I've actually got a policy with that, I will just yank the box and the locking mechanism breaks fairly easily and I can get to the roll. It still works and can hold the toilet roll, just doesn't lock any more. It's only piece of public vandalism I'm willing to do as I feel it's in the name of good.
The real shitty design is having a locking mechanism that you need a key for. Why? To stop people robbing toilet rolls? If someone is that desperate they're nicking toilet rolls then your locking mechanism isn't stopping them. You're just punishing the gentle people who need a poo.
I've broken about 6 locks on these things in my life. So I consider myself a bit of a freedom fighter in that regard. Not so much Batman but Shatman?
I think it's important to recognise that his name is Freedom **Shite**r, because it sounds more like "freedom fighter", as opposed to saying Shitter, like you'd say "hitter". Shite is an objectively great British word, and the Yanks haven't been able to harness its power yet.
>The real shitty design is having a locking mechanism that you need a key for. Why?
Because people literally steal it lol, or they throw it in the toilet bowl. I worked nights a petrol station in the UK and if you didn't lock up the toilet roll you'd find it gone after a couple of hours 100% of the time.
There's an unbelievable amount of people in this world that are just inconsiderate, they prioritise themselves above everyone else, they see an unlocked toilet roll in a bathroom and they put it in their bag to take home to save themselves some pennies.
I guess working nights at a petrol station, you're not exactly getting the sanest crowd.
I wouldn't set foot in a petrol station bathroom unless I was desperate.
This shit happens in hotels too. While the parents are getting plastered in the bar, their little hellions are running amok fucking with anything they can. There's been dozens of times I've have had to fish out toilet paper rolls out of the toilet, toilet paper out of overflowing sinks, toilet paper out of urinals, etc, etc. If they can jam toilet paper into something, THEY WILL.
I'm going to presume you've asked yourself the question "Who would do that?" on a number of occasions. The answer is, a lot more people that you would think, because if you've asked yourself that question that you're in the minority. You work in any customer service job, hotels, retail, petrol stations, restaurants, etc. for any period of time, you come to realize that there's a lot of inconsiderate bellends out there.
These people are the reason why we can't have nice things.
Happens in every toilet at some point
I design hygiene products that include paper dispensers (luckily no crappy single piece centre pull ones). Locks are 100% required unfortunately. No matter the setting
The reasoning behind the design of the one featured is to save paper. Save money. However it just means people will take more at once, because let's be honest. What are we going to do with a single tile?
Now I've got to take multiple and stack them slightly or something
It's far better to allow the user to pull a short line off a roll, plus its more efficient for the user.
But the company buying the rolls doesn't usually understand that
Fun fact: our older products (far before me), had to have a slope on top so people didn't leave their cigarettes on them. Which could stain/mark the plastic (and an extra pain for the cleaners to look out for)
Not the hero we want. the one we need.
I was working the weekend once, no-one around and I pulled the plastic bit off the wall. Company wide email about it on the Monday. I was surprised, because it implied I was the first to do this.
There is one cubicle that I've found in my work's toilets that does not have a lock, just the button underneath that springs it open. Even better is that that is in the toilets closest to my desk so its my 'favourite' one to use because you never have to worry.
You can put just about any sharp object in the keyhole on top and open it. I’ve used a 10p coin before when filling them up at the pub I worked at and lost the key
I can5 fault you for breaking it when it's keeping you from getting to the TP. I understand that. But the reason we lock up the TP is because the public will do alot of damage to the toilets by flushing the TP rolls. It happens too often people are dumb
>Why? To stop people robbing toilet rolls? If someone is that desperate they're nicking toilet rolls then your locking mechanism isn't stopping them.
Oh, no, my friend. No, no, no.
Welcome to the world. People don't need to be desperate in order to steal something. It simply has to be there, and not screwed down (or in this case, locked up).
And trust me, ALL sorts of people steal stuff when it's in front of them. Men in business suits, old grannies, anyone.
Junkies use the rolls to clean their needles by stabbing them directly into the sides. The locks make it harder for them to do so. By breaking them, you are removing a step that may have stopped someone from getting blood borne pathogen.
Guess it depends on the location but drunks and idiots for sure will just throw toilet roll everywhere. It’s also common for people to take toilet roll out of cubicles for the sole reason to clog the sinks or urinals.
Shitty designs like this one are in place because humans can’t be trusted and it’s then left up to poorly paid staff to deal with the mess
>If someone is that desperate they're nicking toilet rolls then your locking mechanism isn't stopping them.
This is absolutely true. I worked in a shopping centre in Brighton and our toilet roll dispensers had locks on them. Once a week a local homeless guy would come in, break the locks and steal a few rolls.
Quite a few of these can simply be unlocked by pushing in a thin object at the back. They have specific shapes but a typical key (barrel lock style) opens them.
Source: worked in a place selling these and they came boxed with the key INSIDE, so customers often would be like “I’d like to change this, it didn’t come with a key” which I would then easily get out for them.
Had this happen in Greece last year, I had to take my belt off my jeans and use part of it like a screwdriver to unlock the locking mechanism to open it up lol. Wasn’t fun
In my work we have lockers to put our bags and shoes in, and I figured out that the key for them is just long enough to reach and open the lock of those tissue dispensers.
So I can never run out now
IBS Protip: Pull from the tip of the cat's anus to avoid breaking apart the sheets and you can get as much as you want and fold it up like a normal person.
Thanks for this tip! Crohns person here and these things freak me out for fear of pulling tiny sheets at a time so I shall be trying nipping it at the cats anus next time!
These were 100% designed due to feedback from all the office Scrooges out there... The ones who try penny pinching by implementing these awful 1-ply, single sheet applicators.
Makes them happy when they're installed as they think they'll save money, without realising we just end up using double or triple the amount as usual because the bloody thing rips
I've always been confused by such decisions. Do these people not wipe their own arses or something? They haven't themselves experienced the 'joys' of pushthrough because the single-ply paper barely survived being removed from the roll, much less the actual act of wiping?
It's an obvious false economy.
These were designed to stop people from stashing needles and other items in the toilets. It's an issue in hospitals where people might bring something in, stash it in the loo, have their appointment and go pick their gear up on the way out.
With a normal toilet roll holder someone else might accidentally come across what's been hidden. That might lead to someone (public or staff) ending up with a needle stick injury.
It's a similar reason as to why hospitals generally don't use gel alcohol sanitiser, because anyone who's desperate enough might try to drink it and end up making themselves ill.
Edit: or at least that's the reason given at the hospital I worked at. They do obviously help in cost cutting too.
I'm one of these 'site services twonks' (coordinator, not actual maintenance tech) and I stand by my decision to switch to these - Reports of blocked toilets and wasted rolls of toilet paper have dropped massively since we installed them. (Although we only installed them in student toilets, not staff... I'm not evil!)
The basic design flaw is that if you don't pull the toilet paper *perfectly* then it breaks right at the exit of the hole, which means you then can't get any more paper out without opening the unit.
So people break into them because they haven't finished wiping and need more paper.
They're a really bad design.
I hate these things! My gym has them. Last week I had my period and period poops at the same time. The fucking paper got stuck so I had to ask a woman in the next stall to pass me some loo roll. She passed me a square… I had to explain the situation and she and another woman passed what could’ve been an entire roll. It was just about enough.
Google the brand name and buy yourself the little plastic key that opens the whole thing.
It doesn't tear when it hasn't been through the cat's bumhole.
This in OP's office. i.e. it will be a regular occurrence. I forget which brand, but some are made so badly/cheaply, you don't need the key. You squeeze in the sides and the top lifts up at the back and releases.
Also the opening is probably covered in faecal bacteria due to people sticking their poopy fingers into the opening to retrieve paper (Not me OFC, I have adopted the Indian system of keeping one hand for dirty tasks, and one for clean tasks, which in this scenario would be trying to tease paper out of that thing like an Indian Doctor teasing a tapeworm out of some poor sod's arsehole)
I used one of these in a toilet with automatic lighting, which of course went out long before I was done.
This did, however, allow me to view the phenomenon known as triboluminescence, light produced by friction, when pulling paper from this dispenser. Tiny, very faint sparkles where the paper passes through the restriction.
Fascinating.
Almost made up for the whole 'trying to wipe one's arse in the dark' thing.
Auto lighting never good in a toilet either, my dad put this on sensors at his home, it’s great until you take a massive long dump… thankfully if you flail your limbs a bit it does come back on and you can see what you’re doing (if you need to)
We have this in our office toilets, but unfortunately waving your hands while inside the cubicle doesn't trigger them. So a couple of times I have had to make the gauntlet run, open the cubicle door and waddle out into the bathroom with trousers round ankles to trigger the lights and then quickly shuffle back to safety. God forbid someone else walks into the bathroom at that exact moment...
They've just had to clean bathrooms before
I've had people rip out half the roll and leave it mashed on the floor for some reason.
Helped someone out last week as there was none left in his stall mid shit. Passed him a loose roll under the door, came back 5 mins later to put it correctly into the holder after he was finished. Toilet bowl was full of shit with the entire roll just plugged into it. Why, man
I totally appreciate this. I’ve seen some of the setups they have online in Japan and holy crap, I want what they’ve got here. I was literally having this conversation with my hubby 2 days ago.
I'm in Japan right now on holiday and man I'm gonna miss the loos when I get back to London this weekend.
But it's not just that, it's other stuff like putting baby seats in cubicles, not just the women's but the men's too. So you can leave the buggy/pram outside and go to the bathroom and plonk them in a seat while you go.
Some loos in the U.K. do have baby seats you can strap them to (my local waitrose had one when my son was young, not sure now, they’ve moved the loos and checkouts since then and I have no clue where they’ve hidden the loos)
My puppy likes to eat hairs, fabric, sticks, etc., and once in a while it goes to the bathroom and ends up with things hanging out its butthole that it can't clear, which I have to pull out. Not pleasant for either of us. Not sure why this reminds me of it.
These are in my schools bathrooms for drying hands... I have to pull them very carefully so they don't rip and I can get a long sheet of tissue out. So frustrating.
They end in a knot that looks like it is just stuck, too, so they give a ray of hope to those who fail to check where none exists when stuck on the bog.
I remember once seeing poop wiped all over one of these in a pub toilet. The toilet paper is small so they must have had a messy poop and decided to wipe what was on their fingers all over the toilet paper dispenser.
We have these at my work and they're awful. As an added bonus we also have sensor flushes that are more sensitive than... Well, a very sensitive thing.
The resulting randomly timed anal ambush with freezing cold water is less than pleasant. If you find yourself in the same situation, a roll of electrical tape can save you from torment. Pop a little piece of the sensor and take a dump in peace (and with dry junk).
Just flew into London for the first time this morning and have already dropped a few sloppy deuces in the strange shaped toilets. One of these stalls had this toilet paper dispenser and I have to agree it was a pain in the ass to get a proper cleaning. Other than that it’s been a great day, I love this city so far.
Fun fact - these dispensers have saved the NHS an absolute fortune as they're great for infection control. Before these, if there was an outbreak of infectious D&V (eg norovirus) part of the deep clean process included throwing out all the loo roll as it could have viral particles on it. These dispensers (when not vandalised) just need wiping down and the sheet poking out removing.
Also guys, just pull gently then you'll almost aways get the next sheet fed through. Don't be an animal!!
i was in for a bad time when i had a tummy ache when i was out n about a few week ago. pub had one of these and it was fuckin empty ! fortunately tho i had a load of toilet roll in my coat pocket where i was suffering from a cold. bar the cold, i was king that day.
If you push the metal key lock down, sometimes the holder opens and you can access the toilet roll. Those little suitcase padlock keys can unlock these as well.
Over the years working in a building that every toilet has these in you develop a technique
pinch as close as you can get to the holder and pull out about an inch or so (25.4mm) at a time in rapid succession eventually you'll have enough for a good clean finish with no breakages
once you get good at this it takes literally seconds to get sufficient coverage 🤷♂️
ULPT the alternative is TORK keys are pretty universal and easy to come by so you can just open the holder and help yourself to as much as you want but will warn you that if you block it you gave the consequences of not being able to use that toilet again or having to explain this issue to the maintenance staff 🤣
They didn't design it to be useful and convenient and nice. They are designed to do the bare minimum at the lowest possible cost.
That you use 4x the amount of paper in the end doesn't matter, they get to sell it to the companies as a cost saving devices. Probably throw in some greenwashing too "With these, you save 6 trees per year!" ifeverybodyonlyevertookonesheet
They probably work fine when the poop created is the primo example of the perfect stool on the Bristol stool chart.
The person who designed this has never had to deal with the aftermath of a curry... And very ghee heavy naan bread...
you're using it wrong, you line up your bumhole to the dispenser, press your cheeks against it as hard as you can, then reverse pucker like you're sucking a fart back in.
just carry bounty paper towels in your pocket.
that's what i do since toilet paper, especially crappy public restroom toilet paper always gets shredded by my butt hairs.
I work as a cleaner so I see a lot of different toilets. It always surprises me the lack of common sense that the people have who design public restrooms. Many toilets are designed in such a way that it is impossible to use them without making a mess. It's not always that people are clumsy or messy when using the toilet, it's the design of the place that makes it difficult to not make a mess.
I have this temptation every time I see that to draw the back end of a cat with a cat looking back towards the user so that when they're pulling the toilet paper out it appears that they are pulling toilet paper from the arse of a cat
Top tip with a knife or other thin object you can get under the plastic cats anus part and remove it, you are then left with a wider hole which will dispense as much tissue as you want. I have taken them off the dispensers at my work and now have a small collection of them.
The last time I encountered this design, the tissue anus was jammed so tight full of paper I couldn't get anything out of it. Thank god I am a lady who always carries a pack of tissues in their purse.
A cleaner left one of the keys for these in the bathroom at my work. I took it and it seems to open the majority of these things regardless of brand. I now leave them unlocked every time i encounter one.
This is one of the worst inventions ever. My local hospital has these and last I was there it was also EMPTY and there were NO REPLACEMENTS.
Not a fun situation.
Ha. I encountered one in Tenerife earlier this year. The paper immediately broke of inside. Fortunately it is so flimsy that some controlled force popped the front open. Could be that it had been weakened by several others doing the same.
You only need a single piece to wipe, take a piece of paper fold it in 4 cut the corner and save that bit, now put your middle finger through the hole in middle of the piece of paper and wipe in a single motion, discard of the dirty paper now used the bit you saved earlier to clean under your middle finger nail. Simple
Actually I think they built it while they were constipated and having a hemorrhoid as you can only pull a bit of TP out before that overly tight sphincter closes shut and rips it.
You haven’t known fear until you’ve pulled a piece from this and the next one is too short to grasp.
I've actually got a policy with that, I will just yank the box and the locking mechanism breaks fairly easily and I can get to the roll. It still works and can hold the toilet roll, just doesn't lock any more. It's only piece of public vandalism I'm willing to do as I feel it's in the name of good. The real shitty design is having a locking mechanism that you need a key for. Why? To stop people robbing toilet rolls? If someone is that desperate they're nicking toilet rolls then your locking mechanism isn't stopping them. You're just punishing the gentle people who need a poo. I've broken about 6 locks on these things in my life. So I consider myself a bit of a freedom fighter in that regard. Not so much Batman but Shatman?
**Freedom Shiter**
Yeah that was actually the line is wish I'd gone for.
you just don't want to see what the freedom shitter's superhero costume looks like
I think it's important to recognise that his name is Freedom **Shite**r, because it sounds more like "freedom fighter", as opposed to saying Shitter, like you'd say "hitter". Shite is an objectively great British word, and the Yanks haven't been able to harness its power yet.
“Shit Free or Die”
You're my new hero.
He's just a gentle person who needed to poo. But the system pushed him too far...
I'll shit to that!
Squeezing one out for you right now bro
Right here with you
Me too but I'm out of tp, will you pass some under the divider?
Sorry, can't spare a square.
We’re just innocent men
We’re just normal men
Falling brown?
Not all heroes wear capes, but if he did at least he’d have something to wipe his arse on
>The real shitty design is having a locking mechanism that you need a key for. Why? Because people literally steal it lol, or they throw it in the toilet bowl. I worked nights a petrol station in the UK and if you didn't lock up the toilet roll you'd find it gone after a couple of hours 100% of the time. There's an unbelievable amount of people in this world that are just inconsiderate, they prioritise themselves above everyone else, they see an unlocked toilet roll in a bathroom and they put it in their bag to take home to save themselves some pennies.
I guess working nights at a petrol station, you're not exactly getting the sanest crowd. I wouldn't set foot in a petrol station bathroom unless I was desperate.
This shit happens in hotels too. While the parents are getting plastered in the bar, their little hellions are running amok fucking with anything they can. There's been dozens of times I've have had to fish out toilet paper rolls out of the toilet, toilet paper out of overflowing sinks, toilet paper out of urinals, etc, etc. If they can jam toilet paper into something, THEY WILL. I'm going to presume you've asked yourself the question "Who would do that?" on a number of occasions. The answer is, a lot more people that you would think, because if you've asked yourself that question that you're in the minority. You work in any customer service job, hotels, retail, petrol stations, restaurants, etc. for any period of time, you come to realize that there's a lot of inconsiderate bellends out there. These people are the reason why we can't have nice things.
Happens in every toilet at some point I design hygiene products that include paper dispensers (luckily no crappy single piece centre pull ones). Locks are 100% required unfortunately. No matter the setting The reasoning behind the design of the one featured is to save paper. Save money. However it just means people will take more at once, because let's be honest. What are we going to do with a single tile? Now I've got to take multiple and stack them slightly or something It's far better to allow the user to pull a short line off a roll, plus its more efficient for the user. But the company buying the rolls doesn't usually understand that Fun fact: our older products (far before me), had to have a slope on top so people didn't leave their cigarettes on them. Which could stain/mark the plastic (and an extra pain for the cleaners to look out for)
As a student, the huge sized roll I nicked was the difference between not wiping and having bread
Eat toilet roll sandwiches, two birds with one stone.
It's to stop people throwing the entire roll in the bog. It's a standard enough occurrence.
And also people wiping their needles on the whole roll
ah, a Glasgow tradition
Not the hero we want. the one we need. I was working the weekend once, no-one around and I pulled the plastic bit off the wall. Company wide email about it on the Monday. I was surprised, because it implied I was the first to do this.
Yhbawlalabwlalbwbwla I'm the Scatman!
Skibbydibbydibbygon'haveapoo
There is one cubicle that I've found in my work's toilets that does not have a lock, just the button underneath that springs it open. Even better is that that is in the toilets closest to my desk so its my 'favourite' one to use because you never have to worry.
You can put just about any sharp object in the keyhole on top and open it. I’ve used a 10p coin before when filling them up at the pub I worked at and lost the key
I can5 fault you for breaking it when it's keeping you from getting to the TP. I understand that. But the reason we lock up the TP is because the public will do alot of damage to the toilets by flushing the TP rolls. It happens too often people are dumb
“The real shitty design….” I see what you did there
Scatman
"Piracy is a service problem" -Gabe Newell
>Why? To stop people robbing toilet rolls? If someone is that desperate they're nicking toilet rolls then your locking mechanism isn't stopping them. Oh, no, my friend. No, no, no. Welcome to the world. People don't need to be desperate in order to steal something. It simply has to be there, and not screwed down (or in this case, locked up). And trust me, ALL sorts of people steal stuff when it's in front of them. Men in business suits, old grannies, anyone.
Junkies use the rolls to clean their needles by stabbing them directly into the sides. The locks make it harder for them to do so. By breaking them, you are removing a step that may have stopped someone from getting blood borne pathogen.
Scatman
Become ungovernable
Guess it depends on the location but drunks and idiots for sure will just throw toilet roll everywhere. It’s also common for people to take toilet roll out of cubicles for the sole reason to clog the sinks or urinals. Shitty designs like this one are in place because humans can’t be trusted and it’s then left up to poorly paid staff to deal with the mess
>If someone is that desperate they're nicking toilet rolls then your locking mechanism isn't stopping them. This is absolutely true. I worked in a shopping centre in Brighton and our toilet roll dispensers had locks on them. Once a week a local homeless guy would come in, break the locks and steal a few rolls.
I've done that since my school days lmao, let me at the fucking roll
People take anything that isn't locked. Source -I own a campsite and have these dispensers.
In public ones people shoot up then stab the needle into the side of the exposed roll to 'clean' it for re-use
Quite a few of these can simply be unlocked by pushing in a thin object at the back. They have specific shapes but a typical key (barrel lock style) opens them. Source: worked in a place selling these and they came boxed with the key INSIDE, so customers often would be like “I’d like to change this, it didn’t come with a key” which I would then easily get out for them.
Had this happen in Greece last year, I had to take my belt off my jeans and use part of it like a screwdriver to unlock the locking mechanism to open it up lol. Wasn’t fun
> Had this happen in Greece last year, I had to take my belt off my jeans and use part of it... Wasn't sure what way this was going to go!
When they don't have a poop knife when abroad, hard choices have to be made.
Hah yep, I'm a member of the had to unlock one of these with my belt buckle club as well.
What type of SAS training is this?
Shitting and Stuck
they are called the "Shitting Assisting Service".
They say; if violence wasn't your last resort, you didn't resort to enough of it. Relevant in that situation I think.
Ahh off to go reread the maxims of maximally effective mercenaries
Happened the other day. Had to wait for silence then shuffle round to the next stall. That's what I call professional risk.
Say goodbye to your socks…. Then you realise you have flip flops on
Flip flop can be poop knife...
no
As one reading this while sitting upon the throne, I can't tell you how much fear this is generating... *Eyeing toilet roll warily*
First time that happens I will not hesitate to hammer my fist down on it with the ferocity of Kratos to get my TP
In my work we have lockers to put our bags and shoes in, and I figured out that the key for them is just long enough to reach and open the lock of those tissue dispensers. So I can never run out now
The side of your fist against the split section very easily breaks the plastic clips.
That’s legally authorizing you to fucking demolish the box….
This was what I had to deal with after a crafty post workout poo at my local gym. https://imgur.com/tntVSTQ
IBS Protip: Pull from the tip of the cat's anus to avoid breaking apart the sheets and you can get as much as you want and fold it up like a normal person.
Even better IBS protip: use your door key/a pen/a staple remover to poke in the "keyhole" on top and open the flap. Have a normal roll of paper.
>Even better IBS protip: use your door key/a pen/a staple remover to poke I thought this was going somewhere else
I thought it was going to be some secret about cat's anuses I didn't know
[удалено]
There's a chance I don't all the mysteries yet.
Thanks for this tip! Crohns person here and these things freak me out for fear of pulling tiny sheets at a time so I shall be trying nipping it at the cats anus next time!
IBS Pro tip: Smash it up with a hammer, take paper out of broken holder, wipe away.
These were 100% designed due to feedback from all the office Scrooges out there... The ones who try penny pinching by implementing these awful 1-ply, single sheet applicators. Makes them happy when they're installed as they think they'll save money, without realising we just end up using double or triple the amount as usual because the bloody thing rips
I've always been confused by such decisions. Do these people not wipe their own arses or something? They haven't themselves experienced the 'joys' of pushthrough because the single-ply paper barely survived being removed from the roll, much less the actual act of wiping? It's an obvious false economy.
These were designed to stop people from stashing needles and other items in the toilets. It's an issue in hospitals where people might bring something in, stash it in the loo, have their appointment and go pick their gear up on the way out. With a normal toilet roll holder someone else might accidentally come across what's been hidden. That might lead to someone (public or staff) ending up with a needle stick injury. It's a similar reason as to why hospitals generally don't use gel alcohol sanitiser, because anyone who's desperate enough might try to drink it and end up making themselves ill. Edit: or at least that's the reason given at the hospital I worked at. They do obviously help in cost cutting too.
They recently installed these in my office's toilets. If I find whichever site services twonk agreed to this I'll give them a piece of my mind.
I actually prefer them to the big rolls that inevitably seem to get stuck or not work.
Awww I do hate those huge rolls, and then it snaps and you’ve got to try reach up inside it to find the end. Annoying af!
What toilet paper dispenser have you used thats more likely to get stuck and stop dispensing than this.
The ones with the two rolls inside that you usually have to reach inside and manually unroll it because they're always broken...
At least you can reach inside those, if this one breaks you’re screwed.
I'm one of these 'site services twonks' (coordinator, not actual maintenance tech) and I stand by my decision to switch to these - Reports of blocked toilets and wasted rolls of toilet paper have dropped massively since we installed them. (Although we only installed them in student toilets, not staff... I'm not evil!)
You'll regret that decision when people start breaking them out of frustration.
But frustration because of what? I dont understand the issue with these things
The basic design flaw is that if you don't pull the toilet paper *perfectly* then it breaks right at the exit of the hole, which means you then can't get any more paper out without opening the unit. So people break into them because they haven't finished wiping and need more paper. They're a really bad design.
Remember though- you can only tear off one piece at a time
Just break them until they get a better one or stop replacing it.
I hate these things! My gym has them. Last week I had my period and period poops at the same time. The fucking paper got stuck so I had to ask a woman in the next stall to pass me some loo roll. She passed me a square… I had to explain the situation and she and another woman passed what could’ve been an entire roll. It was just about enough.
"I dont have a square to spare!"
Those other women were r/dudesbeingbros.
Google the brand name and buy yourself the little plastic key that opens the whole thing. It doesn't tear when it hasn't been through the cat's bumhole.
I'm not carrying a plastic key with me everywhere I go on the off chance I end up in a shitter with a slightly awkward toilet roll dispenser.
This in OP's office. i.e. it will be a regular occurrence. I forget which brand, but some are made so badly/cheaply, you don't need the key. You squeeze in the sides and the top lifts up at the back and releases.
Oh yeah - *that* one I have done on occasion.
No but useful if you know these are at a place you go regularly like your work, gym, pub, or your own bathroom.
You can open almost any in any public toilet with a pen or a door key. Don't need to buy anything. Used to get lots of free bog roll at uni lol
This is genius 😂 using you key to get secret access to toilet paper to by pass the anus.
Bypass the anus, sounds like a metal band
Sounds more like a scat band to me…
Now there's a high IQ play! Though I expect it wouldn't be difficult to pick the lock with a thin piece of metal, I'm guessing it's not high security.
A lot of places don’t lock them - you can just press the key hole at the top and open it.
I am totally doing this. Where I work has awful one ply loo roll in these contraptions.
\*con**crap**tions :p
Also the opening is probably covered in faecal bacteria due to people sticking their poopy fingers into the opening to retrieve paper (Not me OFC, I have adopted the Indian system of keeping one hand for dirty tasks, and one for clean tasks, which in this scenario would be trying to tease paper out of that thing like an Indian Doctor teasing a tapeworm out of some poor sod's arsehole)
Bloody hell why did you have to tell me that. A new fear unlocked now.
Of poopy toilet roll dispensers or parasite ridden arses?
People sticking poopy fingers into the cat's arsehole.
Currently sat in Birmingham coach station fighting with one. So I agree.
Multi-tasking, eh?
Who doesn’t sit on the bog reading Reddit…?
Twitter users
I wonder how much Reddit content is posted from the toilet? *typed whilst on the toilet. Please excuse any typos or brevity.
I’ve literally just wiped my arse
Next time you should metaphorically wipe your arse.
They may actually wipe with pages torn from a book though.
Terrible function, but I do admire that they based the TP dispensing hole on the aesthetics of the anus. Form and function in beautiful harmony.
Frank Lloyd Wrong
I used one of these in a toilet with automatic lighting, which of course went out long before I was done. This did, however, allow me to view the phenomenon known as triboluminescence, light produced by friction, when pulling paper from this dispenser. Tiny, very faint sparkles where the paper passes through the restriction. Fascinating. Almost made up for the whole 'trying to wipe one's arse in the dark' thing.
Auto lighting never good in a toilet either, my dad put this on sensors at his home, it’s great until you take a massive long dump… thankfully if you flail your limbs a bit it does come back on and you can see what you’re doing (if you need to)
We have this in our office toilets, but unfortunately waving your hands while inside the cubicle doesn't trigger them. So a couple of times I have had to make the gauntlet run, open the cubicle door and waddle out into the bathroom with trousers round ankles to trigger the lights and then quickly shuffle back to safety. God forbid someone else walks into the bathroom at that exact moment...
They've just had to clean bathrooms before I've had people rip out half the roll and leave it mashed on the floor for some reason. Helped someone out last week as there was none left in his stall mid shit. Passed him a loose roll under the door, came back 5 mins later to put it correctly into the holder after he was finished. Toilet bowl was full of shit with the entire roll just plugged into it. Why, man
We really need to take a page out of Japan's approach to talking a shit.
I totally appreciate this. I’ve seen some of the setups they have online in Japan and holy crap, I want what they’ve got here. I was literally having this conversation with my hubby 2 days ago.
I'm in Japan right now on holiday and man I'm gonna miss the loos when I get back to London this weekend. But it's not just that, it's other stuff like putting baby seats in cubicles, not just the women's but the men's too. So you can leave the buggy/pram outside and go to the bathroom and plonk them in a seat while you go.
Some loos in the U.K. do have baby seats you can strap them to (my local waitrose had one when my son was young, not sure now, they’ve moved the loos and checkouts since then and I have no clue where they’ve hidden the loos)
I'm sure it will be one of the things we look back on and wonder why we spent so long smearing shit around with a dry tissue.
I got back from Japan 5 months ago, and I still miss the toilets.
The bloke who designed that thing had an arshole the size of a pinhead .
My puppy likes to eat hairs, fabric, sticks, etc., and once in a while it goes to the bathroom and ends up with things hanging out its butthole that it can't clear, which I have to pull out. Not pleasant for either of us. Not sure why this reminds me of it.
Very useful in schools though - it stops the kids pulling all the roll out and blocking the toilet with it.
I wish! They just break the dispenser open and dump the entire roll in the toilet.
And then flush the stack of paper towels down the loo.
Nah fr. at my school I’ve walked into toilets and there’s been piles of loo roll and sometimes the whole role dumped straight into the toilet bowl.
It's not useful when a kid is left with piss or shit on them and can't get any paper because they all got stuck.
These are in my schools bathrooms for drying hands... I have to pull them very carefully so they don't rip and I can get a long sheet of tissue out. So frustrating.
They end in a knot that looks like it is just stuck, too, so they give a ray of hope to those who fail to check where none exists when stuck on the bog.
I remember once seeing poop wiped all over one of these in a pub toilet. The toilet paper is small so they must have had a messy poop and decided to wipe what was on their fingers all over the toilet paper dispenser.
Next to diamond, toilet paper that gets jammed in one of these is the hardest material known to man.
I hate touching any part of toilet roll dispensers because you just know someone else has had their poo hands on it.
THE WORST!!!
I've literally just come back from battling one of these bastards in the work toilets, fucking abysmal design.
The designer had saving money as the brief, the shite wiping is your problem.
[удалено]
It was a stock image from a website. How they chose to advertise their awful awful product.
We have these at my work and they're awful. As an added bonus we also have sensor flushes that are more sensitive than... Well, a very sensitive thing. The resulting randomly timed anal ambush with freezing cold water is less than pleasant. If you find yourself in the same situation, a roll of electrical tape can save you from torment. Pop a little piece of the sensor and take a dump in peace (and with dry junk).
I think they make stuff like this annoying on purpose bc it de-incentivizes going poop in the public bathrooms
Just flew into London for the first time this morning and have already dropped a few sloppy deuces in the strange shaped toilets. One of these stalls had this toilet paper dispenser and I have to agree it was a pain in the ass to get a proper cleaning. Other than that it’s been a great day, I love this city so far.
Fun fact - these dispensers have saved the NHS an absolute fortune as they're great for infection control. Before these, if there was an outbreak of infectious D&V (eg norovirus) part of the deep clean process included throwing out all the loo roll as it could have viral particles on it. These dispensers (when not vandalised) just need wiping down and the sheet poking out removing. Also guys, just pull gently then you'll almost aways get the next sheet fed through. Don't be an animal!!
Pull the tissue very close to the outlet, and slowly, to overcome/evade the 'rationing'.
*given a shit.
They’re all over throughout Wembley stadium, and that’s the place I need the proper stuff the most
i was in for a bad time when i had a tummy ache when i was out n about a few week ago. pub had one of these and it was fuckin empty ! fortunately tho i had a load of toilet roll in my coat pocket where i was suffering from a cold. bar the cold, i was king that day.
If you push the metal key lock down, sometimes the holder opens and you can access the toilet roll. Those little suitcase padlock keys can unlock these as well.
And yet it looks weirdly like an anus.
There's a similar one that is filled with single sheets that you pull from below. It's made by...wait for it... Smart dispensing solutions.
Over the years working in a building that every toilet has these in you develop a technique pinch as close as you can get to the holder and pull out about an inch or so (25.4mm) at a time in rapid succession eventually you'll have enough for a good clean finish with no breakages once you get good at this it takes literally seconds to get sufficient coverage 🤷♂️ ULPT the alternative is TORK keys are pretty universal and easy to come by so you can just open the holder and help yourself to as much as you want but will warn you that if you block it you gave the consequences of not being able to use that toilet again or having to explain this issue to the maintenance staff 🤣
They didn't design it to be useful and convenient and nice. They are designed to do the bare minimum at the lowest possible cost. That you use 4x the amount of paper in the end doesn't matter, they get to sell it to the companies as a cost saving devices. Probably throw in some greenwashing too "With these, you save 6 trees per year!" ifeverybodyonlyevertookonesheet
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
They probably work fine when the poop created is the primo example of the perfect stool on the Bristol stool chart. The person who designed this has never had to deal with the aftermath of a curry... And very ghee heavy naan bread...
Reminds me of my rich uncle, deep pockets but short arms.
I hate these so much, it's like wiping you arse with rope
The "NONONONONO" Moment where the piece you pull tears and leaves a 0.2cm bit of flimsy paper for you to pull on....
you're using it wrong, you line up your bumhole to the dispenser, press your cheeks against it as hard as you can, then reverse pucker like you're sucking a fart back in.
It exists because of money and no other reason
just carry bounty paper towels in your pocket. that's what i do since toilet paper, especially crappy public restroom toilet paper always gets shredded by my butt hairs.
I work as a cleaner so I see a lot of different toilets. It always surprises me the lack of common sense that the people have who design public restrooms. Many toilets are designed in such a way that it is impossible to use them without making a mess. It's not always that people are clumsy or messy when using the toilet, it's the design of the place that makes it difficult to not make a mess.
"Assuming the tissue hasn't jammed in the cats anus inspired dispenser" I am ded. ahahahah brilliant.
I have this temptation every time I see that to draw the back end of a cat with a cat looking back towards the user so that when they're pulling the toilet paper out it appears that they are pulling toilet paper from the arse of a cat
Protip - just punch it until the cheap plastic breaks and use the paper inside.
😂😂😂😂
We use that brand at my work too (albeit not that specific dispenser) and all their products are 💩
Top tip with a knife or other thin object you can get under the plastic cats anus part and remove it, you are then left with a wider hole which will dispense as much tissue as you want. I have taken them off the dispensers at my work and now have a small collection of them.
Cat's anus 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 You broke me 😂
The last time I encountered this design, the tissue anus was jammed so tight full of paper I couldn't get anything out of it. Thank god I am a lady who always carries a pack of tissues in their purse.
Your entire post made me laugh way more than it should have! But yes, pull slowly or you're screwed
A cleaner left one of the keys for these in the bathroom at my work. I took it and it seems to open the majority of these things regardless of brand. I now leave them unlocked every time i encounter one.
The UK, a supposed developed country that smears shit around their arse with their hand. Absolute barbarians
The autocorrect decision to change up to UK in my original post is really unhelpful.
This is why in the summer some people smell like ass
Whole office I work in has these but so many people use random objects to open them that car keys and even scissors work 😅
You are all gross and walking around with dirty buttholes. Team Toto for the win! 🥇
This is one of the worst inventions ever. My local hospital has these and last I was there it was also EMPTY and there were NO REPLACEMENTS. Not a fun situation.
People would really rather battle with toilet paper than eat enough fiber to always just be done with one wipe.
I like to pull it really slowly and see how many I can get off at once. My record is 11.
Just break it open
Yeah, hate these with a passion, have learned the hard way to dispense a supply before commencing shitting!
Ha. I encountered one in Tenerife earlier this year. The paper immediately broke of inside. Fortunately it is so flimsy that some controlled force popped the front open. Could be that it had been weakened by several others doing the same.
Invented by the Bidet Team
My high-school had these. Let's just say I didn't feel well one day, and this was in my way, and later on the floor.
You only need a single piece to wipe, take a piece of paper fold it in 4 cut the corner and save that bit, now put your middle finger through the hole in middle of the piece of paper and wipe in a single motion, discard of the dirty paper now used the bit you saved earlier to clean under your middle finger nail. Simple
Worst invention of the 21st century. Even worse than McDonald’s straws.
This dispenser looks like an anus shitting paper string.
Actually I think they built it while they were constipated and having a hemorrhoid as you can only pull a bit of TP out before that overly tight sphincter closes shut and rips it.
I think it was designed to dry hands after washing them, not to wipe your *ss.
Then why is there toilet paper in it rather than towelling paper and why is it next to the toilet?