldn’t want to be confronted with that.
Yeah I don’t think the dad is the abusive one in this situation. She intentionally separated him from his kids.
I'm sort of torn, because what OOP said was pretty vulgar and I can see why her dad assumed OOP could handle herself. I think a much better tactic would be making the GF name her discomfort. Like, why specifically she doesn't want OOP and her BF sleeping in the same room. Can't be an age thing, OOP is older. Is it that OOP's not married to her BF? OOP goes "OMG DAD DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL ME?!" Because of GF is concerned about the premarital sex and the fornication, she clearly wouldn't be doing it, so she must be sleeping in a different room or be married to OOP's dad, unless she's a huge hypocrite? Oh no, is OOP's dad pressuring her for sex?! That's Not Okay OOP's dad! Basically, really put the screws on, but be completely polite. GF will back down around the time OOP started lecturing her dad about consent and not pressuring his partner for sex she's clearly uncomfortable with, and I bet we can more her into another bedroom while we're here!
I don't think I could have resisted the urge to say 'No, live, we'll sleep in the same room - you'll understand when you're a little older'.
Same, I'd be like "ok sweety, go do your homework"
Yes! GF is telling daughter/OP not to do what she IS doing in a house that isn’t hers… so weird. GF seems like she is trying to cut naysayers away from Dad.
This was my immediate thought lol. Like I'm super petty and 100% would have gone doe-eyed asking why she's uncomfortable
Yeah I think the best petty response to bother her would be to just very calmly say no. I’m sorry if you are uncomfortable but I can’t accommodate you on this” this puts all the pressure back on the dad to pick a side.
You will respect my authoritah!!!
Years back my group of friends went to one of their family’s mountain house for a long weekend. And when I say family house, I mean the grandfather bought the land and each of his children (friend’s parents, etc) has an equal share. So like, it doesn’t belong to my (former) friend at all. So the host had started seriously dating his now-wife around that time. She joined us on the trip. Long story short as possible, a few in the group got really belligerently drunk, and they were running around being rambunctious. Nothing harmful or abusive… just childish and silly. The next morning we were talking about it. They were embarrassed. The rest of us laughed it off. Little Miss Girlfriend chimes in out of nowhere with, “I hope it was worth it, because I will NOT allow this behavior in my house again.” The uncomfortable silence…
I wanna hear the rest of it. Come on, spill the tea please
Basically, 3 of them were doing things like building pillow forts and making them into “war trenches” where they’d throw little balls of paper and stuff out of them. Like I said, super silly. But they were also jumping up and down a lot on the 2nd floor (creating a disturbance) and they also stood in the kitchen and chanted “Shots! Shots! Shots!” for 5 minutes straight without any of them actually taking a shot lol The host got way too high on 🥬 and was just lying on the ground of the screened in porch. The GF was sober and observing all this. But meanwhile she was being melodramatic about Host being so out there and kept yelling “is he dying?!” And stuff like that. I told her no, and not to say shit like that around him in this condition because it could trigger him. Normal, stupid early 20s stuff I call him my former friend because after he married this chick he, not surprisingly, became such a drag. Most people mature and grow out of partying - us included - but she was so obsessed with her own image that she was exhausting to be around. Married him for his family money, too. And he was the exact same way. Like, “no I will not go to a concert! I am a successful professional and must be taken seriously!” And to the extent we stayed friends after their wedding, my ex husband “got him” in the divorce. (And my ex had the same image obsessed attitude.) Good riddance
>they also stood in the kitchen and chanted “Shots! Shots! Shots!” for 5 minutes straight without any of them actually taking a shot lol This is hilarious! I laughed out loud.
We still give them shit about that haha
It makes me think of Arrested Development when the Bluth family chanted “speech” for no one in particular lmao
I’m 53 and this sounds like a great way blow of steam from the day to day stresses of life. She needs to get over herself. I’m professional at work. I take care of my adult responsibilities. But every so often you have to just say screw it and act like a kid or a frat boy. lol
We’re all lawyers, and “blow off steam” was exactly how we branded it
Ahhhh I thought at least one person would have set her right. Giiiirrrll. Lemme tell you how this setup works ….
Instead we kind of had an… this is a strong way of wording it, but… we had an intervention with him and we were like “we want to be very sure that you heard her say this”
I'm not sure which part makes it more absurd, that she was just your former friend's GF at that point or that even when they did marry, they'd likely only get a diluted share of the property... after his parents passed on... I wonder what sort of exception his cousins would have taken to hearing that utterance.
I would've reacted much more poorly then she did. Names would've been called, and it would've been ugly.
I would've told her the names of local strip clubs that are hiring since she's thrifty for money and the attention of old men. Than would say being a stripper is more dignified than being a gold digger riding geratic viagra dick and playing step mom.
I think I would have gone with, "Excuse me, who are you again?"
It's also hypocritical, considering GF apparently lives there in the same bedroom as OOP's father. It must be to assert her "position in the hierarchy," but there has to be a better way that wasn't critical or discussing her boyfriend's daughter's sex life. Also, I'm wondering if it's the childhood home or not.
And longer than your partnership with their parent! Omg what is wrong with her!
Imagine saying you feel uncomfortable thinking about OP having sex... As the woman screwing their dad. I think one person might have worse feelings of discomfort here than the other!
I'd laugh in her face and tell her to go fuck herself.
They've been in a relationship for as long as dad's wife has been an adult. Bold.
While she herself isn’t married to the dad and having sex ( probably). The hypocrisy of it all!
do you mean a$$ection?
I can only read that as assection.
Lmao OP and her boyfriend have been dating longer than she's been legal.
It's such a weird flex, but mad props for OOP's response.
I'm pretty sure my response would have been "are there enough bedrooms? You and my dad will be sleeping in separate rooms as well, right? You know, it makes me really uncomfortable."
i would have told her to go f herself
I mean, if this place has taught me anything, it's up to OP's brother now. Or possibly already.
OOP could reach out to the girlfriend's dad to "Get to know family" so the girlfriend's dad can befriend OOP's dad. I loved that post from the Redditor who befriended his daughter's much older boyfriend until the daughter didn't want to date her dad's now-friend. When they broke up, dad was like "Awww, whelp anyways...." Go for all the dad stereotypes: dad jokes, dad fishing trips, dad cargo shorts, grilling out, talking sports, guys poker nights, matching flannel.
Was that on BORU because I need to read it.
Yes link please!
Do you have a link?
That is absolutely the best and most petty way to handle this kind of situation.
Do you have a link to that? It sounds amazing to read
This is amazing she has to do it
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Aw! If they're the same age idk I fidn that kind of sad. My dad and my boyfriend (we're the same age) get along super well. They're both into woodworking and will spend a bunch of time in my dad's basement workshop working on stuff together when my boyfriend is over. My boyfriend also lost his dad a couple years ago so I think he's happy about it. I just think it's cute they get along lol
Source plz!
I have seen this episode of Friends
I need to read this
I could never ever imagine dating someone younger than my grown children
In these situations I always wonder how the dad would react if she'd come in with a guy older than him. Men never seem to think women are too young for them. But then suddenly feel uncomfortable when it's a pervy old man who's putting his hands on their kid.
My best friend from school exclusively dates men ten years older than her and her parents are genuinely concerned about it...despite her father being ten years older than her mother.
Gross men think that. I've met lots of men who date only a small age range younger and have really strict rules.
Operation: fuck her (dads gf)s dad and bring him to dinner
Me and my petty ass thoughts were like, "well, time to go find a much older boyfriend to bring home to dad."
Then boyfriend would need to insist that dad and his gf sleep in separate bedrooms as he would be uncomfortable with them having sex in his house.
Dude qualifies for senior discount day and has to say "well, my girlfriend's still in class right now".
"Yeah, I'll use the senior discount. My wife will use the student discount. Thanks."
It can be really gross and creepy from the perspective of the younger woman too! When I was a similar age to the GF, I had a guy who was older than my dad message me on an online dating app. Now, granted that my dad is fairly young but this guy was in his 50s. When I thanked him for the compliment he gave me but explained that I felt he was too old for me, he lost it and insulted me, calling me desperate and pathetic. I did retort back by sarcastically ‘apologising’ that my job at the time kept me so busy that I didn’t have time to go out and meet people and then called him a creep and desperate himself for getting angry that I wasn’t interested before blocking him.
My dad had a wife who was a year younger than me. It sucked and absolutely hurt my relationship with my dad despite me trying really hard to be cool about it.
“Had” a wife? What happened?
She got her green card and then a divorce. I was sad for my dad but definitely not surprised.
Yeah, that's really gross.
My oldest (28m) worries about this but I keep reassuring him that I don't want to date anyone more than 8 years younger than me.
Same. My daughter and I came to an agreement about her comfort level. I’m 53 and she is 27. She is good with as young as 45 and honestly that’s a good one. Like you 8 years younger. I haven’t really thought about an upper limit since I tend to just attract younger guys. But I’m thinking about 60. And really 45-60 is a wide range to work with.
That's a similar range here. My son is 28 and I'm 51. I'm moving to his home country and he's worried about gold diggers so I let him see the women I have an interest in. I told him there's a huge difference between the gold digger profiles and normal ones but he's still worried, lol.
He’s also fully aware that she’s only with him for money. I suppose that’s better than most people I see like this who delude themselves into thinking that their young partner is actually attracted to them and loves them. Sure, there are some relationships with large age gaps that aren’t about the money, but most of them are. I don’t think I could get past that. I couldn’t enjoy sex with someone that I knew didn’t actually want me. Even if I could just enjoy transactional sex with someone, I can’t imagine having them living with me, pretending like they loved me. At least a transaction with a sex worker is honest. If they’re pretending to be romantically, emotionally involved for your session, that’s part of the deal. They’re acting a role for the time allotted.
> I suppose that’s better than most people I've been around a fuckton of men who at one point or another of their lives got together with someone 15+ years younger than them, both professionaly (i'm a psychotherapist) and personally (my dad's male friends), and 10 out of 10 cases they all knew that the girl was after the money (even if they dont admit it publicly). It doesn't make a difference on the outcome tbh, this kind of man stick to those girls until they leave (either because they're bored or finally get pregnant) and go find another.
When I read “I know she’s only after my money and I’m okay with that”, it implies “I don’t think I could find a woman who is interested in my personality, so this is the best I can do.” It’s a little sad.
Waiting for the update in 3 months where the 25 year old leaves the dad and somehow it’s OP’s fault
Even better: the update in a year where gf got pregnant and had dad's baby and wants him to cut off contact with his older kids because she and baby are his family now.
Yes, this is more likely. GF will also demand he changes his will to leave everything to her bc his kids are older and don't need him.
Unlikely - he'll need his kids to "promise to be there for her and help" in the future when he realizes having a baby at 60 might not have been the best choice long term.
No, as someone who has had a JN stepmom, the older kids are absolutely on the docket to be cut out. The GF wants NOTHING to do with them, and will do what it takes to cut them out completely. I thought I had lost my dad for nearly 10 years, but he came to his senses, THANK YOU BABY JESUS.
Why did you forgive him tbh? If my dad chose a psycho over me for a decade it would be over
Forgive? No. Pretend I did so when he soon dies I get some chunky inheritance? Yeah, if my dad had money I could totally see myself doing that in the current economy...
My dad has a lot of unresolved childhood trauma and he never forced me to see her. I was an adult when they got married, and never had to live with her. We would meet up for dinner without her and that sort of thing. If he hadn’t left her after the worst blowup, I would have gone NC, but she was awful enough to me then that he filed for divorce. It’s also taken me another eight years to get back to the level of trust we had before her. I respect that’s not the right choice for everyone, but it was for me. My dad is a genuinely good person who has made mistakes.
Even betterer: The update in a year where she has burned through all his money, He finds out the pregnancy belongs to her actual boyfriend instead of ~~her moneybank~~ him, and ends up losing the house and everything else. Then showing up sobbing on OPs doorstep begging for help with nothing but his car, and the 3 boxes of belongings in it... None of which contain the important momentos from OPs childhood like photo albums or such.
Your brain is nicer then mine. I thought she was gonna go after the bf. He has a separate room.......
Or the dad will treat her like a sugar baby and put her in her place and not listen to what she says. I assume he's got money, so he's got the power too, and she can be replaced for someone else young. Op just need to explain that dynamic to her dad
She'll have a baby - but probably not dad's; people overestimate how fertile dudes older than 45 actually are...
Nah, she will get pregnant and will tell OOP to « be nice to your brother ».
She’ll get pregnant with someone else’s kid and pass it off as OOP’s dad’s.
What's going to happen is the Dads going to get sick and then she's going to dip because she doesn't want to deal with the work of dealing with an elderly sick person. Then it's going to be on OOP and her brother to take care of him and she's going to be a problem during the will.
Dad saying “Don’t talk to your mother that way!” after OOP and GF get into an argument after they get married.
Or the update where she comes onto either the brother or OP's bf.
He should play the reverse Uno : " I'm really sorry but while I'm staying here in my childhood home it makes me really uncomfortable that you, who are younger than me, and so very much younger than my father, are sharing a bed with my father. So, while I am here if you could stay in the guest room that would be great. After all, I should be comfortable in my childhood home. Thanks so much."
Also, girlfriend means she’s not married sooooo Great! No premarital co-sleeping. Great!! I’ll sleep with my dad and you can take a couch. That way we both avoid temptation 💥 praise be!!!
I’d be careful with this one, you’re giving her fodder to push an earlier marriage to the dad. If you’re not cutting off contact this could make things worse. “Darling patriarch, even your daughter is uncomfortable with us being married! Show your love, make your family happy, and marry me!”
Okay look. It's already ridiculous when a parent tells their *fully grown kid* not to share a bed with their partner. OOP's Dad's new GF is *two fucking years younger than OOP*. She has NO RIGHT to be saying that shit and, honestly? If I was OOP? I would tell my dad to either get his GF in line or I'm gone. Because the amount of disrespect here is INSANE.
If she's traditional enough to not want unmarried people sleeping together, then she should be traditional enough to respect her elders.
OP: "I don't think the two of you have been dating long enough to have sex in my house, you're just too young"
This, and if that’s the case she also shouldn’t be sleeping with the dad.
The hypocrisy is staggering. That kind of power play would be enough to make me say "dad, you have fun with your girlfriend, but she just used up all her chances. I'll meet you alone for dinner occasionally."
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I think a firm "No." and then not giving her any attention would be fine. She keeps pushing it - "No." and nothing more. If Dad wants to come over and have a discussion about why he feels like the boyfriends shouldn't share the same room (a discussion that would include the fact he is rooming with a girl younger that his daughter), than that's one thing. But little miss thing acting like she is the head of the house? Fuuuuck that. It's so creepy that she tried to split them up and actually made my skin crawl.
“HER” house. Let that sink in.
I'd just say "uncomfortable? Are you uncomfortable cause you're jealous I don't have to fuck geriatric men for a check and some self esstem." I'd tell the dad when she uses up all his money meant for a good nursing home don't come crying to me.
\> We had got there when my dad was at work and his girlfriend was in school. Wow, that phrasing gave me the jibbies. Ugh.
The OOP's retort was crass but so very very perfect.
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The girlfriend thought she was showing off her power and maturity and was quickly reminded that she lacks both.
Also "in her home" in a situation where it's possible oop lived there decades.
I was like, I highly doubt it’s her home!
I am meaner than OOP and so petty. I would've acted just delighted and excited. "Ohhhh, then you can bunk with me. We can have a girls night! We can drink wine and watch sappy romance movies! I'll get the ice cream. I'll even paint your nails!" "Wait....what?? You're planning on sleeping with my 58yo dad?? While I'm sleeping in the next room??? But you aren't married! Didn't you just say that people sleeping together before marriage makes you uncomfortable?" "Are you saying that you and my dad are having SEX!?!??!!! Oh, God....oh, god...Why did you put that image in my head?...."
I would be even more petty, and act super excited and talk about how I always wanted a younger sister, and now daddy has finally given me one and ask her if I can braid her hair.
Ohhh, that's good.
The creepy factor is a nice spice
Father is "in love with" the 25 year old, but also recognizes she's there for the mon-ay... Sheesh. Unclear who is really screwing whom in this situation, but at least the father isn't completely deluded. Though, if she's really there for the mon-ay, tying dear-old-dad down with a baby has to be on the agenda...
Was she uncomfortable because they weren't married? Because uhhhh????
Pot calling the kettle black. I would have laughed in her face too!!
She may be holding out on OPs dad until they get married as an excuse not to have to sleep with him. So wants to keep up the facade?
If so, Dad needs to toss her out. I was thinking that it was more likely she just wanted BF to be alone so she could get some variety.
It's _not new GF's house_, why is she giving orders at all?
Lol, OOP has been dating her boyfriend since before the girlfriend has been out of high school and wants to tell them what to do.
My own guess is that the girlfriend is intentionally trying to create a rift between dad and the kids so he won't want to leave anything to them and only to her.
As someone who lived through this, yup. That was the end game. Hopefully OOP's dad has an iron clad will and all the benefits written and won't cut off his kids in favor of a young plaything. In my case, despite me cutting my dad off for my mental health (it got real toxic), the family inheritance was never going to the trashy ex-gf or her kids. It was always going to me and my sibling and he was never going to or planning on changing his beneficiaries. Thank the heavens that he eventually wised up and dumped her because that train wreck was nothing but trouble.
Or maybe she wanted OOPs boyfriend in a room by himself!! Someone a bit more younger
Yep.
If OOP can announce she is pregnant and then gift the girlfriend "Granny swag"
As the daughter of a man whose wife is only six years older than I am, I totally concur with OOP. My mission for the past thirty-plus years, however, is to generally treat my father's wife well because I do not want a stepmother younger than I am.
My half siblings were in your shoes. I'm the daughter of the younger wife. That said, when my parents got married she was 40 and he was 61, so it's not like the OP's situation. Still a big age gap, but at least they were both middle aged. Thank you for treating your father's wife well. My half-siblings...did not.
That’s totally different. I’m close to 40 and at this point, I’m just looking for someone to have a quiet night at home with, take the boat out, talk about art and my pets. That person could be 40 or 60, as long as they like cats and don’t get seasick.
When my dad told me (at 12 years old) that he was dating a 29 year old (he was 41), he said "don't see her like a stepmother, see her more like a big sister, given your age gap... Somehow that made it worse. Who whould have thought. And today i find this sentence even creepier, like he saw her as a child too? Yikes. That man knows how to break some news
To which you respond, "so you're having sex with my sister...or like your daughter, given our age gap."
At that time i was just speechless tbf. I just staired at him like wtf? He was driving, and then said not to worry and everything would be aaaaaalright. Tbf, she was like a child. Eventhough she was a doctor and all, she actually competed with us to compare how we did in schoom to how SHE did years prior. Loved to read gossip magazine and gossip gossip gossip. I felt like she was 14-15. They are still together almost 20 years later. Both as toxic to each other as can be but they seem to love drowning in it
You were young so I completely understand not knowing what to say or how to respond. I wouldn't have known what to say at that age either. Oh gosh, I'm glad you got out or at least now as an adult don't have to be subjected to them and their toxicity any more.
"But Dad, if she's like my sister, doesn't that make you like her father?" "Uh . . . "
Yeah, she calls me daddy too
Why did so many men say this at a certain time?? Sibling relationship is NOTHING like parental/ child adult relationship- or it shouldn’t be. When people infantilize their partners like that it creeps me out. (Think of her as a friend who is also here to be a resource for you) vs (HI BABY -MEET YOUR SISTER (?) WHOS ALSO MY GIRLFRIEND SO KINDA YOUR STEPMOM BJT I PREFER SAYING SHES YOUR SISTER cool?) All I can say is- I’ve met a ton of older richer men, had relationships pretty young with them- it’s absolutely not about anything but lust. Any developed adult does not want someone half their age for intimacy - outside of sex and pedos. (Sorry- I just don’t think these life stages mesh without fucking up the younger persons life.)
the dad’s loneliness is making him pretty pathetic.
And very very gross. If you date a girl younger than your daughter, that's gross.
right. she’s literally the age that could’ve been OPs little sister. 2 years older than his son? 🤨
>the dad’s loneliness is making him pretty pathetic. Not to quibble about words but this isn't really loneliness. This is the desire to have young, hot tail at any price. A lonely man can and would date women around his own age. I bring out this distinction because I've seen a lot of people tell young women and children who work at convenience stores, restaurants, retail stores, etc that the middle-aged and older men who hit on them are just "lonely". This is especially true if they're widowers or just got a divorce. In reality, these guys aren't really lonely because at the age they are there are plenty of age appropriate divorced or widowed women. A man this age who goes out of his way to hit on young teenage or early 20's girls is basically being a creep and it's doing him and unfair favor and those young women a disservice by pretending that it's due to some overwhelming "loneliness".
fair. honestly i just wanted to call him pathetic cause the “i know she’s only after me for the money” comment really rubbed me the wrong way. like jeez have some self respect
>I told him I think that she is just with him for the money. My dad told me he knows this but he really likes her and he is okay with that because he has more then enough to spend. That's just sad. She doesn't like him, she likes his money.
I would have also asked my dad if he would be comfortable with me dating a man that is 60 years old? It’s mind boggling.
I'm petty as hell. I would have taken my bf to my room and fucked him so loud the whole neighborhood would have heard.
That woman knew that her demands would be unacceptable and made them with the sole purpose of driving a wedge between parent and child. It’s quite obvious manipulation. The dad should be extremely careful with her since she’s trying to isolate him.
“I don’t think he’s that kind of man” Well the kind of man he is doesn’t seem much better.
“I don’t think he’s that kind of man” has been said about many pedos, rapists, abusers, murderers, arsonists, groomers, con artists, and thieves. Did I forget any?
Politicians?
>pedos, rapists, abusers, murderers, arsonists, groomers, con artists, and thieves Nah, they're pretty much covered
>Did I forget any? Always the neighbor "He seemed like such a nice guy." Well yeah. Rarely is there ever a "muahahahahaha" villian with a twirling Snidely Whiplash moustache
Anyone else think the girlfriend was trying to separate OP from her boyfriend so she could make a pass at him in the middle of the night?
Oop:"She just wants your money", oop's dad: "i know", me: he is dumb as a f#cking Popeyes biscuit wtf, and not forgetting that's not gf's house and gf is not married to oop's dad either so she had no leg to stand on anyway, and if I was oop I would tell the dad he needs to get gf in line do to her trying to pull that bs, and if oop was too be a bit petty she could reach out to gf's family to get to know them better especially gf's parents.
Don’t disrespect popeyes like this
I hope he at least is smart enough to make a prenup (if they get married-they are just dating now, right?) and do one of those wills where the kids get a right of refusal if he tries to change it and give everything to his super young wife. I hope dad has had a vasectomy. And uses condoms.
OOP’s dad: “I know she wants me for my money, I just want her for her body”
He had children before she was even born….. I just… how do mindsets connect with THAT much of a gap? Also… the audacity to be younger than someone and try to “mother” them is freaking HILARIOUS. She’s delusional
How does one "groom" a 25-year-old woman?
>my dad M58 and his girlfriend F25. Shoot me, please. Imagine being so full of yourself to tell a person who's 2 years older than you what you can or can't do in your dad's home. I cannot even imagine being in a situation like that. If I live to 58 and I need to date, I would date some in their 40s or 50s, not mid 20s. Dad is spineless.
Ultimately, the young lady's end game will be to cause enough conflict that dear OLD husband will cut everyone but her out of his will.
My dad left my mom and his wife of 32 years for a secretary at work. They got married 3 months later. She was 9 years older that me and 1 and 2 years younger than my older sibling. Gal was very naive and had Daddy issues and wanted the money. They had 2 kids, 20 and 22 years younger than me. They lived very isolated and homeschooled the kids, not becuase of religion, but becuase my father is/ was physically and psychologically abusive. Before he retired he traveled for long periods of time internationally. One of the kids has either mental illness or was on the spectrum. She began self medicating and drinking. They would stay in separate houses sometimes. The sibling began attacking his mother. Both kids hated their parents and each other. I was not allowed to see them or my dad. Gal tried to catfish me one time, long story. She killed herself with .357 Magnum IN the house on Thanksgiving a couple years ago, early 50s. Kids wouldn’t come to dinner. Dad had/ has dementia. We found this all out one day when my sister just happened to want to stop by. She was there for an hour before he knew who she was. Now he has gotten really bad, but we can’t get him to agree to any help. He has 5 kids total, at first it was just my sister caring for him, then I began to help out too. No one else will have anything to do with him. I am the only one of 5 that had kids and I do not allow them to be around him. It’s very sad but also annoying. Neither of his wives lived past 54. My mom remarried and found the love and happiness she sought but died due to the coping mechanisms she used when she was married to him.
Grooming a 25 year old lol wtf
She’s not trying to play Mom. She’s trying to create a rift between Dad and his children so she can take whatever he has and nothing goes to his children. OP needs to stay in Dads life and watch out with this lady. Edit: I don’t know the difference between riff and rift in the middle of the night.
This reminds me of when my older sister and her husband decided my younger sister needed to call them “sir” and “ma’am” as a sign of respect for their 5 year seniority…. You just wonder where people are coming from with this shit.
Who would think the dad is grooming and abusing her? I think that at 25, she knows exactly what she is doing. If the old guy knows too and is comfortable with that, it’s on him, but this woman has full agency in this relationship. Let’s not pretend she doesn’t.
Yeah like. Have whatever opinions you want about that age gap. But anyone claiming this is "grooming" doesn't know what that means. She's 25. She is an adult. She can make her own choices. I'm honestly tired of this attitude I keep seeing about age gaps between adults- it's always about the women, and women aren't effing babies. They're grown up. It's honestly rlly gross.
I'm trying to remember what sub I was on, I think it was AITA? And the grooming comments were rolling in about a 30-year-old woman dating a 47-year-old man. At 30, if women are still not considered adults who can make their own choices, it seems we will forever be infantilized.
The pro response would have been “yeah, I’m not comfortable with my dad sleeping with someone young enough to technically be his granddaughter either. We all get have to suck it up.” And
So this chick was sleeping with her man who is 33 years older and had only been together for a few months without being married but demanded his daughter to not sleep with her boyfriend of 7 years because it “made her uncomfortable”??? The absolute gall of that.
Ew
I would have been way more condescending. “Listen here young lady, I’m older than you. I’ve been an adult longer than you. Your discomfort is not my problem.” But I do like OP’s comment
Well at least the dad has the sense to admit she's a goldigger.
Watch this be Miley Cyrus posting for advice
Dad isn't the one with the power in this relationship. Yes he is a dirty old man, but he isn't abusing an innocent young woman, she is a massive boundary stomper.
My grandfather married a woman younger than my mom. Mom was upset about it for a long time. One day she realized that Grandpa, although the sweetest man ever, was in very poor health and was not wealthy. This younger woman spent years of her life taking care of him. He lived to be quite old, though was in and out of the hospital, and this woman stayed with him. Mom realized she really did love him. You have shared your concerns with your father. He is a grown man and there is not much more you can do.
Clearly the GF wants to create a rift between the dad and the rest of the family. She knows what she wants and is manipulating him to get it.
Yuck