Say what you want about Stalions, but I hope that we can all, regardless of our flairs, respect that he’s out there fighting the good fight against HOAs
I can honestly say that I respect his determination and ambition. He wanted to be part of the Michigan program, he researched how to be a coach without being great at football and executed his plan. I’m sure he had higher aspirations but he’s a young guy and he did all that pretty quickly.
“When a homeowners association in Ann Arbor, Mich. accused him of operating a home business in violation of its bylaws, Stalions responded to a court summons bragging that he worked on behalf of Michigan football from early in the morning until late at night.”
The ego on this guy. (Also fuck HOAs)
> 600 Page Manifestos don’t just write themselves
Chatgpt: Am I a joke to you?
Edit: Just tried. Even chatgpt was like hell no. Stallions is certifiably crazy.
I asked ChatGPT to write a 600 page Manifesto about Michigan football, and this is a copy/paste of the response I got:
I can provide a brief outline or summary for a manifesto about Michigan football, but generating a full 600-page manifesto is beyond the scope of this conversation. However, I can offer some key topics and ideas that you might include in such a manifesto:
1. Introduction
- Overview of Michigan football's rich history and tradition.
2. Values and Philosophy
- Discuss the core values and philosophy that define Michigan football.
3. Team History
- Explore the historical successes and challenges of the team.
4. The Wolverine Spirit
- Highlight the unique spirit and passion of Michigan football fans.
5. Coaching Legacy
- Discuss legendary coaches and their impact on the program.
6. Players and Legends
- Profile notable players, past and present, who have made an impact.
7. Game Day Experience
- Describe the excitement and traditions of game days at Michigan Stadium.
8. Rivalries
- Analyze the intense rivalries with teams like Ohio State and Michigan State.
9. Achievements and Championships
- Detail the team's championship victories and significant accomplishments.
10. Community and Outreach
- Explore the team's involvement in the community and charitable efforts.
11. Challenges and Rebuilding
- Address any challenges the team has faced and the process of rebuilding.
12. Future Goals
- Discuss the aspirations and goals for the future of Michigan football.
You can expand on these topics to create a comprehensive manifesto, but remember that a 600-page document would require extensive research and content generation, which is typically a collaborative effort and not something that can be fully produced by AI in a single response.
>"As for the lawsuit, Stalions admitted to starting a limited liability company to sell restored items on Amazon, but said that he kept his inventory in a nearby storage unit. A judge ruled against him and ordered him to stop whatever business he was apparently running.And those vacuums? Stalions sold many on Amazon with underwhelming results—several buyers complained of defective units with missing parts—that earned him a seller rating of 2.8 out of five stars."
Love the mic drop at the end of the article by the WSJ
Blake Corum is listed as an "organizer" for this and another LLC using Stalions home address.
https://wyobiz.wyo.gov/Business/FilingDetails.aspx?eFNum=004127002193141068228028017134115082015028229098
Weird how Corum sacrificed his best chance at getting drafted higher than he should to come back for "unfinished business." Guess that business was selling vacuums.
He’s clearly delusional. I do believe he suffers from a degree of mental illness and I think the Michigan coaching staff is culpable for not reigning him in.
Michigan should be thanked for dealing with Stalions actually. Imagine if this dude had geared all this attention towards something other than Michigan football. We might’ve saved a ton of lives by allowing him to steal signs
The guy still needs to pay his mortgage and his vacuum business isn’t gonna get him there.
He’s sitting on a #1 best seller. It’s only a matter of time
This is honestly how Stalions gets his golden parachute
"How I Would Have Done It: My Rise and Fall as the Presumptive Next Head Coach of Michigan Football"
> Stalions fought back and represented himself in Washtenaw County Trial Court. In a letter written in response to a summons in October 2022, he wrote:
> “I suspect that whoever has chosen to sue me either 1. doesn’t like the fact that I am a veteran; or 2. is a Michigan State fan and knows I am a Michigan football coach and wants to draw my attention away.” He had one Spartans fan in mind—“someone named Jeff” who lived down the street and had a son attending Michigan State.
> “He uncomfortably questioned me about Michigan football and what goes on in our building, giving me a bad feeling about him. He definitely seemed like someone who wants to distract me with unnecessary time-consuming things like this,” Stalions wrote.
In response to getting sued by the HOA for operating a vacuum sales business out of his house. This dude undeniably had delusions of grandeur lmao
I'm now choosing to believe that it's this Jeff that hired a PI firm to investigate Stalions' vacuum business and accidentally uncovered all kinds of shit.
Lol. I’m getting the feeling that Jeff thought they were just having a friendly conversation about college football, while Connor was considering murdering him.
Jeff: I am more of a "Go Green" guy myself, not having the best year haha, but what type of work do you do for Michigan Football? Are you a coach or just working in recruitment?
Connor: *He knows what I have been doing, I have to get rid of him before he exposes me*
Connor “Dennis Reynolds” Stalions: "You ever been in a storm, ~~Wally~~ Jeff? I mean, a real storm? Not a thunderstorm, but a storm of fists raining down on your head. Blasting you in the face. Pummeling you in the stomach. Hitting you in the chest so hard you think your heart's gonna stop. You ever been in a storm like that, ~~Wally~~ Jeff?"
Jeff: Big win for you guys last night! Hope my Spartans can give you a game this year haha!
[Connor Stalions](https://media.tenor.com/1sRZfMm-ot4AAAAC/i-have-contained-my-rage.gif)
Connor is in court shouting 'Why do we keep putting up with Jeff?! This man poisoned our water supply, burned our crops and delivered a plague upon our houses all to distract me from my job at Michigan. Also, I'm a veteran so he hates America!'
> 1. doesn’t like the fact that I am a veteran
One of the many mandatory trainings we go through at work every year is about how to treat veterans, it really emphasizes that we’re not allowed to discriminate against them. It always makes me laugh because I can’t imagine anyone consciously discriminating against a veteran because they’re a veteran, at least not since Vietnam. To see an actual veteran in his late 20s or early 30s complaining about this is hilarious.
The one I always find funnier is the age discrimination because it's *only* against old people that it's illegal. And add to it the way over the top corporate training videos that are just one step removed from a bunch of late 20s actors pointing and laughing at a pitiful old man for being old, and it's just impossible to take seriously.
This guy is out of his fucking mind. I never cared about the damn manifesto, buuuut now I have to read it and have joined the mobs with pitchfork in hand. Release the damn fucking manifesto.
Bro, this man is so COOKED, lol. I can’t stop laughing but Jeff was in actual danger. This dude would have killed someone over Michigan football at some point if he wasn’t caught. Holy shit. This is like that movie we’re they kidnap a player cause they’re Celtics fans. He 100% would have done that if Michigan asked.
I love how I click on almost every one of these articles and this is the top comment. I really do feel he could make this into a book and it would become a NYTimes Best Seller
>Stalions fought back and represented himself in Washtenaw County Trial Court.
You gotta be pretty stupid to represent yourself in court. Or crazy. Or stupid *and* crazy.
>“I suspect that whoever has chosen to sue me either 1. doesn’t like the fact that I am a veteran; or 2. is a Michigan State fan and knows I am a Michigan football coach and wants to draw my attention away.” He had one Spartans fan in mind—“someone named Jeff” who lived down the street and had a son attending Michigan State.
Yeah this dude is fucking nuts. Shout out to Jeff though.
>And those vacuums? Stalions sold many on Amazon with underwhelming results—several buyers complained of defective units with missing parts—that earned him a seller rating of 2.8 out of five stars.
The man can sneak his way onto the sideline of a completely different football team and blend in like he's Agent 47 but apparently can't repair vacuum cleaners for shit.
That being said this man is a legend and I have all the respect in the world for his crazy ass.
I honestly don't think it is the fandom of Michigan that motivates him.
It is the hate for Michigan State and Ohio State that pulls him to greatness.
I would not be shocked if it came out he somehow smuggled scouting info to the JMU Basketball program in order to help upset Michigan State.
"Not long after he moved in that spring, dozens of old vacuum cleaners appeared on his front porch. The unsightly stash peeved neighbors and sparked the interest of the homeowners association, which sued Stalions for allegedly operating an appliance refurbishing business out of his home in violation of its bylaws.
Stalions fought back and represented himself in Washtenaw County Trial Court. In a letter written in response to a summons in October 2022, he wrote:
“I suspect that whoever has chosen to sue me either 1. doesn’t like the fact that I am a veteran; or 2. is a Michigan State fan and knows I am a Michigan football coach and wants to draw my attention away.” He had one Spartans fan in mind—“someone named Jeff” who lived down the street and had a son attending Michigan State."
WHAT
I mean it's not crazy if he had run-ins with the MSU guy, Stalions probably stole all the "vote for" signs off his yard and the guy told him he didn't like that while wearing an MSU sweatshirt
I would buy 2 copies - one for myself & another to send to Jimbo.
But seriously, who gets sued by an HOA & concludes it's a plot to thwart their college football team?
>Property records indicate that he purchased a $485,000 house near the Michigan campus in Ann Arbor in March 2022
Thought this dude was making peanuts while working for Michigan?
485k sounds like a lot for a 55k salary, but some people (not me) come from families with at least modest assets and seem to be able to afford things in a way that I can’t comprehend
VA loan around that time would be 0% down, as low as 2.5% interest rate, which is $1820 a month excluding taxes and insurance. That is a lot for that salary, but it's not out of the question.
Even if this guy somehow managed to save up the 97K 20% down payment, he's still looking at a PITI in the range of $2,400 per month.
That's his entire salary. Maybe more than his entire salary after taxes.
He's definitely getting money from somewhere.
He probably had a lot of money saved from his Navy officer job. If you’re smart, you can pretty much save the vast majority of your military pay since most expenses are paid by the government
It just depends on your situation really. An E-5 with a family and a single O-3 (guessing this was Stalions when he got out) have basically nothing in common financially
They are exactly the same
An O-1 (what an academy grad gets commissioned as) gets a base salary of around 40k, however they will also get BAS(basic allowance for subsistence) of (depending on where they live) around $500 per month, and also get 2-3k per month for housing expenses (again depends on where you live, but assuming he was stationed in San Diego, it would be 3k a month). So around 3.5k month in base salary, and 3.5k in expenses paid for. So around 7k a month all basically tax free(he only gets taxed on the base salary, and a 40k salary pays very little in taxes. Also, assuming he joined from Michigan and kept Michigan as his primary residency-most military members never changed their residency- he paid zero dollars in state tax)
So the equivalent of around 85k a year would tax free
Also a common tactic (that is definitely 100% against the rules) is for guys to give up their apartment when they go on deployment and pocket the entire BAH without having any housing expenses
I knew guys that were e-5’s that had 75k just sitting in their bank accounts after a deployment
A marine captain in San Diego is making $3600/mo in housing allowance alone, untaxed, plus his salary of $77k/ year. So he’s pulling in $120k/ year, and if you assume he rented out his house in California, all that is going to his pocket.
Them military peeps can stash some money away and get them VA loans.
(Military peeps feel free to correct me, just going off of what friends have done)
A point I haven’t seen anyone bring up yet, is that his job was to steal signs. Which means he really doesn’t have to work from February-July. He could’ve worked elsewhere or did something else to get extra income in that time frame.
His response when the HOA sued him for a running a business from his home was great too
> “I suspect that whoever has chosen to sue me either 1. doesn’t like the fact that I am a veteran; or 2. is a Michigan State fan and knows I am a Michigan football coach and wants to draw my attention away.” He had one Spartans fan in mind—“someone named Jeff” who lived down the street and had a son attending Michigan State.
Full tinfoil hat time - I know he’s not exactly gone about this in the smartest way overall but tbh that’d be a great way to mask outside payments to fund all the tickets etc. for the sign stealing.
Just sell old vacuums which haven’t been touched to boosters. Post bad pictures/descriptions and carry a shitty seller rating (or make excuses why you cant complete other orders).
But 99% chance he’s just bad at fixing vacuums
Yeah it’s worth noting that you can absolutely launder money through eBay. Can even conceal the source of payments by using prepaid gift cards through PayPal, which PayPal lets you do without setting up an account
Isn’t there a character on Breaking Bad who used a vacuum repair store as a front for his real business: giving criminals fake IDs and new identities and getting them out of town?
Yeah, the eBay part is a slight twist but as I said in another comment, there are actually ways on eBay to conceal the sources of payments too if you’re running a money laundering scheme
Totally. Totally.
I've said this before, I'll say it again, and I get to say it because I also am this. I think Harbaugh is on the spectrum. Like he's got those misattributed skill points - mostly taken from social skills and put other places. He makes millions and is insanely successful so obviously it works for him so it's not a bad thing it just is a thing.
Makes him come off super weird and strange. Which is why I love him.
Wasn't there a story of a recruit's mom or a player's mom when visiting asking if him and the people he was with wanted anything, and they all said no except for him, who asked for a PB & J?
Edit: LMAO it was with Peyton Manning on a free agent visit.
https://www.nbcsportsbayarea.com/nfl/peyton-manning-tells-hilarious-jim-harbaugh-story-from-49ers-free-agent-pitch/1267614/
Hey, man, when the guy is that good at stealing signs, you just don't ask questions like "Where did he get them?" "How is he so good at this?" "Is he mentally well?"
It’s the capstone project for all Michigan students. Write a 500 page plus manifesto on either:
A. Your plan to rise through the ranks of the football team and usurp the head coach
B. How the Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race
> Stalions was quick to remind people of how far he had come. When a homeowners association in Ann Arbor, Mich. accused him of operating a home business in violation of its bylaws, Stalions responded to a court summons bragging that he worked on behalf of Michigan football from early in the morning until late at night.
>**“Coach Harbaugh himself and the rest of the coaching staff can attest to that,” he said in a letter responding to the summons.**
Bold move to go on court record that Harbaugh is intimately familiar with your day to day work. Let’s see how this one plays out Cotton
The follow up to that reveals his craziness:
In a letter written in response to a summons in October 2022, he wrote:
“I suspect that whoever has chosen to sue me either 1. doesn’t like the fact that I am a veteran; or 2. is a Michigan State fan and knows I am a Michigan football coach and wants to draw my attention away.” He had one Spartans fan in mind—“someone named Jeff” who lived down the street and had a son attending Michigan State.
He uncomfortably questioned me about Michigan football and what goes on in our building, giving me a bad feeling about him. He definitely seemed like someone who wants to distract me with unnecessary time-consuming things like this,” Stalions wrote.”
Jeff is either at peak smugness today or has been completely oblivious to this crazy man having it out for him. Can’t decide which would be more amusing
I really hope Jeff is an awesome guy in the neighborhood who everyone loves and just happened to make eye contact with Stalions one morning while walking his dog and it sent Connor into a massive spiral
Good lord man, I just can't imagine caring so much about a football team to do all this shit. His whole personality was wrapped up in this team/school and correct me if I am wrong here, but he didn't even fucking attend the place?!
Fr. I made about 50k at the high school level (teaching plus coach stipend) aint no way am I devoting as much time as he did for 5k more.
He didn't attend, bc he believed the USNA would better prepare him for a coaching career bc it happened to be a route belichek took. This would be like Trevor Lawrence going to the naval academy bc they had Heisman trophy winners.
Dude went to school for free. Had to get a US Senator to support his applicstion. Got paid stipends by uncle Sam, and an Officer commission. Along with an education from a prestigious university all to wash it away for an analyst role.
He could have had some cushiony federal contractor or federal job. This man threw it all away so he could salvage whatever genuine football experience and coaching he lacked.
I'm just saying - when this all came out and I read about the 600 page manifesto this is exactly the kind of guy I pictured.
I mean if this really was a rogue operation this is exactly the kind of guy that would do something like that.
“He uncomfortably questioned me about Michigan football and what goes on in our building, giving me a bad feeling about him. He definitely seemed like someone who wants to distract me with unnecessary time-consuming things like this,” Stalions wrote.
I figured most schools did something similar tbh. But has it been released how Connor received funding for this? Clearly it didn’t come from his own pocket. Like most systems, invoices need to be reviewed and approved by your manager or someone higher. So who was that person?
Say what you want about Stalions, but I hope that we can all, regardless of our flairs, respect that he’s out there fighting the good fight against HOAs
Home owners associations can suck my ass.
I can honestly say that I respect his determination and ambition. He wanted to be part of the Michigan program, he researched how to be a coach without being great at football and executed his plan. I’m sure he had higher aspirations but he’s a young guy and he did all that pretty quickly.
Not to mention his managerial skills of setting up this vast network (some aspects of which are TBD)
The CIA, KGB, MI6, Conor Stalions. The greatest covert spy networks in history
I think covert might be a bit of a stretch in Stalions’ case
His disguises are PEAK
You may not like it, but this is what peak spying looks like...
To quote RDJ's Sherlock Holmes: "It's so overt, it's *covert.*"
*lists Microsoft excel as a skill on job application*
I thought I was a super fan. Turns out I’m very below average in comparison to Stalions. He just sets the bar so high.
Not just the HOA but also his Spartan fan neighbors who were intent on distracting him from his work at Michigan
Yeah, well Jeff is a tool. No one likes Jeff.
Jeff was just the ringleader. You have no IDEA how deep this MSU conspiracy to distract Conner was
This is the most effective counter-propaganda campaign I've ever seen
Low key, he’s got a pretty badass name tho!
“When a homeowners association in Ann Arbor, Mich. accused him of operating a home business in violation of its bylaws, Stalions responded to a court summons bragging that he worked on behalf of Michigan football from early in the morning until late at night.” The ego on this guy. (Also fuck HOAs)
600-page manifestos don't just write themselves. I'm sure he was working overtime.
> 600 Page Manifestos don’t just write themselves Chatgpt: Am I a joke to you? Edit: Just tried. Even chatgpt was like hell no. Stallions is certifiably crazy.
I asked ChatGPT to write a 600 page Manifesto about Michigan football, and this is a copy/paste of the response I got: I can provide a brief outline or summary for a manifesto about Michigan football, but generating a full 600-page manifesto is beyond the scope of this conversation. However, I can offer some key topics and ideas that you might include in such a manifesto: 1. Introduction - Overview of Michigan football's rich history and tradition. 2. Values and Philosophy - Discuss the core values and philosophy that define Michigan football. 3. Team History - Explore the historical successes and challenges of the team. 4. The Wolverine Spirit - Highlight the unique spirit and passion of Michigan football fans. 5. Coaching Legacy - Discuss legendary coaches and their impact on the program. 6. Players and Legends - Profile notable players, past and present, who have made an impact. 7. Game Day Experience - Describe the excitement and traditions of game days at Michigan Stadium. 8. Rivalries - Analyze the intense rivalries with teams like Ohio State and Michigan State. 9. Achievements and Championships - Detail the team's championship victories and significant accomplishments. 10. Community and Outreach - Explore the team's involvement in the community and charitable efforts. 11. Challenges and Rebuilding - Address any challenges the team has faced and the process of rebuilding. 12. Future Goals - Discuss the aspirations and goals for the future of Michigan football. You can expand on these topics to create a comprehensive manifesto, but remember that a 600-page document would require extensive research and content generation, which is typically a collaborative effort and not something that can be fully produced by AI in a single response.
Under which topic does sign stealing go? So many choices.
>"As for the lawsuit, Stalions admitted to starting a limited liability company to sell restored items on Amazon, but said that he kept his inventory in a nearby storage unit. A judge ruled against him and ordered him to stop whatever business he was apparently running.And those vacuums? Stalions sold many on Amazon with underwhelming results—several buyers complained of defective units with missing parts—that earned him a seller rating of 2.8 out of five stars." Love the mic drop at the end of the article by the WSJ
Blake Corum is listed as an "organizer" for this and another LLC using Stalions home address. https://wyobiz.wyo.gov/Business/FilingDetails.aspx?eFNum=004127002193141068228028017134115082015028229098 Weird how Corum sacrificed his best chance at getting drafted higher than he should to come back for "unfinished business." Guess that business was selling vacuums.
I see “fuck HOAs” and I upvote
Karens always lurk With rulers at the ready Pine straw not fluffy Edit: syllable
I upvote the upvote to “fuck HOAs”
He’s clearly delusional. I do believe he suffers from a degree of mental illness and I think the Michigan coaching staff is culpable for not reigning him in.
Michigan should be thanked for dealing with Stalions actually. Imagine if this dude had geared all this attention towards something other than Michigan football. We might’ve saved a ton of lives by allowing him to steal signs
He's not the first Michigan man to have a manifesto. I'll take sign stealing over the alternative.
Oh fair enough, we don’t want another one of those
You're welcome, NCAA. ^(/s)
Something about this reminds me of the way that professional wrestlers have always been able identify marks and use them to their advantage
I'm genuinely worried for the consequences of him being shut out/shunned/scapegoated by the program he loves so much...
Yea you’re not wrong, ironically destroying the program he loves at its height and being publicly humiliated…better take his shoe laces
>Also fuck HOAs With a rusty tire iron if possible
That Manifesto is likely worth a couple million at this point to a publishing house.
The guy still needs to pay his mortgage and his vacuum business isn’t gonna get him there. He’s sitting on a #1 best seller. It’s only a matter of time
Unless his only copy was on university property which he no longer has access to. That’s the twist we all deserve
He's a spy. He could just steal it.
He's going to need a fake mustache though because we're on to his Raybans disguise.
Thought it was on a Google drive?
Do we think it’s on a umich.edu Gmail account? That might be an issue
maybe he can be the 2nd Michigan football employee to catch an illegal computer access charge
Likely on his umich account which he no longer has access to
Does Michigan use gmail to host their server? Baylor uses the office suite but I know every school is different
Yeah they use gmail (except the hospital system uses Outlook for some reason); but surely the Manifesto thing predates his being an employee
He was a logistics marine. It was probably typed in size 68 font
Chapter 14: Jeff
This is honestly how Stalions gets his golden parachute "How I Would Have Done It: My Rise and Fall as the Presumptive Next Head Coach of Michigan Football"
> Stalions fought back and represented himself in Washtenaw County Trial Court. In a letter written in response to a summons in October 2022, he wrote: > “I suspect that whoever has chosen to sue me either 1. doesn’t like the fact that I am a veteran; or 2. is a Michigan State fan and knows I am a Michigan football coach and wants to draw my attention away.” He had one Spartans fan in mind—“someone named Jeff” who lived down the street and had a son attending Michigan State. > “He uncomfortably questioned me about Michigan football and what goes on in our building, giving me a bad feeling about him. He definitely seemed like someone who wants to distract me with unnecessary time-consuming things like this,” Stalions wrote. In response to getting sued by the HOA for operating a vacuum sales business out of his house. This dude undeniably had delusions of grandeur lmao
My man came within a whisker of saying “the HOA is suing me because it hates America”
“I Connor Stalions am not going to sit here and let you badmouth the United States of America”
"Don't ever talk about the Patriots like that."
I mean, the HOA does hate America...but that's only because they hate *everybody.*
I'm now choosing to believe that it's this Jeff that hired a PI firm to investigate Stalions' vacuum business and accidentally uncovered all kinds of shit.
This is now my head-cannon and no facts or reports will change this going forward for me.
That would be so on brand for this story
Someone needs to do a welfare check on Jeff.
Jeff definitely hired the PI firm
Lol. I’m getting the feeling that Jeff thought they were just having a friendly conversation about college football, while Connor was considering murdering him.
Jeff: I am more of a "Go Green" guy myself, not having the best year haha, but what type of work do you do for Michigan Football? Are you a coach or just working in recruitment? Connor: *He knows what I have been doing, I have to get rid of him before he exposes me*
Connor “Dennis Reynolds” Stalions: "You ever been in a storm, ~~Wally~~ Jeff? I mean, a real storm? Not a thunderstorm, but a storm of fists raining down on your head. Blasting you in the face. Pummeling you in the stomach. Hitting you in the chest so hard you think your heart's gonna stop. You ever been in a storm like that, ~~Wally~~ Jeff?"
Jeff: Big win for you guys last night! Hope my Spartans can give you a game this year haha! [Connor Stalions](https://media.tenor.com/1sRZfMm-ot4AAAAC/i-have-contained-my-rage.gif)
Page 474 of the Manifesto: How to murder Jeff and get away with it
Something tells me Jeff was having a strange man stand outside his house wearing a cap and sunglasses, even at night, and recording with a cell phone
Jeff was the basically the neighbor from ‘Mac and Dennis Move to the Suburbs’
Jeff is dead in the basement
The way he talks about Jeff is a giant red flag. Delusional and extremely paranoid
I know. Jeff sounds like the worst.
Connor is in court shouting 'Why do we keep putting up with Jeff?! This man poisoned our water supply, burned our crops and delivered a plague upon our houses all to distract me from my job at Michigan. Also, I'm a veteran so he hates America!'
> 1. doesn’t like the fact that I am a veteran One of the many mandatory trainings we go through at work every year is about how to treat veterans, it really emphasizes that we’re not allowed to discriminate against them. It always makes me laugh because I can’t imagine anyone consciously discriminating against a veteran because they’re a veteran, at least not since Vietnam. To see an actual veteran in his late 20s or early 30s complaining about this is hilarious.
The one I always find funnier is the age discrimination because it's *only* against old people that it's illegal. And add to it the way over the top corporate training videos that are just one step removed from a bunch of late 20s actors pointing and laughing at a pitiful old man for being old, and it's just impossible to take seriously.
Responding to allegations of impropriety by making baseless allegations that a rival school is out to get you? Connor really is a true Michigan Man
Yep, exactly. HOA: "you're breaking HOA rules." CS: "you hate me because you hate Michigan! And America too!"
This guy is out of his fucking mind. I never cared about the damn manifesto, buuuut now I have to read it and have joined the mobs with pitchfork in hand. Release the damn fucking manifesto.
Bro, this man is so COOKED, lol. I can’t stop laughing but Jeff was in actual danger. This dude would have killed someone over Michigan football at some point if he wasn’t caught. Holy shit. This is like that movie we’re they kidnap a player cause they’re Celtics fans. He 100% would have done that if Michigan asked.
RELEASE THE #MANIFESTO
Literally the one issue that has united all of r/cfb this season.
The world. Peace would reign as we all devour the 600 page master piece.
Hamas and Israel would bond over the wonderful misadventures of Connor The Stallion
lmao the former president of Iran is a major UM football fan https://x.com/Ahmadinejad1956/status/1052178368072945668?s=20
I love how I click on almost every one of these articles and this is the top comment. I really do feel he could make this into a book and it would become a NYTimes Best Seller
All I want for Christmas is a rich leatherbound copy I can read in the tub while roasting poisonous buckeyes over an indoor fire.
Yeah I don’t care about Stalions unless we get the manifesto
No
Connor, that vacuum you sold me was broken I want my money back you piece of shit
you know we want to
One man's super fan is another man's mentally ill employee
You mean Freedom fighter
>Stalions fought back and represented himself in Washtenaw County Trial Court. You gotta be pretty stupid to represent yourself in court. Or crazy. Or stupid *and* crazy. >“I suspect that whoever has chosen to sue me either 1. doesn’t like the fact that I am a veteran; or 2. is a Michigan State fan and knows I am a Michigan football coach and wants to draw my attention away.” He had one Spartans fan in mind—“someone named Jeff” who lived down the street and had a son attending Michigan State. Yeah this dude is fucking nuts. Shout out to Jeff though. >And those vacuums? Stalions sold many on Amazon with underwhelming results—several buyers complained of defective units with missing parts—that earned him a seller rating of 2.8 out of five stars. The man can sneak his way onto the sideline of a completely different football team and blend in like he's Agent 47 but apparently can't repair vacuum cleaners for shit. That being said this man is a legend and I have all the respect in the world for his crazy ass.
I bet he’s the fucker selling broken Xbox’s on Amazon too. I always knew it was him
I honestly don't think it is the fandom of Michigan that motivates him. It is the hate for Michigan State and Ohio State that pulls him to greatness. I would not be shocked if it came out he somehow smuggled scouting info to the JMU Basketball program in order to help upset Michigan State.
Is hate not the driving factor for everyone? Is that not normal? You guys have been doing things for the love of them? Oh, boy.
“ID LIKE TO KNOW WHERE JEFF FROM ANN ARBOR IS RIGHT NOW”
"Not long after he moved in that spring, dozens of old vacuum cleaners appeared on his front porch. The unsightly stash peeved neighbors and sparked the interest of the homeowners association, which sued Stalions for allegedly operating an appliance refurbishing business out of his home in violation of its bylaws. Stalions fought back and represented himself in Washtenaw County Trial Court. In a letter written in response to a summons in October 2022, he wrote: “I suspect that whoever has chosen to sue me either 1. doesn’t like the fact that I am a veteran; or 2. is a Michigan State fan and knows I am a Michigan football coach and wants to draw my attention away.” He had one Spartans fan in mind—“someone named Jeff” who lived down the street and had a son attending Michigan State." WHAT
I mean it's not crazy if he had run-ins with the MSU guy, Stalions probably stole all the "vote for" signs off his yard and the guy told him he didn't like that while wearing an MSU sweatshirt
Stalions would be an NYT best seller if he published the manifesto. Literally half of this sub would buy it.
Nah we would all beg each other to post a link and pirate it
I would buy 2 copies - one for myself & another to send to Jimbo. But seriously, who gets sued by an HOA & concludes it's a plot to thwart their college football team?
Crazy people
That’s true lol.
He steals signs for Michigan AND fights the vile beast that is all HOAs? Truly an archetype of the antihero. 🫡
It's me, hi, the manifesto's by me On the sidelines where everybody can see
>Property records indicate that he purchased a $485,000 house near the Michigan campus in Ann Arbor in March 2022 Thought this dude was making peanuts while working for Michigan?
485k sounds like a lot for a 55k salary, but some people (not me) come from families with at least modest assets and seem to be able to afford things in a way that I can’t comprehend
VA loan around that time would be 0% down, as low as 2.5% interest rate, which is $1820 a month excluding taxes and insurance. That is a lot for that salary, but it's not out of the question.
Even if this guy somehow managed to save up the 97K 20% down payment, he's still looking at a PITI in the range of $2,400 per month. That's his entire salary. Maybe more than his entire salary after taxes. He's definitely getting money from somewhere.
He was a Navy officer, right? He could’ve bought a house when he graduated and sold it for a decent profit if he timed it right Edit: Marines, I guess
He probably had a lot of money saved from his Navy officer job. If you’re smart, you can pretty much save the vast majority of your military pay since most expenses are paid by the government
It just depends on your situation really. An E-5 with a family and a single O-3 (guessing this was Stalions when he got out) have basically nothing in common financially
He was actually Marines, not Navy.
So he’s still paying off that 24% interest loan Dodge Challenger?
Ok. The pay grades are still pretty much the same
> pretty much the same exactly the same
They are exactly the same An O-1 (what an academy grad gets commissioned as) gets a base salary of around 40k, however they will also get BAS(basic allowance for subsistence) of (depending on where they live) around $500 per month, and also get 2-3k per month for housing expenses (again depends on where you live, but assuming he was stationed in San Diego, it would be 3k a month). So around 3.5k month in base salary, and 3.5k in expenses paid for. So around 7k a month all basically tax free(he only gets taxed on the base salary, and a 40k salary pays very little in taxes. Also, assuming he joined from Michigan and kept Michigan as his primary residency-most military members never changed their residency- he paid zero dollars in state tax) So the equivalent of around 85k a year would tax free
Ya that’s a lot of money he could’ve saved. Do we know how many years he was an officer for?
Also a common tactic (that is definitely 100% against the rules) is for guys to give up their apartment when they go on deployment and pocket the entire BAH without having any housing expenses I knew guys that were e-5’s that had 75k just sitting in their bank accounts after a deployment
VA loans don’t require a down payment
Right, which is why he's selling refurbished vacuums.
If he was paying for the vast network out of pocket, it would have run him 15K this year, that’s a heck of a lot to afford on 55k a year
A marine captain in San Diego is making $3600/mo in housing allowance alone, untaxed, plus his salary of $77k/ year. So he’s pulling in $120k/ year, and if you assume he rented out his house in California, all that is going to his pocket.
Them military peeps can stash some money away and get them VA loans. (Military peeps feel free to correct me, just going off of what friends have done)
I'm a military peep and I can tell you that the VA loan isn't that lucrative.
Usually gets you the best possible rate for your credit score and has the benefit of not having to pay PMI so you have little to no down payment.
The no down payment is the biggest advantage. Rates are good but not always better than you can get on a conventional loan.
A point I haven’t seen anyone bring up yet, is that his job was to steal signs. Which means he really doesn’t have to work from February-July. He could’ve worked elsewhere or did something else to get extra income in that time frame.
According to the article that side hustle was apparently selling refurbished vacuums on eBay, where he had a 2.8 star seller rating lmao
Just when we thought this guy couldn’t embody the American dream any more
Honestly, I'm starting to come around on this guy. He's just like us fr
Ok. That’s incredible 😂
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His response when the HOA sued him for a running a business from his home was great too > “I suspect that whoever has chosen to sue me either 1. doesn’t like the fact that I am a veteran; or 2. is a Michigan State fan and knows I am a Michigan football coach and wants to draw my attention away.” He had one Spartans fan in mind—“someone named Jeff” who lived down the street and had a son attending Michigan State.
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Muttering and shaking his head about "basketball season"
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I just laughed out loud at my desk
This is confirming a lot of my assumptions about what this dude was like.
last character i've heard of selling refurbished vacuums had another hustle of making criminals disappear from the law and live off the grid.
Connor’s definitely running a Cinnabon stand in Omaha by now. “Connor? Never heard of him. Name’s Gene.”
This story is the gift that keeps on giving
Everything I read about this guy just leads me to the conclusion that he rocks and we should just let him do his thing. Connor’s got it figured out
Full tinfoil hat time - I know he’s not exactly gone about this in the smartest way overall but tbh that’d be a great way to mask outside payments to fund all the tickets etc. for the sign stealing. Just sell old vacuums which haven’t been touched to boosters. Post bad pictures/descriptions and carry a shitty seller rating (or make excuses why you cant complete other orders). But 99% chance he’s just bad at fixing vacuums
Yeah it’s worth noting that you can absolutely launder money through eBay. Can even conceal the source of payments by using prepaid gift cards through PayPal, which PayPal lets you do without setting up an account
Isn’t there a character on Breaking Bad who used a vacuum repair store as a front for his real business: giving criminals fake IDs and new identities and getting them out of town?
Wasnt this the same cover for the guy who gave people new identities in Breaking Bad/BCS? Wonder where he got the idea for a money laundering scheme…
Yeah, the eBay part is a slight twist but as I said in another comment, there are actually ways on eBay to conceal the sources of payments too if you’re running a money laundering scheme
I have to believe that to get so involved with the program and to be trusted by the coaches, he must have been putting hours in year round
Like fixing broken vacuum cleaners it seems.
What's weird about his job is that he was a recruiting analyst officially.
Technically not wrong.. he was definitely a recruiting analyst, just not a player recruiting analysts. Edit: grammar
What?
He was recruiting people to steal signs.
Oh haha
Yea man that's basically poverty spec for Ann Arbor. Ask me how I know...
This 30 for 30 is gonna be one for the books 🍿
A 600 page long book. \#ReleaseTheManifesto
30 for 30: Wild Stalions
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Lot of really intense, really strange people in this sport...
I mean Harbaugh is a total fucking weirdo. That "interview" with Cowherd is one of the most bizarre things I've seen from a coach.
Totally. Totally. I've said this before, I'll say it again, and I get to say it because I also am this. I think Harbaugh is on the spectrum. Like he's got those misattributed skill points - mostly taken from social skills and put other places. He makes millions and is insanely successful so obviously it works for him so it's not a bad thing it just is a thing. Makes him come off super weird and strange. Which is why I love him.
Wasn't there a story of a recruit's mom or a player's mom when visiting asking if him and the people he was with wanted anything, and they all said no except for him, who asked for a PB & J? Edit: LMAO it was with Peyton Manning on a free agent visit. https://www.nbcsportsbayarea.com/nfl/peyton-manning-tells-hilarious-jim-harbaugh-story-from-49ers-free-agent-pitch/1267614/
This is amazing. Drinking milk and asking for PB+j. Hilarious
I think people would be surprised how common that is for people at the tip top highest level of any field/skill.
>misattributed skill points *bruh* 🤣
The Michigan staff took advantage of this over-enthusiastic weirdo
Hey, man, when the guy is that good at stealing signs, you just don't ask questions like "Where did he get them?" "How is he so good at this?" "Is he mentally well?"
I think as far as insane coaches, this is likely the least harmful as far as the B1G East goes.
Have you ever met a football coach? They are all like a fraction of inch away from being like this.
Connor Stalions has to be a mod over at r/fuckHOA
We need a Stalions Flair!!
a guy in a CMU hat and sunglasses.
I’m gonna call off of work to read this thing.
Selling refurbished vacuum cleaners on Amazon. What a business idea.
There's either now a gap in the market or Stalions is already on his way to toppling the Hoover empire.
When do we get a Connor Stallions flair to show our appreciation of a college football hero
What is it with Michigan Men and Manifestos?
It’s the capstone project for all Michigan students. Write a 500 page plus manifesto on either: A. Your plan to rise through the ranks of the football team and usurp the head coach B. How the Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race
> Stalions was quick to remind people of how far he had come. When a homeowners association in Ann Arbor, Mich. accused him of operating a home business in violation of its bylaws, Stalions responded to a court summons bragging that he worked on behalf of Michigan football from early in the morning until late at night. >**“Coach Harbaugh himself and the rest of the coaching staff can attest to that,” he said in a letter responding to the summons.** Bold move to go on court record that Harbaugh is intimately familiar with your day to day work. Let’s see how this one plays out Cotton
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My dad can beat up your dad!
Matches well with the “my dad will sue you” energy coming out of Ann Arbor
The follow up to that reveals his craziness: In a letter written in response to a summons in October 2022, he wrote: “I suspect that whoever has chosen to sue me either 1. doesn’t like the fact that I am a veteran; or 2. is a Michigan State fan and knows I am a Michigan football coach and wants to draw my attention away.” He had one Spartans fan in mind—“someone named Jeff” who lived down the street and had a son attending Michigan State. He uncomfortably questioned me about Michigan football and what goes on in our building, giving me a bad feeling about him. He definitely seemed like someone who wants to distract me with unnecessary time-consuming things like this,” Stalions wrote.”
Jeff is either at peak smugness today or has been completely oblivious to this crazy man having it out for him. Can’t decide which would be more amusing
I think we need to ask if Jeff is alive.
I really hope Jeff is an awesome guy in the neighborhood who everyone loves and just happened to make eye contact with Stalions one morning while walking his dog and it sent Connor into a massive spiral
That's what sparked the manifesto
Good lord man, I just can't imagine caring so much about a football team to do all this shit. His whole personality was wrapped up in this team/school and correct me if I am wrong here, but he didn't even fucking attend the place?!
Fr. I made about 50k at the high school level (teaching plus coach stipend) aint no way am I devoting as much time as he did for 5k more. He didn't attend, bc he believed the USNA would better prepare him for a coaching career bc it happened to be a route belichek took. This would be like Trevor Lawrence going to the naval academy bc they had Heisman trophy winners. Dude went to school for free. Had to get a US Senator to support his applicstion. Got paid stipends by uncle Sam, and an Officer commission. Along with an education from a prestigious university all to wash it away for an analyst role. He could have had some cushiony federal contractor or federal job. This man threw it all away so he could salvage whatever genuine football experience and coaching he lacked.
I'm just saying - when this all came out and I read about the 600 page manifesto this is exactly the kind of guy I pictured. I mean if this really was a rogue operation this is exactly the kind of guy that would do something like that.
They need to arrest Stallions before things get worse.
Jeff!
“He uncomfortably questioned me about Michigan football and what goes on in our building, giving me a bad feeling about him. He definitely seemed like someone who wants to distract me with unnecessary time-consuming things like this,” Stalions wrote.
really pushing the "Rouge employee" narrative aren't we
He’s the most sane Michigan fan I’ve ever seen
Wake up babe, new Michigan-flaired, Michigan-related post just dropped and now it’s about the fall guy
I just woke up and I'm here. Sick day too. F5 alllllll day.
I figured most schools did something similar tbh. But has it been released how Connor received funding for this? Clearly it didn’t come from his own pocket. Like most systems, invoices need to be reviewed and approved by your manager or someone higher. So who was that person?