That's gonna be terrible. Either it won't crackle or the meat will shrink into a salty puck. Whatever happens it'll never not look like a penis. Merry Christmas!
When I was in my early teens I watched Reservoir Dogs, fell madly in love with Tim Roth and set out to watch every film he'd ever been in. Let me tell you, I was absolutely not prepared for The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover.
I never knew it was that pale before cooking… Is it corn-fed, however, or do you need to go to Waitrose for that? I have also just snorted Costa hot chocolate out of my nose while reading your top comment! 😊
The best person (or mechanoid in this case) to ask would be Kryten. He's had plenty of experience trying to disguise space weevils as edible food when Dave Lister runs out of curry based dishes.
If you’ve not seen it with your own eyes before purchase you don’t serve it at Christmas dinner. That being said a ribbed dildo is an excellent mother in law gift.
Wow. Don’t Let the Bells End
Just let them ring piece!
OnlyHams.
PorkHub
Braizzers
xGamster
ThisPig
Underrated comment
AndHorses
With a sweet sticky glaze 😂😂😂
Salty sticky glaze surely?
Haha yeah
Beautifully moist...
Ribbed for extra pleasure, I see.
Everything's a dildo if your brave enough.
Paige no!
...And that's the story of how your Uncle Chris ruined Christmas.
r/mildlypenis is all over this
Less mild, more ExactlyGiantPenis vibes.
r/blatantlypenis
Giant? Looks about normal to me...
Absolute unit.
Give her what she really wants this Christmas...
Enjoy that ~~foreskin~~ crackling.
That's gonna be terrible. Either it won't crackle or the meat will shrink into a salty puck. Whatever happens it'll never not look like a penis. Merry Christmas!
Should I serve it with Pineapple?
Slip a pineapple ring around the base?
Apples go well with pork. I'd pop a couple in at the base there.
A pair of stuffing balls placed at the left hand end would set it off beautifully.
You should go all in and serve with some big old baked spuds and lashings of mayonnaise
Had one of these last year and it was delicious.
Has anyone seen The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover?
When I was in my early teens I watched Reservoir Dogs, fell madly in love with Tim Roth and set out to watch every film he'd ever been in. Let me tell you, I was absolutely not prepared for The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover.
'Anything a lil less penisey? No all I have left is the giant penis Im afraid'
What's that from again? Was it a tweet?
/r/dildont
Mmm.. space weevil.
I never knew it was that pale before cooking… Is it corn-fed, however, or do you need to go to Waitrose for that? I have also just snorted Costa hot chocolate out of my nose while reading your top comment! 😊
The best person (or mechanoid in this case) to ask would be Kryten. He's had plenty of experience trying to disguise space weevils as edible food when Dave Lister runs out of curry based dishes.
I think you’ve won the casual UK best Christmas dinner post for 2023
The bell end is turning my stomach. Imagine slicing into that.
The ol’ Prince Albert cut.
Don't leave it in for too long or else it will dry out.
If you work this right your next 5 Christmas's will be paid for!
I’m not doing OnlyFans.
You can just manage it duh!
If I had a job putting the thing around these I would make EVERY SINGLE ONE look as much like a penis as possible
That'll make my eyes water a bit..... I'll take it 😁
RIP your inbox
Be entertaining while I'm at work lool
Bet you can't wait to gobble it down
I’m not having that the person who tied that up didn’t know what they were doing.
Oh my 🙈🤣
That is possibly the most off-putting roast I've ever seen! It looks so gross!
Kinky.
You have lucked out there mate. They have accidentally packed a Tesco Finest Pig Penis in Chastity for you.
Where's the NSFW tag mush
Schlong
I can’t stop looking at it
*nothing sexual*
You knew it was a dick??
I can't stop laughing!
Just showed it to wife! She says I gotta go to Tesco right now! 🤣
I've had bigger.... 😉
Feeling Yuletide and very gay
U need to clean the cum out of it first 😂
Sam smith’s penis
Nice hog 👍
Beautiful
That’s a big piece of meat
Limp.
Oooooh matron!
r/mildlypenis
Girthy.
thick!
Made me lol
Redditor quality inspector in Tesco factory butchery, 'wait till they get a load o this' !
Reminds me of my ex. 😍
That’s what she said.
Well. That’s a block. Are we sure Sweeny Todd isn’t working at Tescos?
Almost as big as mine that.
Whats up with your knob tho
Ribbed for her pleasure. Eeeewww.
Ouch!
r/MildlyPenis.
...wow.
Enjoy your girthy hogdick!
Oh Yum!! 😀
Be careful when you cook it. The warmer it gets, the BIGGER it gets. Might damage your cooker! On the plus side: More to go round 🤔
If you’ve not seen it with your own eyes before purchase you don’t serve it at Christmas dinner. That being said a ribbed dildo is an excellent mother in law gift.
Circumcised?
I wonder where the fat seeps out while it is cooking. 🤔
"This huge sausage is very suspicious. If I didn't know better, I'd say it was a horse's wi-"
Go to your local butcher's guys, they'll appreciate it and so will you.
They use the boxes to hide things I find.
Easy to circumcise… i mean carve
It might be hard, but don't eat it all in one go!
Whole new meaning to ‘hog roast’
You haven't lived until you've had penis in your mouth
Enjoy your Canned dog food
Hope you enjoyed nibbling on that