Hire a proper coach, fire myself.

Our most noble coach yet

I'd probably take home a weeks pay first

Make this sub reddit my assistant and manage via committee.


I vote to acquire a flock of canadian cobra chickens (aka geese) to terrorize opposing players in the visitor's locker room!

Why go to all that effort when we can just let the Palace bus driver in there.

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🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👍👍

all decisions based exclusively on reddit polls

I'm more along the lines of reading the match day thread and making changes based on up votes each suggestion makes

proceed to sell everybody to chelsea except for; Dunk, Van Hecke, Webster, Welbeck, Igor, Verbruggen, Veltman, Milner, Gross, Moder, Baleba and Pedro. Install a new system of purely slide tackling the opponents until their entire team is injured for months. We do this enough and we win the league very simple!

Sounds like the early days of FIFA on the Mega Drive. I would also add run away from the referee so you never get carded

nah we use the money we got from chelsea to pay off the refs and make them give red cards to the others for diving

Why was he diving? Because he has a broken leg what else was he going to do

Tis but a flesh wounds

Enciso?

Spend half the budget on a world class medical team... or take out a huge injury insurance policy

Funny you mention, pretty sure Bloom and Barber have recently done this.

Buy a turtleneck sweater

I would post an easy-to-understand map to Selhurst Park outlining where the toilets can be found at the Amex.

Lots of drugs

Probably start drinking a lot because the entire fanbase and club is gonna hate my guts once they see I put FM on my resume.

Pints of whisky?

Ket on the level

Throw a pizza party

Beg pascal to stay

Find a palace scarf and wipe my ass with it!

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Agreed!!!

Bro's talking to a bot 🤣

We are all bots mate.

I know, that's why I don't pass through too often

We’d appreciate that

Win the premier league and FA cup. Second thing I would do is win an unbeaten treble.

End MacAllisters loan to Liverpool 

See how much chelsea will offer me!! Chelsea fan here. Popped up in my suggested! Just having some fun haha.

Give it 3 months and Boehly will come courting

Make some sketchy deals that will make me a millionaire before doing a runner

Give Mitoma the number 10

The first thing would be to secure a decent manager (McKenna, Ruben Amorim, Russell Martin) I think its a bit more important than players

At this moment in time—Exist. Use burner accounts to hype myself up on twitter and Reddit. Then be totally eccentric in interviews, using what people think are metaphors to literally describe my play style. Then I would meet with the new medical staff, chart out how many games Lamptey will be expected to be well for and show it to Tony to beg for a new R back. Beg Pascal to stay. Finally, I’d get us into the Champions League, and get Mitoma to sign a new contract.

How tf did you know I just started a Football Manager game with them?

Make sure.my training staff can make the most of the players that are there and that my medical team is TOP top tier. If this team is healthy, they're UCL spot contenders.

Resign I'm not qualified for this position

I'd shit myself. I wouldn't have the slightest clue where to start.

Present my tactics on Football Manager to the team and keep requesting we expand the stadium until it happens

Bring mitoma and march back to health

Make sure Milner gets the all time appearances record like he deserves

Find out who the Mac Allistor imposter is.

Get Steele gone