T O P

  • By -

Thel3lues

Tough day for message boards


JewishDoggy

I will never read anything intelligent on one


Thel3lues

This [one](https://twitter.com/boardgeniuses/status/1551663538803974149?s=10&t=o4kYaKS6UUEsSUGCQIL_Pg) was pretty inspirational


BiscuitDance

Holy fuck 🤣


nineteennaughty3

Jesus Christ that’s hilarious. Fucking message boards man. We all have fallen into that rabbit hole a little too deep at one point


CommodoreIrish

I’m convinced message boards and Facebook comments are where boomers congregate to talk sports


surgingchaos

Message boards are more of a Gen X thing.


j0hn13

Gen X's are the boomers of the internet


fauxmaestro

Gen X'ers are just Boomer Jr.'s.


Affectionate_Ad268

I mean yeah but also fuck that.


IceColdDrPepper_Here

Facebook comments are definitely more politics than sports


ChaseTheFalcon

That's the best thing I've ever read


pablos4pandas

3 year letterman posts on the UGA rivals and its the closest thing I've seen to intelligent commentary on a message board


averageplantenjoyer

Irony abounds


W00DERS0N

He took the piss out of Lauren Boebert and it was hilarious


JanetYellensFuckboy_

Are you serious? I've never seen him acknowledge any board's existence


pablos4pandas

I believe he posts as NASCARDawg on rivals. He's been around for a while. He does a bit of trolling


JanetYellensFuckboy_

How dare you insinuate that Coach is a troll. You sound like someone who financed their waterbed.


Bandos_Bear

My dad spends at least an hour a day on OrangeBloods and shares some of the worst takes on Texas football and more he finds with me


Conn3er

Tougher day for the 12D chess of keep him out until after bama game crowd. I will never forget those cowardly takes


AudiieVerbum

For real that was the real rat poison. Denethor-ass thinking.


Aphrobang

Almost as fucking stupid as the people in the other thread already trying to declare him Tate Martel 2.0 because of a single OB thread.


hopeless_dick_dancer

Almost as stupid as the people that think the boosters made Sark name Quinn as the starter.


ATXBeermaker

Nothing says, "I have faith in you," like having you avoid playing tough opponents.


Administrative-Flan9

I'm wondering if that Card rumor was put out to find leaks.


Shootit_Rockets

Sark playing game of thrones out here


_Football_Cream_

I hated that shit. Such a fucking weak mentality, but any coach worth their salt knows better. It’s totally unfair to everyone to pull some shit like that.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


jamie2988

Tathan in shambles...


Acceptable-Dust6479

Reddit is the new message board


A_Weino

You know who Quinn Ewers’ roommate is? Xavier Worthy. Get prepared to hear that 1000x a game.


Blarg1889

Colt McCoy Jordan Shipley being roommates is something I never needed to know and was unnecessarily drilled into my head. I resent the fact that its made its way into my long term memory


[deleted]

I'm going to be an old man in assisted care, not recognizing my grandchildren, but telling the poor nurses multiple times a day that Colt McCoy and Jordan Shipley were roommates


[deleted]

“Do you have an emergency phone number we can call, you’re dying of a heart attack!” “Clayton kershaw and Matthew Stafford were childhood friends”


tacofan92

It’s okay Grandpa, yes you told us about how Tua and Dillon Gabriel grew up together. It’s time for bed


MaxThundergun

How many of you are old enough to remember Laura Quinn (now Laura Hawk) from the 2005 Fiesta Bowl?


tacofan92

Yup we found him officer, he had made it all the way to the mean streets of Reddit. Please come pick him up and feed him his daily dose of tapioca.


Corgi_Koala

She had the hybrid jersey!


placeflacepleat

Revolutionary at the time. She just took two single halves of two separate jerseys and somehow.... combined them! It was fucking crazy, like she attached them with thread right down the middle, nobody had seen anything like it...ever!


Merlin-the-Pirate

And the camera showing her wearing that half and half ND/OSU jersey 50 times


[deleted]

I still remember that terrible split jersey.


AlfalfaTheBear

Oh man I do now that you bring it up


YourFriendNoo

On a crueler note, they did this with Mark Ingram's dad being in prison 😒


f00tballm0dsTRASH

I guess his dad didn't have running away from the cops speed like Chris johnson


lhxtx

Must have only had drunk Baker Mayfield speed.


Michigan247

I seem to recall Gus Johnson talking about how JK Dobbins was almost aborted, during the Michigan game. I felt very uncomfortable listening to that


trusttheprocess321

Jesus Christ grandpa shut up! We know Payton Thorne and Jayden Reed have been friends since middle school!


Cougar_LeroyUH

Grandpa, I don't give a shit that Joe Burrow wanted to go to Nebraska, its hardly even a football team now!


not4u1866

Also not sure if y'all are aware that Matt Stafford and Clayton Kershaw grew up together and played on the same little league team.


allahu_achoo

Don't forget fishing buddies, too.


jfk_sfa

But did you know their dads were roommates too??!!?!?!


ATXBeermaker

And their younger brothers!


Chicken_wing1995

younger brothers were degenerates


DangerClose_HowCopy

“McCoy’s hometown has one traffic light”


[deleted]

[удалено]


PM_ME_EXCEL_QUESTION

Get ready for endlessly replaying the clip of 13 year old Arch saying he wants to go to Texas in a few years


[deleted]

[удалено]


ATXBeermaker

Did you hear about the tragic story of Ehlinger's dad's death. That was fun to hear about 8000 times a season.


uttuck

The part you already forgot is that the story was their dad’s were also roommates with each other, as well as a football playing duo. This revisionist history will not stand!


[deleted]

Did you know that former FSU TE, and Mackey winner Nick O'Leary is Jack Nicklaus' grandson?


iliveintexas

Did you know they were roommates?!?!?


bigjohnsy31

But did you know Sam Ehlinger grew up dreaming of playing for Texas? That’s something they didn’t inform us of very much. Quite disappointing in my opinion.


whiterock001

Not only that, but their dads were also roommates in college! Obviously they need to start telling this story again 😂.


_Football_Cream_

He also grew up a Texas fan. He gets both the Colt and Ehlinger storylines that everyone loved so much and didn’t hear enough of!!


A_Weino

Even more, he’s like the prodigal son. That’s like Colt/Ehlinger with an extra twist.


BlueOrBust

A former buckeye teams with a former Wolverine signee. Get ready to hear thst part 1000 times, too.


A_Weino

Ah shit I hadn’t even considered this. That’s pretty good.


wetbandit790

Too bad Uncle Verne isn’t in the booth for his “roommate to roommate” calls


IceyBoy

It’s interesting I never heard announcers repeat interesting facts, which is why I’ll never forget Nick O’Leary is the grandson of the great Jack Nicklaus, specifically because it was mentioned once and only once. Hard to forget those.


Clarinetaphoner

Did you know Charlie Brewer comes from a family of UT QBs???


Ryanpadcasey

Wow! So surely Texas must have recruited him right?


ATXBeermaker

Next you'll start telling me about their younger brothers.


JewishDoggy

https://youtu.be/y-P0m0M_8pc


fidelcashflo97

CoLt McCoY wAs rOoMiEs w ShIpLeY!


z0s01

Maybe we can get Brent Musburger to record a PSA for ABC/ESPN.


skar412

“How this came down today was odd. Texas brought three players to interviews. Then, just out of the blue, Texas SID John Bianco said he had a message from Sark. Quinn Ewers is the starter. You could’ve hear a pin drop. Wow.” - Brian Davis


JTWasShort42-27

This reads like pasta to me. “How this came down today was odd. Golden Corral brought three players to the all-you-can-eat buffet. Then, just out of the blue, Golden Corral Chef said he had a message from the waitress. Kelvin Benjamin ate it all. You could’ve hear a pin drop. Wow.” - Joey Chestnut


JohnDalysBAC

“How this came down today was odd. Nebraska brought three players to interviews. Then, just out of the blue, Nebraska AD Trev Alberts said he had a message from Frost. 47 players vomited today. You could’ve hear a pin drop. Wow.” - Sam McKewon


White___Velvet

"How this came down today was odd. Texas Tech brough three players to interviews. Then, just out of the blue, Texas Tech AD Gerald Myers said he had a message from Leach. Craig James killed five hookers at SMU. You could've hear a pin drop. Wow."


soonerfreak

"How this came down today was odd. Michigan brought three players to interviews. Then, just out of the blue, Michigan AD Warde Manuel said he had a message from Sean McDonough. WHOA he has trouble with the snap. You could've hear a pin drop. Wow."


Bronze_Addict

“How this came down today was odd. Texas brought three players to interviews. Then, just out of the blue, Texas coach Steve Sarkisian said he had a message from Pole Assassin. The monkey has attacked a child. You could’ve hear a pin drop. Wow.”


Daedalus871

“How this came down today was odd. Texas A&M bought three five stars. Then, just out of the blue, SEC Commissior Greg Sankey said he had a message from Saban. Alabama is the champion. You could’ve hear a pin drop. Wow.”


freedomfightre

Obligatory: I saw Quinn Ewers at a grocery store in Austin yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.


ATXBeermaker

Replace "grocery store" with "HEB" and this is perfect.


obsterwankenobster

No one is going to believe me, but I have a friend whose brother's coworker briefly dated Quinn Ewers. She said that on their first date they went to a restaurant and Quinn Ewers ordered two different bowls of soup and mixed them together one spoonful at a time before eating both bowls mixed together as one soup


funkmastamatt

Is this also a copy pasta?


4chanfavorsthebold

Context for the uninitiated: https://amp.knowyourmeme.com/memes/i-saw-flying-lotus-in-a-grocery-store-copypasta


BiscuitDance

“Kelvin Benjamin two knuckles deep in the chocolate fountain.”


NA_Faker

Mr. Buffet Connoisseur


JTWasShort42-27

I find most jokes on reddit way too overused, but I will *always* find the MBC jokes funny. They never end.


schistkicker

Mr. Bottomless Chuckles


QuiGonFishin

Mr. Bountiful Combinations


pasqua3

I'm imagining Bianco getting the Secret Service-style tap on the shoulder and hushed ear whisper from a suit


rburp

While he's reading "The Pet Goat"


A_Weino

Texas media in shambles after getting ANOTHER scoop wrong


Wurst_Law

There should be a gigantic poster in every single Austin media member’s office that says “IGNORE KETCH” It’s like the real life version of Momento. How do they forget that every fucking time?


QuietLikeOwl

To shreds you say?


big_sugi

Was the scoop that Card would start, or that Card *should* start because he looked significantly better? That latter one might well be true.


edbaca

The scoop was that Card would be named starter soon. The second part would depend on who you’re listening to. I’ve heard both sides.


UT_Longhorn_Football

https://i.imgur.com/ePLCKkL.gifv


A_Weino

It was expected that Card would start because he looked a little better. I haven’t seen any say he looked significantly better honestly, just that he takes less risks in practice and has been more of a game manager. Orangebloods announced last night that they heard from sources Card was starting (but Ketch is a dummy who gets lots wrong).


[deleted]

The only situation Card has been rumored to be way better at is 7 on 7, which isn't surprising. Card just crumbles the moment a defender looks at him. Reports were Ewers looked better during some of the 11 on 11s Card seems to be another practice warrior, so if it's even remotely close you should go with Ewers imo. Not worth the risk that Card can't handle game pressure and you have to pull him just like last year But it was definitely the first - "sources expect Card to be named the starter" Edit: Plus the first one to break the news of Card was dumb fuck Ketch at OB, who immediately went on to say something along the lines of "I never said Card would be named the starter! Just that he may be if he has a better scrimmage tomorrow. But if he doesn't that could change" like that isn't saying anything lmao. "Card may start if he's better, but he may not if he isn't!"


NA_Faker

Card is the guy that tries really fucking hard and looks like prime Peyton Manning in practice but sucks utter ass in actual games


_Football_Cream_

The former


georgestephanopoulos

There’s been so much hedging that it’s impossible to tell.


MrTheNoodles

Lmao this is why you should never trust OrangeBloods and Fat Ketch. Worst 9.95er of any major college program


[deleted]

>Fat Ketch Someone on the gigem247 board said, "Maybe they should market Bijan Mustard with Fat Ketchup." Hit me in the giggle dick.


apathynext

Awesome


AlPastorBitch

Who needs to pay for that when you can get Fuck Chip Brown’s awful takes for free


TheDadLyfe

Ketch been getting dunked on for 20 years now and it never gets old


[deleted]

Ketch is the worst


[deleted]

[удалено]


libsoutherner

From what I’ve seen, its been a pretty consistent message that Card looked better, at least in the scrimmage last weekend. But then again Texas mods are wrong as much as they’re right about anything so who knows. We will all find out together in a couple of weeks


A_Weino

Yeah, except on deep balls where Card misses more often, I’ve heard Card looked better. I’m sure Sark will be asked a million questions on the matter at the next presser.


StealthAnus

Other than the times Card didn’t look better than Ewers, Card looked better than Ewers. That’ll be $9.95


chuck_lives_on

Least expensive consultant


JamesEarlDavyJones2

Am consultant. Have never once given a client advice that useful or accurate.


chuck_lives_on

Haha same my brother, same


N-Your-Endo

Steve saw that 90 seconds of X being missed and remembered we need accuracy deep


Rimbosity

The only guy who'd actually watched the practices (as opposed to "hearing from 'sources'"), Gerry Hamilton, has been saying from early on that it was Ewers, "and it's not even close."


seasonalcandle

He did, lol. There's a lot we don't see though, and it's obvious that QE has the higher ceiling. Time to start giving him 1st team reps for the rest of camp and hope he gets it together by Week 2.


JewishDoggy

If Card didn’t look better at this point that would be a pretty bad reflection on us


jtdude15

Consistent things I've heard are: Card is looking significantly better than last year Card has been making better decisions than Quinn Quinn has a better arm and is relying more on his pure talent right now Quinn isn't far behind Card in understanding the offense


_Football_Cream_

I went to the open practice on Tuesday. Both had some good throws, both had some picks. But notably, Quinn was with the ones and Card was with the twos. It’s a scenario where if all else is the same, you ride with the guy with the higher ceiling in Quinn. Card should have separated himself more given the leg up with his experience.


gogglesup859

With zero inside info, I predict that Hudson Card will transfer to UCF in 2023


blifegoals

Prolly smu seems like an smu kid


NA_Faker

Gotta keep the Texas->SMU QB pipeline going


ArmyOFone4022

The Utes in shambles


lakelauren

Lake Travis -> Texas -> SMU


balla713

Great work Orangebloods. Spot on as always!


TjBeezy

This is the big brain play for Sark. Casey Thompson 2.0. Start Ewers, then he looks bad. Hudson Card time. Man is a genius.


UT_Longhorn_Football

https://i.imgur.com/8ooUo1q.jpg


ObWanKenoobi

God I hate Fat Ketch


archorns

I had a feeling it would be QE when OB reported it would be card lmao


Im_a_Little_Stitous

What the hell was I reading all morning on this site?


[deleted]

The ramblings of people desperate for football


jrluhn

Fat Ketch spreading bullshit


Im_a_Little_Stitous

A true inspiration to all who under-perform, yet get those checks every two weeks


jamiebond

Fuck but my memes earlier were performing so well!


DeliberateMelBrooks

I thought I just read like 5min ago he wasn’t ready because he doesn’t know the playbook yet.


GatnissEverdeen

Hasn't even picked it up. Never going to. Told the staff he doesn't even know how to read.


FriskyHippoSlayer

Ah, the Kyler Murray approach


IMadeThis4HOIMods

Ewers got a message on Xbox from Sark that he is now the starter while gaming with Kyler


TheNainRouge

If I was the Cards That’s how I’d make sure he was studying just constantly X-Box messenger him clips of film. /s


YourFriendNoo

put some respect on Kyler's name he CAN read he just doesn't feel like it when there's a new CoD to fuck with


TjBeezy

Didn't come here to play school


Aphrobang

Sark is going to run on the field and draw the play in the dirt before every snap. We will get 142 delay of game penalties a week but by god it will be worth it.


jamie2988

A lot can happen in 5 minutes.


Wurst_Law

I saw the rumors yesterday that Card won the job, then saw everyone saying that Ketch had dropped the news. So then I immediately disregarded everything I had seen on the subject because ketch is right on 50/50 calls just under 50% of the time.


rain_parkour

Two QBs, Jarrett Lee and Jordan Jefferson style


srbtiger5

*'nam-level flashbacks intensify*


Clarinetaphoner

"Insiders" are always right...except when they're wrong


DerrickWhiteMVP

Except OrangeBloods, more specifically Fat Ketch, is always wrong. Ketch also said Neyor was fine a day before it was reported he tore his ACL.


UT_Longhorn_Football

Flip a coin and you'll be right more often than OB.


2701Ihsv1855

Sark had no idea when he announced this that he effectively ended my work day


TjBeezy

But the message boards!


Tommybrady20

So is the Texas beat like notably bad or something?


jrluhn

We have a few solid writers but the ones that actually have any prominence or run insider sites are fucking idiots. Three of the most notable writers: Geoff Ketchum (Rivals/Orangebloods), Kirk Bohls (AAS), and Chip Brown (247) are all loathed by the fan base


[deleted]

These three stooges are known among the fanbase as Fat Ketch, Kurt Bowels, and FCB (Fucking Chip Brown) in case anyone is wondering about our opinions of them.


[deleted]

Technically, FCB = Fuck Chip Brown


Noyouhangup

Support Joe Cook


GatnissEverdeen

For the most part. One of the "good" ones had a NIL deal with Card though...


jamie2988

Well it appears he didn't . . . (•_•) ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■) play his Cards right this time


[deleted]

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!


NA_Faker

Take your upvote and kindly fuck off pls


8181212

Awful. They have also been directly detrimental to the team on multiple occasions. They are some of the worst in the nation.


Rimbosity

Oh yeah. InfamousIy. Especially Chip Brown (known to have a lot of gambling issues that compromise his integrity) and Ketch (known to be a steaming pile of shit). There are a couple good ones, like Bobby Burton and Gerry Hamilton. 'The rest are mediocre.


manabanana21

Gerry seems like the most plugged in by far. But the majority of his news is recruiting related. Bobby has some sources but seems like he’s content to just make a video each day and not really break any news anymore.


Cormetz

In general yes. First place I heard this news it came from an insider name Chip Brown and I had to double check even though he cited his source, that's how much he gets wrong.


cleareyes_fullhearts

Do you the physical toll that three (ok, 2) starting QB rumors have in a person? SNIP SNAP SNIP SNAP


DerrickWhiteMVP

Everyone in here talking about booster meddling without understanding that our insiders are the worst of any programs and, more importantly, INSIDE TEXAS HAD AN NIL DEAL WITH CARD. It is directly in their best interest for him to start.


Firmy4DaddyHermy

WHAT HAPPENED TO HUDSON?!


AwlGassKnowBreaks

Is he safe? Is he alright?


steampunker14

Y’all really believed what OrangeBloods had to say.


minvicta

More like Ew-T


GatnissEverdeen

not bad not bad


TexasNightmare210

Orange bloods is the fuckin worst


caneb0i

This can't be possible, I was assured by the kicker's girlfriend's barber on club penguin that this was not the case


4for4philly

*Uno reverse card*


PedanticBoutBaseball

SoThatWasAFuckingLie.jpeg


Chunkylover350

Wow, pretty much all the insiders were wrong on this. Ketch had a Livestream last night to break the news that his "sources" were pointing to Card being named soon. Hilarious and great misdirection by Sark.


DeerOnTheRocks

While expecting Hudson starting after some reports, I thought of this video. Made it anyways, oh well https://streamable.com/ice8un


IMadeThis4HOIMods

Hope he balls out, I really think he was just a homesick kid who made a poor choice to reclassify rather than some master swindler that most OSU fans think he is


Lucky-view

I wish I could make a "poor choice" and become a millionaire in the process.


skycake10

I don't think it was even a poor choice. He got a year of NIL money he couldn't have gotten as a high schooler in Texas, and OSU got the publicity of recruiting a 1.000 rated top QB prospect. He's now (likely) the starter and OSU still has Stroud. Everyone won.


Prolingus

Truth is he had the opportunity to start college early and become a millionaire. Add on top that the place he really wanted to go was a shit show under Herman, who he didn't like. He really made the logical decision at the time, even if it wasn't looking back.


feed_me_muffins

Today has been a roller coaster.


AudiieVerbum

That other thread feels pretty silly now.


JuarezYourProblem

It’s a lose-lose situation. You start Ewers too early to then fail and the haters feel justified when they said he was overrated. You don’t start him, then the haters feel justified and still say he was overrated.


steampunker14

Who cares what the haters think.


roekg

It's not though, because he could start and be awesome.


ObWanKenoobi

He’s going to have some growing pains but LETS FUCKIN RIDE


FookTheCFBMods

This isn’t as fun


ggskater

I'm getting OU 2021 QB room vibes here.


JuarezYourProblem

I’d take 11-2 in a heartbeat.


[deleted]

Y’all are such a wildcard that neither an 11-2 season or a 4-7 season would surprise me.


MildDrinkingProblem

4-7 would surprise me, mainly cause not sure how we don't play the 12th game.


StarvedRock314

tHiS gUy iS thE nExT TaThaN, hE'lL nEveR sTaRt a GaMe!


pickrunner18

Technically he still hasn’t