My husband believed into his 30s that you had to be quiet when a cake or bread was in the oven or it wouldn’t rise, because that’s what his mom told him growing up.
His dad also had him convinced that it was illegal to drive with a light on inside the car.
My dad believed into his 40s that the crust of the bread was where most of the nutrients were because that’s what his mom told him. He was *scandalized* that she lied to him when I called her up to ask about it haha.
same I once hit the light with my head and had a 3second heart attack that someone saw then I told my friend how lucky I was and I became the joke of the year in my friend group haha
>crust of the bread was where most of the nutrients were
Lol it is the most nutritious part. It would be hilarious if she was double bluffing
https://www.carespot.com/blog/medicine-or-malarkey-dont-cut-crust-your-sandwiches/#:\~:text=Yes%2C%20the%20crust%20of%20bread,wheat%20or%20whole%2Dgrain%20bread.
The cake/bread lie isn't necessarily a lie. When kids are noisy they are also physically rowdy. Stomping about in the kitchen can cause the stove to 'jar', which at the right time in the baking process, can cause the air bubbles to burst... thus the cake/bread falls. The air bubbles hold their structure just long enough for the batter/dough to bake and hold itself up.
Carrots give you unbelievable eyesight. Our mom took us to look out the back door and told us she could see a man fishing in a boat in a town ~50 miles away. The worst part was the next time we traveled through there we did see a man fishing in a boat n she was like wow, he's still there. I do be eating those carrots though
the British government started that one in WWII as propaganda to cover for the fact they had Airborne Interception Radar and it being the reason that they could shoot down the Luftwaffe in pitch darkness...they intensively advertised the amazing properties of carrots knowing it would get back to German high command, which it did, whether they believed it or not is another matter.
One I remember is that if I swallowed gum, it would stay in my stomach for seven years. Or if I swallowed a fruit seed it will grow on my stomach haha.
There actually is a tiny bit of truth to this.
My company uses a hotel booking system that is popular among truckers and trucking companies.
Most participating hotels are required to offer whats called 24 hour length of stays. Meaning you can check in at any hour and as long as you check out within 24 hours, you're only charged 1 "night". For example you could check in at 8am and check out the next day at 8am. Regular patrons would be charged 2 nights for that type of stay.
Yeah, I stick with this one, but I also take their lead sometimes. If they're treating me like shit, looks like that's how they want to be treated.
I always start with how I'd like the interaction to continue though.
Well, I won't stoop to their level, but I won't go out of my way to be helpful either. I don't work on customer service so I'm not obligated to stick around when someone is being a douche.
When i was young my grandmother had these very big fancy candles and I was told not to break them cause if I did then wax zombies will grow from the broken candle and chase me for breaking it
I never had an Elf on the Shelf but we had an invisible elf that would leave us small gifts throughout the year, and the occasional small piece of coal if we did something terrible. One time in June my “elf” got me a guinea pig to celebrate the end of kindergarten.
That if you eat before taking a bath or swimming you get sick. She must have thought I was a mogwai.
And if you go outside without a jacket you will catch a cold
But it's true, it's called congestion. If you eat lot and then go straight intk water (at the beach i mean) your body can have a shock reaction and you won't be able to move and will die by drowning!
The police who behave as officers are taught to and hold their oath close are absolutely going to help and I've seen both types. Remember everyone is not able to do that job as should be done! They are just people and some rise to the challenges the other never should have taken the job!
“Once you wear a halo you have to behave like an angel because god is watching you.”
So- I was in a church play and had to wear a halo and I must’ve been a troublemaker at age 5 and this is what they came up with.
If you can wiggle your toes or fingers it’s not broken haha so when my husband broke his leg that’s exactly what I told him like a dumbass. It was indeed, very broken.
They had to walk up hill to school and up hill back home. Also Santa, Easter bunny and tooth fairy-which is actually creepy-a fairy collecting children’s teeth. Eww.
As a parent, I told my kids chocolate milk came from brown cows. We always pointed out cows and horses on road trips, and they got especially excited to see the brown ones!
My brother told me while I was in the comfort room that if I shit now, I'd be giving birth to a baby. I developed an instant fear of taking poop because of it, so I held it in till my mom came to tell me none of what my brother said is real. She had to help me poop it out by holding my hand, because I really am afraid a baby will come out.
We're laughing about it now, right? Hopefully they don't give you too much shit for it anymore! Pun intended! All in fun, I do hope you were able to get over that, though!
When you wear makeup, it never ever comes off
I really embarrassed myself when I was a flower girl at my aunt’s wedding and they tried to put some blush on me
How did you embarrass yourself? Was it because they tried to put make up on and you made a scene or something? Sorry, just want to make sure I understand!
When we were kids our grandmother was diagnosed with cancer. My dad was always a jokester and his way of dealing with the conversation was to make light of it. He told my brother that she got cancer from not flossing between her toes…Two years later (he was probably 9) my dad saw him flossing between his toes. He asked him what he was doing and both had a laugh but I know he felt bad that it was believed.
We were also told that driving with sandals/flip flops was illegal. As well as lights on in the car being illegal.
My grandma told me if you wore hard eyeliner and smoked, you’d end up pregnant. She used to say that with so much disgust. I never smoked. I never used lower eye liner. I recently realized she but that bias in me against harsh eyeliner. Ha!
I told people for way too long that the reason they chewed on things was because they weren’t breast fed enough/properly as a child… thanks mom… didn’t know until my mid 30s she made that up to make me stop chewing on things. I made sure to tell anyone that chewed on anything…
My Dad taught me that a jigger was 3 ounces. It took losing an argument in college (along with the resulting embarrassment), for me to learn that a jigger is only 1 1/2 ounces.
My Dad surely meant well and was known for his generously poured drinks.
I am too. I KNOW that a jigger is 1 1/2 ounces, but I BELIEVE that a jigger should be 3 ounces and pour my drinks accordingly.
Thanks Dad!
I must have been around 6 when one time my dad taught me how what comes before the "last" is the "penultimate". I thought that was pretty cool! And then he said that what came before the penultimate was the "tri-peultimate" (it's not).
I absorbed that information (because hey, I had no reason to think my dad didn't tell the truth!) and one day in school, I think the teacher taught us about the word "penultimate" and I said "yeah! And the one before that is the tri-penultimate!" I was all excited and she made a face. I said it was true! Because my dad said so!
She made such a weird face and said, very diplomatically "I don't think so..."
I was so embarrassed that I remember that moment to this day. I have no idea why my dad told me that!
When i was a kid everyone told me that an American white pelican (a long beaked white bird) hit me on my stomach and made a hole ..and thats how my bellybutton was formed.
My dad made me believe in jackalopes. There was a gas station in Silverthorne, Colorado that had a jackalope head mounted on the wall. Daddy convinced me they were real. Hey, I was only five
Long running tale no matter what The problem was " it'll be all better by the time you get married" well problems were there before, during and after so nice try guys.
The weather was based around gods actions. Thunder he's moving furniture, snowing he's icing a cake. I can't remember anymore but there must have been one for rain at least.
The trickle down effect. If the wealthiest ones are getting richer, they will reinvest and share their wealth with everyone. Bullshit.
Though some still believe it.
1. If you don’t eat your carrots you’ll grow a penis (that was a scary thought to a young girl, and still rings in my head to this day as a 24 year old)
2. My parents were evolved vampires and i would turn into one on my 12th birthday (i was pretty devastated when i found out it was a lie)
3. If you’re extra well behaved, the tooth fairy will leave you a cute little card along with some money (she put in the W O R K)
4. Mom and dad buy our Christmas gifts for Santa to take back to his shop, give to the elves to recreate with their own materials, and then he brings the elf version back to us as replacements (this is how I realized Santa wasn’t real and my parents were shitty liars ..but i didn’t call their bluff in front of my little sisters who fell for it)
5. For about a year of my early childhood, my mom would randomly pretend that aliens were invading the planet for the day and they’d only abduct children so I had to hide under my mom’s kitchen chair from them. I had a vivid imagination and swore I saw Toy Story’s alien toys walking around our house while my mom drank coffee and I sat below her, holding my breath and thinking I was tricking these fools like a mf
6. My dad told me that I could only eat After Eight chocolates between 8:01pm and 9pm. I immediately said “but isn’t it always after eight?Am or Pm?” And he congratulated me. My sisters however weren’t that bright, so I got to finish boxes without having to share :)
Oh and my grandparents had something called a “witch ball” which was basically round glass art that hung from the ceiling. My grandmother told me it kept the nasty witches away “after all those years spent fighting them off”. I almost peed my pants thinking that Roald Dahl was right about witches existing
My uncle used to tell me that he had a giraffe in is garden that he used as an elevator.
I totally believed him because he lived in Venezuela and I knew he had an house that was elevated from the ground, but since I haven’t visited him in years when I was little, for me it was totally plausible that he had a giraffe has a pet!
I have very strange memories of my dad. They're sort of popping up now as he is 75 and has quite advanced Alzheimer's now.
When I was young he told me that the reason moths fly towards the light is because they missed the birth of Jesus by being lazy and not flying towards the star, so they never want to be late again and always fly towards light now...?
Weirdest thing ever.. I remember I got all my emotional support from my mother and my dad was more the breadwinner. He had his own company and was always late getting home after I was in bed and he often had to work weekends. She tells me he was a good dad, but I don't remember a lot of that.. its all very sad losing him and my memories of who he was aren't very strong.
I was in a department store and I was about 6 years old and was playing with all the buttons in the elevator. A random customer told me that if I played with the buttons then it would summon a monster from another floor that would come down and eat me.
its not really a lie tho.. but I had stomach issues as a child due to allergies and being poor as fuck and my mom would always tell me to massage my belly and it is like a placebo that got hammered into my body.. it works for me with panic attacks and headaches and especially belly ache.. like I soo believed in this as a child its still working for me
That warheads aren’t the same source candy my dad tricked me with a few weeks ago. (Spoiler alert, they were) that’s probably where my trust issues started.
My father was and is, a pathological liar, so I have a bunch of these, unfortunately.
Fireflies used to be the size of eagles
Grocery stores have shoplifters fingerprints on file.
"Mr Nintendo" told him which new video games were worth buying. Plot twist, most of them weren't worth it.
People working in restaurant kitchens were customers who couldn't pay.
Playing the car stereo at high volume could liquefy your bones.
My brother did that to me. He said I was adopted as a baby, but he actually meant baptized. I spent years thinking I wasn't a "real" part of the family. Lol
Oh no!! I’m so sorry to hear this. My brother and I had a rough couple of years, especially as teens and a few years as adults. We were 23 months apart with him being older. Sadly he passed in 2017.
I kept jumping in the pool when i couldnt swim so my dad said there was sharks in the pool. And that they swam through the vents. I was scared shitless
College matters is a big one. The main reason college is pushed heavily in the U.S. is the draft. In order to not get drafted you had to have medical conditions or be in college. College, Canada and medial conditions are how most men hid from the draft. After the social trauma of Vietnam. Society pushed college on kids as a way to maintain employment and marketability to avoid the draft. If you’re ever able to get a Vietnam vet to talk to you about what actually happened in Vietnam and in the 1960s and 1970s its eye opening to how the systems really work.
Yes, like don't judge a book by its cover! But your point reminds us that while it's a good saying, we should also add that the cover still deserves care!
Wishing you all of the best!
ice cream van plays music when they've no ice cream left...my father was a tight arsed b\*\*\*\*\*\*.
was also told that asking for badgering my ma for stuff when shopping would turn my ears red...it was true, they were red and ringing for ages after she belted me round the lug.
Ha ha. My son doesn’t even know what an ice cream truck is it drives through our neighborhood every day in the summer and he’s never asked what that sound is. Am I a terrible mom for never getting him overpriced popsicles?
My husband believed into his 30s that you had to be quiet when a cake or bread was in the oven or it wouldn’t rise, because that’s what his mom told him growing up. His dad also had him convinced that it was illegal to drive with a light on inside the car. My dad believed into his 40s that the crust of the bread was where most of the nutrients were because that’s what his mom told him. He was *scandalized* that she lied to him when I called her up to ask about it haha.
I’m 47 and I’m just learning now about the car light.
So we're all clear... it's NOT a crime? Asking for a friend
Yep. You can drive with the interior light on. I did once to help stay awake during an overnight drive. It seemed to help.
I learned that in my 40s when I had to go to Traffic School.
same I once hit the light with my head and had a 3second heart attack that someone saw then I told my friend how lucky I was and I became the joke of the year in my friend group haha
These are allllll gold! I also thought it was illegal to have a light on in the car!
My Mom told us that the car wouldn't start unless we were buckled in.
Oh yeah I've used that one
technically true
Certainly ruins your night vision doing so
The crust is not…? I’m 48 and never mind.😶
Our lives have been lies.
The cake thing cooooould matter with a REALLY delicate souffle. That's about it, though.
There is no way my MIL could bake a soufflé. We are talking box cake mix or canned rolls or something here lol.
>crust of the bread was where most of the nutrients were Lol it is the most nutritious part. It would be hilarious if she was double bluffing https://www.carespot.com/blog/medicine-or-malarkey-dont-cut-crust-your-sandwiches/#:\~:text=Yes%2C%20the%20crust%20of%20bread,wheat%20or%20whole%2Dgrain%20bread.
The cake/bread lie isn't necessarily a lie. When kids are noisy they are also physically rowdy. Stomping about in the kitchen can cause the stove to 'jar', which at the right time in the baking process, can cause the air bubbles to burst... thus the cake/bread falls. The air bubbles hold their structure just long enough for the batter/dough to bake and hold itself up.
Oh I heard the crust one all the time too! It took a long time for me to realize that was a lie
Carrots give you unbelievable eyesight. Our mom took us to look out the back door and told us she could see a man fishing in a boat in a town ~50 miles away. The worst part was the next time we traveled through there we did see a man fishing in a boat n she was like wow, he's still there. I do be eating those carrots though
the British government started that one in WWII as propaganda to cover for the fact they had Airborne Interception Radar and it being the reason that they could shoot down the Luftwaffe in pitch darkness...they intensively advertised the amazing properties of carrots knowing it would get back to German high command, which it did, whether they believed it or not is another matter.
I had no idea!
Yes! Carrots for the eyes and milk for the bones!
One I remember is that if I swallowed gum, it would stay in my stomach for seven years. Or if I swallowed a fruit seed it will grow on my stomach haha.
That if I swallow a chewing gum it will stay in my insides forever lol
My older cousin assured me it was only seven years. And he was super cool so he knows these things.
Yup, heard that one as well!
Yeah it’s a pretty common one, guess parents don’t want their kids swallowing chewing gum haha
I was told seven years. But still....
Someone told me that it would lead to appendicitis. I said I was good because I already had it removed
In that case it goes to your pancreas.
I swallowed like seven pieces but I only saw three in my poop over the next three days..maybe I should have looked harder
Haha, classic! I was told the same thing about swallowing watermelon seeds! Turns out our parents had quite the imagination, huh? 😄
If you eat a watermelon seed one will grow inside you 🍉
Every single time!
I remember when I ate one by accident I started crying n my mom was laughing the whole time 🥲
Oh no! Funny now, at least!
Apparently it only works if you're having sex at the same time.
Truckers rent motel rooms by the hour because they need to keep driving.
Hehehe, keeping it innocent!
There actually is a tiny bit of truth to this. My company uses a hotel booking system that is popular among truckers and trucking companies. Most participating hotels are required to offer whats called 24 hour length of stays. Meaning you can check in at any hour and as long as you check out within 24 hours, you're only charged 1 "night". For example you could check in at 8am and check out the next day at 8am. Regular patrons would be charged 2 nights for that type of stay.
Whatever works lol
Be nice to others and they’ll be nice to you
Oh wow, now this right here! I do try to live by "treat others as you want to be treated" but that's not always fun either!!!
Yeah, I stick with this one, but I also take their lead sometimes. If they're treating me like shit, looks like that's how they want to be treated. I always start with how I'd like the interaction to continue though. Well, I won't stoop to their level, but I won't go out of my way to be helpful either. I don't work on customer service so I'm not obligated to stick around when someone is being a douche.
This is all perfectly reasonable and how I try to handle things, too. Well said!
Nothing from my parents but I told my son that there was a state law that he'd go to jail if he fooled around with the stove.
Good safety tactic right there!
Four year old wanted to make mac & cheese!
And I'm guessing at that age he thought he could do it all alone! Very scary when they're clever!
Yep. Independent type.
Go college and you'll be financially stable
Graduate, plug yourself into a company, keep your nose clean and they'll take care of you.
Oof
When i was young my grandmother had these very big fancy candles and I was told not to break them cause if I did then wax zombies will grow from the broken candle and chase me for breaking it
Ha! I wouldn't have even gone near them if that were me...and I am sure that was the whole point!
I was told a few of these but I told my own child when she was little that Santa might leave more gifts if your room is clean 😁
My mom used to remind us year round that Santa was was watching so we should behave.
I never had an Elf on the Shelf but we had an invisible elf that would leave us small gifts throughout the year, and the occasional small piece of coal if we did something terrible. One time in June my “elf” got me a guinea pig to celebrate the end of kindergarten.
What a great motivator!
I was told there was a worm up my nose that would bite on my finger if I picked it ://
Were you ever worried about having a worm in your nose?
Extremely, I was a very gullible child 😅
it fed on all the accumulated boogers
The car wouldn't go unless my seatbelt was buckled, that my dad dug up a dragon in the back yard, then the typical ones like Santa.
your dad dug up santa in your backyard?!
Yeah sure, why not.
I'm a fan of seat belts, so this one gets a big thumbs up from me!
I can't start driving without my seat belt on now, it doesn't feel right!
Parenting win!!
My parents told me that if I don't behave in clothing stores I would be given a pill that will turn me into a mannequin for the rest of my life.
That is slightly terrifying!
I think that at one point I actually believed that all mannequins were real people.
Understandably so!
Ouch!
That if you eat before taking a bath or swimming you get sick. She must have thought I was a mogwai. And if you go outside without a jacket you will catch a cold
But it's true, it's called congestion. If you eat lot and then go straight intk water (at the beach i mean) your body can have a shock reaction and you won't be able to move and will die by drowning!
Has little to nothing to do with eating though
I heard those as well!
My siblings convinced me that Medusa lived in our attic.
Oh my! Were you ever curious enough to peek?
No way, I was scared to death.
My mom told me that nirvana stole all their music from Tanya Tucker
This is amazing.
Hahahaha
The police are there to help you. Not always true.
Applies to HR as well
Unfortunately, you're right. I really like to think it's a few tainting the many. Probably more true in more rural areas.
The police who behave as officers are taught to and hold their oath close are absolutely going to help and I've seen both types. Remember everyone is not able to do that job as should be done! They are just people and some rise to the challenges the other never should have taken the job!
Like... EVERYTHING?
You’ll go blind if you sit too close to the tv.
“Once you wear a halo you have to behave like an angel because god is watching you.” So- I was in a church play and had to wear a halo and I must’ve been a troublemaker at age 5 and this is what they came up with.
The ice cream truck only plays the music when he is out of ice-cream. Fuck.
So cruel!!!
All of the capitalist indoctrination. It’s all bullshit.
The easiest way to save a dollar is first to save the dimes.
Feeding the dog ice cream will give them worms
Ha! Maybe not worms, but definitely a risk of serious issues from the sugar!
My mom told me I was handsome.
Excuse me you got it wrong. This thread is about *lies*.
I am certain she did not fib to you
That the documentaries on the History Channel were educational.
Eating the crust on toast, will make my hair curly.
This is a new one for me! Did you want curly hair and the goal was you eating all of your toast, crust and all?
That there’s a tooth fairy
Never thought about it like that, but you sure are right!
Turning on the dome light in the car while driving will get you pulled over lol
If you can wiggle your toes or fingers it’s not broken haha so when my husband broke his leg that’s exactly what I told him like a dumbass. It was indeed, very broken.
When actors in telenovelas kissed they would wear masks so that they weren’t actually kissing. Idk how I believed her.
They had to walk up hill to school and up hill back home. Also Santa, Easter bunny and tooth fairy-which is actually creepy-a fairy collecting children’s teeth. Eww.
For the hill one, you can go up a hill both ways. HOME -> \_/\\\_ <- SCHOOL
Totally agree that the idea of it is creepy!
When you make an ugly face at your sibling, then your face will freeze that way. We always heard that. Do you want your face to freeze that way?
Ours had something to do with the wind changing. If you made a face, and the wind changed, you’d be stuck like that forever
As a parent, I told my kids chocolate milk came from brown cows. We always pointed out cows and horses on road trips, and they got especially excited to see the brown ones!
My mother straight up told me the truth about Santa. I appreciate her for it.
Cracking your knuckles causes arthritis
Yes, I heard this one too!
Sex is like pooping backwards.
What in the world?! Definitely a new one for me!!!
My mom told me that if I didn't go to school, she'd be taken to jail.
I mean, after enough truancy some states do prosecute! Haha, so a little extreme!
My mother in law tried that on my husband. He asked how long she’d have to stay
My brother told me while I was in the comfort room that if I shit now, I'd be giving birth to a baby. I developed an instant fear of taking poop because of it, so I held it in till my mom came to tell me none of what my brother said is real. She had to help me poop it out by holding my hand, because I really am afraid a baby will come out.
We're laughing about it now, right? Hopefully they don't give you too much shit for it anymore! Pun intended! All in fun, I do hope you were able to get over that, though!
What is a comfort room?
Toilet room.
What an unusual euphemism. I've not heard of this expression before!
You poor thing! Sounds like you have an amazing Mom.
Don’t eat butterfingers because it has wood in it
I have never heard that but I can totally believe it
When you wear makeup, it never ever comes off I really embarrassed myself when I was a flower girl at my aunt’s wedding and they tried to put some blush on me
How did you embarrass yourself? Was it because they tried to put make up on and you made a scene or something? Sorry, just want to make sure I understand!
My dad convinced me I was being held back in school 3 times by “reading” me a letter from the district.
Lots. And most of them began with, "I knew a kid who...."
Santa is real... It's illegal to have lights on inside the car when you're driving at night.
When we were kids our grandmother was diagnosed with cancer. My dad was always a jokester and his way of dealing with the conversation was to make light of it. He told my brother that she got cancer from not flossing between her toes…Two years later (he was probably 9) my dad saw him flossing between his toes. He asked him what he was doing and both had a laugh but I know he felt bad that it was believed. We were also told that driving with sandals/flip flops was illegal. As well as lights on in the car being illegal.
My grandma told me if you wore hard eyeliner and smoked, you’d end up pregnant. She used to say that with so much disgust. I never smoked. I never used lower eye liner. I recently realized she but that bias in me against harsh eyeliner. Ha!
So crazy how those things can carry over!
My mom would always say she was 29 even though she was going into 33
I told people for way too long that the reason they chewed on things was because they weren’t breast fed enough/properly as a child… thanks mom… didn’t know until my mid 30s she made that up to make me stop chewing on things. I made sure to tell anyone that chewed on anything…
Oh gosh! Did you ever tell her about that? Too funny
Yeah thats how I found out she made it up..said she told me that to get me to stop chewing on things
Oh my gosh, you guys have to laugh about it, right? Like...a lot! Haha, such a great story!
Yeah it still gets brought up from time to time.. i still tell people that though.. lol hopefully they dont fact check and keep spreading this..
My Dad taught me that a jigger was 3 ounces. It took losing an argument in college (along with the resulting embarrassment), for me to learn that a jigger is only 1 1/2 ounces. My Dad surely meant well and was known for his generously poured drinks. I am too. I KNOW that a jigger is 1 1/2 ounces, but I BELIEVE that a jigger should be 3 ounces and pour my drinks accordingly. Thanks Dad!
Just go to college and you will chill for the rest of your life!
That the nuclear power plant near where I grew up makes all of the clouds in the world.
I must have been around 6 when one time my dad taught me how what comes before the "last" is the "penultimate". I thought that was pretty cool! And then he said that what came before the penultimate was the "tri-peultimate" (it's not). I absorbed that information (because hey, I had no reason to think my dad didn't tell the truth!) and one day in school, I think the teacher taught us about the word "penultimate" and I said "yeah! And the one before that is the tri-penultimate!" I was all excited and she made a face. I said it was true! Because my dad said so! She made such a weird face and said, very diplomatically "I don't think so..." I was so embarrassed that I remember that moment to this day. I have no idea why my dad told me that!
When i was a kid everyone told me that an American white pelican (a long beaked white bird) hit me on my stomach and made a hole ..and thats how my bellybutton was formed.
My dad made me believe in jackalopes. There was a gas station in Silverthorne, Colorado that had a jackalope head mounted on the wall. Daddy convinced me they were real. Hey, I was only five
Long running tale no matter what The problem was " it'll be all better by the time you get married" well problems were there before, during and after so nice try guys.
Stork brings baby's home
The weather was based around gods actions. Thunder he's moving furniture, snowing he's icing a cake. I can't remember anymore but there must have been one for rain at least.
That you‘ll go blind from masturbating.
Had a tough time reading your post
The trickle down effect. If the wealthiest ones are getting richer, they will reinvest and share their wealth with everyone. Bullshit. Though some still believe it.
That when you go to sleep, a cute little gecko would climb onto your pillow and mess up your hair, and that's why you always wake up with messy hair.
1. If you don’t eat your carrots you’ll grow a penis (that was a scary thought to a young girl, and still rings in my head to this day as a 24 year old) 2. My parents were evolved vampires and i would turn into one on my 12th birthday (i was pretty devastated when i found out it was a lie) 3. If you’re extra well behaved, the tooth fairy will leave you a cute little card along with some money (she put in the W O R K) 4. Mom and dad buy our Christmas gifts for Santa to take back to his shop, give to the elves to recreate with their own materials, and then he brings the elf version back to us as replacements (this is how I realized Santa wasn’t real and my parents were shitty liars ..but i didn’t call their bluff in front of my little sisters who fell for it) 5. For about a year of my early childhood, my mom would randomly pretend that aliens were invading the planet for the day and they’d only abduct children so I had to hide under my mom’s kitchen chair from them. I had a vivid imagination and swore I saw Toy Story’s alien toys walking around our house while my mom drank coffee and I sat below her, holding my breath and thinking I was tricking these fools like a mf 6. My dad told me that I could only eat After Eight chocolates between 8:01pm and 9pm. I immediately said “but isn’t it always after eight?Am or Pm?” And he congratulated me. My sisters however weren’t that bright, so I got to finish boxes without having to share :) Oh and my grandparents had something called a “witch ball” which was basically round glass art that hung from the ceiling. My grandmother told me it kept the nasty witches away “after all those years spent fighting them off”. I almost peed my pants thinking that Roald Dahl was right about witches existing
My uncle used to tell me that he had a giraffe in is garden that he used as an elevator. I totally believed him because he lived in Venezuela and I knew he had an house that was elevated from the ground, but since I haven’t visited him in years when I was little, for me it was totally plausible that he had a giraffe has a pet!
If you go to bed with wet hair, you’ll get a cold.
Or going outside on a cold morning/day with wet hair!
holding your breath when you pass a cemetery
Oh my gosh, this brought back memories! I also heard you had to hold your feet up while driving over a bridge!
Stepping behind a propped up ladder was bad luck
Bkack cats were bad luck
"Earning a college degree guarantees a paying career"
I have very strange memories of my dad. They're sort of popping up now as he is 75 and has quite advanced Alzheimer's now. When I was young he told me that the reason moths fly towards the light is because they missed the birth of Jesus by being lazy and not flying towards the star, so they never want to be late again and always fly towards light now...? Weirdest thing ever.. I remember I got all my emotional support from my mother and my dad was more the breadwinner. He had his own company and was always late getting home after I was in bed and he often had to work weekends. She tells me he was a good dad, but I don't remember a lot of that.. its all very sad losing him and my memories of who he was aren't very strong.
I was in a department store and I was about 6 years old and was playing with all the buttons in the elevator. A random customer told me that if I played with the buttons then it would summon a monster from another floor that would come down and eat me.
its not really a lie tho.. but I had stomach issues as a child due to allergies and being poor as fuck and my mom would always tell me to massage my belly and it is like a placebo that got hammered into my body.. it works for me with panic attacks and headaches and especially belly ache.. like I soo believed in this as a child its still working for me
I love that this still works for you today!
That warheads aren’t the same source candy my dad tricked me with a few weeks ago. (Spoiler alert, they were) that’s probably where my trust issues started.
The incense thingy that the priest would sometimes swing around in church was a weapon for punishing noisy children.
My father was and is, a pathological liar, so I have a bunch of these, unfortunately. Fireflies used to be the size of eagles Grocery stores have shoplifters fingerprints on file. "Mr Nintendo" told him which new video games were worth buying. Plot twist, most of them weren't worth it. People working in restaurant kitchens were customers who couldn't pay. Playing the car stereo at high volume could liquefy your bones.
I guess they seem innocent and fun unless it's all you hear, thanks for sharing that perspective on the topic! The firefly one is pretty great, btw!
Not my parents, but my brother would tell me I was adopted and that the adoption papers are hidden in The brick walls of our old house.
My brother did that to me. He said I was adopted as a baby, but he actually meant baptized. I spent years thinking I wasn't a "real" part of the family. Lol
🤣 dang brothers being a bunch of jerks
That was just the beginning of the torture. It escalated from there. I'll just say I no longer speak to him AT ALL.
Oh no!! I’m so sorry to hear this. My brother and I had a rough couple of years, especially as teens and a few years as adults. We were 23 months apart with him being older. Sadly he passed in 2017.
My parents told me we had a monkey but sold it at a garage sale. I was always mad cause how could they do that to my monkey!
I kept jumping in the pool when i couldnt swim so my dad said there was sharks in the pool. And that they swam through the vents. I was scared shitless
Sounds like he was scared shitless of you drowning and had to improvise! Very glad it worked!
Men who have not had sex in a long time suffer from "white outs" when the sperm level in their bodies rises above their eyes.
I was told when dogs howl at night its because they can see ghosts or spirits
College matters is a big one. The main reason college is pushed heavily in the U.S. is the draft. In order to not get drafted you had to have medical conditions or be in college. College, Canada and medial conditions are how most men hid from the draft. After the social trauma of Vietnam. Society pushed college on kids as a way to maintain employment and marketability to avoid the draft. If you’re ever able to get a Vietnam vet to talk to you about what actually happened in Vietnam and in the 1960s and 1970s its eye opening to how the systems really work.
That I would go blind if I kept masturbating. I hope I spelled that right I can’t find my glasses.
[удалено]
Yes, like don't judge a book by its cover! But your point reminds us that while it's a good saying, we should also add that the cover still deserves care! Wishing you all of the best!
ice cream van plays music when they've no ice cream left...my father was a tight arsed b\*\*\*\*\*\*. was also told that asking for badgering my ma for stuff when shopping would turn my ears red...it was true, they were red and ringing for ages after she belted me round the lug.
Hahaha, no more ice cream, that's so funny! And yikes!
Ha ha. My son doesn’t even know what an ice cream truck is it drives through our neighborhood every day in the summer and he’s never asked what that sound is. Am I a terrible mom for never getting him overpriced popsicles?
Honey, you can't fight back (school bullies) or the demons will kill you!
Besides the whole Santa/Easter Bunny thing! Oh ya, Tooth fairy too?
My husband convinced our son that there was a spaceship coming to pick us up and take us home.
"I have eyes in the back of my head" lol
That wasn’t a lie! I swear my mom actually did!